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  • Marriage Ceremonies atMarriage Ceremonies at

    Ullet Road Church Ullet Road Church

    Wedding InformationWedding Information

  • Preface

    This booklet has been compiled to enable you to prepare

    your wedding at the Ullet Road Unitarian Church. It contains

    an outline of the legal requirements; a specimen service;

    suggestions for readings; a brief history of the Ullet Road

    Church; an introduction to Unitarianism; answers to some

    frequently asked questions; a checklist of things to do; and

    some useful phone numbers and email addresses. Should

    you have any further questions, please contact your Wedding

    Co-Ordinator who will be always pleased to help.

    Rev. Phil Waldron

    3rd October 2017

  • Legal Weddings and Wedding Blessings in Ullet Road

    Unitarian Church.


    Marriage in the Unitarian Church 1

    Legal Requirements 1

    Organising your Wedding 2

    Outline of a typical Wedding Service 4

    Suggested Readings 9—27

    Suggested Hymns—28

    Preferred Caterers—29

    Checklist 44

    Appendix: Useful Contact Numbers and Emails 45

  • Marriage in Ullet Road Church is pleased to offer itself as a venue for the celebration of both legal

    wedding ceremonies and wedding blessings. In keeping with our church’s liberal ethos, we place no

    barrier on the remarriage of divorced people and same sex, holding firmly to the principle that the

    conscience of the individual takes precedence over ecclesiastical regulations.

    However, we do expect those who marry in our church to be in sympathy with our principles and to

    attend some worship services before the wedding takes place.

    Legal Requirements: It is necessary for both parties to the marriage to meet with their Local Registrar

    of Civil Marriages. This must be done at least three months before the proposed date of the wedding

    (although, in certain circumstances, it is possible to obtain a court order to bypass this regulation).

    You will be expected to make and sign a declaration in the Registrar’s presence that there is no im-

    pediment to the said marriage. The Registrar concerned may require each party to an intended mar-

    riage to provide him or her with evidence relating to the party’s forename, surname, address, marital

    status, age and nationality, as may be specified by the Registrar. At this time the couple should tell

    the Registrar that they intend their marriage to take place in Ullet Road Unitarian Church, and give

    the name of the wedding solemniser.

    The Registrar will give the couple a Certificate of Marriage . This is a very important document and

    when you are given the certificate it must be handed to the Minister or an Authorised Person of Ullet

    Road Church.

    The wedding diary fills up rather quickly, and the summer months are very busy, so it is best to fix

    your date and time well in advance. Please contact the Wedding Secretary or Minister and he/she will

    make appointment with you to explain the process in person. You can drop in during a Sunday Ser-

    vice which starts at 11am and we can chat with you then. You will be required to complete an infor-

    mation form when you have a set a date with the Wedding Secretary and Minister.

    About one month before the wedding day, you will be contacted by the Minister and invited to come

    to the church in order to attend to the church’s own administrative requirements. This will also be an

    opportunity for you to discuss the format of your wedding. If, by some oversight, you are not

    contacted, then make contact with the church yourself and arrange a date to meet with the Minister.

    In the meantime, be thinking about your wedding ceremony. What readings would you like?

    (see suggestions for readings in this booklet). What kind of music do you want? What about flowers?

    (Music and flowers are the responsibility of bride and groom, and are not covered by the fee paid to

    the church.) And remember, your Minster will always be willing to answer any queries you may have.

    Contact can be made by telephone or email, and he or she will generally be available after Sunday


    Two days or so before the wedding you will meet with your Minister for a rehearsal in the church.

    You may want to bring your best man and chief bridesmaid to this, along with any other members of

    your wedding party who may be participating, but this is by no means necessary and, generally

    speaking, only bride and groom are required.

    If you have not already done so, you will be expected to pay the fee six weeks before the wedding.

  • Outline of a Typical Legal Wedding Service.

    Entry of Bride (accompanied by music)

    Welcome by Minister

    Opening Words of Ceremony

    Lighting of Candles


    First Hymn/Song/Music

    First Reading

    Second Reading

    Declaration of Ability and Intent

    Third Reading

    Fourth Reading

    Second Hymn/Music/Song


    Marriage Vows

    Personal Vows

    Exchange of Rings

    Signing of Register (accompanied by music)

    Third Hymn/Song/Music

    Unity Candle

    Unity Blessing

    Final Blessing Exit (accompanied by music)

  • Declaration of Ability and Intent

    During the declaration of ability and intent the couple are

    asked to repeat the words below, first to the Bridegroom

    then to the Bride:

    First Ability:

    I do solemnly declare

    That I know not

    Of any lawful impediment

    Why I.....................

    May not be joined in matrimony To.........................

    Secondly Intent


    will you take.....

    (name) be your wife? (Husband)

    Will you love her,

    comfort her,

    honour and protect her,

    and forsaking all others be faithful to her as long as

    you both shall live?

    The bridegroom will answer, ‘I will’.

  • Suggested Readings....


    Amongst all the virtues, loyalty is the one I prize highest. Loyalty is

    the acceptance and enactment of an invisible bond. Loyalty demands

    loyalty, not in a demanding way, but in the way that the sun demands

    that the autumn day is warm: it makes it so.

    Loyalty is a celebration of something sacred – that beyond the

    calls of duty or of self-interest, there are sacred gifts – the gifts of

    friendship and gratitude.

    Loyalty is an enactment of thankfulness. Loyalty is a strong

    rope to hold onto in the darkness. Loyalty is the knowledge that

    somewhere over the hill there is a safe place, a fire lit and a meal

    served, though you cannot yet find it.


  • Poetry of Persons by Tessa Ransford

    We love each other utterly

    in sharing what we do not have,

    we find each other finally

    in losing what we cannot save.

    We keep each other continually

    in taking what we dare not hold;

    we win each other daringly

    when every treasure has been sold.

    We fill each other with good things

    when we hunger for the least

    and receive the cup of blessing

    uninvited to the feast.

    We bring each other healing

    in the strong herbs of silence;

    we hear each other speaking

    in the quiet voice of distance

  • We come to know each other

    accepting what we do not know;

    we come to choose each other

    whom we’d chosen long ago.

    We see each other perfectly

    in the beholding of the night;

    we trust each other lastingly

    in the unfolding of the night

    We complete each other constantly

    but grow to a new whole;

    we form a part of all that is,

    and all that forms us is a soul.

  • I Do Not Love You As If You Were Salt-Rose Or Topaz

    by Pablo Neruda

    I do not love you as if you were salt rose or topaz

    or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off

    I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,

    in secret, between the shadow and the soul

    I love you as the plant that never blooms

    but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers;

    thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,

    risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body

    I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.

    I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;

    so I love you because I know no other way

    than this: where I does not exist, nor you,

    so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,

    so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep

  • I Love You by Roy Croft

    I love you,

    Not only for what you are,

    But for what I am

    When I am with you

    I love you,

    Not only for what

    You have made of yourself,

    But for what

    You are making of me

    I l