Listening to De-escalate Conflict

Advisory – 7th Grade

ObjectivesIdentify elements of Active

ListeningParaphrase in a communication

exercise

VocabularyActive Listening:

A listening technique that involves paraphrasing or reflecting the speaker’s content and feelings.

Active Listening

Can help you de-escalate a

conflict.

The Conflict Escalator

Every behavior in a conflict is either a step up or a step down the conflict escalator.

Behavior that makes the conflict worse will take it another step up the escalator.

Every step up the conflict escalator has feelings that go with it. As the conflict escalates, so do

the feelings.

The higher you go on the escalator, the harder it is to come down.

“I don’t deserve this grade!”

Watch the following skit of a student who feels they have been unfairly graded on a test.

(this will be the role play video of HN and MD)

Discussion How could you tell the teacher was

listening? When you’ve been in situations where you

felt someone was really listening to you, how did you feel?

How might the teacher have acted if they were not listening?

What was the effect of the teacher listening on the conflict?

Have you ever had a conflict situation where listening helped de-escalate it?

Active Listening Guidelines: PEAR

P E A R

Paraphrase the facts:

“So you want to go to the party

and your parents won’t

let you.”“You thought we

were going to meet at your house before going to the

dance.”

Active Listening Guidelines: PEAR

P E A R

Encourage the other person to talk:

“I’m willing to listen to your side.”

“Do you want to talk this

out?”

Active Listening Guidelines: PEAR

P E A R

Pay Attention.

Look at the speaker.

Encourage them by nodding or other positive

signs.

Active Listening Guidelines: PEAR

P E A R

Reflect feelings.

“You sound upset about not being able to go

to the party.”

“How do you feel when she says those kinds of

things?”

Practice Paraphrasing

Get in groups of 3. Each group receives a pile of Paraphrase Practice

Cards. Student 1 draws a card and reads it to student 2. Student 2 paraphrases what they heard,

reflecting both the facts and the feelings. When student 1 feels the paraphrase is

complete, they say, “Okay.” Student 2 then reads to student 3, then student

3 to student 1.

Wrap Up Listening can help de-escalate a

conflict. PEAR is the acronym for Active

Listening. PEAR stands for Paraphrase,

Encourage, pay Attention, and Reflect.