The Book of ProverbsPractical Wisdom for Everyday Life

Lesson 10: Building Relationships

“Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, The fruit of the womb is a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, So are the children of one's youth. Happy is the man who has his quiver full of them; They shall not be ashamed, But shall speak with their enemies in the gate.”

Psalm 127:3-5

Outline• Parents and Children• Friends and Neighbors• Faithfulness• Love• Doing Good• Enemies

Key Lessons – Last Week• We know the seriousness of being a false witness, but

are we honest in all walks of life? What about on tax forms? What about job applications? Do we embellish the truth to make ourselves appear to be more than we are?

• The character of our friends says much about whether or not we are really committed to Christ. Be careful about your associations.

• A contentious person can be a real irritant. Am I ever contentious? Can I be unpleasant to be around?

• When it comes to quarrels, are we quick to jump in and take sides. Don’t meddle in other people’s quarrels.

Key Lessons• Children are to be accepted as sacred trusts from God;

they are to be trained, cherished, and disciplined with love.

• A friend who is a brother in Christ can sometimes be closer and more helpful than our family. Let's be true friends for one another.

• Love forgives. It overlooks wrongs and moves on. Do we?

Parents and Children - Behavior• Wise sons

• 23:15-16• “My son" - hearkens back to the first part of the

book - joy he will have if heart of his son is wise• 23:24-25

• Idea of rejoicing – 5 times• Truly a delight to the father and mother• Is not an accident; wise parenting is key

• 27:11• Gives the father such a lift that he can answer

anyone, even someone that criticizes him.

Parents and Children - Behavior• Wise vs. Foolish

• 10:1; 15:20 - effect on parents: gladness vs. grief• 10:5 – wise - gathers in summer; foolish causing

shame - sleeps in harvest• 13:1 - reaction to instruction: wise - heeds; scoffer

does not listen• 28:7 - wise (discerning) - keeps the law; foolish

causing shame - companion of gluttons• 29:3 - loves wisdom - father rejoices; companion of

harlots - wastes his wealth

Parents and Children - Behavior• Foolish and rebellious sons

• 17:25 - cause parents grief• 19:13 - the ruin of his father• 19:26 - mistreats parents - causes shame and brings

reproach• 20:20 - curses parents - will die• 28:24 - robs parents and claims it's not wrong - same

as a destroyer• 30:11-14 - a generation that curses parents, is pure in

own eyes, is proud, takes advantage of the poor• 30:17 - eye mocks father and scorns obedience to

mother - serious punishment will come

Parents and Children – Correction & Discipline• 15:5; 23:22 - contrasts the foolish and prudent in this regard• 19:27 - Consequence of not listening. When you stop

listening, you begin to forget knowledge.• 29:17 - If you really want rest, you can’t give up on

correction. Be consistent and patient and it will pay off.• 22:6

• Train up – literally, dedicate. Start them in the right way• The godly parent will start early and be attentive• “in the way he should go”

• The literal Hebrew: “on the mouth of his way”• The way he should go• The way he goes

• What a child learns as he grows will stay with him

“Children are to be accepted as sacred trusts from God; they are to be trained, cherished, and disciplined with love; and they are to be guided by a consistent pattern of godliness followed by the parents themselves. This is what is meant by bringing them up “in the discipline and instruction of the Lord’ (Eph. 6:4). This type of training implies a policy of treating children as even more important than one’s own personal convenience or social life away from home. It means impressing on them that they are very important persons in their own right because they are loved by God, and because he has a wonderful and perfect plan for their lives. Parents who have faithfully followed these principles and practices in rearing their children may safely entrust them as adults to the keeping and guidance of God and feel no sense of personal guilt if a child later veers off course. They have done their best before God. The rest is up to each child himself.” (Gleason L. Archer)

Parents and Children – Correction & Discipline• “rod” - shebet - from an unused root probably meaning to

branch off; literally, a stick (for punishing, writing, etc.)• 13:24 - Do you love your child? Provide proper discipline• 22:15 - Spanking a small child an effective way to correct

• None of these are implying child abuse• If you have used spanking judiciously, you know this

• 19:18• While there is hope - before they grow too old and

discipline does no good• If you spank at an early age, discipline easier as they

grow older• Never spank out of anger. If not in control of your

emotions, have your spouse take care of it.

Parents and Children – Correction & Discipline• 23:13-14

• As much as a child might sound like they are about to die when you spank them, they will not

• Will play on your emotions• Be firm yet loving. Be consistent. • Follow up any discipline with reassurances of your love

for them.• 29:15

• Real child abuse is leaving a child to himself• i.e. not teaching respect for authority and obedience

Parents and Children• Blessings

• Aren’t children and grandchildren a rich blessing?• 17:6 - See the mutual joy that grandparents and

grandchildren have in each other• Family members need each other for love and support

• Warnings• 11:29 - You reap what you sow. Do not cause trouble in

your own house.• 31:1-3

• King Lemuel - guidance similar to early chapters• A strong warning against the sin of fornication• Uses the closeness of their relationship (v. 2) and

speaks of the consequences (v. 3)

Friends and Neighbors - Making and choosing• 12:26 - an extremely important consideration

• Will have a significant influence on us, choose carefully• 18:24

• Point is not that you need to be friendly to have friends• Hebrew: "A man of friends will come to destruction.“• A man who sets out to make everyone a friend will

eventually compromise his righteousness• So-called friends will disappear in times of trouble• What is important is not the number of friends, but the

quality of friendship. "A friend who sticks closer than a brother" will be one who stands up for another no matter the personal risk.

Friends and Neighbors - Making and choosing• 22:24-25 - Avoid making friends with an angry man• 16:28-29

• Be careful who you associate with and make your friend

• The violent lead astray and the whisperer will separate you from even your best friend

• How much damage can gossip do? • The warning here is to recognize such a one and do

not associate with them.

Friends and Neighbors – A Help to Us• 17:17 - friends can be a tremendous help to us,

especially in times of difficulty• 27:6 - a true friend tells you what you need to hear not

what you want to hear• 27:9 - beauty of sound counsel • 27:10

• Do not abandon a friend; be there for them• Sometimes better to seek help from a friend

geographically close rather than family• A brother in Christ, can be closer and more helpful

• 27:17 - true friends make each other better• You can "sharpen" each other with wise counsel and

constructive criticism

Friends and Neighbors – Cultivating• 17:9 - friends will keep private matters between one

another• 25:17 – some neighbors make a pest of themselves

• A true neighbor will be prudent in the relationship• Don't overstay your welcome

• 25:20 - a friend will be sensitive to others' feelings• Sometimes a bubbly, happy attitude is not what's

needed in certain situations• 27:14 - be sensitive to the feelings of the one who is not a

morning person

Faithfulness• Trust and confidence in our relationships• 11:13 - the faithful one is one you can confide safely in• 13:17 - they bring health - can truly buoy the spirit• 25:13 - one you can count on is truly refreshing• 25:19

• Warning is to be careful to not place your confidence in someone who is untrustworthy

• They're like a bad tooth!• 20:6

• The hallmark of a faithful man is humility

Love• 10:12

• Speaks to a forgiving attitude• Love does this; it will overlook a wrong and move on

• 15:17• A modest dinner with one you love is better than a

sumptuous feast with hate• 27:5

• Love doesn't conceal the truth, but provides open rebuke

Doing Good• Seeking good

• 11:27 - Seeking good will find favor• Kindness

• 19:22 - Kindness is what is desired in man• Generosity

• 11:25 - Generous will be made rich• 28:27 - He who gives to the poor will not lack• 22:9 - The generous will be blessed

• Speech• 12:25 - A good word makes the heart glad• 12:14 - The fruit of the mouth will bring good

Doing Good• Good news

• 15:30 - A good report is refreshing• 25:25 - Good news from a far country is welcome

• Is there anything quite so refreshing as some cold water when you are wearied?

• Character• 14:22 - Mercy and truth belong to those who do good

• Reputation• 22:1 - A good name is valuable

Doing Good• Heritage

• 13:22 - A good man leaves an inheritance to grandchildren - physical and reputation

• Benefits• 11:17

• The merciful man will see good benefits• 14:14

• Will be satisfied from above• 12:2

• Will find favor from the Lord

Enemies• Attitude

• 24:17-18• Do not rejoice at the calamity of your enemy

• Treatment• 25:21

• Provide for your enemy

Key Lessons• Children are to be accepted as sacred trusts from God;

they are to be trained, cherished, and disciplined with love.

• A friend who is a brother in Christ can sometimes be closer and more helpful than our family. Let's be true friends for one another.

• Love forgives. It overlooks wrongs and moves on. Do we?