Last Chance Dance:ALIS 2008

Does your essay have the right moves?

Agenda 11/10 Focus: Polishing your comparative essay Investigating the rubric Indulging in essay mini lessons Give me an “A”; give me a “B”; give me a

“D –”: Assessing the essays using the rubric

HW: Please see the website calendar (you have your first Romantic assignment tonight)

A fine collection of mini lessons for your

enjoyment

Kakos Bad Word List I/me my you your Big bad good thing Really very not a lot

How to get rid of “not”? Turn the negative voice into the positive voice.

Negative voice: She was not successful. Positive voice: She was unsuccessful. Negative voice: They were not able to fulfill their

dream. Positive voice: The were unable to fulfill their

dream.

Kakos bad word list, continued How to get rid of “really” and “very”? CROSS THEM OUT You may have to adjust the adjective. Ex: They felt very sad as they left. They felt devastated as they left.

Trim the Fat: Concise Writing When in doubt, cross it out! Eliminate unnecessary adjectives. Get rid of unnecessary prepositional

phrases. Cross out any repetitive ideas. Celie feels defeated for believing in God,

when she finally realizes the kind and loving God that she has dreamt about fails to exist. She wonders how God can let such an atrocity, like rape, happen to her.

Smooth it out: Transitional words When you switch from one novel to

another, or from one paragraph to another, you need to help your reader transition by using a transitional word or phrase.

For a helpful list, check out the following website:

http://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/574/02/

Spice it up: Sentence variety Tip #1: Vary the lengths of your sentences. If

you have one or two long sentences, follow them with a short sentence. If you have several short, choppy sentences of the same length, combine two of them to make a longer sentence.

Ex: While McKenna simply loved ALIS editing to the

extent of sheer, epiphanic joy, Fitz felt that ALIS was taking over his life with unapologetic force. Brian, however, felt ambivalent.

Sentence variety, continued Tip #2: Vary the way you begin your

sentences. Ex: Ms. Leclaire was so surprised by 6th hour

that she screamed aloud and fled the room.

Surprised by 6th hour, Ms. Leclaire screamed aloud and fled the room.

Screaming aloud and fleeing the room, Ms. Leclaire was surprised by 6th hour.

Editing Steps (1) Read through the entire essay without

making any comments. (2) Edit the essay by giving specific

feedback where the essay needs help (pay particular attention to the “problem areas” that the writer has identified).

(3) Fill out the rubric carefully and give the writer an honest grade.