WHILE TODAY they bask in the joy of their baby son, JAYSON BRUNSDON and his partner Aaron Elias’s path to

fatherhood was fraught with tribulations. By Jane Albert. Styled by Kate Darvill.

Photographed by Hugh Stewart.

About a boyt’s an idyllic sunny day and the scene inside Jayson Brunsdon and Aaron Elias’s Sydney apartment is one of domestic bliss. We have all enjoyed a cuddle with baby Roman, their adorable son, born January 5, who is now cooing contentedly on his play mat.

But this heart-warming scene very nearly didn’t happen. Indeed, it is far removed from the traumatic

months that preceded Roman’s birth, when Brunsdon and Elias feared they might never bring their baby home. But first things first … The teddy bears, dummies and bottles are a far cry from the world of catwalks, models, international travel and fashion shows the pair is more accustomed to, and it was in this exciting scene they first met. They have the late Charlotte Dawson to thank for introducing them 16 years ago, and the pair has been a firm partnership ever since, in life as in love. Elias is the CEO of Jayson Brunsdon, the label Brunsdon founded 11 years ago.

“We started this label in 2004 and it exploded. We were working six or seven days a week, travelling up to six times a year,” Brunsdon says. “I was having fun and was quite ambitious and driven; I wasn’t paternal at all.” But for Elias it was a different story: the gentle, softly spoken man always craved a child. “When we first started dating, I said to Jayson: ‘I want kids.’ And he said: ‘Yep, we’ll think about that later!’” Life and the label took over, but it seemed the universe had different plans. In the midst of the whirlwind that followed the label’s success, the GFC took over, bringing them crashing back to Earth. Then came Brunsdon’s prostate cancer diagnosis.

“We reached rock bottom,” Elias says. “It was very difficult times. The cancer was the worst, it was two to three years of chemo, then the recovery; everything went pear-shaped. Jayson does the creative and I do the business side, so when Jayson was sick the creative wasn’t there.” Thankfully, Brunsdon did make a full recovery, but all their time and energy went into his recuperation. It left them with a profoundly different approach to life. “You learn so much from it,” Brunsdon says. “You come out a lot stronger and it changes all your priorities.”

That life re-evaluation meant Brunsdon was now ready to start a  family. The couple first looked to India, but just as they were about to sign on the dotted line, India outlawed surrogacy for homosexual couples. They then sought advice from Surrogacy Australia, which suggested they look into Thailand instead.

Conscious of wanting Roman to be part of them both genetically, they were gratified when a cousin offered to donate some eggs. “She has her own young children and she’s a really lovely girl,” says Brunsdon. “She knew how important it was to us that he was part of us, and she didn’t want either of us to feel excluded … so Roman can grow up knowing he’s part of both his daddies,” adds Elias. They feel they were equally blessed with the surrogate mother, a  Thai woman whose family they came to know well during the pregnancy. “She was very maternal, and her whole family knew about it [and supported it],” says Elias. “She wanted to do this so she could pay for her boys’ university,” Brunsdon says.

Miraculously, not only did the eggs fertilise, but the surrogate fell pregnant on the first IVF attempt. Now they just had to get through the next 36 weeks. “They were long days, long weeks, long months,” says Elias. But there were more hurdles to come. Just one week after they found out they were expecting a boy, news broke of the baby

IGammy scandal in Thailand. Immediately the Thai government threatened to shut down all surrogacy agencies, leaving 300-plus expectant Australian parents in a nightmare limbo land.

“I was here on my own, Aaron was in Singapore, and I couldn’t get an answer out of anybody. I was a complete wreck,’” Brunsdon says. It got worse. “I rang the agent and they said to sit tight, because the recommendation was that all hospitals and doctors had to adhere to these new laws and if we tried to bring him out of Thailand we could be trialled for human trafficking,” says Elias. “Which meant we could be thrown in jail.”

This roller-coaster went on for three weeks, during which the press got wind of the fact one of the babies stuck in the middle of this diplomatic crisis belonged to a high-profile Australian fashion designer, and the calls were relentless. Eventually, foreign minister Julie Bishop and Surrogacy Australia intervened and a moratorium was placed on couples whose babies were already in utero. Baby Roman was safe. (Thai surrogacy has since become illegal for non-Thai couples and same-sex couples.)

Now all that remained was the not insignificant matter of the birth, and the couple flew in four weeks early, in case of any more unforeseen complications. Finally the big day arrived, without incident. “Only one of us was allowed in the operating theatre,” Elias says. “And of course [when Roman was born], I cried like a baby myself. They had to sit me down and told me they wouldn’t

hand me the baby until I controlled myself! It was the happiest day of my life.” For Brunsdon, Roman’s birth left him with emotions that still overwhelm him today. “This incredible feeling of love swept over me,” he says. “This wave of immense happiness and pride, it was completely unique. I felt, wow, we’re a little family. Which is something that being gay and of my generation, you would never think would happen. It felt like a miracle.”

Not only does Roman Elias Brunsdon have two very doting dads, his fairy godmothers, including Leona Edmiston, Kristy Hinze and Nicole Naccarella, are already showering him with love (and designer gifts), and his “bio mum”, as she’s called, will continue to play a role in Roman’s life. Elias and Brunsdon are aware that growing up with two dads will have its challenges for Roman, and this was made all too real recently when gay Italian designers Domenico Dolce and Stefano Gabbana made comments about children born through IVF referring to “chemical offspring” and using the phrase “rented uterus”. Responding to the instant backlash from celebrities, among them Ricky Martin, Sharon Stone and Elton John, Dolce stressed he was expressing a private point of view, not casting judgment or telling anyone else how to live their lives.

Brunsdon and Elias plan to combat potential bullying and discrimination by being up-front with Roman about the facts of his conception. “I think the world has changed,” Brunsdon says. “My parents live in rural Australia and when Roman was born, two little girls next door brought them flowers.”

Today, Brunsdon has reluctantly returned to work while Elias juggles working from home with parenting. Brunsdon also admits he has a new creative urge – a kidswear line – that they hope will be set up by year’s end. It all seems so harmonious that it begs the question: would they consider giving Roman a brother or sister?

“I would. So yes!” answers Elias immediately. Brunsdon’s response, however, is a little more considered. “I’m just happy we have our little miracle at the moment.” ■

“ROMAN CAN GROW UP

KNOWING HE’S PART OF BOTH HIS DADDIES”

186 – APRIL 2015 VOGUE.COM.AU – 187

HA

IR: B

RA

D M

ULL

INS

GR

OO

MIN

G: P

ETER

BEA

RD

ELIA

S W

EAR

S A

BA

SSIK

E SH

IRT

BR

UN

SDO

N W

EAR

S

HIS

OW

N T

-SH

IRT

DET

AIL

S LA

ST P

AG

ES