1 of 22

INTERVIEW WITH STEPHANIE GASANA

Archives vivantes des Rwandais exilés au Canada suite au Génocide et aux violences

antérieures/ The Living Archives of Rwandan Exiles and Genocide Survivors in Canada/

Ubuhamya bw’Abanyarwanda bahungiye muri Canada Jenoside n’itotezwa ryayibanjirije

Interview status: Public

Name of interviewee: Stéphanie Gasana [St. G.]

Name of interviewer: Sandra Gasana [Sa. G.]

Name of videographer:

Number of sessions: 1

Interview location:

Date of interview: April 5, 2012

Language of interview: French

2 of 22

Name of transcriber: Chrysanthe Kayisire

Name of reviser: Gisèle Simbi

English translation by: Charlotte Doane

Date of transcription: December 22, 2016

DVD viewed on: Windows Media Player

Editorial Note

This interview was conducted with Stéphanie Gasana, a Rwandan woman who has lived mainly

in Ethiopia and now lives in Canada. Thanks to stories told by her parents, brothers and sisters,

as well as by several Rwandans living all over the world, Stéphanie was able to reconnect with

members of her family living in Canada. This also gave her the opportunity to establish and

nurture strong relationships with other Rwandans living in Canada. Today, she is continuing her

studies at Concordia University and considering the possibility of one day moving to Rwanda to

contribute to the country’s development.

3 of 22

00 : 12

Sa.G: Hello Stéphanie.

St.G: Hello.

Sa.G: Thank you for agreeing to this interview.

St.G: It’s my pleasure.

Sa.G: I know you’ve already participated in the Life Stories project, so I don’t need to

introduce it to you.

St.G: No.

Sa.G: So, to start with, for those who do not know you yet, introduce yourself.

St.G: My name is Stéphanie Gasana, I’m 22 years old. I’m Rwandan. I’m a student at

Concordia, in Communication Studies, and… What else can I say… I grew up in Ethiopia… yes.

Sa.G: Great, a great introduction. So, we are going to really go deep into your memories,

the furthest back, the furthest… Did you know your grandparents?

St.G: I didn’t know my grandparents, not on my mother’s or my father’s side. But I heard so

much about them that I feel like I knew them. That, that’s mostly the case on my mother’s side. I

grew up with my mother, so all my life, she tells me about her mother—she told me about her

mother all throughout my childhood. Her mother’s name was Adèle. And her father too… She

would tell me about my father’s mother too, a lot, she told me a lot about my paternal

grandmother, and I think they were quite close. And so, yeah—but I never had the chance, I

wasn’t able to meet them and they died during the genocide. I think my paternal grandmother

died a bit before, some years before—yes, she died in 1990, when I was born. So that’s it, I never

knew my grandparents.

4 of 22

Sa.G: [Pause]. So, tell me… your earliest memories of your parents. What was your family

life like?

St.G: Family life! [Pause]. It’s hard to think of! … My earliest memories, my God, what were

they? [Pause]. I think it goes back to when I was three or four, in Ethiopia. Before that it’s fuzzy,

but… yes, I was three or four, in Ethiopia with my mom, always with my mom. And then… It

was a Sunday… Every Sunday my mother would take me to this restaurant, [pause] an Ethiopian

restaurant, I love Ethiopian food and so does my mother. So Sundays, sometimes we would go to

church, or sometimes, sometimes not. And since the maid wasn’t there—the maid was the one

who did the cooking—she was off, so [my mom] would take me to get tops, which is a

traditional dish. And so I was three years old, and she’d say to me, “Tell me, what’s happening at

school, tell me about your life.” And I remember eating at the same time as telling her all about

my friends, my best friend did this to me, and why… I would talk all about my life. And my

mother would listen to me carefully, just like you are right now. Looking at me like that, and

everything I was saying was very, very important, and most importantly she would ask me the

next day how it all went, if I had made up with my friend, if—if I didn’t like my hairdo. I

remember it was, I had this stylish phase where I didn’t like my braids, so she told me we’ll

change them. And we would  really talk about everything. Ah, I remember those Sundays. Those

Sundays eating tops with my mom and talking about my problems—and I had a lot of them. A

lot a lot [laughs].

Sa.G: [Laughs] Oh, that’s great. [Pause]. So those are the earliest memories… Do you have

brothers and sisters?

St.G: Yes, I have three big sisters, Solange, Sylvie and Sandra, and two little brothers, Raul and

Yano—“Yan.” Solange, Sylvie and Sandra live here in Canada with me, and my brother Raul,

5 of 22

who is my adopted brother, lives in London and my other little brother, who is my half-brother,

lives in Ottawa with my father. And, yeah.

Sa.G: What relationship do you have with each of them?

St.G: My sisters?

Sa.G: And your brothers.

St.G: And my brothers… [Pause].

Sa.G: Growing up and today.

St.G: Unfortunately, I didn’t grow up with my sisters for very long. I was born in 1990 and my

sisters were in Libya with my father. My parents separated when I was very young; my sisters

grew up with my dad for a bit, so, I was an only child until I was four, I think, and then my

sisters came from Libya, and then… So I was very young, I remember my sisters, especially

Solange, she was… She liked to go for walks with me. I remember, she was there from 1993, I

think she—yes, I’m getting mixed up, she was there from 1993, it was my other two sisters who

were still in Libya. So yeah, she liked to buy me lollipops, she kind of liked spending time with

me. Then my two other sisters came and I remember I was really, really happy because, because

I was still getting lots of attention and since they didn’t know me very well and only saw me,

maybe on vacations, they liked spending time with me too… Yeah, I was spoiled, I was

pampered. We lived together from 1994 to 1997. Then, they went to Canada for school and my

adopted little brother came, so… I think. No, my adopted little brother came first and then after

that my sisters left. I grew up with my adopted brother from 1997 to 2008, and our

relationship… We’re really, really close… I would see my sisters at least during vacations and

that kind of thing, so yeah, we’re close, but there is a big age gap. My sister, the youngest is ten

years older than me, and the oldest, Solange, is fifteen years older than me. Which makes it…

6 of 22

It’s different, very different. But we’ve still managed to grow closer, especially the older I get,

the closer we get, I think. Yes. My little brother Yan—who I met when he was two or three years

old, I think—lives in Ottawa, he’s very young, he’s eleven now… I try to be there for him, I try

to spend time with him. And… Yeah, I think we’re pretty close too.

Sa.G: And so when you were in primary school, especially preschool, your memories are

vague. What memories do you have of primary school?

St.G: Primary school, primary school… [Pause]. Primary school in Addis Ababa… I remember,

I know, I remember my first year of CP, which is the first year of primary school, I was in CP-B

and I had a teacher named Mr. Lafenêtre [the window] and I thought that was so funny, it was

hilarious to me, it was [gasps]. All year long I had to tell everyone that my teacher’s name was

Mister The Window. That [laughs], that made me laugh. I remember I learned to read that year,

and my mother forced me to read every day… and she forced me to do my homework, mostly I

had to do homework. I would have maybe one sentence to read, but my mother would make me

do more work. I remember I didn’t like that very much, and that was, how many years? It was

five years of primary school… [Pause] And I had this pressure on me, I had to be first in the

class, or close to it, for my mother to be proud of me. So I remember that I had to study a lot

more than others. But other than that, I have some memories, good memories—lots of playing, I

had lots of friends and I remember I really liked skipping rope, playing hopscotch… What else

did I like to do…? Yeah, and so I ended up liking school and liking reading, I liked doing my

homework… I didn’t have a choice, really, so I was more of a quiet kid in class, very quiet. I

know I didn’t like, really didn’t like having to recite poems, that was a really difficult thing for

me. So yeah, I was sort of the girl who liked to keep to herself, who usually sat in the front of the

class and just… and who was a good student, yes!

7 of 22

Sa.G: Did you have a favourite subject?

St.G: Did I have a favourite subject? [Pause]. Yes, it was always French, French class. I liked

my French classes a lot because my mother really liked to teach me grammar and verb

conjugation and it was something that didn’t bother me as much compared to other students. I

really liked, I liked to write, taking a dictation with no spelling mistakes, ha, I loved that. Yes,

French class.

10 :13

Sa.G: And so was your secondary at the same school?

St.G: The same school. So from preschool, from age three, up to age eighteen. I was at the same

school for fifteen years, the Lycée franco-éthiopien Guébré-Mariam.

Sa.G: What was it like being at the same school the entire time?

St.G: It’s good and bad. [Pause]. It’s—I was very happy because I felt very comfortable.

Especially in secondary school when I was really the one welcoming new kids, it was my

schoolyard, it was… I was kind of the only one making people feel at home, and by then I had

started becoming a bit more social. I knew the cleaning ladies, I knew the janitors who’d

watched me grow up, I knew all of my teachers, because the teachers—especially my French

teachers, or even the Ethiopian teachers who’d been there for a few years—they knew me too,

they’d watched me grow up. So they were like my family, they were a second family. I had my

family at home and another family at school. So all the employees knew me, they knew my name

and I felt like… like it was, well, I felt really comfortable. But at the same time, I always wanted

to be the new kid at another school, I remember I wanted to move, I wanted to go to Canada, or

even, even just anywhere. I remember saying to my mom, “I’ve kind of had enough of the same

school, I want to be the new kid in class for once, I want… Couldn’t you, couldn’t we just

8 of 22

move?” But, well, it was… It was sort of a dream, because I was sure that I was never going to

leave Ethiopia. So… yeah, that was it, it’s nice to be in your own element. Afterwards, when you

change countries, there are many, many challenges that arise. And I’d always been in the same

school, but… at the time, anyway, it was good, I was really happy.

Sa.G: Did you have any hobbies, any pastimes outside of school?

St.G: Did I have any hobbies, what did I like to do…? [Pause].

Sa.G: Maybe in secondary school?

St.G: In secondary school… [pause]. Well it’s Africa, it’s Ethiopia, so it’s not the same as here.

There are not nearly as many things to do… So it was a lot of going over to friends’ houses, and

there were birthday parties, and… And other than that, I would spend afternoons with friends,

and what did we do… We watched movies, we watched a lot of movies, we’d borrow DVDs,

VHS tapes at the time, and then DVDs later… And… There were kermesses, these events

organized by the school where we’d go and… we’d play games, there were contests. I wasn’t

very athletic, so… I didn’t play sports like some others could. I did a bit of classical dance, for

two years. I took two years, two years of piano lessons… [Pause]. What else did I do? Then,

yeah, later I was very involved at my school, and I was the class representative one year. The

class representative is involved in school events, so there were meetings with all the other class

reps, and we had to organize end-of-year parties, I really liked that. So I had a few activities I

really enjoyed anyway, yeah.

Sa.G: And big vacations; did you go away on trips? Did you ever go to Rwanda? How

would you spend the summer?

St.G: Summer. [Pause]. I went to Rwanda in 1995 and in 1996. Unfortunately I don’t have any,

any memories. I don’t have many memories, I do have a few little ones: imbeba [Kinyarwanda:

9 of 22

mouse]. The only real memory I still have is the mice. I was afraid of mice; there were mice in

Rwanda and I didn’t want to go back because of it [laughs]. There were no mice in Ethiopia, so I

didn’t have to worry… So, yes, I went there on vacation in 1995 and 1996. Actually, I seemed to

be on vacation more often than not, I’d say. I came to Canada for the first time in 1998, I

remember that a bit better. It was everything I’d dreamed of, like in the movies! And I had been

to London on the way, there was a friend of my mother’s who worked there, who lived there and

we spent a few days with her. And then I came to Canada and stayed two months, the best two

months of my life, I think! … I also travelled a bit within Canada, to Ottawa, Toronto… I

remember that year I came back to school in the fall, and I had, oh I had stories to tell, I was

proud. I’ve travelled a lot, I went to the Seychelles in 2000 with my whole family… I went…

No, Mauritius, sorry, I went to Mauritius in 2000, I went to Seychelles in 2004. I came back to

Canada in 2005 and in 2006. Other than that, in between… In between all that, I spent the

summers in Ethiopia. Yes, I’ve travelled a lot, I was, I was very lucky, I was lucky because there

were students in my class who maybe didn’t have that chance and I felt really lucky to be able to

be one of the people that got to go on vacations.

Sa.G: And so then you finished secondary school, how was your last year, senior year?

St.G: … That was in 2008, so I was really—I couldn’t wait to leave Ethiopia when I turned 18, I

was really ready to start a new chapter of my life, and to get outside of everything I had known.

And especially since I came here for vacations, I already had friends, and I dreamed of living

with my sisters too. And so… so my last year went by really quickly, in the sense that I was

planning, dreaming so much of being in Canada that, I don’t know, it went by really quickly. I

think I was distracted, I… Yeah, because I was thinking about all of that, and because I was

really young—I’m making it sound like it was a long time ago, but anyway, it was a time in my

10 of 22

life when school wasn’t that important to me, I was thinking more about like, Oh my God, it’s

my last year, and it was this big culmination. I knew I wasn’t going to come back to Ethiopia for

a long time, I was getting ready to leave, I—yeah! It was a good year!

17 :20

Sa.G: And then you came here, right after secondary school? You came that summer?

St.G: No, I came here in November 2008, so my papers took a while longer than I thought. And

yeah, that was—it was really like, I was so excited to come, the fact that it was being delayed,

that I didn’t have my papers, it was a big source of frustration in my life. I was very dramatic

about things at that time; I remember I was really unhappy because all my friends had already

gone and so why did I have to stay? And all my classmates were in France and I had decided not

to sign up for that and now I was regretting it, I told myself ugh, I would have been in France by

now at least, I should have thought about this, and so there I was in Ethiopia. But yeah, that only

lasted a few weeks and especially since my sisters came to visit for vacation during that time, it

started to go by a bit faster, and then I came to Canada, so it all worked out in the end.

Sa.G: So, tell us about your arrival in Canada. I mean you had already been, but arriving

to stay, what was that like?

St.G: [Pause]. Arriving to stay in Montreal, I arrived November 12, 2008—a big day for me, oh

my God, the first time I had travelled alone. I flew through Washington and spent several hours

there. Even then, I couldn’t wait to get to Montreal. It was cold—it actually wasn’t that cold,

now that I’ve just spent four winters here, but it must have been about zero degrees. I was

wearing a little jacket and I felt a cold like I’d never felt in my life. It was… At that point I said

to myself, yikes, maybe this isn’t going to be so easy after all! [Laughs]. But then, I lived with

11 of 22

one of my sisters, Sylvie, and her husband and daughter… Those were the first, those first few

weeks went really well. We were getting ready to celebrate Christmas, and so it was… It’s really

a big celebration here in Montreal, not at all like in Ethiopia. I was really impressed with all the

Christmas trees, the lights everywhere, the decorations, the Christmas shopping, all of it. It was

all so exciting. I spent Christmas with my father for the first time, that was also… That was a

first, and I had been really used to spending Christmas with my brother and my mom. Sometimes

we would go visit other family but that was more around New Years; at Christmas, it was usually

the three of us, and we would celebrate and have a nice little tree and that was it. But then here, it

was really this whole tra-la-la, presents and all this, we had to exchange presents with each other

and then we had to get presents for other people, and… No, but it was a good experience, I was

just… overwhelmed. I don’t know how you’d say that in French…

Sa.G: Dépassée.

St.G: Dépassée, that’s it, it was like… I was overwhelmed by everything, I was thinking, oh my

God, this is how… this is how Christmas is going to be from now on! But I was very happy. It

was kind of hard because it was the first year that I was far from my mother at Christmas, and

from my brother. And… but… Well, let’s just say I got used to it pretty quickly!

Sa.G: And so, after Christmas you started university?

St.G: Yes, January 3, 2009.

Sa.G: Okay, and what was it like going to university for the first time?

St.G: Ah [sighs], it was… Just thinking about it leaves a bad taste in my mouth. It was really a

horrible experience, the first few days I think there was a snowstorm and I got lost, I was

imagining these horror stories where my ear had frozen off because I wasn’t covered up enough.

I got off the bus either too soon or too late, I think. I couldn’t find my building, you know, the

12 of 22

university. And then… I got lost… and I didn’t know where to go, it must have been minus

twenty degrees and I started crying. It was too much for me, it was too much and I didn’t know

how everything worked, I was barely managing to take care of myself, having to get to the

university by myself was too much to ask. So, no, the first few weeks were hard. And I was in

the translation program, which I found difficult as well… No, my integration wasn’t exactly up

to… to what I had hoped.

Sa.G: Were there services at the university, for newcomers and all that, for new students,

somewhere you could go…?

St.G: There were, there were. Now that I’m well acquainted with university life I know that

there is all sorts of help but you have to go and find it, which I didn’t know how to do. So with

time, I learned, I learned that you had to go and find help, but also since I started in January, it

wasn’t so easy. In September it’s much more… I don’t know if it’s more visible, or if it was my

fault. There also weren’t a lot of newcomers in my program, like recent immigrants, it was all

people from here. And well, I’m shy and I wouldn’t approach people. Yes, if I could do it over

again, I would change a lot because there really is a lot of help. You just have to seek it out and

you have to use the internet to get informed and really, there are many, many services for

newcomers.

Sa.G: And so, how long were you in that program? Translation?

St.G: …2009… I did it for a year and a half… three semesters, yeah. I did that for three

semesters, then in the last semester I kind of managed to get out of it because there was a big

lecturers strike, I think, and my courses were all taught by lecturers, so they gave us the option to

either make up the courses—the strike was for two months, I think—either make up the courses,

13 of 22

so extending the semester, or to get a refund. So I took, I preferred to get the refund. So, that’s

how I sort of got out of the third semester. But yes… yes, one year of translation.

Sa.G: And why didn’t you like it?

St.G: I didn’t like it because, the first semester I thought I didn’t like it because I wasn’t

excelling at it, so I told myself that must be why, I thought I’d gotten in over my head, I had

tried. But at the same time, there were a lot of things happening at the same time in my life and I

was discovering a lot of things, so I said, “Okay. I’m not getting good grades, so I don’t like the

program because I haven’t been making the effort I should be.” That’s why I decided to give

myself a second chance, and so that September, I really took the time to focus, and it still wasn’t

working, I still didn’t like it. And when I don’t like something it’s very difficult for me to put in,

to put in the effort… So, my third semester was kind of spent thinking about all that and then

finding a solution and finally making a change, which ended up meaning changing programs.

But it was… Telling my parents… of course, they weren’t happy, knowing that I had lost a year

and a half, which is really not that big a deal now that I think about it, but at the time, it was like,

wow!

26 :00

Sa.G: And so how were you able to switch? What did you do after that?

St.G: I did… I took courses at Concordia, to sort of find myself and figure out exactly what I

wanted to do. And then I came across this communications program that I was really interested

in, because I’d gotten involved with a project called Happy Memories, which kind of made me

want to do this program. So it’s a very practical communications program, we learn how to do

filming, recording, editing. So because I was doing that with Happy Memories, I thought I would

definitely like that program. And that’s it, I’ve been in it for a year and… I think I like it.

14 of 22

Sa.G: You think?

St.G: Yes, I do like it! [Laughs].

Sa.G: You like it better than translation?

St.G: It’s going better than translation, I’m interested, at least. And of course I still have to make

an effort, every program is going to take work, but… but I like it at least.

Sa.G: Are you working while you’re in school or are you just going to school?

St.G: Yes, I’m working, I work Fridays, I work once a week, but I also have other things I’m

doing on the side… So, yeah, I’m trying to make money! Yeah, I can’t, I can’t afford not to work

because I live in an apartment, so, my parents help me out, my family helps me but you still need

to have some money.

Sa.G: And… Are you involved in the Rwandan community in Montreal?

St.G: [Laughs] Yes, I think I’m pretty involved! It’s something that’s very important to me, my

sisters were very involved in the Rwandan community for several years, so every time I’d come

here I’d see it, I’d see that it was something very important, that there was this dance group

called Isangano that my sister… that my sister danced in, and there were also other things she

was involved in, everyone sort of had a hand in everything and then the first people I met in

Montreal were people from the Rwandan community, who were in Isangano or some other

group. So I always knew that when I arrived in Montreal I would be part of the community, and

that, I liked that a lot. I liked the people and… I also liked meeting people who were like me, my

peers, who talked like me, who had lived a similar life to mine. And I really like dancing, it’s one

of the first things my mother encouraged me to do when I was younger, so I was really happy

knowing that I was going to be in a dance group. So that’s how I started to get involved, and then

my sister worked for the Centre for Oral History and she really, she really liked that, she liked

15 of 22

her job, and so I kind of started to become interested in it, and I would ask her to tell me about it

and she would explain a lot of things to me, she’d sign me up for workshops where I learned a

little more, especially videography, interview workshops, to be an interviewer, and so that idea

of doing interviews with people, to learn a bit more of the history of my own country, I really

liked that! Because… because I wanted to learn about Rwanda, because I didn’t know very much

about it.

30 :25

I had had enough of people asking me the same question: “Oh, you’re from Rwanda? How are

things going there? What’s going on?” But I wouldn’t know any more than them. So it was, I

was hung up on that, sometimes I would even just say I was Ethiopian because at least I could

talk a bit more about Ethiopia, I knew more about that country. So there you go, it sounds funny

but when I came to Canada, I knew I was going to be more Rwandan than I was in Ethiopia,

where it was easier to be Ethiopian, where people didn’t even ask questions, where I didn’t have

to identify myself and explain where I’m from, etc, it was just my little cocoon where I could be

Rwandan or Ethiopian depending on what I preferred. So it was very important for me to get

involved, and my father was proud of me, and my mother too… the commemorations, I was

helping my sister too… and I started to get to know people in the community and… now today

it’s been four years. Yes, I like it a lot, I’m going to stay involved.

Sa.G: Are you also involved in the Ethiopian community here in Montreal?

St.G: No, unfortunately. I’m not involved in the Ethiopian community because I had the

impression that there weren’t many Ethiopians here, but I recently learned that there is actually a

community. But at this point, I feel like I’m sort of more Rwandan than Ethiopian, and I don’t

think I would have the time for it all. I’m picking one or the other. But there is an Ethiopian

16 of 22

community, a very small community, but… Yeah, it’s interesting, I had never thought about

getting involved really, although I would actually like to be around Ethiopians, I run into them

sometimes and I’m always eager to see them again and talk and all that. And… yeah, I really like

doing that but, well, it’s tricky because I don’t look particularly like an Ethiopian, it’s not like

Ethiopians see me and immediately come talk to me. On the other hand, any Rwandan that sees

me will come up to me and then that’s that; we’ll realize that we know each other, we know the

same people, it’s much more [inaudible].

Sa.G: But are you still in touch with people you went to school with in Ethiopia?

St.G: Yes. Yes, I have many friends who also came here from Ethiopia, who didn’t want to go to

France—I don’t really know why. But Montreal has become a city that attracts a lot of people,

because it’s in North America but it’s still francophone, so people want to come here. There are

good universities, they’re not all that expensive, neither is cost of living. Yes, I have a lot of

friends from other places, I’ve been lucky. I’ve had some friends I don’t see as much because I

happen to be in a different circle, whether that’s the Rwandan community or maybe just other

friends, so… Yeah, I didn’t leave Ethiopia just to find it again here, that’s not always something

that… But I still spend time with them, just once in a while, and I’m always happy to see them,

yeah.

Sa.G: And have you had a chance to go back to Ethiopia since?

St.G: No, unfortunately.

Sa.G: In four years?

St.G: No, unfortunately not, but I’m hoping to go back this summer, I’m really, really excited! I

miss it a lot, there are so many things I miss about Ethiopia… I also want to go to Rwanda,

because now that I’m part of the Rwandan community, everyone talks about Rwanda, everyone’s

17 of 22

always going back to Rwanda, there is so much going on there and the country is in a time of

great growth, and I want to be part of that too. So, I am—I do want to go to Rwanda even more

than to Ethiopia. I want more to go to Kigali and I hang out more with Rwandans and I live with

Rwandans and so, they talk about it so much that it really makes you want to go. So yes, in four

years I haven’t gone back yet, but I’m going this year.

Sa.G: Okay, and what are your plans—so you’re going to finish your bachelor’s at

Concordia, and what are your plans after that, do you think you’ll…?

35 :04

St.G: I… couldn’t tell you exactly. If it was up to me—well, I mean yes, it is up to me, of

course. Ideally, I would travel a bit but I don’t think that will be possible because I also want to

continue my education. I also want to further my education since these days you have to do a

master’s to get a good job and… I think that as long as I’m doing it I’ll have to get started on it

right after… So yeah, staying in school means… It involves a lot of things. In my case… Life is

pretty expensive, and since I live in an apartment, it’s tough for me, so going back to school full-

time would mean not working, and being dependent on my parents for a couple more years, and

that’s also not something that… that I’d want to do. So yeah, I’m in a bit of a dilemma, I don’t

know if I’ll do that or… if I’ll just work or even if it’s not in my field, just work to make money

and stay in that routine and pay the rent and blah blah blah… But… No, I don’t think so, I think

I’ll… I’ll find a solution, either live with my dad, and return, go to Ottawa, that would be a good

opportunity for me to… live with my dad, to build my relationship with him and especially

because I think it would make him happy if I continued my studies and it could be good for me

financially too… So, that option is the most… yeah, feasible, for me.

18 of 22

Sa.G: And do you have any plans, perhaps in the long term, do you see yourself working in

Rwanda?

St.G: You know, I’d like to see, I’d like to… I think I’ll have a bit of a better idea this summer

when I go there. I think it’ll depend on how I feel, really. I know that I’d like to work in

Ethiopia, for example, without a doubt. I’d like to really establish myself there, have my kids

there, and I think I’d be really happy there. Now that I’m pretty attached to Montreal as well,

having been here a few years, I think, I’ll probably come back here. Rwanda, I’ve never—I’ve

never lived there, I don’t even remember the last time I went there, but… It’s the same thing I

was just talking about, the fact that there is so much development going on and that everyone is

talking about it, which makes me proud to be Rwandan now, and I’m always saying that… I

think I’ll find my place there, I think that I can be a part of that development too. And in

particular, I can… I think I could bring new ideas, things that haven’t been done, and that’s

what’s cool about it! That’s what could be so interesting, I don’t think I would want to live there

for long, but maybe… Why not? But I’m more… I don’t know, I don’t know.

Sa.G: You’ll have a better idea of it when you…

St.G: Yes, when I go there. That’s why I’m—I’m really excited.

Sa.G: Ooh! And what do you think about how Rwanda is depicted in cinema, in films and

all that, do you think that it’s the reality?

St.G: … I know that most people who ask me where I’m from, when I say I’m Rwandan, they

ask me right away if I’ve seen Hotel Rwanda and well, it’s good that they’ve seen that film

because… because it explains—I mean it tells the story of the genocide. However, I don’t even

know if it was made in Rwanda, the actors aren’t Rwandan. So, no, I don’t think that the, that the

Rwanda that’s shown in the media… But it really depends. Before, I think it was a lot more

19 of 22

about the genocide and well, of course, there were often effects that were really like,

sensationalized, I think that’s the word, sensationalized. I think that maybe there is a bit of

dramatization, exaggeration. But at the same time, I’ve seen, I’ve read articles, I’ve seen videos

that actually talk about… investors returning to Rwanda and about the development that’s

happening there, economically—in all areas. And… yeah, I… I feel that that image has actually

changed. It used to have a very pejorative image, maybe not pejorative, but just that they would

talk more about the genocide and that’s all there was. And… now I think we talk more about

what’s good about Rwanda, yeah.

41 :00

Sa.G: And we talk a lot, in fact, about… not about the genocide but right now, about the

transmission of the memory of the genocide, how important it is to talk about it to the

younger people, etc… What do you think of that, do you think we should pass on that

memory to the younger generation?

St.G: Absolutely. Oh my God! I think it’s really—I’m involved in this project and it’s really

what taught me, because… It’s part of history, it’s not something we can erase. It’s not

something we can forget, clearly, because it comes back, and then—for example, the

commemoration happens, and… It’s a difficult time for everyone, but especially for our parents’

generations. It’s something that we had to go through, you don’t, you don’t want to… We all

went through it together. I remember when, when I first heard about the genocide, the first time

when I… when I knew that there was a war in my country… It’s like… It left a mark on me. It’s

something that I know was painful, and I know, I know a lot of Rwandans my age who also

experienced the same thing. And we try to talk about it, we try to learn, to ask our parents who,

of course, are reluctant at first because they want, they don’t want to… to pass on, to put that

20 of 22

pain on us. What they don’t understand is that it’s a part of them, and so it’s a part of us. We feel

like there’s something missing, we can’t, we can’t connect, we can’t—there’s something

missing. Without that transmission, it’s like they’re hiding something from us… And when we

see it all over in the media, and when everyone is talking about it, I mean, that’s—we can’t…

cover our eyes, it’s right there, you have to do something about it. It has to be passed on to us,

and then I’ll tell my children about it too, I will… I already tell everyone about it now. So yes, I

feel that it’s very important.

Sa.G: And what about the idea of reconciliation, that’s another hot topic in Rwanda.

Should we ask for reconciliation? Is there a way to live side-by-side in today’s Rwanda? Do

you think that reconciliation is important to Rwandans?

St.G: Yes. Reconciliation is very important. The case of Rwanda, I don’t, I don't know if it’s… I

think that we’ve done a good job so far; it has to be gradual. Actually, I think there are… there

were peace accords that they were signing, I think there were, if I’m not mistaken, I think that

there were actually people requesting pardons, certainly. But since it’s still so recent, I think it’s

been eighteen years—that’s a long time and at the same time, not enough. They are requesting

pardons, but since I didn’t live through that experience, I can only suppose, I can’t speak for the

survivors and the people who, who lived through it. I don’t know it it’s… if it’s been long

enough, or if we can do even more. I… It’s something that—I don’t know. I don’t know what to

think of that. But we have to… We definitely need reconciliation at some point or another,

because that’s how we’re going to move on. Now, I don’t know if the older generation—much

less the survivors, if our parents’ generations are really ready for reconciliation, maybe it’s too

soon, maybe it’s too soon. But I know that our generation, at least, we’re trying to forgive, and

not just to forgive but to forget it all, to not make distinctions between the two ethnicities or three

21 of 22

ethnicities. I hope that future generations will be even more able to stop making those

distinctions and really forgive each other. But I don’t know, I think we still need a bit more time,

I think so.

Sa.G: And finally, what do you want people to take away from your story?

St.G: … What do I want people to take away from my story! That… wow, that’s a very

interesting question, one that requires a lot of reflection! [Laughs]. But, my story, I… I had a

great childhood… I had great teenage years, I think I’ve been very, very privileged. I… I have a

lot of things—they always used to say I was the most spoiled, I… I never wanted for anything.

And… yeah, I’m really happy about all that, and that doesn’t mean that I… that I haven’t had my

own struggles [laughs]… Mainly, yeah, identity, or even, yeah I think mainly that. And I’d like

people to know that that’s sort of what I’ve been involved in lately. It’s… I’m involved in

several projects, and… we go to schools to talk about our stories. I’ve told my story at schools all

over Montreal and I’ve told them that it’s very important to talk, to ask questions, in your own

family, in your community, because I know that for me, it’s been really helpful, and today, I feel

a little more Rwandan. As a Rwandan I feel that… we’ve all had really similar experiences, I

think that the genocide has had a really big impact on all our families, all our experiences, all

our… It’s a kind of cultural wealth, I think we have to see it as a good thing and so I’d like for

people to take away… that it’s really important to hold onto that, to hold onto the history of your

country, to know a lot about who you are, about what your family has experienced, because it

helped me a lot, because today I’m much more comfortable with myself and I can continue to

educate myself, to learn. But that’s it, I’m happy and I have many, many dreams and many plans

and… What else would I like them to take away… For them to know… that you have to be

mindful of what you have… and yeah, I think that’s it! [Laughs].

22 of 22

Sa.G: Thank you very much for the interview!

St.G: Thank you! [Laughs].

[End of session 1 of 1]