8/11/2019 I'm Crazy JD Salinger

1/4

1

*

w ? "

IW^ii^S

\ 1

v ^ . i . i i i * * ^

I s t a r t e d r u n n i n g w i t h m y s u i t c a s e s b a n g i n g t h e d e v i l o u t o f m y l e g s . I r a n a l l t h e w a y t o t h e G a t e , s t o p p e d , g o t m y b r e a t h , a n d r a n a c r o s s R o u t e 2 0 2

The heart-warming story of

a kid whose only fault lay

in understanding people so

well that most of them were

haflfled hy him and only a

very few would believe in him

I

T WAS about e ight o 'c lock a t n ight , and

dark , and ra in ing , and freez ing , and the

wind was noisy the way it is in spooky

movies on the n ight the o ld slob wi th the

wil l ge ts murde red . I s tood by the cann on

on the top of Thom sen Hil l , f reez ing to

dea th , wa tching the b ig south windows of the

gym shining b ig and br ight and dumb , l ike

the windows of a gymnasium, and noth ing

e lse (but maybe you never went to a board ing

school) .

I just had on my re versib le and n o g loves.

.Somebody had swiped my camel 's ha i r the

week before , and my g loves were in the

pocke t . Boy, 1 was co ld . O nly a c razy guy

would have stood the re . Tha t 's me . Craz y .

N o k idding , 1 have a sc rew loose . But I had

to stand the re ' to fee l the goodby to the

youngness of the p lace , a s though I were an

old man. The whole school was down be low

in the gym for the baske tba l l game with the

Saxon C hart e r s lobs, and I was standing the re

to fee l the goodby.

I s tood the re boy, [ was freez ing to dea th

a nd I kept say ing goodby to

myself.

" Go o d b y , Ca u l f ie l d . Go o d b y , y o u s l o b . " I

kept see ing myse lf th rowing a footba l l

a round, wi th Buhle r and Jackson, just be fore

i t go t da rk on the September evenings, and

[ knew I 'd never throw a footba l l a round

ever aga in wi th the same guys a t the same

t ime . I t was as though Buhle r and Jac kson

and I had done somethin g tha t had d ied and

been burie d , and only I knew abo ut i t , and

no one was a t the funera l bu t me . So I s tood

there , f reez ing .

The game with the Saxon Charte r s lobs

was in the second half and you could hear

everybody ye l l ing : deep and te rr i f ic on the

Pentey side of the gym, and sc rawny and

faggoty on the Saxon Charte r s ide , because

the Saxon bunch never brought more than

the team with them and a few subst i tu tes and

man agers . Y ou could te l l a l l r igh t when

Schutz or Kinse l la or Tut t le had sunk one

on the slobs, because then the Pentey side of

the gym went c razy . But I on ly ha l f ca red

who was winning . I was freez ing and I was

only the re anyway to fee l the goodby, to be

a t the funera l of me and Buhle r and Jackson

throwing a footba l l a round in the September

evenings and f ina l ly on o ne of the cheers 1

felt the goodb y like a real knife, 1 was str ictly

a t the funera l .

So a l l o f a sudden, a f te r i t happened, I

sta r ted running down Thomsen Hil l , wi th

my su i tcases banging the devi l ou t of my

legs. I ran a l l the way down to the G ate ;

then I s topped a nd got my brea t h ; then 1

ran ac ro ss Ro ute 202 it was icy and 1 fe ll

and nearly brok e my knee a nd then 1 d is

a p p e a re d i n t o He sse y Av e n u e . Di sa p p e a re d .

You d isappeared every t ime you c rossed a

st ree t tha t n ight . N o k idding .

Wh en I got to o ld Spencer 's ho use tha t 's

where I was going1 put down my bags on

the porch , rang the be l l ha rd and fast and

put my hands on my earsb oy, they hurt , i

s ta r ted ta lk ing to the door . "C' mon , c 'mo n "

I sa id . "O pen up . I 'm freez ing ." Fina l ly

M rs . S p e n c e r c a m e .

" Ho l d e n " sh e sa i d . " Co m e in. d e a r " S h e

was a n ice wom an. Her hot chocola te on

Sundays was st r ic t ly lousy , but you never

m i n d e d .

I go t inside the house fast .

"Ar e you frozen to dea th ? Yo u must be

soaking wet ," 'Mrs. Spencer sa id . She wasn ' t

the k ind of woman tha t you could just be a

l i t t le we t a round: you were e i the r rea l

or soaking . But she d idn ' t a sk me wha t I

doing out of boimds. so I f igured o ld Spe

had to ld her wha t happened.

I put down my bags in the hall and took

my ha t boy, I could hard ly work my

gers eno ugh to grab my ha t . I sa id . "H

a re y o u , M rs . S p e n c e r? Ho w' s M r . S p e n

g r i p p e ? He o v e r i t o k a y ? "

"Ov er i t " Mrs. Spencer sa id . "L e t me

your coa t , dear . H olden , he 's behaving

a pe rfec t l -don ' t -kno w-w hat . Go r ight

dear . He 's in h is room."

Old Spencer had h is own room next to

k i tchen . He was about six ty years o ld , m

even older, but he got a kick out of thing

a ha l f-shot way. I f you thought abou t

Spence r you wondered w ha t he was l i

for , every th ing about over for h im and

But i f you thought about h im tha t way,

were th inking about h im the wrong way:

were th inking too muc h. I f you thou

about h im just enough, not too much,

knew he was doing a l l r igh t for

himself.

a ha l f-shot way he en joyed a lmost ever y t

a l l the t ime . I en joy th ings te rr if ica l ly ,

just once in a whi le . Somet imes i t makes

t h i n k m a y b e o l d p e o p l e g e t a b e t t e r d e a l .

I wou ldn ' t t rade p laces. I would n ' t wan

(Continued on page 48)

I L L U S T R A T E D B Y L E O N G R E G O R I

8/11/2019 I'm Crazy JD Salinger

2/4

37

r ir

1 ' ' 'l

says Happy Fox

R e g . U . S -Pat , O f f

S o l d b y o n e d e p t . s f o r e o n d t h e b e t t e r m e n s s h o p s i n y o u r t o w n .

T r u V a l M a n u f o < I

r e r s . I n c . , 2 6 1 F i f t h A v e n u e , N e w Y o r k 1 6 , N . Y.

8/11/2019 I'm Crazy JD Salinger

3/4

^Hou;

ifittcfi fs

a

(ocoinotiVe worth ?

H E price of a locomotive may range up to half

a million dollarsor more. But its worth d e

pends on what it can do.

You see, there are many different kinds of jobs

that locomotives must perform for a railroad. I t has

been common practice to meet this problem by using

many different types of locomotives, each specially

designed for cer tain types of work. Passenger loco

motives, designed primarily for speed; freight loco

motives, built chieHy for heavy hauli ng; and

"helper" locomotives, to assist on steep grades.

Now, however, as a result of long, c lose coopera

t ion be tween Amer ican Locomot ive and r a i l road

designers, locomotives are being built that can do

(7 nunihi r of special jobs and do the m w ellloco

motives that are truly multipurpose.

For example , the new "Niaga ra s , " bu i l t by

Amer ican Locomot ive for the New York Centra l ,

have set top passenger-performance records on the

c rack Commodore Vandc rb i l t runand, in adtlition,

can pull the heaviest freights at any speeds they wish

to run them. Th e N ew H aven has a la rge num ber

of diesel-electr ics, built jointly by American Loco

mot ive and Gene ra l E lec t r ic , tha t a r e doubl ing in

freight and passenger service and doing an out

s tanding job a t bo th .

The new s team locomot ives , bu i l t by Amer ican

Locomot ive for the De laware & Hudson , a r e now

haiding heavy trains, unassisted, over steep grades

where formerly it was necessary to employ two or

three "he lpe r " locomot ives .

This deve lopment means r ea l economy, because

it reduces the number of locomotives a railroad needs

to do it s job . And tha t ' s impo r tan t to you . Fo r the

more money a railroad can save, the more money it

has to improve its service.

Th is i s one of many deve lopmen ts tha t wi l l con

tr ibute to f iner railroa ding. A nd it is signif icant tha t

i t comes f rom the Com pany tha t des igned A mer

ica 's f irst diesel-electr ic locomotive, built the world's

largest steam locomotive, and supplied many of the

war locomot ives used by the Uni ted Na t ions .

TKE MAAK. OP MOOeftM LOCOMOTtO

8/11/2019 I'm Crazy JD Salinger

4/4

39

E x -Co rp o ra l Ba t e s f a c e d t h e n u m b i n g p o ss i b i li t y

t h a t sh e m i g h t n o t c o m e . He l o o k e d a t h i s wa t e h .

For f i f teen minutes more he could a t least hope

T

HE afte rnoon sun poured br ight ly

over the sca t te red c rowd a t the a i r

port . Ex-C orpora l Jame s Ba tes, s t i ll

in uniform, leaned aga inst the fence in front

of the runw ay. He was unaware of the sun

sh ine : i t s cheerfu l w armt h could not pene

t ra te the growing chi l l in h is hear t . He gazed

moodi ly in to the empty sky to the west .

She had not come on the morning p lane .

She might not come even th is a f te rnoon. I f

notex-Corpora l Ba tes drew a t igh t brea th .

He faced the numbin g possib i l i ty tha t she

might not come a t a l l .

Lifting a lean wrist, he looked at his watch.

The p la ne was not due for f i f teen min utes.

For f i f teen minutes more he could a t least

hope .

E, \ -Corpora l Ba tes sighed . He was turn ing

his eyes westward aga in when he became

awa re of a man standing near h im. He looked

to be in his ear ly fifties; well-d ressed and

prosperous, wi th smooth hea l thy cheeks un

der sl ight ly graying temples. He seemed to

be watching ex-Corpora l Ba tes; had been

watching h im. for pe rhaps some t ime .

The ir eyes met , and the st ranger smiled in

a fr iendly manner . "Wait ing for someone ' . ' "

" Uh y e a h , " e x -Co rp o ra l Ba t e s g ru n t e d

short ly . He turned away.

" We l l " T h e s t r a n g e r h e s i t a t e d , c h e e k e d

by the obvious coolness. Then he smiled

understan dingly . "Well , don"t worry , so ld ie r .

She 'Jf be a long."

Ex-Corpora l Ba tes sa id noth ing . He wished

the man would go away.

Instead the st ranger leaned aga inst the

fence, produced a cigar and bit off the end

re f lec tive ly . "Ta kes ine back twen t \ -s i \

years," he sa id , "see ing a l l you youngste rs

c o m i n g h o m e . W o n d e r i n g wh a t h a s h a p

pened whi le you were gone ; wondering i f you

will find things like you left them. Ye s. sir,

i t takes me back . I was in the o ther mes s."

Qui te casua l ly he offe red h is hand. "Bar

t o w ' s m y n a m e Wa rd Ba r t o w. "

The hand could not be ignored . Re luc

tan t ly ex-Co rpora l Ba les took i t . "M ine 's

Ba les," he admit ted .

"Glad to know you, '" the o lder man sa id .

He put a match to h is c iga r . "Yes , s i r . takes

me back . I remembe r the day I landed . I 'd

been two years overseas."

E x -Co rp o ra l Ba t e s m a d e n o c o m m e n t . He

edged away sl ight ly .

" T wo y e a r s . " t h e sm o o t h -c h e e k e d m a n r e

pea led . "Tha t 's a long , long t ime to be gone ."

"Ye ah, i t"s tough ," ex-Corpor a l Ba tes

agreed absent ly .

"Espec ia l ly ." sa id the o lder man, "when

the mai l se rv ice is bad . You ge t to w orry ing .

I'd left my girl in the States. Of course, I

d idn ' t expec t he r to wri te every day , but

when weeks would pass, and no le t te rs

Well , a man just can"t he lp wondering a l i t t le

t h e n . "

"Uh-huh ," sa id ex-C orpora l Ba tes. He

shif ted uncomfortab ly and turned h is eyes

westward aga in .

His companion drew on h is c iga r and

sighed reminiscent ly . "We 'd p lanned to be

marr ied r ight a f te r the war . and 1 knew sh e 'd

wait for me 1 was fairly su re of that. But

the wai t ing was so long . Night a f te r n ight

I 'd l ie awake and th ink of Li la , and wonder

just how much longer i t might be . Won der

ing , too , somet imes, i f anyth ing could have

changed, i f she st i l l ca red ."

Fx-Corpora l Ba tes g lanced a t the o lder

man with a sharp sense of i r r i ta t ion . The

man d id not look as though he had ever

suf-

fe red much. His we l l -kept f igure wore an a i r

of comfortab le contentment l ike a badi ie .

"I 'd a lways been c razy about Li la ," h is

companion cont inued . "I t wasn ' t one of those

simple boy-and-gir l a ffa i rs , no t on my part ,

a t least . Li la meant every th ing to me ."

Ex-C orpora l Ba tes winced . He wished to

high heaven the man would go and leave h im

a l o n e .

"And then a t la st , a f te r two ye ars," the

older man went on , "we were ordered home."

He paused , then added quie t ly . ' I t was (hose

last few days of wa i l ing tha t was the worst

of a l l . Kn owing tha t soon, a f te r a l l those

e n d l e s s m o n t h s , would rea l ly see hertouch

her And wondering , in a sor t o f agony, i f

she st i l l wanted to see me ."

E

X - C O R P O R A L J A M E S B . A TE S d r e w a

deep brea th and shut h is tee th t igh t ly .

He edged fa r the r a way.

"Becau .se , even though she rea l ly loved m e ,

two years i s an awful ly long t ime to be awa y.

Things can happen. And i f anyth ing had

happ ened Well , wi thout Li la . l i fe wouldn ' t

have been worth l iv ing for me ."

Ex-Corpora l Ba tes le t h is brea th out

slowly . Why couldn t t h e m a n g o a wa y

"All the way ac ross the At lan t ic , wi th the

tension growing hour by hour . Wond ering ,

hoping , tor tured by doubt . Up to the very

mom ent when a t long last we t ied up a t the

pie r ."

E x -Co rp o ra l Ba t e s e n d u re d a m o m e n t o f

si lence , then turned to h im. "We ll ," he de

m a n d e d ; " wa s sh e t h e r e ? "

The o lder ma n smiled sof t ly . " I t was a

day hke th is , a br ight sunny a f te rnoo n. From

the deck I could look down on the upturne d

faces on the p ie r"

Ex-Corpora l Ba tes suddenly st i f fened .

From the far side of the field came a long,

smooth roar . The p lane had a rr ived and was

sweeping down toward the runw ay. I t landed ,

and tax ied up to the ga te . Ex-C orpora l Ba tes

felt his chest tighten; his fingers clenched

about the wire of the fence .

He watched the passengers ge t out . Men ,

women, a g i r l o r two. No one he recognized .

No w t h e p l a n e wa s e m p t y . N o , th e r e wa s

o n e m o re . A wo m a n , a we l l -k e pt wo m a n o f

fifty, with a touc h of gray in her hair. An d

tha t was a l l .

E x -Co rp o ra l Ba t e s t u rn e d a wa y . He s t o o d

motionless, h is eyes shut aga inst the sudden

bi t te r tea rs. So th is was the end

From behind h im voices broke through

the g loom of h is thoughts. The re was a f lurry

of eager gree t ings, and a woman 's voice say

ing , "1 hope you 've not had to wai t too lon g ."

" Ha sn ' t s e e m e d lo n g . " I t wa s Ba r l o w r e

p ly ing . "Been ta lk ing wi th a f r iend here .

Like you to mee t h im. Cor pora l . . . . Oh,

Co rp o ra l "

Dul ly ex-Corpora l Ba tes turned a bout .

With Bartow stood the wom an from the

plane . She smiled a t ex-C orpo ra l Ba tes, and

there was warmth and beauty in he r smile .

" Co rp o ra l , " s a i d Ba r t o w, " I wa n t y o u t o

mee t my wife . Corpora l Ba tes, th is i s Mrs.

Bartow. The corpora l and I had qui te a ta lk

t o g e t h e r , Gra c e . "

James Ba tes took the hand she offe red .

" Gl a d t o " h e b eg a n a u t o i n a t i c a l l y , t h e n

s t o p p e d . Hi s j a w we nt s l a c k . Gra c e Wh y ,

tha t wasn ' t the name of the g i r l Bartow had

wai ted for . Li la , he 'd ca l led her . Li la , . , .

"Yes, s i r , " Bartow was saying , ' 'qu i te a

ta lk ." He g lanced a t h is wa tch . "Well , Cor

pora l , we ' l l have to be going ." His hand

c losed on ex-Corpora l Ba tes" wi th a so l id

fa rewel l gr ip . "Good luck , so ld ie r , and don ' t

you ever worry ." His f ingers t igh tened . "Just

as i sa id , she ' l l be a long."

a

s4o^

sJioz^ s6?t^ com^^ e^ ofc i^^ foae