Illinois Department of Children and Family Services, Pathways to Strengthening and Supporting Families Program April 18, 2010 Division of Service Support,

April 18, 2010Division of Service Support, Office of Training and Professional Development

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Illinois Department of Children and Family Services, Pathways to Strengthening and Supporting Families Program

Division of Service Support, Office of Training and Professional Development1

PATHWAYS TO STRENGTHENING AND SUPPORTING FAMILIES IN ILLINOIS

Module 5C - Communication


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Job Competencies

• Stimulate discussion through the use of active listening techniques, open ended questions, and nonverbal behaviors.

• Employ techniques to include quieter members and balance participation as well as active listening techniques and open ended questions.

• Elicit information, summarize, clarify, and reframe to facilitate a positive family team process.

• Utilize "I"-messages to confront participants as appropriate when managing the family team meeting process.

• Utilize basic principles of feedback and an eight step feedback process to give and receive feedback during family meetings.


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Poem – Listen (Anonymous)


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Active Listening

• The act of listening to another person with the intent to fully understand what he or she is saying.


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Active Listening (Cont’d)

• Facilitator models good listening skills at family meetings


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Active Listening Guidelines

• Listen on Two Levels

• Listen without Judging

• Remain Fully Attentive

• Focus on the Message

• Focus on the Person Talking


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Active Listening Tools

• Clarification

• Paraphrasing

• Reflection

• Summarization


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Clarification

• Clarification helps check the accuracy of messages as you receive and try to make sense of them.


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Clarification

1. Ask yourself what the person told you?2. Ask yourself if there are any vague or

missing parts to the message that you need to check out?

3. Select an appropriate beginning for your clarification?

4. Make a clarification response. 5. Ask yourself how will you know your

clarification was useful?


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Applying the 5 Questions (Clarification Activity)

The mother states: I don't want Jelisa out running the streets all

hours of the day and night.


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Paraphrasing

• Paraphrasing is restating, in your own words, what a person has told you verbally.


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5 Steps of Paraphrasing

1. Recall the message by stating it silently to yourself.

2. Identify the content of the message.

3. Select an appropriate beginning for the paraphrase.

4. Translate the key content into your own words.

5. Assess the effectiveness of the paraphrase by listening and observing the person's response.


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Paraphrasing Activity

• The 60-year-old grandmother: If I don't get more support I don't think I can keep this child in my home anymore.

• Teacher: Jimmy is experiencing increasing difficulty managing his behavior in the classroom. I'm not sure our BD classroom has sufficient controls to allow him to be a successful learner.

• Probation Officer: He's already been picked up by the police three times in the last month. He just doesn't seem to be able to use what we can offer to hold himself together and stay in one place.

• Therapist: Jimmy just seems to be really struggling right now and I'm concerned that we don't seem able to keep him safe in the community.


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Reflection

• Reflection involves paraphrasing the content of what was said and reflecting back - like a mirror - the speaker's feelings and nonverbal communication.


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6 Steps of Reflection

1. Listen for the presence of feeling words in the person's message.

2. Watch the nonverbal behavior while the verbal message is being delivered.

3. Reflect the feelings back to the person, using different words.

4. Start the reflection with an appropriate sentence stem.

5. Add the context or the situation around which the feelings occur.

6. Assess the effectiveness of the reflection.


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Reflection Activity

• Read Handout, “Scenario for Reflection Exercise”

• Answer the questions, using the six-step model as a guide.


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Summarization

• A summarization is a collection of two or more paraphrases or reflections that condenses a speaker's messages during a conversation.


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5 Steps of Summarization

1. Recall the major issue or series of issues discussed.

2. Identify any patterns or themes. 3. Select an appropriate beginning or sentence

stem. 4. Select words to describe the theme or tie

together multiple elements and verbalize this as the summarization.

5. Assess the effectiveness of your summarization.


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Facilitator: "I'm feeling really struck by all that you have told me about the losses you as a family have experienced in the past year. You've experienced the death of four close relatives; Mr. P lost his job and accepted a new position in Illinois; and you moved here to a strange place away from friends and family. It's no mystery to me why you, Mr. and Mrs. Peters, have been having difficulty managing Jimmy's behavior. Jimmy and each of you must be missing your relatives and your old home and grieving deeply."


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Active Listening

• Active listening is a search for the listener's meaning and what is important to him or her.


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Verbal Communication Skills

• Open-ended and Closed-ended Questions

• Redirecting

• Referencing Back

• Giving Positive Reinforcement

• Encouraging Different Points of View


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Questions

• Closed-ended questions define a topic and restrict the person's response to a few words or a simple yes or no answer.


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Questions (Cont’d)

• Open-ended questions allow the person to answer in his or her own way and to expand on an answer, expressing what seems most relevant or important.


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Guidelines for Use Of Questions

• After asking a question, use a pause to give the person sufficient time to respond.

• Ask only one question at a time.

• Avoid accusatory or antagonistic questions.

• Do not ask leading questions.

• Don’t overuse questions.


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Closed or Open Responses?

1. "Did your mother ask you to talk with me about the problem you had with the principal?"

2. "What ideas can you think of to meet this need?"

3. "What do others think about that?" 4. "When is your next court date" 5. "Does everyone agree that these are

the top three priorities?"


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Redirecting

• Redirecting invites group members to respond to questions or comments that were directed to the facilitator.

• Examples: – "What do the rest of you think about that?"– "Someone else must have a response to

that."– "That's a good question. Let's toss that out to

the whole team. What do team members think?"


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Referencing Back

• Referencing back is referring back to something a person said earlier for the purposes of enhancing the discussion and tying participant's ideas to one another.

• Examples:– "That may relate to what Jim said earlier, Jim

what do you think about that?"– "That sounds like the idea suggested by Pat

and Debbie earlier in the meeting. How do the two ideas tie together?"


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Giving Positive Reinforcement

• Responding positively to efforts made by members of a group to speak out is one way to encourage people to take risks in the meeting

• Balance your efforts and be genuine without being repetitious, distracting, or manipulative


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Encouraging Different Points of View

• Avoid “Climbing Aboard”– Does everyone seem to be agreeing early in

the discussion?– Ask for different or opposing opinions.


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Verbal Barriers to Effective Communication

• Usually have an immediate negative effect upon communication

• Usually prevent participants from sharing pertinent information and working on issues.


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Nonverbal Communication

• Attentiveness - listening with all the senses

• Eye contact

• Voice, including tone, inflection and pace

• Facial expressions and gestures

• Silence


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• Attentiveness

• Eye contact - looking at the speaker's eyes and face in a relaxed manner

• Voice, including tone, inflection and pace

• Facial expressions and gestures

• Silence


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• Attentiveness • Eye contact - looking at the speaker's eyes and

face in a relaxed manner• Voice

– Tone – the pitch of the voice and the emotional overtones

– Pitch - The way the tone of the voice varies when speaking

– Pace - How fast or slow a person speaks• Facial expressions and gestures• Silence


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• Attentiveness • Eye contact - looking at the speaker's eyes and

face in a relaxed manner• Voice

– Tone – the pitch of the voice and the emotional overtones

– Pitch - The way the tone of the voice varies when speaking

– Pace - How fast or slow a person speaks• Facial expressions and gestures• Silence


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Including Quieter Participants in a Meeting

What are the reasons someone might be hesitant to speak up?


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Techniques to Balance Participation

• Use a direct, but gentle approach.

• Ask everyone in the group to respond to the same question.

• Refer back to comments made earlier by quieter participants.

• If there are several quieter members, invite those people to participate,


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Active Listening Exercise

1. Divide into groups of three2. Review the Nelson Family scenario3. Pick a role

• Facilitator, • Juanita • Observer

4. Role play an initial meeting (10 minutes)• Identify Juanita’s strengths• Break down the strengths into functional

components5. Observer provide feedback / Rotate roles


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Assertive Communication

• Assertive communication is the sharing of one's needs and concerns while respecting the needs of the other persons involved.


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"I"-Messages

• "I"-messages are a method of expressing one's feelings without evaluating or blaming.


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"I"-Message Formula

• I feel ______________

• When you ____________(specific behavior)

• Because _____________(personal consequence)


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Assertive Communication Activity

1. Pick a partner and find a place where you all can sit comfortably

2. Read the “Assertive Communication Scenarios”

3. Select two scenarios to role play as facilitators (10 minutes each), using “I-Messages”:

• Confront the negative behavior (facilitator)• Respond defensively (partner)• Use Active Listening to try to identify the

problem and come up with possible solutions (facilitator)


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Feedback Principles

• Describe rather than evaluate

• Be specific instead of general

• Time it

• Focus on what can be changed


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Feedback Principles (Cont’d)

• Solicit feedback rather than impose it

• Check the feedback

• Demonstrate caring


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Eight Step Feedback Process

1. Ask permission to offer feedback.

2. Describe specifically what you are observing.


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Eight Step Feedback Process (Cont’d)

3. Tell them about the direct impact of their actions.

4. Give the other person(s) an opportunity to explain.


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Eight Step Feedback Process

5. Draw out ideas from others.

6. Offer specific suggestions for improvement.

7. Summarize and express your support.

8. Follow up.


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Enhancing the Effectiveness of Your Feedback

• Openers to feedback– “I’d like to give you input about…” – “I have a concern about…"– "I have information that I think you might be interested

in."– "I'd like to make a suggestion, if you're interested.“

• Examples of feedback statements– "Instead of _______, it would be better if you _____."– "When you __________, I sense that you are not

___________."– "I'd like to propose that we try ____________ rather

than trying to ___________."


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Summary - Communication

• Questions

• Concerns

Documents

Illinois Department of Children and Family Services, Pathways to Strengthening and Supporting Families Program April 18, 2010 Division of Service Support,