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Funeral & Burial Instructions We have gathered this material to help you and your family prepare in advance. It will enable your family and our parish clergy to understand your wishes and preferences. e clergy will help plan the service and will stand ready to assist you and your family in any way. A member of the clergy should be notified when death is imminent and the Church’s Last Rites are desired, and immediately of a death. e Christian Witness about Death and Burial “I am the resurrection and the life, saith the Lord; he that believeth in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live; and whosoever liveth and believeth in me shall not die.” John 11:25 From the beginning of the Church’s life, Christian burial has been an important and integral part of the life of the local Christian community. e death and resurrection of Jesus Christ put an end to the power of death; thus followers of Jesus believe that death is but the entrance to new and eternal life with the Lord. We wait in joyful expectation for the resurrection of the dead and for the body which awaits that resurrection. us Christians show a proper respect and treat the body with great dignity. Christian burial is marked by three characteristics: First and foremost, it is an act of worship wherein we glorify God for the giſt of eternal life offered in Jesus Christ our Lord. Second, it is a commitment of the one we love to the mercies of God in the faith that He will preserve in peace those who have died in the faith of Christ. ird, it is a time when members of the Body of Christ gather in the context of worship to comfort one another and to offer mutual assurance of God’s abiding love. e liturgy is an offering in which joy and sorrow are mixed, for while we say an earthly farewell, we know that the dead live in Christ. e Holy Eucharist is most appropriate at the burial of a Christian, for in Holy Communion we “proclaim the Lord’s death until he comes.” (I Corinthians 11:26). e earliest records of Christian burial tell us that the following elements were included: Prayer in the home before the burial took place A gathering of the community for a burial service, consisting of thanksgivings, psalms, hymns, readings from the scripture, and prayers for the departed and those who mourn Celebration of the Holy Eucharist A procession of lights and torches to the place of burial e burial of the body As part of the preparation for Christian burial, the faithful are urged to counsel with members of the clergy. It is also of great benefit to read about the service in e Book of Common Prayer (BCP, 468–490). e rubrics on these pages are of particular interest. It is also recommended that people familiarize themselves with the prayers for “Ministration at the Time of Death” (BCP, 462–467).

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Page 1: Funeral Burial Instructions… · Funeral & Burial Instructions. We have gathered this material to help you and your family prepare in advance. It will enable your family and our

Funeral & Burial InstructionsWe have gathered this material to help you and your family prepare in advance. It will enable your family and our parish clergy to understand your wishes and preferences. The clergy will help plan the service and will stand ready to assist you and your family in any way. A member of the clergy should be notified when death is imminent and the Church’s Last Rites are desired, and immediately of a death.

The Christian Witness about Death and Burial

“I am the resurrection and the life, saith the Lord; he that believeth in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live; and whosoever liveth and believeth in me shall not die.”

John 11:25

From the beginning of the Church’s life, Christian burial has been an important and integral part of the life of the local Christian community. The death and resurrection of Jesus Christ put an end to the power of death; thus followers of Jesus believe that death is but the entrance to new and eternal life with the Lord. We wait in joyful expectation for the resurrection of the dead and for the body which awaits that resurrection. Thus Christians show a proper respect and treat the body with great dignity.

Christian burial is marked by three characteristics: • Firstandforemost,itisanactofworshipwhereinweglorifyGodforthegiftofeternallifeofferedinJesusChrist

our Lord. • Second,itisacommitmentoftheonewelovetothemerciesofGodinthefaiththatHewillpreserveinpeace

those who have died in the faith of Christ. • Third,itisatimewhenmembersoftheBodyofChristgatherinthecontextofworshiptocomfortoneanother

andtooffermutualassuranceofGod’sabidinglove.Theliturgyisanofferinginwhichjoyandsorrowaremixed,forwhilewesayanearthlyfarewell,weknowthatthedeadliveinChrist.TheHolyEucharistismostappropriateattheburialofaChristian,forinHolyCommunionwe“proclaimtheLord’sdeathuntilhecomes.”(ICorinthians11:26).

The earliest records of Christian burial tell us that the following elements were included:• Prayerinthehomebeforetheburialtookplace• Agatheringofthecommunityforaburialservice,consistingofthanksgivings,psalms,hymns,readingsfromthe

scripture, and prayers for the departed and those who mourn • CelebrationoftheHolyEucharist• Aprocessionoflightsandtorchestotheplaceofburial• Theburialofthebody

As part of the preparation for Christian burial, the faithful are urged to counsel with members of the clergy. It is also of great benefit to read about the service in The Book of Common Prayer (BCP,468–490).Therubricsonthesepagesareofparticularinterest.Itisalsorecommendedthatpeoplefamiliarizethemselveswiththeprayersfor“MinistrationattheTimeofDeath”(BCP,462–467).

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Funeral & Burial InstructionsIn the X Name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost,

I ____________________________________

on this day,

__________________________,

do solemnly make these instructions and desires known concerning my death and burial.

Note: Please file this information where it will be found easily upon your death. It is suggested that you file a copy of your instructions with The Church of the Incarnation and/or your attorney and notify your heirs that this form has been completed for their information.

Personal and Family Information

________________________________________________________________________

Full Name

________________________________________________________________________ Address

________________________________________________________________________City, State, Zip

________________________________________________________________________Date of Birth

________________________________________________________________________Place of Birth

________________________________________________________________________Date of Baptism

Date of Confirmation ________________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________

Spouse’s Full Name

________________________________________________________________________ Address

________________________________________________________________________City, State, Zip

________________________________________________________________________Date of Birth

________________________________________________________________________Place of Birth

________________________________________________________________________Date of Baptism

Date of Confirmation ________________________________________________________________________

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Father’s Full Name ________________________________________________________________________

Date/PlaceofBirth_____________________________________ Living Yes No

Mother’sFullName ________________________________________________________________________

Date/PlaceofBirth_____________________________________ Living Yes No

Names, addresses, and telephone numbers of living brothers and sisters:

__________________________________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________________________________

Names, addresses, and telephone numbers of persons to notify upon my death:

__________________________________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________________________________

Occupation ____________________________________________________________

Employer ____________________________________________________________

Date of last executed will ____________________________________________________________

Location of will ____________________________________________________________

Representative’s name and address ____________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________________________________

For additional information regarding my assets, please refer to____________________________________________

Location ___________________________________________________________________________________

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Funeral Scheduling

FuneralsandmemorialserviceswillnotbescheduledonSundays,onIndependenceDay,ThanksgivingDay,ChristmasEve,ChristmasDay,NewYear’sDay,AshWednesday,MaundyThursday,GoodFriday,HolySaturday,orEasterDay.Serviceswillbescheduledduringregularoperatinghours,MondaythroughThursdaybetween10amand3pm,andonFridayandSaturdaybetween10amand12noon.

While the pastoral needs of the family are considered paramount, it must be understood that the church calendar includes worship services, classes, and other events throughout the year. There is often a delay of several days between time of death and the funeral or memorial service.

Under no circumstances will a funeral or memorial service be scheduled before the time of death.

Pastoral Support

Attimeofdeaththeclergymakeeveryefforttoprovideappropriatepastoralcareandsupport.Pleasedonothesitatetorequest a pastoral visit.

Printed Program

ChurchoftheIncarnationproducestheprintedorderofservice(leaflet)fortheBurialOfficeorRequiem.Printedordersof service may not include photographs or any printed text within the context of the liturgy which does not meet with thefullapprovaloftheclergy.Spacepermitting,abriefmessagefromthefamilyregardingareceptionormemorialgiftswill be included.

Remembrances and Homily

Intheburialoffice,ahomilyispreachedbyaclericorauthorizedlaypreacher.Pleaselimitremembrancesoreulogiestoamaximumoftwopeopleinadditiontothishomily.Remembrancesofferedbyfriendsorfamilymembersofthedeceasedshould be no more than three minutes in length.

Photography and Media Coverage

Nophotography(videoorstill)ispermittedduringfuneralandmemorialservices.Intheeventthedeceasedwasapublicfigure and media express interest in covering the service, the Communications Department will manage the logistics of media relations.

Arrival for the Funeral

Membersofthefamilyoranypersonswhohaveactiveorspeakingrolesintheservice,areaskedtoarrivenolaterthan30 minutes prior to the scheduled funeral or memorial time. Arrangements for a private gathering area for family members priortotheservicearemadethroughtheFrontOfficeManager.

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Liturgy InstructionsThetraditionoftheChurch,whichAnglicansandEpiscopalianshavereceived,isthatbaptizedChristiansarenormallyburied from the church directly following the service. The Book of Common Prayer indicates, and the burial liturgy assumes, thatthebodyistobepresent(althoughtheBurialOfficeoraRequiemmaytakeplacewithoutthebody).Whenthebodyorcrematedremainsispresent,thecoffinisclosedandthecoffinorurnisalwayscoveredbyapall,whichthechurchwillprovide.

I request that my service be conducted at the following church (name, city and state of church):

__________________________________________________________________________________________

or at_______________________________________________________________________________________.

The rector or clergy of said congregation shall be in charge of the services.

TheBurialoftheDead(seepages469–487inThe Book of Common Prayer 1979) is a series of psalms, lessons, and prayers andisoftenknownsimplyastheBurialOffice.TheHolyEucharistismostappropriateatthedeathofaChristian.WhencombinedwiththeBurialOffice,theserviceisknownasaRequiemEucharist.

I request (check one):

Rite I (traditional language) Rite II (contemporary language)

Burial Office (no Holy Communion) Requiem Eucharist

Note: If Rite II and a Requiem, Eucharistic Prayer A is used.

General Service Information

Location (check all that apply) Church MemorialChapel Other _______________________________ GravesideOnly Incarnation service &Graveside

Body or Remains CasketPresent UrnPresent NoBodyorremainspresent

Specific requests regarding Altar flowers

__________________________________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________________________________

Requested Musicians__________________________________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________________________________

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Requested Ushers ________________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________

Requested Lay Servers (a crucifer and two torchbearers are the usual minimum) ________________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________

Requested Pallbearers ________________________________________________________________________

________________________________________________________________________

Scripture Lessons

BelowisanoutlineofhowmanyreadingsmaybeusedataBurialOfficeorRequiem,aswellasalistoftheoptionsineachcategoryofferedbyThe Book of Common Prayer.Pleasechecktheselectionsthatyouwouldliketouse.AlllessonsarereadfromtheRevisedStandardVersionoftheBible,andthepsalmtextsarefromThe Book of Common Prayer.

PleasenotethatataRequiemEucharist,thefinalreading(whethertherearetwoorthreelessons)mustbefromtheGospeland is read by a member of the clergy. All other lessons may be read by friends or family members.

At a Requiem Eucharist TwoLessonsandaPsalm

1. Lesson from the Old Testament or New Testament2. Psalm(readinunisonorsungbythechoir)3. LessonfromtheGospel(readbyadeaconorpriest)

ThreeLessonsandaPsalm1. Lesson from the Old Testament 2. Psalm(readinunisonorsungbythechoir)3. LessonfromtheNewTestament4. LessonfromtheGospel(readbyadeaconorpriest)

At the Burial Office TwoLessonsandaPsalm

1. Lesson from the Old Testament or New Testament2. Psalm(readinunisonorsungbythechoir)3. LessonfromtheNewTestamentortheGospel

ThreeLessonsandaPsalm1. Lesson from the Old Testament 2. Psalm(readinunisonorsungbythechoir)3. LessonfromtheNewTestament4. LessonfromtheGospel

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First Lesson(Ifthreelessons,thefirstmustbefromtheOldTestament)

Isaiah25:6–9(Hewillswallowupdeathinvictory) Isaiah61:1–3(Tocomfortallthatmourn) Lamentations3:22–26,31–33(TheLordisgooduntothemthatwaitforhim) Wisdom3:1–5,9(ThesoulsoftherighteousareinthehandofGod) Job19:21–27a(IknowthatmyRedeemerliveth) Romans8:14–19,34–35,37–39(Theglorythatshallberevealed) 1Corinthians15:20–26,35–38,42–44,53–58(Raisedinincorruption) 2Corinthians4:16—5:9(Thingswhicharenotseenareeternal) 1John3:1–2(Weshallbelikehim) Revelation7:9–17(Godshallwipeawayalltears) Revelation21:2–7(Behold,Imakeallthingsnew) Other Reading ______________________________________________________ Additional Information: _______________________________________________

Psalm 23(TheLordismyshepherd) 27(TheLordismylightandmysalvation) 42(Likeasthehartdesireththewater-brooks) 46(Godisourhopeandstrength) 90(Lord,thouhastbeenourrefuge) 106(OgivethanksuntotheLord,forheisgracious) 116(MydelightisintheLord) 121(Iwillliftupmineeyesuntothehills) 130(OutofthedeephaveIcalleduntothee,OLord) 139(OLord,thouhastsearchedmeout,andknownme) Other Reading ______________________________________________________ Additional Information: _______________________________________________

Second Lesson Yes No

Romans8:14–19,34–35,37–39(Theglorythatshallberevealed) 1Corinthians15:20–26,35–38,42–44,53–58(Raisedinincorruption) 2Corinthians4:16—5:9(Thingswhicharenotseenareeternal) 1John3:1–2(Weshallbelikehim) Revelation7:9–17(Godshallwipeawayalltears) Revelation21:2–7(Behold,Imakeallthingsnew) Other Reading ______________________________________________________ Additional Information: _______________________________________________

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Gospel At a Requiem Eucharist, the Gospel must be read by a cleric.

John5:24–27(Hethatbelievethhatheverlastinglife) John6:37–40(AllthattheFathergivethmeshallcometome) John10:11–16(Iamthegoodshepherd) John11:21–27(Iamtheresurrectionandthelife) John14:1–6(InmyFather’shousearemanymansions) Other Reading ______________________________________________________ Additional Information: _______________________________________________

I would like the following persons to read lessons at the service:

1. _________________________________________________

2. _________________________________________________

Service Music

Musicselectionsaremadebythefamilyincollaborationwithamemberoftheclergyandtheorganist.AnyrequestforchoralorotherinstrumentalmusicmustbemadetoandapprovedbytheDirectorofMusic.Familiesareaskedtobearinmindthattheburialofficeisaworshipserviceandthereforeonlysacredmusicispermitted.

TwoorthreehymnsareusuallysungataservicewithoutHolyEucharistwhilethreeor fourhymnsmaybesungataRequiemEucharist.

Ifthefamilywishestoengageoutsidemusicians,theymustbeapprovedbytheDirectorofMusicortheRector.

Pleaseseefuneralmusicschedulefeeattheconclusionofthisdocument.

Will there be music? Yes No

Organist Yes No

Choir Yes No

Additional Instrumentalist Yes No

Name ____________________________________________

Soloist Yes No

Name ____________________________________________

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Additional Options with a Choir

Psalm (between the readings) Sung Recited

Offertory (choral anthem) And I saw a new heaven,EdgarBainton My shepherd will supply my need,VirgilThomson Jesu, Joy of Man’s Desiring,J.S.Bach

Communion (choral motet(s)) Ave verum corpus,W.A.Mozart Ave verum corpus,WilliamByrd Ave verum corpus,EdwardElgar Thou Knowest Lord,HenryPurcell

The Commendation The Choir may sing the Commendation foundonpage482ofThe Book of Common Prayer.

Suggested Hymns

208 Thestrifeiso’er,thebattledone287 Forallthesaints,whofromtheirlaborsrest358 Christ,theVictorious362 Holy,holy,holy!LordGodAlmighty!473 Lifthighthecross482 Lordofallhopefulness,Lordofalljoy516 Come down, O Love divine522 Gloriousthingsoftheearespoken608 EternalFather,strongtosave618 Yewatchersandyeholyones620 Jerusalem,myhappyhome624 Jerusalemthegolden625 Ye holy angels bright645 TheKingoflovemyshepherdis653 DearLordandFatherofmankind657 Lovedivine,alllovesexcelling662 Abide with me671 Amazinggrace!howsweetthesound680 OGod,ourhelpinagespast688 AmightyfortressisourGod690 Guideme,OthougreatJehovah

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Opening Hymn ____________________

Additional Information _______________________________________________________

Hymn before the Gospel _____________ Additional Information _______________________________________________________

Offertory Hymn ___________________

Additional Information _______________________________________________________

Communion Hymn _________________

Additional Information _______________________________________________________

Final Hymn _______________________

Additional Information _______________________________________________________

Burial Instructions

I prefer to be:

Buried Location of cemetery plot deed, crypt deed, columbarium contract

____________________________________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________________________________

Coffinspecifications: Least expensive Mid-range Elaborate

Cremated BeforeFuneral AfterFuneral

AshesmaybeplacedinIncarnation’sMemorialColumbarium(Nichesmaybepurchasedinadvance.)PleasecontacttheBusinessOfficeat(214)521-5101formoreinformation.

Donate entire body or certain organs Arrangements have been made I want my family to make the appropriate arrangements.

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Comments regarding burial instructions:__________________________________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________________________________

Place of burial ______________________________________________________________________________

Full address ______________________________________________________________________________

I prefer the following funeral home:

_______________________________________________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________________________________________

I do Idonot wishtohavemycoffinopenforaviewingattheFuneralHome.

Inlieuofflowers,Irequestthatdonationsbemadeinmynameto(listnameandaddressofinstitutionorcharity):

__________________________________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________________________________

“KnowingthatallthegiftswehavecomefromGod,itisimportantforallparishionerstomakeprudentprovisionsfortheir families, to prepare wills while they are in good health, and to arrange for the disposal of their temporal goods not neglecting,iftheyareable,toleavebequestsforreligiousandcharitableuses.”—The Book of Common Prayer,page445

We hope that parishioners will give serious consideration in the preparations of their wills to include a bequest to the ChurchoftheIncarnationthroughtheIncarnationFoundation.PleasecontacttheIncarnationFoundationbycallingtheparishofficeat(214)521-5101.

Other information that I wish to note for my survivors:

__________________________________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________________________________________________

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In the X Name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost,

Signature____________________________________________________ Date____________________

Please return completed packet to: Front Office Manager

Church of the Incarnation3966 McKinney Avenue

Dallas, Texas 75204

Be sure to keep a copy of your completed packet for your own records.

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Funeral Fee Schedule

Music

Organist: $200VocalSoloist: $150ProfessionalChoir(10singers): $1200(additionalfeesapply;pleaseconsultwithmusicdepartment)FullChoir: $1700(additionalfeesapply;pleaseconsultwithmusicdepartment)

AllmusicianstakingpartintheservicemustbeapprovedbytheDirectorofMusic.

Thereisanadditionalfeeof$75foranyrehearsalnecessarywiththeorganist.

Paymentisduethedayoftheservice.

Other Potential Fees

Fees for use of Sound System at a Reception: SoundTechFee: $150 *Family must provide a flash drive with music and/or photos.

A/VintheGreatHall:Videofilesshouldbeformattedinmp4or.mov.Audioandmusicfilesshouldbeformattedin.mp3,orloadedontoaCDoriPod.

It is best to export any presentation to .mov in order to eliminate any compatibility issues.

AnyGreatHallmedianeedsrequire48hoursadvancenotice.A/VmaterialtobeusedintheGreatHallmustalsobereceived48hoursinadvanceinorderforthematerialtobeuploadedandtestedpriortothereception.

LeafletsAnaddional$.15perleafletwillbechargedforspecializedleafletsthatdonotfitthestandardtemplate.

Clergy HonorariumsIt is customary, but not required, for the officiating priest to receive an honorarium.The suggested amount is aminimumof$250madepayabletothepriestandpresentedonthedayoftheservice.

SecuritySecurityisprovidedwhendeemednecessaryforafeeof$120fora4-hourminimum.

Please note, these rates are subject to change and can only be guaranteed at the time a funeral is scheduled.

Last revised: September 1, 2015

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