Foster Families: Communication Emphases 

Kellie ReichertSPCH 1770- Family Communications

Introduction    Foster families must hold emphases on certain aspects of communication in order to meet the special needs of in coming foster children as well as maintain their immediate family system.

    

    In the following slides we will explore important points and periods in the span of a child's stay in a foster home and cover which communication patterns are commonly practiced by those directly involved.

To foster or not to foster?

All family members should be involved in the decision to become a foster family, including children.  (Craft)

To be a good foster family you must have an open family type:• movable use of space• variable use of time• flexible use of energy

(Galvin, Bylund, & Brommel, p. 175)

There are specific rules that must be set in place to prepare your children for foster siblings. Teach them:1. about space,• not to ask questions right away,• the importance of role modeling

good behavior,• about good touch and bad touch, • that you will listen to

concerns, and• that you will keep things as fair as

possible.(Craft)

The Arrival "When a foster child is first placed in your home a lot of fear and stress comes through the front door along with the foster child..." (Craft)

Parent(s)commonly feel insecure and worrisome on the 1st day. So,• must establish role as parent immediately when foster child arrives.

-meet needs,-set boundaries, -discipline • be honest- foster child may have many ?'s. If you don't know the answer, do

not fabricate one risking the loss of the child's trust.

Foster Child• will be afraid, anxious, and confused on the first day • may have suffered from abuse, neglect, abandonment, or death of

parent(s)• will most likely be in a state of shock

During Child's Stay

Child GriefOne of the main struggles of foster families is dealing with a grieving child.

                      

Depending on which stage in this cycle the child is experiencing, the family will face a corresponding issue.

During Child's Stay (continued)

Marriage

Fostering can be very hard on a marriage.  The primary foster parent becomes enveloped in their foster children's lives and thus neglect their spouse. 

Relational maintenance in the marriage is crucial to keep it afloat when providing foster care.

~ ~ ~

"If by working to help a family we lose our own, we really don't accomplish much, do we?"

During Child's Stay (continued)

TrustPerhaps the most important aspect of foster family communication

^||

after time, foster child will be able to break through barriers to develop trust in an adult. i.e. birth family, removal, and foster home experiences

child will show change in behavior indicating a growing trust

--or depending on interactions with adult see next slide, may decide to give up

Child's search for trust is driven by a need to belong.

During Child's Stay (continued)

Caring Behaviors

Feeling Wanted

Creating Safety

• say i'll be safe• say i'm protected• love between

foster parents• no physical,

verbal or sexual abuse

• consistent actions

• congruent words and actions

• care for me no matter what

• it's a feeling

Doing Things

• food is readily available

• hold my hand• read stories• take for walks• discipline• advocate

Take an interest

• ask questions• inquire about

my thoughts, feelings and opinions

• listen to me• validate me• talk to me• give me

guidance• patience

 

 

The Goodbye It's time for the foster child to     a) move to a new foster home,         b) reunite with birth family, or     c) move in with adoptive family.

This may be a difficult transition for child and also foster parents.  Change and instability can be traumatic for a foster child, and if the foster parent(s) did the job right, then a bond will have formed, and a sad goodbye will ensue. 

Separation anxiety may set in.• keep communication  open- talk about

feelings about new placement• be positive about impending change• assure that this change does not mean and end

to the relationship• follow through• be there.

Conclusion

Foster Family Communication Emphases:• open family type communicating- decision making, family

meetings• nurturing, providing a safe-feeling environment• dealing with behavior probems• dealing with child grief• relational maintenance in marriage• trust• trust• trust• separation anxiety

CitationsCraft, Carrie. All About Foster Care and Foster Parenting. Retrieved from          <http://adoption.about.com/od/fostering/u/foster_care.htm>.

Galvin, Kathleen M., Carma L. Bylund, and Bernard J. Brommel. Family            Communication: Cohesion and Change. 8th ed. Glenview: Pearson            Education, 2012. Print.

"The Kids." Foster Family Care Network. Foster Care Network, 2011. Web. 27 Oct. 2011.            <http://fosterfamilycarenetwork.com/News.html>. 

Coleman, Michele H. "A Chance For Change: The Role of Trust in Foster Care."Scholar.lib.vt.edu. May 2000. Web.              2 Nov. 2011. <http://scholar.lib.vt.edu/theses/available/etd-06282000-10320022/unrestricted/Coleman.pdf>.