7/31/2019 Ethan Mallove's victim impact statement
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Victim Impact Statementby Ethan Mallove (son of Eugene
Mallove)
June 11, 2012
After a vicious beating that left my father dead, a seven year
homicide investigation, pretrial
hearings, several weeks of jury selection and trial - I am
offered a few minutes to tell the courtwhat it's all been like.
Every moment of despair, every anger-filled day, all the lost time,
the
unanswered questions, the permanent psychological scars -
squeezed into a few paragraphs.
I detest having to write this. The idea that one could describe
the full impact of this revolting
crime is unreasonable. It colors all aspects of my life, though
none of it can be measured. If
only there were a way to gauge the pain caused by this crime, a
way to assess the damage.
How many conversations could my dad have had, which have been
taken away? How many
visits over the holidays? How many trips to see his
grandchildren? And Im only a secondary
victim. The real victim is my dad. We cant ask my dad what he
had planned to do with the rest
of his life, and what would be the cost of erasing all of
it.
The stress it's put on my family is enormous. Its taken a huge
toll on the trust I have in others.
The perception I have of the world has been changed. My
pessimism has increased, my ability
to experience joy has decreased. And all of the suffering
transfers to those close to me, which
transfers to those close to them, and so on. There is a ripple
effect.
My father was brilliant, kind, and good-natured. It seemed he
could talk to anyone aboutanything. The local bookstore was his
home away from home, and he spent every idle momentreading about
history, science, and technology. At 56, he was at the peak of his
intellectualprime, with an extraordinary knowledge-base. A lifetime
of study had prepared him forresearching and documenting difficult
questions in science. As a talented scientist and writer,he had
absolutely zero inclination towards violence, and was a defenseless
target for someonebent on assaulting people.
My father was a companion, best friend, and essential life
support system for my mother.
Without him, she was an amputee. She and my dad had spent a
lifetime - 34 years - building
their marriage, weathering hardships together. They worked and
planned their whole lives for
a pleasant retirement. They had just moved into a one floor
house that they could grow old in
together. They loved being together. After my dad was murdered,
my mom said she felt like
she was living in a tomb. Having to manage the affairs of her
two sick and elderly parents and
mother-in-law, and her full-time job - all while dealing with an
ongoing homicide investigation
and the trauma of the murder - eventually took a heavy toll on
her health, and destroyed her
spirit. I watched her read the autopsy report. She cried and
said, "who would do this?" Shealways weeps when she talked about
what happened to my dad. Today, she often tears up
when she talks about my dad, and desperately wishes he was still
alive. She is now unable to
live alone, drive a car, and have normal social connections.
At the time of his murder, my father had been caring for his
grandmother, Gladys. He had
rented her an apartment next to his office, where he could visit
and tend to her everyday.
Gladys never had a chance to speak with or say goodbye to her
only son. She died alone and
