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Emotional Eating:An Integrative Perspective
By Ying Yu, MS, CN, CHCJanuary 10, 2012
(206)[email protected]
Copyright © 2012
Learning Objectives:
• Remove stigma around emotional eating
• Identify biochemical factors that contribute to emotional eating
• Assess for amino acid and nutrient deficiencies that contribute to neuro-chemical dysregulation.
• Recognize the emotional and psychological factors that contribute to emotional eating
• Help clients move from emotionally-avoidant eating to emotionally-attuned eating
Definition
• Commonly accepted definition: • EE is any eating that is done in
response to an emotion rather than to physical hunger.
Evolution
• Pleasure from eating is built into our DNA for survival. Otherwise we wouldn’t eat.
• Powerful neurotransmitters and endorphins are released every time we put something in our mouths.
• This process starts from birth the minute we are fed by a caregiver – we are instantly soothed.
• Impossible to separate food from emotions.
Complex Relationship
with Food• Food chronicles our lives from birth till death
• Part of our identity on the individual, familial, cultural, racial, and spiritual/religious levels.
• Food affects our emotions, and we make emotional decisions about food we eat
• We are what we eat AND we eat what we are.
• It connects us with nature and the seasons.
“Emotional Eating” Label
• This is misleading and carries a negative connotation:• Implies that emotions should be
separate from eating.• Assumes that it’s all about will-power
and discipline, leading to guilt, shame, self-blame.
• Instills a fear of pleasure and hunger, both are normal processes in the body.
Remove the Stigma
• Normalize • We are all emotional
eaters (and food addicts)
• We’re designed to love food
• Remove “good” / “bad”
• Encourage learning, curiosity, self-awareness, and experimentation.
So when did this
relationship go awry?
Our Changing Food Supply
• When our environment changes, and we are no longer connected with our natural rhythms and those of nature, our health and appetites go awry.
• Historically, what was available were whole foods eaten locally and seasonally. Refined and rich foods were associated with the wealthy.
• Today, due to cheap food processing methods and food transport systems, junk food is affordable and available to all socioeconomic levels.
Our Changing Food Supply
• We simply eat what’s available to us.
• No one is exempt from addictive, imbalanced eating.
Our Changing Food Supply
Eating whole foods is in harmony with our evolution:• Our hunger-satiety signals and pleasure-reward system are
designed to respond to food in its whole form, balanced in macro- and micronutrients essential to our health.
• Eating naturally stimulates release of pleasure-generating neurotransmitters without causing imbalance.
Eating refined Foods is not:• Once food becomes refined, we are all vulnerable to food
addiction. (Joel Fuhrman, 2011)• Modern processing creates food with concentrated levels of
refined carbohydrates and unhealthy fats without redeeming levels of proteins, fibers, micronutrients, and phytonutrients.
• Consumption of large quantities of these foods hijacks the brain’s reward system, causing systemic functional dysregulation.
Our Changing Culture
Since the 1950s:
• We spend more time in cars, at our desks, in front of our computers.
• We watch on average 4 hours of tv per day, replete with tempting tv commercials for processed foods.
• We feed ourselves and our children fast and convenience foods, out of cans, boxes, and microwaves.
• There are more two-income households, leaving children to feed themselves with whatever is available.
Finding the Root Cause
• U.S. Statistics:• Early 1900s - Only 1 in 150 people were obese• 1950s – 9.7% obese, 33% overweight• Today – 34% obese (17% age 2-19), 75% overweight
• Is it really that we’re intrinsically “lazy,” “incompetent,” “ignorant,” and “undisciplined?”
• Or could our changing food supply be changing how our brains and bodies work?
• Could it be that we haven’t fully understood and respected how powerful food can be as a psychotropic chemical?
Food Addiction
Addiction Model to EE
• Growing body of scientific studies (over 1000 in the past decade) confirming that the brain reacts to some foods the same way it reacts to drugs or alcohol.
• Today, there is little doubt that food powerfully affects our brain chemistry.
Addiction Model to EE
“Fatty Foods Addictive as Cocaine in Growing Body of Science.” (Nov 3, 2011, Bloomberg Publications)• An article summarizing research from 28 scientific studies
published in 2011 alone. • Study: Brain scans of obese people and compulsive eaters
reveal disturbances in brain reward circuits similar to those experienced by drug abusers.• 26 overweight young women were given MRI scans as they
got sips of a milkshake made with Haagen-Dazs ice cream and Hershey Co.’s chocolate syrup. Six months later, the women who had gained weight showed reduced activity in the striatum, a region of the brain that registers reward, when they sipped milkshakes the second time. (Journal of Neuroscience).
Addiction Model to EE
• Refined and fatty foods can over-stimulate our reward center, thereby• Desensitizing the brain’s circuitry • Depleting our neurotransmitter reserves• Depleting key nutrients and cofactors needed for
neurotransmitter biosynthesis
• Blunted reward system and systemic depletion are exactly what happens in drug and alcohol addiction.
• This leads to depression, anxiety, impaired cognition, learning and memory, intense cravings and food addiction.
Legal Implications
Mortality rates of legal addictive substances (according to the CDC):
• Cigarette Smoke: ~443,000 deaths / year• Alcohol Use: ~38,000 deaths / year• Obesity-related Diseases: ~162,000 deaths / year
“This could change the legal landscape…If fatty foods and snacks and drinks sweetened with sugar and high fructose corn syrup are proven to be addictive, food companies may face the most drawn-out consumer safety battle since the anti-smoking movement took on the tobacco industry a generation ago.” (Bloomberg article)
Understanding How the Brain Works
The Neuroaxis
1. Brain Stem
• Sends neuromodulators such as dopamine and norepinephrine to ready one for action
• Keeps one energizes to reach goals, and rewards you with pleasure when they are reached
2. Diencephalon
• Thalamus and hypothalamus
• Switchboard for sensory information
• Directs automatic nervous system (SNS, PNS, ENS)
• Regulates endocrine system through HPAA
• Regulates primal drives (e.g., food, sex, water) and primal emotions (terror rage).
3. The Limbic System
• “The Emotional Brain;” central to emotion and motivation
• Includes basal ganglia, amygdala, hippocampus
• Basal Ganglia – involved in rewards, stimulation seeking, and movement
• Hippocampus – forms new memory, differentiates between real vs. perceived threats
• Amygdala – “alarm bell” that responds to charged emotions or negative stimuli
4. Cortex
• “New Brain;” higher level executive functions of organization, self-monitoring, and impulse control; can have inhibitory effect on the limbic system.
• Prefrontal Cortex (PFC) – sets goals, makes plans, directs action; shapes emotions, in part guiding and inhibiting the limbic system
• Anterior Cingulate Cortex – steadies attention and monitors plans; helps integrate thinking and feeling
• Insula - perception, motor control, self-awareness, cognitive functioning, and assessment of interpersonal experience.
Key Neurotransmitters
• Primary neurotransmitters:
• Glutamate – excites receiving neurons
• GABA – inhibits receiving neurons
Key Neurotransmitters
• Neuromodulators – influence primary neurotransmitters• Serotonin – regulates satiety, mood, sleep, digestion;
most antidepressants aim at increasing its effects
• Dopamine – involved with rewards and attention; promotes approach behaviors
• Norepinephrine – alerts and arouses; “fight or flight”
• Acetylcholine – promotes wakefulness, learning, and focus
Key Neurotransmitters
• Peptide neuromodulators
• Opioids – reduce pain and stress, produce pleasure (e.g., runner’s high); include endorphins
• Oxytocin – promotes nurturing behaviors toward children and bonding in couples; associated with blissful closeness and love; triggered by touch and food; women have more oxytocin than men.
Key Neurotransmitters
• Other neurochemicals:
• Cortisol – released by adrenals during fight-or-flight; stimulates the amygdala and inhibits the hippocampus.
• Estrogen – brains of both men and women contain estrogen receptors which affect libido, mood, and memory
Brain’s Reward System
• Purpose:• Facilitates learning of behaviors that
enhance the chance survival by producing pleasure
• Drives the avoidance of actual and potential threats through providing pain
Brain’s Reward System
Two-part process:
1. Dopamine – released when pleasure or reward is anticipated based on past experience
• Levels stay elevated if reward arrives• Levels drop if meet disappointment or discontentment,
and cravings ensue to restore previous high
2. Endorphins, oxytocin and norepinephrine – creates the pleasant feeling tones associated with actual/anticipated rewards
1. Released to strengthen behaviors that lead to attainment of reward (e.g. toddler learning to eat with a spoon)
The Effect of Food on
Brain Functioning
Food & Normal Brain Chemistry
• When we see food, dopamine is released in anticipation of pleasure
• Dopamine and endorphins are released when food is eaten
• Serotonin is released when we’ve had enough
• All these reinforce our eating behavior
Addictive Foods & Brain Chemistry
• These foods includes refined sugar and carbohydrates, unhealthy fats, caffeine, alcohol, food additives, food sensitivities, etc.
• Trigger over-arousal of the brain stem, diencephalon/SNS, and limbic system.• Floods the body with feel-good neurotransmitters and
cortisol• Eventually this leads to desensitized receptors and
diminished neurotransmitter pool
• Inhibits neural pathways in the cortex.
• Because these foods are very low in nutrient-density, there’s a deficiency in neural supportive micronutrients.
Cortisol & Energy Modulation
• Increases energy availability to cells
• Mobilizes glycogen and fat stores for fuel
• Conserve fat around abdomen
• Intensifies cravings for calorically dense foods
emotional eating.
Food, Cortisol, & The Brain
• Repeated SNS/HPAA activity sensitizes the limbic system, leading to hyper-arousal and anxiety
• Over-stimulates the amygdala, which reinforces implicit memories (subconscious impressions of threat), leading to generalized anxiety (ongoing anxiety regardless of the situation).
• Inhibits activation and new neuron formation in hippocampus, which encodes explicit memories (clear records of what actually happens).
Result?
• These foods numb parts of our brain and skew our perception of reality, thereby preventing us from forming new memories to replace old fears.
• In other words, these foods keep us stuck in old maladaptive patterns and coping behaviors; impedes us from adopting and maintaining healthy new behaviors.
• It is no wonder that we experience:• Reduced motivation• Decreased pleasure from food and activities• More depression, anxiety, and physical pain• More pleasure seeking behavior / addiction
• We know what to do but just can’t seem to do it.
Breaking the Vicious Addictive
Cycle
Breaking the Vicious Cycle
Goal is to quiet the SNS and nourish the PNS.
Parasympathetic Nervous System:• Normal resting state of body, brain, and
mind• Enables cool, calm decision-making• Fosters tranquility and enables insight• Restores a more natural rise and fall in
pleasure neurotransmitter levels• Enables more activity in the cortex
Breaking the Vicious Cycle
1. Eating in harmony with nature and balance blood sugar
2. Manage detoxification and withdrawal symptoms to restore true hunger
3. Replenish amino acids and micronutrients needed for healthy neurotransmitters modulation
1. Eat in Harmony
Eat nutrient-dense foods in the right ratios - healthy plate model
• Roughly 20g lean protein at each meal with 1-2 cups of colorful vegetables
• Eat food in its whole form• Eat locally and seasonally whenever
possible
Balanced Macronutrients
15%
55%
30%
Macronutrients - Recommended Percentage of Daily Calories
Lean ProteinsComplex Car-bohydratesHealthy Fats
Current Trends
62.00%25.50%
12.50%
U.S. Food Consumption by Calories
Refined and processed foodsDairy and animal foodFruits, vegetables, beans, nuts, seeds, and whole grains
Optimal Micronutrients
• Health = Nutrients/Calories (Eat to Live, Dr. Joel Fuhrman)
• Food loses nutrients every step of processing.
• Continuum:• Unrefined/Whole • Partially Processed • Fortified • Refined
• The more refined a food is, the higher its addictive potential.
Anti-inflammatory Plate
2/3
1/6
1/6
Food Groups by Surface Area of Plate
VegetablesProteinGrains
“What if all Americans…
• ate a large bowl of green salad daily
• had a large serving of steamed greens daily
• ate a cup of beans daily
• had at least an ounce of raw seeds and nuts daily
• ate at least three fresh fruits daily
• had some tomatoes, peppers, onions, mushrooms, herbs, and garlic daily”
Source: Fuhrman, Joel (2011). Eat to Live: The Amazing Nutrient-Rich Program for Fast and Sustained Weight Loss (p. 165). Hachette Book Group.
2. Detoxification / Restoration of True
Hunger• “Toxic Hunger” - the experience of
detoxification & withdrawal symptoms that leads us to eat when we’re not truly physically hungry. (Furhman, 2011)
Fear of Hunger /The Need To Feel
“Full”• Body goes into detoxification and repair as soon as we
are no longer digesting.
• Uncomfortable withdrawal symptoms lead us to eat more food to feel better, as eating retards detoxification and withdrawal.
• The more low-micronutrient meals we consume, the greater the toxic buildup in our body, and the more intolerable the withdrawal symptoms will feel.
• We eat continuously, and choose heavy, hard to digest meals to avoid onset of detoxification symptoms.
• This inevitably leads to weight gain, leptin/insulin resistance and emotional eating.
Leptin Resistance
• Traditionally believed to be produced by adipose tissue to control satiety signals in the hypothalamus.
• More recent research shows low plasma leptin levels / leptin resistance results in:• obesity, hyperphagia, neuroendocrine dysfunction,
depression, dysregulation of the brain’s reward circuitry, hyperglycemia and insulin resistance, impaired learning and memory
• Leptin receptors have been found in hypothalamus, hippocampus, brain stem, cortex, amygdala, and cerbellum.
Citation: Leptin regulation of neuronal excitability and cognitive function. Harvey, J. Curr Opin Pharmacol, 2007 Dec;7(6):643-7
Symptoms of “Toxic Hunger” /
Withdrawal• Headaches
• Fatigue
• Nausea
• Weakness
• Mental confusion and irritability
• Abdominal and esophageal spasm
• Fluttering and cramping in the stomach.
Symptoms can last from a couple of days to a few weeks.
True Hunger
• Comes on after glycogen stores have been depleted, when gluconeogenesis begins
• Protects against muscle breakdown
• Different from hypoglycemia, as glucagon naturally activates gluconeogensis
• When eating according to true hunger, not toxic hunger, we learn that we need a lot less food than we think.
Appetite Regulation
Source: Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead, a Joe Cross film.
How to Achieve True Hunger
1. Do not eat when not hungry.
2. Snack only when it’s true hunger
3. Do not overeat. Don’t eat until you feel full or stuffed
4. Do not eat a big dinner
5. Don’t eat after dinner. Instead, clean the kitchen, brush and floss, and stay away from food. Look forward to how good food will taste the next morning when you are hungry again.
6. Discontinue or wean off caffeine, salt, alcohol, sweets, butter, cheese, processed foods, soft drinks, smoking, and illegal and legal drugs (if safe to do so).
Source: Fuhrman, Joel (2011). Eat to Live: The Amazing Nutrient-Rich Program for Fast and Sustained Weight Loss (p. 166). Hachette Book Group.
Principles of Detoxification
• Optimize:• Digestion• Absorption• Elimination
• Eat:• Clean & fresh • Fiber-rich • Anti-inflammatory• Antioxidant-rich
• Drink:• Water• Herbal Teas• Vegetable broths
• Avoid:• Sugar• Caffeine• Dairy• Wheat• Red meat• Alcohol and drugs• Artificial flavors, colors,
preservatives• Pesticides, hormones etc• Most processed foods• Other food sensitivities
(e.g. soy, eggs, fructose, grains, etc.)
Clients see 50-80% reduction in emotional eating behaviors and cravings
3. Functional Nutrients for Brain
Health• High potency multivitamin and mineral complex
• Dose: should contain most minerals and 100% or more of the daily value
• B Complex – B6, Folate, and B12 are all needed for methylation, which plays a critical role in neurotransmitter synthesis• Dose: 10-25 times the daily value of all B vitamins; at least
800mcg of folic acid (Marz 1999)
• Omega 3s – EPA and DHA are powerful anti-inflammatory fatty acids for the brain; DHA is the main structural fatty acid in CNS. • Dose: at least 500mg DHA and 500mg EPA (Hyman 2009)
• Vitamin E as Gamma Tocopherol – gamma tocopherol has proven to be more neuro-protective than alpha and other tocopherols (Morris et al. 2005). • Dose: 400 IU with at least 50% in gamma form. (Hyman 2009)
Folate
• Deficiency linked with depression in studies dating back 30 years. About 1/3 of all depressed patients are deficient in Folate.
• 60% of the US population has a genetic polymorphism in MTHFR, which converts 5,10-MTHF to 5-MTHF, the active form
• 5-MTHF is critical for methylation, as well as the regeneration of Tetrahydrobiopterin (BH4), which is the rate limiting step in monoamine neurotransmitter synthesis.
• Effective for people who do not respond well to SSRIs due to low levels of neurotransmitters.
• Source:
• E. Huskisson et al. 2007. The Influence of Macronutrients on Cognitive Function and Performance. The Journal of International Medical Research 35:1-19.
• A. Coppen. 2005. Treatment of Depression: Folic Acid and B12. Journal of Psychopharmacology 19 (1):59-65
Nutrient Support for Neurotransmitters
Serotonin: • Precursors: 5-HTP, L-tryptophan• Supportive Nutrients: Iron, B6, niacin, folate,
B12, inositol • Dose: 50-200mg 5-HTP in am or 500-1500mg Trp
HIS; 12g/d Inositol (Gelber et al. 2001)
Dopamine & Norepinephrine:• Precursors: L-phenylalanine, L-tyrosine
• Dose: 500-1500mg per day, empty stomach (Hyman 2009)
• Supportive Nutrients: iron, B6, niacin, folate, B12
Nutrient Support for Neurotransmitters
Achetylcholine: • Precursors: choline, acetyl-L-carnitine• Supportive Nutrients: Phosphotidylserine, niacin
• Choline Foods: egg yolks, beef, liver, dairy fat• Dose of acetyl-L-carnitine: 500-1000mg/d empty stomach in am (Hyman
2009)• Dose of Phosphoditylserine: 100-300mg/d (Hyman 2009)
GABA:• Precursor: L-Glutamine • Cofactor: B vitamins, Mg, Inositol
• Dose: 500mg-1500mg L-Glutamine tid; 100-500mg GABA tid (Ross 2004)
Hyperzine-A: a Chinese club moss extract that slows breakdown of achetylcholine
• Dose: 50-200mcg/d (Hyman 2009)
Dopamine & NE Synthesis
Serotonin Synthesis
GABA Synthesis
Other Considerations
• Endocrine disorders (PCOS, diabetes, hypothyroidism, leptin/insulin resistance, etc.)
• Microbial infections (Candida, EBV, etc.)
• Sunlight/vitamin D
• Exercise
• Water
When Chemically-Balanced…
• Fewer cravings
• Eat when hungry, stop when full
• Better energy
• Greater mental clarity and emotional resilience
• Less food and body image obsessive thinking
• Fewer negative thoughts and emotions (quieter amygdala)
Cultivate Emotional
Coping Skills
Dealing with Suffering
“Life is suffering.” ~ The First Noble Truth taught by Buddha
“In a world of tension and breakdown it is necessary for there to be those who seek to integrate their inner lives not by avoiding anguish and running away from problems, but by facing them in their naked reality and in their ordinariness.”
~ Thomas Merton
Avoiding Suffering
“It is not the feelings themselves that cause...the compulsive eating... It is our attempt not to feel the feelings.”
Source: Eating in the Light of the Moon, by Anita Johnston, Ph.D.
Pain vs. Suffering
• Buddhist Psychology - • Pain is inevitable• Suffering is not. It is optional
Relationship to Suffering
Attachment Theory:
• How we respond to our feelings and needs is shaped In infancy by our primary caregiver(s).
• How we treat ourselves, in times of distress (typically from unmet needs), is modeled after how they treated us and how they treated themselves.
Attachment Styles
Secure (55-65% of the population)• When a parent is consistently available and able to
meet the needs of a child in a sensitive and attuned manner.
• Child has greater self-esteem, emotional health, and ego resilience; comfortable with intimacy in relationships; has internal sense of security and worthiness
Anxious/Pre-occupied• When a parent is inconsistent in h/her ability to meet a
child’s needs in a responsive and appropriate manner.• Child exhibits greater anxiousness and insecurity; pre-
occupied with approval seeking
Attachment Styles
Avoidant• When a parent consistently fails to be available or
able to meet a child’s needs.• Child is more independent and isolated. Avoids
people or pushes them away.
Disorganized• When a parent is experienced as a source of danger
and safe haven. • Child exhibits learned helplessness; lacks a coherent,
organized strategy for coping
Children with insecure attachment styles have higher measured cortisol levels.
Emotional Hunger
Hunger as a metaphor:
“Longing for food is longing for emotional and spiritual nourishment. It is often a longing for the ideal mother, the archetypal Good Mother who nourishes us, soothes us, and loves and accepts us just the way we are.”
Source: Eating in the Light of the Moon, by Anita Johnston, Ph.D.
Basic Human Needs
• Love
• Connection
• Safety
• Physical well-being
• Honesty
• Play
• Peace
• Autonomy
• Meaning
• Hope
Source: http://www.cnvc.org/Training/needs-inventory
When Needs Are Met
• Affectionate
• Engaged
• Hopeful
• Confident
• Excited
• Grateful
• Inspired
• Joyful
• Exhilarated
• Peaceful
• Refreshed
Source: http://www.cnvc.org/Training/feelings-inventory
We feel:
When Needs Are Unmet
• Afraid
• Annoyed
• Angry
• Confused
• Aversive
• Disconnected
• Disquiet
• Embarrassed
• Fatigue
• Pain
• Sad
• Tense
• Vulnerable
• Yearning
Source: http://www.cnvc.org/Training/feelings-inventory
We feel:
Re-parenting Ourselves
• Our parents did the best they could. We have to pick up where they left off.
• We must learn to nourish and sooth ourselves in a consistent, sensitive, attuned, and appropriate manner.
• In other words, we have to become our own secure base to which we can return in times of need.
Food as Surrogate Mother
• Until we learn to parent ourselves, food serves as a surrogate mother who is always there, promising to consistently and reliably provide comfort.
• “Food is the only thing I can count on in life to…• …always be there for me.”• …make me happy.”• …not disappoint me.”
Counselors Role
• Model a healthy compassionate relationship, teaching the client how to appropriately self-sooth.
• Help clients more accurately interpret their physical sensations, emotions, and needs.
• Teach them appropriate coping for different needs.
• The client will then eventually internalize and integrate the counselor’s voice as her own.
Ideal Nurturer
Qualities include:• Patient• Good listener• Compassionate• Empathic• Understanding• Forgiving• Strong• Reliable• Responsible• Clear boundaries
Two Types of EE
• Emotionally Avoidant Eating• Eating to not feel
• Emotionally-Attuned Eating• Eating that is attuned to underlying
feelings and needs
Emotional Attuned Eating
• Step 1 – Pause
• Step 2 – Tune in
• Step 3 – Feel
• Step 4 - Respond with self-compassion
• Step 5 – Provide
• Step 6 – Receive
Step 1 - Pause
• Breaks automatic behaviors
• Allows us to connect with the voice of our inner nurturer
• This is where awareness and change can come in
• Strategies include:• Deep breathing• Leaving the room• Drinking water• Counting to 100• Walk around the block…
Step 2 – Tune In & Listen
As an ideal mother would for her child, help to name and interpret the experience.
Ask yourself:• What am I feeling (physically, emotionally)?• What am I needing/yearning for?• What am I believing about my experience? (pain vs. suffering)
• Is this feeling familiar? How old do I feel when I feel this? What memories from the past come to mind? (Tapping into implicit memory encoded in our amygdala)
Stay present and receptive. Listen to the whole story, without judgment or fixing (this accesses our hippocampus and cortex, strengthens higher executive functioning; enables new, explicit memory to form)
Step – Tune in & Listen
• “Can you imagine how your life would have been different if each time you were feeling sad or angry as a kid, an adult said to you, ‘Come here, sweetheart, tell me all about it?’ If when you were overcome with grief at your best friend's rejection, someone said to you, ‘Oh, darling, tell me more. Tell me where you feel those feelings. Tell me how your belly feels, your chest. I want to know every little thing. I'm here to listen to you, hold you, be with you.’”
~ Geneen Roth
Step 3 – Feel Fully
• As with mindful eating, approach the feeling as if you’ve never experienced it before.
• Give yourself 20 min in which you won’t be disturbed.
• Sense your body. Feel the surface you’re sitting on.
• With total curiosity and objectivity, notice where you feel the emotions in your body.
• Describe your sensations – shape, volume, texture, color, intensity, temperature, etc.
• Soften instead of contract around the sensations. Move towards rather than away from them. Breath deeply into them until they subside and pass.
The Wisdom of Emotions
• Powerful way for our body and psyche to communicate.
• They not only lead us to safety and away from potential dangers, they also let us know when we are living in or out of alignment with who we really are and how we want to live.
The Wisdom of Emotions
• Anger: determination, strength to stand our own ground, energy and focus to let the world know what is and is not okay.
• Fear: opportunity to learn trust and gain courage. Discover what we really need to feel safe. Denying it is paralyzing, sends us into panic and stagnation.
• Loneliness: gift of self-awareness, may learn why you keep others at a distance and how you do it.
• Sadness: gift of healing and cleansing past wounds with tears. Compassion for ourselves and others. Feeling oneness with the human race as none of us are exempt from suffering.
• Jealousy: gift of making us awareness of what we truly desire.
Step 3 – Feel Fully
• “All any feeling wants is to be welcomed with tenderness. It wants room to unfold. It wants to relax and tell its story. It wants to dissolve like a thousand writhing snakes that with a flick of kindness become harmless strands of rope.”
~ Geneen Roth
Step 4 – Self-Compassion
• Identify and disengage from inner critical voices, such as:
ED,
The Perfectionist,
The Workaholic,
The Minimizer,
The Victim,
The Child,
The Rebellious Teen, etc…
Step 4 – Self-Compassion
• Be warm and understanding towards ourselves when we suffer, fail, feel inadequate, fear the unknown, etc.
• Recognize that suffering, vulnerability and imperfection are part of being human.
Resources: • Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach
(book) • Self-Compassion by Kristen Neff (book)• The Power of Vulnerability by Brene
Brown (TEDtv)
Step 5 - ProvideWhat kind of nourishment would best meet your needs?
Step 5 - Provide
• How are you providing for yourself?• With a loving Intention?• With a punishing Intention?
• Who are you feeding?• Self-compassionate voice?• Self-critical voice?
(Which part of your brain are you strengthening? Old brain or new brain?)
Whatever we feed, grows.
Step 6 - Receive
“To take in the nourishment that’s offered…we have to believe that we are valuable and worthy to receive.”
~ Hale Sofia Schatz
• Physically: Whatever you decide to eat, say “I choose to have this,” then chew well, savor, and enjoy it fully. Allow time for digestion.
• Emotionally: Give yourself full permission (and as much time as you need/can) to rest, play, do nothing, vent, grieve, etc., without guilt.
• Mentally: Give yourself time to reflect on and integrate your experience. Often, clarity, insight and understanding come after feeling fully.
• Without receiving, we remain emotionally starved. (“snack” vs. a “full meal”)
What does freedom look like?
What does freedom look like?
• Becoming our own ideal nurturer is a lifelong process.
• There is no end point but there are many rewards along the way.
• Discipline - Roaming free in a small meadow• Eat mostly clean, stabilizing fuel for the brain & body• Regularly listening and responding to our feelings/needs• Valuing our strengths and respecting our limitations
• Conscious choices based on knowledge of:• Biochemical costs and benefits• Emotional costs and benefits
• Aligning with a loving intention for our body, mind and spirit, so we can grow to be the fullest expression of ourselves.
Q & A
