DIRECTORY OF BEREAVEMENT AND LOSS - East Sussex · East Sussex Whole of Kent South East London Telephone 01795 845216 E-mail [email protected] Registered Charity No 1039651

DIRECTORY OF BEREAVEMENT AND LOSS

- Contacts and Suggested Reading List

Publication Date - October 2009 Updated – January 2011

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Bereavement Strategy Group Contact: Educational Psychology Service

01892 655244

Foreword

Effective strategies for managing bereavement and l oss take a whole school approach. There is a clear policy context for promo ting the well being of bereaved children and young people through Personal , Social and Health Education (PHSE) , the Social and Emotional Aspects of Learning (SEAL) resource and the achievement of Healthy Schools sta tus. Over the past year members of the Bereavement Strat egy Group have been networking and compiling information on the range o f organisations across East Sussex providing bereavement services to child ren, young people and their families. This is in order to assist families , multi-agency practitioners, early years and school personnel in identifying resources and in accessing appropriate support.

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Contents

Child Bereavement Charity ....................................................................................... 3 COPES Project ......................................................................................................... 4 Demelza House Childrens Hospice .......................................................................... 4 Dragonflies Takes Flight ........................................................................................... 5 Eastbourne & District CRUSE Bereavement Care.................................................... 5 Education Psychology Service.................................................................................. 6 Excellence Cluster Hastings and St Leonards ....................................................... 6 (Pupil Development Courses) ................................................................................... 6 Fegans...................................................................................................................... 7 St Michaels Bereavement Service ............................................................................ 8 Winston’s Wish ......................................................................................................... 8

Under 5s ................................................................................................................. 10 5 – 12s.................................................................................................................... 11 12 UPWARDS ........................................................................................................ 16 WORKBOOKS........................................................................................................ 18 PARENTS AND CARERS ...................................................................................... 19 SCHOOLS AND OTHER SETTINGS ..................................................................... 23 ABOUT CHILDHOOD BEREAVEMENT................................................................. 23 ABOUT CHILDHOOD BEREAVEMENT SERVICES.............................................. 24 OTHER HELPFUL BOOKS (NOT DIRECTLY ABOUT DEATH) ............................ 24 BOOKS FOR FAMILIES WHEN SOMEONE IS SERIOUSLY ILL .......................... 27 GAMES 28 BOOKS FOR FAMILIES BEREAVED THROUGH SUICIDE .................................. 28 BOOKS ABOUT THE DEATH OF A NEW BABY ................................................... 28 BOOKS FOR ADULTS SUPPORTING A BEREAVED CHILD ............................... 29 BOOKS FOR FAMILIES BEREAVED THROUGH MURDER................................. 30

Name

Child Bereavement Charity Address

Aston House High Street West Wycombe Buckinghamshire HP14 3AG

Geographical Coverage

National

Telephone 01494 446648 E-mail [email protected] Registered Charity No

1040419

Types of Services

• Training for schools on how to support pupils and staff after a death

• Training for schools to take a proactive approach to death education within PSHE and other curriculum areas

• Telephone support for schools staff and families • Comprehensive website with schools section offering

downloadable lesson plans, guidance and information Last updated 5 February 2009

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Name

Demelza House Childrens Hospice Address

Demelza Hospice Care for Children Rook Lane Bobbing SITTINGBOURNE Kent ME9 8DZ


East Sussex Whole of Kent South East London

Telephone 01795 845216 E-mail [email protected]

Registered Charity No

1039651

Types of Services

• Pre and post bereavement support for children and families with a child with a life limited condition

• 1 to 1 support • family support

Name COPES Project

Address

Action in Rural Sussex 212 High Street LEWES BN7 2NH


The local partnerships for children of Rye, Battle, Robertsbridge, Wadhurst, Heathfield, Chailey, Ringmer, Crowborough, Uckfield, Lewes, Seaford, Newhaven, Peacehaven for children 5-13 and their families

Telephone 01273 407336 E-mail [email protected]/t


1035401

Types of Services

Work is based on school priorities and use of the Common Assessment Framework

• Direct work with children • Direct work with parents • Direct work with whole families and parent/child units • Agreed group work from time to time • Clear and swift signposting of families to other services

Last updated February 2009

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• grandparents support • sibling support • special reassurance events throughout the year

Last updated 26 February 2009

Name

Dragonflies Takes Flight Address (Dragonflies operate from two centres)

Robsack Centre FSN Bodiam Drive 66 London Road ST LEONARDS ON SEA St Leonards-on-Sea East Sussex TN38 9TW East Sussex, TN37 6AS


Hastings and Rother

Telephone 01424 855222 (Extension 221) 01424 423683 (Extension 34) 07776 175159

E-mail [email protected]


208446

Types of Services

• One to One support offered to parents/carers • Group activities for children/young people 5 to 18 years • Telephone service: information, guidance and support

available to bereaved children and young people, parents/other carers, teachers, schools and other professionals

Last updated 6 January 2009

Name Eastbourne & District CRUSE Bereavement Care

Address

C/O EAVS 8 Saffrons Road EASTBOURNE East Sussex BN21 1DG


Eastbourne, Seaford, Newhaven, Lewes, Heathfield, Hailsham, Polegate, Pevensey

Telephone 01323 642942 E-mail [email protected] Registered Charity No

208078

Types of Services

• One to one bereavement support/counselling for all ages • Counselling available to bereaved children and young people

by specially trained volunteer counsellors

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Centre for bereaved adults • Eastbourne telephone service: information guidance and to

register for one to one support • National helpline 0344 477 9400 – cruse website

www.cruse.org.uk • Training courses/in awareness in bereavement care leads to a

certification from OCNW for volunteers, teachers and other professionals. Ongoing training for Cruse volunteers

• Service to clients is free


Name Education Psychology Service

Address

Crowborough Eastbourne Beaconwood 3rd Floor St Marks House Beacon Road 14 Upperton Road CROWBOROUGH EASTBOURNE TN6 1AR BN21 1EP Hastings Tower Building Lower South Road ST LEONARDS ON SEA TN37 6RH


East Sussex

Telephone

Crowborough 01892 655244 Eastbourne 01323 463636 Hastings 01424 720702

E-mail www.eastsussex.gov.uk

Types of Services

Immediate debriefing to schools in response to a critical incident • School based training in relation to bereavement support • Informal workshops for parents • Workshops for parents in relation to supporting children who

have experienced bereavement • Guidance to school on development of bereavement policies

and protocols • Modelling of group activities for use with children in school who

have experience bereavement

Last updated 4 December 2008

Name Excellence Cluster Hastings and St Leonards

(Pupil Development Courses) Address

Theaklen Drive St Leonards On Sea East Sussex TN38 9AZ

Geographical Hastings and St Leonards, Infant, Primary and Secondary Schools,

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Coverage including Rye College Telephone 01424 439340 E-mail [email protected]

Types of Services

• Six week loss and separation courses delivered to primary and secondary school by Excellence cluster Teachers

• Groups of ten pupils access the twelve sessions during a six week school team

• Training for school support staff


Name Fegans

Address

Pinewood Family Resource Centre 10 High Street HEATHFIELD East Sussex TN21 8LS


Wealden and Eastbourne



209930

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Types of Services

• Individual Counselling for children, young people and adults at

our centre

• Counselling in schools in Heathfield and surrounding area

• Training for teachers, schools and other professionals

• Group work in schools covering loss and bereavement

Last updated 28 January, 2009

Name Winston’s Wish

The Charity for Bereaved Children Address

Head Office Westmorland House 80-86 Bath Road CHELTENHAM Gloucestershire GL53 7JT


UK

Telephone General : 01242 515157 (Head Office) Helpline : 08452 03 04 05

E-mail [email protected]


1061359

Types of Services

• A National Helpline for anyone supporting a bereaved child

• A comprehensive programme of face to face group and

individual work with bereaved children and their families

• A range of specialist publications and resources

Name St Michaels Bereavement Service

Address

St Michaels Hospice 25 Upper Maze Hill St Leonards On Sea TN38 OLB


St Leonards and surrounding area


www.stmichaelshospice.com Registered Charity No

288462

Types of Services

Bereavement Counselling

Last updated June 2009

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• Training and consultancy for professionals working with bereaved young people

• A website providing information about supporting a bereaved

child as well as interactive pages for young people

Last updated 28 January, 2009

Name Winston’s Wish Address

Unit 6, The Colonnades 17 London Road PULBOROUGH West Sussex RH20 1AS


West Sussex (children and families who live and go to school in West Sussex)

Telephone 0845 2030405 (helpline) 01798 874742

E-mail [email protected] [email protected] www.winstonswish.og.uk


1061359

Types of Services

• One to one support work with any parent or child where the

grief is complicated • Group activities for 6 to 18 year olds • Information, guidance and support offered throughout the UK

via helpline, publications, resources, interactive website and bespoke training

• Email service, information, guidance and support available to bereaved children, young people, parents, carers , teachers, schools and other professionals

Last updated

28 January, 2009

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SUGGESTED READING BOOK LIST

Under 5s When Uncle Bob Died Althea (2001) Happy Cat Books ISBN: 978-1903285084 A simple book about a boy whose uncle dies from an illness. Explains the facts around death and explores some of the feelings people have. Granpa John Burningham (2003) Red Fox This picture book (made into a film) shows happy memories of a girl and her grandfather. The last picture shows his chair empty - children may need some explanation of what might have happened. Goodbye Mousie Robie Harris (2003) Simon and Schuster Children's B ooks ISBN: 978-068871344 A little boy's pet mouse dies and his parents help him to understand what death means by answering his questions. I Miss You: A First Look at Death By Pat Thomas & illustrated by Lesley Harker, 2001 ISBN: 978-0764117640 This bright and colourful picture book very simply talks about life and death. It briefly covers a range of issues such as why people die, how you may feel when someone dies and what happens afterwards. It includes questions for the reader to answer about their own experiences and a section at the back for adults on how to best use the book. An excellent educational book, which could be used as a starting point for discussion. Dear Grandma Bunny Written and Illustrated by Dick Bruna, 1996 ISBN:978-1405219013 Suitable for very young children this book tells the story of what happened and how Miffy felt and coped when Grandma died. Heaven Written by Nicholas Allan, 2006, Red Fox ISBN: 978-0099488149 Dill, the dog, knows his time is up, so he packs his case and tells Lily, his owner, that he's off "up there". "Can I come too?" asks Lily. "Er...not yet," replies Dill. While he is waiting for the angels to collect him, Dill explains to Lily what he thinks heaven is like: hundreds of lampposts to pee against, lots of whiffy things to smell and bones everywhere - with meat on them! But, Lily completely disagrees; she thinks heaven is quite different. Luckily, they agree to disagree just in time for a fond, and very poignant, last goodbye. The Red Woolen Blanket Written By Bob Graham, Candlewick Press 1996 ISBN: 978-1564028488 Even before Julia was born she was given a red woolen blanket that she used "right from the start." PW said, "Graham's colourful paintings show a humorous, tender regard for a preschooler's inexplicable attachment to a particular object." Ages 2 to 4.

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The Best Day of the Week Hannah Cole (1997) Walker Books Ltd Angela and Carole always spend Saturdays with their grandparents. Their Granny becomes ill and dies, and the book shows the family coping and managing to have fun, while still remembering her. Waterbugs and Dragonflies: explaining death to youn g children Doris Stickney (2002) Continuum International This book uses the analogy of a waterbug transforming into a dragonfly to illustrate the idea of life after death. Written from a Christian viewpoint, children may need an adult to help understand the relevance of the story. What do we think about death? Karen Bryant-Mole (2000) Hodder Wayland Talks about life, death and the feelings associated with bereavement. Useful as a general education book as well as for bereaved children.

Remembering My Brother Ginny Perkins and Leon Morris (1996) A & C Black A boy finds ways to remember his brother in positive ways.

5 – 12s Gentle Willow: A Story for Children About Dying by Joyce C. Mills

Publisher: Magination Press 1993

A simple story suitable for all young children

ISBN-10: 0945354541

An illustrated story for children who are terminally ill or facing the death of a loved one. Gentle Willow is sick, and Amanda calls upon the Tree Wizards to help him. But they cannot, and Amanda struggles with feelings of loss, confusion, anger and, finally, hope.

The Tale of Two Dolphins, When My Sister Died Sudde nly by Sarah Fitzgerald Suitable for family and educational use. Ages 5 – 1 6

Publisher: Brambles Press 2000 edition

ISBN-10: 0953447618

The Tale of two Dolphins expresses in beautifully simple yet poignant language the author's feelings at the tragic loss of her older sister. It is suitable for family use and within the school setting. It offers a unique and valuable insight into the feelings associated with bereavement while leaving the reader with a positive outlook for the future.

The Very Hungry Caterpillar by Eric Carle Suitable for all younger children

Publisher: Puffin Books; New Ed edition (28 Nov 2002)

ISBN-10: 0140569324

A newly hatched caterpillar eats his way through all kinds of food in this story aimed at the very young. An analogy can be made with life and death.

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A Birthday Present for Daniel: A Child’s Story of L oss By Juliet Rothman & illustrated by Louise Gish, 200 1 ISBN: 9781573929462 Told by a young girl whose brother, Daniel, has died, she talks about how things have changed in the family. She also talks about the things she does when she is sad and how these differ from other members of her family. This book has small black and white pictures with minimal text but it conveys some important issues. It would be particularly useful to broach the subject of birthdays as it describes how the family remembered Daniel on his birthday. Always and Forever By Alan Durant & illustrated by Debi Gliori, 2003 ( h’back) ISBN: 978-0552548779 Otter, Mole and Hare miss Fox when he falls ill and dies. They stay at home and don’t want to talk about him because it makes them sadder. Then Squirrel visits and reminds them of all the fun times they had together. They all find a way to remember Fox and get on with their lives. Colourful, detailed pictures in this book emphasise the importance of holding on to memories. Badger’s Parting Gifts By Susan Varley,1992 Picture Lions ISBN: 978-0006643173 Badger is old and knows he is going to die soon. When he does, the other animals think they will be sad forever, but they begin to talk about the memories they have of the things Badger taught them and learn to cope with his death. A lovely picture book that emphasises the importance of remembering the person who has died. Drop Dead By Babette Cole, 1998 Red Fox ISBN: 978-0099659112 A humorous book with comic-like pictures, two ‘bald old wrinklies’ tell their grandchildren about their life growing up and how one day they will just drop down dead. It is a light-hearted book about life that emphasises the normality and inevitability of dying. It is very direct and some readers may not like its style. Flamingo Dream By Donna Jo Napoli & illustrated by Cathie Felstead , 2003 Greenwillow Books ISBN: 978-0688167967 In this bright and colourful book, a young boy tells the story of his Dad who is seriously ill and dies soon after a trip to Florida to see the place where he grew up. The collage style illustrations capture the things the boy collects to remind him of his Dad. A sensitive but honest book which emphasises the importance of memories. Fred By Posy Simmonds, 1998 Red Fox ISBN: 978-0099264125 A light-hearted book with detailed illustrations about Fred, Nick and Sophie’s lazy cat that dies. After burying him in the garden, they wake up at night to find all the cats in the area have come to say goodbye to Fred, the famous singer! This funny and touching story would be useful to introduce death to children. Granpa – The Book of the Film Based on the story by John Burningham, 1991Ladybird Books Ltd ISBN: 978-0721414768 This beautifully detailed picture book has very few words but tells the story of a little girl’s relationship with her Granpa. It takes the reader through many happy times they spent together playing games, telling stories and on outings. On the last page, Granpa’s chair is empty, signifying that he has died. Children may benefit from reading this book with an adult to talk about the pictures and to elaborate some of the messages it conveys.

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Saying Goodbye: A Special Farewell to Mama Nkwelle By Ifeoma Onyefulu, 2002 Frances Lincoln ISBN: 978-0711217010 This book has large bright colourful photos and follows a little boy, Ikenna describing what happens at the ceremony after his great-grandmother’s funeral. It gives ideas of different ways to remember someone and an insight into Nigerian culture. A lovely book that could be used in many different situations, including schools. There’s NO Such Thing as a Dragon By Jack Kent Happy Cat Books ISBN: 978-1899248957 There's No Such Thing as a Dragon (1975) by Jack Kent, part of the Family Story time series, relates the charming tale of Billy Bixbee, who awakens to find a dragon "about the size of a kitten" sitting on his bed. The dragon grows by leaps and bounds, until Billy dares to pet the attention-seeking creature and it shrinks back down into an adoring little lap dragon. The Sunshine Cat Written by Miriam Moss, Illustrated by Lisa Flather Orchard Picturebooks ISBN: 978-1841215679 Sunny the cat is loved by all his human family, but one day there is a knock at the door - Sunny has been killed in an accident. A sensitive story which aims to help children come to terms with death. The Huge Bag of Worries By Virginia Ironside & illustrated by Frank Rodgers , 1996 Hodder Wayland ISBN: 978-0340903179 Jenny begins to worry about lots of different things and these worries build up and get out of control. She just can’t get rid of them, until she meets the old lady next door who helps her feel better. A lovely story with fun illustrations encourages children to talk about their worries. Saying Goodbye to Daddy By Judith Vigna, 1991 (h’back) Albert Whitman & Company ISBN: 978-0807572535 Clare’s Dad died in a car accident and this book looks at changes in the family, difficult feelings, funerals and memories through the eyes of Clare. It would also be a good book to help parents understand the child’s perspective. It gives good examples of how adults can answer children’s questions, emphasising the need to be clear and honest. The Tenth Good Thing About Barney By Judith Viorst & illustrated by Erik Blegvad, 1987Prentice Hall & IBD ISBN: 978-06897120361 A young boy’s cat dies and his parents suggest that he could think of ten good things about Barney to tell at the funeral. But he can only think of nine, until he talks to his Father about what happens to someone after they have died, and he discovers the tenth. A carefully written book with black and white pictures, that sensitively deals with death and lets the reader make his or her own decisions about what happens after the funeral. When Dinosaurs Die: A Guide to Understanding Death By Laurie Krasny & illustrated by Marc Brown, 1998 Time Warner Trade Publishing ISBN: 978-0316119559 This factual picture book uses cartoon dinosaurs to illustrate the text and comment on what is said. It is a bright and colourful book that explains death in a simple and unthreatening way. It covers many issues including ‘why does someone die?’, ‘feelings about death’ and ‘saying goodbye’. It would be an excellent resource for anyone caring for young children. Two Weeks with the Queen Morris Gleitzman (1999) Puffin Books ISBN: 978-0141303000 When Luke gets cancer, his brother Colin is sent to stay with relatives in the UK from their home in Australia. He has adventures trying to get the Queen to lend him the best cancer doctor to treat his brother,

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Charlotte's Web E B White (2003) Puffin Books A classic story of Wilbur the pig and other animal friends of Fern who lives on a farm. Charlotte the spider saves Wilbur's life, but dies herself after her babies are born. Milly's Bug-nut Jill Janney (2002) Winston's Wish A short story of Milly, whose father has died, and the way her family finds through bereavement. She knows that when people die they can't come back, but she keeps a wish to see her Dad one more time The Golden Bird (Yellow Bananas) Berlie Doherty (1995) Heinemann Young Books When Andrew's father dies, he finds he cannot talk to his friends or teachers about it. His teacher casts him as the golden bird in a school play and he learns to express himself again. What on earth do you do when someone dies? Trevor Romain, Elizabeth Verdick (1999) Free Spirit Publishing Describes the overwhelming emotions involved when a loved one dies, and discusses how to cope. Someone Special has died Department of Social Work (1989) St Christopher's Hospice Describers emotions likely to occur after bereavement and what happens to a body after death Someone has died suddenly Department of Social Work (1999) St Christopher's H ospice Explains what might happen in the aftermath of an unexpected death including procedures such as inquests and funerals, as well as practical suggestions about how to cope. Beginnings and Endings with Lifetimes in Between - A beautiful way to explain life and death to chi ldren By Bryan Mellonie & Robert Ingpen, 1997 Belitha Pre ss ISBN: 978- 1855617605 This thought provoking book has large pictures complemented with small sections of text. It clearly explains about life and death focussing on plants, animals and insects before moving on to people. It emphasises that death is part of the life cycle and is natural and normal whenever it occurs. A simple book with a powerful message. Death: What’s Happening? By Karen Bryant–Mole, 1994Hodder Wayland ISBN: 978-0750213790 This factual book has clear text and large photos. It uses stories of young people to discuss issues surrounding death such as feeling frightened, the funeral and the future. It includes advice on how to feel better and cope with difficult situations after someone has died. Using straightforward language, this book may reassure the reader there are other young people who have had someone important to them die and answer some of their questions and concerns. The Cat Mummy By Jacqueline Wilson & illustrated by Nick Sharratt , 2002 Corgi Childrens ISBN: 978-0440864165 (also on audiocassette) Verity’s Mum died the day she was born but she rarely talks about her. Verity doesn’t want to upset her Dad or Grandparents. This humorous but sensitive story mainly focuses on Verity’s missing cat Mabel but reveals some of the misunderstandings and anxieties children can have about death. It also shows it can be good to be open, honest and to talk about difficult issues.

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The Ghost of Uncle Arvie By Sharon Creech, 1997 Macmillan Children’s Books ISBN: 978-0333656327 This fun and humorous book is about Danny, an ordinary nine-year-old boy. However, once or twice a year a ghost visits him. This time it is the ghost of his Uncle Arvie who follows him, persuading him to make his three wishes come true. As a result Danny and his dog get into adventures which make him think about his dad who has also died. This book has some important messages and talks about death in an open way, but is primarily fun and imaginative. The Mountains of Tibet By Mordicai Gerstein, 1989 Barefoot Paperbacks ISBN: 978-1898000549 Based on Tibetan teachings, this book tells of a small boy who grows up to be a woodcutter. When he dies, he discovers there is a chance to live again but first he must make a number of choices. A simple tale with deep meaning but the theme of reincarnation could be confusing. Losing Uncle Tim By Mary Kate Jordan & illustrated by Judith Friedma n, 1999 Albert Whitman & Company ISBN: 978-0807547564 This picture book for slightly older children explains how a young boy finds out his Uncle Tim has AIDS and is going to die. It is a serious and sensitive book covering many of the issues, changes and difficult feelings that can occur when someone has a serious illness. Michael Rosen’s SAD BOOK By Michael Rosen & illustrated by Quentin Blake, 20 04 Walker Books ISBN: 978-1406313161 This book has large illustrations and small snippets of text. It is wonderfully honest and will appeal to children and adults of all ages. We all have sad stuff, but what makes Michael Rosen most sad is thinking about his son who died. This book is a simple but emotive story. He talks about what sad is and how it affects him and what he does to cope with it. In true Michael Rosen style, this book manages to make you smile as well. The Best Day of the Week By Hannah Cole & illustrated by John Prater, 1997 Walker Books ISBN: 978-0744554670 This storybook tells of two young children who spend Saturdays with their Grandparents when Mum is at work. It has three chapters, with stories of three different Saturdays. The first is a happy day; the second is at the hospital and sad as Granny dies, the third at the theatre. It is a lovely story that gives an important message that it is still okay to have fun after someone dies. Water Bugs and Dragonflies: Explaining death to chi ldren By Doris Stickney & illustrated by Gloria Stickney, 1983 Geoffrey Chapman; New Ed edition 1997 ISBN: 978-0264674414 This pocket size booklet with small black and white pictures is based on a fable, associating death with a water bug’s transformation into a dragonfly. It portrays the mystery around death but may need an adult to explain the analogy and help a child relate it to their own experience. It uses Christian beliefs with a focus on life after death and also contains advice for parents. Ways to Live Forever By Sally Nicholls, Marion Lloyd Books, 2008 ISBN: 978-1407104997 If I grow up," 11-year-old Sam informs readers, "I'm going to be a scientist." He says "if" because he has acute lymphoblast leukaemia and knows he probably won't. With the encouragement of his tutor, he starts to write a bit about himself, then more, until he is using his writing to sort out his death. Interspersed with Sam's lists, questions and odd bits of mortality facts on notebook paper, his narrative proceeds in short, candid chapters that reveal a boy who, though he's not ready to die, nevertheless can confront the reality with heartbreaking clarity. As his parents wrangle about treatment (he doesn't want it), his little sister grapples with the changes to the household and his best friend and fellow cancer-

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sufferer dies, Sam methodically works through the things he wants to do before he dies, from going up a down escalator to the more problematic ride in an airship and seeing the earth from space.

Gentle Willow: A Story for Children About Dying by Joyce C. Mills

Publisher: Magination Press 1993

A simple story suitable for all young children

ISBN-10: 0945354541

An illustrated story for children who are terminally ill or facing the death of a loved one. Gentle Willow is sick, and Amanda calls upon the Tree Wizards to help him. But they cannot, and Amanda struggles with feelings of loss, confusion, anger and, finally, hope.

The Tale of Two Dolphins, When My Sister Died Sudde nly by Sarah Fitzgerald Suitable for family and educational use. Ages 5 – 1 6

Publisher: Brambles Press 2000 edition

ISBN-10: 0953447618

The Tale of two Dolphins expresses in beautifully simple yet poignant language the author's feelings at the tragic loss of her older sister. It is suitable for family use and within the school setting. It offers a unique and valuable insight into the feelings associated with bereavement while leaving the reader with a positive outlook for the future.

The Very Hungry Caterpillar by Eric Carle Suitable for all younger children

Publisher: Puffin Books; New Ed edition (28 Nov 200 2)

ISBN-10: 0140569324

A newly hatched caterpillar eats his way through all kinds of food in this story aimed at the very young. An analogy can be made with life and death.

12 UPWARDS

Michael Rosen’s Sad Book by Michael Rosen

Suitable for older children 8 plus and adults

Publisher Walker books Ltd 2008

ISBN-10 1406313165

A simple, beautifully illustrated book, which provides a good discussion opportunity to talk about sadness and loss.

The Lost Boys' Appreciation Society Alan Gibbons (2004) Orion Children's Books When Gary and John's mother dies suddenly, the boys and their father are thrown into turmoil. John feels responsible for Gary who starts hanging out with the wrong crowd. Straight talk about death for teenagers Earl Grollman (1993) Beacon Press

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Reassuring the reader that grief is normal, this book covers a range of feelings and reactions in response to different deaths. Vicky Angel Jacqueline Wilson (2001) Corgi Children's Books After Vicky was run over and died, her best friend Jade is confused to find that Vicky is an even more distracting presence than when she was alive. Covers the power of friendship and the overwhelming feelings around a sudden death. The Charlie Barber Treatment Carole Lloyd (1997) Walker Books Ltd When Simon's mother dies suddenly from a brain haemorrhage, he clams up. But his new friend Charlie helps him to talk again to his family and friends, and to find ways of enjoying life. Someone close to you has died Candle Project (2001) St Christopher's Hospice Describes feelings experienced by bereaved teenages and issues including not being understood, wondering if normality can be possible again, changes and unfinished business. Facing Grief: Bereavement and the young adult Susan Wallbank (1991) Lutterworth Press Deals with the particular experience of losing a parent, sibling, partner or friend between the ages of around 18 and 25. Double Act By Jacqueline Wilson & illustrated by Nick Sharratt , 1996 Corgi Children’s (Also on audiocassette) ISBN: 978-0440867593 Ruby and Garnet are 10-year-old twins. They do everything together, especially since their mum died three years ago. When their dad finds a new partner and they move house, Ruby and Garnet find it hard and get into all sorts of trouble. Eventually, they settle down and learn to live with the changes. A lively and humorous book that deals sensitively with change. Dustbin Baby By Jacqueline Wilson, 2002 Corgi Children’s (Also on audiocassette) ISBN: 978-0552547963 April was abandoned in a dustbin as a baby on the 1st April. Having spent all her life in a children’s home and with different foster parents (one of whom committed suicide), things haven’t been easy and April is struggling. Now she’s fourteen and on her birthday, determined to find out more about her past, sets off to find some important people. This is an emotive book with a great storyline in usual Jacqueline Wilson style. It is open and honest. The Man who didn’t want to die: From The Barefoot B ook of Buddhist Tales Retold by Sherab Chodzin & Alexandra Kohn Illustrated by Marie Cameron, 1999 Barefoot Books ISBN: 1841480096 This short story is based on a Japanese folk tale and approaches death from an unusual angle. When a man decides he doesn’t want to die, he is sent to the Land of Never-ending Life and expects to meet the happiest people in the world. However, the realities of living forever are not as attractive as he thought and he consequently learns an important lesson. This story is very thought provoking and could lead to some interesting discussions. Before I Die By Jenny Downham David Fickling Books ISBN: 978-0385613460 With only months left to live, 16-year-old Tessa makes a list of things she must experience: sex, petty crime, fame, drugs and true love. Downham's wrenching work features a girl desperate for a few thrilling moments before leukaemia takes her away. Although Tessa remains ardently committed to her list, both she and the reader find comfort in the quiet resonance of the natural world. Tessa's soul mate, Adam, gardens next door; a bird benignly rots in grass; psychedelic mushrooms provide escape; an apple tree brings comfort; and her best friend, Zoey, ripens in the final months of pregnancy.

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The Spying Game By Pat Moon, 2003 Politico's Publishing Ltd; Rev. E d Edition ISBN: 978-1842750049 Joe’s dad died in a car accident and he feels really angry towards the man who killed his father. He decides to set up a secret ‘Nightmare Plan’ to vent his anger and begins to persecute the man and his family by scratching his car and sending hate mail. This powerful book reveals the difficult emotions Joe faces both at home and at school. A very readable and fast paced book that would appeal to many young people. Up on Cloud Nine By Anne Fine, 2006 Corgi Children’s ISBN: 978-0552554657 Stol falls out of a top floor window and ends up unconscious in hospital with lots of broken bones and no-one knows whether it was attempted suicide or an accident. This book is written from the perspective of his best friend Ian whilst he is sitting by his bedside. He recalls all the fun times they have had together as well as acknowledging the slightly different way Stol sees the world. Ian captures the emotions of his own adoptive parents as well as Stol’s family and the hospital staff in an amusing yet moving way illustrating how Stol has had an inspirational effect on everyone. (Also available in audiocassette) Ostrich Boys By Keith Gray Definitions 2008 ISBN: 978-0099456575 It's not really kidnapping, is it? He'd have to be alive for it to be proper kidnapping.' Kenny, Sim and Blake are about to embark on a remarkable journey of friendship. Stealing the urn containing the ashes of their best friend Ross, they set out from Cleethorpes on the east coast to travel the 261 miles to the tiny hamlet of Ross in Dumfries and Galloway. After a depressing and dispiriting funeral they feel taking Ross to Ross will be a fitting memorial for a 15 year-old boy who changed all their lives through his friendship. Little do they realise just how much Ross can still affect life for them even though he's now dead. Drawing on personal experience Keith Gray has written an extraordinary novel about friendship, loss and suicide, and about the good things that may be waiting just out of sight around the corner... Broken Soup By Jenny Valentine HarperCollins Children's Books 2008 SBN: 978-0007229659 When the good-looking boy with the American accent presses the dropped negative into Rowan's hand, she's sure it's all a big mistake. But next moment he's gone, lost in the crowd of bustling shoppers. And she can't afford to lose her place in the checkout queue -- after all, if she doesn't take the groceries home, nobody else will. Rowan has more responsibilities than most girls her age. These days, she pretty much looks after her little sister single-handedly -- which doesn't leave much time for friends or fun. So when she finds out that Bee from school saw the whole thing, it piques her curiosity. Who was the boy? Why was he so insistent that the negative belonged to Rowan?

WORKBOOKS Good Grief 1: exploring feelings, loss and death wi th under 11s (1995) Good Grief 2: exploring feelings, loss and death wi th over 11s and adults (1996) Barbara Ward (1995, 1996) Jessica Kingsley Publishi ng With 20 educators contributing ideas piloted with children of different abilities and backgrounds in their care, this text has been designed to explore and demystify the experience of loss - in different contexts- within the framework of the National Curriculum. Muddles, Puddles and Sunshine Winston's Wish and Kate Shepherd (2000) Winston's W ish A range of fun and thoughtful creative activities and exercises for bereaved children, Fully illustrated, and introducing friendly characters of Bee and Bear.

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Grief Encounter Workbook Shelley Gilbert (2003) Grief Encounter Project A workbook to encourage conversations about death and bereavement between bereaved children and adults. When someone very special dies Marge Heegard (1991) Fairview Press For children and adults to use together to talk about general concepts of death and loss, as well as around a particular bereavement. Finding a way through when someone close has died: what it feels like and what you can do to help yourself Pat Mood and Lesley Whittaker (2001) Jesssica Kinsgley Publisher Written and illustrated by children and young people who discuss their own feelings after a bereavement and make practical suggestions of what helped them to cope. Readers are encouraged to write and draw about their own experience and to think about how they can seek further support. Talking with children and young people about death and dying Mary Turner (1998) Jessica Kingsley Publishers Covers concepts of death and dying and aspects of bereavement, including anger, fear. dreams and ways of remembering. Can be used as a basis for opening discussions between a bereaved child and adult.

PARENTS AND CARERS Death and Bereavement Across Cultures by Colin Murr ay Parkes

Publisher: Routledge 1996.

ISBN-10: 0415131375

All societies have their own customs and beliefs surrounding death. In the West, traditional ways of mourning are disappearing, and though science has had a major impact on views of death, it has taught us little about the way to die or to grieve. Many who come into contact with the dying and the bereaved from other cultures are at a loss to know how to offer appropriate and sensitive support. This is a handbook with which to meet the needs of doctors, nurses, social workers, counsellors and others involved in the care of the dying and bereaved. The work describes the rituals and beliefs of major world religions; explains their psychological and historical context; shows how customs change on contact with the West; and considers the implications for the future. This book explores mourning traditions around the world with the aim of increasing the understanding, which we all bring to the issue of death.

Loss, Change and Grief: An Educational Perspective by Erica Brown

Publisher: David Fulton Publishers Ltd 1999

ISBN-10: 1853464651

This work aims to explore experience of loss, change and grief, and foster positive attitudes towards teaching and learning about these issues. It outlines the different beliefs and practices associated with death and dying, and aims to help adults understand how children grieve. Suggestions are provided of ways in which adults might include teaching about loss and change within the school curriculum, and ways in which professionals educating and caring for children can collaborate in their work.

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Helping Children Cope with Grief: Facing a Death in the Family:

Overcoming Common Problems by Rosemary Wells

Publisher: Sheldon Press 1988

ISBN-10: 085969559XNothing can take away the pain and loss for a child who has lost someone close to them, but there is a great deal that a caring adult can do to avoid the long-term distress which can be caused by hidden fears and anxieties. This book also deals with the problems special to terminal illness or sudden death, and the misunderstandings that can arise from a well-meant remark.

Talking about Death: a dialogue between parent and child Earl Grollman (1991) Beacon Press This guide to helping children cope with death includes an illustrated, read-along story, and discusses coping with a child's anger, denial, or guilt, and how to discuss funerals, cemetaries, and grief. It includes advice from parents and acknowledges that they may be grieving too. Grief and Bereavement: understanding children Ann Couldrick (1989) Sobell Publications A brief guide to how children are likely to understand death and how to explain it to them, with suggestions for further sources of support. Caring for Bereaved Children Mary Bending (1993) Cruse Bereavement Care Offers insights into the ways children grieve from birth to adolescence, and suggests ways of helping. Grief in Children: a handbook for adults Atle Dyregov (1991) Jessica Kingsley Publications This book covers a range of bereavement experiences, covering different types of death, bereavement at different ages and differences in the way boys and girls may grieve. Makes suggestions for looking after children's needs. Also includes a chapter on bereavement groups for children. Helping children cope with separation and loss Claudia Jewett Jarrett (1994) Harvard Common Press Discussing the need to help children regain self-esteem and self-control after a bereavement, this book covers breeaking bad news to children, separation reactions and seeking meaning. A Child's Grief Diana Crossley and Julie Stokes (2001) Winston's Wi sh This information booklet for adults supporting children though bereavement covers a variety of issues which may affect a child and offers practical suggestions and activities. Beyond the Rough Rock: supporting a child who has b een bereaved through suicide Diana Crossley and Julie Stokes (2001) Winston's Wi sh An information booklet ofering practical advice for families where someone has died by suicide, aiming to give parents and professionals the confidence to involve children in discussions about the nature of death by suicide. Includes activities for the child to do with the family to start making sense of what has happened.

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Death and Bereavement Across Cultures by Colin Murr ay Parkes

Publisher: Routledge 1996.

ISBN-10: 0415131375

All societies have their own customs and beliefs surrounding death. In the West, traditional ways of mourning are disappearing, and though science has had a major impact on views of death, it has taught us little about the way to die or to grieve. Many who come into contact with the dying and the bereaved from other cultures are at a loss to know how to offer appropriate and sensitive support. This is a handbook with which to meet the needs of doctors, nurses, social workers, counsellors and others involved in the care of the dying and bereaved. The work describes the rituals and beliefs of major world religions; explains their psychological and historical context; shows how customs change on contact with the West; and considers the implications for the future. This book explores mourning traditions around the world with the aim of increasing the understanding, which we all bring to the issue of death.

Loss, Change and Grief: An Educational Perspective by Erica Brown

Publisher: David Fulton Publishers Ltd 1999

ISBN-10: 1853464651

This work aims to explore experience of loss, change and grief, and foster positive attitudes towards teaching and learning about these issues. It outlines the different beliefs and practices associated with death and dying, and aims to help adults understand how children grieve. Suggestions are provided of ways in which adults might include teaching about loss and change within the school curriculum, and ways in which professionals educating and caring for children can collaborate in their work.

Helping Children Cope with Grief: Facing a Death in the Family:

Overcoming Common Problems by Rosemary Wells

Publisher: Sheldon Press 1988

ISBN-10: 085969559X

Nothing can take away the pain and loss for a child who has lost someone close to them, but there is a great deal that a caring adult can do to avoid the long-term distress which can be caused by hidden fears and anxieties. This book also deals with the problems special to terminal illness or sudden death, and the misunderstandings that can arise from a well-meant remark.

Lost for Words: Loss and Bereavement Awareness Trai ning by John Holland,Ruth Dance, Nic Macmanus Carole Stitt

Publisher: Jessica Kingsley Publishers 2005

ISBN- 10 1843103249

Lost for Words is an innovative 'loss awareness' training package designed for teachers and carers supporting children who are experiencing bereavement, be it through death or any other kind of loss. Developed from collaborative multi-agency and multi-professional work with psychologists, educationalists, social workers and nurses, this package is designed for use by trainers over the course of a day, or over several days. It offers trainers and course delegate’s crucial guidance, soundly underpinned by research carried out with bereaved children and their parents, in schools, and by the 'Iceberg' project at the University of York. Divided into fundamental 'stand-alone' topics, from children's understanding of death and death as taboo to changes in learning and behaviour, these topic areas can be taught separately or together as required. The training is intended to be interactive and includes many group activities. All the required resources are included with the pack, including templates for OHP

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transparencies, handouts for trainees and a bibliography for further reading. This much-needed training package is an essential resource for teachers, social workers, psychologists and all those caring for and working with children.

Carrying the Elephant: A Memoir of Love and Loss by Michael Rosen

Publisher: Penguin Books Ltd 2002

ISBN- 10 0141010274

In 72 prose-poems Michael Rosen tells the story of a life: his left-wing Jewish upbringing, with baffling childhood trips to Trafalgar Square, eastern Europe and hospital, followed by trainee days at the B.B.C. under the watchful eyes of MI5, breakdown of a marriage, development of a new relationship and the joy of a new baby. And, in a core series of pieces, the central calamity of his life: the sudden death from meningitis of his 18 year-old son. "Rather you than me", said one of the neighbours on hearing the news - a remark that Rosen records, as he does much else to do with death, with surprised, painful honesty.

The Forgotten Mourners: Guidelines for Working with Bereaved Children by Sister Margaret Pennells and Susan C. Smith

Publisher: Jessica Kingsley Publishers Oct 1994

ISBN-10 1853022640

Children have long been the 'forgotten mourners'. This book attempts to raise awareness of the issues involved for bereaved children, highlighting their needs and their emotional and behavioural responses when bereavement occurs. Adults have to be made aware of the need to include children in the mourning process in a positive and non-threatening way. Each section gives easy access to the relevant information, and the books clear and concise presentation of practical guidelines will be of use to teachers, social workers and all those working in the field of child bereavement, particularly when faced with difficult situations. The book concludes with an outline of working methods and provides a useful resource list.

Grief and Bereavement by Ann Couldrick

Publisher: Sobell Publications 1986

ISBN-10 0951753703

The sensitive and simple language, complemented by equally simple though very effective graphics, make this a book that is very easy to read despite the difficult nature of the subject matter and it can offer comfort and support to people when they need it most.

Grief in Children: A Handbook for Adults by Atle Dy regrov

Publisher: Jessica Kingsley Publishers 1991

ISBN-10 185302113X

Many children experience the death of a relation or friend, or of other known adults or children. At such times it is important for parents, teachers, social workers and other responsible adults to know how to respond appropriately to the child's needs. This practical book explains children's understanding of death at different ages and gives a detailed outline of exactly how the adults around them can best help them cope with the death, whether it is of a parent or sibling, other relation or friend, or of class mate or teacher. The book deals with the whole range of responses, from those on the physical and pragmatic level to psychological

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reactions, which may be less obvious to the caring adult, and describes the methods that have been shown to work best. It addresses in depth the consequences of sudden and dramatic death, which can create more anxiety and give rise to more reactions than anticipated deaths.

Giving Sorrow Words: Managing Bereavement in School s - Professional Development for Teachers by Steve Killick, Stuart Lindeman

Publisher: Lucky Duck Publishing 1999

ISBN-10 1873942729

At any time a school will have a "bereavement temperature" - experiencing the effects of bereavement on staff and pupils. It is often difficult to know how to help. - What is the best way to deal with bad news and manage a potential crisis? - How can school members feel safe and acknowledged when they bring bereavement into school? - How can schools help children with complex and long-term challenges of a family bereavement? - How can support lessen the risk of learning, attendance, behaviour and work related problems? This video and training manual shows how schools can deal with these situations effectively. The message is simple; teachers can make a significant difference for children experiencing bereavement. It discusses the grief process and offers practical skills and techniques to improve teacher confidence and school effectiveness. The pack is suitable for all schools, primary and secondary. What do you get? The pack comprises a 35-minute video and a 54-page manual with photocopiable training material. The psychology of bereavement and practical helping skills are demonstrated and explained through dramatisation, practical tips and expert advice. The pack can be used for inset training, a source of information for staff or a basis for developing multi-professional work with other agencies. Giving Sorrow Words provides practical advice, guidance and support for everyone in school.

SCHOOLS AND OTHER SETTINGS Grief in School Communities: effective support stra tegies Louise Rowling (2003) Open University Press This book aims to help individuals and school communities to create environments in which grief, while a difficult experience, is seen as a normal life event. It demonstrates the components in a school that can be used to support grieving individuals in times of personal crisis and to support whole school communities when traumatic incidents occur. Childhood Bereavement: developing the curriculum and pastoral support Gill Frances and Nina Job (2004) National Children's Bureau Covering areas in the curriculum where death and bereavement can be introduced, this book also discusses ways of supporting bereaved pupils. It draws on good practice from a variety of schools, including a special school, and gives a selection of lesson plans. The Forgotten Mourners. Guidelines for working with bereaved children Susan C Smith (1999) Jessica Kingsley Publishers Aimed at teachers and social workers, this book outlines children's grieving at different ages , discusses secondary losses, and outlines some of the useful techniques which the adults around them can use in support.

ABOUT CHILDHOOD BEREAVEMENT Children and Grief: when a parent dies William Worden (2001) Guilford Press The volume presents major findings from the Harvard Child Bereavement Study and places them in the context of previous research, covering the wide range of normal variation in children's experience of grief and the factors that put bereaved children at risk. The book

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compares parentally bereaved children with those bereaved of a sibling or who have experienced divorce, exploring similarities and differences between these losses. A concluding section explores the clinical implications of the findings and includes a review of intervention models and activities, as well as a screening instrument designed to help identify high-risk bereaved children. Healing Children's Grief: Surviving a parent's deat h from cancer Grace Christ (2000) Oxford University Press Inc, US A Using qualitative analytic methods, this book identifies five developmentally derived age groups that clarify important differences in children's grief and mourning processes, in their understanding of events, their interactions with families, and their varying needs for help and support. The author gives numerous examples of the ways parents and extended family interacted with the children, and also the ways that professionals, friends, and many others help families deal with this experience.

ABOUT CHILDHOOD BEREAVEMENT SERVICES Interventions with Bereaved Children Susan C Smith and Margaret Pennells (1995) Jessica Kingsley Publishers A wide variety of practitioners and researchers in childhood bereavement have contributed in areas of individual work, family work, groupwork including residential models and work with specific groups including secondary school pupils, children with learning disabilities and children bereaved through the Hillsborough football tragedy. Then, Now and Always: supporting bereaved children as they journey through grief Julie Stokes (2004) Winston's Wish This guide for practitioners covers about the practical and theoretical aspects of running a community-based, child bereavement support service, giving specific details about the work of Winston's Wish, based in Gloucestershire. Brief Interventions with Bereaved Children Barbara Monroe and Frances Kraus (eds) (2004) Oxfor d University Press This book addresses and explains the theoretical concepts and practical implications behind the idea of brief work with bereaved children and families. Flexible and accessible short term services delivered at the right time underpin the strengths of bereaved children, supporting their recovery rather than pathologising the grief process. The book covers a range of interventions aiming to support children and families' resilience.

OTHER HELPFUL BOOKS (NOT DIRECTLY ABOUT DEATH) There are a number of books that do not directly deal with death or bereavement but may help the reader face difficult feelings. Angry Arthur By Hiawyn Oram & illustrated by Satoshi Kitamura, 1 993 Red Fox ISBN: 978-0099196617 Its time for bed but Arthur wants to stay up so he gets really angry. Every time someone tells him ‘that’s enough’ his anger gets bigger and bigger and takes over the world until he wonders why he was so angry in the first place. A wonderful imaginative story that many children (and adults) will be able to relate to.

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No Matter What By Debi Gliori, 2003 New Edition (Paperback) Bloomsbury Children’s Books ISBN: 978-0747563310 A rhyming story with large, bright pictures about Small, a young fox who is feeling cross because no one loves him. Large, then reassures him that she’ll love him no matter what. A fun and imaginative book that only briefly talks about death but would be a useful story to help support a young child through difficult times. Nothing By Mick Inkpen, New Edition 2006 Hodder Children’s Books ISBN: 978-0340918166 A ‘little thing’ has been stuck in the attic for so long, he has even forgotten its name. When the owners move house and leave him behind, he sets off on an adventure to discover who he really is. A lovely book about families and the feeling that you belong. It could be used in many situations, particularly with a child who is feeling unsettled. Nothing Scares Us By Frieda Wishinsky & illustrated by Neal Layton, 2 001 Bloomsbury Children’s Books ISBN: 978-0747550433 Lucy and Lenny are the ‘fearless two’, best friends who have all sorts of adventures. Lenny then starts watching a scary programme on TV, which gives Lucy nightmares and she dare not tell Lenny in case he laughs at her. With bright colourful pictures, this fun book is a comforting story about friendship and adventure. Something Else By Kathryn Cave & illustrated by Chris Riddell, 199 5 Puffin Books ISBN: 978-0140549072 Something Else doesn’t belong and has no one to be friends with, until one day Nothing knocks at his door and although they seem very different, they get along and become friends. These unusual looking characters capture the feelings of young people in a sensitive and fun way. A lovely book that could reassure children who feel unsettled within their peer group. Supposing By Frances Thomas & illustrated by Ross Collins, 19 99 Bloomsbury Children’s Books ISBN: 978-0747541738 Little Monster starts telling his mother a wonderfully imaginative but scary story about what might happen tomorrow. Mother then gives him an alternative, happier story and takes away his fears. This story is reassuring as well as fun and imaginative. The Huge Bag of Worries By Virginia Ironside & illustrated by Frank Rodgers , 1996 Hodder Wayland ISBN: 978-0340903179 Jenny begins to worry about lots of different things and these worries build up and get out of control. She just can’t get rid of them, until she meets the old lady next door who helps her feel better. A lovely story with fun illustrations encourages children to talk about their worries. Five Minutes’ Peace (The Large Family) By Jill Murphy, 2001 New Edition Walker Books ISBN: 978-0744581195 This humorous book with lovely detailed pictures tells the story of Mrs Large who is desperate for five minutes peace from her three children, but it is harder to find than she expects! A lovely book that can be enjoyed by both adults and children and may help to explain that every so often, grown-ups need time to themselves. There’s No Such Thing as a Dragon By Jack Kent Happy Cat Books ISBN: 978-1899248957 Billy wakes up to find a tiny dragon in his bedroom. His mother insists that there is no such thing as a dragon but the dragon gets bigger and bigger until it fills the whole house. When the family finally acknowledge that the dragon exists, it returns to its

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normal size. This colourful picture book is a useful tool to use with children to talk about difficult feelings and other issues that can increase when they are ignored. There are also many books where death is not the main focus of the story but features bereavement or the main character has been bereaved. These include: A Little Princess By Frances Hodgson Burnett & illustrated by Tasha Wordsworth Editions Ltd; New Edition ISBN: 978-1853261367 Bambi By Felix Salten, Aladdin Paperbacks; Reprint Edition (Jul 1988) ISBN: 978-0671666071 Charlotte’s Web By E. B. White & illustrated by Garth William Puffin Books (2003) ISBN: 978-0141317342 Danny the Champion of the World By Roald Dahl & illustrated by Quentin Blake Puffin Books (2007) ISBN: 978-0141322674 Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone By J. K. Rowling Bloomsbury Children’s Books ISBN: 978-0747532743 James and the Giant Peach By Roald Dahl & illustrated by Quentin Blake Puffin Books (2001) ISBN: 978-0141311357 Little Women By Louisa May Alcott, CRW Publishing Limited; New edition (2004) ISBN: 978-1587261329 Oliver Twist By Charles Dickens, Penguin Books (2003) ISBN: 978-0141439747 The Secret Garden By Frances Hodgson Burnett, Wordsworth Editions Ltd (1993) ISBN: 978-1853261046

Games The Good Mourning Game by Creative Therapy Store This can be played with a therapist and 1-3 children. Suitable for ages 6 – 18 years. The Grief Game by Searle Y Streng I Jessica Kingsley 1996

This is a therapeutic board game for children and adolescents who have experienced any bereavement.

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BOOKS FOR FAMILIES WHEN SOMEONE IS SERIOUSLY ILL Flamingo Dream By Donna Jo Napoli & illustrated by Cathie Felstead , 2002 Greenwillow Books ISBN: 978-0688167 967 This bright and colourful book is told by a young boy whose Dad is seriously ill and dies soon after a trip to Florida to see the place where he grew up. The collage style illustrations capture the things the boy collects to remind him of his Dad. A sensitive but honest book, which emphasises the importance of memories. Losing Uncle Tim By Mary Kate Jordan & illustrated by Judith Friedma n, 1989 Albert Whitman & Company ISBN: 978-0807547564 This picture book for slightly older children explains how a young boy accepts the changes in his life when he finds out that his Uncle Tim has AIDS and is going to die. It is a serious and sensitive book that covers lots of issues and difficult feelings that can occur when someone has a serious illness. The Secret C By Julie A. Stokes & illustrated by Peter Bailey, 2 000 Winston’s Wish ISBN: 978-0-9539123-0-8 The Secret C – straight talking about cancer, attempts to answer some of the questions and worries a child may have about cancer, especially when it involves someone in the family. This reassuring book will help adults and children to talk about the difficult issues and feelings involved when someone is seriously ill and briefly talks about the possibility of death. Two Weeks with the Queen By Morris Gleitzman & illustrated by Andy Bacha, 19 99 Puffin Books ISBN: 978-0141303000 Twelve-year-old Colin, an Australian boy, is sent to stay with relatives in England when his brother becomes ill with cancer. He is determined to find a way of curing his brother, which leads him into all sorts of adventures including trying to visit the Queen! Colin finds a friend in an older man named Ted who helps him express his feelings and understand what he has to do. (Also available in audiocassette.) When someone has a very Serious Illness: 1991(work book) Children can learn to cope with Loss and Change By Marge Heegard) Woodland Press ISBN: 978-0962050244 Aiming to be used weekly, over a number of sessions, this workbook will help families communicate and teach children about illness and coping skills. With simple, clear writing and plenty of space for children to draw and colour, it covers areas such as change, feelings and looking after oneself. It also has suggestions for how adults can help children as well as useful addresses and additional reading. As Big As It Gets: Supporting a child when a parent is seriously ill Julie Stokes & Diana Crossley, 2007 Winston’s Wish ISBN: 978-0-9539123-9-1 An information booklet to help families cope with the serious illness of a parent. It provides a range of ideas for parents or carers so that they feel more able to explain to their children what is happening, giving some suggestions to what parents might say to children and how to offer support. I Carried You On Eagles’ Wings Sue Mayfield, Scholastic Point 1995 ISBN: 978-0590559393 Tony’s mum is dying and there’s nothing he can do about it. He can’t always put on a brave face and his dad won’t talk about things. Only Clare seems to understand – somehow she helps him keep it together. Then Tony finds an injured seagull, a creature he can nurse back to health. And, slowly, gradually, Tony begins to understand that death can sometimes bring freedom…..

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BOOKS FOR FAMILIES BEREAVED THROUGH SUICIDE Up on Cloud Nine By Anne Fine, 2006 Corgi Children’s ISBN: 978-0552554657 Stol falls out of a top floor window and ends up unconscious in hospital with lots of broken bones and no-one knows whether it was attempted suicide or an accident. This book is written from the perspective of his best friend Ian whilst he is sitting by his bedside. He recalls all the fun times they have had together as well as acknowledging the slightly different way Stol sees the world. Ian captures the emotions of his own adoptive parents as well as Stol’s family and the hospital staff in an amusing yet moving way illustrating how Stol has had an inspirational effect on everyone. (Also available in audiocassette) Beyond the Rough Rock: Supporting a child who has been bereaved through su icide By Diana Crossley & Julie Stokes, 2008 Winston’s Wish ISBN: 978-0-95139123-7-7 An information booklet offering practical advice for families where someone has died by suicide. It aims to give parents and professionals the confidence to involve children in discussions about the nature of death by suicide. It also includes activities for children to do with the family to stat making sense of what has happened. Ostrich Boys By Keith Gray Definitions 2008 ISBN: 978-0099456575 It's not really kidnapping, is it? He'd have to be alive for it to be proper kidnapping.' Kenny, Sim and Blake are about to embark on a remarkable journey of friendship. Stealing the urn containing the ashes of their best friend Ross, they set out from Cleethorpes on the east coast to travel the 261 miles to the tiny hamlet of Ross in Dumfries and Galloway. After a depressing and dispiriting funeral they feel taking Ross to Ross will be a fitting memorial for a 15 year-old boy who changed all their lives through his friendship. Little do they realise just how much Ross can still affect life for them even though he's now dead. Drawing on personal experience Keith Gray has written an extraordinary novel about friendship, loss and suicide, and about the good things that may be waiting just out of sight around the corner...

BOOKS ABOUT THE DEATH OF A NEW BABY

Fathers Feel Too: A Book For Men On Coping With The Death Of A Baby By Andrew Don

Available from the Stillbirth and Neonatal Death Society (S.A.N.D.S) Fathers Feel Too is a new book available from the Stillbirth and Neonatal Death Society written by veteran journalist and poet Andrew Don whose baby Lara Jean died during the fifth month in the womb. For generations, men have been expected to keep a stiff upper lip and to hold it together for wives and partners. Now for the first time, men speak openly about the pain of losing a baby and describe how, several years down the line, they have worked through their grief and found new joy in their lives. It is useful reading for medical professionals, support service providers, men and all those who love them. Fathers Feel Too is disturbing, it is heart- wrenching and an education, but above all it is a book of hope.

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When a Baby Dies: The Experience of Late Miscarriag e, Stillbirth and Neonatal Death by S.A.N.D.S

A book offering support for bereaved parents. Describes the experience of bereavement and gives advice on coping. It is also useful to professionals in explaining what parents are going through. Available from S.A.N.D.S.

No New Baby By Marilyn Gryte & illustrated by Kristi McClendon, 1988 Centering Corporation ISBN: 978-1561230419 Recently revised, this book tells the story of a young girl whose sister died before birth. She talks about the preparations they were making for the new baby and the different feelings she now has. Her Grandmother takes her out for the day and tries to answer some of her questions. This book is American and not particularly informative but there are very few books about the death of a baby and some young children may find this one reassuring. My book about our baby that died By Lynda Weiss, 1996 Greenfield Publishing ISBN: 978-0952332831 This is a workbook for young children who have experienced the death of a baby sibling. With pictures that can be coloured in and spaces for children to draw pictures and fill in answers to questions it covers topics such as hospitals, saying goodbye and feelings. It is a simple book that does not go into great depth but could be a good starting point for a child and adult to communicate about the death. Stillbirth & Neonatal Death Society (SANDS) Website: www.uk-sands.org Helpline: 020 7436 5881 SANDS provide support for parents and families whose baby is stillborn or dies soon after birth, including a range of leaflets and books for adults.

BOOKS FOR ADULTS SUPPORTING A BEREAVED CHILD A Child’s Grief: Supporting a child when someone in their family has died By Julie Stokes, Diana Crossley, Katrina Alilovic & Di Stubbs. Winston’s Wish, New Edition 2008 ISBN: 978-0-9559539-0-3 A useful and informative introduction for any adult who is supporting a child through bereavement. Covering a variety of issues that may affect a child when a person close to them dies, both immediately and in the longer term, the booklet also offers practical activities to do together and a section on further reading and support. Grief in Children: A Handbook for Adults By Atle Dyregov, 1 Edition 2008 Jessica Kingsley Pu blishers ISBN: 978-1843106500 This is a very practical and useful book written for adults to help them understand how children feel when someone important in their life dies. It covers areas such as children’s grief reactions at different developmental levels, sex differences and different types of death. It makes many useful suggestions about how children can be helped to cope with their grief in an open, honest and positive way. Talking about Death: A Dialogue Between Parent and Child By Earl A. Grollman, 1991 Beacon Press, ISBN: 978-0 807023631 This guide for parents recognises that many adults find it hard to honestly and openly explain death to children, especially when faced with their own grief. It includes quotes and examples from other parents and suggestions of what to say to a child as well as general advice.

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SAD BOOK Written By Michael Rosen, Illustrated by Quentin Bl ake. Walker Books Ltd 2008 ISBN: 978-1406313161 We all have sad stuff - maybe you have some right now, as you read this. What makes Michael Rosen most sad is thinking about his son, Eddie, who died. In this book he writes about his sadness, how it affects him and some of the things he does to try to cope with it. Whether or not you have known what it's like to feel really deeply sad, its truth will surely touch you. And When Did You Last See Your Father By Blake Morrison, 2006 Granta Books ISBN: 978-1862079083 The book tells of how Dr Morrison’s life slowly slips away during the last few weeks of his life. Interspersed with this are the authors recollections of his father, who whilst being a difficult man at times, always remained a loving husband and father. The author is at all times open and honest - sometimes brutally so - and lays open his feelings for all to share. One of the strengths of the book is that whilst it is about the death of a loved one it never gets too mawkish or sentimental and remains at all times a good read

BOOKS FOR FAMILIES BEREAVED THROUGH MURDER Hope Beyond The Headlines: supporting a child berea ved through murder or manslaughter By Di Stubbs, Danny Nugus & Kate Gardner Winston’s Wish 2008, ISBN: 978-0-9559539-1-0 This book offers practical advice for families in the immediate days, weeks and months following a murder. It is written for both parents and professionals, giving them the confidence to involve children and young people in understanding and managing the particular difficulties and complexities that so often surround a death by murder or manslaughter. The booklet includes child-friendly activities to do with children or as a family to help them to make sense of what happened and to begin to express their grief. Teachers Dead By Benjamin Zephaniah Bloomsbury Publishing PLC 200 7 ISBN: 978-0747586098 A teacher is dead, murdered by two of his students in front of the school. He was a good man. People liked him. So how could this happen? Why? It just doesn't make sense to Jackson, and he is determined to investigate the case until he understands. Benjamin Zephaniah has, once again, chosen a topical and hard-hitting subject - and he deals with it in his own uniquely empathetic and edgy way. The Dougy Center: The National Center for Grieving Children and Families 2002 ISBN: 978-1890534073 After a murder: A workbook for grieving kids www.dougy.org

With Acknowledgement to Winston’s Wish (the charity for bereaved children)

and East Sussex Community Health Services NHS

and their Suggested Reading Lists

Documents

DIRECTORY OF BEREAVEMENT AND LOSS - East Sussex · East Sussex Whole of Kent South East London Telephone 01795 845216 E-mail [email protected] Registered Charity No 1039651