DETAILS IN THE DETAILS IN THE DESCRIPTIONDESCRIPTION

Brooklyn Technical High SchoolBrooklyn Technical High SchoolFreshman CompositionFreshman CompositionMr. WilliamsMr. Williams

Learning Objective:

Use a range of organizational strategies to present information.

To practice the convention of Standard Written English

Common Core Standards:

W.9-10.3. Use a variety of techniques to sequence events so that they build on one another to create a coherent whole.

L.9-10.1. Demonstrate command of the conventions of standard English grammar and usage when writing or speaking.

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Learning about Dangling Modifiers to learn

strategies for revising dangling modifiers.

Correct dangling modifiers using Correcting Dangling Modifiers.

Homework: Homework: Correcting Correcting Dangling Dangling ModifiersModifiers

New WordsNew Words

Spelling Words

consciousness

endeavor

Vocabulary Words

audacious (adj.) Audac in Latin means daring The prefix –ous means full of Nowhere in the world would such an audacious

 proposal ever have seen the light of the day. extremely bold or daring; recklessly brave;

fearless

audit (v.) an official examination and verification of

accounts and records, especially of financial accounts.

They'll even send a team of experts in to do an operational audit  to assess a store's efficiency.

Revise the following

“flat” descriptive

sentence:

I saw a beautiful sunrise.

Rewrite it as a detailed

“rich” descriptive

paragraph of 5-6

sentences.

Motivational Motivational Activity: Activity:

Motivational Motivational Activity: Activity:

Revise the flat descriptive sentence: I saw a beautiful sunrise.

And now, a rich descriptive paragraph:

Early this morning, as I walked along the sandy beach, I saw the sun rise slowly out of the ocean. At first, the ocean looked red. Then, it turned slowly to pink, to aqua, and finally to blue. As I stood watching the sun, I heard the waves hit the shore, and I felt the cold water swirl around my toes. For a moment, even the small grey and white birds that ran along the shore seemed to stop and watch the dazzling sight.

The AdjectiveThe Adjective

In the sentence, “This bowl of hot soup is delicious.”, how many adjectives are used?

In the sentence, “ Jorge drew a picture of a duck and a chicken.”, how many adjectives are used?

A word or phrase the modifies/describes a person, place, or thing, by telling what kind, which one, how many, or which one.

What kind? Which one? How many? How much?

Brown shoes Those cars Ten boxes Some water

English tea First step Several books Less time

Up-to-date look

Last one Many students Enough money

Descriptive Descriptive AdjectivesAdjectives

For each of the following sentences, replace the underlined adjective with vivid, descriptive ones.

Well-chosen adjectives can make writing more colorful and descriptive.

1.The terrible storm caught the town by surprise.

2.That group makes great music.3.His nice smile makes everyone feel better.4.They have a cute kitchen.5.I wouldn’t mind having an old car.

Descriptive Descriptive AdjectivesAdjectives

For each of the following sentences, replace the underlined adjective with vivid, descriptive ones.

Well-chosen adjectives can make writing more colorful and descriptive.

1.The catastrophic storm caught the town by surprise.

2.That group makes foot-tapping music.3.His sincere smile makes everyone feel better.4.They have a charming country kitchen.5. I wouldn’t mind having an antique car.

The AdverbThe Adverb

Adverbs Modifying Verbs: Marian Anderson performed (magnificently; earlier; there; widely.)

A word or phrase that modifies/describes a verb, and adjective, or another adverb. An adverb tells how, when, where, or to what extent.

Adverbs Modifying Adjectives: The players are exceptionally skillful.

Adverbs Modifying Other Adverbs: Andre reacted to the news rather calmly.

Descriptive AdverbsDescriptive Adverbs

A word or phrase that modifies/describes a verb, and adjective, or another adverb. An adverb tells how, when, where, or to what extent.

Descriptive writing avoids overused adverbs such as very, really, and so.

1.The lions were very hungry after their unsuccessful hunt.

2.In the land of the Lilliputians, Gulliver appears really tall.

3.So many people were waiting in line for tickets.

Descriptive AdverbsDescriptive Adverbs

A word or phrase that modifies/describes a verb, and adjective, or another adverb. An adverb tells how, when, where, or to what extent.

Descriptive writing avoids overused adverbs such as very, really, and so.

1.The lions were ravenous after their unsuccessful hunt.

2.In the land of the Lilliputians, Gulliver appears gigantic.

3.Hundreds of people were waiting in line for tickets.

Misplaced and Dangling Misplaced and Dangling ModifiersModifiers

Modifiers should be placed as close as possible to the word it is supposed to describe.

Misplaced Modifier:After selecting a college, my mother took me on a trip to visit the campus.After my mother selected a college for me to attend, she took me on a trip to visit the campus.After I selected a college to attend, my mother took me on a trip to visit the campus.

Dangling Modifier:After selecting a college, a trip to the campus was planned.After we selected a college, my mother and I planned a trip to the campus.

Misplaced and Dangling Misplaced and Dangling ModifiersModifiers

Modifiers should be placed as close as possible to the word it is supposed to describe.

Misplaced Modifier:After shopping all night long, my mother gave me a Christmas present.After my mother shopped all night long, she gave me a Christmas gift.After I shopped all night long, my mother gave me a Christmas gift.

Dangling Modifier:After shopping all night long, the presents were wrapped and placed under the Christmas tree.After we shopped all night long, my mother and I wrapped the presents and placed them under the Christmas tree.

The Descriptive VerbThe Descriptive Verb

Descriptive writing usually contains fewer linking verbs.

A word that expresses an action or a state of being.

Flat Descriptions:

1.The rose smelled sweet.2.The clouds became black.3.The white dove soaring toward the clouds looked angelic.

Rich Descriptions:

1.The heady scent of the blooming rose penetrated my senses.2.The looming clouds thundered an ominous warning.3.The angel dove soared toward the luminous clouds.

Writing a Descriptive Writing a Descriptive ParagraphParagraph

There are two kinds of descriptive paragraphs: objective and descriptive.

Most descriptive paragraphs mix objective description with subjective descriptions.

The Lincoln Memorial was built to celebrate American democracy. In front of the monument is a long marble staircase that leads from a reflecting pool to the memorial’s entrance. Thirty-six columns surround the building. Inside the house are three rooms. The first room contains the nineteen-foot statue of Lincoln. Seated in a chair, Lincoln looks exhausted after the long Civil War. One of Lincoln’s hands is a fist, showing his strength, and the other is open, showing his kindness. On either side of the first room are the other two rooms. Carved on the wall of the second room is the Gettysburg Address. On the wall of the third room is the Second Inaugural Address. Above the Gettysburg Address is a mural showing an angel freeing the slaves. Above the Second Inaugural Address is another mural, which shows the people of the North and the South coming back together. As its design shows, the Lincoln Memorial was built to celebrate both the sixteenth president and the nation’s struggle for democracy.

Writing a Descriptive Writing a Descriptive ParagraphParagraph

There are two kinds of descriptive paragraphs: objective and descriptive.

Most descriptive paragraphs mix objective description with subjective descriptions.

My uncle Manuel is a strong but gentle person who took care of my mother and me when my father died. Manuel, or Manny, as his friends and family call him, is over six feet tall. This is unusual for a Mexican of his generation. The first thing that most people notice about my uncle Manny is his eyes. They are large and dark brown, almost black. They make him look very serious. When he laughs, however, the sides of his eyes crinkle up and he looks warm and friendly. Another thing that stands out is his nose, which is long and straight. My mother says it makes uncle Manny look strong and distinguished. The most interesting thing about uncle Manny is his hands. Even though he hasn’t worked as a stonemason since he opened his own construction company ten years ago, his hands are still rough and scared from carrying stones. No matter how much he tries, he can’t get rid of the dirt under the skin of his fingers. Uncle Manny’s hands are big and rough, but they’re also gentle and comforting. To me, they show what he really is: a strong and gentle man.

Descriptive Writing Descriptive Writing MattersMatters

Anyone who has ever answered a classified ad for a "charming" apartment--only to schedule a tour and discover chartreuse shag carpets and leaky plumbing--knows why descriptive writing matters. Likewise, victims of online dating disasters understand all too well the gap between vague, flattering profiles and vivid, not-so-flattering reality. Whether you want to email a friend about the cute new barista at the corner coffee shop or write the Great American Novel, you need to know the basics of descriptive writing.

Descriptive Writing Descriptive Writing MattersMatters

Descriptive writing engages the senses--sight, touch, taste, sound and smell. It makes it possible for your readers to experience places, people and things they have never before encountered. For example, even if they have never tasted Thai sweet chili sauce, a good restaurant review can tickle their taste buds. Descriptions also allow readers to step into your shoes and see the world through your eyes--or through the eyes of characters you create. This sparks emotions, generates empathy and keeps readers invested in your story or ideas. It also conveys authenticity. Say you write a travel article about a winter holiday in Portland, Oregon, but never once describe the famous bridges spanning the Willamette River. Readers who have visited or lived there might wonder if you know your stuff--especially since Portland goes by the nickname "Bridge City.”

Descriptive Writing Descriptive Writing MattersMatters

Misconceptions:

Many people associate descriptive writing with fiction and poetry, but descriptive writing can pop up anywhere. When police file a report, they describe suspects and scenes. Doctors describe patients' symptoms in medical charts. Teens gossip about peers' outfits. You even use descriptive writing in cover letters to prospective employers.By Karen Murdock

Writing a Descriptive Writing a Descriptive ParagraphParagraph

Working in a group of three, generate ideas to convey three dominate impressions of Brooklyn Technical High School.

Each person in the group must take one the impressions and write a descriptive paragraph. No two members should take the same impression.

For example, a group might describe the size of the school, the workload, and the student life.