Depression is Not Sadness

7/25/2019 Depression is Not Sadness

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6/16/2016 Depression is Not Sadness. | elephant journal

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Via Erica Leibrandton Dec 24, 2015

Depression is Not Sadness.

Depression is not sadness. It is emptiness.

Depression is not being unhappy, it is being numb.

It is not anger or desperation or fear or even loneliness (though it is also all of these things.)

Depression is not a feeling. It is nothingness. A void where nothing grows or changes, where time does not exist,

where dark is the only color, where no one else lives.

Depression is not a state of mind, it is a place. Its a place we stumble into sometimes unwittingly, a black hole

yawning widely on an otherwise normal day. Once there, as in a corn maze in an unlit night, we can wander

endlessly, perhaps never nding the way out. The black hole becomes seductive, it seeps into our bones, and we

learn that it is us and we are it, and it was the ordinary day t hat was the ction.

~

*Dear elephant reader: if youre single &looking for mindful dating or conscious love, try

out our lovelypartner, MeetMindful.

~

Snap out if it! we say to depressed people, as if our wish that they feel okay, feel normal, really could be enough

to xthe problem. Why areyou depressed?You haveeverything in the worldgoing for you! Youre young, youre

beautiful, youre healthy, you have people who love you.

True, comes the mumbled response, and for just a moment, guilt tries to pile in on the nothingness and make it

somethingness, but then it recedes again, sucked back into the hole.

How can I help you? What do you need? we cry out, frustrated. On the other side of depression, action is always

the cure. Take a walk, call a friend, just get up and move!

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But depression doesnt release its victims so easily. It lays upon them like an enormous leaden x-ray apron,

pressing down, slowing heart rates to a weak t hump thump, turning thoughts to formless shadows that sit, as a

stone sits at the bottom of a stagnant, muddy river.

Even if we understand depression, when we are not ourselves in it, the depressed are as astronauts untethered

from their ship, oating and paralyzed in space, unreachable, lost. How do we cross that gaping void which reaches

out in all directions without losing the way ourselves?

Things that help:

Be with a depressed person in silence. Lay down next to them. You can even read a book silently to yourself. Dont

focus on them, just be there. Let them absorb your energy. Sometimes that is enough.

Dont tell a depressed person what to do. Just say you love them, even when they are in the dark place. Say it

quietly and bravely. Dont get upset if they cant say it back.

Remember for the depressed person, even if they cant remember it themselves (and they probably cant), that

this will not last forever, though it seems as if it will. Do not tell them this, simply sit in knowing.

If the depressed person will allow it, tenderly brush back their hair. If your touch is rejected, try not to take it

personallyit is simply too overwhelming in that moment. Youll get another chance.

Depression is a disease of isolation and paralysisits grip is strong, its nature shy. Like a feral cat, it doesnt

respond well to clumsy intervention. But like such a cat, a patient heart and a steady hand can sometimes be the

magic spell that t ames it, until the next time night falls.

Relephant:

F*ck You, Depression.

The Side of Depression & Anxiety that NoOne Talks About.

Relephant bonus:

10 Basic Salves for Burn-Out & Everyday Depression.

Author: Erica Leibrandt

Ashleigh Hitchcock Brandon Gilbert

Eric Klein Hilda Carroll

Jayson Gaddis Jerry Stocking

Julie Bernier Kate Evans

Kate Rose Michelle Sweezey

Rachel AstarteRebecca Lammersen

Ricardo das Neves Ryan van Duzer

Sarah Harvey Theo Horesh

Waylon LewisYoli Ramazzina
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Editor: Rene Picard

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Erica Leibrandtis a certied Yoga instructor, Reiki practitioner, vegan cook and mother

to six heathens who masquerade as innocent children. She aims to apply the principles

of Yoga to real life. Between writing, teaching and studying to earn her master's degree

in clinical counseling from Northwestern University, she spends her time being walked

by her dogs and trying to dream up an alternative to doing the laundry. If she

occasionally nds herself with a fried egg on her plate or dancing until dawn, she asks

that you not judge her. Life is short, she knows the chicken that laid the egg and you

can never dance too much. You can connect with Erica on Facebook, Twitterand Tumbl

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24 weeks ago

Thanks, Erica, for really accurately describing what a depression feels like from the inside. I've experiencedseveral acute, severe depressions through the years, and even though I'd prefer not to, I have to takeprescription antidepressants to keep it at bay. Without them, the depression comes back to consume me.

1 reply active 24 weeks ago

24 weeks ago

Artemis, As do I. And as much as I hate taking drugs to feel normal, I am grateful that I can. Clinicaldepression is hell on earth.

24 weeks ago

The best explanation of depression I've heard ever... Thanks.


24 weeks ago

70,952 views

2 Comments Sort by

Seph J Donegan Wappingers Falls, New York

This is probably the most accurate description of depression that I have ever read. People

think I'm down and that I need to cheer up, I tell them that there is no down or up. There is

nothing and after a lifetime of pain, I can live with nothing. I sometimes wonder what kind ofworld can make a person believe that they are a machine as a coping mechanism. It is

somewhere between insanity and sanity, being to far gone and having total peace of mind.

And t here is nothing else I can do but live it .

Like Reply 2 May 17, 2016 4:20pm

Margare t Lytle

First time viewer. Thank you for your advic e.

Like Reply Jun 12, 2016 9:56pm

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6/7



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Thank you.

24 weeks ago

beautifully written.


24 weeks ago

Shelley, thank you.

24 weeks ago

Erica, thank you for your description of depression. I have never heard it described that way, but it hit my heartas such. I have fought depression for so many years. I too, take meds. to help to make me feel normal. I stillhave bouts, but can eventually get myself out of them. I am going to share you article with my younger sister,so she can better understand what is happening to her, & why others cannot understand. Thank you!


24 weeks ago

Diane, I'm really glad you've been able to nd some relief. As you no doubt know, depression is also a familydisease. I'm sure your sister will appreciate your compassion towards her and wish to help.

24 weeks ago

My depression makes me feel like a ghost just moving in this physical body but lifeless inside. Almost like livingin limbo; another empty realm of a strange existence.


24 weeks ago

Yes Kim, that's it exactly.

24 weeks ago

Thanks Erica. You know what you're talking about, and write very well. Reading it wont cure me, but it's givenme a better understanding of how things are. Thank you. Rick XX


24 weeks ago

Rick, thank you. Sometimes just understanding the nature of the beast can provide a sense of relief.

24 weeks ago

So since I get extended spells of feeling angry and or sad, maybe it's not really depression? Hmm. Makes sensesince I feel those feelings less and less, the more the things I've been working toward nally come together inmy life.


24 weeks ago

Guesy, I'd say that's probably right. I think you can experience anger and sadness as a depressed person, butnot when the depression is acute. Then all emotions seems to drain away and what's left behind is just aterrible blank. If you don't have that sense occasionally, then what you struggle with might be somethingother than depression.

24 weeks ago

Thank you for the gift I feel this article is. You have beautifully articulated feelings & thoughts I have been unableto. Thank you again.


24 weeks ago

Lea Ann, Thank you for reading and letting me know my words meant something to you. I'm sending lots oflove.


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22 weeks ago

Unfortunately, you have assumed that those in the grips of depression HAVE someone in their life who will "sit"with them, "lie" with them, "read" to them etc. That's not a resolution for someone who has no-one in their lives- other than those saying "Go for a walk", "Get over it" etc. This is not news to them...

22 weeks ago

I think this is a little too generalized. Yes depression is feeling numb, but for me, depression is feeling sad too.Saying that depression is NOT sadness feels like an attempt to invalidate my experience of depression (which Iknow it isn't, but hey, irrational brain and all).

As a whole the article is a good read though!

22 weeks ago

I usually don't post on these things but I have to after I read this. I have been mired in a vicious battle withdepression that has been going on 3 1/2 years now. I think I've always had it but this bout is killing me. Medsand therapy is doing some good but lately I feel like I'm slipping back into the abyss. I have few friends and havealways had a dicult time making them. My story is long and I know others have it worse than me. I'm reallyafraid that I'm going to lose this battle with depression hut I don't have a whole lot of ght left in me. Thank youfor your time.

2 replies active 22 weeks ago

22 weeks ago

I'm not sure where you are but please call someone. Samaritans, Lifeline...there are people just a phonecallaway who care and will listen to you. You've opened up here, you can do it again. You matter. All the best x

22 weeks ago

David, believe me, you start taking one hour walk in downtown area and just meditate on the thought ofbeing this awesome universe. See that you are a part of it and this and if this part goes energy less thenwhole universe gets eected. We all are a form of this one energy. Today this form and tomorrow someother form. So just y high without any good or bad feeling. After a month of walk and meditation you willlaugh at the v ery name of depression.

13 weeks ago

This is an amazing description of the black hole some of us fall into. It took me SO long to dig myself out of mydark place..so many tears..so many numb days...I wasted so many years feelong empty.. it took a long time butthe feeling you get when you nally realize that the sadness you felt was actually depression and that it wasntyou giving up on life and the endless thoughts quiet down... and you nally see the sun and want to beproductive and you can imagine a future (I'm rambling) but I loved this article... it hit a chord... bottom line. . Imyhappy nally I feel normal ..it takes days months years sometimes but it does get better. .so to anyone whoreads this...from experience I'll tell you ...NEVER GIVE UP. .DONT GIVE UP. .. KEEP DIGGING UNTIL YOU FINDYOUR WAY OUT...It's worth it...trust.

13 weeks ago

Dear Erica & dear peeps,

Thank you for the article! However, I am trying to nd the way out from the things I am experiencing now..Maybe any of you have an idea or can share a similar experience? I am not sure which came rst in my case -depression or my chronic 24/7 headaches. I have always been sensitive etc, but I would not say I had a puredepression as such before. However, now I have these continuous headaches and on top I am continuously sickwith a complicated cold. I am seeing a psychotherapist, but I feel I also need/want to do something on my ownto get out of this all. In all the articles how to cope with depression naturally it is written - go meet friends, goexercise, travel, try to have fun, etc. And I do agree with that! I wanna do that all! I know t hat would do good forme. Until now I always helped myself in this way! But how can I do this all when I am experiencing this physicalpain, continuously having a cold and so no energy at all? Exercise - no energy, friends - 100% preoccupied withmy pain, etc etc. Or is it that I am just lying to myself?? I am even not working anymore because of myheadaches. I only see doctors and my four walls in the room. My psychologist says that all my physicalsymptoms come from depression that I had/have. But I question if only those sessions with her and not doinganything on my own are going to help me!? I would be glad, dear people, if anybody of you have anysuggestions to share..

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Depression is Not Sadness