DEKANOVA KNJIGA Advanced Students’ Guide

8/12/2019 DEKANOVA KNJIGA Advanced Students Guide

1/38

Advanced Students Guide

HOW TO TRICK YOUR TEACHER

or

How to Become te

TO! STU"E#T

Witout Stud$in%

B$

&u'ti('e )'un*


2/38

Tis +oo* I dedicate to

THE )RESH&A#

)or e *nows not wat es doin%

Autor


3/38

Wat is a co''e%e,

A co''e%e is an institution o- Hi%H education

Co''e%e is e'd in i% esteem.

. +$ tose wo never enro''ed..and te dead'iest curse -or te teacer.

.is wat is students.

.tin* o- teir co''e%e.

A-ter a wi'e.

.Te$ a'' -ee' te same.

.-or it is not (ossi+'e.

.to ide wat te co''e%e unearts/

A co''e%e is a ome..were one can.

.Ac0uire a 'ot/

A 'ot.

.in a 'ot o- time.

.intensive'$.

.and a+ove a''.

.unnecessari'$/


4/38

W$ to Enro'' at A !ARTICU1AR Co''e%e

One enro''s at a co''e%e -or a num+er o- sound reasons and at 'east a sin%'e stu(id one

Sound reasons2You dont need to wor* ard/

Or at 'east not re%u'ar'$/

You remain c'ose to ome/You dont trow awa$ te +oo*s.

. $ou %ot -rom $our e'der +roter/

Because a'' te i% scoo' +uddies did it as we''/

Crossin% te street was suc a +ore/Te$ ave a %ood ca-eteria/

A %ood wa$ to -ind a us+and 3at te Tecnica' Co''e%e4.

. or a wi-e 3&edica' Scoo'4.

Your mama enro''ed $ou/Your documents wi'' +e sa-e tere/

You can (ost(one %oin% to te arm$.. ti'' te wars (ass/

To %ain te time/

You %et a nice students +oo*'et/Your -o'*s can %o +ra%%in% around.

. a+out avin% a student at ome/

3unti' te -irst e5ams6 o- course4/

You ad two (otos remainin% -rom ma*in% te (ass(ort.. and te$re not %ood enou% to +e %iven to $our %ir'-riend/

!ossi+'e stu(id reasons2You 'ove it/

To 'earn sometin%/

To wise'$ use.. $our -ree time/

To +e use-u'.

. to te communit$/

To %et inte''ectua''$ en%a%ed/To +e te +est student o- te %eneration/

To %et ric/

To +ecame an e5(ert/Yet.

. te u'timate stu(id reason.

. is not avin% a sin%'e one.

. smart reason/


5/38


6/38

I- $ou dont +e'ieve te word o- te street

3And i- $ou do $ou want to cec* it out4

Wen $ou -ina''$ %et it..$ou'' curse 7ust as +ad.

./ Te 'ac* o- conviction and too muc curiosit$/

Geo%ra($

Is a coice

O- tose wo cannot..trave' around te wor'd.

. at teir own e5(ense/

Wen te$ (a$ -or a'' te e5(enses.

./o- -ree education.

. te$ wi'' understand.

. tat it wou'dve +een cea(er.

. i- te$ went to Hawai.

A%ricu'ture

Is %ood -or2Cu'tivation/

)ami'$ roots in te rura' environment/

Te +ro%ues.. inerited -rom $our %rand-ater/

)or te "utc -armers do it.

. and $our nei%+ors son didnt/

I- $ou 'i*e to sit in te A''e$ o- te Greats/I- $oure orticu'tura'/

E'ectrica' En%ineerin%Is interestin%2

I- $ou %ot e'ectri-ied.

. so teres a sort circuit in $our ead/Because it is eas$ to -ind a 7o+ in Canada.

. #ew 8ea'and6 Austra'ia6 USA.

. 'uc*i'$6 not ere/

9Cos ever since Tes'a 'e-t.. tin%s avent can%ed ere/

As $ou ave no idea were to turn tese +astards o--/

Because $ou want to -i5 te iron.. and not trow it awa$/

1aw

Is cosen2

)or a'' te -orrrrma'''''' '''''''e%a''''' reasons/

Because $ou want to ave.


7/38

. enou% time.

. -or oter tin%s in 'i-e/

Because $oure -ed u( wit onest$/9Cos 7ustice is s'ow.

. so $ou ave time to.

. snatc 'oads o- mone$ -rom tose wo wait -or it/9Cos te$ want o(inions and not *now'ed%e/

To -inis Ka-*as !rocess/

1iterature

Is -or2

1iterar$ Critics/

Accountants/Boo* Binders/

Boo* Se''ers/

Boo* 'overs/

Bi+'iomaniacs/Boo* eaters/

Boo* worms/#ever -or writers/

)or a'' tose wo wi'' ma*e a 'ivin% on +oo*s.

. and not tose wo 'ive -or te +oo*/

Econom$

is -or $ou i-

$ou want to +e an e5(ert ust'er/Tat is6 i- $ou want to stea'.

. witout +ein% cau%t/

You want to use $ou *now'ed%e o- mat .. in a (ractica' manner/

Youre wi''in% to 'earn.

. a+out a'' mista*es weve made so -ar.

. so tat $ou can do te same in -uture.

. witout ma*in% te mista*es/

!s$co'o%$Is -or tose

Wo o(e.

. to e5('ain it to temse'ves in -uture/On'$ tere.

. does te teacer a'wa$s.

. understand te students.

. and te students understand teir teacers.

. on'$ a-ter te$ %raduate/

31uc*i'$6 no one can read te tou%ts 4


8/38

Art

Is attractive2

Because $ou +ecome te mem+er o- te Academ$ ri%t awa$/)or no one understands it/

I- $ou ate savin%/

I- $oure ta'ented -or an$tin%.. e5ce(t -or te tin%s $ou stud$/

I- $ou en7o$ castin%/

)or it is a sma'' ste(.. o- su+7ective wises.

. and a %iant 'ea(.

. o- o+7ective ca(a+i'ities/

)or $ou can see.. tat tose witout ta'ent %raduate.

. wic %ives $ou %ood cances as we''/

&atsIs -or te2

Smart/Educated/

Inte''i%ent/

Witt$/Ta'ented/

And a'' te oters.

. wo wi'' on'$ a-ter te studies.

. +e ac0uitted.

. due to te lack of evidence/

Cemistr$Is -or tose2

Wo 'i*e to sa*e it u(/

Searcin% -or te -ormu'a o- success.. te (i'oso(ers stone.

. or at 'east te (otion o- 'i-e/

Te$ wi'' +e a(($.

. to -ind a 7o+ in te end/

Tecnica' En%ineerin%

Is -or $ou i-2You dont want to %et rust$/

Since -or te wrenc.

. one needs not an$ *now'ed%e o- te )renc/Because $ou ave no idea wat to do wit $ourse'-.

. +ut *now wat to do wit te macines/

Because oters to'd $ou.

. it wou'd +e di--erent/


9/38

Because an$ misunderstandin%.

. can easi'$ +e sett'ed.

. wit te e'( o- too's/Because its a mans tin%/

!i'oso($Is (o(u'ar2

)or tere are +oo*s.

. +ut no te5t+oo*s/Te$re a'wa$s te -irst ones to %o on stri*e/

Teir a''wa$s are wide.

. and teir c'assrooms sma''/

)or tere are man$.. consu'tations in te ca-eteria/

Cause $oud 'i*e.

. to -ina''$ read te c'assics/

)or tere are man$ courses.. 'eadin% nowere/

!armac$

Is2

A -acu't$ wic is not2. cemistr$.

. matematics.

. tecno'o%$.

. trade.

. er+a'ism.

. medicine.

. and ver$ o-ten.

. not even (armac$/

One %oes to (armac$.

. out o- curiosit$.

. and %raduates.

. wit a ('easant -ee'in%.

. tat an$tin% as a (rice.

. e5ce(t -or te cure/

:eterinar$

Is te coice o-2Se(erds/

#omads/

Cow+o$s/And oter mem+ers.

. o- Associations -or te (rotection -rom umans/

Te$re te on'$ ones.

. wo *now ow to.


10/38


11/38

Wo 'i*e to +ui'd temse'ves monuments.

. wi'e te$re sti'' a'ive/

&ost o- tem wi'' draw teir wo'e 'i-e.. and on'$ tose -ew wit.

. *nac*.

. *now'ed%e.. ta'ent.

. and a+ove a''.

. connections.

. %et to +ui'd/

3O- course6 i- te structure.

"oesnt co''a(se on tem4

!$sics

Is te coice2

O- tose wo 'i*e to %et ($sica'/

Tose wo are -ami'iar wit Tes'a.. and do not *now tat its.

. istor$ tats re(eatin%.

. not ($sics/

!i'oso($Is 'i*e2

Te on'$ ('ace were a student.

. doesnt answer 0uestions.

. +ut (i'oso(i


12/38

Bio'o%$

Is a -acu't$2

Teacin% students.. tat te$ ori%inated -rom mon*e$s.

. wic te 'oca' >? (ositive.

. or even a -ew (ercenta%es more/

&ore 7ust tan te Roman Code.


13/38

. not to mention .

. te &a%na Carta.

!ro-----s2

#ever read an$ +oo*s 9cos te$ *ee( it a'' in teir ead/

Tin* wen no+od$ wou'd do it/#ever %'ance at te watces.

. -or te$ ave a (recise +ior$tm/

Wear no weddin% rin%s 9cos te$re too ti%t/#ever watc te weater -orecast.

. +ecause te$ *now were te winds +'ow -rom.

. and do watc te "ai'$ #ews.

. so tat te$ wou'dnt ear -rom te oters.

. weter te$ sti'' ave teir 7o+/

!ro-essor2

Has no a'ternative/#ever dies @ not in te.

. worst western movies/Bu''ets cant %et im/

Is eterna' @ unti' e dies/

Has no ($sio'o%ica' needs.. not even te +asic ones.

. -or te$ -or%et a+out tem/

Oters do it -or im.

. o-ten not as success-u''$/He cannot +e +ri+ed/

He doesnt %o nuts/

#ever 'ies/And w$ on eart wou'd e stea',

!ro-essor2Is God or at 'east St/ !au'/

And i- es andsome.

3a(('ies on'$ to -ema'e students4

. ten even -'un*in%.

. can +rin% te ('easure.

. o- anoter meetin%/

!ro+'ems2

Te %reatest (ro+'ems o- te teacer are.

. tose man$ tit'es.

. under te %ra$in% air.

. and +a'din% ead/

"r 3er*4 and &r/ 3H$de4

. o-ten a +ed !rim3Crimina'4


14/38

Grada+'e6 In%enious.

. on'$ -or teir -riends/

Te oters wou'd o(t -or.. Sci


15/38

!ro-essor B maintains a dia'o%ue wit students

Our (ro-essor as a dia'o%ue.

. wit imse'-/

Tat is te on'$ co''ocutor2e res(ects6

e trusts6

wo *nows im we''/Te one e tin*s i%'$ o-.

. and wo never con-ronts im/

An i- te dia'o%ue.

. resu'ts in misunderstandin%.

. HE wi'' certain'$ +e ri%t/

!ro-essor C is never 'ate -or c'ass

Our (ro-essor is 'ate.

. wic is worse.

. +ut sti'' +etter tan not sowin% u( at a''/

Bein% 'ate.

. is a demonstration o- -orce.

. and te (roo- o- .

. te wea*ness o- is (resentation/

!ro-essor " is interested to ear wat students tin* a+out is 'ecture

Our teacer.

. is not interested.

. as o(inions.

. are a su+7ective cate%or$/

HE is smart enou%.. and e *nows wat te students.

. wou'd sa$ o- im/

So6 w$ waste.

. time.

. (a(er.

. and nerves/

A (ure'$ economica' matter/It doesnt (a$ o--.

. to read so man$ com('aints.

. to ear so -ew com('iments/

!ro-essor E as e5ce(tiona' teoretica' *now'ed%e

Our (ro-essor 'i*e to +e in (o'itics.

. +ecause tat means.


16/38

. tat e doesnt ave to +e in teor$/

Teor$ e wou'd 'eave to teoreticians.. so as not to mi5 te two.

. and not to %et con-used.

. wit wat was doin% so -ar/

!ro-essor ) is a'wa$s ver$ e'e%ant

Our (ro-essor.. -ee's e imse'-.

. is a ma5imum onor.

. -or te auditorium/

An$tin% more tan tat.. wou'd +e com(etition.

. a%ainst &oter Teresa.

. and in is -ie'd.

. teres no #o+e' !ri


17/38

!ro-essor H res(ects is co''ocutor

Our (ro-essor wou'd +e %'ad to.. +ut wats te (oint.

. wen e.

. cannot utter a word/

He is rea'istic a+out te -act.

. tat te man de-ends +$ si'ence.

. wic means consent.

. and (ro-essors %ood manners.

. disa''ow im.

. -rom sto((in% is si'ence/

Our (ro-essor is a -i%ure o- s(eec6 as a'' tat is said.

. doesnt a(('$ to a'' our (ro-essors/ Tere are some o- ours on teir side as we''/

Assistant !ro-essor

Assistant (ro-essor sti'' as no 'evera%e6 even tou% e 'eaves students in ra%e/Assistant !ro-essor is an assistant wo survived.

. and a -uture (ro-essor @ i- e 'ives to +e one/

Assistant !ro-essor is a'- wa$ tere/Undecided/

#ot too $oun%.

. to do wat e cou'd.

. and not o'd enou%.

. to +e wat e cannot +e/

Watever te (ro-essors do to im.

. e ta*es out on te students.

. wit interest/

AssistantAssistant is a s(ecia' case and at times an accident/

Assistant is an e5 student.

. wo 'earned a'' -rom te +oo*s.

. and notin% -rom e5(erience/

He remains at te -acu't$.

. tin*in% it rewardin%.3wic is dou+t-u'4

. and not

3wic is con-irmed.. +$ (revious (ractice4/

Te 'en%t o- te (unisment.

. is we'' measured.

. accordin% to is (ros(ects/


18/38

Head o- te Students Service

He sure *nows wat es doin%

Head o- te Students Service.

. re%u'ates te studentD(ro-essor re'ationsi(/He is indis(ensa+'e.

. -or te (eace and sta+i'it$.

. at te -acu't$/I- e %ets cau%t in +etween.

. es done wit.

. i- e %ets on to( o- it.

. te$re done wit/

Hand'in% te door*ee(er

Te door*ee(er is te *e$ (erson at te -acu't$

Hes te -irst one.. $ou'' meet tere.

. and te 'ast one.// wose (ermit.

. %ives $ou te student status/

So6 +e care-u'.

. i- $ou %et in a -i%t wit a (ro-essor.

. $ou'' +e 0uestioned +$ anoter one/

I- $ou %et in a -i%t wit te door*ee(er.. e as*s no 0uestions.

. e starts +eatin% $ou instant'$/

)resman

)resman is a student wit academic ormona' status/

He *nows notin%.

. and es read$ -or ever$tin%/

Ever$one is sad.. wen te -resman %rows u(.

. e5ce(t -or temse'ves.

. wo are read$.

. to %ive te e5(erience.

. +ac* wit a ven%eance/

Student Re(resentative

Student Re(resentative re(resents

Te students witout tem *nowin% it/


19/38

HE used to +e res(ected +$ te students.

. +e-ore te e'ections.

. wen e wor*ed -or tem.

. and +ecomes ated 'ater.

. wen e starts wor*in%.

. so'e'$ -or imse'-/

Te eterna' student

Te eterna' student is (art o- te -acu't$ -urniture wic doesnt wear o--/

Te status o- te eterna' student actua''$ is.

. a !H" wit cumu'ative e--ect/Com(ared to a !H" it ta*es.

. more time.

. more onest$.

. more uman 0ua'ities.. wit identica' scienti-ic contri+ution/

It can +e ac0uired +$ $ears o- stud$.. wit an$ (ro%ress.

. +ein% ard.

. noted.

. and a+ove a''.

Accidenta'/

He 'in*s %enerations.

. es indis(ensa+'e.

. in writin%.

. te istor$ o- te -acu't$/

To +ecome an eterna' student.. it ta*es necessar$ recommendations.

. -rom tose.

. not in te (ro-essors -an c'u+/

Gee*

Gee* is a -irst c'ass student/

Gee*s are not 'oved2B$ students/

!ro-essors/

Oter %ee*s/A'' -or te same reason/

Te %ee* *nows more.

. and wat is worse.

. e *ee(s (ointin% it out/

Gree*s as -orei%n students


20/38

Gree*s are +roters wic te o+'i%ator$ visa (roves/

A'' -orei%n students6 and es(ecia''$ Gree*s.. are o+'i%ed to (ass.

. a se'ection (rocess +e-ore enro''ment/

Te se'ection is2

. tou%.

. strict.

. rut'ess.

. re'ent'ess.

. and un0uestionin%'$.

. ne%ative/

Te smart Gree*s attend.

. Gree* universities/

Te ric ones %o to O5-ord or Harvard.. or e'sewere/

Wat we %et are.. te 'e-tovers.

. (resent com(an$ e5c'uded.

. te stu(id and te (oor/Yet6 te$re smart enou%.

. and wea't$ enou%.

. to +u$ our.

. 'ectures.

. (ractice c'asses.

. our di('omas and 3trut +e to'd4.

. our (ro-essors/

A%ain6 e5c'udin% te ma7orit$ (ro-essors.

. wo wou'd never.

. ever do it/

Because it is.

. untin*a+'e.

. disonest.

. umi'iatin%.

. same-u'.

. and a+ove a''.

. cea(/

I- some o- te (ro-essors sou'd do it.. its on'$ out o-2

. %ood wi''.

. umanit$.

. so-tness o- te eart.


21/38

. soutern menta'it$.

. unit$ and +roterood.

. os(ita+i'it$.

. Ortodo5$.

. consideration.

. and most'$.. +ecause o- te un(aid +i''s/

Te entrance e5am

Entrance e5ams are -irst e5(eriences in ust'in%/

Some ca'' it a 0ua'i-ication.. some e'imination.

And te$ a'' *now its neiter o- te two.

. +ut rater te tird/

Entrance e5ams can +e ard.. i- $ou didnt stud$.

. or even more.

. i- $ou dont *now te dean.

. or at 'east some o- te (eo('e.

. (re(arin% te e5am/To ave an$ cance.

. $ou must +u$ te +oo* wit 0uestions.

. and te answers.

. and +u$in% it is more im(ortant tan readin%/Tere mi%t +e some aid -rom a committee mem+er.

. sittin% at te e5am/

However6 tese are not to +e as*ed -or so'utions.. As te$ ad -or%otten te answers 'on% +eo-ore.

. i- te$ ever *new tem/

Te$ wou'd screw $ou out o- ne%'i%ence/And i- $ou want to ear is answers.

./ Be sure not to.

. circ'e tem on te e5am/

It is +etter to ave tat (erson.. correct $our test 'ater on/

)or im to *now $our (a(er.

. never 'eave com('ete'$ em(t$ (a(ers.

. or a'' te wron% answers.

. -or tat is te.

. most -re0uent com+ination/You must +e more ori%ina'.

. and do some o- te tas*s/

Goin% to 1ectures


22/38

Students attend 'ectures re%u'ar'$/

E5ce(t2Wen te$re un%r$/

Wen te$re -u'' o- *now'ed%e/

Wen %oin% to +e vaccinated/Wen donatin% +'ood/

Wen te$re +us$/

Wen teres a -oot+a'' der+$ %ame/Wen te cit$ trans(ortation is on stri*e/

Wen te$ *now wat is to +e tau%t at te 'ecture/

Wen te$ ave a 7usti-ication/

Wen te 'ectures are.. too ear'$ or too 'ate/

And in students 'i-e c$c'e.

. too ear'$ is @ mornin%.

. and too 'ate @ a-ternoon/

Students attend 'ectures2To en7o$ te +rea*s/

To -inis o--.

. a %ame o- ,,,,,cec*ersTo cec* out.

. i- te assistant.

. wou'd sit 'i*e se did.

. te wee* +e-ore/

Student wi'' +e tere2

Wen e %ets con-used/Wen e as a drin*/

Wen e as notin% e'se to do/

Wen te (ro-essor is si%nin% te attendance records/Wen is %ir'-riend ma*es im.

. to cec* ow muc e 'oves er.

. wic is a cor(us de'icti.

. o- se5ua' a+use.

. 3o- course6 i- te (ro-essor.

. acce(ts te ro'e o- te witness4/

1ectures

1ectures are not o+'i%ator$.. so act accordin%'$/

Te 'ecture $ou do attend.

. wi'' +e e5ce(tiona''$ +orin%/

Te +est 'ectures.


23/38

. are te ones $ou s'e(t over/

Even worse6 ten.

. a'' te +est cic*s.

. were in c'ass.

. te (ro-essor was motivated.

. e ta'*ed a+out te tin%s.. wic are not in te te5t+oo*.

. and e was si%nin% te attendance records/

Remem+er2

Wen it rains.

. it (ours/

Ta*in% notes

#otes are ancient E%$(tian iero%'$(s made in students wa$

I- $ou ta*e notes in c'ass.

. $ou wi'' as* $ourse'- 'ater on.. weter $ou attended te 'ecture.

. in te -irst ('ace/"ecodin% wat $ou wrote.

. wi'' ta*e more time.

. ten 'earnin% it -rom te +oo*/I- $ou dont ta*e notes.

. $ou dont %et to 'earn a 'ot.

. as $ou s(end most time.

. 'oo*in% around.

. wo is in c'ass/

Kee(in% notes or not.

. te decision is u( to $ou.

. even tou% $ou'' 'earn 'ater.

. tat $ou sou'dve done.

. (recise'$ te o((osite/

!ractice c'asses

!ractices are te on'$ (ractica' (art o- te im(ractica' studies/

!ractices are o+'i%ator$.. wic %ives $ou an e5tra motive.

. to s*i( tem re%u'ar'$/

!ractices are (re(ared in advance.. unti' $ou understand it.

. and wen $ou (rove tat $ou ave no idea.

. $ou retrace $our ste(s +ac*ward/One 'earns te most.

. wen te e5(eriment -ai's/

)irst6 tat te teor$ is one tin%.

. (ractice sometin% e'se.


24/38

. and tat someone ere.

. is %ettin% teir (a$cec* -or notin%/

Te5t+oo*s

Te5t+oo*s are +oo*s students sou'd use in order to (re(are -or e5ams

Un'ess2!ro-essors are tr$in% to2

Invest teir ric e5(erience

Give teir own (ersona' contri+utionBe creative

&a*e te to(ic more condensed

"isa+'e (otoco($in%

&a*e an e5tra e--ort.. to e'( students.

. and ma*e some mone$ on te wa$/

In tat case.

. te te5t+oo* can teac.. a'' a+out te (ro-essor.

. and notin% on te su+7ect matter/

Bu$in% te Te5t+oo*

#ever +u$2A te5t+oo* witout cec*in%.

. wats inside/

Te covers.

. are a'wa$s te +est (art.

. o- an$ +oo*.

)or te$re not made +$ te autor.

. +ut +$ te desi%ner/Wat $ou need.

. is not in tat +oo*.

. +ut in te oter one wic is so'd out/Te vo'ume and te (rice.

. are usua''$ a measure o-.

. 'ac* o- modest$.

. me%a'omania.

. economica''$ -ounded te-t.

. and not o-.

. te 0ua'it$ o- te +oo*/

Used Boo*sUsed +oo*s are so'd +$ o'der co''ea%ues

Tose are wo'e +oo*s -or a'- te (rice.

. o-ten even te o((osite/

Te 'aw o- te o--er and demand.


25/38

. %overns tis transaction.

. in its most rut'ess -orm/

Bu$in% a used +oo*.. means savin% mone$.

. and %oin% trou% te ordea'.

. o- tr$in% to memori


26/38

. -rom te +'ac* mar*et sa'e.

. o- te (a(ers/

Stud$in% -rom 'ecture notes means2

Stud$in% a 'ot.

. o- untrue nonsense/Ta*in% more time.

. to (re(are -or te e5am/

"ama%in% te e$esi%t.. readin% a +ad co($/

1earnin% tat teres.

. sometin% worse tan.

. memori


27/38

. to measure te immeasura+'e/

Te outcome is a'wa$s te same.

. -or (ro-essors.

. as no one ever cec*s.

. i- te$ *now wat.

. students dont/

Wic e5am to ta*e

Ever$one e'se wi'' (ass tose e5ams $ou dont ta*e/Te ones $ou ('anned 'ast.

. wi'' +e te -irst on te scedu'e/

A(('$ -or a'' te e5ams.

. and ma*e $our (arents a(($.

. and $our co''ea%ues worried/

On'$ ta*e te e5ams.

. $ou didnt (re(are -or/

Ten $ou ave notin% to 'ose/

!ro-essors si%natureCo''ectin% (ro-essors.

. si%nature//

. as*s -or te.

. s*i''.

. inte''ect.

. and even im(udence/

A si%nature can +e ac0uired.. at di--erent ('aces.

. in di--erent circumstances.

. 'est o-ten in te c'assroom.

. and 'east o-ten -or.

. re%u'ar attendance in c'ass/

Tere-ore6 a'wa$s ave $our.. students +oo*'et in (oc*et.

. and +e read$ to draw -irst/

Attendance con-irmationAt te end o- eac semester.

. te attendance in c'ass wi'' +e con-irmed.

. witout an$one *nowin%.

. te use o- it/

!era(s to count.

. te num+er o- su+7ects.

. to record te (assa%e o- time.

. or to *ee( te students a--aires o--ice.

. +us$/

Students A--aires O--ice


28/38

Students A--aires O--ice is tere.

. to e'( students.

. +ut someone as to te'' tem tat/

It o(ens wen.

. $oure in te ca-eteria.. and c'oses.

. wen its $our turn to enter/

.Students usua''$.

. demand wat te O--ice.

. cannot %rant tem.

. and %et -rom it.

. wat te$ dont need/

"rawin% e5am 0uestions

"ont ta*e te 0uestion on to( o- te (i'e.. -or tose mi%t +e te re('aced.

. 0uestions o- a (revious student/"ont ta*e tem -rom te midd'e.

. -or its im(ossi+'e to -ind te midd'e/

It wi'' a'wa$s +e.. c'oser to te to(.

. or c'oser to te +ottom.

. and $oud end u( wit.

. te 0uestion $ou didnt want/I- $ou ta*e it -rom te +ottom.

. $ou'' %et te worst ones.

. as tose dont %et su--'ed/I- $ou tr$ to re('ace te 0uestion $ou too*.

. wos to %uarantee tat te new one wi'' +e easier/

I- te (ro-essor cooses -or $ou.. $ou'' +e on tin ice.

. academica''$ s(ea*in%/

I- te$ 'et $ou cose te 0uestion.

. te$'' a'' wonder.

. i- tats te wa$ $ou ta'* a+out wat $ou *now.

. wou'd $ou need a 'o%o(edic.

. to state $our name and address.

. or ma$+e a trans'ator.

. to trans'ate wat $ou said/

So6 ta*e an$ 0uestion.

. -or te easiest ones.

. wou'd +e ta*en +e-ore.

B$ students wo ad.


29/38

. a'read$ -inised te e5am/

Co($in%Co($in% +i+'ica' te5ts +rou%t a+out modern universities/

#ever co($ te answers o- te +est student.. tose are motivated.

. to %ive $ou wron% answer/

Teir aim is to +e te +est.. wic is (ossi+'e.

. on'$ i- e is %ood666

. or i- te rest are +ad/

"ont co($ -rom te +ad students.. te$ wi'' screw $ou over.

. so tat te$ ave someone to *ee( tem com(an$/

"ont co($ -rom te mediocre students.

. -or teir wron% answers.. wi'' seem $ou ri%t/

On'$ co($ -rom $our -irst dra-t.. and $ou'' ave %ood re'ations wit tem a''/

Cec*in% u( te answersTe 0uestions $ou tou%t.

. $ou did correct'$.

. wi'' on'$ +e so (artia''$/

Tose $ou tou%t were (artia''$ correct.. wi'' +e com('ete'$ wron%/

Te -act is tat $ou can no 'on%er.

. increase te num+er o- correct ones.

. or decrease te num+er o- wron% ones/

So6 te +est o(tion is.

. to save $ourse'- -rom worr$in%.

. and save te mone$ -or tran0ui'i


30/38

Once te wist'e +'ows.

. te re- wont can%e is mind/

How a -ema'e student (re(ares -or te e5am

Same as ma'e students @ 'earns te su+7ect/

I- se as er ands -u''.

. te o(tion o- usin% 'e%s.

. is sti'' o(en/&a*eu( is necessar$.

. i- teres te need to ma*e u( -or sometin%.

. +ut c'otes.

. can +e 'e-t at ome/)'asin% e$e'ases.

. Seductive (ositions.

. Bendin% over.

. ta'*in% sensua''$.. tat a'' can contri+ute to.

. a +etter resu't.

. or at 'east to overcomin%.

. te -irst urd'e/

E5ce(t in one case2

I- on te oter side.

. te student con-ronts HER/

Se wou'd not understand a'' tat.. -or it is too 'ate.

To remem+er ow tin%s used to +e.

. and its too ear'$.

. to -or%et.

. te e5(ectations se ad/

Te (romises o- $esterda$.. wou'd overcome te -acts o- toda$/

A-ter te e5am te$'' +ot -ee' e0ua''$ sorr$/

Eac -or er own reasons/

How to -'un* an e5am

:er$ easi'$/

Act dea-mute.. or at 'east mute/

"e-end $our views/

As* -or te (ro-essor to +e e5em(ted/

You ave to *now as 'itt'e as (ossi+'e.


31/38

. so as not to +e tem(ted/

Its not a +ad idea.

. to ave some idea o- wic e5am is tat da$/Know wat $ou dont *now/

"ont -a'' -or.

. te (rovocations.. suc as additiona' 0uestions/

Be coo'/

#ever surrender/Re-use to s(ea*.

. witout te (resence o- $our attorne$/

An$tin% $ou sa$.

. can +e used a%ainst $ou.

. and cause +ursts o- 'au%ter.

. in te auditorium.

. wic wou'd 'eave $ou.

. out o- te com(etition.. -or a c'ean -'un*in% te e5am.

. and 0ua'i-$ $ou.

. -or te 7o*e o- te $ear/

GradesA %rade is a measure o- *now'ed%e/

E5ce(t2

Wen te (ro-essor decides.. to +e o+7ective/

Ten it +ecomes a mere -i%ure.

. wic te statistics wi'' 'ater.

. trans-orm into.

Wat no %rade is/

O+7ective measure o-.. su+7ective measurin%/

A student wi'' a'wa$s tin*.

. tat e demonstrated a 'ot.

. and te (ro-essor tat more was needed/A (ro-essor wi'' a'wa$s tin*.

. tat e %ave a 'ot.

. and te student tat more was needed/Actua''$6 te$ +ot c'aim te same.

. its on'$ te word order tats te (ro+'em ere.

. and te -acu't$ records.

. were tis 'in%uistic issue.

. %ot its -ina'.

. numerica' outcome/


32/38

!rover+ia' %rades2

) @ #o (ain no %ain/

" @ Ever$ (at as its (udd'e/E @ Ta*e one ste( at a time/

C @ Ever$ do% as is da$/

B @ &ind is over matter 3wen co($in%4/A @ To Err is uman/

:er+a'"i%ita' trans'ation o- te %rades2

O+stetrician2

) @ "ead+orn" @ )ina''$ a +o$;

E @ Unwanted/

C @ Une5(ected

B @ !er-ection/A @ Caesarean section/

:er+a'2

) @ Sit" @ Know'ed%e

E @ Co($in%

C @ Overdoin% it

B @ Bri+eA @ "ou+'esit 3F F4

Avera%e %radeTe avera%e %rade 5Dn/

Te avera%e %rade was invented.

. +$ te statistics de(artment.

. to ma*e stud$in%.

. ever more dis%ustin%.

. and create 7o+s -or teir (eo('e/

ust one 'ous$ %rade.. irreversi+'$ satters te i''usion.

. o- $ou +ein% (er-ect.

. and +rin%s $ou +ac* to rea'it$.

. o- +ein% 7ust %ood/

Its a corn$ stor$.

. o- an A as un unattaina+'e.

. and $et attained avera%e %rade/

And it is un7ust.

. tat te avera%e %rade at E.

. remains a ta+oo to(ic.


33/38

. even tou% no one actua''$ as it/

Strivin% to increase te avera%e %rade2

&eans renouncin% $our -ree time/

Acce(tin% di--erent -orms o- umi'iation.. +e%%in% someone wo is worse tan $ou.

. -or sometin% $ou didnt deserve/

1osin% te 7o$ o-.. %ettin% an A.

. -or te terri+'e -ear o-.

. %ettin% a B/

Wi''in%'$ con-ront.. one YES wit a tousand #Os/

Handica((in% $ourse'-/

And wat is worse.

. e5(eriencin% te disa((ointment.. u(on -inisin% te studies.

. -or e5ams are one tin%.

. and 'i-e sometin% e'se/

Tere-ore2"o not discriminate.

. te %rades.

. -or tat wa$.

. $ou'' tric* te (ro-essor.

. and e wi'' tric* $ou/

1eave te avera%e %rade.

. -or te statistics.

. *nowin% tat it is.

. a scienti-ica''$ +ased 'ie/

Wat &ar5 said

3a(('ica+'e -or te -acu'ties in transition4

&ar5s +ar+er died on is +irt/

Wenever a (ro-essor 0uoted.

. wat &ar5 said.

. it seemed tat.

. e imse'- was a witness to it/

I- 'ater.. we read it -rom te +oo*.

. we wou'd understand.

. tat te two were not on s(ea*in% terms/

#owada$s.


34/38

. te same (ro-essors -or%ot a+out &ar5.

. and turned to God.

. wic can +e -ata'.

. -or te surviva' o- re'i%ion/

!rover+s!rover+s are te smart (art o- a (eo('e/

Stud$6 stud$ and stud$.

. said te man.// wo never was a student/

Tree %reatest +'unders

Te man $ou addressed to as* a+out a (ro-essor.

. turns out to +e imse'-/

To do te test.

. and ta*e it ome wit $ou/To sa*e ands wit te assistant.

. wi'e o'din% te ,,,

Ru'e #o/ J

Te -irst mane.. $ou meet at te de(artment.

. wi'' 'oo* 'i*e a (ro-essor.

. +ut wi'' +e te ('um+er/

Ru'e #o/ =

#ever enter te (ro-essors o--ice.

. carr$in% a ('astic +a%.

. un'ess $ou ave.

. so'id reasons -or tat/

Once e understands tat te +a%.. o'ds notin% -or im.

. e'' %ive $ou te same/

)ater'$ advice to -uture doctors

Cure $our (ro-essors.

. 'i*e te$ tau%t $ou/Tat wa$ ever$one wi'' %et.

. wat te$ deserve/

Te$ wi'' %et te ('easure.. o- a (ro-essiona' and.

. (ain'ess treatment.

. and $oun% ($sicians.

. wi'' %et a new 7o+/


35/38

)i''in% out te teacer eva'uation -orm

Te anon$mous assessment o- teir wor*.

. is sometin% usua''$ conducted.

. +$ (o(u'ar (ro-essors.. wic is understanda+'e.

. a'tou% te oter ones.

. sometimes do it.

. wic sometimes is madness/

Yet6 it on'$ seems tat wa$.

. -or +ot %rou(s o- (ro-essors.

. wi'' on'$ demonstrate te documents.

. (raisin% teir wor*/

Te on'$ di--erence is.. tat te 'atter.

. ad to destro$.

. most o- te documentation/

So6 -i'' out tose (o''s care-u''$.

. and +e sure not to 'eave $our -in%er(rints/

Best )riend

Your +est -riend.

. needs to ave tose 0ua'ities.

. $oure missin%/

He is a'so a student.

. +ut is identit$.

. $ou'' -ind out.

. once $ou sto( seein% eac oter/

Its not te one $ou s(ent most time wit.. +ut6 as in an$ tri''er.

. te one.

. $ou 'east sus(ected/

Autonom$ o- te universit$

Ever$one is in -avor o- universit$ +ein% autonomous.. on'$ te autonom$ is di--erent'$ seen/

Te ones in i% ('aces.

. tin* it means./// to decide autonomous'$ on te

. 'en%t o- teir mandate/

As 'on%6 and as autonomous.

. as (ossi+'e/


36/38

)or tem6 te autonom$ is.

. wat it rea''$ isnt.

And -or wat it tru'$ is//. te$ wi'' start advocatin%.

. once te$ +ecome te o((osition/

!ro-essors in te o((osition.. tin* tat tere is.

. no autonom$ at te universit$.

. and te$re com('ete'$ ri%t/Te$6 owever.

. do not mind te -act.

. as muc as te *now'ed%e.

. tat te$ cose te ri%t universit$.

. +ut te wron% (art$/

Ever$one e'se.

. *now ver$ we'' wat autonom$ means.. +ut te$ wi'' never.

. +e a+'e to demonstrate it in (ractice.

. +ecause o- te mentioned two %rou(s.

. o- (ro-essors/

)acu't$ !o'itics

!o'itics sou'd +e +anned a te -acu't$/

!o'itics o- a'' te (arties sou'd +e +anned.

. e5ce(t -or mine/

As 'on% as teres (o'itics at te -acu't$.. te -acu't$ is on o'ida$/

GraduationGraduation e5am is ta*en2

To -ind out te studies end date/

)or te (ro-essors to -ina''$ ave a drin*6 o--icia''$/

To add to $our norma' name.. an incom(reensi+'e tit'e/

To tr$ on $ou (rom suit.

. once more.

. +e-ore $ou %et married/

To remind (eo('e.

. o- tat time 'on% a%o wen $ou started stud$in%/To +rin% on env$.

. in tose wo c'aimed.

. $ou'' never do it.

. and dis%ust.


37/38

. in tose wo'' sa$.

. A; Te (eo('e wo %raduate nowada$s.

Students +oo*'et

Students +oo*'et is a (ersona' document wic unconvincin%'$ sows te attaced(oto/

A'' te irre'evant data.. can +e -ound in te students +oo*'et.

. and notin% o- te tin%s $ou are (roud o-/

On ever$ (a%e wit sometin% (ositive.

. tere is a'so sometin%.

. same-u'/

"urin% te studies.

Te +oo*'et is *e(t in order to.

. do semester c'earance .. and 'ater on.

. not to 'et $our ci'dren see it/

"i('oma

A di('oma is te evidence o- %raduation/Tat $ou s'i((ed/

Tat no+od$s (er-ect/

Tat te wo'e -acu't$.

. can +e ('aced.

. on a sin%'e (a(er ro''/

Tat $ou were more (ersistent.

. tan inte''i%ent.And more (atient tan ardwor*in%/

A %raduate *nows ever$tin%.

. e5ce(t wat to do wit is di('oma/A di('oma can +e2

)ramed.

. +ut itd +e a waste o- -rame.

. and it wou'd increase.

. te oterwise (oint'ess.

. costs o- stud$in%/

It can +e sown to $our re'atives.. +ut $ou do not deserve te s$m(at$/

You cou'd ta*e it to te em('o$ment a%enc$.

. and %et ever$tin% tere.

. -rom cic*en(o5 to (ertussis.

. +ut not a 7o+/

Brain activit$


38/38

Te students +rain is.

. a sin%u'ar or%an.

. +ut considerin% is actions.

. and te -act tat its not visi+'e.

. one -ee's tat it doesnt e5ist/

It is ard'$ credi+'e.. tat durin% te studies.

. a'' tose +oo*s cou'd -it into it.

. +ut one sou'd not -or%et.

. tat ,,,

. are (ut in a'' te di--erent ('aces.

. and never inside te ead/

THE "ARK SI"E O) THE BRAI# WHERE #OTHI#G CA# BE SEE#/

#euro($sio'o%ica' students +rain centers

Board %ames

Know'ed%eSe5

)ee'in% o- 7ustice

Ceatin% centerS(eec center

Wis(erin% center

&otoric activit$

3%et te e'' outta ere;;;4

Homewor*

Ar$tmetics center3dream and rea'it$4

Te center -or stud$in% cannot +e sown -or te -act tat tose -ew ce''s se'domdemonstrate an$ activit$/ A''er%ic reaction to some (ro-essors cause ,,, in students wo

ad not +een vaccinated/ Te internet center Searc and Esca(e +ecomes dominant on'$

a-ter %raduation/

Documents

DEKANOVA KNJIGA Advanced Students’ Guide