Dear Friends A 99-year old resident gives would-be letter writers a few pointers.

RUBY OLIVER/MARY BAYER

I love keeping in touch with my family and friends. Getting a. let- ter brightens up m3/whole day.

But when a letter comes for m e - - I can't get it open. Someone opens it for m e - - b u t the print is too small for me to read. When someone reads the letter to me, I want to answer i t - -bu t I can't write anymore. Even ifI could write, I wouldn' t be able to read what I had written.

I 'm grateful when someone offers to write for me, but when the letter is finished, sometimes it doesn't sound like me. I 'm still a unique individual with an active life I want to share with family and f r iends-- I just hap- pen to live in a nursing home. I f I could teach helpers how to write the sort of letter I would write i f I could, this would be my advice:

Write early and often. First of all, tell everyone how much I enjoy their cards and letters and ask them to send more. Reread the latest letter and let's write a response to every paragraph. Be patient and help me find the words to express how happy I am that my greatgrandson is doing Iwell in school; that my daughter en-

• . •

joyed her trip tO Pans. Together, let's think of some ques-

tions to ask. Maybe they'll write again soon to give me the answers. I know, it's an old trick, but it works.

My life's still busy. I 'm interested in my family's life and I want them to be interested in my life. Check the fa- cility activities calendar to remind us about what's been going on around here lately. Have we had any pet ther- apy visits? My gr~atgrandchildren al-

Ruby Oliver, RN, a resident ofthe Sandy River Nursing Care Center, Farmington, ME, cele- brates her 100th birthday April 11. Mary Bayer, RN, BSN, is the owner and consultant administrator of the Sandy River Alliance Nursing Care Centers. She has helped many re- sidents write letters though her pen.

Mary Bayer pens Ruby Oliver's thoughts as Roscoe, the facility mascot, looks on.

ways like-io get a full description of the kittens and puppies that the lady from the ASPCA brings in.

I f I went to a cooking or craft class, let's describe what I made. Have I gone on an outing? Have I partici- pated in a social event? I f so, lei's de- scribe the food, the decorations, and the entertainment.

Look through my guest book so we can say who has been to visit me. Also, read me all the letters I 've re- ceived recently so we can pass along any news from other family mem- bers and friends.

Let's write about what my room looks like, the furniture, decorations, view. We can write about friends here among the patients and staff. I can mention my roommate too - - all o f her good (and bad) points•

Let's mention the holiday church services and who participated.

Of course, I have my downs too. But I 'm sure my loved ones want to know about my physical therapy and progress--or lack thereof. They'll want to know, too, how well I 'm do- ing with my walker, or if I need a wheelchair fulltime now. We can also work in a few paragraphs about the

weather here and ask them about their weather. I f the cold is making my bursitis act up, we can hint for a new sweater or shawl to keep my shoulders warm.

Love always. The most important part, o f course, is to tell my friends and family that I love them and think of them often. Let them know I'd love to see them. My happy memo- ries o f the .past are precious but tell them how much I like to get new pho- tos, too, of family babies, new cars, houses, boyfriends, anything that's a part of their lives so I can make it a part of mine.

Remember, it's my letter. Above all, help me sound interesting and worth knowing. Make my letter so enjoyable that my family and friends will want to respond quickly in order to get a letter back from me.

When we've finished writing a let- ter, please take the time to read it over to me very slowly so I 'm sure that we're saying what is in my heart. If possible, help me sign the letter in my own handwriting. And if you do take the t ime to write a letter for me, please know how much I appreciate your efforts. GN

Geriatric Nursing March/April 1990 71