DARKNESS SURROUNDING

by Kat Mellon

[UNEDITED EXCERPT]

2

1. ONE OF THE GUYS “Pass it here!” Toby yelled as he cut across the dark asphalt basketball

court. I lobbed the ball over Sean’s head and watched Toby effortlessly execute a windmill dunk, which caused the net’s metal chains to shake and clatter.

“And that’s the game!” Toby whooped before wiping his forehead with the bottom of his faded black t-shirt. He smirked at Sean, whose usually pale face was red and glistening with sweat. “Ten to nothing, suckah.”

“You kept pushing me, man!” Sean glowered. “I woulda’ had that. Stupid prick.”

Toby scooped the ball from the ground and grinned at me. Sean’s complaints faded into the background.

“Teamwork, Zanni. You and me, we’re a team. Always and forever.” I gave him my mischievous grin. “You got that right,” I said. I pulled my hair-tie off and shook my hair

loose. “Poor Sean. A pitiful yard sale sign among the almighty street lights. Is that fair of us, leaving someone so short all on his own?”

“Yeah, he’s something like that,” Toby said, giving Sean a friendly slap on the back as he passed by. “But he’ll just have to get used to it, won’t he? Biology’s a bitch, bud.”

Toby splayed himself out under a tree in the soft green grass, clenching the basketball between oversized hands. His drying brown hair shifted in the gentle breeze as he gazed through dark, heavy lashes at the sky.

The dude was handsome, and in a big way. I’d always liked his hair: spiked up in the front, the rest a decent length,

cut clean at the back of the neck. Dark, serious eyes; those slanted eyebrows that made him look as if he were always deep in concentration. Perfect face. Perfect cheekbones. Of course, we weren’t dating. We’d never so much as kissed. There wasn’t a particular reason for the lack of chemistry, although I sometimes wished it weren't the case.

3

“Thinking about me, Zanni?” I turned to glance at Sean, tempted to laugh as his sandy blond hair

whipped across his boyish face and fanned his eyes. One thing about Sean was that he never gave up on that particular front.

“Who wouldn’t be thinking about the one and only Sean, Sean, the girl stealing mahn?”

I chuckled. Although we all received our fair share of teasing from one another, Sean in particular seemed to be put down the most. He brought it on himself.

“She’s thinking about me, you freak,” Toby added, gazing at me coyly. “I’m her one and only. Right, Zanni?”

I started to respond with something vaguely witty and hilarious, but a familiar sense of apprehension passed over me, completely derailing my train of thought.

Shucks, not again. “Yeah, yeah. Give me a sec, I’ll be right back.” I walked away in a hurry, heading for the gate of the chain link fence

that enclosed the court. We’d etched our names on it long ago. I liked to think we were an eternal part of that court; that it was our second home, ours for all intents and purposes. For years, it had been our refuge. Almost every day after school, we played within the confines of its chain link walls.

But lately, strange things had been happening, which I could only address by retreating for a few minutes away from the outside world.

I made for a large shrub fronting the brick building that lined the west side of the court. There was an area within wide enough for sitting, so I pulled myself through into the cool, shaded fortress of leaves. I pulled my knees up to my chin and wrapped my arms around them tightly.

For as long as I could remember, I had always been cold – in other words, lacking something warm and content on the inside. It wasn’t something physical, and it wasn’t something I could easily explain. I’d once entertained the notion that my lack of a boyfriend was at fault—after all, any single high school girl surely feels some grueling emptiness and hatred toward the world—but dismissed it after considering that I had a

4

better friendship with Toby and Sean than most girls had in their romantic relationships. Besides, I was really in no hurry for a high school romance. I’d be heading off to college in less than a year, where there’d be plenty of opportunity for that sort of thing. Either that or Toby’d come to his senses.

I’d started to sense that the coldness had some connection to the bursts of apprehension. They were of something dark and foreboding, yet indefinable. Over the past few months, the bursts had been hitting me randomly and without warning; now, even a walk down the school’s hallway could give me a sudden surge of dread that would chill me to the bone.

And now the dread had finally spread to the basketball court, my safe haven.

This led me to think of the figurine my mother bought me when I was seven. It was an angel, whose arm extended toward the sky with fingers curled in a position of welcoming. The other hand rested on the angel’s stomach, creating folds in her dazzling blue dress. Closed eyes and a serene smile furthered her charm. Long, flowing golden blonde hair forever captured her face then trailed down her shoulders, and in the air behind her back.

I’d always appreciated the figurine because of the physical resemblance between us, with the exception of a pair of extraordinary black wings that stretched elegantly behind her body. She’d been watching over me from the wooden curio cabinet in my bedroom for years now, her enchanting presence dominating all of the neighboring trinkets. She was like a guardian angel, and the thought of her comforted me whenever I grew scared. Childish, but appreciated all the same.

I watched a leaf tremble in the breeze as the dazzling sunlight peeked through holes in the wall of greenery. A deep breath filled my lungs with pure and fresh grass-scented air, and I found serenity washing over me like a calm rain. I could almost feel the earth sigh as September began to meld with October, and as it did, I realized that something big was going to happen. The sense was indescribable. It was almost as if the Earth had

5

shared some hushed but important secret with me… “Zanni? Where’d ‘ya go?” I pushed the leaves and branches away quickly. I had been so lost in

thought that I forgot about Toby and Sean, the former being the one who’d interrupted my strange reverie. I began to pull myself out from the shrubs, and slid a foot into the open to keep my balance.

Without warning, a hand closed around my outstretched limb and yanked.

My cry of alarm pierced the air as it dragged me across the ground. Sunlight and trees flashed haphazardly before my eyes.

“Playing hide-and-go-seek, eh?” Toby winked as he watched me fumble to my feet. The skull on his shirt flashed grimly in the slowly dimming light. My heart was pounding, but I wasn’t about to admit weakness. I shook off the feelings of alarm and terror and smiled. I was one of the guys. I couldn’t admit to being scared of something as trivial as that.

“Sure thing.” I never felt comfortable with how Toby reacted when I confided in him.

For instance, just mentioning that I’d once been humiliated at a basketball practice by several teammates had sent him into a state of fury. He’d even gone so far as confronting the girls, who then took to avoiding me or shooting dirty glances in my direction if they couldn’t. I didn’t need him to fight for me, and although his protectiveness was endearing, it made me feel weak as hell on the inside. Ever since I was a little kid, I’d wanted to hold my own in the world, and I’d been dead-set on it ever since.

And even if I did decide to confide in him on some unfathomable whim, how would I even begin to explain my bizarre apprehension? Frankly, I didn’t even understand it myself. And if confrontation and intimidation were Toby’s solutions to tangible problems, what would his solution be to an intangible one?

I wasn’t keen on finding out. “How about a little game of catch me if you can?” he asked. “You’re on, monkey-man.” But before I could move, Toby hooked one arm under my legs and

6

another under my back, then scooped me into his arms and cradled me like a kitten. So much for holding my own. I was big and tall, but not big and tall enough to stump Toby’s musculature.

“Well, that was easy,” he said, grinning down at me with his Cheshire cat smile. “Now for the big guns.”

Light footsteps alerted me to Sean’s approaching presence. “These are the big guns?” I laughed, pointing to Sean’s thin, wiry arms.

“What are you going to do with those, snap a toothpick?” “Actually, I’m just about to open the gate,” Sean muttered as Toby

carried me back onto the basketball court. “You’re in for it, Zanni.” “In for what?” “In for it,” he reiterated, pausing suddenly under one of the basketball

hoops. “Whatever that might be.” I heard something clatter. “Guess muscle-man will decide that for you.” Boys and rationality rarely go together, that’s for sure. I knew what was

coming. I’d been around them enough to know how their twisted minds worked.

“I caught you. Now it’s finder’s keepers,” Toby informed me with a wink. “And you’re all mine.”

And neither do Toby and mercy. He climbed up a three-rung stepladder Sean had strategically placed

under the basket, which creaked beneath our weight. The ladder undoubtedly came from the storage shed, as the park caretakers had recently installed new metal nets. Before I could protest, Toby hoisted me above his head and placed me on top of the rim. He jumped down, waved jovially, then folded the ladder and leaned it against the fence behind me.

I’ve never been afraid of heights, but I became slightly uneasy as I felt my weight battle the weakening, rusted rim. I quickly realized the metal nets had been the last thing in need of repair.

“Oh, is it?” I called down evenly, brushing my long blonde hair away from my face as I peered toward the ground. Shucks almighty, I was in a bind. “Looks like finder’s leaver’s if you ask me.”

7

I was used to Sean and Toby’s jokes, but this one had the potential to end poorly. What was their motive?

Theory number one—the eradication of boredom. That or of all the feeling in my legs.

“How’s the weather up there? Breezy?” Sean laughed, gesturing at my small athletic shorts, which were scrunched up in an unflattering fit. I tried to pull them down, but made a split-second grab for the backboard as the rim let out a strained creak instead.

Theory number two—wisecracks without fear of retaliation. It was looking like they were on a pseudoscientific roll today. “It’s a bit chilly,” I admitted, glancing away at the rain clouds

smothering the Sandia Mountains. “Nothing I can’t handle. Feels good, actually.”

“You sure?” Sean continued. “Looks like you might be needing some pants there. Not that we mind the view, you know.”

I chanced another grab at my shorts and successfully released the rest of the fabric over my exposed skin.

“Weather’s fine, actually.” I said. “What’s bothering me is the unrelenting pain in my ass.”

Toby smirked. “Yeah, Sean does tend to kill the fun.” “I meant the hoop,” I said. “But you have a point. Pun unintended.” “Ah,” Toby said, raising his eyebrows. “Well, what if we told you that we

were going to leave you hanging?” His eyes crinkled at the corners. “Pun intended.”

“Do it. I dare you.” “Walk away, man,” Sean interjected. “Do it. Let’s grab our stuff and go. I

bet she’ll be screaming for us in, like, thirty seconds.” I knew they’d come back. They weren’t cruel. As proposed, they

shouldered their bags and walked past me through the gate. I listened to it rattle back into place as it shut behind them. Their footsteps and muddled voices eventually faded into silence, leaving me with only my thoughts.

Still, I couldn’t help but feel being stuck up on a hoop like that actually was a little cruel of them. I didn’t want to let on how much the hoop was

8

really hurting my ass, nor did I want to express just how worried I was about falling to my demise. Could it be that familiarity had finally bred contempt? After all, I’d known them both since I was five. They’d lived here in Albuquerque, New Mexico all their lives; I moved in from out of state. After spending twelve years together, it seemed plausible that they’d worked up some resentment. Or maybe they figured I needed a good slap in the face to remind me they’re bigger and stronger. Well, that was only true of Toby—Sean just had a small dog mentality going on.

I stared off at the shed and building adjacent to the court. I was starting to feel embarrassed for just sitting there like a sack of potatoes.

Which brings me to theory number three—force Zanni to beg for mercy. Eventually, it began to feel like I’d been sitting there for hours. I had

quickly determined that I was definitely in danger of falling; the creaks and groans under me confirmed that. Of course, night was fast approaching—the sky was growing darker and fading into an ominous sapphire. It struck me as a cliché damsel-in-distress situation best saved for bad movies.

I sat still and listened carefully for any sounds suggesting my rescue, but the air remained silent. I found myself glancing again at the Sandia Mountains, following the clouds as they drifted slowly across the dimming sky. I’d always admired them. Tall, majestic, a vast expanse of life and growth. A good place to go hiking as well, which I’d done many years ago. However, the Sandias didn’t seem as inviting at this time of night. Their dark presence was intimidating, and their emerging aura of gloom surrounded me with despair. The familiar chills began, but they subsided quickly as I forced my thoughts elsewhere. What was I waiting for? I could get down without their help. I was being ridiculous.

I tried to adjust myself, but I quickly realized my hips weren’t going to let me down without a fight. I couldn’t get a solid grip on anything. Excuses aside, I had also chickened out. I’d have to wait it out on the hoop after all, wouldn’t I?

A few minutes later, uneven footsteps began to resonate distantly from the shadows. I peered into the darkness as I searched for the source. I

9

wanted to slap the living daylight out of whichever one of them it was. This joke was, by far, the least tasteful or well thought-out joke they'd ever plotted.

“Toby? Sean?” But as the figure drew closer, I realized it wasn’t either of the guys. The

approaching body was too thin to be Toby’s and too tall to be Sean’s. The figure was surrounded by intense darkness, which disappeared as it

stepped into the fading light. The dude was grungy and taller than I’d expected, with a square, angular face. Shadows drew emphasis to his high, sunken cheekbones and the large purple bruise covering the lower left half of his face. His black shaggy hair stuck up wildly and clung to his face. He wore a thin black t-shirt and ragged, ripped jeans. It seemed like he was living rough; the guy was emaciated and covered in dirt. Although his face was emotionless, his bright, hauntingly blue eyes pierced through mine and told me everything I needed to know – something wasn’t right about him. He looked like a total drugged-out creepo.

He stepped forward. A strange calm passed over me; a sobering stab of serenity. My back

tingled softly. He stared up at me wordlessly, gazing into my eyes as if he were under

a spell. Seconds went by. His expression remained unchanged. When he finally spoke, it was robotic; monotone and uneasy. His voice was scratchy, almost as if he hadn’t spoken in a while.

“It’s a bit cold to be sitting up there on a night like this, don’t you think?” The stranger lowered his head and closed his eyes briefly, then returned

his gaze to me. The light they emitted seemed less striking, but that did nothing to set me at ease. Normally, I was friendly with anyone, particularly guys, but I had a bad feeling in my gut about this one. My heart started to hammer, and a surge of adrenaline rose up in my chest. The guy looked menacing, and my body was reacting accordingly.

“I saw what those guys did to you. Your ‘friends’ aren’t very considerate,” he added slowly, but with increased inflection. He glanced around the court with a slow sweep of his eyes, the rest of his body rigid. His raspy

10

voice had a hint of an accent I hadn’t heard before. I stared down at him, unnerved by his odd mannerisms and his dark

presence. God, what a creep. He staggered forward again as if he were drunk, and he still had that unfriendly look plastered on his face.

“What do you want?” I muttered. He glanced at me and gradually smiled, oblivious to my display of discomfort. His smile was even more unsettling.

“I’m just here to help,” he answered quietly, but it almost sounded like a question. He stared off into the distance with sudden interest. I remembered it with a jolt; the stepladder propped against the fence. He shuffled past me and out of sight to retrieve it.

My stomach flipped. By now, my fears had become irrational, and worst case scenarios were speeding through my mind without relent. It was hard to believe that life could potentially end like this—trapped on a hoop, pulled down by a hoodlum on a ladder, and degraded accordingly. Had I not done enough community service? Committed some horrible sin in a past life? Eaten one too many pieces of chocolate cake on my last birthday?

He returned with the ladder clutched in his bony hands. He slowly unfolded the ladder and placed it under the basket, then clicked on the safety latch.

“Here. If you can hang off the rim, you can step on the top and climb down from there,” he offered. “I’ll catch you if you miss it.”

I stared down at him in disbelief, my entire life swirling through my head all at once. He had to be insane. Did he really think I would be willing to trust myself to a total stranger who looked like he hadn’t showered in a month? Maybe he was homeless. Even better.

“How can I trust you?” I called down. I wished Toby would hurry the hell up and KO this guy.

“Well, it’s either this or sleep on the hoop,” he said stiffly. A gentle breeze swept across the court. The stranger shivered uncomfortably as the cold licked his skin, his mouth tightening into a grimace. When his eyes met mine, I wasn’t ready for what they contained.

11

Fear. Well, that makes two of us, buddy. There was no wild, murderous look in his eyes, which made me

reconsider. He seemed vulnerable. But what did that prove? The awkwardness could all be a game, a lure to reel me, the fish, in to be killed and dismembered. I scanned for a bulge in his pocket—a gun, a knife—but didn’t spot one. Fear or not, he was filthy and weird. Call me judgmental, but I liked remaining among the living even if it meant pissing off a few homeless people.

I weighed my options. I was a fast runner, and I knew a little karate—unfortunately, maybe only enough to fight a tree. But what was the advantage of staying where I was? If murder was his intention—if he did have a gun—he could still point it and pull the trigger. And if I fell and shattered a bone, I’d be done for. The guys would be brave. They’d get down there and kick the crap of him. I was a big girl, literally. He had nothing on me. I couldn’t just sit there and hope to be rescued: I’d have to take matters into my own hands.

I took a deep breath. Shucks it to hell, I was going to do it. I was going to get off that rim and save my ass all on my own.

“Fine,” I said. I turned and grabbed the top right-hand corner of the backboard. I

carefully worked my way off of my painful seat and maneuvered to the side. The distance seemed high—my feet dangled at least five feet from the ground. The backboard began to slant as my weight teamed up with gravity.

I lined up the ladder in my vision. Surprisingly, it was right where it needed to be. If nothing else, the stranger had a good eye—but hopefully not a steady hand to go with it.

I took a deep breath, wondering if it would be my last. I was stupid for letting the guy put his hands on me. At least I’d thrown some punches around before.

Ok. One . . . two . . . On three, I let myself drop.

12

Immediately, I knew I had miscalculated. My outstretched foot collided with the top of the ladder at an angle, sending it ratcheting across the ground with a screech.

His hands caught me easily and his strength surprised me, considering how thin and weakly he looked. He brought me to the ground and stood me on my feet, then backed away quickly before I could punch, scream, and bolt like a bat out of hell. He stepped away cautiously. His eyes met mine again, and I felt something strong, but strangely enough, it wasn’t fear.

Suddenly, he didn’t seem so foreign and nightmarish—in fact, he seemed almost familiar. The sense was not that I’d met him before, but that I understood him and, well, cared for him in some impossible, freakish way. My mind felt clouded; the only thoughts that made sense were the ones telling me to have faith in him, to give him a chance. He was on my side.

But he had already turned away. “You can trust me,” he murmured as he walked away into the night.

“I’m not a monster. ” The feeling faded away as I watched him close the distance back toward

the shadows. By then, I was too befuddled with myself to speak. But I had to say something, didn’t I? I had to apologize, thank him, or do something other than just standing there looking like an imbecile.

“Thanks,” I stammered, my voice cracking pitifully. Weak. But it was too late. He was already gone, swallowed up in the shadows

once more. Out of sight, out of earshot, and out of mind. For now.

. . . As I hurried home, I fought to make sense of the night’s events. Toby

and Sean, the stranger, my irrational feelings—they all seemed to loop in

13

my thoughts like a record on repeat. I was getting nowhere, yet somehow I found myself unable to hit the ‘stop’ button.

My thoughts cycled back to Toby and Sean, giving me the overwhelming urge to call them and express my rage while it was still fresh and teeming. Why the hell hadn’t they shown back up? They should have at least had the decency to make sure I was OK. I fished around in my bag for my cell phone, but came up empty-handed. I glumly realized that I had left it on the kitchen counter, plugged into the wall charger. Never mind that. I had other things to grind my gears.

I moved on to The Stranger. While I’d been trapped on the hoop, he had come across as threatening, yet something about him in hindsight seemed queerly gentle. That unsettled me. He’d gone from being some filthy down-on-his-luck kind of guy to someone I trusted in a matter of seconds, and with just a mere touch. And those eyes — shucks ahoy, those eyes were strange. Mesmerizing. Maybe that’s what made me so uncomfortable.

I’m not a monster. Who says something like that to a stranger? At least he recognized my

discomfort, although he sure didn’t acknowledge it when it mattered. Had he explained himself before telling me to take the plunge off the backboard, I might have felt more comfortable with the situation. Instead, he’d chosen to knowingly come off as a creep and maintain it throughout our encounter.

And what was up with all of that fear? I’d never been so scared in my life, and I certainly wasn’t known to be a coward. I truly believed I was going to die up there, or at least die fighting. Was it unreasonable of me to have been scared of some tall, gangly guy with bright blue eyes? More than anything, I was embarrassed for myself. I hoped the guys hadn’t witnessed my plight after all for the sake of my dignity.

It took me a few more minutes to reach my house, and by then, I was more distressed than before. I unlocked the front door and made my way to my bedroom. The house seemed empty, but I called out to my dad just to be sure. When no response met my ears, I dumped my bags to the floor beside my desk. After taking a deep breath and angrily slamming my fist

14

down on the desk to let off some steam—something I was no stranger to—I was more than ready to turn in for the night. At least I didn’t have school until Tuesday. I’d have all of tomorrow to recover from my emotional meltdown. I could read some fashion magazines, repaint my nails, and eat a pint of ice cream all by my lonesome.

I changed my mind as soon as I plopped onto the bed. I was too frazzled for any of that. In fact, I was sick to my stomach. Relief flooded me as I nestled into the covers of my bed, makeup and teeth be damned to muck up my face in the morning. What mattered to me most was that I was, aside from being rattled, no worse for the wear.

But was I? Could I ever un-see those eyes or un-feel that bizarre shift in emotions that totally caught me off guard? Time would tell. But for now, I wanted nothing more than to just sulk around and sleep it off.

But there was one last and extremely unnerving question that would leave me sleepless and freaked out until I had some sort of reassurance that it was nothing to worry about.

Why the hell was the guy watching us in the first place? Well, shucks. I had a long, long night ahead of me.

15

2. TENSION Enter morning. “Zanni! Your phone’s buzzing!” my mom, Jean, shouted from the

kitchen. “I’ll be there in a minute!” I shouted back despite having no intention of

actually getting out of bed. Instead, I continued to lie in a little ball under the covers. Several minutes passed before a wave of initiative finally helped to pry me out of bed.

Her announcement was still ringing in my head, but I was in no great hurry to do anything about it. I began to make my bed with an unusual level of precision and deliberation, which wasn’t out of habit; rather, I was willing to do anything that didn’t involve checking my phone and hearing a slew of half-baked excuses.

Why hadn’t they come back for me? After the sheets and covers were picture perfect and my bedside table

was rid of used tissues and plastic cups, I rearranged the pillows against the headboard. The one I had slept on was smeared with makeup as a consequence of not having washed my face the night before. To avoid any questioning from my mother over the black and streaky tear-stains, I pulled off the pillowcase and buried it in my pile of dirty clothes. My little secret.

With the tidying up out of the way, I stepped around my bedside table to open the blinds masking my window. The morning light peeked through the slits and instantly penetrated the gloom of my hovel. Outside, the street was radiant and alive as the sun worked its magic high up above.

If only it could work some magic on me, I thought bitterly as I took in the light like an etiolated plant. I was in a terrible funk, and the day hadn't even started yet. Hurry it up, will ‘ya?

My dreams had been dominated by The Stranger. Our encounter had repeated as if on a loop, but through a peculiar filtered and old-time effect. His eyes had glowed at me without relent, although an occasional blinding flash of green light blocked them from view.

16

These images continued to flow through my head as I stood by the window and watched two squirrels frolic across the lawn. If I was going to have any fun on my day off, I needed to distract myself. After taking in the nice weather awaiting me outside, my mind was made up—I’d take a jog. Get my juices flowing and all that jazz.

I went into the bathroom and washed my face. My reflection revealed just how silly I looked, and I couldn’t help but laugh at the severity of the smudges and streaks of eye makeup running down my face. Once the smears were gone, I looked well rested and relatively untroubled.

After changing into a pair of black shorts and a loose white t-shirt, I made my way into the kitchen with my socks and shoes in hand. The aroma of pancakes met my nose as I stepped through the alcove.

“Hold on, Suzannah,” my mom said as she glanced at my running gear. “Breakfast is ready.”

“Cool,” I said, dropping my stuff next to my chair. Sure enough, I'd even forgotten about breakfast.

I glanced over at my cell phone on the kitchen counter. True to my instinct, the message light was blinking. It was too early in the morning for cheese and whine, so I left the phone where it was. Besides, I was positively ravenous given I had skipped dinner the night before.

“Toby called the house phone last night to ask where you were,” my mom added after I’d sat down at the table. “He said you weren’t answering your phone. I almost woke you up to talk to him, but you looked so comfortable in there that I told him you were asleep. He said he’d just wait and call again today. You just missed him, I think.”

Her unstated question radiated through the room. It wasn’t the first time, nor would it be the last.

“Everything’s fine, Mom. I forgot my phone here yesterday. He must have tried to call me a few times and not gotten an answer,” I told her. “I was pretty beat yesterday, so I crashed before you and dad got home from work. I didn’t bother to check it then either. Went straight to bed.”

It wasn’t a lie. Of course, there wasn’t a chance in hell I’d tell her about the blue-eyed Stranger. Something told me that the truth wouldn’t go over

17

very well with my mother. “Anything going on that I should know about?” she continued after a

moment as she cocked her eyebrow at me. “Are you two having a fight? Did you break up?”

I shook my head even though I wasn’t sure about the former. “Everything’s fine. And shit, we’re not dating.”

“Well, alright,” my mom said as she flipped several pancakes onto a plate and set them to the side, where she proceeded to drown them in maple syrup. “And I don’t want to hear that word again, you understand? Not in my household.”

Mid-gesture, she brushed her hand against the still-hot pan and cursed. “Duly noted, Mom.” We both laughed. We all swore. The reprimands were a running joke

between the three of us. I couldn’t help but glance at my phone again as I approached the stove.

It blinked back up at me eagerly. Finally, I gave in to temptation—avoiding the problem wasn’t going to make it go away. If I wanted to feel better about the previous night, I’d have to get some answers.

“I’ll go ahead and give him a call,” I muttered as I pulled the charger from the wall with my free hand. “See what’s so urgent.”

I carried the food to my room with my phone dangling precariously from the end of the charger. After the plate was safely on my desk, I tossed the cord onto my bed and sat down on my small wooden chair.

Here goes. With that, I opened my phone—and what I found was unexpected. The screen display was full of dozens of missed calls from Toby, and a

voice mail for nearly all of them. I had to admit to myself that I rather liked the look of it. Slightly disconcerting, however, was the lack of Sean’s name on my ‘missed calls’ list. An unpleasant reality to mull over, but it would have to wait. Maybe he had some great excuse I’d be forced to hear later.

I pressed the “return call” button before I could change my mind. Toby picked up on the first ring.

18

“Finally. Zanni, I’m so sorry, but shit, you could have at least called me back, like —”

“So this is my fault now?” I’d never heard him apologize to anyone. Even still, not all was forgiven.

He had some more explaining to do, and I wasn't about to let him forget it. “Zanni, I feel horrible. I —“ “I’m not a flimsy little girl, Toby. I didn’t need your help. I could kick

your ass any day of the week.” “So why do you sound so pissed off at me?” “Because…” I started, and then I decided to give in and be honest

against my better judgment. “Ok, you caught me. I want to know why you guys didn’t come back. I mean, that was just beyond stupid of the both of you. You guys knew that was dangerous as hell.”

“We were coming back for you, Zanni. We were. I don’t know why we left you up there so long. Believe me, I feel horrible about it. I kept telling Sean that we should turn around, but he kept walking. I got all pissed and told him that we were turning around or I’d punch his lights out and go alone. After we got there, I went after the guy, and Sean was supposed to check and see if you were ok.”

“He didn’t. Neither of you did.” “I know he didn’t,” he replied. “Why do you think I called you so many

times? That dumb shit must’a taken off.” He paused awkwardly. “I’d kill him if he hadn’t been my friend all these years.” “So did you catch up with the guy?” I asked. I didn’t want to get him off

on one of his anti-Sean tangents. It was really a wonder Sean still hung around with us.

“Yeah, I did.” “And what happened?” Toby paused. He was hiding something. More intrigue. “More on that later. Meet me at the park, usual place?” “Sure. Was about to head there anyway, with or without you.” “See you in a bit, then.”

19

I finished off my pancakes. After pocketing my phone, I stopped into the kitchen and slipped on my socks and shoes, giving my mom a nod as she cleaned the dishes a few feet away. Normally I’d give her a hand with them, but hanging around too long would mean letting something slip about last night. College-bound aside, I was still under my parent’s jurisdiction, and if admitting to the encounter with the creep meant a ban from going out at night, I’d rather keep mum about the whole thing and deal with it on my own terms.

“Off to the park. Tell Dad I say hi.” Before she could ask me if Toby and I were back together or not, I was

out the door. I began my jog down the driveway and out onto the street, but breakfast was still heavy in my stomach. I slackened my pace in defeat.

The neighborhood was still, and the silence was, ironically, bordering on deafening. After a minute or two, a group of kids on skateboards filled the air with whoops and cheers as their decks connected with the curb. The sun was warming my face gently; the sky a tranquil blue, the clouds wandering aimlessly across the blue horizon.

But when Toby came into view as I stepped into the park, there might as well have been fireballs and tornadoes hurling down from the sky.

“Toby!” I groaned as he came up to greet me because I couldn’t quite accept

what I was seeing. His arms and legs were covered in bruises, which he hadn’t even

attempted to hide. The ones that caught my attention first were his swollen, black left eye and the deep cut on his lip. On closer inspection, his arms had small marks, probably from being pushed, and his knee was a deep purple.

“Explain,” I demanded, gesturing at the bruises. “What the hell did you get yourself into, huh? You're huge. Wrestle Sasquach after ditching me or something?”

He grimaced. Although he stood a good five inches taller than me, he seemed to look up at me guiltily like a child would if they were about to be severely reprimanded.

20

“It was him,” he began. His eyes flickered. “That guy from yesterday. I went to confront him, got a little hostile, and this is what he did to me.”

“So you guys saw the whole thing,” I said, “And you didn’t do anything about it. You’re shitting me.”

“Hear me out, hear me out. Yeah, I saw. Sean wasn’t there. Actually, I saw after the guy grabbed you. I caught up with him when he was walking away. I didn’t know what he’d done to you. Did he do anything?”

“Other than being guilty of acting like a giant creep, nothing. It’s more than I can say for you two clowns. At least he did something, you know.”

I was a little skeptical. Although The Stranger had proven to be stronger than I originally thought, he was still thin, wiry, and only a few inches taller than me. Toby, who was muscular and beefy, should have been able to defend himself easily. What had really gone down?

“Get this. I called Sean this morning, and he tells me to, you know, have relations with myself and go to hell. He hung up on me. And you know what?” he added suddenly, his eyes narrowing. “I’ve just about had it. We’re going to go over there. To his house. That little shit is going to apologize to you, and if he doesn’t, I’m going to let him have it.”

Before I could open my mouth, he grabbed me by the wrist and led me toward Sean’s street, his pace quick and furious. I tugged my wrist from his ironclad grip, which he loosened reluctantly.

“Dude, you’re overreacting,” I said as we rounded the corner. Sean’s one-story house came into view. “What the hell’s gotten into you, anyway? Just forget about it. You’re freaking me out.”

“Frankly, I don’t give a shit what you think. We’re gonna get this sorted out once and for all.”

With a few final strides, we were at his door. His parents’ cars were gone, which meant that a full-on shouting match could occur easily and without interruption. I stared at the peeling paint as Toby banged loudly on the screen door. Between the bruises and the rage, I’d figured he’d just about lost his mind.

“Sean!” Toby gritted his teeth as the seconds flew by. No response emanated

21

from within the house, so he tried again. “Sean, you useless bastard, get out here!” Sean appeared at the door, shirtless and dripping wet. “Tryin’ to take a shower here!” he said as he made his way to the screen

door. When he saw Toby standing there, his eyes narrowed. “Oh, it’s you. What the hell do you want?”

Toby turned and pulled me into view. I pushed his hand away and glared at Sean. The both of them were acting like children.

“Apologize to her.” Sean leered at us through the screen. The look on his face made the

atmosphere shift drastically, and I had a gut feeling on what it was heading toward.

“Nah. I don’t think so.” He chuckled suddenly, his face cracking into an odd, strained half-smile. “This…friendship stuff has gone on too long. I’m done. I’m out. I’m sick

of all this bullshit. You two couldn’t care less about me. It’s true, isn’t it? Who’s the weak one in our circle? Who’s the one who feels left out and gets the shit end of the stick all the time? Huh? Well, I’ve had it.”

He paused, his anger growing before my very eyes. He’d finally snapped. “You chose him, Zanni. I’m going to just say it—I’ve liked you for a long,

long time. I’ve tried to impress you. I’ll admit it, I even got a girlfriend to try and make you jealous. But as long as you’re with dipshit there, I’m done with you.”

I glowed a ripe crimson. I instantly felt like the world’s biggest jerk for toying with him all those

years, but I quickly had to remind myself it wasn’t my fault. It was all on him. Why didn’t he get it? Why didn’t it ever cross his mind that I was playing along, that it was what all of us did? I never wanted to be anything more than friends with him. Anyone could see that, so why couldn’t he?

“Why didn’t you get her last night?” Toby hissed through clenched teeth, his hand clawing the screen inches from Sean’s face. “Are you that pathetic that you’d let her die just because she doesn’t want to get in bed with you, you little coward?”

22

“You’re her freaking boyfriend, man. Little Toothpick Arms here can’t do shit, remember?”

My stomach churned as my two best friends began shooting insults and curses back and forth as if they were enemies fighting to the death through verbal assault. The fallout had been inevitable from the start. I had to just step back and let the inevitable happen, didn’t I?

“God damn you!” Toby screamed, lunging at the door handle. I stepped forward and shoved Toby back. The screen door slammed into my back, and I could feel Sean’s hands through the mesh.

“Zanni, do you not understand? He doesn’t want to be your friend because you won’t sleep with him!”

“There’s more to it than that, and you know it,” Sean added quietly. I stepped away to look at him. “Zanni, you don’t know the half of what goes on when you aren’t around. You’re a mean one yourself, Toby. You’ve got a lot of good in you, but you’re an evil, two-faced bastard to everyone but her. Between the two of you, I don’t know how I’ve...well, that doesn’t matter. It’s over.”

He began to turn away, but stopped mid-turn. “Good job last night, by the way. Looks like you had a real good handle

on the situation. You’ve got yourself quite a man there,” he added with a smirk. “Just remember—you had your chance, Suzannah, and you blew it.”

And with that, he was gone. The front door slammed in our faces, the click of the lock resonating like a shot from a gun. I had to admit it: in that moment, I was too hurt to be angry. Whether I’d intended it or not, a chapter of my life had probably just ended. It’d just be me and Toby for now on, and I wasn’t sure if I was ready for that after all.

It’s what you’ve always wanted. “C’mon,” Toby urged me softly. “Let’s go.” He wrapped his arm around my shoulders and led me away from the

house, leaving me no time to absorb the finality of the gesture. The gravel churned beneath my feet with hollow audacity, as the rest of the street was painfully silent. Eventually, he let his arm drop to his side. I was grateful – I needed the space. I was only human, and was quickly beginning to feel

23

terribly guilty and confused and everything in between. “Did you know?” I asked slowly, taking in the ground carefully. I almost

wanted to cry, but this wasn't the time or place for it. “Did you know that he bought into all of that, and for all this time?”

“Yeah,” he admitted. “On some level. Wasn’t a problem until recently. But what could I do, you know? Not talk to you anymore and kill our friendship to make him feel like a man instead of a snotty-nosed punk? Well, as far as I know, anyway,” he added quickly. “I don’t know how you feel about him. But one thing’s for sure, I know how he feels about you. And frankly, it’s sick.”

“You know,” I said, “You could have told me to cut out the jokes. I liked teasing him, but had I known he was taking it so freaking seriously, I would’ve backed off. Really, I would have.”

“I did it to protect you,” he blurted. I looked at him. His eyes were suddenly misted, which was unnerving. Toby never got emotional. I guess he had some regrets too. They were pretty close friends even before I moved to town. “I did it to protect you.”

“From what?” “From him. You deserve better. You don’t need an ass like that in your

life forever.” I sniggered. “Oh, so I suppose some overly protective freak like you is ideal, then.” I’m not sure if it was something I said or an already building surge of I-

hate-the-world testosterone, but Toby’s eyes flared with a rage too big for himself. Every muscle in his body began to shake. It was as if a demon had seeped into his pores and seized his entire being. Maybe he was going to turn into The Hulk and break Albuquerque.

We both had our share of anger problems — my being short-tempered and his being aggressive — but this was over the top.

“We should do something,” I told him. I deliberately backed away as his eyes grew darker. His mouth twitched dismissively. “Go walk around the park. It’ll take our minds off of everything. Dude, you’re scaring me again.”

I turned away to leave him to his tantrum. Maybe he was going to go

24

beat up Sean. Hell knows what was going through that guy’s mind. I’d never seen him in a state like this before. He looked like he wanted to rip everything around him to shreds, including me.

“Sure,” Toby blurted hoarsely. Breathing a sigh of relief, I retraced my steps and found that he had turned his back to me. His normally impressive stature looked somehow deflated, as if someone had opened a valve and let a good amount of air escape. He wasn’t back to normal, but at least he was probably safe to be around again.

“Toby? You alright?” “I’m fine.” When he turned toward me, there was no rage left in his eyes—only

sadness. He was taking it hard. I guess his weird episode was the macho guy equivalent of crying. I wouldn’t understand.

“C’mon,” I said, stretching my arm over his shoulders the best I could. My turn to be the tough one. “Let’s go.”

He stood in place for a few long moments before finally complying. And so we walked in silence.

Still, I was stunned at this sudden change in Toby’s behavior. He seemed shattered, almost as if someone had died.

Friendship’s a weird thing. Sympathy leaked into me. I could see where he was coming from, in a

weird way. We were getting older; outgrowing old ways and moving on as adults. Sean wasn’t progressing toward college. He was just as wrapped up in High School as he’d been when we first entered as freshmen. Chances were we would have drifted apart after graduation anyway.

I rubbed Toby’s back, but it didn’t go over well. He picked up his pace and sped off. I didn’t rush to join him. He’d come back. He always did.

Sure enough, he stopped abruptly when he reached the entrance of the basketball court. He didn’t turn to see if I was behind him, although he could probably hear me. He appeared to be calmer than before once he looked back, which I took to mean he was, for now, recovered from his man-moping.

“What do you want to do?”

25

It was a simple question, but oddly, I was suddenly having a hard time piecing the words together into a coherent phrase. My head was fuzzy, and I was starting to see odd colors intermingling with everything before my eyes. The sky and trees in front of me were starting to blur together, and with my next step forward, a huge wave of nausea passed over me and sent me straight to my knees. It wasn’t because of Sean, I realized quickly enough. I wasn’t having some post-traumatic grief over the incident. This was a burst of dread that made me, for the first time, feel physically sick.

“Zanni?” Toby was crouched in front of me with his hand extended. “You ok?” I breathed deeply, brushing my hair out of my eyes in embarrassment.

It was over. The feeling had left as quickly as it had come, leaving me looking like a crybaby who couldn’t even stand on her own two feet.

“Yeah. I’m fine. Got real dizzy there.” I took his hand and winced as he pulled me up. My knees were

scratched—I’d cut them on the pavement. “And I’m bleeding,” I muttered, watching the blood drip slowly from

the wound. “Shucks, that’s really giving me the warm fuzzies. Gross.” I wasn’t the biggest fan of blood, but neither was Toby. It made it easier

to whine about knowing we were on the same page. “Good thing I’m not a vampire,” he said with a chuckle. “I guess that’s

one thing we have going for us now.” “Hilarious.” “Go clean up,” he said. He sat down on a bench and patted the space

next to his legs. “I’ll be here.” I nodded at him. Hell knows what sorts of things were creeping into my

open cuts now. I made my way toward the women’s restroom, a small brick structure at the rear of the park. To no great surprise, I had it all to myself. I soaped up a paper towel and cleaned the grime and blood away, then rinsed off my legs thoroughly. The soap stung, and I couldn’t help but hiss.

The weird vibe was returning again. I wanted to get back to Toby, and quickly. Something didn’t seem right, and the hairs on the back of my

26

neck were starting to stand straight up on end. I dropped the soiled paper towel into the overflowing waste bin and bolted through the door. The outside chill caught me by surprise, and its lick against my skin made my heart jump.

When I got to the bench, it was empty. Toby was nowhere in sight. “Shit.” I was going to rip the guy to pieces. That is, if something bad hadn’t

happened to him. I pulled out my cell phone and pulled his number up. “There you are.” I pocketed my phone. “Well, hot damn. Thanks for that.” “Had to take a leak.” “Charming. Thought some rogue park spirits grabbed you or

something,” I said. I punched his shoulder playfully and he winced, which I was sort of glad about. He’d worried me by disappearing. If something happened to him, what would I have left?

“Well, let’s do it, shall we?” Toby stooped down to tighten his shoelaces, which were loose and

neglected. I guess he was in such a hurry to get to me that he forgot to tie them. When he stood up, I noticed that he looked better. His eyes were brighter and he didn’t have that dull, dead look about him.

“Alright, let’s go. We’ll hit the court and use the flat ball in the storage shed.”

“Sounds like a plan.” It was going to be weird playing without Sean, but still: basketball was basketball, and it would take our minds off of the day’s — and previous night’s — events.

When we stepped onto the court, I peered with curiosity into the shadows despite myself. I couldn’t help but remember how creeped out I was. Also, who was to say the guy wasn’t watching us again? I hadn’t thought about that in advance. Was this something he did regularly? Did he live in one of the storage sheds and watch us because we were there, or was there some sinister motive behind it? I could only hope it was a one-time thing.

27

“So what do we do if blue eyes comes back?” I asked. “Sean?” Toby asked with alarm. “No,” I said. “The Stranger. You know, the guy who beat the hell out of

you.” “Oh, right,” Toby said. “Yeah. I have no idea.” “You think he’ll be back?” Toby laughed dismissively. “To get another piece of me, I’m sure, seeing as he didn’t tear me up

enough last night…” I laughed. And when I laughed, I turned away to cover my mouth, and

that’s when I noticed. Stars above, there he was. I could see the rough outline of The Stranger’s body leaning against the

wall with folded arms. I grabbed Toby’s bruised arm to get his attention. I was full of adrenaline, which was heightened from all the bad associations I’d made with the guy since last seeing him. This time, I wasn’t going to stick around to make those associations stronger.

“Ouch, what—" “Toby, that homeless guy’s here again. I’m not shitting you, look at him.

By the back wall.” I glanced up at him and leaned closer, my voice dropping to a whisper. “There.” I pointed toward the shaded alcove between the two buildings at the

end of the court. “You see him, right?” “Yeah,” he breathed anxiously. “I see him all right.” The figure shifted and took a step forward. Toby’s muscles tensed up

under my grip. “You’re right. Let’s get out of here.”

…

28

He swore under his breath as the boy and girl disappeared into the distance. He knew that staying hidden in the shadows was his only option given the outcome of the previous night, although he still strongly desired to speak to her and explain himself. She was terrified of him, and quite frankly, he couldn’t blame her. His own reflection startled him each time he caught it in a window or restroom. He’d never looked—or smelled—worse in his life.

He smiled as he called to memory the heart-stopping feeling he’d experienced the night before. Her expression upon seeing him face-to-face—it was a look of desire, fear, and understanding. It was exactly what he felt at the time as well, which made him uneasy and giddy all at the same time.

But that disgusting cad she called a friend had to go and ruin it. Meanwhile, he, the least of her problems and with nothing but good

intentions, had quickly devolved into just some creep out to get her. Out to get her. He chuckled out loud. He supposed he could see how

that might seem to be the case, but it was far from the truth. He was just as ‘out to get her’ as were all of the others, but to her, he was a stranger, an enemy—an outsider. A gritty, stalking, confused outsider that was the spitting definition of anomie. He was lost and alone in the world, and all the normalcy in his life had gone out the window long ago.

But there was one thing that he was absolutely sure of and that needed no further pondering – he was going to go broke buying a McDonald’s hamburger.

“The things we do for destiny,” he muttered in disbelief.

29

3. GOOD OL' COMPLICATIONS I forced myself to turn off the alarm as soon as it went off. Even though

I’d spent the night at home with some classical music and a warm blanket, I wasn’t able to sleep soundly in the end. I was getting severely creeped out by the stranger in the shadows. The more I thought about him, the worse I felt. By the end of the night, I’d conjured up dozens of horrible scenarios involving either my murder or my heroic, newsworthy escape. One thing's for sure: I didn’t sleep well.

I sat up—bleary eyed and irritable, of course—on my first try, then stumbled out of bed toward the bathroom. I prepared my shower and tried not to imagine a knife slicing through the curtain and into my face. The scalding hot water wasn’t going to make me feel refreshed today.

As I lathered some shampoo into my hair, I forced myself to think about the upcoming school day. Immediately, the History test I had neglected to study for came to mind, as I’d be taking it in a few hours. As usual, I wasn’t too worried, and not just because I was generally somewhat arrogant about everything I did. I’d always had a knack for History, and I knew colonial times through today’s events like the back of my hand. There were a few of us with this sort of dedication, which earned us the collective nickname “The History Sages.”

I finished my shower and got dressed. A quick dig through the closet produced a pair of straight-legged jeans, a black and white baseball shirt, and a black rain jacket. Not wanting to go plain-faced, I bordered the tops of my eyelids with a thin smudge of eyeliner and patted some powder foundation onto my cheeks and forehead. Feeling composed, I slipped on a pair of ballerina flats and took a final look into the mirror.

You’re alive, I reminded myself as my gussied-up reflection stared back at me. I still looked pretty dang bewildered. Could’ve been worse.

With that, I trudged into the kitchen and grabbed a box of cornflakes. Agitated or not, I never skipped breakfast if I could help it. Food was my

30

kryptonite, among other things. I took my cereal to the kitchen table and eased myself into the chair. As

expected, the hoop had left my derriere sore and bruised. I reached across the table for my dad’s abandoned newspaper. The headline was grim: “A Loss for USA—Senator Briggs Found Dead.” I wasn’t in the mood for more depressing stuff, so I slogged through the comics instead.

The minutes flew by, and before I knew it, it was time to go. I hoisted my backpack over my shoulder and stepped outside. After locking the door behind me, I took a moment to recollect myself by pausing and taking a deep, deep breath.

No more worrying. It’s all gonna be fine. Get over yourself. I slid into my tattered baby blue Subaru Legacy and shrugged my

backpack off onto the passenger seat, then nudged a calming cassette of harpsichord concertos into the tape player. Using a tape player felt old-fashioned, but that’s what had drawn me to the car in the first place. For some reason, this one had stood out to me above the bright muscle cars lined up across the used car lot. A gentle color, an eye-pleasing shape—a quaint little car that I had come to refer to as The Rev for its surprisingly quick startup speed. Not bad for a car my age.

I glanced into the rear view mirror at my reflection. I still looked bewildered, but I also looked tired. In the little time I’d managed to get some shut-eye, there had been plenty more dreams of green flashes of light, the stranger’s face, and those eyes piercing straight through my soul. In the mirror, my dull brown eyes looked back at me as if asking me what to do.

Get a grip, you. I put the car in reverse and backed out of the driveway, then zipped

forward. Traffic was at a standstill in the school parking lot. Horns were honking

and drivers were sticking their heads out their windows to get a better look at the problem, so I did the same. I discovered the gates to the first

31

few rows of parking were locked, meaning the people toward the front couldn’t turn their cars around. Typical.

I veered off into an unobstructed open lot and parked, then groaned as the distance to the entrance of the campus met my eyes. As a student with a decent GPA, I earned the privilege of parking in the front, so I suddenly felt sorry for the poor saps who had to walk the long trek from the back lot every day. Besides, this meant more time for thinking, which I sure didn’t need.

With my backpack slung over my shoulder and the car locked, I began the slow journey toward my first class. My feet felt like lead. Knowing Sean was going to ignore us and spread malicious rumors like the little brat he was didn’t help. I wondered where Toby parked. I wished we would have carpooled. I needed someone to talk to.

In lieu of a friend, I pulled out my iPod and successfully drowned out all thoughts with the sounds of heavy guitars and agitated drums, so much so that I didn’t hear the silhouette running toward me before it locked me into an awkward, one-armed and over-the-back embrace.

“Hi, Vince,” I said. I removed my ear buds with a quick yank. His elongated fingers brushed my shoulders briefly. Vince was one of those overly friendly types, which wasn’t necessarily a bad thing, although he tended to catch me off guard because he was a sort of coked-out friendly type.

“Hey there, gorgeous,” he said with a grin as he swept sea-green hair out of his eyes. He squinted at me against the morning sun, and his brown eyes shimmered pleasantly. “Where’re your bodyguards?”

“On paid leave,” I muttered, somewhat joking. I was known for having my little man-pack, making me the female equivalent of Archie sans red hair and, well, that little thing called romance.

“Ah. So I see. Want me to walk with you, then?” “Sure,” I nodded. “Haven’t seen you in a while. You and Toby don’t

mesh too well, I’ve noticed. Guess that’s why I haven’t seen you, huh?”

32

He shook his head. “Nah, not really.” It felt somewhat strange to be walking with Vince, but I ended up not

minding the company. He had always been an acquaintance; someone that I’d talked to in class but had never hung out with otherwise. I didn’t know much about him beyond what he’d told me in idle chit-chat.

“Did you hear the news this morning?” he asked. His voice dropped to a low murmur. “Senator died of a heart attack. They said he was in his early forties or something. As if you could believe that.”

“Huh,” I grunted. I recalled the newspaper article I passed on during breakfast. “That’s pretty weird. Then again, that kind of job comes with a lot of pressure. Surprised more of them don’t drop dead more often.”

Vince’s eyebrows furrowed and his eyes met mine expectantly, as if to say, ‘come on, you know where I’m going with this.’

Except that, well, I didn’t. “Well, I’m thinking he pulled a few strings somewhere. He looked like

he was in his mid twenties. Early forties my arse.” “Why, you think he was?” I said with a laugh. He looked so damn

serious about it. “That’s impossible. You gotta be thirty to be eligible for the Senate. Maybe he had a facelift and some lipo. It’s not unheard of, you know. They make bank.”

I was starting to pick up an odd vibe from the conversation. His gaze was too intense and his demeanor too expectant. Was I missing something, or was he tripping?

“Exactly my point,” he murmured excitedly. He glanced up. “Don’t you see? He’s one of—" “Yo, Zan-nay!” Toby strode toward me, but his eyes had shifted to Vince. “One of what?” Toby asked quietly. Vince took a backward step. I didn’t blame him—Toby was tall and

imposing, even when he didn’t mean to be. I got the feeling they’d had a

33

few legit scraps at some point or another. “Nothin’. Just talkin’ to Zanni about a conspiracy theory.” “You were looking right at me when you said that, man.” “Nah, I was talkin’ about that Senator.” Toby grimaced half-heartedly. “Oh, that. Yeah, I heard about it. That’s a

shame. Screws up things for New Jersey, doesn’t it?” “Sure does,” Vince nodded as he buried his hands in his pockets. “Well,

here’s your girl. I’ll be seein’ you later, then.” He strode off quickly into the distance with his head ducked low. “Weird,” I muttered to myself. That was total out of character for Vince.

Why had he felt compelled to discuss a dead Senator with me? I had never mentioned having an interest in politics, and he’d never been one to speak up about it either. Between my lack of sleep and Vince’s weirdness, my day wasn’t getting any better. Maybe I was reading into it too much. It was possible that stuff like that was what normal people talked about on a regular basis. I wouldn’t know.

“He’s the definition of weird, all right,” Toby chuckled. “And shit, looks like we’re going to be the definition of late.”

He was right—the time had managed to fly by, leaving me thirty-something-seconds to travel five minutes.

I shoved my headphones back in and picked up my pace.

. . . He walked to his temporary home, an old building—formerly a church,

ironically enough—that was crumbling away with time. The walls were ruined by the abuse of many rainstorms, and the original flooring had been ripped out, leaving nothing but a bare dirt foundation.

He stepped inside and was greeted by the cold silence he’d lived with for the past few weeks. He curled up under the heap of mismatched blankets

34

and shivered as the early morning wind licked the room and whistled through the cracks in the desecrated building.

No food, and no money. In the politest terms he could think of, he was utterly screwed.

Running away had been a bad idea—that was for sure. He’d been able to keep his literally useless wings under wraps for almost five years, but then he’d blown it. He cringed at the memory, which was still fresh in his mind.

A boring Friday night had turned up a shy little loner—himself, of course—on that empty street, and the gang of guys that were always in trouble with the law decided to put a little scare in him. One had grabbed and slammed him to the ground while another flipped open a pocketknife and held it to his throat. He didn’t know that the guys had no intention of actually killing him, so that’s what did him in—his goddamn survival instincts, because out went the wings and his big dark secret.

The incident wasn’t justification for running away, but he knew in his heart that he had to do it. Even though no one would believe the men if they told the story of the boy with the big black wings, he was still afraid that something bad would come of it.

So he had gotten down to business. He’d snuck home, grabbed some essentials, and then brought his parents together to tell them about the horrible secret he’d been keeping for all that time.

And it was just his luck, as usual. They were completely terrified of him and screamed at him to leave as if he were the devil himself holding a fiery-hot pitchfork.

At that point, running away was his only option. He shifted himself again, still agitated by thoughts of the other night at

the basketball court. To make things worse, the girl’s face was etched into his mind, and it was staring at him with wide green eyes. His heart fluttered as he remembered how they’d changed from brown to green when they had first met. What did that mean? He again recalled the

35

horrible feeling of desire that had seized him as he walked up to the basket. She haunted him now, and he knew that he had to see her again, to be there for her when it all went down.

It was time to try a different approach.

. . .

I stepped through the door of my History class just as the bell rang. “Glad to have you joining us, Ms. Anderson,” our jolly, robust teacher

announced, making sure that everyone knew I had violated his please be seated and ready to go before the bell rings rule.

“Car trouble,” I said. He shook his head. He’d heard it a thousand times before, no doubt.

“We’ve got a little lie-yah among us, eh?” a voice exclaimed loudly from behind me—Vince’s voice, I realized. I turned and arched my eyebrow at him. He winked, then looked down and began rummaging through his backpack. I thought I saw a slight look of satisfaction cross his face, but I couldn’t be sure. Despite being so open and friendly, he was hard to read sometimes. He was probably more of a superficial socialite than anything.

“…And I’ve postponed your test until the third, also known as mañana. Well, we didn’t have time to cover everything I noted in your syllabi from last week,” Mr. Lyons prompted, “so I’ll go ahead and cover it today before we move on. Please procure the handy little textbooks I’m sure you all brought with you to class today…”

He pulled down a world map that screeched as it unrolled, then launched into his grand and enthusiastic whirl of tales of dead men and bloody battles.

By the time the bell rang, I felt like I’d been beaten over the head with a sledgehammer. A headache, which had gradually built in severity with

36

each battle explicated, was beginning to slow me down. I continued to pack up my things while the rest of the class pushed its way out the door.

All but one. Vince was still standing behind me. I could see his reflection in the TV

monitor. I felt an unusual surge of irritation. What was his deal today? He was going to try and chat me up about that dead Senator again, wasn’t he?

“Five years of pure hell, eh?” he asked casually as he stepped in front of my desk.

I looked at him blankly. On a weirdness scale of one to ten, he was definitely breaking fifty.

“If you’re talking Math, then yeah, but I think we’ve been taking that longer than five—"

“No, I mean the other thing. You know, in line with Briggs’ death.” “Briggs'….” I glanced at him in exasperation. Not that again. “Vince, I don’t know

what you’re getting at. Can you spell it out in plain English, bro?” He studied me with the weirdest look on his face. I wasn’t sure if he was

going to cry or laugh. “You don’t know yet, do you?” he said with wonderment. “Sorry about

this, just gotta check somethin’….” Vince reached out and grabbed my arm with his bony hand, and it

surprised me that he was actually quite strong. He gently moved his hand to my shoulder blade and began to rub it in a circular motion. His face was twisted in concentration.

Shucks almighty, this was beyond bizarre. Between the stranger’s reemergence, my headache, and Vince’s total descent into madness, my mind was a plate of scrambled eggs.

And they were absolutely steaming. “Back off, man,” I snapped as I whipped away from his touch. He pulled

his hand away gingerly. “What in the hell was that? What’s your problem today?”

37

“Aw, well,” he mumbled as his eyes grew wide. He drew back a few feet, his hand still frozen in midair. “It’s just—I thought you were— "

“Were what?” I demanded with indignation. “Deformed? Seriously, what’s this all about?”

“I…I can’t tell you,” he mumbled weakly. “It must have been a misunderstanding or somethin’—”

“Yeah, sounds like it,” I snapped, refusing to let his dejected expression waver my anger. I was too tired and crabby to be patient with him. “And I’d appreciate it if you didn’t touch me again. Just stay away from me, you drugged-out asshole.”

I pulled my textbook close to my chest. “Effin’ creep.” I swept my bags off the floor and strode out of the room, leaving Vince

to ponder my caustic remarks. I wasn’t sure why I felt so enraged with Vince. Sure, he was acting like

he was out of his mind, but it didn’t justify me pulling the ‘effing creep’ and ‘drugged-out asshole’ cards on him. I wasn’t afraid of physical contact, and it wasn’t even bad physical contact, for that matter. Still, something about it seemed too personal. Maybe I’d been spoiled by Toby and Sean’s usual hands off approach and wasn’t used to how other guys behaved. But hadn’t Toby broken that rule by putting his hands on me yesterday? Why hadn’t that gesture bothered me as much as this did? Maybe I’d have to Google that Senator and see what the deal was. Or was it possible that Vince really came to class stoned like I suspected?

My headache and irritation with Vince lingered for my next two classes, following me like I was a chocolate bar coveted by a little fat kid. As I sat down to eat lunch with Toby, it dawned on me that I was stressed out. Quite a few odd things had gone down over the past day or two, including the loss of a long-term friend’s friendship and one seriously freaky encounter. Maybe I took my frustrations out on Vince. Maybe I shouldn’t have.

38

Still, something was weird about what Vince had said and done. I couldn’t downplay his emphasis on the death of that Senator. You don’t know yet, do you? It seemed so conspiratorial. And what in the hell did some dead Senator have to do with five years of pure hell? Were the two things related?

“Something up, Zanni-O?” Toby asked after a while. I looked at him mid-bite of the sandwich he’d split with me. “Missing Sean? It is pretty weird not having him here, I’ll admit it.”

It was no surprise that Sean hadn’t joined us at the table today, but what was unexpected was that he hadn’t shown up for school at all. In fact, the dynamic of the class I shared with him was tangibly strained, even on the teacher’s part. It wasn’t a small school, so the news of our rift couldn’t have spread through word of mouth. Besides, who the hell would care about the three of us having a fight? Whatever it was, it wasn’t my problem anymore. He needed to grow up.

And Toby was wrong—of course, Sean’s absence wasn’t what was on my mind.

I told him the truth. “Vince’s being a weird little snot today,” I said bluntly. “He groped me.

Said it was a misunderstanding.” Toby froze, his mouth occupied with most of his sandwich half. Was that

a look of jealousy on his face? “He felt up my shoulder after History. It wasn’t nasty, but it wasn’t

exactly, you know, a friendly pat. I don’t know what it was, actually. It was weird. I’m thinking he came stoned today.”

Toby stared at me blankly and nodded slowly, then crumpled his plate into a mess of Styrofoam and tossed it into a trashcan near our table.

“Need to get to class a little early. I’ll catch you after school,” he said flatly, giving me a vague smile before picking up his black tattered backpack. “I’m sorry that Vince messed with you. If I see him, I’ll see what his…intentions were. Text me if he pulls anything else.”

39

With that, he wove through the sea of students wandering the cafeteria. I watched him disappear into the crowd and knew where he was really going. He had his fight face on. When Toby held a grudge, the end result was never pretty for the opponent, the exception being his face-off with The Stranger.

I didn’t want him to knock Vince’s lights out or anything, but I did want to know what he had been trying to accomplish with the shoulder groping. Maybe, just maybe, Toby would keep it civil and ask before punching. In retrospect, the whole thing wasn’t such a big deal. I debated going after him, but decided it wasn’t worth the effort. I had bigger worries to contend with.

I finished my lunch in a final bite. My least favorite class of the day was coming up. Thick-skinned or not, something about a room full of high school girls made me feel like crap.

When I pulled the locker room door open, my nose was met with the stench of sweat and perfumed lotions. I opened my locker, changed clothes, and tied my hair into a half pony-tail as I walked right back out the door. Ironically, the smell was fitting for the atmosphere—utterly repulsive. My kingdom for a high school co-ed street-ball league any day.

I walked into the gym and sat on the floor off by myself. The other girls were busy chatting and laughing about some shitty

band and someone's on-off romance in a large cluster nearby. I listened but kept my mouth shut. I was still the outsider, even after years of being their teammate. Their lack of acceptance was something I’d grown used to. I was one of the guys. I wasn’t girl-clique cool. I hung out in a different group. I was as pretty as any of them, but somehow, my friendships and personality just didn’t mesh with what they held important. My confidence plummeted in that class, but I never told Toby that. I never invited him to a game. I didn’t want him to know that I could be incredibly weak sometimes.

In came Coach Heath. After he took attendance, I knew what was

40

coming. I didn’t like it. “Running up top, half an hour!” he called out. More agitation and exhaustion. Just what I needed. I got up and made my way upstairs.

…

I returned to the locker room and changed back into my regular clothes,

patted on some more foundation, then pushed my way out of the door in silence. I plopped down under my favorite tree in the courtyard to wait for Toby.

The tree was small, and most of the leaves had turned red and dropped to the ground to wither away to a dead brown. I studied the class ditchers and early release students as they meandered around the campus. Fragments of conversations and arguments reached my ears, but they began to jumble as I drifted off into my own whirl of thoughts. I closed my eyes and left them that way.

Shucks, what a day. First with the lack of sleep, and then with the damn parking. I felt bad about Vince too. I’d definitely taken my anger out on him. He hadn’t done anything to me. I’d have to go swallow my dignity and apologize to him one of these days.

I almost felt disappointed. Back when I’d been hiding in the shrubs, I felt hope. It was stupid for me to think that a pile of loose dirt within the shrubbery could communicate that to me, but I had kept an open mind. My teammate skills hadn’t improved, and I hated the knowledge that all the strength I had from street ball crumbled when I hit the gym. I was an odd creature.

Why had everything suddenly taken a turn for the worse? “You goddamn useless bastard!”

41

Had my eyes been open, I would have been too distracted by the people walking around to notice the shouting. It was hard to hear, but that didn’t slow the wave of recognition that whirled through my head. It was Toby’s voice. I couldn’t pick him out from the slow bustle of the courtyard at first, but I finally spotted him hovering over Vince in a corner. They were clearly having an argument, and a heated one at that. I listened in with closed eyes and open ears, but I only managed to pick up staggered fragments of their exchange.

“You stupid little shit. Why did you…what?…what? Fine. I will. But you leave her alone.”

I opened my eyes. Toby added a final inaudible statement to his tirade before storming

away with his fists clenched tight. His eyes were glued to the ground. “Toby?” I called out as he began to pass by. His smile was strained, and

there was no masking the embarrassment on his face—in fact, his cheeks were beginning to flush red. I must have startled him. I guess he didn’t want me to know about his little threat to Vince.

He slumped down on the grass. “Hey Zan,” he said with a grunt. The clouds shifted across the sky and

sent a burst of shade over us, which made me shiver slightly. He eventually looked up at the sky, revealing the lingering tension in his eyes.

“What happened over there with Vince?” I asked. “I talked to him. Told him to keep his goddamn hands off of you,” Toby

muttered. “He told me to leave him alone. No big deal, the thing’s resolved.”

“You know I don’t need your protection, right?” “Whatever.” “Whatever yourself. Remember…” “…I could kick your ass any day of the week,” he said. “Damn straight. “So you’re ok?”

42

I chuckled. “Yeah. Peachy. Wish you wouldn’t have threatened Vince like that, dude. It wasn’t a big deal. I overreacted. Still freaked out over the park creeper, though.”

Toby was looking off in the distance again. It was almost as if he was searching for something but not trying very hard to find it. His expression was completely vacant. It had to be about Sean, didn’t it? But rather than having a heart-to-heart talk, I would stick to the old standby for the sake of his tough-guy persona. Unspoken rule.

“Are we playing ball after school?” I asked as I picked a withered leaf from the ground. On a whim, I crushed it in my palm and let the pieces fall from my hand. Toby glanced down at the remnants and grimaced.

“Whatever,” he said. His brow furrowed as he picked up a nearby leaf and pinched the stem between his fingers. After a few seconds, he closed his fist around it and let the pieces drop into place next to mine.

Without warning, he pushed himself off the ground, swung his backpack over his shoulder, and extended a hand. The spark in his eyes had returned, and he had the hint of a smile on his face.

“Nah. Let’s walk to the park,” he said as he pulled me up, suddenly himself again. The shift was alarming, and it hadn’t been the first time he’d seemingly pulled a one-eighty on his moods over the last few days. I thought back to when Sean gave us the boot and remembered that Toby had performed a similar turnaround.

Was there anyone not acting strangely today? “Couldn’t we just drive? I don’t want to walk all the way back here just

to pick up my car. I’m beat. Ran upstairs today.” “Nah, let’s walk.” Toby’s smile grew wider. “Ran here, so car's at home. I

can drive you later.” “Deal. As long as the creep isn’t hanging around, I’m all game,” I said.

“And I’m going to sound like a total wuss, but do you really think we should go back? If he’s there again, I swear I’m gonna call the cops. I can’t take any more inexplicable crap today.”

43

“I think we made our point to him yesterday,” Toby reminded me. “He knows that we know where he was. If you’re really that freaked over it, we can skip the court and check out the park. We’ve never really done that before.”

“Aw, you’ve got a sensitive side,” I said. He smirked. “Sure.” That sounded pleasant enough. Maybe we’d have a brief talk about

things. Neither of us liked bringing up personal matters, but it always seemed to help when we got over ourselves long enough to do so. In the past, I had the chance to learn about his wild, unruly parents, and he got an earful on my life before I moved, back when I lived in a shitty house in a backwoods state. We both had our sensitive sides, but we were always on a mission to out-tough each other. Secretly, I hoped that would change a little over time. Although I didn’t want the two of us to become emotional saps, a good heart-to-heart every so often would be, well, nice.

It was quiet, and true to our natures, neither of us was willing to break the silence. Autumn leaves trembled from the tall rows of trees bordering the sidewalk and dropped occasionally as we traveled under their shade. Our feet crunched down on the leaves as we passed, reducing them to shards of had-been beauty.

I couldn’t help but feel a little sadness as I glanced back at the mess we had left behind. It didn’t seem fair. Come autumn, those leaves were condemned to be trampled on and destroyed; to wither away and become lost in the soil or a rat-laden gutter. Eradicated at the peak of their beauty. I found myself stepping around the still in-tact leaves. Nothing, not even a little leaf, deserved that kind of fate. Sad.

A leaf fell from one of the trees above and grazed my cheek, taking me by surprise. I opened my palm and clumsily caught it as it fell past my shoulder. It was perfectly shaped; fresh and flawless. After taking in the delicate green pigments and the moist stem, I realized that it kind of contradicted my previous thoughts. This one was vibrant and fighting, and even though it had been cast aside, it was still teeming with life and luster.

44

It was too strong to be trampled to pieces like the others. The wind picked up and swirled, which stirred the leaves and whipped

them across the ground in a sea of brown, red, and gold. The force likewise lifted the green leaf out of my hand and sent it rolling down the sidewalk until it disappeared out of sight. Such a beautiful moment, only to be ripped away just as soon as it came.

Toby peered into the distance, and I quickly followed suit. A dark figure was approaching. I thought nothing of it at first—people walked the park all the time—but the footsteps, uneven and familiar, turned my blood cold before I could speak.

It was him. It had to be. The sound of his walking had been too prevalent in my night frights for me to not recognize it.

The Stranger was coming. For the first time in my life—the second time, counting the night

before last, my fear—that damn useless thing—was too strong. I closed my eyes. I couldn’t move. Within seconds, a jarring wave of green light passed under my eyelids, which forced them wide open.

Run, you stupid shit. Run. I started to turn, but my legs were shaking too violently. I grabbed

Toby’s arm and squeezed urgently in lieu of words. “Wait.” It wasn’t the Stranger’s voice—it was Toby’s. I turned around hesitantly.

Maybe it wasn’t the Stranger coming toward us after all. Maybe I was so on edge that I’d tricked myself into getting shaken up over nothing. Maybe I needed to pop a pill and chill the heck out.

The cold blue eyes boring into mine said otherwise.