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Copyright 2013 by Jonathan Thurston
All rights reserved. No part of this publication ay be reproduced! distributed! or transitted in any for or by anyeans! including photocopying! recording! or other electronic or echanical ethods! "ithout the prior "rittenperission of the publisher! e#cept in the case of brief $uotations ebodied in critical revie"s and certain othernoncoercial uses peritted by copyright la". %or perission re$uests! "rite to the author! addressed &Attention'(erissions Coordinator!) at the address belo".
Jonathan Thurston*0+2 ,"y 200,uron! TN 3-3*""".thurstonho"l.blogspot.co
Cover illustration copyright 2013 by Theresa /igiacooAuthor photo copyright 2013 by teven asten
(rinted in the nited tates of Aerica
4N 5+-61*-20*25
%irst dition
1* 13 12 11 10 7 10 5 - + 8 * 3 2 1
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For my wonderful Temerita,
The one who fights me for my pillows at night,
Insisting that the foot of the bed is for the dogs,
And then promptly asks me why I dont lie there instead.
Stay brave, my dear.
Carpe notem.
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1
9 not gay. 9 also not a se# addict. 9 not even a lustful rabbit.
don9t drea of se#! and don9t thin: about it all the tie li:e ost
guys y age do. ;hen 9 not "or:ing out at the gy or sitting at
hoe in y bo#ers playing soe etude on the grand piano! don9t
lay on y couch "ith y laptop on the table! asturbating to soe
feline gals playing "ith one another. ean! don9t get e "rong.
li:e se#. ;ho doesn9t< 4ut 9 not an addict. And 9 not gay.
a a pianist! a hopeless roantic! and a rabbit! and that eans
strength. thin: a strength itself soeties. =y pa"s are
treendous! yet each finger is delicate and long. =y faily calls
the piano hands. =y friends call the "eapons of ass
destruction. =y ars and chest bulge "ith uscles soe rabbits
don9t even :no" e#ist. =y legs stretch y pants to reflect the
s"eeping contours and arches of each uscle. a strength.
The proble "ith being strength though is there al"ays sees to
be soeone stronger! soeone better! soeone "ho can turn the
tides and a:e a bunny out of a rabbit li:e e. No! this isn9t a storyof e getting y ass :ic:ed by soe hyper6buff! egotistical bull or
e$uine. No! this isn9t a story about e coing out of the closet >9
not gay? or e overcoing the forces of soe ruthless villain. till!
it9s a story. t9s y story! and 9 going to tell it li:e it is.
All the sae! "here does y story start< guess it began in the
city! Chicago to be e#act. That "as the day of the perforance! of
myperforance. ;ell! sure! there "ere other players! but "as the
star of the sho". =ore iportantly! "as going to "in. ;hen "on!
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"as going to ove to the north. =assachusetts< =aine< Canadaprobably Bust a "rong nuber?. /an! the fag
fo# "as pretty unpopular if only his other and /iego called. No
"onder he did hiself in. t "or:ed out for us though! right! %linnor soeties contradictory? line! but didn9t
al"ays follo" that for.
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&"ho an see into these attendees$) fro"ned at that. That
sounded so incredibly a":"ard. scratched it out and held y
pencil poised on the space beside it. thought about "hat could
rhye "ith &attendees!) but "asn9t even sure that that "as "hat
"as loo:ing for.
&"ho an stare into these lives laid bare$
"ho an piere the meanings dear$)
H:! no" Bust needed the last line.
&)one but the shadow not marked by light.) ;o"! that Bust
sounded stupid.
&)one but the puppet ut of strings.) o! no" "as Bust a:ing
stuff up.
laid y pencil across y teeth again. The ending "as al"ays so
hard.,o" aboutG
&)one an see the glow but all mark the embers.) did li:e that
better! but the sound of it "as Bust so off.
&)o eyes unblurred* no embers glow unstirred.) No" that one
li:ed.
"hispered the "hole thing softly to yself'
&A night of lights, the ity signs,
Two thousand eyes, one thousand lives.
Strangers ross the late lamp glows,
(ut we see not the streetlight souls.
"ho an stare into these lives laid bare$
"ho an piere the meanings lear$
)o eyes unblurred* no embers glow unstirred.)
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siled at it. t actually didn9t sound half bad. heard Dova
oan in the bac:ground. =y head turned to see hi pa"ing off to
the porn he "as "atching. %ro "hat could see! it "as t"o guys
banging soe voluptuous fo#. sir:ed and "anted to tell hi!
&Fou9re so gay!) but chose not to rile hi up. ,opefully! "hen he
got off! he9d shut up for the night.
Dova "as Bust a tiger about five years y senior "ho had been in
the Carnivores for a "hile. didn9t :no" or care to :no" his
bac:story that uch. :ne" that Chicago "as "here he had been
born and raised! and :ne" he "as one of %linn9s favorites. That
"as "hy %linn had paired hi "ith e' to :eep an eye on e. Dova
had been a huge aid in the ost serious of issions! a real :iller and
hater of &rodents.)
;hat even defined a rodent< :ne" the gang had :illeds$uirrels! ice! rabbits! and even soe s:un:s. They called the
unclean and filthy! though a lot of the "ildcats and "olves of the
group "eren9t that neat and tidy theselves. They "ere a bunch of
hypocrites. ,o"ever! the thing "as that they didn9t li:e being called
that. ;hile they had never :illed any of the &superior anials!) they
had really essed "ith soe of the predators "ho dated anials the
Carnivores considered rodents. Dova had told e one story of ho"
they had gang6raped one fo# girl for dating a rat. ,e had given e
every violent little detail! and it had ta:en everything for e not to
soc: the obno#ious tiger. had to play it cool. had to play every
card right. f didn9t! it "ould ean the end for /iego and =oa
%o#! and couldn9t let that happen. had to :eep the protected.
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&/idn9t %linn tell you to go to sleep< f he finds you disobeying
again! 9 pretty sure he9ll do ore than snarl at you.)
The tiger clenched his teeth! and his pa"s tightened into fists! but
he said nothing. n fury! he rolled over! clutching the blan:ets to his
body! and tried falling to sleep.
sighed before turning to loo: outside again. This place "as
going to be y ne" hoe for a "hile. "ouldn9t have the hoe6
coo:ed eals by =oa anyore. "ouldn9t have the Boys of y
collection of poetry boo:s. "ouldn9t have /iego to hang out "ith
after "or:. The ebers of the Carnivores "ere to be y ne"
friends. tolen goods "ould probably be y sustenance! and y
only cofort "as :no"ing that /iego and =oa %o# "ere safeG
at least for no".
pulled out y phone and found =issy9s nuber. he had tolde to stay dead a little "hile ago. &=issy! s"ear it fro y grave'
if you touch one hair on /iego9s head! you9ll end up a lot essier
than that sear of e on the street.) couldn9t help but giggle at
that. %linn and had Bust used a buc:et of leftover anial parts fro
a nearby eat6processing plant and then ran the over "ith a car a
fe" ties. Add a little bit of toato Buice! and the "hole thing "as
essy and stin:y. Hne seared fo# fag.
griaced. That "as y ne" nae here. "as the fo# fag.
thought of y e#. Though his nae "asn9t 4lae! he had certainly
called e faggot "hile scre"ing e. That "as one of the reasons
had bro:en up "ith hi. The other "as that %linn had threatened to
:ill hi.
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Hh! %linn. ,e "as a control frea:! a urderer! and a onster. ,e
"as also y legal guardian and the boss of the Carnivores. And
had no choice but to listen to his every coand in order to protect
the ones cared about.
=y phone lit up as got the reply! &9 not the one "ho9s going
to touch the fuc:ing rabbit. 9 Bust cuing the lights.)
o! %linn wasup to soething. sighed. "as going to need
soe :ind of plan. f couldn9t thin: of soething! then %linn could
very "ell :ill /iego any"ay. =y $uestion "as of "hy. "as doing
everything right so far. ;hy "ould %linn go so far bac: on his
"ord< f he had Bust "anted /iego dead! it "ouldn9t have been that
hard for hi to do so already. oething "as definitely up! and
"as ore than deterined to find out "hat it "as. loo:ed over to
"here Dova "as sleeping. ight have to do a little bit of snea:ingand anipulation to find out "hat needed to :no"! but! if /iego
"as in real danger already! needed a "ay to let hi :no". And
thin: =issy "ould be the perfect "ay to go about that.
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11
As the sun pierced the dar:ness of the roo! y eyes adBusted to the
light! and the first things did "ere retch! rush to the bathroo! and
voit into the toilet bo"l. :ept thin:ing about the dic: that had
been do"n y throat yesterday. ibi. %uc: that creep. As eptied
y guts once ore into the porcelain! y head cleared. %uc:! thin:
had gotten high on frea:ing toothpaste last night had used so
uch.
groggily sat up and used the "all for support. Today! "as
going to do ore to find the Carnivores. "as certainly not in a
good state to be doing that! but had to try any"ay. %uc:.
tubling bac: to y roo! grabbed the phone and te#ted
=issy iediately. &,ave you have any luc: on the Carnivores
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Then! actually did dry heave. &%irst of all! fuc: you ibi.
econd! really need to :no" "hat you :no". thin: =arshall
ight actually be alive still! and he fa:ed his death.)
&Hh! "o". ounds serious. Tell you "hat' let9s grab coffee
soe"here! and 9ll tell you ore! free of charge.)
&ounds good. =eet you at the usual in an hour.)
&9ll be there.)
That "as "hen got a te#t fro =issy. &ood orning. ,o" are
you feeling< ight have a couple of leads for you. 9d love to eet
you for brea:fast to tal: about the.)
=y cla"s te#ted bac: iediately! &ounds good. 9 eeting
a friend "ho9s helping "ith the Carnivores thing for coffee. Can you
eet e at Ialentino9s in an hour
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ade yself a bo"l of cereal! hopped in the sho"er! and got
ready for the day. ure! had class today! but that could "ait.
needed to see ho" far could get "ith thisG investigation. (ieces of
the pule "ere falling into place! but there "ere so any still
needed. put y :ey into the ignition and drove as $uic:ly as
could to @es9s "or:.
;hen arrived at coffee! =issy "as already there "aiting on e!
sipping a cola. ;ho the hell drin:s a cola at a coffee shop! should
li:e to :no"< sat beside her "ith a sile and said! &Alright! "hat
can you tell e
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=issy had ore of a snarl to her face than a griace though.
&And "ho the hell are you supposed to be
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ibi! but he definitely recognied her fro the one eeting he had
"ent to. o! no" it "ent bac: to chess. t "as a atter of "ho :ne"
"hat. :ne" "hat =issy "as up to! though she didn9t :no" ho"
uch :ne". The thing "as that it "ould be hard to lie about
anything "ithout clear proof! and she could filter through any digital
edia.
& thought a lot about "hat you said yesterdayG about 4lae. o
did soe research on hi fro the brochure that e#isted fro the
Chicago copetition. ,e "ent to a high school in ghetto Chicago.
thin: he ight be pretty high up in a different gang in Chicago. t
"ould a:e sense then that the Carnivores are in league "ith 4lae
soeho". ean! thin: about it' he9s been essing "ith =arshall!
essing "ith e! and no" he9s even essed "ith you! =issy. 4lae
is behind it all. 9 sure hes the one "ho "as able to tap into therecords and delete his o"n inforation fro =arshall9s phone
service.)
he considered it! and could tell she "as genuinely unsure. @es
had fa:ed 4lae perfectly! so uch that even =issy believed he "as
real. ,er ove.
&/iego! if 4lae is really "or:ing "ith the Carnivores! then your
best ove "ould be to continue trac:ing the and then ai for
4lae.)
,! she "as tric:y. No" it "as clear she "as one of the. had
a feeling she "as "or:ing directly under %linn. That ade e even
ore curious though' "hy "ould %linn target e no" that they9ve
oved to Chicago< t "ould have ade a lot ore since had he tried
to :ill e "hile he "as still in Ashetville. till! nodded.
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Then! ibi added! &Are you really going to try to trac: the
Carnivores! /iego
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=issy cae up and ordered a stra"berries and crea
frappuccino. o "eird. ibi got a hot il:G H:ay! that "as
"eirder.
loo:ed over the baristas! but instead of their faces! sa" the
faces of the baristas at =arshall9s "or:. iagined their sypathetic
loo:s they "ould have given e right no". Sorry for your loss and
all that bullshit. "ould sho" the though. ;hen ne#t cae bac:
to Ashetville! "ould have @es "ith e! and everything "ould be
alright. They "ould see. They "ould all see.
;e sat do"n at one of the tables! but no one said anything at
first. ibi could tell "asn9t telling =issy everything! and =issy
"as probably "ondering ho" uch had told ibi. he "as
probably also "ondering ho" ibi :ne" about the Carnivores.
%inally! ibi spo:e. &o guys! "ho here plays video gaes
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Hh! great. ven har:boy "anted in on this. ;hat a trio "e
ade A super6strong and "anted rabbit! a bac:stabbing! gangster
"olf! and the creepiest fuc:ing shar: to ever s"i the planet.
sighed in defeat. &Alright! "e9ll leave at seven. Ket9s eet up bac:
here. =a:e sure you have clothes for a fe" days and "hatever else
you9re bringing.)
&ounds good!) =issy said.
&ae!) ibi added.
=issy "al:ed out in a hurry! obviously caught up in her o"n
thoughts. As ibi and got up! drin:s in hand! "hispered to hi!
&=arshall9s alive.)
ibi raised the uscle over his eyeG it9s not li:e he actually had
an eyebro" any"ay.
&,e9s alive! and that9s "hy "e9re going to Chicago. ,e fa:ed hiso"n death! and need to find out "hy.)
Hnce =issy "as out of sight! ibi added! &Fou :ne" she "as
part of the Carnivores
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fro"ned! y ears t"itching nervously. &They9re going to try.
Bust have to be better at this gae than they are. a going to have
to snea: into the Carnivores9 hangout and go fro there if "ant to
find =arshall.)
&;hat if =arshall doesn9t "ant to be found
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12
@eport
Fou "ill not believe "hat is happening. /iego is convinced that
4lae is very uch real and that you9ve been a:ing secret deals
"ith hi in Chicago. Fou told e "e "ere oving to Chicago due
to business advantages. Could it actually have to do "ith 4lae! at
least in part< ;hat have you not told e about this "hole ess couldn9t see hi. didn9t "ant to ris: it
being the tiger and hi having distance on e?. As the pa"steps
cae nearer! retreated into the roo! though "as sure :ne"
e#actly "ho it "as.
poc:eted y gun and stretched y shirt to hide "hat little of it
still could be seen as the s:inny! shirtless fo# entered the roo. ,is
s:inny Beans loo:ed e#actly the sae. ,is fur "as brushed the e#act
sae "ay. That goofy sile of hisG it "as e#actly the sae as reebered it. &@esG) uttered.
Then! sa" the tears in his eyes as he siled too. &/iegoG you
cae for e.)
&,eh! of course did. Fou didn9t thin: "as going to settle "ith
you being road:ill beside your apartent! did you
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=issy chuc:led! &,ey %linn! "hy don9t you tell /iego "hat you
do to rabbits
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1*
/iego pulled a"ay instantly! and becae ebarrassed and sorry.
;hat had Bust done< couldn9t believe yself and y stupidity.
had BustG eanG had kissed hi. &9 so sorry! /iego. don9t
:no" "hat Bust)
4efore could even finish that sentence! he hugged e! his short
ars "rapping around y bac: and holding e tight to hi. At first!
"as Bust shoc:ed. ,e really! really did care about e! ore than
could have ever iagined he did. ,e had ris:ed everything possible
in coing for e. didn9t :no" "hat all he :ne"! but that didn9t
atter right no". /iego "as here.
=y ars "rapped around hi as held hi tightly! tears rolling
onto y snout. &/iegoG) uttered! y eyes clenching shut! trying
to contain y eotions.
/iego rubbed y bac:! :eeping e close the "hole tie. &@es!
9 so sorryG for everything. :no" you lied about your death and
about 4lae! but :no" a lot of the other stuff "as real. 9 so sorry
ade you feel li:e that. "asn9t there for you! especially "hen youneeded e to be. @es! love you so uch! and "ould never do
anything to hurt you. 9 so sorry.)
,e "as crying too. &/iego! you have nothing to be sorry for.
Fou9re here no".) =y "ords Bust couldn9t e#press ho" happy "as
right then. didn9t :no" ho" to convince hi that it "ould all be
o:ay.
,e tightened his grip on e. &,ardly. No"! fuc:ing %linn is
going to try to :ill us. And can tell you it9s not going to be pretty.)
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;e let each other go! and as:ed! &/iego! ho" did you find ethough the very fact that he "as "hispering
turned e on ore than anything?! &Are you alright
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slapped against the "indo"! and "as about to cu. &=6=6
=arshallG) staered.
&,eh!) heard hi say. ,is pa" reached around y hips and
grabbed y dic: tightly. oaned at the sudden action. ,e stro:ed
e at the speed he "as fuc:ing e! and tilted y head bac: against
his shoulder to :iss hi. As "e :issed! "e oaned in unison.
,e bro:e the :iss "ith a yell as his full hot! stic:y load e#ploded
into e. Hne burst. T"o bursts. could feel y ass getting filled up
"ith his seed. At the feeling! y body fell into a fit of pleasure as a
long strea of cu shot out of e and plastered the "indo". ,e
stro:ed e for a fe" ore seconds! dra"ing the last fe" drops of
cu out of e before he finally stopped.
Hur chests heaved! y uscles pressing against his bony body.
,e collapsed onto e! but couldn9t find the energy even to fallright then. After "e breathed for a fe" seconds! Bust ta:ing in the
feel of that aaing afterglo"! he pulled out! and groaned "ith the
strange feeling of its oveent. ,e cae out "ith a pop! his cu
dripping fro y ass! and realied he hadn9t even penetrated e
all the "ay.
&@es! you didn9t even get your :not in e.)
,e laughed once! sharply! bet"een breaths! before saying!
&/iego! for one! you "ere Bust too tight. %or t"oG you are the first
guy "ho has ever let e top hi.)
&;hat
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& did
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18
t "as tie for the gaes to begin.
loo:ed over y victis. =issy! that useless bitch! "as
restraining the rodent! and Dova "as holding the fo# fag. The rest of
the gang "as on the upper floor of the garage loo:ing do"n at the
five of us. They "ere in for a real sho"! and "as proud to bring it
to the. After all! today "as the start of a ne" day.
&Today is the start of a ne" day)
The gang erupted into cheers. diots.
&tarting today! "e shall be the gang of Chicago! and "e shall
clear the streets of the rodent scu) =ore cheers. diots. &;e
predators shall rule the night! and all of the lo"er species shall fear
the Carnivores) An even bigger burst of applause. ;hen "ere these
fuc:ing idiots going to shut the hell upat %linn for the ost part?! and siled. ven "hen
"e told her that "e "ere dating no"! she "asn9t that upset. =arsh
"as bac:. ,e "asn9t dead! and that eant the "orld to her.
&No! =oa! don9t thin: have enough close friends to have a
full party. This is "elcoe hoe enough for e.)
;ith a sile! =oa %o# cae around the table and gave
=arsh another hug. After :issing his head! she cae around andgave e a hug too. hugged bac:. To be honest! "as glad to see
her too. &Than:s! =oa %o#!) said.
&No"!) she started! "iping the tears fro her eyes. &Fou can
stay the night here tonight! but there "ill be no! and do ean no!
horseplay in there. /o you understand e
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a:e yself believe that "as gay. "as Bust gay for =arsh.
e#uality isthat fluid! isn9t it