Copyright 2006 Washington OSPI. All rights reserved. Lessons for Introductions and Conclusions

Copyright 2006 Washington OSPI. All rights reserved.

Lessons for Introductions and Conclusions


What are the purposes ofintroductions?

Why are introductions important?


Purposes for Introductions

The introductiongrabs the reader’s attention.clearly implies an organizational structure of the paper.includes support that is specific and relevant and provides a clear, connected lead-in to a paper’s main idea or thesis.includes a thesis that is stated or implied.


Ineffective Introductions

I hope you enjoy…

Hi, my name is…

You are going to learn about…

This essay/letter is about…

I am going to tell you about…

There are three reasons…


What are some effective ways

to introduce

a piece of writing?


Introduction StrategiesA writer may begin with

– an anecdote or scenario– a quotation or dialogue– a brief history or overview– 5 W’s of situation or issue– an interesting fact– a description– a question– taking a stand or making an announcement– a contrasting situation– a combination from this list.


Analyzing Introductions from Printed Texts

Does the introduction grab the reader’s attention?

Does the introduction imply or set-up a structure for the essay?

What structure would work?

What introduction strategies did the author use?

Why were they used?

What is the main idea or thesis (either stated or implied)?


Middle School ExampleUsing the Introduction Scoring Guide, score the introduction.

Student A

There are so many reasons not to smoke and the crazy thing is that people do it anyway. Cigarettes contain tar, nicotine, and carbon monoxide. Each of these substances is very harmful.

Annotations:

Some attempt to engage the reader (…the crazy thing…)Implies a formulaic organizational structureWeak attempt of a brief overviewNo support for the thesisThesis present

Score of 2


Middle School Example: ImprovedUsing the Introduction Scoring Guide, score the introduction.

Student AThe smooth white surface of a cigarette. As you light it you slowly relax. You feel the day is over. How can you resist? I can.

Just think about all those people you are hurting, the innocent people trying to live a normal life. Then you walk by with a cigarette in your mouth. People stare at you in disgust. You try to ignore it, but all the faces are looking, watching, waiting. You sit by the subway entrance in a huge crowd. The smoke slowly drifts into the smoggy air. You hear coughing, sniffling, whispering. They cover up their noses to get away from the scent.

Annotations:

Grabs reader’s attention.Implies an organizational structure.Includes multiple strategies (scenario, taking a stand, contrasting situation).Adequate choice of supportThesis/position stated.

Score of 4



Hello Ms. C. How are you doing? I just want to tell you what new exercise program or after school program you should add. You will learn more about this new exercise or after school program.

Annotations:

No clear attention-getterImplies a formulaic organizational structureNo introduction strategiesSupport not clearly connected to topicVague thesis

Score of 2 (low 2)


Middle School Example: ImprovedUsing the Introduction Scoring Guide, score the introduction.

“Basketball, basketball, blah, blah, blah.” This is mostly a man’s exercise. What girls need is hip-hop dancing lessons. Hip hop dancing should be added to P.E. at E____. Then it won’t be “blah, blah.” It will be, “yaaa!” for girls and maybe even the boys, too.

Annotations:

Engages reader’s interest.

Implies an organizational structure

Uses multiple introduction strategies (taking a stand, contrasting situation)

Support loosely tied to topic

Thesis stated

Score of 4 (low 4)



Hello, I am a girl from the future. 100 years to be exact. I live in the big city of …., ….. and many things have changed in the past 100 years. “How has it changed?” you may be asking yourself. In this letter I am writing you I will tell you how.

Annotations:

Adequately engages reader’s interestImplies a vague structureIncludes a very brief overview and questionSupport loosely connected to the thesisThesis stated

Score of 3


Middle School Example: Improved

Using the Introduction Scoring Guide, score the introduction.

Life in the year 2005 is drastically different than in the year of 1905. Automobiles (our version of your horseless carriage) choke the air with pollution that would make you sick to your stomach. Women have the same rights as men and everyone dresses differently. We live in a time that is supposedly equal, but elitism still exists. I exist in a time that is rumored to be happy but that is not true for some. This is the future.

Annotations:

Grabs the reader’s attentionImplies a comparison organizational structureContains contrast, description and makes announcements Support connected to the thesis providing strong lead in that is clear, relevant, and connectedClear thesis

Score of 4


What are the purposes ofconclusions?

Why are conclusions important?


Purposes for Conclusions

The ending/conclusionclearly connects introduction and body of the paper with insightful comments or analysis.

wraps up the writing and gives the reader something to think about.


Ineffective Conclusions

I hope you enjoyed reading my…

In this essay/letter you have learned…

In conclusion,…

As you can see/tell…

I just told you about (exact thesis)…


What are some effective ways

that we might conclude

a piece of writing?


Conclusion StrategiesA writer may end with

– an echo from the introduction– a quotation or dialogue– an anecdote or scenario – an interesting fact– a prediction– a question– a call to action– a generalization from given information– a self-reflection – a response to a “so what?” question– a combination from this list


Conclusion Scoring Guide


Agenda Discuss introductions: purpose, strategies, scoring. Analyze introductions from printed texts. Discuss conclusions: purpose, strategies, scoring.

Analyze conclusions from printed texts.Analyze and score paired introductions and conclusions.Practice writing and revising introductions and conclusions.Score additional student samples.


Analyzing Conclusions inPrinted Texts

How does the conclusion connect to the introduction and the middle of the essay?

Does the conclusion provide a satisfying ending?


Analyze sample conclusions. Use your Conclusion Strategies list to help identify strategies the authors have used.

Find a short piece of writing with an effective introduction and conclusion. Summarize the body of the piece of writing.


Gallery Walk Activity

Form groups of 3.Choose one example from the group and copy the introduction, the summary of the body, and the conclusion to chart paper.Fold the paper up so only the introduction shows.Do a gallery walk, reading all introductions, and predict (on your own paper) what you think will happen next for each introduction.


In this picture the bottom of the poster has been folded up so that only the

introduction shows.


Gallery Walk Activity, continued.

After you have predicted what will happen in each sample, unfold the papers and compare your predictions to the summary on the paper.Unfold the charts. Next, refold the chart above the conclusion and tape the conclusion directly below the introduction. Compare the introduction and conclusion and discuss how they work together.


This picture shows the

entire poster. It includes the introduction, the summary of the body,

and the conclusion.


In this picture, the conclusion

has been folded so that it is

directly below the introduction to make it easier

to compare them.


Agenda Discuss introductions: purpose, strategies, scoring. Analyze introductions from printed texts. Discuss conclusions: purpose, strategies, scoring. Analyze conclusions from printed texts.

Analyze and score paired introductions and conclusions.Practice writing and revising introductions and conclusions.Score additional student samples.


Now that we have looked at introductions

and conclusions separately,

let’s analyze and practice scoring

some introductions and conclusions

from student papers.


Expository - Rainforest Destruction Introduction

In one minute, 100 football fields of the rainforest are gone. Deforestation is the process of cutting down trees, killing animals or plants, and ruining the natural habitat of the rainforest. The biggest cause of deforestation is logging. There are many other causes as well as adjusting to overpopulation by constructing houses or buildings. The need for goods, such as rubber for tires, is also a reason for deforestation. Humans are affected because the whole world suffers when the rainforest is destroyed. The climate changes and the air gets warmer when trees are cut or burned down. Although the problem of rainforest destruction continues, people are currently trying to stop it. Organizations such as the World Wildlife Fund have set up reserves for animals and plants where they can live safely. Colobine monkeys are in danger from the destruction because they spend half their time in trees and the trees are rapidly being cut down.


Rain Forest Destruction Conclusion

Many trees every day are cut down in the rainforest due to logging. Every day more people are born and new houses built. In only a few years many species may become extinct forever. The deforestation causes the earth to get warmer which can effect all species on the earth. People are helping to stop it, but rainforest destruction still continues. The traditional people of the rainforest lose their culture and homes. Eight percent of the rainforest is gone and more is on its way to vanishing forever.


Persuasive - Animal Testing Introduction

“Unseen they suffer, unheard they cry, in the loneliness they linger, in the darkness they die,” is a quote from the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals. Each month, millions of animals suffer and die because of the testing of toxic products and weapons on animals. The cruelty of animal testing causes many animals to die horrible, painful deaths, even though they didn’t do anything to deserve this fate. Why do we test products on animals, when we wouldn’t want these products tested on ourselves? There are many reasons why animal testing is wrong and should be stopped.


Animal Testing Conclusion

Animal testing must be stopped. Both humans and animals will benefit greatly if laws are made to abolish this inhumane action. Many steps need to be taken to stop animal testing. By becoming involved and changing your buying habits, we all can be one step closer to the goal of ending animal testing.


Persuasive - Less TV Introduction

Did you boo when Stone Cipher (the head of Boeing) cheated on his wife? Did you cheer when Martha Stewart got sent to jail? Whether you did or didn’t, the facts still were shoved in your face quite rudely. Stone Cipher was fired. Martha was repeatedly ridiculed and lost much of her respect in the business community. Is this because every little thing they do will somehow affect the world? No. Is it because for some strange reason, Stone Cipher cheating on his wife will change how he runs a company? The way the population of the United States looks at famous and important people is ridiculous. We need to pay less attention to their private lives and much more to our own.


Less TV Conclusion

If your life isn’t interesting enough, make it more interesting. Don’t just sit on the sidelines and watch TV, do something with your friends; have some fun. If you want to waste your time, I can’t stop you, but I can ask you to at least consider some better ways to use your time.


Agenda Discuss introductions: purpose, strategies, scoring. Analyze introductions from printed texts. Discuss conclusions: purpose, strategies, scoring. Analyze conclusions from printed texts. Analyze and score paired introductions and

conclusions.Practice writing and revising introductions and conclusions.Score additional student samples.


Apply and AssessEvaluate an introduction and a conclusion from your own writing that need improvement.

In your group, revise one introduction and one conclusion for each member.

Discuss the different strategies you used.


Assess

On your own, revise another introduction and conclusion from an earlier piece of your writing.

Rejoin your group.

Use the Introduction and Conclusion Scoring Guides to score one of your revisions.


Your Assignment . . . .Write to this prompt.

If you could be any age, what age would you be, and why?

Focus on your introduction and conclusion, using the Scoring Guides to help you.


Agenda Discuss introductions: purpose, strategies, scoring. Analyze introductions from printed texts. Discuss conclusions: purpose, strategies, scoring. Analyze conclusions from printed texts. Analyze and score paired introductions and

conclusions. Practice writing and revising introductions and

conclusions.Score additional student samples.

Documents

Copyright 2006 Washington OSPI. All rights reserved. Lessons for Introductions and Conclusions