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Constructive Communication. Dealing with conflict. Sandy Anderson Libby Mahaffy November 7, 2011. Goals. At the end of this session, you will have: Seen everyday use of negotiation skills Been exposed to a negotiation framework Observed asking, listening and reflecting - PowerPoint PPT Presentation
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Constructive CommunicationDealing with conflict
Sandy AndersonLibby MahaffyNovember 7, 2011
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Goals
At the end of this session, you will have:• Seen everyday use of negotiation skills• Been exposed to a negotiation framework• Observed asking, listening and reflecting• Practiced a new approach• Received a list of helpful resources
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We communicate all the time
• Sometimes it doesn’t work as we expect• The consequences can be significant• Miscommunication can lead to conflict
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We negotiate every day
• It’s not just for diplomats or lawyers• We all do it frequently and without conflict…
most of the time• We all have emotions, bias and history that we
bring to a negotiation• Every conflict has within itself the seeds of
resolution
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Negotiating successfully
Copywrite 2011, Anderson & Mahaffy
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Mediation – assisted negotiation
• Sometimes we need outside help• Neutral 3rd party who facilitates negotiation• Useful in working through organizational,
public and private negotiations and conflicts
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Role play
• Notice how you feel watching this• Capture your observations• How do we figure out how to do this
differently?
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A framework for negotiation
Positions
Interests
Options
Solutions
What someone says they want, their “demand”
What is really important to a party, the deeper “need”
The possible ways the parties could have their needs met
The agreement negotiated between parties, that meets their needs and allows them to move forward
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The “sweet spot”
• From positions to interests• Strategies mediators use– Asking open-ended questions– Listening– Clarifying
• Focus on moving forward, not on the past• Take time – slow down
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Nonviolent Communication•Seeks to understand motivations and remove judgment•Encourages empathy for yourself and others
Observations
Feelings
Needs
Requests
Taking in the situation – what someone sees, hears, remembers, imagines
The feelings that emerge from the observations
The needs connected to this feeling – universal, personal
Strategy to meet your own or others’ needs – a specific request of yourself or another – action to take
Source: Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life, Marshall B. Rosenberg, Ph.D.
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Role play
• Another possible outcome
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Resources
BooksDifficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most – Stone, Patton & Heen (1999)Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In -- Fisher, Ury & Patton (1991)Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life – Marshall B. Rosenberg (2003)The Power of Nice – Shapiro, Jankowski & Dale (2001)
TrainingContact Sandy or LibbyMediation Works, Inc – www.mwi.org (reference this presentation)NVC Boston – www.nvcboston.org
Sandy [email protected]
Libby [email protected]
Contact Info
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Q&A