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Conflict Resolution
Win-Win Solutions
Conflict• When two people Disagree on an issue.• Quarreling and Conflicts are healthy and not signs of a bad
relationship. It is how the conflict is handled that can be the problem.
• Many conflicts occur because of people’s different opinions.
• How do you handle conflicts?
Conflict Personality
Aggressive Behavior
• Takes their own rights into account and not the other person’s.
• Feel that everyone should be like them.• They are never wrong.• Closed minded• Interrupts• Domineering/Bullying• Handle conflict by harming others.
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Assertive Behavior• Believing we have a right to have ideas and feelings.
Standing up for our rights and still respecting the rights of others.
• Effective active listener• States limits, expectations• Decisive• Operates from choice• Eye Contact• Handle conflict by using problem solving.
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Passive Behavior
• When I take the other person’s rights into account and not my own.
• Don’t express your true feelings• Always agrees• Apologetic• Avoids ignores leaves• Powerlessness• Handle Conflict by doing nothing
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How would each style say this?• “I’m returning the $5.00 you loaned me. (aggressive)
• Sure you may borrow my umbrella. (passive)
• You did it wrong. (assertive)
• When are you going to come back? (assertive)
Do Responses in Study Guide
Shape draw
Conflict Resolution:
• Encourages a better understanding of the other person’s point of view and helps to resolve conflicts in a positive way.
• Done by– looking at things from
another’s perspective (point of view),
– trying to see their point or view– then looking for a solution that
meets both underlying needs.
What do you see? What does your table partner see?
Moving or Still?
Conflict Resolution is Brainstorming All Possible Solutions that meets both
people’s needs.
Car SharingYour family has one car.
You need to go to a meeting tonight, and your Mom
needs to go grocery shopping.
How many Solutions can you come up with?
Cake Cutting ExerciseYou are in charge of a Birthday
party for four Children. You have one Cake and need to
cut it in 4 equal parts. Brainstorm with your partner how many different ways you could cut it.
Or,cut it in equal layers
ETC…
What Doesn’t Work?• Yelling, • Refusing to change or compromise• Refusing to work out the conflict• Name calling • hitting • Walking out• Belittling• Most Passive and Aggressive Behaviors• DESTRUCTIVE COMMUNICATION!
How do you react when someone uses power to force you to do something? FightFlight / AvoidanceObedience/ Shutting Down
• Assertive Techniques,
• Win-Win Attitude,
Co-operation
• Negotiation
What Does Work?
Win-Win Game
3 Types of Conflict Resolution
• Win-Lose: The Door-Mat• Lose-Lose: The Downward Spiral• Win-Win: The All You Can Eat Buffet
So use……
Win-Win Conflict Resolution: A belief that everyone can win by co-operation and seeing perspectives. Avoiding competition and comparing.
Steps to a Win-Win conflict Resolution in the study guide.Will go into more detail on this during marriage unit.
Hug O’War by Shel Silverstein
I will not play at tug o' warI'd rather play at hug o' war,
Where everyone hugsInstead of tugs
Where everyone gigglesAnd rolls on the rug,
Where everyone kissesAnd everyone grins
And everyone cuddlesAnd everyone wins.
Share your Conflict Dialoguewith another group.
• GRADING SHEET: Choose two students to evaluate your presentation. One point for each item displayed in your role play.
• Have them sign your paper and then Switch.
When is Conflict Positive?
When we are able to resolve internal and interpersonal conflicts, Using win-win problem solving.
Every relationship will have some conflicts at some time or other.When we use win-win problem solving, it strengthen the relationship.When we don’t, it destroys it.
Who Owns the Problem?
What is the Owner’s responsibility?
The person who is negatively affected by the Problem.
To find a way to resolve the problem, even if he is not the Cause of it.
Preparation
Give a description of the problem that respects all involved.
Explain how conflict resolution can enable all to win, and explain the steps.
Include only those concerned. Agree not to slip back to the win lose methods Find a good time and place with no distractions. Get something to write down ideas.
Identify the problem or issues
Use I Messages to explain your own concerns, needs and basic goals
Use reflective listening to hear and acknowledge the other’s needs and basic goals
Evaluate exactly what each of your actual needs are with the problem. List needs.
Don’t accept sudden promises not to cause the problem
Brainstorm to Generate all possible
solutions. • · Think of any and all possible ways to
solve the problem so that everyone will have needs met.
• · Evaluate later NOT NOW• · Do not criticize any suggestion. Feed
back with reflective listening • · Write down all ideas suggested.
Evaluate the alternative solutions
Ask “Will it work? Does it meet all the needs of both people? Are there any problems likely?”
Don’t accept solutions for the sake of speed Use reflective listening and I Messages
Decide on the best solution.
Find a solutions that is mutually acceptable to both of you. .
If agreement seems difficult, Summarize areas of agreement. Restate needs, and look for new solutions.
Make certain that both of you are committed to the solution
Implementing the Solutions
Write this down and check all agree to it Refuse to remind or police the solutions If you want to set criteria for success, work out
these now Get Agreement on who does what by when
Follow-up evaluation
If the agreed upon solution doesn’t work, remember it is the solution that failed, not the person, and seek for a new solution.
Ask from time to time if the solution is working for both of you.
Carry out agreed method. Wait to see if the conflicts seems resolved.
Results of Win-Win Solutions
•More creative in Thinking up solutions•Take more responsibility for helping everyone have needs met•Feeling of mutual respect •Love grows deeper with every conflict resolved.
Eskimo or Indian?
What isThis?
Young or OldWoman?
Young or OldWoman?
