Coherence in English as a Second Language

COHERENCE IN ENGLISH AS A SECOND LANGUAGE

UNDERGRADUATE WRITING: A THEME-RHEME ANALYSIS

_______________

A Thesis

Presented to the

Faculty of

San Diego State University

_______________

In Partial Fulfillment

of the Requirements for the Degree

Master of Arts

in

Linguistics

_______________

by

Vickie D. Mellos

Summer 2011

iii

Copyright © 2011

by

Vickie D. Mellos

All Rights Reserved

iv

ABSTRACT OF THE THESIS

Coherence in English as a Second Language Undergraduate

Writing: A Theme-Rheme Analysis

by

Vickie D. Mellos

Master of Arts in Linguistics

San Diego State University, 2011

Coherence is a key attribute of successful undergraduate writing. When a student

produces a text which is difficult for a reader to follow, the success of their writing is

compromised regardless of the merit of their ideas. While English as a Second Language

(ESL) writing instruction tends to focus on coherence problems related to grammatical errors

or cohesive devices, ESL teachers lack a systematic way to address discourse-level

coherence in the classroom. Previous studies have shown that Systemic Functional

Linguistics, and in particular the theme-rheme analytical framework, can be used to identify

cohesion and coherence difficulties in student writing and should be incorporated into writing

curricula. However, very few studies have analyzed more than one or two student essays in

their research and only offer theoretical advice on how to incorporate the theme-rheme

analytical framework into the classroom. This thesis analyzed the theme and rheme patterns

in eight undergraduate ESL essays, four of which were evaluated as being high in coherence

and four of which scored low, in order to explore whether the theme-rheme choices can

characterize coherence in writing. The study found that high scoring coherent essays employ

dense and complex nominal groups in ideational themes, a wide variety of textual themes,

and different forms of thematic progression to establish connections between different parts

of the text and comment on abstract ideas relevant to the topic. In contrast, low scoring

papers frequently overuse unmarked themes of simple nominal groups or pronouns and

overuse theme reiteration in a way that makes the text difficult to follow and appear to lack

development. Based on the results of the study, specific teaching materials were created to

provide a model of how the theme-rheme analytical framework can be incorporated into an

academic writing curriculum.

v

TABLE OF CONTENTS

PAGE

ABSTRACT ............................................................................................................................. iv

LIST OF TABLES .................................................................................................................. vii

LIST OF FIGURES ............................................................................................................... viii

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS ..................................................................................................... ix

CHAPTER

1 INTRODUCTION .........................................................................................................1

2 BACKGROUND ...........................................................................................................6

Systemic Functional Linguistics ..............................................................................6

Theme-Rheme ..........................................................................................................7

Literature Review...................................................................................................14

3 METHODOLOGY ......................................................................................................23

The Course .............................................................................................................23

The Student Population ..........................................................................................24

The Assignment .....................................................................................................25

The Grading ...........................................................................................................26

The Analysis ..........................................................................................................27

4 RESULTS AND DISCUSSION ..................................................................................33

Theme Types ..........................................................................................................33

Unmarked Ideational Themes ..........................................................................33

Marked Ideational Themes ..............................................................................38

Interpersonal Themes .......................................................................................41

Textual Themes ................................................................................................44

Thematic Progression.............................................................................................49

Theme Reiteration ............................................................................................50

Zig-Zag Pattern ................................................................................................53

Multiple-Rheme Pattern ...................................................................................56

Summary ................................................................................................................61

vi

5 THEME-RHEME TEACHING MATERIALS ...........................................................63

Introduction ............................................................................................................63

The Theme-Rheme Lesson ....................................................................................64

Introduction to Coherence and Theme-Rheme ................................................64

Analysis of Authentic and Model Texts ..........................................................65

Introduction to Theme-Rheme Patterns ...........................................................66

Analysis of Theme Patterns in Student Texts ..................................................67

Application to the Students‘ Writing ...............................................................68

Conclusion .............................................................................................................69

6 CONCLUSIONS..........................................................................................................70

REFERENCES ........................................................................................................................73

APPENDIX

A ESSAY PROMPT ........................................................................................................76

B SCORING CHART .....................................................................................................78

C THEME-RHEME TEACHING MATERIALS ...........................................................80

vii

LIST OF TABLES

PAGE

Table 1. Theme Types..............................................................................................................33

Table 2. Marked Themes .........................................................................................................38

Table 3. Textual Themes in the Student Texts ........................................................................44

Table 4. Thematic Progression ................................................................................................50

viii

LIST OF FIGURES

PAGE

Figure 1. Theme reiteration......................................................................................................10

Figure 2. The zig-zag pattern.. .................................................................................................12

Figure 3. The multiple-rheme pattern. .....................................................................................13

ix

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

First, I would like to thank all the excellent professors at SDSU for teaching me so

much in their courses. Through their instruction, not only did my passion for teaching

English grow, but I also acquired a deep interest in and appreciation for the field of

Linguistics.

I especially would like to thank Dr. Betty Samraj for all her patience and guidance

during the process of writing my thesis and other coursework. Dr. Samraj challenged me to

be a better student and a better writer and to her I owe a great deal. In addition, I am thankful

to Dr. Gregory Keating for his helpful comments on my thesis.

I am also indebted to Dr. Deborah Poole and Professor Julie Williams. I would like to

thank Dr. Poole for giving me the opportunity to teach ESL undergraduate writing and all of

her encouragement. I am also thankful to Julie Williams for allowing me the opportunity to

work with her and the support she gave me during the writing of my thesis. The meetings and

observations improved my lesson planning and helped me become a better teacher. This

teaching experience at SDSU has reaffirmed my belief that collaboration amongst teachers is

essential and truly improves instruction.

Finally, I would like to thank my family for all their love and support during my

studies. Without them, I may not have had the same opportunities to further my education

and professional development. I am truly blessed to have such a loving and extraordinary

family.

1

CHAPTER 1

INTRODUCTION

Coherence in academic writing has been identified as a challenge for English as a

Second Language (ESL) undergraduates (Bloor & Bloor, 1992; Cheng, 2008; Ho, 2009;

Lee, 2000, 2002; Vande Kopple, 1991; Wang, 2007). Lack of text coherence has been a

cause for concern for teachers of native speakers (NS) of English (Bamberg, 1983; Vande

Kopple, 1991; Witte & Faigley, 1981) in addition to teachers of non-native speakers

(NNS) of English. Although coherence is considered fundamental to the success of a

paper, it is ―difficult to teach and difficult to learn‖ because it is seen as ―an abstract and

fuzzy concept‖ (Lee, 2002, p. 135).

In composition studies a coherent text was traditionally characterized as a text

with tightly connected sentences creating autonomous paragraphs, which in turn were

connected with transition devices (Bain, 1890). A limitation with this characterization is

that many problems in writing not only involve sentence connections and paragraph

unity, but also discourse unity (Bamberg, 1983; Lee, 2002). In order to address this,

composition studies have drawn from the emerging linguistic theories in discourse, such

as Halliday and Hasan‘s (1976) taxonomy of cohesion in English. Halliday and Hasan‘s

(1976) interpretation of cohesion was similar to Bain‘s definition of coherence but

differed in that text connectivity was not seen as being limited to adjacent sentences, but

also included ties that extend throughout a text that bind larger chunks of discourse

(Bamberg, 1983; Witte & Faigley, 1981). However, studies applying Halliday & Hasan‘s

taxonomy to student writing found cohesion to be a limited means in identifying

coherence (Witte & Faigley, 1981; Stotsky, 1983; Khalil, 1989). The studies concluded

that while cohesion can contribute to coherence, it is not a determining factor because

cohesive papers can be incoherent (Bamberg, 1983; Khalil, 1989; Witte & Faigley,

1981).

In Witte and Faigley‘s (1981) analysis of cohesive ties in NS college freshman

essays, they concluded that analyzing cohesion was not enough to determine writing

2

quality and that broader issues of coherence needed to be addressed. Therefore, they

sought to clearly define and differentiate cohesion and coherence, with cohesion referring

to the ties that bind a text and coherence referring to what makes a text understood in the

real world. More specifically, they argued that a text is coherent when it is appropriate for

a particular context, which includes the following factors: ―the writer‘s purpose, the

audience‘s knowledge and expectations, and the information to be conveyed‖ (Witte &

Faigley, 1981, p. 202).

The understanding that cohesion is only one element of coherence was further

supported by Khalil (1989) in his analysis of cohesion and coherence in Arab English as

a Foreign Language (EFL) writing. Seeking to investigate the relationship between

cohesion and coherence, twenty freshman EFL texts were analyzed for cohesion in terms

of Halliday and Hasan‘s (1976) cohesion theory and for coherence in terms of Grice‘s

(1975) Cooperative Principle with the maxims of relevance, quantity, and manner. The

study found that the correlation between cohesion and coherence was weak, which was

consistent with Witte & Faigley‘s (1981) conclusion that cohesion is only one aspect of

coherence. Khalil‘s evaluation of coherence using Grice‘s Cooperative Principle also

shows that it may be useful to view text coherence as interaction between the reader and

writer.

Bamberg‘s (1983) analysis of NS high school writing also differentiated

coherence and cohesion, linking coherence to the broader context. Drawing from van

Dijk‘s (1980) theories on coherence, Bamberg evaluated essays written for the National

Assessment of Educational Progress for coherence on two levels: (1) ―local‖ (sentence)

coherence (van Dijk‘s (1980) term for cohesion) and (2) ―global‖ (discourse) coherence.

The study concluded that the absence of ―local‖ (sentence level) coherence was mostly

the result of mechanical and grammatical errors, which interfere with the processing of

sentences and the broader message of a text (Bamberg, 1983). On the other hand, lack of

―global‖ (discourse level) coherence was due to the failure to announce the topic, to

establish the context, and to select an adequate organizational plan. In addition, Bamberg

(1983) found that lack of overall coherence was the result of writers not determining the

main focus of an essay and being uncertain about the relationship among ideas. Bamberg

(1983, p. 425) argued that these problems are often due to creating a ―‗writer-based‘‖

3

prose (Flower, 1979), which fails to take into account the reader‘s needs and purpose in

reading. Overall, previous research indicates that coherence is not only related to surface

structures and cohesion, but is also context-bound and related to the reader‘s expectations

and knowledge.

While studies have shown that cohesion is only one element of coherence, ESL

writing instruction often continues to focus on teaching students how to use cohesive ties

and lacks a systematic way to teach coherence (Lee, 2002; Witte & Faigley, 1981).

Textbook and other instructional materials customarily include a chapter or unit on

formulaic cohesive ties, resulting in exactly what is taught: formulaic essays. While

cohesive devices such as coordinating conjunctions and conjunctive adverbs create

―local‖ coherence, they fail to address ―global‖ coherence (van Dijk, 1980; Bamberg,

1983). What research suggests is that coherence problems require attention at the level of

the whole discourse and not only at the level of the sentence (Bamberg, 1983; Witte &

Faigley, 1981).

Recently there have been attempts to create systematic ways of identifying and

teaching coherence in writing. Lee (2000, 2002) created a framework which characterizes

coherence as containing six identifiable elements: (1) purpose, audience, and context of

situation; (2) macrostructure; (3) information distribution; (4) propositional development;

(5) cohesion; and (6) metadiscourse. These ―text- and reader-based elements‖ (Lee, 2000,

p. 353) became the framework for tasks from which ESL students developed a meta-

awareness of coherence through text analysis.

Studies have also drawn on Systemic Functional Linguistics (SFL) (Eggins, 2004)

to analyze coherence in students‘ writing (Bloor & Bloor, 1992; Cheng, 2008; Christie &

Dreyfus, 2007; Ho, 2009; Schleppegrell, 2004, 2009; Vande Kopple, 1991; Wang, 2007).

SFL is especially suitable for analyzing coherence because it is concerned with the

relationship between language and its functions in social settings. SFL states that three

kinds of meaning are encoded in language known as metafunctions (semantic functions):

(1) ideational (content), (2) interpersonal (role relationships), and (3) textual

(organization) (Eggins, 2004; Halliday, 1985). The textual metafunction captures in many

senses what previous research has characterized as coherence: how a text is organized to

make it effective for its purpose and context. The framework used for analyzing the

4

textual metafunction in both spoken and written discourse is theme-rheme (Eggins, 2004;

Halliday, 1985).

Several studies have illustrated the usefulness of theme-rheme analysis as a tool to

characterize student writing as successful or less successful in terms of coherence. Bloor

and Bloor (1992) applied Halliday‘s (1985) dimensions of thematic structure (theme-

rheme) and information structure (given-new) to the written work of postgraduate

overseas students in Great Britain to reveal why weaker texts present information in a

way that cannot be easily processed by the reader. Similarly, Wang‘s (2007) theme-

rheme analysis of an ESL undergraduate essay revealed cohesion problems based on the

inappropriate management of old and new information. In addition to information

structure, theme-rheme analysis has been applied to student writing to reveal problems

with topic development and text flow (Christie & Dreyfus, 2007; Schleppegrell, 2004,

2009; Vande Kopple, 1991; Wang, 2007).

While studies have illustrated the usefulness of observing theme and rheme

choices to identify English students‘ and ESL students‘ writing difficulties (Bloor &

Bloor, 1992; Christie & Dreyfus, 2007; Schleppegrell, 2004, 2009; Vande Kopple, 1991;

Wang, 2007), very few studies have analyzed more than one or two student essays in

their research. Another gap in the research is that many studies suggest that the theme-

rheme framework can be applied to teaching students to write more cohesively and

coherently (Bloor & Bloor, 1992; Christie & Dreyfus, 2007; Schleppegrell, 2004, 2009;

Vande Kopple, 1991; Wang, 2007), but offer little more than theoretical advice, with the

exception of Schleppegrell (2009). Most studies that discuss the pedagogical potential of

theme-rheme analysis only do so in the larger context of genre-based pedagogy (Cheng,

2008; Ho, 2009; Lee, 2000, 2002) and offer minimal guidance on how to incorporate

theme-rheme analysis in an ESL classroom.

In the present study, I analyzed ESL essays evaluated as being high and low in

coherence by using the analytical framework of theme-rheme of SFL (Eggins, 2004;

Halliday, 1985). Eight papers were selected from an ESL undergraduate academic

writing course at San Diego State University (SDSU) I taught in Spring 2010, four of

which received high scores for text organization and transitions, and four of which scored

low. The purpose was to explore if theme-rheme choices can indicate writing coherence

5

difficulties, and if these difficulties are systematic and not particular to one or two

students. In addition, specific teaching materials were developed based on theme and

rheme choices that teachers can use in ESL undergraduate writing courses to promote

student awareness of sentence-level choices that can affect the coherence of their writing.

The research questions that guided the study were:

1. What does a theme-rheme analysis of ESL undergraduate writing reveal?

2. How do theme and rheme choices differ among stronger and weaker papers?

3. How can the theme-rheme framework be used to teach coherence in the

classroom?

Overall, the goals of this research were to identify ESL learner difficulties in

writing coherently and to create teaching materials that build students‘ meta-awareness of

coherence. The ultimate aim is to help students become better at writing coherent

academic texts so they are successful in the university and, ultimately, in their

professional lives. Given that the ability to write coherently is fundamental to academic

success, the methods teachers can use to guide their students in this area are worthy of

study.

The following chapter will provide an overview of the theoretical framework of

SFL and other relevant literature that informed this study. Chapter 3 will discuss the

methodology used in this study. Chapter 4 will discuss the results of the theme-rheme

analysis. Chapter 5 will present teaching materials informed by this study. Finally,

Chapter 6 will provide an overview of the study and make suggestions for further

research.

6

CHAPTER 2

BACKGROUND

This chapter will describe Systemic Functional Linguistics (SFL), the theoretical

foundation of the present study, and theme-rheme, the analytical framework that will be

applied to the student essays. Next, I will review some studies which have utilized theme-

rheme as a tool to analyze writing from various perspectives. Studies have analyzed

theme and rheme choices to gain a deeper understanding of the characteristics of ‗expert‘

writing and student writing. Studies focusing on the developmental writing of students

have used qualitative methods to compare low and high scoring essays through theme-

rheme and thematic development analyses. The studies have shown that the theme-rheme

framework can be used to identify coherence and cohesion in student writing and can

potentially be taught to students to improve their writing skills.

SYSTEMIC FUNCTIONAL LINGUISTICS

Systemic Functional Linguistics, primarily developed by Michael Halliday,

examines language from a functional-semantic approach (Eggins, 2004; Halliday, 1985).

The aim of this theory is to understand the nature of texts through the analysis of texts in

their cultural and social contexts. The four main theoretical claims of SFL are (1)

language is functional, (2) its function is to make meanings (semantic), (3) these

meanings are influenced by social and cultural contexts, and (4) the process of using

language is semiotic (Eggins, 2004, p. 3).

In this functional-semantic theory, language is believed to carry three kinds of

simultaneous meanings: ideational, interpersonal, and textual. Ideational meaning refers

to the ‗real world‘ and how we represent experience in language while interpersonal

meaning expresses the writer‘s role relationships with others and people‘s attitudes

toward each other (Eggins, 2004, p.11). Textual meaning refers to the organization of a

written or spoken text. These three strands of meaning are all expressed simultaneously in

units of language, such as texts, paragraphs, sentences, and clauses.

7

In SFL, the context of a linguistic event is examined in order to understand the

different kinds of meanings and answer functional questions about language. Texts are

seen as being connected to context at two levels: register and genre. The register of

language is determined by three factors: (1) field (the topic of focus of an activity), (2)

tenor (the relationships between participants), and (3) mode (the channel of

communication, whether written or spoken) (Eggins, 2004, p. 9). Genre, also central to

understanding context, refers to the staged and structured way people in a culture use

language to achieve a particular goal (Eggins, 2004, p. 9-10).

SFL is distinctive because it has developed both a theory about language as a

social process and a methodology to analyze language patterns (Eggins, 2004, p. 21).

There are three main analytical tools to identify parts of a lexico-grammar in which

meaning is expressed (Eggins, 2004, p. 110). First, the field of a text, which carries

ideational meaning, can be analyzed through transitivity patterns. Second, the tenor of a

text, which expresses interpersonal meanings, can be identified through mood analysis.

Third, the mode of the text, typically associated with textual meanings, is analyzed

through theme patterns. These analytical tools or grammatical resources provide a

systematic way to identify each type of meaning and register, which ultimately helps

people gain a better understanding of language. These analytical tools have been applied

to a range of fields such as from child language development, to media discourse, to

language education (Eggins, 2004, p.2), which is the focus of the present study.

THEME-RHEME

The textual metafunction, one of the three strands of meaning associated with the

mode of the text, is concerned with the organization of a clause given its purpose and its

context (Eggins, 2004, p. 298). The grammar which identifies the lexico-grammatical

elements of this strand of meaning is theme-rheme. The theme of a sentence is the

starting point of a message signaling what the message is going to be about, while the

rheme is everything that comes after the theme (Eggins, 2004). The rheme is the part of

the message which develops the theme (Halliday, 1985). In example 1, the theme and

rheme structures are identified in a sentence from a student text.

8

(1) Student 2

Theme Rheme

Stock is not a mature reasoner*

Often, the theme is given information (familiar to the hearer or from the context)

and the rheme consists of new information. Although theme-rheme might be equated

with the topic-focus in the terms of information structure (old/given vs. new), they are

distinct. Fries (1995) notes that the theme is not the topic but rather ―orients the

listener/reader to the message that is about to be perceived and provides a framework for

the interpretation of that message‖ (p. 318).

The theme and rheme may or may not be conflated with the subject and predicate

of a sentence as in example 1. In example 2, the theme is realized as a circumstantial

adjunct (e.g. prepositional phrase or adverb).

(2) Student 6

Theme Rheme

In the article,

“Choosing Our

Genes,”

Stock writes that technological advances will bring

meaningful changes to our offspring and scientific

revolutions that may make fundamental changes in the

human species.

When the theme is the grammatical subject of the sentence, it is unmarked;

otherwise, it is marked, as in the case of a circumstantial adjunct in example 2.

In addition to markedness, themes are categorized according to their function:

ideational, interpersonal, or textual. Ideational themes are the first constituent which can

receive a transitivity role, such as participant, process, and circumstance. Every sentence

must have one and only one ideational theme, which may be marked or unmarked;

however, interpersonal and textual themes may or may not appear in a sentence.

Interpersonal themes express the writer‘s or speaker‘s attitude and establish role

relations, as illustrated in example 3. Interpersonal themes are finite verbs in

interrogative structures (e.g. Do you like apples?) and modal adjuncts (e.g. probably,

evidently, unfortunately) in declarative structures.

* All examples are from the students‘ essays from the present study, unless noted otherwise.

9

(3) Student 9

Interpersonal

Theme

Ideational

Theme

Rheme

In my

opinion,

Stock is not open to criticism, because he only presents and

defends what he believes is the correct position.

Textual themes relate clauses to the preceding text and the situational context and

enable writers to produce cohesive texts. Textual themes are identified as continuatives

(e.g. well, yes, now), conjunctive adjuncts (e.g. however), and coordinating and

subordinating conjunctions (e.g. and, although), such as the phrase in bold in example 4.

(4) Student 10

Textual

Theme

Ideational

Theme

Rheme

In

addition,

he argues that Germinal Choice Technologies are beneficial to

human beings because they will help to find the causes of

many diseases.

Theme choices can vary since there is a choice of including interpersonal and textual

themes, single or multiple themes, and marked and unmarked themes. Theme choices are

often related to the mode of a text, whether it is spoken or written language. Spoken texts

tend to use personal pronouns and names for the ideational theme and more unmarked

themes while written texts tend to contain lengthy ideational themes (nominalizations)

and marked themes (Eggins, 2004, p. 322-323).

Eggins (2004) notes that one of the most significant contributions of analyzing the

ideational, interpersonal, and textual theme choices in a text is that such an analysis offers

insight into the semantic and cohesive structure of a text. She states,

It is because it plays this essential semantic support role that Halliday refers to

the textual metafunction as the enabling function of language. Textual

choices, such as Theme, do not introduce new content or new interpersonal

dimensions into a text. But textual choices are essential to the text‘s making

sense. The most striking contribution of Thematic choices, then, is to the

internal cohesion of the text: skillful use of Thematic selection results in a text

which appears to hang together and make sense. (p. 321)

In other words, theme choices and the textual strand of meaning ‗enable‘ the ideational

and interpersonal meanings to be realized in coherent and cohesive texts.

10

The coherence and cohesion of a text can also be analyzed according to the

succession of themes across sentences and paragraphs. Referred to as thematic

development or thematic progression, three patterns can be observed: (1) theme

reiteration <T-R>, (2) the zig-zag pattern <Z-Z>, and (3) the multiple-rheme pattern

<M-R>.

When a text uses theme reiteration <T-R>, the same element appears as theme

repeatedly in a text. This pattern is diagrammed in Figure 1.

Figure 1. Theme reiteration.

Example 5 illustrates the theme reiteration pattern in a student text.

(5) Student 6

Ideational Theme Rheme

In his article,

―Choosing Our

Genes,‖

Stock claims that genetic engineering will improve the health of

children so it should not be banned.

He believes we will have the technology to change humans genetically.

He <T-R> thinks we will use this science.

He <T-R> thinks we should look toward the future and make decisions about

how this knowledge should be used.

Stock <T-R> contends that technological advances will allow scientists to

identify, isolate, and modify our genes.

In example 5, cohesion is created through the repetition of the ideational theme

(Stock or he). Having the same participant made theme multiple times can provide the

text with a clear focus. However, as in example 5, repetition can also create a sense of

monotony, deter text flow, and prevent topic development. As the theme is the point of

departure, when it is continuously exactly the same, the author is always leaving the same

spot and never developing the information in the rheme (Eggins, 2004).

Sentence 1 Theme Rheme



11

Theme reiteration can also be exploited to create a strong topical focus in a text

(Eggins, 2004). The theme reiteration pattern not only occurs when the exact theme or

pronoun (e.g. Stock or he) appears in a text, but also includes instances when a theme gets

made thematic in association with other elements, such as nominalizations, as in

example 6.

(6) Student 1

Textual

Theme


Stock also shows that he has knowledge of his

argument‘s context by sharing his expertise in

genetic engineering with the readers.

His credentials <T-R> speak for his years of dedication in genetic

sciences, which includes his position as the

director of the Program on Medicine, Technology,

and Society at UCLA and being widely recognized

as one of the prominent speakers for genetic

evolution (Speakers Platform Keynote Speakers

Bureau).

Since Stock advocates

that genetic engineering

would only improve

humans‘ lives, <T-R>

he believes it is only logical to promote its

development rather than impede it.

He <T-R> also shares his knowledge and expertise about

genetic engineering and the increased progress of

scientists‘ work worldwide, which the United

States should also be a part of (Stock 666).

Hence, his credentials and

knowledge in genetic

engineering <T-R>

substantially supports his claim and refutations.

(S1)

In example 6, theme reiteration is exploited with greater complexity than in

example 5. The initial theme Stock is made thematic in later themes not through exact

repetition but in combination with other elements, such as his credentials and knowledge

in genetic engineering. When theme reiteration is used in this way, the text retains a

strong topical focus and avoids monotonous repetition.

The zig-zag pattern of development <Z-Z> occurs when an element in the rheme

of clause one gets introduced into the theme of clause two, as illustrated

diagrammatically in Figure 2.

12

Figure 2. The zig-zag pattern. Source: Eggins,

S. (2004). An introduction to systemic functional

linguistics. London, England: Continuum.

Example 7 illustrates the zig-zag pattern in a student text.

(7) Student 2


The Futurist is a journal targeting such readers who are concerned about issues

people will face in the future. <Z-Z>

These issues are various, ranging from environmental problems to ethical and

social subjects.

The rheme in sentence one (issues people will face in the future) gets reintroduced in the

theme of sentence two. The zig-zag pattern gives texts a sense of cumulative

development because new information in successive clauses becomes the point of

departure of later clauses, allowing new information to be further developed.

The third thematic pattern, multiple-rheme pattern <M-R>, occurs when the

theme of one clause introduces a number of different pieces of information, each of

which is made theme in subsequent clauses in a paragraph or an entire text. This pattern

is diagrammed in Figure 3.

Example 8 provides an example of how the multiple-rheme pattern appeared in a

student text.

The first sentence signals two points (two reasons) that will be picked up in

subsequent sentences (First and Second). In example 8, the multiple-rheme pattern

organizes a paragraph, but this pattern can occur across paragraphs, which will be

discussed further in Chapter 4.




13

Figure 3. The multiple-rheme pattern. Source: Eggins, S. (2004).

An introduction to systemic functional linguistics. London,

England: Continuum

(8) Student 3

Textual Theme Ideational Theme Rheme

In his article, Stock gives two reasons <M-R> to

support his claim.

First, <M-R> he suggests that genetic engineering will

prevent diseases.

In the article, Stock refers to some recent studies that

suggest that Down syndrome children

have a great percentage in decrease in

occurrence of many cancers.

Stock argues that there is likelihood that ―the

trisomy 21 in children with Down

syndrome may be protective against

cancer‖ (663).

Identifying what genes

―are responsible for the

protection against

cancer‖, and ―placing

them on an artificial

chromosome‖, and

―adding it to an embryo‖

might ―reduce the occurrence of cancer,‖

according to Stock (663).

Second, <M-R> he also suggests that genetic engineering

will enhance the ―physical or mental

well-being of children‖ (664).

For instance, Stock argues that genetic engineering

interventions may ―improve a child‘s

beauty, intelligence, strength, altruism,

and other qualities‖ (664).





A)

B)

C)

14

LITERATURE REVIEW

The theme-rheme structure and thematic progression of a text have been analyzed

in various texts to gain insight into the textual strand of meaning, the textual

metafunction. In written texts, theme-rheme has been useful in deepening our

understanding of how texts are organized to enable ideational and interpersonal meanings

to be realized. In this section, I will review studies which have analyzed the theme-rheme

patterns of written discouse. Research in the theme-rheme patterns of the ‗expert‘ writing

of academics have provided insight into the organization of research articles (RAs)

whereas studies examining the thematic patterns of student texts have been useful in

characterizing well-written and less successful papers and understanding how cohesion

and coherence can be achieved through the effective organization of themes in a text.

The theme-rheme framework has been applied to analyzing research articles to

gain insight into the nature of academic genres. Studies have provided textual evidence of

significant differences in theme and rheme choices and information management in texts

across disciplines. Lovejoy and Lance (1991) outline a descriptive model for the analysis

of information management and cohesion in written discourse which was used to

compare published scholarly articles in three disciplines: counseling psychology, biology,

and history. Information management was examined by taking components from studies

in Functional Linguistics (theme-rheme, topic-comment, given-new, and marked-

unmarked) and cohesion was analyzed according to Halliday and Hasan‘s (1976)

taxonomy of cohesion in English and Stotsky‘s (1983) refinements of this taxonomy

(Lovejoy, 1991; Lovejoy & Lance, 1991). The results of the study showed differences in

information management and cohesive strategies between the disciplines, which the

authors suggest can inform composition teachers. The examination of how accomplished

writers and editors master the techniques of managing information and controlling

cohesive ties can be useful to composition teachers in understanding what their students

are required to do in the college classroom (Lovejoy & Lance, 1991, p. 269).

In addition to cross-disciplinary comparisons, studies have applied the theme-

rheme framework to gain better understanding of the conventions of particular

disciplines. Lorés (2004) analyzed RA abstracts in the field of linguistics, comparing the

thematic structure of informative IMRD (Introduction-Methods-Results-Discussion) and

15

indicative CARS (Create a Research Space) type abstracts. The abstracts were examined

using the model devised by Gosden (1993), which includes the grammatical subject as an

obligatory element in thematic analysis and classifies grammatical subjects according to

their semantic roles. She also analyzed thematic progression (TP), following Daneš‘

(1974) model.* The results of the study showed that both the IMRD and CARS types of

abstracts combined linear TPs and constant themes, but not TPs with derived themes, and

that the distribution of thematic progressions was systematic in each type of abstract.

Also, the application of Gosden‘s (1993) model yielded the following results: in the

IMRD abstracts the writer tends to hide behind real world entities and processes while in

CARS abstracts the writer chooses to present himself or herself as a visible participant in

the research community.

The theme-rheme framework has also been used to compare how theme choices

differ across sections of an RA. Martínez (2003) conducted a study comparing the

thematic structure of Methods and Discussion sections of biology RAs. Themes were

analyzed using the categories of SFL in addition to a subclassification of unmarked

themes into semantic categories similar to MacDonald‘s (1994) and Gosden‘s (1993)

classifications. The study showed that the themes in the Methods section consisted of

predominately simple unmarked ideational themes; when there were multiple themes,

they tended to be textual and temporal (e.g. First) (Martínez, 2003, p. 112). In the

Discussion section, there were more multiple themes than in the Methods section;

ideational and textual themes appeared more frequently, and the textual themes tended to

be more adversative (e.g. However) (Martínez, 2003, p. 112). The study also found

differences in the use of marked themes across sections. In the Methods, the marked

themes frequently were circumstances of purpose (e.g. To determine if…) and of time

(e.g. After the process of…) while the marked themes in the Discussion section were

mostly circumstances of place (e.g. In our model) (Martínez, 2003, p. 115). The results

* Daneš (1974): Types of thematic progression (TP):

(1) Single Linear TP: the Rheme of a sentence becomes the Theme of the next sentence.

(2) TP with a constant Theme: the same Theme appears to which different Rhemes are linked.

(3) TP with derived Themes: different Themes are derived from the same Hypertheme.

16

were attributed to the purpose of each section, namely that in Methods, the purpose is to

be descriptive while in the Discussion, it is to be more argumentative. Martínez (2003)

noted that these studies are much needed because many NNS scholars express frustration

with the rejection of their texts for publication, and the lack of insight into the exact

problem with their writing. Overall, theme-rheme studies of published RAs contribute to

our knowledge of disciplinary conventions and can inform teachers of composition.

In addition to published research articles, the theme-rheme framework has been

applied to student writing to examine the degree to which undergraduates acculturate into

their discipline‘s discourse community. In North‘s (2005) study of undergraduate writing

in a history of science course, the essays of students from ‗arts‘ and ‗science‘

backgrounds were compared to observe whether thematic patterns in student essays

reflect disciplinary differentiation. This framework was recognized as appropriate given

that what writers choose to foreground as theme often reflects their ideological and

epistemological positioning (North, 2005, p. 434). The theme-rheme model used in this

study also included the grammatical subject because the study was examining

disciplinary variation and previous studies had shown that subject choices are sensitive to

disciplinary conventions (MacDonald, 1992, 1994). North‘s (2005) theme-rheme

framework differentiated two types of themes: orienting and topical themes. Orienting

themes included textual themes, interpersonal themes, and experiential themes (i.e.

marked ideational themes such as circumstantial adjuncts). Topical themes predominantly

corresponded to the grammatical subject. The study found that students who came from

an ‗arts‘ field were more successful in their writing than ‗science‘ students because they

used orienting themes more frequently, which resulted in their foregrounding knowledge

as a matter of interpretation rather than a matter of fact. The significance of this study

was that the theme-rheme framework was able to identify how undergraduates adopted

the discourse practices of their disciplines, and the way their particular disciplines viewed

how knowledge is constructed.

One of the more frequent applications of theme-rheme has been to analyze the

quality of student writing. Given this framework‘s capacity to capture the organization of

a text and the effective ordering of constituents, it can be especially useful for analyzing

ESL student writing in terms of cohesion and coherence. In order to identify the textual

17

features that characterize effective writing, most studies use qualitative methods such as

comparing the theme patterns of high and low quality student writing or in-depth

analyses of single papers (Bloor & Bloor, 1992; Christie & Dreyfus, 2007; Schleppegrell,

2004; Vande Kopple, 1991; Wang, 2007). However, very few studies have conducted

quantitative studies of the theme and rheme patterns in student writing.

Given that the theme-rheme framework offers insight into the textual strand of

meaning and is connected to the mode of a text, whether it is spoken and written, this

framework can be beneficial in research on student writing given that part of academic

development is the transition from spoken to written discourse. Schleppegrell (2004) used

theme-rheme, among other analytical frameworks of SFL, to analyze the difficulties

students face in acquiring academic language in secondary school by comparing it to

informal speech. In informal conversation, texts are co-created by the interlocutors and

pronomials are frequently used while in academic writing meaning is not co-created

between interlocutors and requires different grammatical strategies (Eggins, 2004, p. 323;

Schleppegrel, 2004, p. 63). In contrast to speech, theme choices in scholarly writing often

involve abstractions, such as nominalizations, appropriate conjunctions (textual themes),

and thematic development (zig-zag progression) (Eggins, 2004, p. 323; Schleppegrel,

2004, p. 63). As students transition from informal spoken to scholarly written discourse

communities, one of the challenges becomes learning how to effectively exploit the

theme position of a sentence to create coherent texts.

In studies comparing successful and less successful student writing, common

theme and rheme patterns have been identified. One frequent problem of inexperienced

writers is the failure to control a text‘s information structure, where old or given

information usually appears in the theme and new information in the rheme. In spoken

interaction, there are more opportunities to negotiate meaning if the information is not

shared or given between the interlocutors (Bloor & Bloor, 1992, p. 34). However, in

written discourse, immediate repair of meaning is not available which makes it all the

more important for the writer to carefully predict what information is given and new, and

use the appropriate linguistic devices to position them appropriately in a sentence. In

Bloor and Bloor‘s (1992) theme-rheme analysis of the writing of postgraduate overseas

students in Great Britain, three common problems were found: (1) the problem of brand

18

new theme (new information is put in the theme) (2) the problem of double rheme, (a

sentence with multiple rhemes has old information in one of the rhemes), and (3) the

problem of empty rheme (the rheme contains old information). In Wang‘s (2007) theme-

rheme analysis of an essay by a Chinese university student, problematic sections of the

writing were found to be due to themes carrying new information and rhemes carrying

old information, which was consistent with Bloor and Bloor‘s (1992) findings. Overall,

these studies indicate that the mismanagement of given and new elements deters text

flow, and can make a text incoherent for a reader.

Along the same lines, Vande Kopple (1991) suggested that ideational themes

lacking connections can also make a text incoherent. Using data from previous studies

(Cooper, 1988; Stubbs, 1983) and student writing, he argued that skilled writers use the

ideational themes to signal to the reader ―to focus on identical things, related things, and

some things that can be inferred from others‖ (Vande Kopple, 1991, p. 332). Connections

between themes make a text coherent because readers store information in a similar way,

by placing related information in groups and hierarchies (Vande Kopple, 1991, p. 332).

Another important factor in developing coherence in academic prose is the

appropriate use of textual themes. Studies have found that a wider range and number of

textual themes are employed in more successful academic writing. Schleppegrell (2004)

pointed out that since students are accustomed to using a limited set of conjunctions in

speech (e.g. but, because), one challenge students face is learning to make use of a wide

variety of conjunctions in academic discourse (e.g. however, nevertheless). Vande

Kopple (1991, p. 332) also notes that one factor contributing to the incoherence of a text

is lack of textual themes.

In addition to textual themes, studies have indicated that academic discourse and

successful student writing strategically utilize more marked forms as the point of

departure of a message. Eggins (2004) argued that skillful writers use marked themes to

create links to earlier stages in a text, and to add coherence and emphasis to a text. The

use of marked themes also reflects the strong tendency in academic writing to comment

on abstractions (Eggins, 2004, p. 323). Examining two representative texts of very good

and unsuccessful secondary English writing, Christie and Dreyfus (2007) reported that

more successful papers were able to offer abstract ideas about the texts while the weaker

19

papers tended to lean on plot summary. One of the tools students used to make

abstractions was through marked themes, as illustrated in examples 9 and 10. In these

examples, the writer did not foreground the grammatical subjects we and Buffy, but the

movies and texts became the ideational theme because the assignment was to analyze the

texts, not to summarize the events. Christie and Dreyfus (2007, p. 239) also note that

marked themes help shape the direction a text takes as it unfolds.

(9)

Theme Rheme

In both Buffy the Vampire Slayer and

Frankenstein

we can see examples of strong emotions

throughout. (Christie & Dreyfus, 2007, p. 239)

(10)

Theme Rheme

In the episode ‗School hard‘ Buffy is the saviour and the hero to her friends

and mother. (Christie & Dreyfus, 2007, p. 239)

The theme-rheme framework has been applied to student writing to reveal

coherence problems by focusing on thematic development. Studies analyzing thematic

progression have shown that strong writers of academic discourse are able to exploit the

theme position of a sentence by condensing previous information, as in example 11,

which Eggins (2004) refers to as the zig-zag pattern (Christie & Dreyfus, 2007;

Schleppegrell, 2004; Wang, 2007).

(11)

Theme Rheme

Many astronomers now believe that the radio sources inside quasars are objects known

as black holes.

The existence of

black holes

is more or less taken for granted by many astronomers, although no

one has ever seen one. (Schleppegrell, 2004, p. 70)

In example 11, the phrase black holes in the rheme of the first sentence gets

reintroduced in the theme of the second sentence but as a nominalization (the existence of

black holes). Skilled writers exploit this strategy in academic writing so that information

is presented hierarchically. Christie and Dreyfus (2007, p. 242) note that students who

employ zig-zag progression create more organized, developed, and coherent texts: ―The

effect is to build a sense of unfolding of information, moving forward while also harking

back, and building an overall sense of unity of meaning.‖

20

The linguistic structures that skilled writers use to create thematic progression are

a challenge for novices. In academic discourse, information is presented in a more

integrated and dense format with embedded and nominal structures (Hyland, 2004;

Schleppegrell, 2004). Often these nominalizations are presented in the theme of a clause,

where information is taken from the rheme of one sentence and then presented in a highly

condensed form in the theme of the following sentence. However, this can pose a

challenge to some students. Schleppegrell notes (2004, p. 65-66), ―A key challenge for

students is to learn to condense meanings in denser clause structures that incorporate

logical relationships rather than stringing together one clause after another with

conjunctions as they do in spoken interaction.‖

In contrast, weak papers tend to lack zig-zag progression and overuse theme

reiteration (where the same element appears as theme repeatedly), resulting in a text that

seems disconnected (Christie & Dreyfus, 2007; Schleppegrell, 2004; Vande Kopple,

1991; Wang, 2007). In Wang‘s (2007) evaluation of a student‘s text, she found that one

problem was the overuse of constant progression. Wang (2007, p. 171) noted that when

the same word appears as theme repeatedly, the effect is that the text reads like a ―list‖

where there is no further development of the rheme. Studies have shown that theme

reiteration is more predominant in spoken discourse (Eggins, 2004; Schleppegrell, 2004).

Overall, functional linguistics, which highlights the linguistic choices that realize

particular kinds of contexts, can help teachers make the demands of academic language

more explicit for students.

In terms of classroom application, Vande Kopple (1991) argued that students can

be taught to use themes in a strategic way so there is continuity in their writing. Some of

the activities Vande Kopple (1991, p. 333) recommended were having students chart

ideational themes, or rewrite texts with scrambled ideational themes. Bloor and Bloor

(1992, p. 41) suggested that more research on how the distribution of old and new

information creates coherence in a text can shed light on this area of student difficulty.

Wang (2007) claimed that theme-rheme is a valuable tool for teachers to diagnose writing

difficulties and students can be taught how to arrange old and new information to help

improve cohesion in their writing. However, the study offers little specific information on

how teachers can go about using it in the classroom. Christie and Dreyfus (2007, p. 245)

21

advocated a genre-based approach to teaching, which includes deconstructing genre

models for theme and thematic progression among other things. However, very few

studies have developed and studied teaching materials informed by theme-rheme.

Although not focusing on theme pattern analysis specifically, more recent studies

have investigated the effectiveness of incorporating genre-based pedagogies informed by

SFL into the classroom (Cheng, 2008; Ho, 2009). In these studies, pre- and post-essays

were evaluated before and after genre-based teaching instruction to explore whether this

approach helped students improve their writing. Cheng (2008), focusing on a group of

EFL college freshman in Taiwan, used the following lesson plan: stage one focused on

raising students‘ awareness of contextual variables in genres, such as audience and

communicative intent; stage 2 involved students identifying the schematic moves of a

text; and stage 3 included analyzing the lexico-grammatical features and noticing their

relationship to the situational context. Analyzing theme choices was part of the third

stage. Ho (2009) applied a similar approach, incorporating a systemic textual analysis

method of instruction, which was aimed at raising the learner‘s (an ESL university

student) awareness of a genre‘s schematic moves, clause structure, and thematic

development. Ho (2009) conducted a systemic textual analysis of the student‘s essay

before and after the lessons. The results of both studies found that raising students‘

awareness of discourse and lexico-grammatical features in a text helps students improve

the quality of their writing overall (Cheng, 2008; Ho, 2009). For an ESL teacher, these

studies do not provide enough specific guidance on how theme-rheme can be

incorporated into classroom activities.

The review of literature shows that analyzing the theme choices and patterns in a

text can shed light on the semantic and cohesive structure of a text. Studies have applied

the theme-rheme analytical framework to gain insight into the organization of research

articles and have contributed to our knowledge of disciplinary conventions and can help

NNS scholars improve their quality of writing in addition to informing composition

teachers. Researchers have also investigated the thematic patterns in student writing,

highlighting both effective and ineffective thematic patterns in student texts. These

studies have shed light on how cohesion and coherence can be achieved through the

appropriate organization of themes in a text. However, while the research strongly

22

indicates that the theme-rheme framework can be an invaluable tool for identifying and

teaching coherence, teachers have had little guidance on how to incorporate theme-rheme

instruction into a writing curriculum. By comparing texts with varying levels of

coherence, the present study aims to identify whether theme and rheme choices can

systematically characterize coherence in writing. In addition, this study presents theme-

rheme teaching materials to help students understand coherence and improve their

writing.

23

CHAPTER 3

METHODOLOGY

This chapter will discuss the methodology used in this study. First, I will provide

a general background of the student texts analyzed in this study. I will describe the ESL

course, the student population, and the writing prompt for the texts used in this study.

Second, I will discuss how the students‘ essays were graded and selected for the theme-

rheme analysis. Third, I will discuss the categorization used for identifying the different

types of themes and thematic progression in the student texts.

THE COURSE

The texts for this study were drawn from an undergraduate ESL Academic

Reading and Writing (RWS* 281) course I taught in Spring 2010. Students are required to

enroll in RWS 280 or 281 when they receive a score of seven or lower (twelve is the

highest score) on the Writing Proficiency Assessment (WPA), which is part of a

California State University requirement. The exam tests students‘ ability to write at the

upper division level and is taken when students have completed 60 units or when

community college transfer students are in their first semester at SDSU. The exam tests

students‘ ability to analyze and think critically about an academic text, to develop and

organize ideas with evidence and examples, to understand a text‘s intended audience, and

to use clear and precise language through appropriate paragraphing, sentence structure,

grammar, punctuation, and spelling. The students who do not meet these requirements in

the WPA are taught these skills in RWS 280 and 281.

RWS 281 is the equivalent of 280 but specifically designed for students whose

first language is not English. As with RWS 280, the course objectives of RWS 281 are to

teach students how to read and analyze complex academic texts and improve their ability

to plan, draft, revise, and edit essays. What RWS 281 offers in addition is instruction in

* RWS = Rhetoric and Writing Studies

24

grammatical features relevant to the L2 population. Given that enrollment is based on a

low scoring writing assessment, the students‘ academic writing skills are frequently

problematic. Many different writing difficulties appear depending on their educational

and cultural background. One writing difficulty is achieving coherence, which makes this

group of student writing an interesting context for investigating theme and rheme

choices.

THE STUDENT POPULATION

The student population in RWS 281 is diverse. During the Spring semester of

2010, the students‘ countries of origin were Korea, Brazil, Georgia, Japan, Jordan,

Colombia, Singapore, Taiwan, and Mexico. Due to San Diego‘s close proximity to the

U.S. - Mexico border, well over 50% of the students were from Mexico. The students‘

levels of English and time in the United States often vary as well. Some students obtain

student visas and come to the U.S. for the specific purpose of studying at SDSU, with

most of their English instruction having been completed abroad in an EFL learning

context. Other students are immigrants who have been in the U.S. for longer than many

exchange students, but feel more comfortable communicating in their L1, which is often

the language they use at home and amongst friends and peers. Often the discourse of

these ESL students is influenced by their L1, which may result in sentence level errors

(e.g. absence of articles, different rules for count/non-count nouns), syntactic variation

(e.g. non-standard word order), and punctuation mistakes (e.g. comma splices).

Another large demographic in RWS 281 has been Generation 1.5 students. These

students have often received most of their education in the United States and may appear

to be fluent English speakers, but they have not acquired ―a complete communicative

range in English‖ (Singhal, 2004, p.1). In particular, many lack the academic English

necessary for university, with their writing resembling informal spoken discourse and the

interlanguage of non-native speakers of English (Singhal, 2004). These students may also

lack the academic register of their L1 because most of their schooling has been completed

in the United States. What sets Generation 1.5 students apart from international students

or more ―traditional‖ ESL students is the virtual absence of any prior grammatical

instruction. As these students are often ―ear learners,‖ the kinds of errors they might

25

make are the omission of the past participle ending –ed and lack of subject-verb

agreement (Singhal, 2004).

THE ASSIGNMENT

In the course, students are required to write a rhetorical analysis and evaluation of

articles on controversial subjects as their first written assignment. During the Spring 2010

semester course, the topic was genetic engineering and the article the students had to

analyze was ―Choosing Our Genes‖ by Gregory Stock (2009). The assignment has two

parts. In part 1, the students conduct a rhetorical analysis of the article, describing the

author (credentials, publications), identifying the claim and reason, providing an audience

analysis, and commenting on text organization. In part 2, the students evaluate the article,

identifying its strengths and weaknesses based on the four criteria of mature reasoning

(being well-informed, being open to constructive criticism, arguing with the audience in

mind, and knowing the context of the argument) (see Appendix A for paper prompt). The

required length of this assignment is approximately four pages. This particular

assignment in many ways is the focus of the class as it resembles the WPA and also is the

prompt for the RWS 281 final exam.

The student texts used in this study consist of the final drafts of the students‘ first

paper assignment described above. The students wrote their first draft in class under

timed conditions. They were given feedback on their writing mostly regarding the content

of their writing and less so on grammatical errors. The students were given one week to

revise and edit their papers and were encouraged to meet with the instructor and tutor for

help in revising their essays. During the one-on-one meetings, the instructor and tutor do

not proofread the students‘ essays but rather guide students to notice frequently occurring

errors, problems with organization, and any other weaknesses in their essay and then

offer suggestions for improvement. In class, activities focus on helping students learn to

revise and edit their own writing so that students develop proofreading skills. For

example, in one activity the teacher compiled common problematic sentences from their

first drafts and the students edited the sentences in small groups and then as a class.

After the students submitted their final draft, the essays were graded by the

instructor. The length of the final drafts ranged from two and a half to five pages. The

26

next section will describe the assessment process for the assignments in RWS 281 and for

this research.

THE GRADING

The students‘ papers are graded according to eight criteria: thesis, organization,

content, transitions, introduction/conclusion, sentence control, diction, and mechanical

issues. Each student essay is given a score on a scale from 1-5 (1/2=Failing,

2/3=Inadequate, 3/4=Satisfactory, 4/5=Good, 5=Excellent) for each of the eight criteria

(see Appendix B for scoring chart). In addition, the student essays are given one holistic

score for the overall quality of the writing based on the assessment of the eight criteria.

After students had received their grades on their final drafts, permission to

participate in my study was requested. Twenty-two students granted permission by

submitting their graded final essays, which I divided into high scoring and low scoring

groups based on their holistic scores; essays which had received holistic scores of 5 or 4

were placed in the high group and those which had holistic scores of 3, 2, or 1 were

placed in the low group.

As grades are not only based on coherence, not all the papers could be used in the

study. Of the eight grading criteria, organization and transitions are two major

contributing factors for coherence. According to the rubric, a high score in transitions is

given to a text whose use of ―transitions signal changes in thought process throughout the

text‖ and ―provide coherence between ideas in paragraphs and sentences‖ (Appendix B).

As for organization, a high score is given to a text whose ―overall structure is clear‖ and

―thought process easy to follow‖ (Appendix B). Therefore, transitions and organization

were deemed appropriate criteria to characterize coherent and less coherent texts. In

addition to transitions and organization, the holistic score was included in the selection of

coherent and incoherent papers.

Out of the twenty-two texts, eight texts were chosen, four from the high group and

four from the low group, based on the transition, organization, and holistic scores. The

four essays in the high group had received a grade of five or four for their organization,

transition, and holistic scores. In the low scoring group, the four essays had received a

grade of three, two, or one for their organization, transition, and holistic scores. The texts

27

were labeled Student 1, Student 2, Student 3, Student 4 for texts in the high group and

Student 5, Student 6, Student 7, and Student 8 for the low group since the names of the

students were removed to protect their privacy. Any grammatical errors found in the

student texts were not corrected.

For each group, I selected texts that had a range of scores in order to discover

whether theme and rheme choices could capture variation in levels of coherence from

very high scoring papers to progressively low scoring papers. As a result of this selection

process, it is important to note that the quantitative results will not reflect a very large

difference between the two groups since each group has a range of scores. However,

selecting texts with a range of scores allows a close examination of the types of theme

and rheme patterns in texts with different levels of coherence.

To ensure inter-rater reliability, two instructors who teach the same course (RWS

281), a graduate student in Applied Linguistics and a lecturer who specializes in ESL

writing instruction, independently graded the essays in order to verify the allocation of

scores. Though the grades were not identical, the scores indicated that from the first essay

to the last, the essays received progressively lower scores; in addition, the first four

essays received passing scores from all graders, in contrast to the last four, which were

below passing. Where there was disagreement on one score, the graders discussed the

essay and reached an agreement on the assessment.

THE ANALYSIS

The eight texts were analyzed using the theme-rheme framework (Halliday 1985;

Eggins, 2004) to examine how coherence can be achieved through the effective

organization of themes in a text. For the purposes of this research, themes were analyzed

at the level of the sentence rather than the clause because the aim of the study was to

examine patterns of thematic development across large amounts of text (North, 2005).

Example 12 illustrates how only the themes in first clause of every sentence were coded.

(12) Student 1

Theme Rheme

He <UM> believes that even though reproductive cloning is banned in the United

States, it would not stop people from other countries to continue with the

research in the next ten years (Stock 665).

28

Themes were categorized as ideational <ID>, textual <TX>, or interpersonal <IN>. The

ideational themes were further categorized as unmarked <UM> and marked <M>.

Unmarked themes are grammatical sentence subjects in declarative clauses, and can be

realized as simple and complex nominal groups. The marked themes were further

subcategorized into type: circumstantial adjunct <CA>, subordinating clause <SC>, and

attributive clause <AC>. Examples 13, 14, and 15 illustrate each type of marked theme.

In addition, textual themes were analyzed for the different kinds of textual themes used.

(13) Student 5


In this article, <M-CA> Stock discusses the future if genetic engineering continues

and how it will be beneficial for all human beings.

(14) Student 1


Since Stock advocates that

genetic engineering would only

improve humans’ lives, <M-SC>



(15) Student 3


It is presumable that

<M-AC>

Stock‘s educated audience would agree with his viewpoint in

the article and find it to be effective due to the benefits that

genetic engineering could offer.

After all occurrences of theme types were coded and tallied, percentages were

calculated by dividing each theme type by the total number of sentences. For the

subcategorizations of marked themes, the percentages were derived by comparing the

number of circumstantial adjuncts, subordinating clauses, and attributive clauses to the

total number of marked themes in each group. Theme types were calculated for each

student and then for the high scoring and low scoring groups.

The students‘ papers were also examined for thematic progression. Using the

model described in Eggins (2004), I categorized the texts for containing the following:

(1) theme reiteration <T-R>, (2) the zig-zag pattern <Z-Z>, and (3) the multiple-rheme

pattern <M-R>. To measure theme reiteration, the repetition of themes was analyzed in

each paragraph. After the first mention of a theme in a paragraph, every subsequent

mention of the theme as a proper noun or pronominal (e.g. Stock, he, his) or in

29

association with other elements (e.g. Stock’s article) was coded as an instance of theme

reiteration <T-R>. Example 16 illustrates two instances of theme reiteration in a

paragraph from a student essay. After the theme Gregory Stock was first mentioned,

every subsequent mention of Gregory Stock or he was counted for theme reiteration

<T-R>. In the paragraph in example 17, there are four instances of theme reiteration. The

first theme (Stock) is referred to in other forms (he, his) and in extended themes (His

credentials, Since Stock advocates…, he, and his credentials and knowledge) in

subsequent themes.

(16) Student 7


Gregory Stock is a business man, scientist, and one of the most predominant

figures around the global world regarding genetic engineering.

He <T-R> is a director of the program on medicine, technology, and he is

belongs to the society at UCLA‘s school program of medicine.

Gregory Stock <T-R> is the author of the best-selling book Redesigning Humans.

Based on that book, he wrote the article ―Choosing our Genes‖ which appeared in

the Futurist Magazine in July-August 2002.

(17) Student 1

Textual

Theme


Stock also shows that he has knowledge of his

argument‘s context by sharing his expertise

in genetic engineering with the readers.

His credentials <T-R> speak for his years of dedication in genetic

sciences, which includes his position as the

director of the Program on Medicine,

Technology, and Society at UCLA and being

widely recognized as one of the prominent

speakers for genetic evolution.

Since Stock advocates that

genetic engineering would only

improve humans‘ lives, <T-R>



He <T-R> also shares his knowledge and expertise

about genetic engineering and the increased

progress of scientists‘ work worldwide,

which the United States should also be a part

of (Stock 666).

Hence, his credentials and knowledge

in genetic engineering <T-R>

substantially supports his claim and

refutations.

30

Zig-zag progression, when an element in the rheme of a clause is introduced into

the theme of the following clause, was also identified in the student texts. When the

information in the rheme was reintroduced into the following theme, it was coded as an

instance of zig-zag progression <Z-Z>. Example 18 presents an occurrence of zig-zag

progression. Information in the rheme (issues people will face in the future) is

reintroduced in the following theme with a demonstrative and noun (These issues) and

was counted as one instance of zig-zig progression.

(18) Student 2

Ideational

Theme

Rheme

The Futurist is a journal targeting such readers who are concerned about issues

people will face in the future. <Z-Z>

These issues are various, ranging from environmental problems to ethical and

social subjects.

Multiple-rheme patterns, when the theme of one clause introduces a number of

different pieces of information which are made theme in subsequent clauses, was also

measured. The number of sentences contributing to the multiple-rheme pattern was

counted. Example 19 presents an example of the multiple-rheme pattern in a paragraph.

The rheme in the first sentence (two reasons to support his claim) introduces a piece of

information which is picked up again in subsequent sentences (First, Second). Three

instances of multiple-rheme <M-R> were counted in example 19.

The multiple-rheme pattern was also measured across paragraphs. Example 20

illustrates three phrases contributing to the multiple-rheme pattern. In the first sentence

various reasons provides the thematic content of subsequent sentences across paragraphs

(His main reason and Another reason Stock expresses).

As with the themes, thematic progression was first tallied for each student and

then for each group as a whole. After thematic progression was coded and tallied,

percentages were calculated by comparing the number of instances of theme reiteration,

zig-zag and multiple-rheme progressions with the total number of sentences.

31

(19) Student 3

Textual

Theme


In his article, Stock gives two reasons <M-R> to support

his claim.

First,

<M-R>

he suggests that genetic engineering will

prevent diseases.


suggest that Down syndrome children have

a great percentage in decrease in





cancer‖ (663).

Identifying what genes ―are

responsible for the protection

against cancer‖, and ―placing

them on an artificial

chromosome‖, and ―adding it to

an embryo‖

might ―reduce the occurrence of cancer,‖

according to Stock (663).

Second,

<M-R>

he also suggests that genetic engineering will

enhance the ―physical or mental well-

being of children‖ (664).

For

instance,

Stock argues that genetic engineering


beauty, intelligence, strength, altruism, and

other qualities‖ (664).

(20) Student 1


¶ 1 Stock also presents various reasons <M-R> to the readers why

people should not be afraid of genetic engineering.

His main reason

<M-R>

is that genetic engineering is the solution to the prevention of

many diseases….

¶ 2 Another reason

Stock expresses

<M-R>

is the human desire to enhance oneself….

32

In sum, the theme-rheme analysis will include the following categorizations for

theme types and thematic progression:

THEME TYPES:

Ideational -- unmarked <UM>

-- marked <M>

Textual <TX>

Interpersonal <IN>

Each marked theme will be categorized as one of the following types of marked forms.

MARKED THEMES

Circumstantial Adjunct <CA>

Subordinating Clause <SC>

Attributive Clause <AC>

Also, each different textual theme will be counted. In addition, the kind of thematic

progression used will be analyzed.

THEMATIC PROGRESSION

Theme Reiteration <T-R>

Zig Zag <Z-Z>

Multiple Rheme <M-R>

33

CHAPTER 4

RESULTS AND DISCUSSION

This chapter reports on the results of the theme-rheme analysis of the high and

low scoring undergraduate papers. The first section of this chapter will compare the

theme choices of the high and low scoring groups. The second section will analyze the

thematic patterns over longer stretches of discourse in both groups of texts. The final

section in this chapter will give a summary of the findings.

THEME TYPES

The analysis of theme and rheme patterns in the student texts allows us to identify

the level of coherence of student writing based on the effective ordering of constituents in

texts given their purpose and context. In the present study, theme and rheme choices were

analyzed for a total of 209 sentences in the high scoring student texts, and 156 sentences

in the low scoring texts. Table 1 shows the proportion of theme types (unmarked and

marked ideational themes, textual themes, and interpersonal themes) in the high and low

scoring papers. In the following subsections, I will report the frequency of each theme

type and provide examples from the student texts which illustrate how themes are used.

Table 1. Theme Types

High Scoring Papers Low Scoring Papers

# % # %

Ideational–unmarked (UM) 148 71% 135 87%

marked (M) 61 29% 21 13%

Textual (TX) 56 27% 25 16%

Interpersonal (IN) 0 0% 0 0%

Total # sentences 209 156

Unmarked Ideational Themes

Unmarked themes are more common than marked themes in both high and low

scoring papers. However, as Table 1 illustrates, unmarked themes are more frequent in

the low scoring group (87%) in comparison to the high scoring group (71%). In the low

34

group, a large proportion of the unmarked themes are personal pronouns (e.g. he) or brief

nominal groups (e.g. Gregory Stock), which are characteristic of conversation (Eggins,

2004; Schleppegrell, 2004). In contrast, the unmarked themes in the high group also

included expanded nominal structures, including embedded clauses and nominalization,

which characterize academic discourse (Eggins, 2004; Schleppegrell, 2004). These

findings are in line with Schleppegrell (2004), who argues that transitioning from

informal spoken discourse to academic written discourse poses a challenge for students

entering academic discourse communities. In informal spoken texts, pronouns and

conjunctions tend to predominate in theme position and new information is built up in

clause rhemes while in academic discourses, the organization is more hierarchical with

themes condensing given information into dense clause structures so that further

comment can be made in the rheme (Eggins, 2004; Schleppegrell, 2004).

Examples 21 and 22 reveal how the low scoring papers differ from the high

scoring papers in their use of unmarked themes. In Student 7‘s text*, a low scoring text,

Gregory Stock, Stock, the author, or he is the unmarked theme in 57% of the ideational

themes in contrast to Student 2‘s text, a high scoring text, where the author or the

pronoun referent constitutes 30% of the ideational themes. In example 21, when student 7

is evaluating Stock in terms of whether he knows the context of the argument, Stock and

he are used as unmarked ideational theme throughout the entire paragraph. The repeated

use of the same unmarked theme constitutes the theme reiteration pattern, which will be

discussed more fully below in the sub-section ―Theme Reiteration.‖

In contrast to Student 7, in example 22, Student 2 employs a dense nominal

structure, the criticisms posed to the development of germinal choice technology, in

addition to Stock as unmarked theme. As Student 2 discusses some of the criticisms

against genetic engineering in the previous two paragraphs, the reduced relative clause in

the theme, posed to the development of germinal choice technology, allows Student 2 to

recapitulate prior discourse. The compacting of information in the theme, characteristic

* As mentioned in Chapter 3 the texts in the high group are labeled Students 1-4 and the texts in the

low group Students 5-8. In addition, the texts are numbered in order according to their scores, with Student

1‘s text having the highest score, and Student 8‘s essay the lowest score.

35

of academic genres, creates a more complex text and contributes to the coherence of

Student 2‘s text.

(21) Student 7

¶ Textual

Theme

Ideational

Theme

Rheme

¶ 8 Stock <UM> is well aware of genetic engineering technology

and he knows that this technology will be new

medicine to treat illnesses.

He <UM> <T-

R>

is very knowledgeable about how genetic

engineering will have better progress in the near

future.

He <UM> <T-

R>

gives a lot of examples of the progress of genetic

engineering technology and support the new

progress.

However, he <UM> <T-R> is not mentioned how research of genetic

engineering technology is supported.

He <UM> <T-

R>

assures that genetic engineering technology will be

treatments illnesses that human beings suffer.

(22) Student 2

¶ Textual

Theme


¶

8

Finally, a mature reasoner

<UM>

knows the argument‘s context.

Stock <UM> is an expert in a field of biotechnology,

therefore is very familiar and knowledgeable

with the topic.

However, the criticisms posed

to the development

of germinal choice

technology <UM>

often come from ethical standpoints.

Stock <UM> <T-R> is not familiar with fields such as human rights

and religions, at least not enough to effectively

respond to criticism.

The analysis of unmarked themes found that successful texts have the capacity to

introduce abstract notions about texts in theme position; on the other hand, less successful

writers tend to repeat the article details instead of using examples in service of an

argument (Christie & Dreyfus, 2007). In example 21, Student 7 evaluates the author in

terms of knowing the context; however, having Stock or he begin as the point of

departure makes it difficult for the reader to identify the main idea of the paragraph. In

36

contrast, Student 2‘s use of unmarked themes in example 22 more effectively

thematicizes relevant information given the context. The first theme, a mature reasoner,

which is given information, is followed by new information and the main idea of the

paragraph (i.e. whether Stock knows the argument‘s context). The following sentences

illustrate how Stock meets the criteria of mature reasoning. The extended nominal theme,

the criticisms posed to the development of germinal choice technology, condenses given

information into an abstract idea that is further commented upon in the rheme and the

following sentence. Comparing the two paragraphs illustrates how in successful papers,

more extended and abstract nominal groups as unmarked theme contribute to text

coherence by introducing abstract ideas and making the main idea clear to the reader.

Example 23 also illustrates the way more coherent texts employ dense and

extended nominal structures in theme position. Information in the rhemes, have his

audiences in mind and to connect with different people and different point of view, is

recast in subsequent themes, An author who has audience in mind and Readers who do

not agree on Stock’s point of view, as nominal groups with embedded relative clauses. In

addition, these expanded nominal groups condense information that reflects the focus of

discussion, namely whether Stock argues with his audience in mind.

(23) Student 4

¶ Ideational Theme Rheme

¶

8

Stock <UM> does not have his audiences in mind <Z-Z> because

the article does not have interaction between

audiences. <Z-Z>

The entire article

<UM>

is made of Stock‘s argument based on his point of

view.

An author who has

audience in mind <UM>

makes effort to connect with different people and

different point of view (14). <Z-Z>

Readers who do not

agree on Stock’s point

of view <UM>

may feel the article not convincing because their

question was failed to be covered.

Nominalization is also employed as unmarked theme in the high scoring papers to

create dense nominal groups in themes. Nominalization, the process of a verb, adjective,

or other part of speech being expressed as a noun phrase, allows the compacting of

information in a theme that would otherwise be expressed in a clause (Harvey, 1993, as

cited in Schleppegrell, 2004). Nominalization is a resource of grammatical metaphor

37

where ―meanings are construed in new ways that enable the abstraction, technicality, and

development of arguments that characterize advanced literacy‖ (Schleppegrell, 2004, p.

72). Comparing how the high and low scoring texts discuss Stock‘s reasons illustrates the

difference in use of nominalization. In example 24, Student 5 from the low group uses a

clause to explain how Stock supported his claim, Stock reasons that this claim is true…,

with Stock as the point of departure of the message. In the high group, as illustrated in

examples 25 and 26, nominalization is employed; the notion expressed in a clause by

Student 5 is expressed in nominal groups, his main reason and Stock’s reasons for his

claim, in the high scoring texts. Having the point of departure as a nominalization is

effective because the theme encapsulates the purpose of the sentence, as the task requires

students to discuss the reasons Stock gives for his claim. This construction allows for the

compacting of information, characteristic of academic discourse.

(24) Student 5


Stock <UM> reasons that this claim is true simply because it currently

being developed by scientists worldwide.

(25) Student 1


His main reason <UM> is that genetic engineering is the solution to the prevention

of many diseases.

(26) Student 4


Stock’s reasons for his

claim <UM>

come from various points of views, one of them being

embryo screening, a procedure that is similar to genetic

engineering but is not yet directly altering genes, has been

in use for more than a decade (663).

The analysis of unmarked themes reveals that the lack of coherence of a text can

be attributed to the predominance of simple subject themes, such as proper nouns and

pronouns, and the lack of dense and complex nominal groups which connect discourse

and comment on abstract ideas relevant to the topic. Some of the same patterns are seen

in the use of marked themes, which will be discussed in the following section.

38

Marked Ideational Themes

While unmarked themes are more common in the low scoring papers, marked

themes occur more frequently in the high scoring group (29%) than the low scoring group

(13%), as shown in Table 1. This finding is consistent with those from previous research,

which showed marked themes occurring frequently in academic discourse and successful

student writing (Christie & Dreyfus, 2007; Eggins, 2004).

The subcategorization of marked themes shows that the high scoring group uses

more of a variety of marked themes, whereas the low group primarily employs

circumstantial adjuncts. As seen in Table 2, circumstantial adjunct is the dominant type

of marked theme in the low scoring papers (76%). In comparison, the high scoring papers

use subordinating clauses (33%) and attributive clauses (3%) in addition to circumstantial

adjuncts (64%). A further examination of how the marked themes are employed in the

texts reveals that the high scoring group uses marked themes more strategically to add

coherence to the texts in comparison to the low scoring group.

Table 2. Marked Themes


# % # %

Circumstantial Adjunct

(CA)

39 64% 16 76%

Subordinating Clause (SC) 20 33% 5 24%

Attributive Clause (AC) 2 3% 0 0%

61 21

A closer analysis of the marked themes in the high and low groups found that the

texts in the low group primarily employ circumstantial adjuncts in reference to the article

(―Choosing Our Genes‖) under discussion. The three circumstantial adjuncts, In the

article, In “Choosing Our Genes,” and Along the article, constitute 50% of the

circumstantial adjuncts in the low scoring papers and 26% of the circumstantial adjuncts

in the high scoring papers. Example 27 illustrates this use of circumstantial adjuncts in

the low scoring papers.

39

(27) Student 5


In this article <M-CA> Stock discusses the future if genetic engineering continues

and how it will be beneficial for all human beings.

In contrast, in the high scoring group, different types of marked themes are

employed to comment on more abstract ideas to indicate the more specific topic of

discussion and to link ideas throughout the text, as is the case for unmarked themes

discussed in the previous section. In academic discourse, marked ideational themes can

contribute to the coherence of a text by allowing certain ideas to become prominent

without being the subject or actor of a clause (Christie & Dreyfus, 2007; Eggins, 2004).

In example 28, a student from the high scoring group chooses marked themes, in

particular circumstantial adjuncts, as a strategy to add coherence and emphasis to his text.

In the beginning of the paper, the students are required to give some biographical

information about Gregory Stock. Instead of beginning the sentence with Stock, Student 4

writes As a biophysicist and later As an entrepreneur of a biotech company to place

emphasis on the more specific topic of discussion—Stock‘s biographical information.

The circumstantial adjunct foregrounds the specific topic of discussion in a more

effective way rather than simply having Stock as the theme.

(28) Student 4

¶ Theme Rheme

¶ 1 The author, Gregory Stock,

<UM>

is a well known figure in the field of

bioscience.

As a biophysicist, <M-CA> he has written bestselling book Redesign

Humans, and serves as the director of

Program on Medicine, Technology, and

Society at UCLA (663).

As an entrepreneur of a biotech

company himself, <M-CA>

Stock clearly stands in a favorable position to

genetic engineering (Signum).

Later in Student 4‘s essay, he strategically uses the same circumstantial adjunct to

refer to what he mentions previously (a discourse old item) in order to support his claim

that Stock is a mature reasoner. This is shown in example 29. Thus, Student 4‘s choice of

having parallel marked themes recur in four sentences makes the text more coherent by

40

emphasizing appropriate constituents given the particular prompt requirements and

creating links with discourse old information.

(29) Student 4


¶ 5 Stock meets the criteria of well-informed mature reasoner.

As an active

biophysicist, <M-CA>

he constantly researches and gathers latest

information related to his field of study.

¶ 6 As a scientist <M-CA> Stock is very knowledgeable in his field and also has

access to enormous resource.

The present study also found that marked themes can contribute to text coherence

when employed in conjunction with the zig-zag pattern, which is consistent with previous

studies (Christie & Dreyfus, 2007; Eggins, 2004). Skillful use of marked themes can add

coherence to a text‘s organization (Christie & Dreyfus, 2007; Eggins, 2004). In the high

scoring group, marked themes are used strategically to link new sentences to previous

information.

In example 30, Student 3 takes information from the rheme of the first sentence, is

not a mature reasoner, and then reformulates that information into the theme of the

following sentence with a subordinate clause, To be a mature reasoner. In the rheme of

the second sentence, the student identifies the criteria of mature reasoning, and then

reformulates that information in the marked theme of the third sentence with the student‘s

evaluation of Stock, While Stock is well informed, and argues with his audience in mind,

and knows his arguments’ contexts. Example 30 also reveals the way high scoring texts

choose to foreground the topic of the paper (i.e. whether Stock is a mature reasoner),

another factor contributing to the coherence of the text.

(30) Student 3


Gregory Stock is not a mature reasoner. <Z-Z>

To be a mature reasoner <M-SC> a person has to meet the following criteria: the

person has to be well informed, be self-critical,

argue with his audience in mind, and know

his arguments’ context. <Z-Z>

While Stock is well informed, and

argues with his audience in mind,

and knows his arguments’

contexts, <M-SC>

he is not self-critical.

41

Example 31 also illustrates the way marked themes are used to link new sentences

to previous information and to contribute to paragraph cohesion. Student 1 takes

information from the rheme of the first sentence and then uses a subordinate clause to

reformulate that information into the theme of the next sentence. This creates a sense of

unfolding of information and connects the two sentences. Overall, the marked

subordinate clauses in thematic position co-occurring with zig-zag progression connects

ideas and contributes to the coherence of the text.

(31) Student 1


He educates his readers from a different point of view. <Z-Z>

After presenting

the opposing

view, <M-SC>

Stock immediately follows up with his refutations to reassure his

readers that genetic engineering will only add greater benefits than

negativity to society.

Interpersonal Themes

The thematic analysis found no interpersonal themes in either the high or low

scoring papers. As discussed in Chapter 3, the interpersonal meaning in a text realizes the

tenor of a discourse, which reflects the relationship between the reader and the writer and

the judgments of the writer. This finding is not surprising given that in academic and

expository writing the interpersonal mood may not be situated in the theme position

(Eggins, 2004; Schleppegrell, 2004). Furthermore, the students were instructed to try to

sound more objective and academic and less conversational. In Eggins‘ (2004, p. 322)

comparison of informal spoken texts and formal written texts, she notes that the non-

thematization of modality creates ―authority and distance‖ in a text, since the author‘s

stance is not the point of departure of the message. This study found that although

interpersonal meaning is not expressed in the theme position, the author‘s stance is

expressed in the rheme in other forms, such as with non-thematic modal finites (e.g. may)

or modal adjuncts (e.g. unfortunately). Example 32 illustrates how interpersonal meaning

is realized in the rheme as a modal adjunct, likely, to create authority and make the text

sound more objective in a high scoring text.

(32) Student 1


As higher educated

readers, <M-CA>

they are likely aware of Stock‘s business involvement and

deduce his self-interest in genetic engineering.

42

Along the same lines, Schleppegrell (2004, p. 58) notes that in academic contexts

the interpersonal component differs from that in informal interactional contexts in that the

writer is ―typically expected to project a noninteracting and distanced relationship with

the listener/reader‖ and to express his or her stance in more implicit and subtler ways.

Example 33 illustrates how high scoring papers draw on ―academic register resources‖ to

express their point of view implicitly (Schleppegrell, 2004, p. 59). In example 33, Student

2 uses the marked subordinate clause Although Stock provides many examples to express

her opinion on Stock‘s strengths and the independent clause and modal adjunct often in

the rheme to express her view on the weaknesses of Stock‘s argument.

(33) Student 2

Ideational

Theme

Rheme

Although Stock

provides many

examples,

<M-SC>

the evidence he provides is often weak and not credible.

Some of the other grammatical resources that express an authoritative stance

valued in academic and expository writing are nominal terms and impersonal

constructions (Schleppegrell, 2004). In academic registers, the expression of stance is

most effective when arguments and positions are named (Schleppegrell, 2004). In the

present study, nominal structures that name arguments, The strengths of his argument,

Stock’s argument, and his argument, appear in the concluding paragraphs of some of the

students‘ texts, as shown in examples 34 and 35. In the rhemes, the students make use of

other interpersonal resources, such as quantifiers (a large amount), adjectives (one-sided,

effective), adverbs (necessarily, effectively), and verbs (tends).

(34) Student 1

Ideational

Theme

Rheme

The strengths

of his

argument

exceed his weaknesses because he is able to provide substantial

supporting evidence for his reasons, although he does not argue with

his readers in mind at times.

43

(35) Student 2


In conclusion, Stock’s

argument

provides a large amount of information coming

from his expertise, but they do not necessarily

support his claim effectively.

Nonetheless, his argument tends to be very one-sided and does not respond

to the different viewpoints in an effective

manner; therefore, Stock is not a mature reasoner.

In addition to nominal groups that name arguments, Schleppegrell (2004) argues

that the use of impersonal constructions can allow writers to express their views in a way

that appears objective. In the present study, there are two instances of attributive clauses

(i.e. impersonal constructions) in the high group, examples 36 and 37. Rather than saying

I presume that or I think it is important, the students use the impersonal constructions It is

presumable and It is important to sound objective when expressing their views

(Schleppegrell, 2004).

(36) Student 3

Textual

Theme

Ideational

Theme

Rheme

It is

presumable

that <M-AC>

Stock‘s educated audience would agree with his

viewpoint in the article and find it to be effective due to

the benefits that genetic engineering could offer.

However, his article could have been more powerful if….

(37) Student 4


It is important that <M-

AC>

the arguer knows the state of the argument.

In short, while interpersonal themes are not present in the student texts,

interpersonal meaning is expressed through other grammatical resources in ways that

make the texts sound more objective and academic. It should be noted, however, that the

above is not a complete analysis of interpersonal meaning expressed in these texts but

provides some indication of such meaning.

44

Textual Themes

The results of the study found that the high group uses textual themes (27%) more

often than the low group (16%), as indicated in Table 1. In addition to frequency, the

higher group uses greater variety of textual themes than the low group, as shown in Table

3. These results are in line with the research of Vande Kopple (1991) who found that a

text‘s incoherence can be the result of a lack of textual themes and Schleppegrell (2004)

whose study indicated that a limited set of conjunctions is characteristic of spoken

discourses (e.g. but and because) in contrast to academic genres, which require a wider

variety of conjunctions (e.g. however and nevertheless).

Table 3. Textual Themes in the Student Texts


# of different

<TX>

total used # of different

<TX>

total used

Student 1 13 23 Student 5 9 9




The repeated use of the same textual themes and low frequency of textual themes

suggests that the students in the low group do not have a variety of textual themes at their

disposal to incorporate into their essays. The minimal use of textual themes in the low

scoring group is exemplified by Student 6‘s essay, which employs only one textual

theme, For example, in the entire text. In Student 7‘s text the same theme is used

repeatedly. Out of the eleven textual themes in the text, one textual theme, For example,

appears in seven instances, which is over 60% of the total textual themes in the essay.

Student 8‘s essay only uses four textual themes in the essay. Student 5, which is the

highest scoring text in the low scoring group, illustrates the ability to employ textual

themes more frequently and with greater variety than the other students in the low group

with nine different textual themes occurring in the text.

45

Example 38 shows an example of repeated use of the same textual theme. Student

7 uses For example in the second sentence to signal that he is providing an example of

the concrete evidence Stock provides. The following theme provides another evidence

and in the last sentence the textual theme, For example, is used somewhat inappropriately

as he is further elaborating on the previous clause, the opportunity to choose gender,

rather than providing an example. The use of textual theme in this paragraph suggests

that Student 7 believes that For example is used whenever you provide textual evidence

to support an argument.

(38) Student 7

¶ Textual

Theme


¶ 5 Gregory Stock is a mature reasoner because he is well informed.

He gives concrete evidence of genetic choice

technology that he makes his argument stronger.

For

example,

in ―A Democratizing

Technology?‖

Stock says germinal choice technology will have

the ability to reduce illnesses and increase IQ.

Another evidence

that Stock mentions

is that people will have the opportunity to choose

gender.

For

example,

he explains in ―an unwelcome choice‖ that parents

will likely be able to make choices of sex selection

and also choose the IQ of their children (pg 665).

In the high group, more textual themes are employed in the texts, which

contributes to the cohesion and coherence of the texts. Student 1 uses 13 different textual

themes, Student 2 uses 12 different textual themes, and Student 3 uses 7 different ones.

This indicates the high scoring students likely have more vocabulary and connecting

devices at their disposal to link and mark the logical relationships between the parts of

their texts than the low scoring students. Examples 39 and 40 illustrate how the textual

themes are effectively used to mark the relationships between ideas in the texts in the

high scoring texts. In example 39, Student 1 ends a paragraph with Hence in order to sum

up how the information the student provided in the paragraph proves that Stock is well

informed. In example 40, the textual theme marks the relationship between the two

sentences. The first sentence explains what Stock does not do and Rather signals what

Stock does instead.

46

(39) Student 1

Textual

Theme


Hence, his credentials and knowledge

in genetic engineering

substantially supports his claim and

refutations.

(40) Student 2

Textual

Theme


Stock acknowledges there are other points of view, but he does

not engage in trying to understand their views.

Rather, he gets away by sliding the subject into something else.

Student 1 and Student 2 use textual themes the most of all the students (43%) and

they contribute to the coherence of their papers. In Student 2‘s essay, the textual themes

are often employed to create multiple-rheme patterns, which make up 28% of Student 2‘s

essay. As illustrated in example 41, textual themes create cohesion in this particular

paragraph because they indicate that besides the initial main claim, two other minor

claims made by Stock will follow.

Student 2 also uses textual themes in conjunction with the multiple-rheme pattern

across paragraphs to organize the entire second part of the essay. Example 42 provides

the start of each paragraph in the second part of the essay. Student 2 uses textual themes

effectively so that the reader has a sense of the entire organization of the second part of

the essay and can predict what is coming next. In addition, she consistently maintains

topical focus through careful choice of the ideational theme, a mature reasoner. Then,

finally in the last paragraph, the student uses in conclusion to signal this would be the last

paragraph and that she is summing up the evaluation of Stock.

When Stock and he often appear as ideational theme, textual themes make the

texts more coherent by signaling the relationships between ideas in the texts. Student 5‘s

text, which as mentioned earlier is one of the highest scoring in the low group, employs

textual themes to link sentences and to create cohesion and coherence in the essay, as

illustrated in example 43. The purpose of paragraph 4 is to analyze the organization of

Stock‘s article and describe the author‘s rhetorical strategy throughout the text. Student 5

effectively employs textual themes, Then and Lastly, as well as an unmarked theme,

47

(41) Student 2


Stock’s main

claim <M-R>

is that the new germinal choice technology will

be developed inevitably, regardless of the

current prohibition in place.

He argues that the technology is not as radical as it

seems, since embryo screening is already in

practice.

Second,

<M-R>

benefits such as

disease prevention,

are greater than the possible disadvantages.

Finally,

<M-R>

even if the US

bans the

development,

the technology would be developed somewhere

else, he argues (Stock, 666).

(42) Student 2

¶ Textual

Theme

Ideational

Theme

Rheme

¶ 5 Stock is not a mature reasoner.

A mature

reasoner

needs to present information that is supported by

evidence.

¶ 6 Second,

<M-R>

a mature

reasoner

is self-critical and open to constructive criticism,

meaning that he or she understands the criticisms in a

fair manner, and if necessary, is willing to accept

criticisms.

¶ 7 Third,

<M-R>

mature

reasoner

argues with their audiences in mind, meaning that he

or she makes a claim that is also clear to the people

with different points of view.

¶ 8 Finally,

<M-R>

a mature

reasoner

knows the argument‘s context.

¶ 9 In

conclusion,

Stock‘s

argument

provides a large amount of information coming from

his expertise, but they do not necessarily support his

claim effectively.

48

(43) Student 5

¶ Textual

Theme

Ideational

Theme

Rheme

¶ 4 Stock organized the article in a clear manner where he

separated in different sections <M-R> what he was

going to talk about.

The first

section

<UM>

<M-R>

was focused on the goals of having germinal choice,

where he explains that the initial goal of germinal

choice is to prevent disease.

After <M-

R> talking

about the

goals <M-

SC>

he goes on and explained about extending lifespan and

how people should spend money preventing instead of

treating illnesses.

This is demonstrated when he writes, “ Much more money is

being spent to find treatments for diseases of aging than

to understand the underlying process that may be

responsible for a wide variety of age-related diseases,

such as cancer, heart disease, Alzheimer’s, arthritis, and

diabetes” (664).

Then

<M-R>

he talks about how this choice is unwelcome and how

people are frightened to death.

Lastly,

<M-R>

he explains in the last two sections his refutations and the

opponents’ point of view.

He tries to convince everyone that it would be a good thing

to do, but he does not discussed about the poor, how

will they will be able to afford for this new technology?

The first section, and marked theme, After talking about his goals, as she guides the

reader through the organization of the entire text. Similar to Student 2‘s text, Student 5‘s

textuses textual themes and the multiple-rheme pattern to organize the text so that the text

flows in a predictable way for the reader to follow.

Although textual themes add cohesion and coherence to Student 5‘s essay overall,

when they are employed ungrammatically, the text flow is disrupted. In example 44, the

first textual theme, First of all, indicates that Student 5 will give the first reason why the

writer believes that Stock is well-informed. The textual theme in the second sentence, As

well as, signals that a further reason will be given. While these textual themes link the

ideas between the sentences, the textual themes are incorporated in the text

49

ungrammatically. In the second sentence, the subordinate clause is not followed by an

independent clause, leaving the rheme empty and making the sentence a fragment. In the

third sentence, the use of the textual theme is also ungrammatical. It is infelicitous for As

well as to appear at the beginning of a sentence followed by a clause. This example

illustrates how in one of the more coherent texts in the low group, an attempt is made to

use more textual themes to link ideas, though control over their usage may be

problematic.

(44) Student 5

¶ Textual

Theme


¶ 4 Gregory Stock is a mature reasoner in the sense that he is

well informed about genetic engineering.

First of all, because he had written

books about related topics,

such as the best selling

Redesigning Humans.

As well as he is the owner of a biotechnology company.

He demonstrates his knowledge on the topic

when he said, “sex selection is legal in the

United States, but illegal in Britain and a

number of other countries” (664).

By his citing we are able to know that he is well

informed and aware of legislative aspects

of genetic engineering and related topics.

The higher presence of textual themes in the high scoring texts than the low

scoring texts suggests that textual themes contribute to the coherence of texts by making

connections between clauses and sentences.

THEMATIC PROGRESSION

The analysis of thematic progression allows us to identify theme and rheme

patterns over longer stretches of discourse. How thematic elements succeed each other

can contribute to or detract from the coherence of a text given their purpose and context.

Table 4 shows the results of the analysis of three patterns of thematic progression, theme

reiteration, the zig-zag pattern, and the multiple-rheme pattern, among the high and low

scoring papers. In the following subsections, I will report the quantitative and qualitative

results of the analysis for each type of thematic progression.

50

Theme Reiteration

According to Table 4, the theme reiteration patterns appear in 92 instances in the

high scoring texts and 68 instances in the low scoring texts. When analyzed in proportion

to the number of sentences in each group, the pattern appears equally often (44%) in both

the high and low scoring groups. However, this study found that the theme reiteration

pattern can make a text coherent or incoherent depending on how the pattern is employed

in the texts.

Table 4. Thematic Progression


# % # %

Theme Reiteration (T-R) 92 44% 68 44%

Zig Zag (Z-Z) 64 31% 34 22%

Multiple Rheme (M-R) 37 18% 13 8%

Theme reiteration, where the same theme is reiterated regularly, contributes to

text cohesion and coherence because a clear focus is maintained (Eggins, 2004).

However, when the same theme appears repeatedly, the text becomes difficult to follow

and seems to lack development (Christie & Dreyfus, 2007; Schleppegrell, 2004; Vande

Kopple, 1991; Wang, 2007). When the theme never changes, the point of departure of a

message remains constant. The result is the new information introduced in the rhemes is

never followed up or expanded on in subsequent themes, which can make a text appear to

lack development (Eggins, 2004).

The present study found that the repeated use of simple themes (e.g. Stock or he)

occurs more frequently in the low scoring texts, an example of which is provided in

example 45. In paragraph 5, Student 6‘s intent is to evaluate Stock‘s argument, in

particular its strengths, and every theme in paragraph 5 consists of Stock or he. The

recurrence of the key participant Stock as the point of departure makes the text appear

like a list. The rhemes all give examples of Stock‘s strengths but none of that new

51

information is developed in the subsequent themes. As a result, the student‘s evaluation

of Stock appears to lack development and the sentences seem disconnected.

In addition, as mentioned in the discussion of unmarked themes, the recurrence of

Stock and he instead of abstract ideas in the low scoring papers makes the main idea of

the paragraph difficult to identify. In example 45 the only indication that the topic of the

paragraph is Stock‘s strengths is the noun phrase a good job in the rheme of the first

sentence. If the main idea of the paragraph, Stock’s strengths, were placed in the theme,

the reader would have a clearer idea that the new information in the rhemes is related to

Stock‘s strengths.

(45) Student 6


¶ 5 Stock did a good job of supporting his claim that we should not

ban genetic engineering.

He <UM> <T-

R>

appeals to our emotions by explaining that genetic

engineering might prevent unborn babies from having

incurable hereditary diseases, such as cystic fibrosis.

He <UM> <T-

R>

argues from logical statistics to show that genes determine

how likely it is a person will have a disease.

He <UM> <T-

R>

refers to recent studies to show that children who have

Down Syndrome are almost 90% less likely to develop

many cancers than those without the bad gene that causes

Down Syndrome (Stock, 663).

Stock <UM>

<T-R>

writes that genetic engineering can tell which genes are

bad, in order to prevent disease, and may be it will be able

to fix genes that are bad: ―What if we could identify which

of the genes on that chromosome are responsible for this

protection from cancer? Geneticist might take a set of

those genes and place them . . . but without all the

problems brought by the duplication of the other genes on

chromosome 21‖ (Stock, 663).

Even though theme reiteration occurs as frequently in the high scoring texts as the

low scoring texts (44%), theme reiteration is exploited with greater complexity in the

high scoring texts. The theme Stock is often repeated in subsequent themes in longer

nominal groups. This has the effect of keeping the text focused while avoiding simple

repetition (Eggins, 2004). Example 46 illustrates this more complex use of theme

reiteration in a high scoring text. In contrast to example 45, in this example Student 1

52

uses nominalization, the strengths of his argument, to express the topic of discussion in

addition to making a link to the previous rheme. In the first rheme, Student 1 writes that

Stock presented his argument well and this is followed up in the theme of the next

sentence with the strengths of his argument.

(46) Student 1

Textual

Theme

Ideational

Theme

Rheme

Overall, Stock <UM> presents his argument well <Z-Z> in focus of his claim

that genetic engineering will continue to evolve despite

intervention and regulation, and people should embrace this

technology as it will bring greater good to mankind.

The strengths

of his

argument

<UM> <T-R>

exceed his weaknesses because he is able to provide

substantial supporting evidence for his reasons, although he

does not argue with his readers in mind at times.

But he <UM>

<T-R>

consistently presents refutations to the opposing view of

genetic engineering.

As a

result,

he <UM>

<T-R>

is likely to be successful in presenting a convincing

argument to his intended audience.

The more effective use of theme reiteration is also shown in example 47. The first

theme is Gregory Stock, which appears again as the following theme, but in combination

with other elements, As part of his job. This keeps the author as the focus but follows up

on the information in the previous rheme, biophysicist, best selling author, biotech

entrepreneur, and the former director. Again in the last sentence, Student 3 employs a

more extended nominal theme, the articles published in the magazine, to build on the

discussion of The Futurist, which is the magazine. The recurrence of themes in

combination with other elements results in texts that are more developed, complex, and

coherent.

(47) Student 3


¶ 1 Gregory Stock <UM>

is a biophysicist, best selling author, biotech

entrepreneur, and the former director of the

Program on Medicine, Technology and Society at

UCLA‘s School of Medicine. <Z-Z>

As part of his job,

<M> <T-R>

Stock explores future critical technologies which,

according to him, would have great impact on

humanity‘s future.

53

Stock <UM>

<T-R>

is the author of the book titled, ―Redesigning

Humans: Choosing Our Genes, Changing Our

Future.‖ <Z-Z>

An article based on

this book called

―Choosing Our

Genes‖ <UM>

was published in The Futurist (July-August 2002).

The Futurist

<UM>

is a magazine published by the World Future Society.

<Z-Z>

The magazine <UM>

is written for a highly educated audience such as

scientists, doctors, businessmen, ecologist, biologists,

and college students among others.

The Futurist

<UM> <T-R>

―takes no stand on what the future will or should be

like‖ (wfs.org).

The articles

published in the

magazine <UM>

<T-R>

are written by professionals in a broad range of

subjects: ―medicine, education, business, economics,

environment and resources, creativity, and much

more‖ (wfs.org).

Zig-Zag Pattern

The study found that the zig-zag pattern of thematic progression occurs more

frequently in the high scoring texts (31%) than the low scoring texts (22%), as shown in

Table 4. The zig-zag pattern, where information in the rheme is reintroduced into the

following theme, creates links between sentences and paragraphs in the texts. The fact

that this tool for making texts more cohesive and coherent is more common in the high

scoring texts is consistent with previous research. Studies have found that more

successful academic student writers employ cross-referential links between the rheme of

one clause to the theme of the following clause to create cohesion and coherence in a text

(Christie & Dreyfus, 2007; Eggins, 2004; Schleppegrell, 2004; Wang, 2007). This

process involves picking up information in the rheme of one clause, and incorporating it

into the theme of the following clause in denser clause structures, such as nominalizations

or extended nominal groups (Christie & Dreyfus, 2007; Eggins, 2004; Schleppegrell,

2004; Wang, 2007).

The analysis of zig-zag patterns in the high scoring group shows that the zig-zag

pattern frequently occurs with extended themes and nominalizations to create cohesion

and a sense of development in the texts. In example 48, the marked theme in the second

sentence, With this technology fairly available to everyone in the society, is a

54

nominalization of the information in the previous clause, everyone is able to access its

services. This pattern allows connections between ideas and development of arguments to

be clearly expressed to the reader.

(48) Student 1

Textual

Theme


Hence, why not allow genetic sciences to progress so that

everyone is able to access its services. <Z-Z>

With this technology

fairly available to

everyone in the society,

<M-CA>

genetic engineering will regard as a democratic

ideal solution.

The zig-zag pattern together with nominalization also occurs in Student 2‘s text.

In example 49, nominalization and marked themes are employed to link and develop

ideas across two sentences. The information from the rheme of sentence 1, some people

worry about loss of diversity and whether deaf parents should be allowed to make their

children deaf, is incorporated in the theme of the following sentence in a marked

subordinate clause construction, Although the two subjects seem related. This information

is recast again in the rheme of the second clause in nominalizations, a concern regarding

demographic diversity and a concern regarding reproduction of deaf community. This

example illustrates how Student 2 is able to condense information and recast it in

subsequent themes and rhemes to advance her argument.

(49) Student 2

Textual

Theme


For

instance,

in paragraph fourteen, he states, ―some people worry about loss of

diversity,” but then turns the subject into a

rather ethical question: whether deaf parents

should be allowed to make their children deaf.

<Z-Z>

Although the two

subjects seem related,

<M-SC>

a concern regarding demographic diversity and

a concern regarding reproduction of deaf

community are totally different topics.

The study also found that the zig-zag progression is also employed to create links

between information across paragraphs in the high scoring texts. Examples 50 and 51

show the students‘ use of the zig-zag pattern to create cohesion and coherence in their

55

essays. In example 50, Student 4 uses the zig-zag pattern and nominalization to link the

rheme of the last sentence of the tenth paragraph in the paper, allows readers relatively

easy to follow the content without being lost, to the theme of the first sentence of

paragraph 11, The reader-friendly structure. The nominalization of the information in the

previous rheme allows the student to make a connection between the two paragraphs.

Example 51 illustrates how a student employs zig-zag progression across three

paragraphs. The marked theme in the ninth paragraph in the paper, Aside from well-

informed and knowledgeable, makes reference to the main idea of the previous

paragraphs and then introduces new information on how the argument will advance,

Stock demonstrates that he is open to constructive criticism. The result is that the

argument progressively develops, with the reader being reminded of the connections

between paragraphs.

(50) Student 4


¶

10

This kind of

structure

allows readers relatively easy to follow the content

without being lost in the middle. <Z-Z>

¶

11

The reader-

friendly structure

<UM>

also attracts more audiences.

(51) Student 1


¶ 7 Stock depicts that he is well-informed by providing scientific

evidence and presenting legal policies.

¶ 8 Stock also shows that he has knowledge of his argument‘s context

by sharing his expertise in genetic engineering with the

readers.

¶ 9 Aside from well-

informed and

knowledgeable,

<M-CA>

Stock demonstrates that he is open to constructive criticism.

The zig-zag pattern also appears in the low scoring texts (22%) though the

linguistic features which link clauses differ from the high group. Extended nominal

groups and nominalizations rarely appear in the low scoring texts. In some of the low

scoring texts, demonstrative pronouns are used to make reference to previous clauses.

Schleppegrell (2004, p. 64) similarly found that deictic expressions such as this or that

56

―used endophorically to make links between segments of a text‖ can be a resource for

cohesion in academic writing. Examples 52 and 53 illustrate the students‘ use of the

demonstrative pronoun this to connect sentences. In addition, in example 53 Student 5

uses the marked theme By his citing to refer to the citation in the previous rheme. While

these anaphoric devices create cohesion, dense nominal and marked themes carrying

given information are rarely found in the low scoring texts.

(52) Student 6


The strongest point made by

Stock

is that he tells the reader what he thinks will

happen, even if people do not want it to happen.

<Z-Z>

This <UM> means they must decide what to do when they

cannot stop genetic engineering.

(53) Student 5

Ideational

Theme

Rheme

Stock showed, for the most part, a sincere effort to understand and connect

with other points of views because he presented opposition but I think he

did not do it enough. <Z-Z>

This <UM> is show when Stock said, ― The differences will not so much be between

the wealthy and the poor in one generation, but between one generation

and the next‖ (666).

He demonstrates his knowledge on the topic when he said, ―sex selection is

legal in the United States, but illegal in Britain and a number of other

countries‖ (664). <Z-Z>

By his citing

<M-CA>

we are able to know that he is well informed and aware of legislative

aspects of genetic engineering and related topics.

Overall, the study found that the texts in the high group create zig-zag patterns

through the use of dense and extended themes while the low scoring texts frequently link

sentences with anaphoric devices (e.g. this).

Multiple-Rheme Pattern

As Table 4 indicates, the multiple-rheme pattern occurs more often in the high

scoring texts (18%) than the low scoring texts (8%). The multiple-rheme pattern, which is

when the theme of one clause introduces a number of different pieces of information

made theme in subsequent clauses, organizes a text in a way that makes it easy for the

57

reader to predict what is coming next in a paragraph and across multiple paragraphs.

According to Eggins (2004, p. 326), the multiple-rheme pattern provides the ―underlying

organizing principle for a text‖ which differs from the other types of thematic progression

(theme reiteration and the zig-zag pattern) which are ―used for elaborating on each of the

main thematic points.‖

Examples 54, 55, and 56 illustrate how students in the high group employ the

multiple-rheme pattern within single paragraphs. In example 54, Student 3 begins by

saying that Stock gives two reasons to support his claim. This informs the readers to

expect what follows, which is signaled by the textual themes First and Second. As

mentioned in the section ―Textual Themes,‖ the multiple-rheme pattern is often realized

through the use of textual themes.

(54) Student 3


In his article, Stock gives two reasons <M-R> to

support his claim.

First, <M-R> he suggests that genetic engineering will

prevent diseases.


suggest that Down syndrome children

have a great percentage in decrease in





cancer‖ (663).

Identifying what genes

―are responsible for the

protection against cancer‖,

and ―placing them on an

artificial chromosome‖,

and ―adding it to an

embryo‖

might ―reduce the occurrence of

cancer,‖ according to Stock (663).

Second, <M-R> he also suggests that genetic engineering

will enhance the ―physical or mental

well-being of children‖ (664).

For instance, Stock argues that genetic engineering


beauty, intelligence, strength, altruism,

and other qualities‖ (664).

58

In example 55, Student 1 begins the paragraph with a topic sentence indicating

that Stock‘s strengths will be discussed. The multiple-rheme pattern occurs when the

following themes signal when another strength is being introduced (One of his strengths

and In addition). The multiple-rheme pattern organizes the text in a way that creates

expectations for the reader as to what information will follow in the paragraph.

(55) Student 1

Textual

Theme


Aside from the

weaknesses of Stock‘s

article,

he also portrays strengths that made his

argument strong. <M-R>

One of his strengths

<M-R>

is his authority figure as a scientist, professor,

and an expert in genetic engineering that

explains and justifies technical scientific terms

to the readers.

In addition,

<M-R>

his vast knowledge in

this field

supported his refutations to the opposing view

are also convincing to the readers.

Example 56 illustrates how Student 2 employs the multiple-rheme pattern in the

paragraph discussing the organization of Stock‘s article. In this section, students are

asked to analyze how Stock organized his article, referring to groups of paragraphs. The

prompt also requires that in this section the students be specific and refer to actual

passages. In example 56, Student 2 begins by informing the reader of the topic of the

paragraph, Stock organizes the article in a very effective way. The next sentence explains

how the article is organized in a general way, First, he introduces the germinal choice

technology, and later he discusses the debate and issues surrounding it. The textual

theme, Specifically, in addition to the marked themes, from paragraph one to four and

From paragraph twelve to sixteen, signal the sections of the text Student 2 will discuss.

The multiple-rheme pattern allows Student 2 to address the prompt explicitly and make

the organization of the paragraph clear to the reader.

(56) Student 2

Textual

Theme


Stock organizes the article in a very effective way.

<M-R>

59

First,

<M-R>

he introduces the germinal choice technology, and

later he discusses the debate and issues

surrounding it.

Specifically, from paragraph one

to four, <M-R>

he defines and explains the technology, and from

paragraph five to eleven, he presents the goals of

it: combating diseases and antiaging.

From paragraph

twelve to sixteen,

<M-R>

he introduces people‘s concerns, such as possible

loss of diversity in human population, and he

attempts to ensure that the technology will be

beneficial.

From paragraph

seventeen to twenty,

<M-R>

he emphasizes the inevitable development of the

technology and attacks the US policy.

From paragraph 21

to 25, <M-R>

he introduces counterarguments: possible

inequality between the rich and poor, and the issue

of humanity.

Finally,

<M-R>

Stock concludes the essay by refuting the opposition,

stating that humans are still undergoing the

evolution process.

The article is overall organized in a manner that is easy to

understand.

The readers can follow his argument even if they are

completely unfamiliar with the issue, since Stock

starts the essay by explaining what the germinal

choice technology is.

In the high scoring texts, the multiple-rheme pattern also occurs across multiple

paragraphs, as shown in examples 57 and 58. Student 2 and Student 3 both employ the

multiple-rheme pattern to organize the second part of their essays. As mentioned in the

section ―Textual Themes,‖ Student 2 uses both textual themes and the multiple-rheme

pattern to organize the essay. Student 2 begins paragraph 5 with the topic of part 2, Stock

is not a mature reasoner, and then starts each paragraph with one of the four criteria of

mature reasoning. The textual themes signal to the reader that another criteria of mature

reasoning will be discussed. This pattern makes it easy for the reader to follow the

organization of the second part of the essay.

The multiple-rheme pattern also appears in the second part of Student 3‘s essay,

as shown in example 58. Paragraph 4 first provides background information to the reader

on the criteria of mature reasoning and then gives an evaluation of how Stock meets these

criteria, While Stock is well informed, and argues with his audience in mind, and knows

60

his arguments’ contexts, he is not self-critical. The following four paragraphs begin with

one of the criteria of mature reasoning as topic sentence. The multiple-rheme pattern

allows the reader to predict what would come next, what the main idea of each paragraph

is, and how it contributes to the student‘s argument.

(57) Student 2

¶ Textual

Theme

Ideational

Theme

Rheme

¶ 5 Stock is not a mature reasoner.

A mature

reasoner

needs to present information that is supported by

evidence.

¶ 6 Second,

<M-R>

a mature

reasoner

is self-critical and open to constructive criticism,

meaning that he or she understands the criticisms in a fair

manner, and if necessary, is willing to accept criticisms.

¶ 7 Third,

<M-R>

mature

reasoner

argues with their audiences in mind, meaning that he or

she makes a claim that is also clear to the people with

different points of view.

¶ 8 Finally,

<M-R>

a mature

reasoner knows the argument’s context.

¶ 9 In

conclusion,

Stock‘s

argument

provides a large amount of information coming from his

expertise, but they do not necessarily support his claim

effectively.

(58) Student 3

¶ Textual

Theme


¶ 4 Gregory Stock is not a mature reasoner.

To be a mature reasoner a person has to meet the following criteria: the

person has to be well informed, be self-critical,

argue with his audience in mind, and know his

arguments‘ context.

While Stock is well

informed, and argues

with his audience in

mind, and knows his

arguments’ contexts,

he is not self-critical. <M-R>

¶ 5 Stock is well informed. <M-R>

¶ 6 Stock is not self-critical. <M-R>

¶ 7 Stock argues with his audience in mind. <M-R>

¶ 8 Finally, Stock knows his arguments’ context. <M-R>

61

SUMMARY

Overall, the analysis of theme and rheme choices in the high and low scoring texts

reveals that theme and rheme choices can affect the coherence of a text. The analysis of

unmarked themes indicates that the high scoring papers employ denser and more complex

nominal groups which establish connections between different parts of discourse and

reflect the focus of the assignment. In contrast, the low scoring papers frequently employ

the author as unmarked theme, which weakens the coherence of the texts.

Comparing the marked themes in the high and low groups reveals that coherence

is achieved in the high scoring texts through the strategic use of something other than the

grammatical subject. The marked themes create links to earlier stages of the text

(discourse old information) and make the departure of the message more abstract ideas

related to the topic of the paper assignment. On the other hand, the low scoring papers

primarily rely on circumstantial adjuncts to refer to the article, which, like the overuse of

the unmarked theme Stock or he, weakens the coherence of the text.

The study found no interpersonal themes, which is not surprising given that in

academic discourse interpersonal meaning tends to be expressed through other

grammatical resources in the rheme. As for textual themes, the high scoring texts use a

greater variety of textual themes to create cohesion in the texts in comparison to the low

scoring papers. In addition, textual themes often coincide with the multiple-rheme pattern

as a means of organizing texts.

The analysis of thematic progression also reveals differences between the two

groups. As for the theme reiteration pattern, in the low scoring group, the repetition of the

same simple theme makes the texts appear undeveloped and disconnected. In contrast, the

high scoring texts tend to employ the same theme in combination with other elements in

extended and complex themes, which makes the ideas in the texts more developed and

coherent.

The zig-zag pattern, which appears more frequently in the high scoring texts than

the low scoring texts, is employed through different grammatical resources in the two

groups. In the high group, the zig-zag patterns are often accompanied by extended themes

and nominalization to create cohesion and a sense of development in their texts. The

effect of this construction is that the argument is progressively developed as each clause

62

expands the discussion with the connections between the clauses made explicit. In

contrast, in the low group, the zig-zag patterns are often realized with demonstrative

pronouns (e.g. this) used to refer to previous clauses.

As with the zig-zag pattern, the multiple-rheme pattern occurs more often in the

high scoring texts than the low scoring texts. The analysis found that this method of

thematic progression can organize a text in a way that allows the reader to predict what

will follow both within and across paragraphs.

In summary, the theme-rheme framework, which captures the textual

metafunction of discourse, is an effective analytical framework for understanding the

construction of coherence in student writing. Evaluating theme and rheme choices reveals

how the arrangement of ideational, interpersonal, and textual meanings can contribute to

or detract from a text‘s coherence.

63

CHAPTER 5

THEME-RHEME TEACHING MATERIALS

Following the results of this study, this chapter presents classroom activities that

introduce students to the grammar of theme-rheme in order to improve the coherence of

their writing. The following lesson draws on the present study and previously mentioned

research and provides a model of how the theme-rheme analytical framework can be

incorporated into an academic writing curriculum. The lesson described in this chapter is

intended for an undergraduate ESL academic reading and writing course; however, it can

be adapted for other levels and contexts.

INTRODUCTION

As mentioned in Chapter 1, while coherence has been considered fundamental to

the success of an academic paper, ESL writing instruction appears to lack a systematic

way of teaching coherence (Lee, 2002; Witte & Faigely, 1981). Instruction tends to focus

on ―local‖ coherence problems related to mechanical and grammatical errors or cohesive

devices despite the fact that ―global coherence,‖ which looks at the coherence of a text as

a whole, needs to be addressed in the ESL classroom in a systematic way (Bamberg,

1983; Lee, 2002; Schleppegrell, 2009; Witte & Faigely, 1981). The findings of this study

and previous research suggest that SFL, with its emphasis on meaning and function, and

theme-rheme, the grammar which identifies the lexico-grammatical elements of the

textual metafunction, provide an effective framework for identifying coherence in student

texts (Bloor & Bloor, 1992; Christie & Dreyfus, 2007; Eggins, 2004; Schleppegrell,

2004, 2009; Vande Kopple, 1991; Wang, 2007). As a result, it has been suggested that

the grammar of theme-rheme can be incorporated into writing instruction (Bloor & Bloor,

1992; Christie & Dreyfus, 2007; Schleppegrell, 2004, 2009; Vande Kopple, 1991; Wang,

2007). The following lesson has a sequence of activities which first develop students‘

meta-awareness of coherence and theme and rheme, and then allow students to apply it to

their writing to improve its coherence.

64

THE THEME-RHEME LESSON

The lesson described in this chapter is an example of a theme-rheme lesson which

can be used during the revision stage of the writing process. Schleppegrell (2009)

suggested that composition instructors help students analyze their texts in terms of

thematic structure and progression after students have written their first drafts and before

sentence-level editing. In this way, students can improve the way information flows and

meaning is developed in their texts before focusing on grammatical errors. The activities

in this lesson offer students opportunities to analyze student texts and authentic texts in

addition to their own writing. The texts in the lesson were taken from this study so that

the students could see models of the particular genre they are expected to produce. For

the authentic text, I chose ―Choosing Our Genes‖ by Gregory Stock (2009), which is the

article the students analyze and evaluate for the writing assignment. The students would

already be familiar with the text and could focus on the theme-rheme analysis and not

have the additional task of understanding the text. Texts from different genres can be

used for the lesson depending on the particular context and population of students.

The lesson to follow is divided into five sections: 1) introduction to theme-rheme,

2) analysis of authentic and model texts, 3) introduction to thematic patterns, 4) analysis

of theme patterns in student texts, and 5) application to the students‘ writing. First, the

students are introduced to the notion of coherence and the grammar of theme-rheme. This

is followed by activities which allow students to analyze the theme and rheme structure

of sentences followed by paragraphs. The same process is repeated for theme-rheme

patterns: first, students are introduced to the grammar and then activities follow which

allow them to identify and analyze these patterns in texts. Finally, the lesson ends with

the students peer reviewing each other‘s essays for thematic structuring and then

analyzing their own texts. The lesson will be described below with the pedagogical

rationale behind the activities. The complete student lesson and a teacher‘s guide are

found in Appendix C.

Introduction to Coherence and Theme-Rheme

The lesson begins with Part 1, a warm-up activity which asks students to read two

excerpts of student writing from the present study, one which received a high grade and

65

the other a low grade. Guided questions follow which ask students to compare the texts in

terms of how they begin sentences and how well connections are made between

sentences. This activity precedes the introduction to theme-rheme in order to activate

their schemata by drawing their attention to how sentences begin and how connections

between sentences can affect the coherence of a text.

Following the warm-up, Part 2 provides students with an explanation of

coherence and its importance in writing. Then, a grammar box is presented with

grammatical explanations of theme and rheme and the different types of themes (textual,

ideational, and interpersonal). All explanations are accompanied with examples. Lee

(2000, 2002) found that developing students‘ meta-awareness of coherence can help

students revise the discourse level of their texts and improve the overall coherence of

their writing. Studies have also suggested that teaching students the notions of theme and

rheme can expand students‘ range of grammatical options for meaning-making that lead

to more effective writing (Schleppegrell, 2004, 2009; Vande Kopple, 1991; Wang 2007).

Part 2 of this lesson explains these concepts to students in a simplified grammar reference

box, which will later serve as a reference when they analyze texts for theme and rheme

structure and coherence.

Analysis of Authentic and Model Texts

Part 3 provides students with the opportunity to practice identifying the theme,

rheme, and various theme types in single sentences. The purpose of the activity is for

students to consolidate the knowledge they acquired in Part 2 before attempting to

analyze longer texts. In Part 4, students do a theme-rheme analysis of the two student

texts they read in Part 1. The goal of this activity is for students to analyze the theme-

rheme patterns in small texts before they start analyzing longer texts. In addition, this

activity gives students the opportunity to learn how theme and rheme choices can affect

the success of a text, given that they are comparing a low scoring text to a high scoring

one. Research has shown that comparing a successful text to an unsuccessful one can

illustrate which theme choices and organization are valued in a particular genre (Christie

& Dreyfus, 2007). Vande Kopple (1991, p. 327) recommended that students become

aware of the reasons for which they choose themes and how clauses fit together in a text

66

for the particular context since many students often ―select ideational themes

capriciously‖ and ―produce a string of clauses that lack a consistent focal point.‖

Given that the texts chosen for this activity were taken from the present study,

they illustrate which theme structures are valued in this genre and contribute to text

coherence. Therefore, in Part 3 teachers should highlight how the themes in the

successful text have some complex nominal groups which reflect the topic of the

paragraph and connect ideas between sentences (Schleppegrell, 2004, 2009). Instructors

should also emphasize the important role textual themes can play when used

appropriately to connect ideas between sentences (Schleppegrell, 2004; Vande Kopple,

1991). Instructors should point out that the low scoring text has the same repeated theme

which can create confusion on the part of the reader because the topic of the paragraph is

not clear in the themes and there is minimal connection between sentences (Christie &

Deryfus, 2007; Schleppegrell, 2004; Wang, 2007).

Part 5 is a scramble activity in which the themes have been cut up into strips. The

rhemes are provided in the order they appear in the original text and the students are

asked to decide where the themes belong. The rhemes can be scrambled as well to make

the task more challenging. An authentic text was chosen for this activity in order to give

students exposure to the theme-rheme patterns in another genre and increase their

knowledge of how coherence is created in various texts. Vande Kopple (1991)

recommended that an activity with scrambled ideational themes may help those students

who struggle with consistency in ideational themes. Part 5 teaches students that, in

coherent texts, ideational themes develop rhemes and focus logically and consistently on

related things in order for there to be topic development. In the activity, the teacher

should ask students how they chose where to place the scrambled themes and how

coherence is achieved in the text.

Introduction to Theme-Rheme Patterns

Part 6 introduces students to three types of theme-rheme patterns. Like Part 2, a

grammar reference box is provided with explanations of the patterns accompanied by

examples, which are student samples from the present study. In this way, students see the

patterns in the target writing genre for this particular course. Alongside the description of

67

the patterns, information is provided on how they can detract from or contribute to text

coherence. Theme reiteration can make a text difficult to follow or appear to lack topic

development in academic student writing, as found in previous research (Christie &

Dreyfus, 2007; Eggins, 2004; Schleppegrell, 2004; Vande Kopple, 1991; Wang, 2007)

and in the present study. The theme pattern most valued is zig-zag in which the

connections between ideas are explicit and dense nominal structures recapitulate old

information in the theme (Christie & Dreyfus, 2007; Eggins, 2004; Schleppegrell, 2004;

Wang, 2007). The multiple-rheme pattern can also provide a text with coherence by

providing an organizational pattern which indicates to the reader what will follow in a

text (Christie & Dreyfus, 2007; Eggins, 2004). The grammar reference box in Part 6 also

discusses how control of information structure, with old information preceding new

information, is also an important element in text coherence (Bloor & Bloor, 1992; Wang,

2007).

Analysis of Theme Patterns in Student Texts

Part 7 asks students to identify the theme-rheme patterns in three short texts,

which are student writings from the present study. This activity gives students the

opportunity to apply the knowledge of theme-rheme patterns they acquired in Part 6 and

practice identifying theme-rheme patterns in short texts before they attempt to analyze

longer texts.

In Part 8, students apply the grammar they learned in Part 2 and Part 6—theme,

rheme, theme types, and theme patterns—to a student model text. The particular text

chosen for this activity is the student model text which RWS 281 students are given as an

example of a high scoring text. Since analyzing a text can be overwhelming and time

consuming, the teacher can divide the essay into sections for groups of 3 to 4 students to

analyze. The identification of the thematic structure of the text should be accompanied by

a discussion on how the information flows to make the text coherent. Christie and

Dreyfus (2007) advocate a genre-based pedagogy, in which teachers identify target

genres and deconstruct those genre models for theme and thematic progression with their

students. A discussion of thematic elements can help students understand how the

68

meaning and purpose of a text unfolds when these elements are effectively arranged

(Christie & Dreyfus, 2007).

The model text provided in Part 8 includes the elements of a successful essay in

this particular genre, which were discussed in the results section of this study. These

elements include a variety of textual themes, complex structures in the theme (e.g.

subordinate clauses, dense nominal groups, and nominalization), and a combination of

theme reiteration and zig-zag progression. Wang (2007, p. 167) found that when students

do not properly control how information moves from theme to rheme, ―there is no clear

signpost directing the reader, who therefore cannot easily follow the progression of an

idea or argument.‖ Analyzing how coherence is created through the progression of

themes and rhemes in a successful text can provide a model for students to improve the

coherence of their own writing.

Application to the Students’ Writing

The theme-rheme lesson culminates in Part 9 and 10 where students take their

meta-knowledge of text coherence and theme and rheme structuring and apply it to their

own writing. In Part 9, students analyze the themes and rhemes of another student‘s text

as a peer review activity. The task also requires students to identify any theme patterns,

which they mark with abbreviations (T-R, Z-Z, and M-R). Each student chooses one

paragraph they feel is incoherent for another student to analyze. Rewriting the paragraph

in a chart will provide the students with a graphic image of how information is

developed. Vande Kopple (1991) suggested that students who have difficulty with

coherence in their writing would benefit from charting the ideational themes in their texts

because this type of activity often reveals the discontinuity in their theme and rheme

choices.

After charting the paragraph, students write a paragraph offering suggestions to

the other student on how some changes in the theme and rheme structure can improve the

text. To ensure that the peer review is successful, students should be held accountable for

giving feedback by having teachers reading, responding to, and grading peer responses

(Ferris & Hedgcock, 2005; Leki, 1990; Mittan, 1989). As a follow up, students are also

required to attach a paragraph to their final drafts in which they explain what suggestions

69

from the peer review were incorporated into the final drafts of their essay (Ferris &

Hedgcock, 2005). This will help students to think critically about the responses they have

received from their classmates.

In Part 10, students do a theme-rheme analysis of the first draft of their second

writing assignment. At this point in the lesson, students have had practice with this type

of analysis and will be better prepared to analyze their own texts. The students will also

write a paragraph, like in Part 9, describing the strengths and weaknesses of their theme

choices and making suggestions for improvement. As in the previous activity, the

students‘ analyses and paragraphs should be read by the teachers, who can comment and

make further suggestions for improvement. Schleppegrell (2009) suggested that leading

students through a theme-rheme analysis of their own texts can shed light on how well

their ideas are focused and developed and how effectively connections are established

between ideas.

CONCLUSION

All of the activities in this lesson are designed to build students‘ meta-knowledge

of coherence and theme-rheme in order to give students more grammatical resources to

improve the coherence of their writing. Furthermore, students become aware of how

information and ideas should flow in a text so that it can be easily understood by the

reader. In addition, students learn about which theme and rheme structures are valued in

the target genre and other academic genres, such as complex nominal groups and zig-zag

progression. Finally, students are given opportunities to apply this knowledge to improve

their own writing.

70

CHAPTER 6

CONCLUSIONS

This study investigated the potential role the theme-rheme framework can play in

assisting ESL undergraduates to improve the coherence of their writing. The study sought

to investigate whether certain theme and rheme choices can affect text coherence and

whether patterns of these choices could be identified in successful and less successful

papers. Eight student texts, four successful and coherent essays and four less successful

and less coherent texts, were analyzed for theme types (ideational, interpersonal, and

textual themes) and theme patterns (theme reiteration, zig-zag pattern, and multiple-

rheme pattern).

The quantitative and qualitative analyses revealed theme patterns particular to

each group. High scoring coherent texts use both unmarked and marked themes

consisting of dense and complex nominal groups. These themes are frequently used with

the zig-zag and theme reiteration patterns, which establish connections between different

parts of discourse and reflect the focus of the assignment (Christie & Dreyfus, 2007;

Schleppegrell, 2004). In addition, successful student essays employ a wide variety and

number of textual themes (Schleppegrell, 2004; Vande Kopple, 1991), which make the

connections between sentences explicit and also help organize a text through multiple-

rheme patterning. On the other hand, low scoring papers frequently overuse unmarked

themes of simple nominal groups or pronouns (Christie & Dreyfus, 2007; Schleppegrell,

2004) and tend to use theme reiteration in a way that makes the text difficult to follow

and appear to lack development (Christie & Dreyfus, 2007; Schleppegrell, 2004; Vande

Kopple, 1991; Wang, 2007).

This study contributes to the body of research in this area by confirming certain

theme-rheme patterns of successful and unsuccessful undergraduate writing through both

qualitative and quantitative analysis. Based on the results, it can be concluded that the

theme-rheme framework is a useful tool for identifying coherence difficulties in ESL

student writing. These findings have implications for ESL writing instruction. Previous

71

studies have discussed the potential of the theme-rheme framework to help students with

their writing and this study presents teaching materials based on the grammar of theme-

rheme which can be incorporated into an ESL writing curriculum. The lesson is designed

to raise students‘ meta-awareness of coherence and teach theme-rheme as a tool to

improve the text flow and coherence of their writing. Though the lesson is tailored for a

particular undergraduate ESL academic writing course, the lesson can serve as a model of

how to incorporate theme-rheme instruction into any ESL writing classroom.

While this study has useful results and implications for ESL instruction, there are

several limitations. First, the study was limited in size and scope. An analysis of a larger

sample of student writing would have strengthened the findings and potentially yielded

additional results. Another limitation is that the theme-rheme framework may not capture

all of the elements of text coherence. According to Lee (2000, 2002), six factors

characterize coherence, of which theme-rheme patterns are only one element. Despite this

limitation, the study‘s analysis of student texts suggests that the effective use of theme-

rheme can help students improve the coherence of their writing and the teaching

materials in Chapter 5 offer a model of how this grammar can be taught to students.

This study has attempted to add to the research base of theme-rheme pedagogy,

but more research and attention is needed to examine the potential benefits of theme-

rheme as a tool in the ESL classroom. First, future studies can compare more student

texts and also compare the theme and rheme choices across different genres expected of

students in undergraduate courses. Secondly, future research can study the effects of

theme-rheme instruction with pre- and post-writing to examine whether this particular

type of instruction improves the coherence of student writing. Cheng (2008) and Ho

(2009) have conducted similar studies to investigate the effectiveness of genre-based

pedagogies informed by SFL, but to my knowledge no studies have focused solely on the

effectiveness of theme-rheme instruction.

To conclude, there are many important attributes of successful

undergraduate writing but coherence is one of the most fundamental. When a student

produces a text difficult for a reader to follow, the success of their writing is undermined

regardless of the merit of their ideas and other positive elements of their writing.

Sentence- and word-level grammatical errors can detract from a text‘s coherence, but

72

discourse-level errors also weaken the readability of a text. However, making these

discourse-level problems explicit to students has been problematic for teachers. SFL, and

in particular the theme-rheme framework, can be used by both teachers and learners to

identify discourse level errors. The theme-rheme framework provides students with a

grammatical resource to make conscious theme and rheme choices that improve the

coherence of their texts by making the connections between ideas clear, allowing for

topic development, and giving sentences a clear focus. Overall, SFL and the theme-rheme

system provide ESL students with the language resources to produce the type of writing

that allows them to be successful in their academic communities.

73

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76

APPENDIX A

ESSAY PROMPT

77

RWS 281 - - Academic Reading and Writing

Texts: Gregory Stock, ―Choosing Our Genes‖

Paper #1 - Evaluating an argument: this paper is a minimum of three pages.

Part One:

Explain the rhetorical context, including who the author is and his point of view, as well as

the intended audience as you infer it from clues outside and inside the text. Describe what

you see as the claim and reason. Comment on the organization, referring to groups of

paragraphs and the role they play in the argument. Be specific and refer to actual passages.

Part Two: Evaluate the argument. How effective might it have been for its target audience? Focus

on the text of the argument, but discuss its strengths and weaknesses. Your point is not

simply to agree or disagree with the author; instead, show your understanding of the qualities

of mature reasoners (see pages 11-14).

Four Criteria for Mature Reasoning:

Mature reasoners are well informed

Mature reasoners are self-critical and open to constructive criticism

Mature reasoners argue with their audiences or readers in mind

Mature reasoners know their arguments‘ contexts

Successful essays will:

Have a well developed section on ―rhetorical context‖;

Have a description of the intended audience that goes beyond a superficial statement;

Explain the claim and reason;

Detail the text‘s organization and speculate on why the author used that organization;

Use the criteria for mature reasoning to evaluate the text‘s effectiveness for its

intended audience.

78

APPENDIX B

SCORING CHART

79

Excellent (5) Good (5/4) Satisfactory (4/3) Inadequate (3/2) Failing (2/1)

Thesis: A controlling

idea responding to the

assignment and

developed in a

thoughtful and

creative manner.

Thesis answers

question and shows

genuine involvement

with material.

A controlling idea

which responds to the

assignment in a

multi-paragraph, if

formulaic, paper.

The controlling idea

is too general or too

narrow. Thesis

promises one paper,

body delivers

another.

The controlling

idea is unclear or

doesn‘t answer

the question.

Organization:

Overall structure and

paragraph

organization are

particularly effective

or subtle and organic.

Overall structure is

clear. Thought

process easy to

follow. Paragraph

information is well

ordered and detailed.

Overall structure is

clear. Paragraph

order and content

connect to thesis.

Paragraph

information is well

ordered and detailed.

Weak organization

due to unclear order

of paragraphs or off-

topic information.

Paragraphs are overly

general or

incoherently ordered

Weak or little

evident

organization.

Paragraphs are

either

underdeveloped or

long and

meandering.

Content: Paper

shows sophisticated

understanding of the

material and careful

thought in

development and

choice of support.

Strong analysis in

well-developed

paragraphs, based on

assigned readings.

Examples are well

chosen to illustrate

argument.

Competent analysis

with good examples,

illustrating a

satisfactory

understanding of the

assigned reading.

Inadequate paragraph

development with

inaccurate or minimal

use of information in

assigned reading.

Use of

information is

insufficient,

inaccurate or

illogical; or,

writing is simply a

series of

disconnected

summaries.

Transitions:

Transitions signal

changes in thought

process throughout

text. Use of

metalanguage.

Transitions provide

coherence between

ideas in paragraphs

and sentences. Use of

metalanguage.

Adequate use of

transitions to signal

changes in thought

process between

paragraphs and some

sentences.

Minimal or

inappropriate use of

transitions.

Relationships

between ideas left up

to the reader.

Frequently

lacking

transitions.

Transitions are

elementary,

jarring, or

inappropriate.

Intro/Conclusion:

Informative and

interesting intro that

fits the topic.

Conclusion crucial to

paper‘s impact.

Informative intro.

Conclusion

appropriate for paper.

Possible intro/concl

tie-in.

Introduction is

appropriate.

Conclusion ends

paper somewhat

mechanically.

Intro is abrupt and

uninformative.

Conclusion either

abrupt or out of

synch with the rest of

the paper.

Either little or no

introduction or

conclusion OR

one or the other is

off topic. Intro or

concl detract from

paper.

Sentence Control:

Sentences are

information dense,

and varied in both

length and structure.

Appropriate for

audience.

Sophisticated, varied

and interesting.

Includes appositives,

parallel structure, and

effective use of

active/passive voices.

Complete sentences

with frequent use of

subordination,

coordination, and

parallel structure.

Too many simple

sentences; run-ons,

fragments, comma-

splices; repetitive

sentences; unclear

order of words;

inaccurate pronouns.

Many simple or

incoherent

sentences.

Diction: Mature and

consistently effective

word choice and tone.

Mature and

consistently effective

word choice and

tone.

Appropriate choice of

words and

expressions,

especially vocabulary

of the course and the

text.

Inaccurate use of

words. Repetitive use

of words. Use of

words that are overly

general.

Frequent misuse

of common words

and phrases.

Mechanical Issues:

Virtually no

grammar,

punctuation, or

mechanics errors.

Infrequent grammar

and mechanics errors.

Some, but not many,

grammar and

mechanics errors.

Frequent and varied

errors cause

confusion and

interfere with

reader‘s

understanding.

Many major

grammar,

punctuation, and

mechanics errors.

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APPENDIX C

THEME-RHEME TEACHING MATERIALS

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THEME-RHEME LESSON

Part 1. Warm-up

The two paragraphs below were written by two RWS students. In both paragraphs, the

students are evaluating Stock’s article for whether he knows the argument’s context.

Compare the two texts and answer the questions that follow. Discuss your answers with

another student.

Student 1

Stock also shows that he has knowledge of his argument‘s context by sharing his expertise in

genetic engineering with the readers. His credentials speak for his years of dedication in genetic

sciences, which include his position as the director of the Program on Medicine, Technology, and

Society at UCLA and being widely recognized as one of the prominent speakers for genetic evolution

(Speakers Platform Keynote Speakers Bureau). Since Stock advocates that genetic engineering

would only improve humans‘ lives, he believes it is only logical to promote its development rather

than impede it. He also shares his knowledge and expertise about genetic engineering and the

increased progress of scientists‘ work worldwide, which the United States should also be a part of

(Stock 666). Hence, his credentials and knowledge in genetic engineering substantially support his

claim and refutations.

Student 2

Stock is well aware of genetic engineering technology and he knows that this technology will

be used to treat illnesses. He is very knowledgeable about how genetic engineering will have better

progress in the near future. He gives a lot of examples of the progress of genetic engineering

technology and supports the new progress. However, he does not mention how research of genetic

engineering technology is supported. He assures the reader that genetic engineering technology will

treat illnesses that human beings suffer from.

Questions:

1. Which text do you think is easier to understand and why?

2. How does Student 1 begin his or her sentences? Student 2? How do they differ?

3. In which text are the connections between the sentences clearer? Give an example.

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Teacher’s Guide: The purpose of this activity is to draw students‘ attention to how theme

choices can affect the coherence of the text before introducing the terms theme and rheme.

Read the directions aloud to the students. Then, have the students read the text and answer

the questions in pairs or small groups.

Answer Key: (answers can vary)

1. Student 1‘s text is more successful. One idea follows the other and the text flows

smoothly.

In Student 2‘s text, ideas are not developed and ideas are not clearly connected. For example,

Student 2 argues that Stock does not explain how ―research of genetic engineering is

supported.‖ However, the following sentence does not clearly explain how this is the case.

Also, in Student 2‘s text there is no clear topic sentence at the beginning of the paragraph in

contrast to Student 1‘s text.

2. Student 2 begins each sentence with ―Stock‖ or ―he‖(except for one case when the student

uses ―however‖). This makes the text appear monotonous and lacking in development.

Student 1 begins each sentence differently. However, the way each sentence begins is not

random; they link to previous ideas in the paragraph. For example, in the last sentence

Student 1 makes reference to what he or she had discussed previously in the paragraph (―his

credentials and knowledge in genetic engineering‖).

3. The connections between sentences are more obvious in Student 1‘s text. For example, in

the first sentence the writer mentions Stock‘s ―expertise‖ which is expanded on in the second

sentence (―His credentials speak for his years of dedication in genetic sciences…‖).

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Part 2. Introduction to coherence and theme-rheme

The success of an essay or paper can depend on different factors, such as grammatical

accuracy and the validity or relevance of the content. Another very important factor is

whether the text can be easily understood, commonly referred to as coherence. Being aware

or conscious of how information is arranged and what is included or excluded can make your

paper or essay successful and clear to the reader. Charting the theme and rheme in texts can

help you arrange your ideas and information more effectively. Theme and rheme are

explained in the box below:

Theme & Rheme

The theme is the point of departure of a message and indicates what the sentence is going to be

about. The theme is usually the grammatical subject of the sentence, which may be a proper noun

(e.g. Gregory Stock), pronoun (e.g. He, She), or noun phrase (e.g. One of the reasons, Population

growth).

The rheme is everything that follows the theme. The rheme usually develops whatever is the theme.

Examples:

A mature reasoner is someone who argues with his or her audience in mind.

Theme Rheme

Rising unemployment rates have put a strain on the economy.

Theme Rheme

Sometimes, sentences do not begin with the grammatical subject of the sentence. The theme can be a

prepositional phrase, adverb of time, or subordinate clause.

In the beginning, all committee members gathered to discuss the issue.

Theme Rheme

According to a report in the New York Times, Apple is developing a smaller and cheaper iPhone.

Theme Rheme

Yesterday a decision was finally made.

Theme Rheme

Although studies have proven that smoking causes cancer, many people continue to smoke.

Theme Rheme

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Themes Types

Sentence can also begin with transition words, such as For example, To sum up, Moreover, to make

a connection to the previous sentence. These are called textual themes. The themes discussed

previously—the grammatical subject, prepositional phrases, adverbs, and subordinate clauses—are

called ideational themes.

Example:


The government has enacted strict gun laws.

Nevertheless, it continues to be very easy for people to purchase firearms.

Sentences may also have interpersonal themes though they are not as common in academic

writing.

Interpersonal themes express the writer‘s attitude and can include Personally, In my opinion,

(Un)fortunately.

Example:

Interpersonal Theme Ideational Theme Rheme

Unfortunately, the United States has rejected the Kyoto Protocol despite the fact

they are one of the biggest producers of

greenhouse gases.

*All sentences must have an ideational theme, while textual and interpersonal themes are optional.

Teacher’s Guide: Read the introduction to part 2 aloud to the class. Emphasize the

importance of coherence in a text. Explain to students that one method of analyzing the

coherence of a text is to look at theme and rheme. Review the grammar box with the

students, explaining each term and the examples which follow.

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Part 3. Identifying theme and rheme

Identify the theme and rheme in the sentences below by underlining the theme. Also,

determine whether the themes are ideational, textual, or interpersonal.

1. Martin Luther King was an influential civil right‘s advocate and inspirational speaker.

2. The article first explains the problem and then offers a solution.

3. Moreover, the World Health Organization has conducted extensive studies on the subject

of media violence.

4. Throughout the article, Rhodes provides statistical evidence to support his claims.

5. Fortunately, people are starting to realize the damage being done to the environment.

6. The evidence Rhodes provides to support his claim strengthens his claim.

7. Although the author is well-informed, he is not self-critical.

8. Since 2008, the unemployment rate has been rising.

Teacher’s Guide: The purpose of this activity is for students to practice identifying the

various types of themes and rhemes.

Read the instructions aloud to the class. Model the first item with the class. After students

complete the activity, they should compare their answers with another student. Then, review

the answers with the class.

Answer Key:

ID=Ideational, TX = Textual, IN = Interpersonal

1. Martin Luther King (ID) was an influential civil right‘s advocate and inspirational speaker.

2. The article (ID) first explains the problem and then offers a solution.

3. Moreover, (TX) the World Health Organization (ID) has conducted extensive studies on

the subject of media violence.

4. Throughout the article, (ID) Rhodes provides statistical evidence to support his claims.

5. Fortunately, (IN) people (ID) are starting to realize the damage being done to the

environment.

6. The evidence Rhodes provides to support his claim (ID) strengthens his argument.

7. Although the author is well-informed, (ID) he is not self-critical.

8. Since 2008, (ID) the unemployment rate has been rising.

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Part 4. Comparing theme and rheme in student texts

Identify the themes and rhemes in the two student texts in Part 1. Make a note of which

themes are ideational, interpersonal, and textual. How do the theme and rheme choices make

one text more successful than the other?

Teacher’s Guide: The aim of this activity is for students to apply the knowledge they have

learned about theme and rheme to a genre they will be expected to produce. In addition,

asking students to compare a coherent and less coherent text will make them more aware of

what types of themes are valued in this genre.

Read the instructions out loud. Have students work in pairs or small groups. Highlight how

the theme choices in Student 1‘s paragraph are longer nominal groups, reflect more closely

the main idea of the paragraph, and connect ideas between sentences (see Discussion below).

Answer Key:

Theme-rheme analysis: Student 1

Stock (ID) also shows that he has knowledge of his argument‘s context by sharing his

expertise in genetic engineering with the readers. His credentials (ID) speak for his years of

dedication in genetic sciences, which include his position as the director of the Program on Medicine,

Technology, and Society at UCLA and being widely recognized as one of the prominent speakers

for genetic evolution (Speakers Platform Keynote Speakers Bureau). Since Stock advocates that

genetic engineering would only improve humans’ lives, (ID) he believes it is only logical to

promote its development rather than impede it. He (ID) also shares his knowledge and expertise

about genetic engineering and the increased progress of scientists‘ work worldwide, which the United

States should also be a part of (Stock 666). Hence, (TX) his credentials and knowledge in genetic

engineering (ID) substantially support his claim and refutations.

Student 2

Stock (ID) is well aware of genetic engineering technology and he knows that this technology

will be used to treat illnesses. He (ID) is very knowledgeable about how genetic engineering will have

better progress in the near future. He (ID) gives a lot of examples of the progress of genetic

engineering technology and supports the new progress. However, (TX) he (ID) does not mention how

research of genetic engineering technology is supported. He (ID) assures the reader that genetic

engineering technology will treat illnesses that human beings suffer from.

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Discussion:

Student 2 uses the same ideational theme (Stock & he) repeatedly. There is one

textual theme (However) to transition from discussing his strengths to his weaknesses.

In contrast, Student 1‘s themes vary and are longer (Stock, his credentials, Since

Stock advocates…, he, his credentials and knowledge…).

Looking at the ideational themes, it is clear that the writer wants to discuss Stock‘s

knowledge, beliefs, and expertise. On the other hand, Student 2 does not make the

focus obvious enough given that every theme is Stock or he.

Another difference between the two texts is that the themes in Student 2‘s text

connect ideas between sentences (see words in bold and the arrows).

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Part 5. Scrambled Themes

Below is an excerpt of Gregory Stock’s article “Choosing Our Genes” in which the theme of

each sentence has been omitted. Your instructor will provide you with the original themes in

random order. Using the rhemes as a guide, place the themes in the appropriate boxes in the

chart. Underline the key words in the themes and/or rhemes that helped you decide the order.

Be prepared to explain how you chose where to place the themes.

Theme Rheme

¶ refers to a whole realm of technologies by which

parents influence the genetic constitutions of their

children at the time of their conception.

would be to correct genes.

is not a particularly radical departure, since it would

have exactly the same effect as could be

accomplished by screening multiple embryos and

picking one with the desired genes.

is being done now in preimplantation genetic

diagnosis.

has been in use for more than a decade, but what can

be tested for is going to become increasingly

sophisticated in the next five to 10 years.

the kinds of decisions that parents can make will

become much more complex.

¶

will be germline interventions-alterations to the egg,

sperm, or more likely the first cell of an embryo.

are being done already in animal systems, but using

approaches that don't have the safety or reliability

that would be required in human beings.

Themes: (cut into strips)

Germinal Choice Technology The simplest such

intervention

It In fact, such embryo screening

Such technology And as these technologies

mature,

Farther into

the future

These procedures

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Teacher’s Guide: The aim of this activity is to give students exposure to the theme and

rheme structures in an authentic text. Also, the scramble activity should help students

understand the reasons for using the various kinds of themes, and how clauses fit together in

a text in a particular context.

Read the instructions aloud to the students. Explain that they should decide where the themes

belong in the text. Elicit responses from the students as to how they decided where the

themes belong. Highlight any key words that indicate where the themes belong and

contribute to the coherence and cohesion of the text (see bold). Also, ask students what the

pronouns or any other reference words refer to. To make the activity more difficult, the

rhemes could also be scrambled. The paragraph symbols (¶) in the chart indicate the

beginning of a new paragraph.

Answer Key:

Germinal choice technology refers to a whole realm of technologies by which

parents influence the genetic constitutions of their children at the time of their

conception. The simplest such intervention would be to correct genes. It is not a particularly

radical departure, since it would have exactly the same effect as could be accomplished by

screening multiple embryos and picking one with the desired genes. In fact, such

embryo screening is being done now in preimplantation genetic diagnosis. Such technology

has been in use for more than a decade, but what can be tested for is going to become

increasingly sophisticated in the next five to 10 years. And as these technologies mature,

the kinds of decisions that parents can make will become much more complex.

Farther into the future will be germline interventions-alterations to the egg,

sperm, or more likely the first cell of an embryo. These procedures are being done already in

animal systems, but using approaches that don't have the safety or reliability that would be

required in human beings.

Notes: The author develops the text by connecting ideas between themes and rhemes. For

example, in sentence 3 ―screening multiple embryos and picking one with desired genes‖ is

incorporated into the following theme ―such embryo screening.‖ Stock uses the words ―such‖

and ―these‖ to make connections to previous theme and rhemes. These patterns allow the

connections between sentences to be visible and obvious. This also occurs between

paragraphs. Stock ends paragraph 3 by making predictions on the progress of these

technologies in ―the next five to 10 years‖ and then begins paragraph 4 indicating what he

thinks will happen ―farther into the future.‖ This makes the text organized and easy for the

reader to follow.

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Part 6. Introduction to theme-rheme patterns

As seen in the previous activities, the organization of themes and rhemes in a text can make a

text more or less successful. There are three types of theme-rheme patterns that appear across

multiple sentences and paragraphs.

Theme-rheme patterns:

1. Theme reiteration

Theme reiteration occurs when the same theme appears repeatedly in a text. This pattern can make a

text difficult for the reader to follow because every sentence begins the same way. Theme reiteration

may give the impression that the topic lacks development because each sentence begins the same

way.

Example:

In his article, “Choosing Our Genes,” Stock claims that genetic engineering will improve the health

of children so it should not be banned. He believes we will have the technology to change humans

genetically. He thinks we will use this science. He thinks we should look toward the future and make

decisions about how this knowledge should be used. Stock contends that technological advances will

allow scientists to identify, isolate, and modify our genes.

2. Zig-zag pattern

A text uses the zig-zag pattern when information in a preceding rheme appears in the following

theme. Academic texts often use this pattern to connect ideas between sentences and paragraphs and

to develop ideas. Notice that the information in the themes contain somewhat long and complex noun

phrases, which appear frequently in academic writing.

Examples:

An author who has his or her audience in mind makes an effort to connect with different people and

different points of view (14). Readers who do not agree on Stock’s point of view may feel that the

article is not convincing because their questions failed to be addressed.

¶3 This kind of structure allows the readers to follow the content relatively easily without getting

lost in the middle.

¶4 The reader-friendly structure also attracts more audiences.

3. Multiple-rheme pattern

The multiple-rheme pattern occurs when the rheme (or sometimes theme) of one clause introduces a

number of different pieces of information, each of which is made theme in later clauses in a

paragraph or an entire text.

Example:

Aside from the weaknesses of Stock’s article, he also portrays strengths that made his argument

strong. One of his strengths is his authority figure as a scientist, professor, and an expert in genetic

engineering that explains and justifies technical scientific terms to the readers. In addition, his vast

knowledge in this field supported his refutations to the opposing view and helped convince his

readers.

*Old & New Information

In texts, the theme is often old information which is familiar to the reader. The rheme is usually new

information that develops the old information in the theme. Keeping this in mind can help you write

essays that flow well and are easy for the reader to understand.

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Teacher’s Guide: Read the introduction to part 6 aloud to the class. Emphasize the

importance of how the organization of themes and rhemes in larger bodies of text can affect

the coherence of a text. Explain to students that there are patterns of theme-rheme

organization which are more valued in academic writing. Review the grammar box with the

students, explaining each pattern and the examples which follow. When discussing old and

new information, the instructor may use the examples under ―zig-zag pattern‖ and ―multiple-

rheme pattern‖ to help students understand the concept.

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Part 7. Identifying theme-rheme patterns

Which theme pattern do texts 1-3 display? Explain how the theme patterns make the texts

more or less coherent. Compare your answers with your partner.

1. The Futurist is a journal targeting such readers who are concerned about issues people will

face in the future. These issues are various, ranging from environmental problems to ethical

and social subjects.

2. Stock did a good job of supporting his claim that we should not ban genetic engineering.

He appeals to our emotions by explaining that genetic engineering might prevent unborn

babies from having incurable hereditary diseases, such as cystic fibrosis. He argues from

logical statistics to show that genes determine how likely it is a person will have a disease.

3. In his article, Stock gives two reasons to support his claim. First, he suggests that genetic

engineering will prevent diseases…. Second, he also suggests that genetic engineering will

enhance the ―physical or mental well-being of children‖ (664).

Teacher’s Guide

The purpose of activity 7 is for students to practice identifying the various types of theme-

rheme patterns.

Read the instructions aloud to the class. Then, ask students to compare their answers with

another student and discuss how the patterns make the texts more or less coherent.

Answer Key:

1. Zig-zag pattern

2. Theme reiteration

3. Multiple-rheme pattern

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Part 8. Theme-rheme analysis of student model essay

Do a theme-rheme analysis of sections of a student model essay. Underline the themes and

identify any of the three theme-rheme patterns. Be prepared to explain how the theme-

rheme structure contributes to the development of ideas and text flow. Also, underline key

words in the theme and rheme that contribute to the text organization. The teacher will assign

a section of the essay for your group to analyze.

Rhetorical Analysis of “Hollow Claims about Fantasy Violence”

Part One

―Hollow Claims about Fantasy Violence‖ was written by Richard Rhodes, on

September 17, 2000, in The New York Times. Rhodes is an American journalist, historian,

and author of fiction and non-fiction books, articles, and essays. He graduated from Yale

University and has won awards for his work, The Making of the Atomic Bomb. He also wrote

a book called Why They Kill, in which he gives interviews with convicted murderers.

In ―Hollow Claims,‖ Rhodes questions both sides of the issue of media violence and

its affect on children. For example, Rhodes asks, ―But is there really a link between

entertainment and violent behavior?‖ (185). Then he tells how some researchers think it is

true that entertainment does cause violent behavior: ―The American Medical Association, the

American Psychological Association, the American Academy of Pediatrics and the National

Institute of Mental Health all say yes‖ (185). However, he also gives the alternate viewpoint

and says, ―In fact, no direct, causal link between exposure to mock violence in the media and

subsequent violent behavior has ever been demonstrated‖ (185). He gives both viewpoints on

the issue, but he agrees that media violence does not cause violent behavior in children. Mr.

Rhodes claims, ―But violence isn‘t learned from mock violence. There is good evidence--

causal evidence, not correlational--that it‘s learned in personal violent encounters, beginning

with the brutalization of children by their parents or their peers‖ (185). Kids do not learn

violence from entertainment; they learn violence from personal experience.

Mr. Rhodes audience is The New York Times readers. According to The New York

Times, they have a readership of 1.7 million across the United States and their readers are

people whose annual median income is $140,000; 76% of their readership has college

degrees. Rhodes audience may also be people who are cynical about politicians. He says,

―politicians can‘t resist blaming the media for violence‖ because politicians know that the

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First Amendment won‘t be amended to stop media from broadcasting violence. Hence,

politicians won‘t ever have to do anything about childhood violence because they can use the

media as an excuse. He also says that if politicians can blame the media, they won‘t have to

restrict gun use in the United States (187). Rhodes‘ audience would be people who agree

with his idea of politicians because he does not offer any evidence to prove that politicians

might act this way; in other words, he assumes that everyone knows politicians act this way.

Paragraphs one and two introduce the topic of entertainment and violence in our

society and question whether entertainment really is the cause of childhood violence.

Paragraphs three to eleven present research studies and evidence showing both sides of the

argument over media violence and childhood violence. Showing research from opposing

viewpoints helps the reader to understand the issue and to see that the research often

contradicts itself. When Rhodes finally indicates that even after all this research, we don‘t

have a good idea if media violence causes childhood violence, the reader is ready to stop

spending money on research, as he suggests.

Part Two

Richard Rhodes is a mature reasoner because he argues with his audience and readers

in mind. For example at the beginning of his essay, he presents the reader with a question. It

seems like he is trying to find an answer to the question, just like the reader would like to

find an answer to the question. Since his audience is New York Times readers, they are

probably looking into their newspapers to help them answer questions, so this

question/answer format is something they would be familiar with.

Rhodes also is well informed about his topic. He gives us evidence for both sides of

the argument. In fact, the majority of his editorial is a description of various research projects

done on the effect of media violence on children. The studies are from well known

universities and organizations, so it seems that Rhodes has done a lot of investigating to find

out whether media violence is connected to childhood violence.

After reading the argument, though, it is easy to tell that Rhodes doesn‘t think there is

a connection and we are wasting our money on research. Even though Rhodes seems well

informed, he does not seem like he is open to alternative points of view. He provides the

research information in such a way that each report is contradicted by the next report. His

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purpose in giving the research information is not to educate, but to show that the money we

spend on research is a waste. Therefore, Rhodes doesn‘t fulfill the mature reasoner criteria of

―open to constructive criticism.‖ He clearly believes that childhood violence is learned only

from personal experience and he does not seem to be open to giving credit to alternative

viewpoints.

Rhodes does meet the mature reasoner criteria of ―knowing his argument‘s context.‖

He is able to discuss violence at various times in history and in various places around the

world. In fact, his best argument is when he explains about the Middle Ages. He says,

History alone should call such a link into question. Private violence has been

declining in the West since the media-barren late Middle Ages, when homicide

rates are estimated to have been 10 times what they are […] today. (185)

This evidence (there are violent times in our history that we cannot blame on the media)

seems like common sense, and he would not have included it if he did not know some history

about the topic.

Overall, Rhodes‘ argument does a good job of showing how research is not solving

the problem of childhood violence. His argument would be stronger if he included more

evidence to show that children learn violence from personal experience. He assumes that his

readers will agree with this statement. Because he does not offer evidence that children learn

violence from experience, it isn‘t obvious that the research money he believes is ―wasted‖

should be spent on mental health centers and emergency room records of child abuse. He

would have had a more persuasive argument if he had spent more time preparing the reader

to accept his assumption that violence is learned from experience. However, he meets many

of the ―mature reasoner criteria‖ and his argument would be easy to understand and agree

with if the reader already believes that media violence and childhood violence are

unconnected.

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Teacher’s Guide

The purpose of the activity is for students to be exposed to theme and rheme structures in the

genre they are expected to produce.

Before students are divided into groups, analyze the theme and rheme patterns in the first

paragraph as a whole class activity. Highlight how information flows in the text to make it

coherent.

Answer Key: (theme-rheme analysis of paragraph 1)

T-R = Theme reiteration, Z-Z = Zig-zag pattern, M-R = Multiple-rheme pattern

―Hollow Claims about Fantasy Violence‖ was written by Richard Rhodes, on

September 17, 2000, in The New York Times. (Z-Z) Rhodes is an American journalist,

historian, and author of fiction and non-fiction books, articles, and essays. (T-R) He

graduated from Yale University and has won awards for his work, The Making of the Atomic

Bomb. (T-R) He also wrote a book called Why They Kill, in which he gives interviews with

convicted murderers.

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Part 9. Charting theme-rheme as peer review

Exchange the first draft of your essay on Gregory Stock with your partner. First choose one

paragraph you feel needs revision. Your partner will chart the theme and rhemes of that

paragraph and identify theme patterns (T-R = Theme reiteration, Z-Z = Zig-zag pattern, M-R

= Multiple-rheme pattern). Then, your partner will write a short paragraph offering

suggestions on how some changes to your theme and rheme structure can improve the text.

You will do the same for your partner‘s text.

Paragraph # _____

Interpersonal

Theme

Textual

Theme


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Teacher’s Guide: The purpose of the peer review is to apply the theme-rheme framework to

improve the coherence of the students‘ writing.

Read the instructions aloud to the class. Pair up students and give them time in class to

complete the activity. Alternatively, the assignment can be done for homework. In order to

hold students accountable for their peer reviews, the teacher should read and respond to the

peer responses and then a photocopy can be made to be given to the peer reviewer. Also, you

may want to assign grades on the peer responses to ensure the activity is taken seriously. As a

follow-up, ask the students to write a short paragraphing explaining what suggestions from

the peer review were incorporated into the final draft of their essays. This will help students

to think critically about the responses they have received from their classmates.

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Part 10. Applying theme-rheme in individual texts

Do a theme-rheme analysis of the first draft of your essay. Underline the themes and identify

what type of theme it is (textual, interpersonal, or ideational). In addition, identify the theme-

rheme patterns you used (T-R = Theme reiteration, Z-Z = Zig-zag pattern, M-R = Multiple-

rheme pattern). Write a paragraph explaining the strengths of your theme-rheme choices and

also the weaknesses. Make suggestions for improvement. Attach the paragraph to your draft.

Teacher’s Guide: This activity can be done for the second writing assignment. At this point,

given that the students have been introduced to the theme-rheme framework and have

analyzed other texts, they will be better prepared to analyze their own theme and rheme

choices.

Read the instructions aloud to the class. If necessary, show students an example of how to do

the analysis and an example of a paragraph explaining the strengths and weaknesses of a text.

Assign the activity for homework.

Read the students‘ analyses and paragraphs and make any further suggestions they may have

overlooked.

Documents

Coherence in English as a Second Language