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Chapter 4Chapter 4
Revise (Complete)Revise (Complete)
NEU School of Business & Administration 2/Chapter 3
• Why do you think revising is Why do you think revising is important?important?
– Revising your writing transforms your unfinished draft into an effective letter that gets results.
– Revising is so important that you often need to revise your writing several times.
– This is the longest stage in Writing Process.
NEU School of Business & Administration 3/Chapter 3
Dear Ms. Green
PPS
I refer to your recent communication, and for your information please be advised that the PPS details and application form were sent to you at an earlier date.
I look forward to hearing from you
Yours sincerelyClever ManManager Smart Branch
Questions: ①What is the letter about?
Not clear - it could be about something (PPS?) that the writer has sent
Also not clear.
③If you were Ms. Green, what would you do after reading the letter?
② What does the writer want Ms. Green to do?
NEU School of Business & Administration 4/Chapter 3
The writer may need to send another letter.
The letter does not get the intended results.
NEU School of Business & Administration 5/Chapter 3
• How can you revise your writing?How can you revise your writing?
– The strategy is very easy to remember.
– It's based on the "5 Cs".
NEU School of Business & Administration 6/Chapter 3
• Strategy for Revising: Strategy for Revising:
Complete
Cohesive
Clear
Concise
Courteous
NEU School of Business & Administration 7/Chapter 3
• The strategy is systematicsystematic.
– Start revising the whole document
– Move on to smaller parts such as paragraphs and sentences.
Whole document is complete.
Paragraphs are cohesive. Sentences are concise, courteous and clear.
NEU School of Business & Administration 8/Chapter 3
• Being Complete: Why Do It
What does a complete document contain?
1) all that the reader needs to know
2) only what the reader needs to know
NEU School of Business & Administration 9/Chapter 3
• Being Complete: How To Do It
How do you know that your letter is complete?
NEU School of Business & Administration 10/Chapter 3
1) Begin by looking at the structure of the letterthe structure of the letter.
– A business letter contains 5 parts. The proper arrangement is
S-O-F-A-R.
Salutation
Opening
Facts
Action
Remark
NEU School of Business & Administration 11/Chapter 3
Dear Ms Green
PPS
I refer to your recent communication, and for your information please be advised that the PPS details and application form were sent to you at an earlier date. I look forward to hearing from you.
Yours sincerely Clever Man
NEU School of Business & Administration 12/Chapter 3
Which part is missing from the letter?
– A (for Action) is missing.
– The writer did not include the reader's response.
– That's why the reader will not know what to do after reading the letter.
NEU School of Business & Administration 13/Chapter 3
2) Check the contents by comparing the contents with the plan.
the writer's purpose the reader's response all and onlyall and only the information the reader needs.
NEU School of Business & Administration 14/Chapter 3
The writer has stated his purpose: he is "advising" the reader.
The writer has also given the reader some information: the "PPS details and application form were sent".
But the writer does not tell the reader what to do. So, the reader's responsethe reader's response is missing.
NEU School of Business & Administration 15/Chapter 3
The reader had to phone Clever Man to find out what she should do.He told her to fill out the form and return the application form to him.
NEU School of Business & Administration 16/Chapter 3
Dear Ms Green
PPS
I refer to your recent communication, and for your information please be advised that the PPS details and application form were sent to you at an earlier date. If you complete and return the form to us, we can process your application immediately. I look forward to hearing from you.
Yours sincerely Clever Man
NEU School of Business & Administration 17/Chapter 3
Summary
You learned the strategies for drafting, i.e, keeping writing and doing not edit.
Check it later.
draftKeep writing
Don’t edit
NEU School of Business & Administration 18/Chapter 3
• When you finished drafting, you started the fourth stage: Revise. Revising your documents will ensure that you get results. However, it takes time to revise because you need to do it 5 times. You need to check each of the "5 Cs".
In this chapter, you focused on revising your document to make it complete (the first "C").
NEU School of Business & Administration 19/Chapter 3
• To check that your letter is complete,
1) checking the structure as you identify the five parts of a letter (S-O-F-A-R)
2) checking the content of your draft as you identify the basic parts of your writing plan (writer's purpose, reader's response, reader's information)
NEU School of Business & Administration 20/Chapter 3
• SUMMARY EXERCISE 1 Each question has four possible answers. However, only one answer is correct. Click on the correct answer for each question.
• 1. When you draft, A. only write, don't edit B. write and edit C. write and correct grammar D. write and correct spelling
NEU School of Business & Administration 21/Chapter 3
• 2. Make sure your document is A. cohesive B. clear C. concise D. complete
• 3. Check that your paragraphs are A. complete B. clear C. cohesive D. concise
NEU School of Business & Administration 22/Chapter 3
• 4. Make sure that your sentences are A. complete and cohesive B. concise C. clear, concise and courteous D. complete, cohesive and clear
NEU School of Business & Administration 23/Chapter 3
• SUMMARY EXERCISE 2: LETTER TO MR PERRY – Practise revising a letter to make it complete. – You'll need the letter which you drafted to Mr.
Perry earlier.
NEU School of Business & Administration 24/Chapter 3