Chapter 17Emotional and Social Development from 7 to 12

Chapter Objectives

Identify 4 ways to help ease emotional upsetsExplain how children control and express their

anger in socially acceptable waysList 6 ways to help a child develop a sense of

competenceSummarize the 4 main qualities children look for

in friendshipsIdentify typical changes that occur in children’s

attitudes toward their parentsDescribe 5 ways to help children prepare to make

good moral choices

Chapter 17.1Emotional Development from 7 to 12

Emotional Changes

There is nothing unusual about going through an emotional shift or change◦Children at this age can feel as if they are on

an emotional rollercoaster Children between the ages of 7 and 12 will

generally progress from negative to positive or unhappy to happy

Gain independence and self-confidence

Emotional Changes

7 and 8 Year Olds 9 and 10 Year Olds

7-year olds are typically:◦ Withdrawn◦ Stay close to home◦ Worry a lot ◦ May not want to talk about

their feelings 8-year olds are:

◦ More positive◦ Explore and are curious◦ Enjoy time with friends◦ Dramatic◦ Active

9-year olds are:◦ Self-absorbed◦ Harsh about their own failings

and even embarrassed◦ Can keep feelings hidden

10-year olds are:◦ More positive and happy◦ Growing sense of self and

increased feelings of competence

◦ More time with friends◦ Make new friends by joining

sports teams or clubs

The Preteen Years

Read the 2 paragraphs on the screenSummarize the section in 1 sentenceGet in groups of 2 and discuss what

should be the appropriate summarizing sentence

Share with the classWrite down summarizing sentence HERE

in your notes

Living with Children 7 to 12

Hormones released into the body during puberty can cause emotional changes

Preteens may start feeling the mood swings that are associated with teenagers

Tips to keep minor emotional upsets from becoming major problems:◦Be patient◦Avoid taking it personally◦Help the child maintain self-control◦Listen attentively

Specific Emotions

Anger Fear and Worry

When anger is shown during this stage, it usually passes quickly

Preteens are moody Most outbursts have little to do

with the cause of the outburst By age 7, children should know

how to express anger in social situations◦ Not lash out with violence or

words that hurt others◦ Seek compromises to settle

disagreements

By age 10, most fears from early childhood have disappeared

New worries form◦ News reports about

terrorism, fatal car accidents, natural disasters

◦ How others see them

Specific Emotions

Anxiety ASSINGMENT

Anxiety is a state of uncertainty and fear, often about an unspecified but seemingly immediate threat

Excessive anxiety can be a sign of an anxiety disorder

Preteens or teens with an anxiety disorder can develop can develop constant physical symptoms

Research one anxiety disorder to learn how it affects children and how it can be treated.

Type findings out and share in class.

Specific Emotions

Envy and Jealousy

As older children become more aware of the world around them, they are apt to develop feelings of envy and jealousy

Envy is the feeling of wanting something another person has

Jealousy is a complex emotion involving the fear that a loved one might◦ For example, a preteen that is trying to feel

comfortable talking to the opposite sex, might feel jealous of a peer who seems to be more at ease

A Sense of Self

Sense of self is your idea of who you are, based on your emotions, personality, and the ways you perceive the world

As children develop, they are able to think in more abstract terms

Children between the ages of 7 and 10 recognize they have a personality all their own◦See themselves as a mixture of qualities

Physical appearance, talents, or abilitiesThey see they behave different in certain

situations

Sense of Competence

Sense of competence is the feeling that one can be successful and meet most challenges◦ Children gain this feeling by acquiring and improving a wide range

of skills Erikson believed that as children refined their skills, they’ll

see themselves as competent and increase their self-esteem◦ How a child sees themselves can affect what choices they make in

life◦ He also believed those that constantly experience failure begin to

see themselves as inferior and incompetent Sound relationship with peers is important in developing

competence Ways to help a child foster sense of competence:

◦ Help focus on their strengths◦ Provide opportunities◦ Encourage learning◦ Establish reachable goals◦ Recognize success ◦ Focus on the positive

Sense of Gender

An important part of a child’s growing sense of self is gender identity ◦ Gender identity is the awareness of being male or female

Complex process that begins in early childhood and usually fixed by age 4◦ Gender identity begins at birth

Identity becomes stronger in middle childhood and early adolescence◦ Choose to spend time with the same sex, talk and look like the

same sex, interact with adults of the same sex as role models and begin to explore relationships with the opposite sex

Many influences on gender identity include:◦ Family, other adults, peers, and media

Children observe the behavior of people around them◦ Shows how one should act and react to things that fit their

gender

Chapter 17.2Social and Moral Development from 7 to 12

Discussion Starter

What is Moral Behavior?

What are some morals that you have?

Relationship with Peers

7 to 12 year olds have a sense of self ◦ They are able to form more personal friendships◦ Children develop qualities they look for in friends:

Loyalty Trustworthiness Kindness and understanding Fun

Children begin to spend more time talking with friends than just playing

Intellectual growth makes deeper friendships possible◦ Abstract thinking◦ Understand how others see them◦ See other’s point-of-view◦ Increase in empathy

Physical and emotional changes of puberty also play a key role in friendship◦ Curiosity about the changes they are going through◦ Figuring out how new aspects of relationships with people of the opposite

sex

Peer Groups

Acceptance by peers is closely related to high self-esteem◦More confident◦More likely to make and keep friends◦More likely to succeed at school

Feelings of rejection by peers may negatively affect performance at school and family relationships

Peer groups are numerous at this age◦Classmates◦Sport teammates◦Children who live in the same neighborhood

Children who experience rejection by their peers may need professional counseling to prevent lifelong difficulties

Making Friends

One reason preteens avoid opposite-gender friendships is that such friendships raise questions of being romantically involved◦Most 11 and 12 year olds are not ready to take that

step so they avoid the situation to avoid teasingNumber of friends at this stage varies

◦Some children “collect” friends as a way to ensure popularity

Another influence is the social environment◦Children in after-school programs have more

opportunities for making friends

Resolving Conflicts

The nature of friendship changes as children grow◦So does the nature of conflicts

Many conflicts among children arise from envy, jealousy, or gossip

Other conflicts may be based on emotional needs◦The need to belong is so strong◦Conflicts arise if they feel excluded from a group

or they think someone is showing them disrespect

Avoiding Violence

In general, children at this age use their words to express anger◦Those are children that received help to deal with

anger in having self-controlPreteen boys are more likely than girls to use

aggressive behavior to express angerGuidelines to help resolve conflict and avoid

violence:◦Set ground rules◦Listen to both sides◦Find common ground◦Reach a solution that is acceptable to both sides

What current topic is being portrayed in a movie and

discussed on the news right now?

Bullying

Bullying

Bullying means directing aggression or abuse toward another person

Takes many forms◦ Pushing, shoving or other physical abuse◦ Teasing◦ Spreading rumors◦ Making offensive comments

Boys are more likely to be bullies and be the victim of bullies

Causes physical and emotional pain for victims◦ Most children do not ask for help from an adult◦ Fear being bullied more for “tattling”

How to suspect a child being bullied

Comes home with cuts, bruises, or torn clothingFrequently loses lunch money or other valuablesDoes not want to go to schoolBecomes unusually moody, withdrawn, and bad temperedIs always anxious and has trouble sleeping

If you suspect a child is being bullied, ask them in a supportive way ◦ “What is your favorite activity at school?” and then ask “what is

your least favorite?”A child who is being bullied needs to be reassured it is not

their fault

Family Relationships

More changes among family dynamics during this stage◦Complex relationships between parents and

siblings are formedFamily situations vary greatly

◦1 or 2 parent household◦Main caregiver is someone else than a parent◦How much the parents work outside the home◦How many and the age of siblings

Family Relationships

Parents Siblings

7 Year Olds◦ Depend on parents, but

challenge authority 8 Year Olds

◦ Tend to cling to parents 9 Year Olds

◦ Wrapped up in their own thoughts and sometimes ignore parents

10 Year Olds◦ Smooth year

Happier and communicate better 11 and 12 Year Olds

◦ More independent from parents◦ Critical of parents values◦ Challenge parents

Often have difficult relationships with siblings who are closer to their own age◦ Judge each other more◦ Conflicts are common

Moral Development- Guidance

Parents, older adults, and older siblings can help prepare children to make the right moral choices in a number of ways:◦Set a good example◦Support the child’s growing conscience◦Talk about how to handle situations that might

occur◦Reinforce empathy◦Use the child’s sense of fairness

Moral Development- Peer Pressure

Peer pressure is a social group’s influence on the way individuals behave◦The desire to be accepted leads preteens to

adopt the words, behaviors, habits, and ideas of others in their social group

Conformity means being like one another◦They may dress alike, adopt similar hairstyles,

find other ways to show they belongGood or bad influence

◦Positive values are more likely to avoid drugs, alcohol, and other risky behaviors

Assignment

Imagine that the preteen you mentor has asked for your help. He wants to know

how he can use positive peer pressure to his advantage and resist negative peer pressure. Write a letter to him with your

answer.