Ch 10Ch 10

ListeningListening

Listening, not imitation, may be the sincerest Listening, not imitation, may be the sincerest form of flattery.form of flattery.

Joyce BrothersJoyce Brothers

Listening and CommunicationListening and Communication

Purposes and Payoffs of ListeningPurposes and Payoffs of Listening

LearningLearning

RelatingRelating

InfluencingInfluencing

PlayingPlaying

HelpingHelping

For discussionFor discussion

Listening is so simple, it is hard. Do you Listening is so simple, it is hard. Do you agree with this statement? Why or why agree with this statement? Why or why not? not?

Stages of Listening ProcessStages of Listening Process

ReceivingReceiving

UnderstandingUnderstanding

RememberingRemembering

EvaluatingEvaluating

RespondingResponding

Stages of Listening—Stages of Listening—ReceivingReceiving

Focus Attention on Speaker’s V & NVFocus Attention on Speaker’s V & NV

Avoid DistractionsAvoid Distractions

Focus on Speaker, Not What You’ll Say NextFocus on Speaker, Not What You’ll Say Next

Avoid InterruptingAvoid Interrupting

Stages of Listening—Stages of Listening—UnderstandingUnderstanding

Relate New Information to What You KnowRelate New Information to What You Know

See Speaker’s Point of ViewSee Speaker’s Point of View

Ask Questions for ClarificationAsk Questions for Clarification

Paraphrase Speaker’s IdeasParaphrase Speaker’s Ideas

Stages of Listening—Stages of Listening—RememberingRemembering

Take NotesTake Notes

Tape MessagesTape Messages

Memory is not ReproductiveMemory is not Reproductive

Memory is ReconstructedMemory is Reconstructed

Stages of Listening—Stages of Listening—EvaluatingEvaluating

Resist Premature EvaluationResist Premature Evaluation

Give Speaker Benefit of the DoubtGive Speaker Benefit of the Doubt

Distinguish Facts from InferencesDistinguish Facts from Inferences

Identify Speaker’s Biases and/or PrejudicesIdentify Speaker’s Biases and/or Prejudices

Stages of Listening—Stages of Listening—RespondingResponding

Support the Speaker with Back-ChannelingSupport the Speaker with Back-Channeling

Express Support for SpeakerExpress Support for Speaker

Respond Honestly Even in DisagreementRespond Honestly Even in Disagreement

Own Your ResponsesOwn Your Responses

Provide a Supportive AtmosphereProvide a Supportive Atmosphere

Problem-Causing ListeningProblem-Causing Listening

The Static ListenerThe Static Listener

The Monotonous Feedback GiverThe Monotonous Feedback Giver

The Overly Expressive ListenerThe Overly Expressive Listener

The Reader/WriterThe Reader/Writer

For discussionFor discussion

Do you routinely multitask? What do you Do you routinely multitask? What do you think of the information in the text that we think of the information in the text that we never really multitask, just do two things never really multitask, just do two things ineffectively?ineffectively?

Styles of ListeningStyles of Listening

Empathic and ObjectiveEmpathic and Objective

Punctuate from Speaker’s Point of ViewPunctuate from Speaker’s Point of View

Engage in Equal, Two-Way ConversationsEngage in Equal, Two-Way Conversations

Seek to Understand Thoughts and FeelingsSeek to Understand Thoughts and Feelings

Avoid “Offensive Listening”Avoid “Offensive Listening”

Styles of Listening—Styles of Listening—Nonjudgmental and Nonjudgmental and

CriticalCritical

Keep Open MindKeep Open Mind

Avoid Filtering or OversimplifyingAvoid Filtering or Oversimplifying

Recognize Own BiasesRecognize Own Biases

Avoid Uncritical ListeningAvoid Uncritical Listening

Note the different requirements in the Note the different requirements in the following situations:following situations:

You’re lost, and you ask a stranger for You’re lost, and you ask a stranger for directions. Your child comes to you crying. directions. Your child comes to you crying. You are in trouble and someone offers to You are in trouble and someone offers to help. Your spouse is being affectionate help. Your spouse is being affectionate and playful. Opposing council is cross-and playful. Opposing council is cross-examining you in court.examining you in court.

Styles of ListeningStyles of Listening

Surface and DepthSurface and Depth

Focus on Verbal and NonverbalFocus on Verbal and Nonverbal

Listen for Content and Relational MessagesListen for Content and Relational Messages

Note Statements that Refer Back to SpeakerNote Statements that Refer Back to Speaker

Don’t Disregard Literal MeaningsDon’t Disregard Literal Meanings

Styles of ListeningStyles of Listening

Active and InactiveActive and Inactive

Paraphrase Speaker’s MeaningParaphrase Speaker’s Meaning

Express Understanding of Speaker’s FeelingsExpress Understanding of Speaker’s Feelings

Ask QuestionsAsk Questions

For discussionFor discussion

Reviewing the personal listening Reviewing the personal listening preferences in the text, which do you use preferences in the text, which do you use most often? With which do you feel the most often? With which do you feel the most comfortable? Least comfortable? Are most comfortable? Least comfortable? Are you able to adopt different styles to you able to adopt different styles to different situations?  different situations? 

TQLRTQLR TT -- Tune in -- Tune in

(The listener must tune in to the speaker and the subject, mentally (The listener must tune in to the speaker and the subject, mentally calling up everything known about the subject and shutting out all calling up everything known about the subject and shutting out all distractions.) distractions.)

QQ -- Question -- Question (The listener should mentally formulate questions. What will this (The listener should mentally formulate questions. What will this speaker say about this topic? What is the speaker's background? I speaker say about this topic? What is the speaker's background? I wonder if the speaker will talk about...?) wonder if the speaker will talk about...?)

LL -- Listen -- Listen (The listener should organize the information as it is received, (The listener should organize the information as it is received, anticipating what the speaker will say next and reacting mentally to anticipating what the speaker will say next and reacting mentally to everything heard.) everything heard.)

RR -- Review -- Review (The listener should go over what has been said, summarize, and (The listener should go over what has been said, summarize, and evaluate constantly. Main ideas should be separated from evaluate constantly. Main ideas should be separated from subordinate ones.) subordinate ones.)

ActivityActivity

Listening to the sounds in your Listening to the sounds in your environment. What do you hear?environment. What do you hear?