Leader’s GUIde

Copyright © 2012 City on a Hill Studio, LLC

All rights reserved. No portion of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means – electronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, scanning, or other – except for brief quotations in critical reviews or articles, without prior written permission of the publisher.

The publishers are grateful to Mike Mack for his collaboration and writing skills in developing the content for this book.

Published in Louisville, Kentucky, by City on a Hill Studio. City on a Hill Studio and “The Christmas Experience” are registered trademarks of City on a Hill Studio, LLC.

Additional copies of this guide along with other Christmas Experience study resources may be purchased online at www.cityonahillstudio.com.

Scripture quotations are taken from the HOLY BIBLE: New International Version® Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan Publishing House. All rights reserved.

c o n t e n t s

a Message from Kyle Idleman ...........................................5

Getting started ....................................................................6

Week 1: at Just the right time ..........................................13

Week 2: Favored one ..........................................................23

Week 3: Faithful one ..........................................................31

Week 4: this Is God’s Plan? ...............................................39

Week 5: Immanuel ..............................................................47

Week 6: Gold, Frankincense, Myrrh ...................................55

additional resources ..........................................................66

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A MESSAGE FROM KYLE IDLEMAN

Two frightened young parents, a newborn babe, a bed of straw. What if what happened then changes everything now?

It’s easy to forget that the Christmas holiday has anything to do with God’s plan to restore mankind to himself. But the fact is that this commercialized, secularized holiday is meant to commemorate the most audacious miracle of all time—the arrival of Immanuel, God with us.

The Christmas Experience shows us that Jesus is worth waiting for. His coming into the world may not make our circumstances easier—in fact, like many who experienced the first Christmas, the very opposite may be true—but he does give our lives purpose and true joy. He brings a joy that the world cannot give or understand.

The people who lived through the miraculous events of that first Christmas experienced firsthand the impact of Jesus’ life. Mary and Joseph, the shepherds, the wise men—all of them would be forever changed. That can still happen today. It can happen to anyone who turns their eyes to Jesus, God with us, and travels with him through The Christmas Experience.

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WHAT IS THE CHRISTMAS EXPERIENCE? the christmas experience is a 6-week small group study that examines the christmas story in detail, helping groups (and families) prepare for the christmas season. each episode will focus on how God chose each individual in the christmas story for a specific purpose. those participat-ing in the christmas experience study will be able to find themselves in the christmas story, as they learn that what happened then changes everything now. this leader’s guide is to be used by the group leader to facilitate group discussion. the study is designed for small groups (either new or exist-ing), but the questions can easily be adapted for families that want to participate in the study together. Participant’s Guides are sold separately. they contain the discussion questions included in this guide for group meeting time, as well as additional questions/activities for participant’s to consider throughout the week. the Participant’s Guides are not required to complete the study, but are great supplemental resources.

MEETING FREQUENCY OPTIONSthis guide contains six sessions, but what if your group wants to use this material between thanksgiving and christmas—about three or four weeks? You can do that! If you choose to meet for less than six weeks, simply watch two presentations a week for as many weeks as you need to. Before the meeting at which you view two presentations, go through the leader’s guide and mark the questions you definitely want to discuss and mark through the ones you can skip. Be careful to leave time for some of the questions at the end of each session. these are meant to help participants apply what you are discussing to their lives.

Here’s a suggested four-week option: Week One: Session 1 Week Two: Sessions 2 & 3 Week Three: Sessions 4 & 5 Week Four: Session 6

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MAKING THE MOST OF YOUR CHRISTMAS EXPERIENCE GROUPProvide a welcome setting. Be creative. Food always helps warm up a group. soft lighting, candles, a fire, and background music can all promote a more comfortable, open, and thus effective, atmosphere for group discussion. of course, you have to set up the chairs for the dVd viewing in a way so that everyone can see the tV. But for the discus-sion time, rearrange the chairs so that everyone can face one another. a circle creates an atmosphere where everyone feels part of the discus-sion. Facilitate discussion. the questions in this guide are also in the Participant’s Guides (sold separately). Use these to help facilitate your discussion. You will also notice notes and possible follow up questions in blue print in many of these lessons. (these are usually introduced by the word Leader.) these are totally optional and are there only to help you guide the discussion, not necessarily to be read aloud. each lesson also includes a couple brief commentary paragraphs. these are also in the Participant’s Guides. You can either read them yourself or ask a participant to read them aloud.

end well. after the discussion, you might want to have coffee (with eggnog or gingerbread creamer) available so that those who want to talk personally will feel more comfortable, and will be more likely to do so. Let others help you clean up if they volunteer. It’ll make them feel like they’re a part of things, so if they ask to help, accept it!

HOW TO LEAD A DYNAMIC DISCUSSIONBe creative when it comes to the group time. as you prepare to lead, ask yourself, “What would help our group bond? What would help the group build trust and open up? What would help the group care for each other?” don’t follow the leader’s guide legalistically. You may spend more time on one aspect than another. You may carry out the prayer time differently. Follow Jesus rather than merely following this guide. (He’s the real leader of this group!)

Practice with the dVd player beforehand. Make sure everything is functional prior to the start of your group each week.

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Pray. ask God to give you wisdom, a listening ear, and a peace that passes understanding. remember that God has given you a spirit of power, love, and self-discipline (2 timothy 1:7).

Ask questions. Feel free to rephrase the questions in this guide to make them your own. the more conversational you can be, the better. don’t just ask one question right after another, but follow up with what someone says. this makes the discussion more like a conversation than a lesson. Here are some good follow-up questions to have in your back pocket:

• “Explain what you mean.”• “Can you give an example of what you’re saying?”• “When did you start thinking/feeling that way?”• “How confident are you that that’s true?”• “How well does that work in your life?”• “Well, that’s interesting. What do the rest of you think?”

Listen. Keep in mind that the most important thing you need to do next is listen! really hear what people are saying. don’t worry so much about what you’re going to say next. Instead, really listen, and then respond out of what you hear people say. remember that a little silence can be a good thing for a group, so don’t try to fill every quiet moment. do your best to listen to the spirit as well as the conversation. Pray silently through the dVd presentation and the discussion time, asking for the sensitivity and wisdom to listen and then guide without controlling.

Affirm but don’t endorse. It’s important that, as a leader, you af-firm all the responses. say, “thank you, Ben” or “that’s very interest-ing, elizabeth.” no matter what the participants say, don’t criticize their remarks. Instead, say something like, “Well that’s interesting. What do the rest of you think?” once you as the leader directly disapprove of some-one’s comments, some people will never speak up again.

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on the other side of the coin, while it’s important to affirm all responses, avoid the temptation to endorse them. don’t say things like, “now that’s a great comment” or “I couldn’t agree with you more.” such endorse-ments tip your hand and leave others feeling like their comments are not acceptable. also, resist the urge to be too instructional, trying to answer everyone’s questions and solve everyone’s problems. once a know-it-all person speaks up, conversation tends to shut down. You can give your own opinion, but do it in a personal and humble way. Maybe you say, “Well, my experience has been…” or “this is how I see it…”

When someone talks too much...What do you do if a difficult, domi-neering, or excessively talkative person is in your group? Here are a few ideas: First, if someone is talking on and on, interrupt nicely and say, “I hear what you’re trying to say, but let’s see how others feel about that.” or you might say, “I’d like to give everyone else a chance to say one thing before anyone speaks a second time.” If someone continues to dominate the discussion, step aside with him or her after the session and say something like, “I see you have a lot of ideas, and you’re very willing to express them.

that’s good, but I need your help. some of the others in the group are not as bold. so would you help me draw them out? If you could keep your comments briefer, I think they will begin to share.”

When someone never talks…What if a person in your group is reluc-tant to share? You might say something like, “does anyone who hasn’t spoken up yet have a thought or an idea?” If that doesn’t work, and if the spirit is prompting you, then say, “Hey, Kevin, I noticed you haven’t said anything yet. You don’t have to, but I’d sure be interested in hearing what you think about this.”

this may be a ton of information for you to digest (especially if you are a new leader), but don’t worry. above all, just love each person in the group because if you truly care about them, they’re going to sense it, and then allow the Holy spirit to do the rest.

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LEADER CHECKLIST:

• Pray. Lift up the people you’ve invited, their friends, and yourselfas you plan.

• Don’t worry needlessly. do your part in the planning and leadingand leave the results to God.

• Don’t go it alone. develop a core team, with whom you can pray,plan, lead the group, and review. see ecclesiastes 4:9 12.

• Provide alternatives for childcare. this is one of the biggestconcerns of participants with kids.

• Decide where you are meeting. Find a comfortable place—bigenough for the number of people invited, but not so big that thegroup loses its sense of closeness.

• Think about how people will get to the meeting. does everyonehave transportation? do you need to provide maps to the house?Is parking adequate? are you meeting in a place that is accessibleto people with disabilities?

• Send a postcard or short letter to everyone you’ve invited abouta week before your meeting. remind them of the time and placeof the meeting, anything you’d like them to bring, whateveryou are providing, childcare options, and anything else you thinkis important. Include a map if necessary. Be creative; get themexcited about the meeting.

• Check the lighting. Good lighting not only helps people see theirBibles and each other, it can provide a sense of warmth.

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• Decide on a room. the living room and family room are warmplaces. the kitchen or informal dining room gives a feelingof family and unity. a back porch provides informality.What atmosphere are you looking for?

• Be sure everyone can see everyone else’s face. If possible, don’tuse long couches—the people on the ends have to talk across theperson in the middle. try to get everyone on the same eye level.Be sure seating is comfortable.

• Get rid of distractions. Put the pets in another room. Keeptelevisions off. If you play music as people arrive, keep it soft, andturn it off before starting the meeting. turn the ringer on the telephone, including cell phones, off.

• Plan the time of the meeting. one of the biggest problems groupleaders have is losing track or running out of time. While yourobjective is not to “get everything in,” you still need to knowhow much time you want to spend on each activity. You canbe flexible, but keep things moving. If you don’t manage thetime, you could end up spending an hour on one good activityand miss a great one!

• Don’t forget the food! It’s really not the food itself, of course; itis what happens as folks relax and talk as they are eating. try tobe like the early disciples, who “ate together with glad and sincerehearts” (acts 2:46).

• Plan to plan. there are many other things for which you’ll learnto plan as you lead the group. remember that the best planningincludes prayer.

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WEEK 1: At Just the Right Time

“When the time had fully come, God sent his Son.” (Galatians 4:4)

Leader’s Devotionaldo you ever feel like you’re just whining when you pray? Many of us do. this is what I want, and I want it now! You probably don’t pray those words, but God knows your attitude. Why aren’t you answering my prayer, Lord? I know this is in your will. I know that as a loving Father, you want what’s best for me, and I know this is best for me. I know. I know. see the problem here? sometimes we pray as if we know more or better than the sovereign God who created the universe!

as the group leader, you may be wondering how you can facilitate a discussion about trusting in God’s timing when you struggle with this yourself. don’t worry; you’re not alone! You do not have to have this all figured out before you lead a discussion. In fact, sharing your own personal struggles with waiting on God will help others grow.

God told the great leader and prophet, Isaiah, “I, the Lord, will bring it all to pass at the right time” (Isaiah 60:22, new Living transla-tion). God was reminding Isaiah and the Israelites that he (God) is in control of everything. He will bring it to pass at just the right time–his time. this particular promise in Isaiah was in reference to the second coming. Like whiny adolescents, God’s people wanted the fulfillment of God’s promises immediately! God told Isaiah that it was all in God’s hands, and their job was simply to trust him.

You may be in God’s waiting room right now yourself. and often when we are asking and waiting for God to come through, our question is “Why?” Why is God making you wait? Why doesn’t he just come through now?

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We wait, first, because he wants us to trust him. the timing is his, not ours. Perhaps he wants to remind us that he is God and we are not. to wait for him to come through, we must have faith.

We wait because, more than anything else, God desires a relationship with us. He desires for us to walk with him, listen to him, and have hope that he will work on our behalf. If he responded according to our timing, he’d be no more than a magic genie to us. But he wants far more than that. He wants a loving relationship.

We wait on him to test our belief that he really does work for the good of those who love him and are called according to his purpose. We wait because the testing of our faith develops perseverance, which will make us mature and complete (see James 1:2-4; romans 5:3-5). Yes, waiting is a huge part of what God uses to grow us spiritually.

Waiting is a fundamental part of the christian life. We wait for christ to return. We wait for our real home. We wait for the blessed hope–the glorious appearing of our great God and savior, Jesus christ. We wait for his kingdom to come in all its glory. “come, Lord Jesus,” we pray. We are a people of waiting.

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Purpose of this Week:to understand through the christmas story that we can trust God’s timing.

Preparation:• Pray for group participants before they arrive• Have name tags available for the opening activity, if you use it• Provide the christmas experience Participant’s Guide to

each person• arrange to have a nativity set in a visible location in the meeting

room. You will not use it this week, but you will in future weeks. this week it will serve as a fundamental part of the christmas décor. • cue the dVd to episode 1

Opening:especially if this is a new group or an existing group with new members, be sure to allow some time for people to introduce themselves.

Optional: as people arrive, give each a nametag to wear for the evening. Instruct them to print their first names vertically down the left side of the tag and then print a word or words for each letter describing their favorite things about christmastime. Here’s an example:

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Leader Tip: create your own nametag first, before other people arrive. as always, you as the leader go first and model this for the group.

as everyone gets settled, invite each person to introduce themselves and say why they chose the words they put on their tags.

answer one of the following questions:

• think back over christmases past. Which one did you most look forward to with anticipation? Why?

• as christmastime approaches this year, what part of the celebration do you most anticipate with excitement?

• as you anticipate christmas, what phrase or phrases best describe you?

• oh no…there is so much to get done!

• How long is your family staying?

• do we have to buy a gift for every single person we know?

• What a wonderful time of year to reflect on the birth of Jesus and all the promises.

• I really miss the people who are not going to be with us this christmas.

• other: _______________________________________________

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DVD Presentation:View episode 1, “at Just the right time,” on the christmas experience dVd. Use the space below to jot down anything that jumps out at you:

Discussion:1. What initial reactions or thoughts do you have to this presentation?

ask someone to read Luke 2:1-7.

2. What evidences of God’s timing and provision do you see inthis passage?

3. Why does it matter to the gospel story that caesar augustusissued a decree for the entire roman world?

In the video, Kyle mentioned that there are about three hundred promises made about Jesus in the old testament, and God kept all of them. Here are just a few of them. (LEADER: ask several volunteers to each read one of these aloud.)

“But you, Bethlehem Ephrathah, though you are small among the clans of Judah, out of you will come for me one who will be ruler over Israel, whose origins are from of old, from ancient times.” (Micah 5:2)

“Therefore the Lord himself will give you a sign: The virgin will be with child and will give birth to a son, and will call him Immanuel.” (Isaiah 7:14)

“Out of Egypt I called my son.” (Hosea 11:1)

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President James a. Garfield once called history “the unrolled scroll of prophecy.” God always keeps his promises. History is his story! In Jeremiah 1:12, God says, “I am watching to see that my word is fulfilled.” God had the date of Jesus’ birth circled on his calendar. sending his son into the world as a gift to humanity was no impulse decision; God had planned it since the beginning of time.

4. How had God orchestrated all the circumstances so that the Good news about Jesus would spread throughout the world? (LEADER: the italicized sentences below each bulleted point are for your refer-ence, not for you to “teach.” these come from the video presentation. You may want to bring these up in your own words if needed.)

• Politically? since the Jewish people had been dispersed because of oppressive roman rule, the Gospel moved outside of Jerusalem more quickly. at the time of Jesus’ birth, however, there was a time of peace. this was one of the few windows in human history where there has been extended peace.

• Philosophically? People had become accustomed to the socratic method of learning by asking questions, so people had lots of questions, but not many answers.

• Linguistically? as a result of the influence of alexander the Great, much of the world was united by a common language, Greek. also, the Hebrew scriptures had been translated into Greek so more people could read them.

• Through advancements in technology and industry? the romans had built roads throughout the empire, allowing the early church, including Paul and his team, to travel more easily.

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5. When has God come through for you “at just the right time”? does anyone have a story? (LEADER: you may want to go first,

if you have such a story.)

• When you look back, how did you see God orchestrating thecircumstances to come through for you in ways you didn’t understand at the time?

6. Kyle shared the stories of several people who were “in God’swaiting room,” waiting for God to finally come through for them.He mentioned life circumstances such as trying to sell a house,needing healing after an accident, wanting to start a family,looking for a job, and wanting to get married. Would anyone bewilling to share a life circumstance or situation in which you havebeen waiting for God to come through?

7. It can be difficult to see God’s hand when you are in the middleof your “winter.” Why do you think it is so hard to see God atwork when you’re in the midst of painful circumstances?

We learn from the christmas story that we can trust God’s timing. so much of God’s Word teaches us to trust God in the middle of our life circumstances. this isn’t easy, but it is how God molds us into the people he wants us to become. a familiar verse for many christ-followers is Proverbs 3:5, 6: “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.”

8. How does this verse show us how to trust in God’s timing?

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Prayer: We have discussed areas in which we are thankful for how God has come through for us in the past as well as current circumstances where we are still waiting on his timing. Let’s take some time now first to thank and praise him for being a God who is driving the uni-verse with both hands on the wheel. then let’s also take our personal requests to him, trusting him to orchestrate everything for our good and his glory. Let’s be sure to not only ask him to work on our be-half, but also to help us trust him and his timing as he is working.

LEADER, start out this time of prayer, inviting participants to pray short, simple prayers to God. Model this by beginning with a short, very simple prayer yourself, thanking God for his perfect timing.

Between the Meeting Options• Individually or with your family, read Luke 1:5-25 together. discuss some of the ways God was preparing to send Jesus into the world in his perfect timing. • call another member of the group this week and ask about a circumstance that person is going through for which he or she is waiting on God’s timing. offer to pray for the person on the phone.

• Watch episode 1 with your family. ask your children about how they saw God preparing for the birth of Jesus at just the right time.

• discuss with your family or a few friends from your group: How is God preparing your heart for the celebration of christ’s coming into the world this christmas? What does he still need to do to prepare your heart for this celebration?

• read and meditate on Luke 1:26-38 throughout the week.

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NOTES: ________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

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