Building a Better Marriage At Jesus’ Feet. Fate of Marriages 1.End in legal divorce 2.Settle for emotional divorce 3.Grow in love for a lifetime

Building a Building a Better Better

MarriageMarriageAt Jesus’ FeetAt Jesus’ Feet

Fate of MarriagesFate of Marriages1.1. End in legal divorceEnd in legal divorce2.2. Settle for emotional divorceSettle for emotional divorce3.3. Grow in love for a lifetimeGrow in love for a lifetime

People who Build Great People who Build Great Marriages…Marriages…

• Abide in JesusAbide in Jesus– John 15:4-5John 15:4-5–““Fruit” = supernaturally good words & Fruit” = supernaturally good words &

actions (‘fruit of the Spirit’ in Gal 5) actions (‘fruit of the Spirit’ in Gal 5) –Assumes a Assumes a relationshiprelationship with Jesus with Jesus–Requires Requires timetime & & obedienceobedience


• Abide in JesusAbide in Jesus• Practice SelflessnessPractice Selflessness–Philippians 2:3-8Philippians 2:3-8–A great marriage requires me to sacrifice A great marriage requires me to sacrifice

my rights & desires, time & possessionsmy rights & desires, time & possessions

Either I sacrifice myself, or I sacrifice my Either I sacrifice myself, or I sacrifice my marriage!marriage!


• Abide in JesusAbide in Jesus• Practice SelflessnessPractice Selflessness• Accept Others in LoveAccept Others in LoveRomans 15:7Therefore, accept one another, just as Christ also accepted us to the glory of God.

Unconditional Unconditional Acceptance…Acceptance…

Does not:Does not:• ask “did I marry the ask “did I marry the

wrong person?”wrong person?”

• rehearse a list of rehearse a list of things you don’t likethings you don’t like

• try to change your try to change your spousespouse

• threaten to leavethreaten to leave

Does:Does:• trust in the sovereignty trust in the sovereignty

of Godof God

• verbalize unconditional verbalize unconditional commitmentcommitment

• practice thankfulnesspractice thankfulness


• Abide in JesusAbide in Jesus• Practice SelflessnessPractice Selflessness• Accept Others in LoveAccept Others in Love• Practice EmpathyPractice Empathy– the ability to identify with and understand the ability to identify with and understand

somebody else's feelings or difficultiessomebody else's feelings or difficulties


• Abide in JesusAbide in Jesus• Practice SelflessnessPractice Selflessness• Accept Others in LoveAccept Others in Love• Practice EmpathyPractice Empathy– Discover your spouse’s love languageDiscover your spouse’s love language

Words of affirmationWords of affirmation Acts of serviceActs of serviceQuality timeQuality time Physical touchPhysical touchReceiving giftsReceiving gifts


• Abide in JesusAbide in Jesus• Practice SelflessnessPractice Selflessness• Accept Others in LoveAccept Others in Love• Practice EmpathyPractice Empathy– Discover your spouse’s love languageDiscover your spouse’s love language– Practice walking in your spouse’s shoesPractice walking in your spouse’s shoes

1 Peter 3:7Husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way…


• Abide in JesusAbide in Jesus• Practice SelflessnessPractice Selflessness• Accept Others in LoveAccept Others in Love• Practice EmpathyPractice Empathy• Edify with their WordsEdify with their Words

Proverbs 18:21Death and life are in the power of the tongue…



Proverbs 12:18There is one who speaks rashly like the thrusts of a sword, But the tongue of the wise brings healing.

Become a Great Become a Great CommunicatorCommunicator

Avoid:Avoid:• sarcasmsarcasm

• public critique or public critique or correction of spousecorrection of spouse

• absolute language absolute language (“you never… you (“you never… you always…”)always…”)

• withdrawalwithdrawal

Practice:Practice:• listen before you speaklisten before you speak

• praise your spouse in praise your spouse in private & in publicprivate & in public

• speak truth in lovespeak truth in love (truth surrounded by (truth surrounded by encouragement)encouragement)



ApplicationApplication• Review sermon slides w/ spouseReview sermon slides w/ spouse• Read a book together this summerRead a book together this summer– A Lasting Promise: A Christian Guide to A Lasting Promise: A Christian Guide to

Fighting for Your Marriage Fighting for Your Marriage Stanley, Trathen, Stanley, Trathen, McCain, and BryanMcCain, and Bryan– The Five Love Languages The Five Love Languages Gary ChapmanGary Chapman– Building your Mates Self-Esteem Building your Mates Self-Esteem Dennis and Dennis and

Barbara RaineyBarbara Rainey

• Don’t be afraid to get helpDon’t be afraid to get help

Documents

Building a Better Marriage At Jesus’ Feet. Fate of Marriages 1.End in legal divorce 2.Settle for emotional divorce 3.Grow in love for a lifetime