Book Riview of Parenting

7/29/2019 Book Riview of Parenting

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Marriage according to Islamic perspective

An overview of the Islamic Marriage

Nature has so arranged that man and woman are attracted to each other. This

natural attraction binds them together and they lead a common life and form afamily. This natural tendency, the instinct of sex, should be guided to the right

direction so that it may be utilized in the service of humanity. Though the common

life of a husband and wife originates from the sexual instinct, it gradually develops

into a deep, spiritual, sentimental, social and economic relationship. That is what

Islam calls matrimony.

Islam has attached great importance to the question of marriage in its social

system. In the Holy Qur'an and the sayings of the Holy Prophet we find that marriage

has been greatly encouraged. Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w.) said;

"No institution of Islam is liked by Allah more than that of marriage."

The basic objectives of marriage in Islam are, first, securing a comfortable

atmosphere for a husband and wife and,

Second is producing a new generation of healthy, faithful and virtuous children.

With regard to the first objective, the Holy Qur'an says:

"One of His signs is that He created for you spouses of your own species, so that you

might find comfort with them. And He put mutual love and affection in your hearts.

Surely in this there are lessons for the thinking people" (30:21)

A Muslim husband and wife who follow the teachings of the Holy Qur'an should

always be a source of comfort for each other, Their relationship should reach far

above that of mere sexual enjoyment and should reach the stage of cordial

friendship accompanied by mutual benevolence.

With regard to the second objective, the Holy Qur'an says:

"He is the Creator of the heavens and the earth. He has given you partners from

among yourselves and, similarly, made the cattle also males and females. That is how

he multiplies you. Nothing can be compared to Him; He is the All-hearing, the All-

seeing." (43:11)

Choosing a spouse


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One of the most critical questions connected to marriage and the formation of the

family is that of choosing a spouse. Freedom in choosing a husband or wife is a

principle to which Islam pays much attention. Compatibility between two parties can

exist only if they choose each other out of their own free will after careful study and

without coercion.

According to Islamic law, the first condition of the validity of a marriage contract is

that it should be proposed by the woman and accepted by the man and both of them

should act freely in this matter. No impositions are allowed in this respect. A young

man once complained to an Imam that his parents were compelling him to marry a

girl whom he did not like, whereas he was interested in another girl. The Imam said

to him: "Marry that girl whom you like," Still, consultation with the parents of both

parties is strongly advised, since marriage establishes a social contract between two

families. Such consultation shows respect for the parents and is conducive to better

understanding between relatives of both sides.

Choosing a suitable spouse is the first step in establishing a sound family. The Holy

Prophet said:

"Marry your equals; choose your partner in life from among them and select the best

mothers for your offspring."

At first glance, this saying from the Holy Prophet may seem racist or prejudiced.

Unhappiness of marriage

Marriage is a responsibility must be carried for woman and man in their whole life. Ones marriage will

be bored and unhappy when they always compared their life after marriage and before they get

married. The life is totally different and more commitment should be aware in order to have a good

marriage. The marriage will be smooth if they full the responsibility according to Islamic perspective.

The important factor that responsible for the failure of marriage when human always follow their

emotional feeling to make decisions rather than use their mind.

How to avoid the chaotic situation in marriage?

1) If your husband or wife doing some mistakes, just try to control your anger and give some timesto explain the mistakes.

2) If the mistakes just a small mater, just forgive each other and advise to make sure they did notrepeat it again.

3) Make sure you ask for apologize from each other, but do not take too long time to make it.4) When they are throwing out their anger, just hear and dont say anything bad to he or she.5) The most important thing is take wudhu if you feel anger of has bad feeling.


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The reason of the unhappy marriage

1) Husband and wife is too depending on each other to fill up their responsibility.2) Partners do not want to be together and feel uneasy with each other will be burden the other

partners.

3) Both do not have communication because of the business at workplace.4) Do not respect each others5) Intolerance and selfish.When you feel your marriage is boring, thats because of you. The way you must take to improve

this situation are:

1) Know the reason of the problems or uneasy feeling.2) Try to change your personality of bad behavior that maybe your partner does not like it very

much.

3) If any of this do not give any change for you, see any counselor or try to discuss it with yourfriends or family that you can trust.

4) If you feel bored because of the same rules in the house or between each other, you mustchange your ways to handle your family, try ask them go to holiday to spend time with your

partner.

5) One more important thing is always pray and read al Quran to help you feel comfortable andhave a happy family.

This book also mansion of the reason why communication is important in Muslims marriage. The

main reason is to be responsible with each other in the family, not only parents should be responsible of

any consequences, but also the child. They also must learn how to be a responsible person toward their

family, not only depend to their parents. The second reason communication is important is to teachtheir children. Many child nowadays lack of how to speak politely with the older one. However, if the

older one does not teach them how to have good communication with each other, so they cannot learn

that. That why communication is important in the family. Communication also appears to advice each

other on how the decision will be. They must give their opinion and advise each other if there is

something wrong with them. Finally, communication is very important to be friendly with each other

and not just care of their own things, but also they alert with the other family members. Thats how

communication is important in every marriage because they can understand each other deeply and do

not harm each other. When a family always has a good communication, they always can solve their

problems in a good ways. They also can trust of their children and this kind of relationship will be full of

honesty and respect to each other. The child will feel happy and will take care of their familys pride.

Lack of communication is one of the factors that lead to the divorce in ones marriage. This kind of

things will happen when they dont understand to each other. This situation is appear when both of

them not into each other or do not know well before they get married. But, this not the problem

because if they are married because of their parents arranged it, they will be happy if they try to

understand each other and at the same time try to have good relationship. What they must do are try to


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have some time together to have communication, do not be an authoritative to the wife of husband, do

not spend so much time with the work. Secondly, when they are lack of the communication, the

jealousy feeling will appear toward each other. They are too emotional when doing something while do

not know that the other side already hurt with what they are doing. It may lead to the divorce and

unhappy family. The lack of communication in Islam also can be shown when a husband is not a

responsible person. For example, they do not know how to be kind with his wife and treat them in a

good and gentle way. Because of their attitude, the wife sometime will find another guy and have a bad

relationship with them. They betrayed they husband and the same thing will happen to the wife. That

way good communication is very important in ones family.

In conclusion, the counseling of marriage is very important to make sure peoples really understand

and know how to be a good wife and husband. And they also will know how to be a good parent. They

can always ask for any opinion and advise if they have any problems and also to make sure they follow

all the rules in Islam as a wife and husband. Especially for many young pair that already married, they

always will face many problems, not only financial but also how to live together and be a responsible

husband and wife.

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Book Riview of Parenting