A Dream of the Influenza

Irish Jesuit Province

A Dream of the InfluenzaAuthor(s): D. J.Source: The Irish Monthly, Vol. 34, No. 395 (May, 1906), pp. 259-263Published by: Irish Jesuit ProvinceStable URL: http://www.jstor.org/stable/20500959 .

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[ 259 ]

A DREAM OF THE INFLUENZA

NE night, while suffering from an attack of influenza, I was being tucked in by a friend whom I loved.

"I hope you will sleep well," she said. I fear not," I answered, crossly.

"Oh! " she said, bent on cheering me, " think of all the poor patients in hospitals to-night who cannot sleep for pain or weariness, or from the coughs and snores and groans of the other patients ! "

Now this remark, and such as " If you were there! " always irritate me. I answered with asperity: " What on earth has a

hospital to say to me ? Do you think it does me good, or the patients good, to dwell on each other's sufferings ? Will it make me sleep ? "

She answered mildly, " It might help to make you thankful." " I am thankful, and I am sorry for them, but what good

can piling up the agony do them, or me ? It's a mistaken idea." Seeing the soothing effect of her homily lost on me, she

kissed me, said good-night, and left me. But the echo of her words remained, and I murmured to myself, " Pity them! Ah, poor souls ! indeed, indeed I do, and were I walking through wards of a hospital now, I feel as if the sight of all their suffer ings might make me wish to take up some of their pain and carry it awhile for them."

So thinking, I fell asleep, seemingly only to waken up

instantly, feeling conscious of something secure, soothing, and

comforting about me. NVithout surprise I saw a beautiful Being at my side. A soft effulgence shone around his form, a radiance surpassingly beautiful on his face. A sweet but sad smile met my look, as the Angel said, " Come."

Instantly I arose, and, passing through the door, followed the Angel into the wards of a hospital. All was hushed and in dim light. No noise but a cough or low murmur of restless sleep. As we passed through, I caught at times the sound of voices. Coming near a screened bed, the Angel stopped there.



260 TTIl IRISH MONTHLY

It was a poor woman, her face drawn with pain, her eyes wide open and beseeching in their look of agony. A nurse beside

her was speaking to a young surgeon at the foot of the bed: Can you give her nothing to make her sleep ?"

" Impossible," he answered. " Had to bear the operation, you know, without anesthetics. She is really a plucky woman; but now all her nerves are astray, and make the pain worse.

If she could only sleep, she would be all right." The Angel looked at me. " Wilt thou bear this woman's.

agony for a little while, and let her sleep ?"

I felt startled, but, looking up into the Angel's face, took such courage and comfort from it, I answered, " Yes, I am ready."

" Come, then," said the Angel, "near her, and take her hand

in thine."

I did so, and instantly a fever of pain racked my nerves; agony in every fibre, succeeded, however, shortly by a weary fatigue, then a dulness of nerve and brain.

Just as a calm fell, the Angel said, " Come." I arose from my knees, and there in soothing sleep lay the poor patient, and on the nurse's face real happiness and a look of relief.

I followed the Angel once more, and next minute we entered into a small room. Only one patient lay there, a fearful sight.

A man strapped to the bed. unable to lift arm or limb, a face of horror and fright, a torrent of awful words culminating in a howl of fear, a convulsion of frame as though recoiling from a hated contact, froth and blood on his blue lips, and the sweat of agony pouring from his face. A nurse stood near and moistened his brow with water. At a table near, a student sat, watching.

" Stop that, nurse, it is no good. He fancies you are one of the black devils touching him. He is booked to go in a few hours at this rate, when the fit wears out. "

" Can nothing save him ? " the nurse asked. " Nothing. And a good job too, for his relatives." " His wife does not think so," answered the nurse, " you

should have seen her this afternoon, crying over him. I did feel for her. She said, ' If God only will spare him once more, I know he will change. He had been trying, and it was some bad friends who again got round him.'"

" He had D.T. before," answered the student. "This is



A DREAM OF THE INFLUENZA 261

the second, and, I believe, the last attack for the poor chap. Well, I must go, but, should he calm down sufficiently for you

to give him this " (handing the nurse a glass), " in the next half hour or so, it might send him to sleep; but do not bother him more than you can help."

So saying, he left the room. The Angel looked at me. "A few minutes, nay seconds of

calm, and there is another chance for him. Wilt thou give it to him ? "

I recoiled, frightened; then looking up, saw such sadness

in the Angel's face, I was moved to courage and once more ad

vanced bravely, and said, " I am ready." And, stooping over the sufferer, I took his hand in mine.

The next moment I was falling, falling, into blackness, into horror, torment, terror, beyond anything I can express. Hate, anger, rage, making me battle against what was clutching and

bearing me down and down into an abyss. But speedily some thing caught me and held me. Instead of terror, I felt relief, and, chased as by sunbeams, the shadows of my brain fled

away. " Come," said the Angel, whose hand was on my shoulder.

"He will do. A chance of better life is in his hands once more." I arose and followed the Angel still. This time we went

another way, and through another ward; finally turning into

one with few beds, we came to one surrounded by a screen.

On it lay a young woman seemingly near death. Her face wan

ashy-white and drawn. She had just been brought in, crushed

by the wheels of a van, and her case was hopeless. Her large eyes were open and full of tears, with a yearning, beseeching gaze, while her lips moved in prayer. " This poor soul," said

the Angel, " was a child of God. The love of her Lord was her

very being, and she wished above all to belong to Him, and to

devote her life to Him alone. But the Tempter was watching. A great sorrow came into her life. She trusted in her own

strength, and sought none from her Lord. Satan, the world, and the flesh strove together, and she fell. Then she lost all

hope, all care, and all thought even. Now she lies dying, her

soul sees clearer, and in an agony of remorse and penitence strives to free itself once more from all dross. Her heart is one

ache of sorrow, not for herself, but for the pain she has inflicted



262 THE: IRIHMOTHL Y.

on her once beloved God. `Gladly Iwuld she now die for Him, but she .fears it is to6 late. As it is, she has but a few minutes to live. They have sent for a priest, but he cannot be here for ten minutes.. Ohl! he will not be here in time!"

The Angel stopped speaking. My heart felt riven for her,. and I-: said, " ' Can nothing be done to prolong her life, even for a little while ?

.". Nothing, nothing," the Angel replied.. "Yet, stay. Shoud one be found willing to give her ten minutes out of one's own

life, her life might be so much prolonged."' "Ten minutes!" I cried. "Yes, and thrice ten minutes.

I would willingly give her.'

The 'Angel looked at me. "Why wouldst thou give ten

minutes of thy own precious life? Thou mayest not lightly part with a minute of it.- What is she to thee .?"'

"She is nothing to me,"- I answered.. "Then what object hast'thou in. making this sacrifice?" I felt a sudden thrill through and through me at these words,

then, raising my hands high and claspin g them' together, I exclaimed, "For the honour and glory of God in the salvation ofa lost :soul!

The tears streamed down my face as I said this. The Angel's

Iface.glowed with light, and his bright smile met me.

"Come," said he, placed me close to the dying woman,

and I put my. arms around her.

I had this night felt the agony of bodily pain, the, torture -of

a diseased brain. But now this was something, far.S far beyond

efforts to telL. The pain of a heart, with the despair of a soul.,. "Oh, never, never! to see Him. Never to be, able to-say,

how grieved how repentant I am! Oh! never to sy how all

the love of my being was His, and is His now."

B-.But. stay t What is this light appearing i.n:. the. distance ?.

Very faintly it approaches nearer and nearer, .dispelling like. the

sunrise all: the gloom of night. The light advances and with a

wondrous feeling of heart-joy. A door. opens and shuts noisily; hurried feet approach; someone enters. An earnest anxious look meets mine.; The dying' woman: re:ognizes the piest

who is bending over her to administer the lasft Christian rites

and to say, Profciscere anima Christiana / "Come," said the Angel.- I followed himn;, he turned shi



TO OUR LADY OF THE WAYSIDE 263

face with a look of joy to me, and said, " Go thy way in peace, child. The Lord be with thee. Thy work this night is done.

When thy last hour approaches, be not afraid, I shall not be far from thee."

With these last words in my ears, I awoke. My heart was beating fast, and somehow I felt happy, wondering at the vivid dream. Finally, I fell asleep, and-this time without a dream -I slept till morning.

D. J.

TO OUR LADY OF THE WAYSIDE

OUR Lady of the Wayside, we hail thee with acclaim.

List f tom above,

While filial love Breathes forth thy holy name.

Ah, name most sweet!

Ah, name most meet!

Guide of our wandering feet,

Our Lady of the Wayside, wide be thy gracious fame.

Our Lady of the Wayside, by sainted heroes taught,

We seek the aid

For which they prayed

And not in vain they sought

That on our way

We may not stray,

But, through thee, save for aye,

Our Lady of the Wayside, the soul thy dear Son bought.

Our Lady of the Wayside! drear shadows fall around

Our path beside

Life's ebbing tide Oh, may thy-help abound

To guard from ill

And lead us still,

With step unfaltering, till, Our Lady of the Wayside, our home in Heaven be found.

JOHN HUGHES, S.J.



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A Dream of the Influenza