A conversation with a center, not sides

A conversation with a center, not sidesIn search of dialogue, instead of debateCOMM ISSUES FOR LEADERSGreg ForesterWhy Dialogue? This world celebrates debate and denigrates dialogue From politics to entertainment, the goal is often to win over the other. This makes for good theater but fails to solve problems A better strategy is DialogueWord comes from the Greek dia and logosor through meaning Therefore, Dialogue is the act of (two or more people) creating meaning togetherJohn Stewart (briefly) on Dialogue

Stewart: Empowerment through dialogue Dialogue, or creating meaning empowers us to overcome obstacles of understanding and collaboration. In effect, dialogue means rising above our preexisting notions and beliefs to create new notions or beliefs with others. Empowered, we can work with others more effectively and be better leaders.So what happens when we debate? Debate is taking a position and defending it to the last. Little room to create new meaning or consensus. Little room for compromise. Winner and loser.So what happens when we debate? (more) In debate, there is little true listening (beyond the presence of audience). Parties are defensive of viewpoints. Defense means shielding mind from comprehending the other sides position. Consensus & agreement become impossible, as debate continues. Problems go unsolved

The 2011 Debt Ceiling Debate Summer of 2011 House GOP will not approve debt ceiling increase (federal government credit limit). GOP demands spending cuts equal to requested increase in debt issuance. First time in American history that debt ceiling is held up for a strings attached deal between Congress & President.Contemporary Example:The 2011 Debt Ceiling Debate

Obama Responds Abandons original stance refusing to negotiate on debt-ceiling. Proposes Grand Compromise ($4 trillion in spending cuts and tax increases). Stalemate leads to $1 trillion cut and Super Committee. Super Committee has until Nov. 23rd to produce $1.2 trillion (or more) in deficit reduction via spending cuts, revenue (tax) increases or combo.Clock is ticking

What did the public want? Public Opinion polling: more than 55% of Americans favor Grand Compromise. 60-70% of Americans support tax increases on the wealthy. Leaders fought, called each other names, lied about the other sides intentions, and could not come together for a compromise. No listening, no respect, no compromise.Moodys Downgrade Soon after debate concludes, Moodys ratings agency downgrades US. Dropped to AA+. Down from sterling AAA debt rating. Implications: higher interest rates for U.S. government, consumers, and less funding for programs & services. Cited inability of politicians to work together and come up with good solutions. More downgrades on the horizon if no compromises are reachedMoodys Downgrade (cont.) Moodys primary citation in downgrade was NOT the U.S. $15 trillion deficit (equal to all money made in this economy in one year). Cited toxic Washington D.C. governing environment and pols inability to have dialogue and reach compromise. More info in following video.Pols on the Situation in Washington, D.C.

Introducing Dialogue:Deborah Tannen With differing views, debate is one option. Dialogue is another. Debate is more entrenched in society. Especially in: Politics (debt ceiling debate) Entertainment (Reality TV, Jerry Springer, sports, etc.) Education (in the classroom)

Debate in the classroom Many teachers pursue debate. Appears productive/educational. In reality, students are often simply bludgeoning one another with their positions, while most are uninvolved. Subtleties, nuances, complexities ignoredGross/dramatic statements. IMPORTANT: Points never conceded.

(Short-term) Rewards of Debate Debate is the easy way out in the classroom for many teachers/leaders in other arenas. Easy to set up, and results are flashy:Loud, argumentative banterAppearance of excitement (in participants)As opposed to dialogue, where learning how to integrate ideas and explore subtleties and complexities is much harder but with quieter, more long-term rewardsWhere did the Culture of Debate come from? Deeply rooted in Western tradition. Greeks fascinated with adversativeness in language and thought. All-male character of universities a contributing factor. Teaching was war with students. Learning accomplished by aggressively debating teachers on the points. Not so in the EastEastern Tradition of Dialogue Chinese reject debate as incompatible withharmony cultivated by scholars. Enlighten rather than overwhelm. Overwhelm in education? A contradiction in terms, since the defeated are defeated, not learn-ed. Greece truth gained from opposition. China emphasis on harmony and balance via talk (dialogue).Never stepping back Greek Tradition & Socratic Method do not allow debaters to step back from individual points. Can only see the tactical debate, rather than collaborating to create a new solution. In other words, focusing on the points already created meaning does not allow for creating new meaning. Example: political parties.Getting Beyond Dualism We see issues as absolute and irreconcilable principlesat war. As opposed to Yin and Yang. Opposite elements that coexist and create balance when together. Leadership practice: have subordinates compare three ideas instead of two. Eliminates dualism pitfalls (liberal vs. conservative, left vs. right, etc.).Tannens Suggestions Dont demonize those with whom you disagree. Dont affront deep moral commitments Dont talk about rights. Instead, talk about needs, wants, and interests. Leave really touchy issues out of it. BUT do not be so conciliatory or collaborative that you concede core beliefs or values.William IsaacsA Conversation with a Center, Not SidesOr.learning how to develop capacity for advancing good dialogue

Capacity for New BehaviorIsaacs introduces this point (confusingly) with the title Producing Coherent Actions. By producing coherent actions, Isaacs means ensuring our words and actions are consistent...or "coherent.

Capacity for New Behavior (continued)Often individuals say one thing, do another. This is often due to defensive emotions, among other reasons. "Of course, I can complete the project on time," we say, thinking "I can't believe she assigned this project this late in the semester, since I will probably fail."Seeking Coherence(imagine characters are unemployed)

Predictive IntuitionConstructs (co-workers, management, organizational structure, and external stakeholders) can nullify our best intentions and prevent success.Leaders must identify those forces, anticipate them, and neutralize them. Isaacs calls this Creating Fluid Structures of Interaction.

Predictive Intuition (cont.) Leadership practice: Predictive Intuition comes into play with employees who tend to interfere with collaboration on a certain project or when another team member is opposed to completing a project a certain way. Suggestion: Communicate with the manager about the project or pursue the project with a team member in a way that both of you will find acceptable.

Architecture of the InvisibleMany forces at work when people interact.Many are directly involved in preventing common ground and the creation of shared meaning. People go into predictably difficult conversations in a defensive, anxious emotional state. In such a state, listening becomes difficult.

Architecture of the Invisible (cont.)Defensiveness = Objective becomes defending one's position at all costs, even not listening to the other side. Also at play: Judgments and stereotyping based on past interaction with counterparty or persons similar to the counterparty.End result: complete and total failure in collaboration and compromise.No solution to the problem (debt ceiling.)

Architecture of the Invisible (cont.)Good leaders identify these emotions and work to neutralize them during key conversations (significant other, supervisor, or professor).Learn to go into the dialogue in a better emotional stateEliminate the effects of the "invisible architectureTruly listen to the counterparty's position.This is one of the only possible ways to ID room for a potential compromise and acceptable solution.

Speak Your True Voice

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