A Bestiary of the Plasticine Era

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    A BESTIARY OF THE PLASTICINE ERA

    by E. J. Ward

    When the ice melted at the end of the last Ice Age a n!m"e# of cha#ming

    and ag#eea"le c#eat!#es $e#e #e%ealed shelte#ing !nde# #oc&s hiding in

    ca%es and s!"me#ged at the "ottom of slim' (ools)

    ALE*AN+ER +OLORES CHRISTOPHER

    A+OLPH,S ALICE SHEILA

    These (leasant and $ell-manne#ed indi%id!als ate flo$e#s attended coffee-

    mo#nings (#actised thei# (iano (ieces .man' achie%ed /#ade Eight01 and

    en#olled at the O(en ,ni%e#sit' fo# the' (#o%ed to ha%e an insatia"le

    c#a%ing fo# self-im(#o%ement and en#iching thei# inne# landsca(e) Not all

    f!lfilled thei# (otential alas "!t the' all had a go)We ha%e onl' the s(ace he#e to int#od!ce a handf!l2

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    ALEXANDER

    Ale3ande# is a "a"' dinosa!# a"andoned "' (a#ents $ho $ent o!t fo#aging fo#

    "#ea&fast one mo#ning and ne%e# fo!nd thei# $a' "ac&) .Tho!gh cha#ming in e%e#'

    othe# #es(ect +inosa!#s do not ha%e %e#' la#ge "#ains as 'o! &no$)1 Ho$e%e# he

    li%es at the "ottom of a slime (it $he#e he has (lent' of g#een algae .S(i#!lina1 $hich

    is one of the most n!t#ient-dense foods on the (lanet and an im(o#tant so!#ce of

    dieta#' (#otein %itamin B and I#on) The n!t#itional %al!e of S(i#!lina is also #ecognised

    in the t#eatment of Weight Loss .fo# Ale3ande# does not get a"o!t m!ch and has to

    $atch his $aistline)1 And of co!#se it has a "eneficial effect on his s&in colo!#

    enhancing the gloss of his att#acti%e eme#ald hide) He desc#i"es his ho""ies as

    4listening to The A#che#s and $atching #e(eats of Cash in the Attic5 $hich $e #ega#d

    as a (e#ilo!s com"ination fo# a "a"' animal $ith a geneticall' limited intellect!al

    ca(acit') Also he loo&s #athe# "ilio!s to !s and $e feel he needs to get o!t mo#e)

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    DOLORES

    T#agicall' o#(haned $hile still in the egg +olo#es ne%e# &ne$ he# (a#ents and has

    conse6!entl' de%elo(ed a (assion fo# light %e#se and $ate#colo!# (ainting $hich ease

    he# so##o$ and sense of loss) She &ee(s he# fig!#e "' m!nching on high-(#otein

    $ildflo$e#s called fo#"s and (e#fo#ming Pilates e3e#cises e%e#' mo#ning "efo#e Piano

    (#actice) He# s$eet nat!#e and gentle dis(osition ha%e gained he# man' f#iends and a

    de%oted follo$ing on Face"oo&) He# deceased mothe# $as a P#es"'te#ian $hich

    sho$s that good "#eeding $ill o!t) Ho$e%e# $e a#e a little ala#med "' the n!m"e# of

    (hotog#a(hs of Angela Ri((on on he# $all)

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    CHRISTOPHER

    Ch#isto(he# is an !nashamed disci(le of mo#(hic #esonance and antici(ates his f!t!#e

    de%elo(ment $ith some enth!siasm) .He is ho(ing to e%ent!all' achie%e the

    e%ol!tiona#' stat!s of stic& insect)1 Tho!gh his %ocation as a (a#ticle (h'sicist $as

    some$hat (#e7!diced "' $hat R!(e#t Sheld#a&e &indl' #efe##ed to as his 4leaf

    de(endenc'5 .as he is in fact (a#t %egeta"le and is !na"le to se(a#ate himself f#om

    his en%i#onment1 his s!(e#io# a"ilities in highe# mathematics ma&e it clea# he has an

    academic ca#ee# ahead of him) His landma#& (a(e# on anal'tical n!m"e# theo#' 4Can

    8 9 8:5 ma#&s him o!t as a (o$e#f!l and o#iginal thin&e# fo# o!# age)

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    ADOLPHUS

    Adol(h!s is an a#tist ; a #a#e c#eat!#e inha"iting the s(ace "et$een t$o $o#lds 'et

    comfo#ta"le in neithe#) He sees it as his mission to conc#etise the ineffa"le ma&e

    manifest the ine3(#essi"le sa' the !nsa'a"le thin& the !nthin&a"le and (aint the

    in%isi"le) His m!sic is "ased on the a"sence of notes .4those (oll!ting a"e##ations that

    infect o!# melodies51 and his sc!l(t!#e is 4defined "' the s(ace $ithin a s(ace5 and

    cannot "e a((#ehended "' the !s!al sense o#gans) He is of co!#se a geni!s and

    s!ffe#s m!ch)

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    ALICE

    Alice is a (olitical animal) He# "ac&g#o!nd in Economics and Social Sciences

    cont#i"!tes to he# catego#ical (osition on the Pensions +isa"ilit' +og licences Home

    Im(#o%ement /#ants /a#dening fo# the Elde#l' and Food Contamination de"ates) A

    fe#%ent %egeta#ian !na"le to digest an' food that is not "#o$n she is committed to a

    d#astic #efo#m of the S(eed Rest#ictions on S!(e#ma#&et T#olle's Bill conside#ing its

    im(lications fo# +isc#imination against the Elde#l' and Infi#m $ho she feels a#e the

    %ictims of these dange#o!s illicit (#actices) Well +one Alice)

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    SHEILA

    Sheila is the onl' one of o!# f#iends $ith an identit' (#o"lem fo# she is fai#l' ce#tain

    she $as "o#n a