2/27/2017 EDGE San Francisco, CA :: Blood Tango

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Entertainment

Blood Tangoby Adam BrinklowEDGE Media Network ContributorTuesday Feb 16, 2016

You haven't lived until you've seen "Blood Tango."

That's not to say that "Blood Tango" is a good show. It mightactually be the worst production we've ever seen. And yet, soaudacious, so unpredictable and so unrestrained are the thingsthat make it bad, that you soon begin to 宅nd them fascinating.Disaster though it is, Bay Area theatergoers are cheatingthemselves if they miss the opportunity to experience everybewildering minute of this precious mess.

"Blood Tango" is a loose musical adaptation of "Dracula." We'vealready lost you, haven't we? This show, written and directed byJohn McMullen, only barely resembles Bram Stoker's book, butthat is true of almost every stage and 宅lm adaptation of BramStoker's book, so it hardly matters.

Dracula (Robyn Gray) has come to the home of Dr. Seward(Chris Westphal) to be treated for the exotic illness that makeshim allergic to sunlight, a disease he caught from SouthAmerican vampire bats. The count is Transylvanian by way of

Argentina this time, so that he can spread some scandalous tango moves throughout the household on topof vampirism.

Inevitably, he begins creeping on the good doctor's two daughters, bad girl Lucy (Dee Wagner) and scholarlyBlossom (Melody Perera). Both the girls have other love interests in the house, including doddering alcoholicDr. Helsinger (John Hale), whose accent is the only thing more elusive than the house vampire.

There's also an Irish maid who is psychic, an obnoxious Cockney butler, and of course the madman Ren宅eld,who attempts several animated musical numbers while strapped into a straightjacket (respectively, ElenaRuggiero, Austin Pearce, and John McMullen himself. McMullen looks like a windblown John Hurt and,strangely, appears utterly uncomfortable in his own play, mostly talking his way through the songs).

Very early in "Blood Tango" you have to decide whether or not this show is trying to be campy, before theproceedings use up all of the elasticity your sanity has to o芨er. But it's a tough call.

But when the maid and the count have a 宅ght, she armed only with her trusty broom? That's a tough call.When Dracula gets so heated from tangoing that on the spot he turns from a soft-spoken, sensitivegentleman into a loon who prances, cackles and waves a razor around like he's the Joker? That's a tough call.Near as we can tell, this is all being played serious. Your results may vary.

There just aren't words to tell you what this show is really like. We could talk all day about the pileup ofaccents, the fumbling prom-night awkwardness of the love scenes, or the string of escalating plot twists sosurreal that they make you squirm in your seat and bite your lip to keep from asking out loud, "Is this really

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2/27/2017 EDGE San Francisco, CA :: Blood Tango

http://sanfrancisco.edgemedianetwork.com/entertainment///191542 2/3

surreal that they make you squirm in your seat and bite your lip to keep from asking out loud, "Is this reallyhappening?" But it wouldn't be enough.

And the music? You might think from the opening ensemble number, 宅lled with notes 䃊at as paving stones,that these are the Bay Area's nine worst vocalists, but you'd be wrong. Gray, for example, actually has a 宅nevoice in his somber 宅rst tune, about the storied history of his ancient family.

And poor Geo芨rey Colton (he's Harker, here Lucy's graying Lothario 宅ance) has a downright beautiful solo,singing his heartbreak when he realizes his wife-to-be's a芨ections have been stolen. But even the decentvoices are mangled by the other songs, forced into a low-octave, Latin cabaret style that sounds like a cankicked down an elevator shaft, laden with lyrics so ridiculous they're like pins in your arm.

Look, we don't like writing mean things about a program like this. God bless these people; they're workinghard. But we're totally sincere when we say that "Blood Tango" is brilliant. Not good; but brilliant. You can'thelp but love just how hysterical and singular a disaster it is.

In a just world, this musical would go on to become a cult classic in the style of movies like "The Room" and"Troll 2," playing to sold-out crowds who howl in jubilant, delighted disbelief at its foibles for years to come.As it stands, it will probably become a bizarre secret, shared only by those who see it this time.

And you will really be missing out if you're not one of those people.

"Blood Tango" plays through March 13 at the Paci�c Boychoir Academy in Oakland, 215 Ridgeway Avenue. Fortickets and information, call 510-459-8264 or visit PiedmontOaklandRep.org

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