A safe, supportive facility where you can grow a new future

4 Ways To Get A Loved One Into RehabDual Diagnosis Alcohol and Drug Treatment Center

Alcohol and other substance abuse and co-morbid mental health issues are a huge and ongoing problem in the U.S. today.

According to the 2015 NSDUH, 15.1 million adults ages 18 and older (6.2 percent of this age group) had AUD and an estimated 623,000 adolescents ages 12–17 (2.5 percent of this age group) had AUD. 1

And consider opioid misuse; in 2016 alone, an estimated 11.8 million people had misused opioids in the past year, including 11.5 million pain reliever misusers and 948,000 heroin users.2

How do we help those we love who are suffering from substance addiction? It all begins with an outstretched hand—and a compassionate ear. When listening to identify the root of the issue for alcohol, opioid, and other substance problems, it helps to understand that you’re dealing with an Equal Opportunity Destroyer—and that you’re not alone. Alcohol and other substance use disorders (SUDs) affect millions of families—impacting all races, ethnicities, and socio-economic groups, including people of faith across all religions.

1 NIH: National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism (2015). Retrieved from https://www.niaaa.nih.gov/publications/brochures-and-fact-sheets/alcohol-facts-and-statistics2 Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration. (2017). Key substance use and mental health indicators in the United States: Results from the 2016 National Survey on Drug Use and Health (HHS Publication No. SMA 17-5044, NSDUH Series H-52). Rockville, MD: Center for Behavioral Health Statistics and Quality, Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration. Retrieved from https://www.samhsa.gov/data/

IT ALL STARTS WITH UNDERSTANDING.

That being said, there is still a stigma attached to addiction that makes reaching those impacted a challenge. Shame, guilt and remorse are feelings that most sufferers of substance misuse—and even their families—continue to experience.

While it is NOT uncommon for loved ones to be opposed to rehab suggested by concerned family members, it is uncommon for those same family members to get the facts that will aid them in helping the loved one see the light and get on board.

At Serenity Grove, we use these four effective strategies of Community Reinforcement and Family Training, CRAFT for short, to provide comprehensive education and guidance to our client families. Written by Robert J. Myers, Ph.D., Get Your Loved One Sober contains strategies that are evidence-based. We’re happy to share these strategies in this guide.

Congratulations on already taking action on this first strategy. By engaging with this guide, you’ve already demonstrated a desire, willingness, and the ability to ask for help—and that is a great beginning.

Most family members who want a loved one to enter treatment or get sober see it as just that person’s problem. It’s easy to understand why family members feel this way. However, the reality is that addiction and substance use disorders affect the entire family unit.

When the situation has gotten so bad that family members have begun to aggressively seek ways to get their loved one to enter counseling, check into a treatment program, or participate in a church or recovery support group, the substance use disorder (SUD) has begun to impact everyone. All who are exposed to the individual are personally suffering in one way or another.

Your loved one changes when the drinking or use of other substances have gotten this bad—and these changes can be dramatically different from the “old” person your family knew before. Those changes, the uncertainty, and the consequences

that often result, change the moods, thoughts, and actions of all family members in a significant way.

Changes in family members often occur in pace with the loved one’s worsening addictive behaviors. The person with the addiction often cannot see how bad things have gotten. Similarly, impacted loved ones and friends at times cannot fully grasp how much the situation has affected the way they engage, communicate, and respond to the hurtful, inappropriate, and risky behaviors the addicted person may expose them to.

The first strategy is to ask for help. It is a sign of strength—and a way to move forward.

STRATEGY 1:ASK FOR HELP.

If you’re like most family members of a person who needs professional substance abuse help, you’re hurt, angry, and afraid for a myriad of reasons: health and safety issues, impact on kids, and how it is affecting your life and the lives of others both inside and outside the family. There may also be practical concerns like financial fear, liability worries, and the potential legal aspects from the consequences of things that happen when a loved one is intoxicated or even in a blackout. You’re not alone in dealing with these powerful concerns.

With a better understanding of those feelings and emotions, you will be able to better handle your reactions. With practice, you may even be able to

change those reactions to more well thought out responses.First, understand the nature of emotional hurt and anger as secondary emotions that manifest as symptoms of a primary emotion. For emotional pain and anger, the primary emotion is FEAR. When we’re afraid, it stems from a conscious or subconscious belief that we’re about to lose something we have, or that we’re not going to get something we want. With a loved one in the throes of an active SUD, it’s likely you can relate to both of these. You may be afraid of losing your relationship, your own sanity, financial security, or even the life of the loved one (or others) when violence or risky behaviors are present. It would stand to reason you may also be afraid of not getting something or some things you want desperately, i.e. the loved one’s bad behavior to cease, a long-term and stable marriage or domestic partnership, a stable and nurturing environment for your children to grow up in, or even things like quality time with your partner, special evenings out, attention, trust, and respect. Addiction and SUD can spawn all these fears and more.

So, what are you to do? You can try these two strategies:

STRATEGY 2:

CONSIDER ALTERNATIVES BEYOND BEGGING.

• Be open to the idea of learning to accept that what you have done up to now hasn’t worked or at a minimum hasn’t worked well. When we are open to that idea, we can begin to work on practicing acceptance, and at the same time making changes in how we react and interact with the loved one suffering from SUD.

• Learn to pause what you say, think, feel, or express in a given moment. For many people we work with, this can be the single most important skill they learn.

How many times have you heard, “Change is hard.” To a loved one who suffers from an addiction, undergoing the behavioral changes necessary to get life back on track may seem overwhelmingly difficult. Family members may also find the strength to change a major challenge.

Getting your loved one into treatment may require the changes on your part to begin today. As concerned loved ones of a SUD sufferer, family members can unknowingly become experts at many behaviors that both allow the loved one who is using to continue doing what they are doing and to become master manipulators. We teach them what we will accept, not to mention exactly which buttons to push to get the behaviors they want from us. It’s been said that individual’s with SUD know how to push our buttons so well because they installed them.

Here are three things you and other enabling family members can change right now to help get your loved one into rehab:• Stop Fixing Messes. When you fix, cover up, or hide

messes made by your loved one when they are drinking or using, you often disrupt the consequences of the behavior. Consequences play an important role in moving a SUD sufferer to a place where

behavioral change seems like a better option than continuing the old behavior. It’s a natural response for a spouse, parent, sibling, or friend to want to cover for or help a loved one who makes mistakes while drunk or high. However, there may come a time where consequences are the only thing standing between a decision to take the action necessary to change the behavior.

• Stop Nagging. There is no bigger waste of energy than nagging someone in the throes of active addiction. Few, if any, are moved or swayed to seek help by the pleas and begging from loved ones. Try a new approach: Calmly state how you feel, then withdraw your attention and focus it on something else altogether.

• Stop Protecting in Ways That Actually Hurt. Our best efforts at providing safety for our loved ones can actually be very harmful. Make a list of all the things you do with the intention of making your loved one’s using or drinking “safer” and strongly consider making major changes. For example, think ahead and be prepared to change the ways you handle situations where you have found yourself doing things like, bringing alcohol into the house or providing drug money to your loved one to help them remain “safe”.

STRATEGY 3:ENABLE YOURSELF TO

DISABLE YOUR ENABLING.

Families affected by substance use disorders are the first to admit that communication between family members and the loved one with SUD has devolved into mostly unpleasant interaction and negative commentary.

It also makes sense to most people that if we can begin to move that communication back towards positive statements, we can help more than hurt the chances of getting the loved one into rehab. Let’s look at some specific examples:

These may seem simple and even as if they would not make much difference in your situation. But this way of communicating takes practice. Don’t get hung up on the times you use a negative phrase; focus instead on the times you changed your old communication pattern to positive statements like the ones cited above.

As you get better and better at consistently responding with a positive bent, you may be surprised how your

“You’re a worthless jerk. Why don’t you get off

your butt and get a job. Don’t you have any self-

respect?”

“Every time we go out, I know you’ll get drunk and

screw up everything.”

“You’re drunk. I’m not having sex with you.”

“This place looks like hell. You and your buddies are

a mess.”

“I enjoy you so much when you don’t drink.”

“I enjoy having sex with you when you are sober.”

“I am happy that your friends are able to come over. Could you help me

keep our place tidy so it stays presentable for when my friends visit?”

“I know being without work must be hard for you. Is there anything I

could do to help?”

STRATEGY 4:

NEGATIVE: POSITIVE:PRACTICE POSITIVE STATEMENTS

loved one responds. Better communication is one of the single biggest aspects getting your loved one into rehab.

Again, congratulations on the initiative and time you took to read and better understand 4 Ways To Get A Loved One Into Rehab. Now take what you have learned and put it into practice. If you still have questions, or maybe you have been considering or even planning on an intervention, we are as near as your phone or computer.

NEED HELP NOW?If someone in your family is in trouble with substance use or a

co-occurring condition, the next step is simple: Contact us now at 706.389.5159.

You’ll receive fast, confidential assistance—and our experts will walk you through the assessment, intake or referral process every step of the way.

Please note that we must schedule appointments and visits in advance to protect client confidentiality.

Contact Us

315 Newton Bridge Rd, Athens, GA 30607

(706) 389-5157

info@serenitygrove.com

www.serenitygrove.com