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4 Effective Practices for Gaining Perspective
Sep 19th, 2007 by Peter
Note: this is a guest article from Todd Goldfarb who blogs about a range of topics, including personal development, atWe The Change.
As human beings it is inevitable that at some point in our lives we will develop feelings of sadness,hopelessness and even depression. These emotions can be brought on by something personal like
losing a job, a failed relationship, or a serious health issue for you or a loved one; or sometimes they
are triggered by something more global like corrupt political systems, war, or the knowledge that
there are starving children all over the world.
Regardless, we are just people and no matter how hard we may try to mitigate negative emotions,
they persist. The purpose of this article is NOT to explain to you how detrimental these negative
feelings are, but rather give some practical tools for gaining perspective amid these rough times.
Living with perspective means always looking at your life from the 10,000 foot level, and when you
entrain yourself to pull back and view yourself from this height things begin to look a little different.
More often than not, they begin to look much better.
So HOW do we do it? Here are four effective practices for gaining perspective:
1. Read
Delving into a well-written book can really speak to your soul, and is an excellent practice to feeling
life from the vantage point of someone else. More specifically read a book that is told from the
vantage point of an older person or someone towards their end of his/her life. Ask yourself: what
would this older person who can barely walk and do anything by herself do if she were placed in my
body? Begin acting as this person would if she had the ability to switch bodies with you.
I recently finished Water for Elephants by Sara Gruen which was a partial narrative by a 93 year old
man looking back at his days in the circus during the Great Depression. Although his time in the circus was marked with struggle and fear he
reflects on those days as the most memorable of his life. Are YOU right here, right now, living those days? Tuesdays with Morrie by Mitch
Albom is another wonderful tale that I highly recommend.
2. Seek out an older grandparent, great uncle or someone you know who is 80+ years and initiate a purpose-filled conversation.
Ask them about their most cherished memories and listen to them as they talk of the past, when they were
young and vibrant and full of hope. Understand that they also had feelings of fear, sadness and struggle (just
like you have), but get the sense that they would do anything to go back in time and re-live those moments.
Ask them if they would do things differently or exactly the same. Come away from this conversation with the
understanding that right now YOU are the one living the life you will speak of when you are older.
One of my biggest regrets is that I knew and remember all four of my grandparents, but never had the good
sense to ask them specifically about their lives. If you still have these people around, seek them out; they are
your family and they love you. The conversation will be beneficial to them as well and gives them the
opportunity to share what they have learned, and they will appreciate your asking!
3. Volunteer
There are countless people all over the world who are in need of assistance, and volunteering your time and energy
enables you to perform a selfless act that simply helps others. However, volunteering does not have to be
completely selfless; in fact I would argue that becoming a volunteer is a wonderful way to gain perspective in your
own life (and not in the ?oh, look how badly these people have it and thank God I?m me? way).
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Volunteering is unique in that it gives you a very pure opportunity to connect with people that you may never have
met otherwise. I am always surprised by how much I learn about myself through relationships I never would have
forged if I hadn?t volunteered my time. ?Giving back? reaps perspective.
4. Examine the actions of kids 5 years and younger
If you have your own kids, then you know what I am talking about. If not, then go to a park where
little kids play and simply watch what they do (be careful not to appear like some crazy person)! If
you tune in and become really aware of them, it?s amazing to observe how all little kids act with a
similar reckless abandon. They simply do exactly what they want to do, all the time.
Aside from being absolutely hilarious, there is a serious lesson of perspective to be learned here.
Remember, you were once just like these little people, but as you have gotten older you have gone
away from acting with such a care-free attitude and become a ?serious, responsible adult?. As you are
watching these kids, ask yourself if it wouldn?t feel nice to be like that again, even for a little while.
Final Thoughts
Gaining perspective in your life is an important exercise that you must purposefully develop. By reading good books, speaking with older
relatives, volunteering and observing little kids you can start to get a more rounded view of the world you are living. As you partake in these
activities, entrain yourself to start looking at your life outside the realm of your current circumstances; see yourself as if 40 years from the
future, and 30 years from the past. We all have very real problems and situations to deal with; some are in our control while others are not.
The only thing that we really have control of is our emotions when dealing with situations. Gaining perspective is a wonderful tool for
sustaining a meaningful and fulfilling life!
Todd Goldfarb is a business consultant and entrepreneur located in Manhattan, New York. Over the last several years Todd has given
over a hundred web-based presentations and more than a dozen conference lectures on sales tactics and how to market a small business;
he has also published a myriad of articles on these subjects. Todds passion for nutrition, alternative healing and spiritual practices lead
him back to school (in his spare time) where he became a certified holistic health counselor. He founded We The Change as a platform
for sharing his unique and diverse perspective on how to be successful both in business and in personal life. In 2006, Todd was featured
in New York Times Columnist Marci Albohers bookOne Person Multiple Careers as someone who runs two thriving, yet seemingly
unrelated businesses.
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Posted in Self Improvement, Life, Wellbeing, Happiness | 2 Comments
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2 Responses to 4 Effective Practices for Gaining Perspective
on 19 Sep 2007 at 4:17 pm1Jason
Very nice article, and I agree with all four points. The perspective that you gain helps you to see that you are your own person and are
who you choose to be. You can choose to take advantage of opportunities that arise, or you can choose to hold back out of fear or
simply being uncomfortable (which is really just a very low grade fear). Old people look back and realize this, but feel its too late.
Children realize this, but mostly have it trained out of them. Watching, or talking to, either of these groups can help you see it, too
and at a time when you are most able to take advantage of it.
1.
on 19 Sep 2007 at 5:47 pm2Peter
Thanks for the guest post Todd! I loved this article and agree 100% that it is so important to gain perspective in life. So many people
experience unnecessary stress and anguish because they live their entire life on the runway. Whilst it is important to do this, it is just
as important to be able to look down on your life from 10,000 feet.
2.
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