文

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羅

翎

瑋

V O I C E

　　寫文章時「我」字是個禁忌，也許因為談自己是大家都有的欲

望，職業寫作的人以職業之便津津樂道於他自己，易遭沒有話語權

的讀者忌恨；而讀者，讀者就是衣食父母呵。大眾的心理好像是不

高興有人享受自己的職業，一個醫生享受手術臺上的殺伐決斷，一

個老師享受學生的恭順，一個演員享受目光的洗禮，這些都似乎不

大正派，絕不能像一個中世紀的牧童享受他的孤獨一樣昂然自得。

為了迎合這種心理，一般演員上節目總以訴苦為主調，怎樣拍落

水的戲，怎樣吃盒飯，怎樣兩地分居……我媽綜藝節目看多了，堅

決的對我說，「演員這工作不是人看的」。其實哪個職業都有辛苦

之處，一般的職業沒有那麼多的機會上電視說給你聽而已。再說演

戲到底是有趣的。表演欲是廣泛存在的欲望，看小女孩們遊戲就知

道，「我們來假裝……」「假裝你是……」「我是……」；節目裡的

女明星低眉輕語「為了藝術啊」；又如母親對孩子的嬌嗔責怪「都

是為了你」。其實要是眼前的孩子忽然死掉了，她多半得想方設法

地再弄一個來，重新過上晝夜操勞的日子。所以與其多嫌著現在的

這個孩子，不如高高興興承認晝夜操勞乃母性本能。

　　寫作的動機當然在於「我」字，為了表達這一個渺小的軀殼裡湧

動的情與思。自我表達是第一動因，沒有別的能和它比肩。奧威爾

在《Why I WrIte》裡還提到過幾個動因，政治，歷史，審美。捫心

自問，我覺得它們在我身上都不夠強，三樣加在一起，也不足夠讓

我寫出一篇一寫完就丟進抽屜的政論文──因為丟進抽屜所以不能影

響他人的觀點，不能作歷史的憑證，政論文的美又實在有限。只是

為了自我表達，為了我腦海中有一條美麗的魚兒來回游著，我不能

不捉住它，即使捉住以後也只是丟進抽屜裡。

　　所以寫文章是不能沒有「我」的。不過什麼是「我」呢？「我」

關懷著花朵與遠古的哲人，有時在思辨裡遊戲，有時又在宇宙的

混沌裡棲息。壞文章不是因為裡面有了「我」而壞掉的，而是因為

那個「我」不好。為了要寫好文章，寫作的人也許格外注重修身養

德，年深日久，有望變得較好一點。

　　看到尼采在《悲劇的起源》裡竭力地為抒情詩人辯護，說他

們的詩歌裡似是「有我」其實是達到了「無我」之境。說也奇

怪，尼采的文字裡從來都是很鮮明的有著他自己的形象呀，他原

來也覺得有我是劣等的嗎？也許因為荷馬史詩的傳統？但《奧賽

羅》裡盲詩人的形象何嘗不是濃墨重彩的？至於我們中國嘛，我

們中國太擠了，詩人雖行在山陰道上，我總疑心正有許多眼睛看

著他，而他自己也知道。陶潛不是說欲辨已忘言，可見有個對話

的物件存在，雖是個凡夫俗子卻是必不可少的。俗世默默牽著詩

人，他雖已融化在一片綠色裡，但仍寫出詩歌來勾勒出一個自

己。

73

V O I C E

William ShakeSpeare!

by Karmen Cheung

i hate you!

75

I burst into tear because I fell into your brutal hug! William Shakespeare, the most cunning man in the world! You taught me what love is in the most graceful and yet ridiculous way. Youth, beauty, virginity. They are not the food of love. They are nothing but a lure to devastation. No love is ever-green, you despicable conman. How could you show me heaven and then dump me into hell? How could you deprive me of hope, pushing me into the abyss of darkness? Now the stars can no longer light up my world. Music is torturing like the sound of a scratched CD. You took away my tranquility as I wept and wept all night.

When I first fell for you, you looked easy. Singing and dancing gracefully on stage. Saying the most beautiful words out of your genuine heart, like a play. The time I spent with you was pleasurable. That was the first time I peeked into the mysterious world ever. Full of wonder and puzzles! A world which drove me crazy and drove away my common sense! Every word you whispered tasted sweet for no reason. I remember the time you let me play Juliet in our bedroom. The gullible me wept for the ever-young boy who would die for me, a fourteen-year-old teen who he had just met. Liar! Both Juliet and Romeo, they were just attracted by the beauty of their masks. Why did you lure me into wearing this mask of venom?

Oh William! What a legendary figure whom everybody admires. You could bring us fortunes, fame and desire but you did not. You stabbed my back and dropped my shattered body into the SEA. Graded as a loser, I lost my light in my world. Everything is so fucked up now. I hate YOU! William Shakespeare. How can I heal from the scar you made?

You are a man bearing your sin. You made the world dumb. Everyone acts as foolish as you, just you without your graceful manner. Oh! I am so sick of those dramas. Yet those dramas mirrored you, the naked you. If you did not know a shit about literature, you would be just like them. The foolish world praises your childish perspective of love, and I was punished for knowing you are nothing. Screw you, William Shakespeare! Fuck off!

V O I C E

On the white bed sheet

Our very first time

Our utopia

You make me high

You make me fly

Your kisses make me feel sixteen,

Forever.

Your skin like porcelain

Electric

Your long lashes

Entranced

Under the starry night

We sparkle

BloomBy michelle ho

77

兩年前，我坐在這裡，等待面試，緊張着；

兩年後，我坐在這裡，幫忙面試，仍是緊張着。

又一次的入學Interview，角色不同了，心態亦不同了。看着面試的同學，有苦笑的，有自信的，有緊張

的，有戰戰兢兢地坐在我面前……我看見當年當刻的自己。強裝成熟的西裝，以微笑掩飾恐懼的面貌，少少

的運氣和僅有的自信，我被錄取了。

面試吧，我們隨着成長，自願地，被逼地經歷了不少。我在想，短短的3分鐘就能反映出我的人格和優點

嗎？自我介紹是我的心聲，還是世俗想聽到的標準答案？我一生的成就難道就是那幾段CV上的白紙黑字

嗎？

對不起。面試要知道的，是您人生中不同章節的結果，不是過程；

對不起。電腦程式看不明客觀內容以外的東西；

對不起。握手，關門，微笑，發問，和取悅是加分位，沒有做的，請回家等通知；

對不起。您的說話太真，真得讓人感到虛偽，同情分為零。

就是這樣，我們經歷了無數場有潛規則的「公平競賽」，被一段等待杯麵熟透的時間評論了我們一生的成就

和性格。

最終勝出的，其實，得到了又贏到甚麼？

看似失敗的，其實，沒甚麼真的輸了吧。

每一位勇敢的挑戰者，祝您們好運吧。輸掉面試不要緊，至少不要輸掉您的人格和修養。其實，能順利完成

面試，不論結果如何，也值得鼓掌，值得驕傲。

文/K

面試

V O I C E

A Short Story:

by: hanna

how to tame a NeoN tiger

So I came in with the others. There we were: boat full of newbies.

You immediately started calling us names. Others you called Banan-

as, because despite being yellow on the outside (Chinese) they were

overseas born and thus too white on the insides. One group you called

Eggs, because they clearly weren’t Chinese on the outside, but tried

so hard to be Chinese (yellow) on the inside. Me you just called ghost,

because I was very white from inside out. I put all that aside, because

immediately was mesmerized by the beauty of your lights and couldn’t

believe my luck that I had the chance to live in your territory. The

others kept taking pictures of you and bragging to people back their

homes that you smell like “big money”. I just thought you smelled like

something exciting I didn’t understand, like an adventure and endless

drive and tried to grab your attention to say “hi” and get to know you.

You didn’t seemed to care, didn’t even gave me a glance. However I

decided to try to settle in anyway.

The others went drinking on other parts of your territory and mostly

hung out with other ghosts, eggs and bananas. I decided not to, be-

cause I knew that it was not your real territory that you value and is

the real deal and if I ever wanted to get to know you, I had to hang out

where you do. Since the friendly approach didn’t work, I decided to try

the tactic from the Harry Potter books on how they deal with Buckbeak

the hippogriff. In order to win the respect of the creature, a non-hip-

pogriff has to bow to the animal, the hippogriff bows back and then you

can climb on its back and fly. But one really has to bow first, otherwise

the creature will feel disrespected and will try to hurt you to protect its

ego and there is no hope for flying. No matter how humiliating it felt at

times, I tried to bow first for every occasion.

Oh, you made it so very sure that I kept my head down. All I remember

from the beginning was climbing the endless uphill in heat, while piling

endless pile of tasks on my shoulder. And every time I tried to lift my head

from the bow, you would scratch me with your claws and try to bite my

head off while screaming to me in a language I don’t understand only to

leave me all alone and puzzled by what just happened. At the end of the

first circle some of the others decided to leave for good, because they

thought you were too harsh and I agreed. I mean you never even bothered

to try to call me with my real name and actually kept making fun of it. I still

thought that we might become friends one day if we gave time to it and

decided to stay anyway.

The second cycle started, again, the other ghosts, eggs and bananas kept

treating your territory like a giant amusement park. I felt even more distant

from them and was ashamed how they were my people and still had very

little respect towards you. During my time away between the cycles I real-

ly learned to see I could never in a million years tame you, but I was really

optimistic of us becoming friends. I mean, you just had to remember me

from the previous cycle – right? Turns out, I couldn’t be more wrong. Even

though I had learned to eat with chopsticks, understood that everyone

has to scream all the time and how giggle was a totally acceptable answer

to a serious question, all you still did was to point out how I was different

from you and still didn’t speak your language. So uphill in the heat it was

again with more things on my shoulders. What was different this time was

that even though I kept dropping and breaking them at accelerating rate,

somehow towards the end of the cycle I learned how to juggle with multi-

ple things at the same time and didn’t drop that many things. I wanted to

leave so bad, but realize it was too late so I had to stay anyways.

The last cycle and I couldn’t describe my relief; everything will come to an

end. I didn’t even bother to try to meet the egg-ghosts and listen to their

stupid comments on how they cannot find the capital of Singapore from

the map. My strategy to deal with you for the rest of the time was to hang

out on the parts of the territory that were some kind of neutral ground: not

the amusement park part, but the ones that weren’t your true, real ground

either. Occasionally you would still keep screaming at me, how I wasn’t

like you and how I should change even my very core value in me in order

to become like you, so you could accept me, but I didn’t bother to care

anymore. I also got used to how you always closed me out from everything

by only speaking your language and wasn’t offended anymore when the

only times you approached me was to show me off to other tigers on the

territory, that you have this ghost on yours, because I guess it is somehow

cool. I was just trying to enjoy the good bits and was counting the days to

the end when I would finally leave.

Why is it so, that I still am mesmerized by your beauty every time you blink

your beautiful neon lights like I was on the first day when I arrived? And

why am I missing you so bad when I will have already left when you would

read this, my dear Neon Tiger? Because during my time wandering on your

territory, I really saw who you are when the showcase lights are off and the

worn off parts could be seen, despite how hard you tried to hide your true

self from me. Seeing that, I fell in love with you even more. I also noticed

that the ghosts and eggs going to amusement park were not the worse

group you have let into your territory. Everywhere, there are hunters just

optimizing the opportunities to exploit you as efficiently as they can. There

really is a massive price on your head and some of the hunters have no

respect towards you whatsoever. They are willing to do whatever it takes

to get the prize and to make you a rug in front of their fireplace and to

put your head on the wall as a trophy. White very often means death and

some of them has no sympathy whatsoever on restraining your beauty.

So just make sure that the next generation of tigers won’t sell you and

your territory to the hunters for some quick profits. Your traditions, cul-

ture, rivers and beauty worth more than that, they are some of the most

beautiful things I have ever seen. The colorful festival lights, the family

gatherings, the endless drive to perfection, the respect for past gener-

ations, the healthy values, holistic approaches and the echoes of an-

cient civilizations from the old stone walls are things that the hunters and

amusement parkers could really learn from, if they would just open their

eyes and see that they are no superior to you in any way. But the truth

is that they might never open their eyes and see that, like you never saw

me right in front of you. You are far too pure and bold to let others divide

you to pieces ever again and the only way to stop it from happening is to

open your eyes – you are worth it.

Even though I have no idea how to tame you - heck, I have never learned

the tricks to even live beside you in a way that would make you accept

me - my deepest wish is that you never let the others change you one bit.

With this story, which was inspired by the song called Neon Tiger by my all-time favourite band The Killers, I wish to thank CityPrint for the wonderful three years I had the opportunity to be a writer for the magazine. I want to give my special thanks to Brian and Veronica, who saw beyond my skin colour and mother tongue and took me as part of the CityPrint family.

V O I C E

1

昨晚不經意抬頭仰望星空，

意外地發現夜空中不知什麼時候早已佈滿了星星。

上次仰望星空時，

我還能夠數清星星的數量，

而半個多月後的今日，

夜空中已經變得密密麻麻了。

我似乎聽得到它們興奮的喧鬧，絕然不同於塵世的喧囂，卻是清越的聲音在靈魂中激蕩。

它們似在一起狂歡，

演奏著一支穿越億萬年的樂曲，

穿越茫茫宇宙，

穿越無數的星系，

直抵每一個膜拜夜空的人的靈魂深處。

康德的話是亙古不變、顛撲不滅的真理。

的確，唯有心靈受到星空震撼的人，才是純淨的、高尚的、超凡脫俗的，

才是宇宙的傑作，萬物的靈長。

多麼希望從今夜起，

每個晚上都是晴朗的，

灑滿了鑽石一般的星星，

使我有機會每個晚上都能夠懷著朝聖者一般虔誠的心情，

與它們進行靈魂的對話，

從而賦予我能夠繼續作為這偌大宇宙中的一分子前進的力量。

81

3

我去等待流星雨，

卻一無所獲。

絕望之時抬起頭，意外地看到夜空中鑲嵌著比鑽石還要閃耀的星星。

這是一個何其美麗的夜晚！

所有的星星，無論是我熟悉的還是不熟悉的，都悉數到場。

這是一片新開發的礦藏呵！盡是無價的鑽石，奇珍異寶，數不勝數。

如果無法得到鋼琴，就請繁星作琴鍵吧；

如果沒有修長靈巧的手指，就讓我的靈魂來彈奏吧；

如果沒有聽眾，

就讓整個宇宙在靜謐的夢中聆聽吧。

2

夜空掀起了她的帷幕，

即將呈現一場華麗的演出。

繁星是琴鍵，每分每秒的閃爍間，

都能夠感覺到有輕柔的音樂在汩汩流淌。

於是，耳邊的一切聒擾都被世間的純淨過濾，只剩宇宙與我的對話。

夜空中最可愛的事物莫過於雙星了，

宛若親密的朋友，給予人的，不僅是和諧，而且是溫暖。

恰到好處的距離，絕無過分的親狎，只有寧靜與默契。

又似在喁喁私語，傾訴著兩顆心之間秘而不宣的情誼。

突然有種強烈的感覺，那漫天的繁星，簡直是宇宙給人類最大的恩賜。

正如蘇子所言，

「惟江上之秋風，與山間之明月，耳得之而為聲，

目遇之而成色，取之無盡，用之不竭，

是造物者之無盡藏也，而吾與子之所共適。」

陽光與甘霖，是對人類肉體的滿足，而星空，在淺薄粗俗的人面前只不過像家中的天花板一般平淡無奇，

而在內心富有的人面前，卻勝過了一切奇觀勝景。

星辰那縹緲的清輝，似溫柔的眼神，治癒著心靈的創傷，

那渺小的軀體，填補著心靈的殘缺。仰望星空之時，似乎千瘡百孔的心完全為繁星所填補，

完整的心靈承載著軀體冉冉升起，

直抵宇宙的那一端……

忘卻了塵世，忘卻了周遭的一切，只剩在宇宙的宏大面前暈眩。

V O I C E

葉翠花紅，李桃相映醉玲瓏。杜宇倩來誰共伴，臨晚，冉冉斜陽遮暮傘。

桃 源 樓 觀 景

薛頌斯

南鄉 子 ．

83

城園美，天景映詩書。翠竹千峰淩水外，斜陽一抹戀芙蕖。啄影羨游魚。

城 大 剪 影

李沛昱

憶江 南．

V O I C E

有劉氏善藥，嘗避雨於寺，見一僧眼疾日久，幾不能視，告有方可用之，三月得治，僧不諾。雨至夕未竭，遂借榻其下，枕旁有

隙，以一目就窺，有影宛如奇魅舞於庭，手足多似髯髮，鉤曲如鳥爪，大駭，終晚轉側未眠。及朝，告僧疑有鬼為祟，僧笑，道

是院外一柳樹也，曰，本無燭前身，何來燈下影？有目尚未睹全白，何必多此一識耶。

文 / 汶山

盲 僧

85

嘯 天 反 為 風 意 哽 ， 弈 海 總 被 濤 聲 震 。 自 守 黃 昏 多 苦 惱 ， 但 見 高 嶽 懼 紛 紛 。

自 古 王 圖 少 霸 主 ， 千 代 帝 業 多 一 人 。 我 輩 無 妨 觀 天 表 ， 且 看 誰 可 亂 星 辰 。

談 笑 煮 酒 傲 平 生 ， 壯 志 功 名 做 飛 魂 。 由 來 渭 水 垂 釣 客 ， 眼 內 茫 茫 俱 無 爭 。

業．三章文 / 李蕭若

V O I C E

睡美人

心聲的不在

世間無常的魔法　沒有一絲僥倖

美麗的珠寶　離世的妝容

放肆的春意盎然

凝視

擋不住的晨光　乳白色的輕霧

文 / 陳天曦

你心臟的強度

再次牽起我　走入夕陽的迷宮

雞蛋　鮮魚　檸檬　花

空氣中橘色的色彩　滿天滿地的小妖精

樂呵呵的抱抱　柔軟的年月

千言又萬語

萬語又千言

法中的命

請飛向高遠和熙的天空

嗒

吧 　 嗒 　 吧 　 嗒 　 吧 嗒 　 吧 嗒

吧 嗒 　 吧 嗒 　 吧 嗒 　 吧 嗒

文 / 等待

飽 經 歲 月 摧 殘 的 手 ，

輕 輕 的 ，

匍 匐 在 柔 軟 的 泥 土 上 ，

尋 找 著 生 命 中 的 開 端 。

柔 軟 無 比 嬌 嫩 的 手 ，

悄 悄 的 ，

攀 爬 在 曲 折 的 小 徑 上 ，

期 盼 著 生 命 中 的 末 端 。

恆 常 溫 暖 無 比 的 手 ，

靜 靜 的 ，

穿 越 在 兩 端 的 峽 道 上 ，

交 替 著 生 命 中 的 差 異 。

手 與 手 之 間 的 牽 手 ，

慢 慢 的 ，

沉 沒 在 平 坦 的 大 道 上 ，

重 疊 著 生 命 中 的 剪 影 。

V O I C E

當歷史的長河沖刷了一切，當歲月的溪流滌蕩了靈魂，當韶華的

剪影褪去了光彩，所遺留下的，惟有文字。那一個個字，或蒼

勁，或纖巧，或飄逸，或質樸，無不在訴說著一段段悲與歡，離

與合。它們，是我無與倫比的財富。

紅樓綺夢，聊齋燭影，徜徉在古典名著的卷軸之上，我知道，自

己將擁有無價的瑰寶。它們是《紅樓夢》中黛玉的淚；是《聊

齋志異》中嬰寧的笑；是《三國演義》中關羽的義；是《警世恒

言》中玉堂春的悲……書中人的一嗔一怒，一顰一笑，都深深鐫

刻在我眸底。五千載的歷史吟唱不盡，空餘歲月悠悠。書影重

重，演繹多少是非善惡，陰晴圓缺。

有一種變遷叫滄海桑田，有一種變遷叫物是人非，有一種變遷叫

化繭成蝶。而亙古不變的，是那流傳至今的一闋闋詞，一首首

詩。古典詩詞的光芒永不消逝。我常常沉醉其間，拾級而上，讓

思接千載，心遊八荒。忘不了李後主「昨夜夢魂中」的多少恨；

忘不了易安「才下眉頭，卻上心頭」的幾多愁；忘不了秦觀「自

在飛花輕似夢」的千縷憂；忘不了柳永「停燈向晚，抱影無眠」

的悲切傷痛。嫣然搖動，冷香飛上詩句。好一處楊柳岸，好一滴

紅蠟淚，好一段玉簟秋，好一個月如鉤。透過一個個文字，我仿

佛看到了他們的亡國之痛，仕途之碎，喪夫之悲，憂國之思，失

意之悔。

精深清麗的文字，不僅僅存於古代，它還在離我們並不遙遠的

地方綻放出絢麗的花枝。

那是舊上海，是徐志摩與陸小曼的上海，是兵荒馬亂的上海，

是煙花似錦的上海。我總是會在那裡嗅到二三十年代的氣息，

哥特式的建築和百年前的老屋，黯淡的大理石依舊在最熱的夏

天帶來涼爽。在燈紅酒、綠紙醉金迷中，文字仍不消退它深

刻的睿智與內涵。她就是在這裡，用筆勾勒出了一段《傾城之

戀》。她，張愛玲，描寫過弄堂裡迷醉的風，描寫過旗袍上最

幽豔的花紋，描寫過太太小姐們繁瑣的花飾，將一座完整的上

海城融進她的文字。每當我讀著她的文字，總覺得我手中捧著

的，是一件價值連城的寶物。

還有，還有，在上海以外，有林徽因「兩三朵娉婷，披著情緒

的花」；有戴望舒「悠長悠長，又寂寥的雨巷」；有鄭愁予「

青石的街道向晚」；有席慕容「在心中不肯痊癒的，不流血的

創傷」……

文字，這中華歷史上積澱下來的精華是不可勝數的。我所啜飲

的不過是三千弱水中的一瓢。不多的一點財富，也是要用寶瓶

裝起，捧在手中看的。希望在不久的將來，我也可以使妙筆在

手中生花；也可以使精心打磨出的文字流光溢彩；也可以在文

字的寶庫中留下自己不多的一點印記。

惟有

文 字

文 / 昱湲

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攝 / 吳從云漂 泊 ． 西 南

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