11 Things I wish I Knew

8/18/2019 11 Things I wish I Knew

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A lot of people like to fool you and say that you’re not smart if you

never went to college, but common sense rules over everything.

That’s what I learned from selling crack.

-Snoop ogg


2/8

!y name is Stephanie St."laire, and I am an unfunded entrepreneur. I’ve been in business for # years, after

engaging in my own personal and tenuous renaissance $uh%divorce& and rediscovering my ivine "ore 'urpose. In

other words, I grew a pair of ladyballs, launched a business, and started (guring out how to coalesce my e)orts

into pro(t.

*ut there was a +T to learn, and some of those things weren’t covered in ho !oved !y "heese.

Throw these rockstars into a blender, and you’ll have a composite sketch of me in the (rst three months of my

business/

0litter was literally shooting out of my eye sockets as I 1uit my '2 (rm 3ob and started my own business. 4ull of

optimism, living in 5ew 6ork "ity, and surrounded by a tribe of friends who were also launching businesses, art,

and gigs, I felt it was the perfect time to make the bold move to entrepreneurship. I was now o7cially +iving !y

ream and orking 4or !yself which meant that I was In "harge of !y 4inancial estiny and "aptain of !y

'romising 4uture.

+uckily my initial hyper-optimism buoyed me whilst, oscillating between euphoria and despair, I was slowly but

systematically forced o) The !agic School *us and onto the S.S. *attleship +ong 8aul.

I was a 1uick and eager learner, but despite the hours of webinar watching, countless 4riday nights pumping out

site copy, and teaching myself everything I could about 8T!+, there were 3ust some things I didn’t get. I had to fall

on my ass to procure the 9masters degree in life survival: every entrepreneur has to earn on their 93ourney.:

6es, those are bitterly gesticulated air 1uotes.


3/8

8ere are ;; things I wish I knew when I started my business. I hope they will save you some time, but at the very

least, some anguish because < e=perience is a good teacher here < the sodium from your tears acts as a corrosive

melting agent on all brands of premium ice cream, but otherwise, makes a superb saline for your dirty martini. "ry

over a cup, oh fathomless bird of preneurial gumption>

5?!*@2 ;.2?55I50 T8@ *?SI5@SS IS 6?2 4I2ST '2I2IT6. 6our success $and (nancial stability& will come from e=pertly

running your business


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long haul. 6ou secured a business loan, or got some investors, or sold your house $cough, cough&, or have one

year’s worth of savings and you have planned accordingly .

*ut then all of the sudden, midst the pu)y clouds and blue skies, your little twin engine @ntreprenairplane will

sputter, the needle on the gas gauge une=pectedly plummeting to Dero, and you will have only one choice% land

your plane on the wild, abandoned air strip called *ank *alance/ 4ourteen ollars. And this will be the +AST '+A"@

you ever thought you’d crash land, because didn’t you pass this test on 5o !ore Sephora IslandF

ell.

The good news is this is a rite of passage that will launch you into the +eague of *usiness *adassery in which, once

you are out of the money hellhole, you will be unstoppable. 6ou’ve been to the baddest prison there is, you looked

down the barrel of your worst fear, and you stood your ground. 6ou didn’t 1uit. 6ou got up the ne=t day, and you

wrote your ne=t post, created your ne=t o)ering, and answered the email with Dero dollars in your bank account.

There is nothing more beautiful than running out of money and realiDing that you are doing your work because

you’ve got the guts to stand above proof, and push through your worst fears when there is no evidence of security.

6ou really, truly love what you do, and you’d do it for free if you had to.

Irony is a sassy bitch, isn’t sheF

5?!*@2 .*?I+ A 86*2I ST2@A! 4 I5"!@. Take a second 3ob if it will give you peace of mind. 'lease don’t be a 3ackass

like I was and make it mean that you’re failing at your business. I was so resistant to 9dividing my focus: or taking

any action which I interpreted as undermining my commitment to being a successful writer and coach. o you seethe hellish mousetrap that wasF I really thought that by making a 'lan * I was telling the ?niverse I wasn’t ;B

serious about my success. on’t even get me started with my craDy aversion to 'lan *’s. I created a worse problem

by allowing (nancial stress to gut me of my sanity.

If having a steady stream of part-time income would be in service to your peace of mind, do it.

I (nally came to terms with the fact that I was being obno=iously naPve about how money, peace, survival, and

timing all work together and I got a second 3ob. *y doing this, I supernaturaliDed my own path to freedom and self-

sustainability. And since I wasn’t freaking out about money anymore, I liberated more creative real estate in my

brain to apply toward my business.

http://blissbombed.com/having-a-money-meltdown-7l-prescriptions-for-peace/http://blissbombed.com/having-a-money-meltdown-7l-prescriptions-for-peace/https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=603098503063245&set=a.260500980656334.63425.170517726321327&type=1&theaterhttps://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=603098503063245&set=a.260500980656334.63425.170517726321327&type=1&theaterhttp://blissbombed.com/having-a-money-meltdown-7l-prescriptions-for-peace/


5/8

5?!*@2 #.2@A ST@H@5 '2@SS4I@+’S T8@ 2L . The biggest challenge you will deal with in running a business is your

own resistance. 'eriod, end of story. *efore you study anything about marketing, social media, money, or timemanagement, read this book. 6ou’ll be treated to gems like this/

9ur enemy is not lack of preparationQ it’s not the di7culty of the pro3ect, or the state of the marketplace, or the

emptiness of our bank account. The enemy is resistance. The enemy is our chattering brain, which, if we give it so

much as a nanosecond, will start producing e=cuses, alibis, transparent self-3usti(cations, and a million reasons

why he can’tMshouldn’tMwon’t do what we know we need to do.:

9A professional distances herself from her instrument. The pro stands at one remove from her instrument <

meaning her person, her body, her voice, her talentQ the physical, mental, emotional, and psychological being she

uses in her work. She does not identify with this instrument. It is simply what 0od gave her, what she has to workwith. She assesses it coolly, impersonally, ob3ectively.

oes !adonna walk around the house in cone bras and come-fRk-me bustiersF She’s too busy planning -ay.

!adonna does not identify with 9!adonna.: !adonna employs 9!adonna.:

5?!*@2 N.S'@5 +@SS TI!@ 2@S@A2"8I50, !2@ TI!@ I50. 2esearchingMstudyingM reading other people’s blogs is a form

of resistance. In order to get clarity, you must act. "larity does not come by learning more, it comes by 3umping in

with your instincts and putting yourself out there, even if you don’t know e=actly what you’re doing.

http://www.stevenpressfield.com/do-the-work/http://www.stevenpressfield.com/do-the-work/


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*lock out the distractions $turn o) the phone, social media, and email noti(cations& and take inspired action that

feels tangible and measurable. Set a timer for E minutes and go to town on a task. o not look up. o not go to

the bathroom. o not cruise the fridge for cheese sticks. 0et something done, despite the fact that at times you

will feel like you are pissing into the wind. 'iss into the wind times a day, and you’ll make a di)erence in your

bottom line.

5?!*@2 C.5+6 SA6 6@S T "+I@5TSM"++A*2ATIH@ '2K@"TS T8AT A2@ 8@++ 6@S@S. ScrutiniDe any 3oint pro3ect carefully

and 1ualify the person you are doing the pro3ect with $even if they are your friend and have more page likes than

you&. 0et everything in writing before you embark on the pro3ect, with a clear division of labor and deadline dates.

6ou will most likely be splitting the pro(ts, so have two numbers in your head/ The number you 5@@ to make in

order to pay for your time, and the number you would +IL@ to make. Set the (rst (nancial deadline early to make

your 5@@ number so that you both have the freedom to walk away if the pro3ect isn’t going to be pro(table. 8ave

a transition strategy in mind so in case that happens and one of you wants to continue on with the pro3ect, there is

a way to pass the baton gracefully.

Summed up/ "!!?5I"AT@ A*?T @H@26T8I50, even though you’re friends, even though you love each other,

even though you trust each other, even though you’ve worked together at 6U "ompany, because pro3ects have a

way of going sideways and making everyone a little custodial and overreactive.

5?!*@2 V. 6? !?ST @HT@ TI!@ T *@"!@ A *2I++IA5T !A2L@T@2. !?ST. I know you 3ust want to spend all your days

making hipster sarsaparilla-scented mustache wa=, or needle pointing edgy throw pillows for @tsy, or writing your

6A Dombie novel, or life coaching women to stratospheric success, but if you don’t spend time marketing you will

not make money.

This was my biggest weakness when I started because Ithought marketing W slimy sales letters with big arrowsand opt-in bo=es and I couldn’t> I wouldn’t> So I put myhead in magical fairyland sand, stubbornly insisting that

mycustomers would be tractor-beamed into my budding

practiceby the pulsating, heavenly light that radiated from

my vision boards and blog posts.

And then I ate canned food and spaghetti for a long, longtime.


7/8

*ut this rescued me X knowing what marketing personality I embody. There are three main types/ The 0uru

$*rendan *uchard, anielle +a'orte, 0ary Haynerchuck, !arie 4orleo, Tony 2obbins&, whose marketing boldly

states, 9+isten to me. I have the answers.: Then there’s the isdom Advisor $*rene *rown, "hris 0uillebeau,

!arianne illiamson, ave 2amsey&, whose marketing feels like, 9This is what I’ve found to work best. +et’s

brainstorm together, and I’ll help you (nd out what’ll work for you.: And (nally, The "onnector $prah, Konathan

4ields, !ark Uuckerberg& who connect people with other peopleMresources. nce you have (gured out your

marketing personality, selling to your customers will be a thousand times easier because you will be working within

your natural vibe.

+earn what way you like to market and stick to that and do it consistently and often. @ven if you hire a pro, you will

be doing some marketing yourself. Leeping your website fresh and current is essential in your marketing, so learn

how to work ord'ress and learn some 8T!+ code. 6ou will be in the guts of your website A +T.

5?!*@2 ;.

@!AI+ I++ *@ 6?2 5@ *@ST 42@5@!6. 6our inbo= will e=plode. 6ou care about everyone, but you can’t helpeveryone. 2ead/ 5ot everyone is your customer. 6our inbo= will be a 3umble of people who want to say thank you,

people who want free stu), and people who want your services. 6our 3ob is to 1uickly discern who’s who and

respond in the most appropriate way.

Shorten the email back-and-forth as 1uickly as possible with people that are your potential clients. If your business

is a consultancy where you are selling your time, I recommend having two form letters on hand that you can

customiDe to the occasion/ one for your potential customer and the other for your not potential customer.

6our "ustomer/ Acknowledge their situation, re1uest, or problem and invite them to a E-minute call. Include your

available dates, times, and a phone number you can be reached.

5ot 6our "ustomer/ Acknowledge their situation, re1uest, problem and direct them to other resources,

practitioners, blogs, or articles that would be a splendid (t for them.

I love personally connecting with my clients. In this area of business, I am ;VVN all the way, and I pick up the

phone and talk to them live. I set up all the calls on one day or schedule them after my regular client sessions. I

have found this to save a colossal amount of time. In a E minute phone call, I accomplish the following/

• 4ind out their history and current issues.

• @=plain to them how coaching works and pricing.

• Ascertain if we are a right (t and they are ready for coaching.

• Answer any of their logistical 1uestions.

• 0ive them a personal sense of what it would be like to work with me on the phone $my tone of voice,

cadence through the call, etc.&.

• 'rocess the invoice.

• Set up the (rst session.


8/8

o you know how long that would take back-and-forth by emailF

days to a month. o not screw your own time economy.

5?!*@2 ;;.5?!*@2 @+H@5 IS A 80@-'0@/ o not work your business N days a week. 4rom time to time, forget

everything you know about the 9right way: to run a business and run it like a neighborhood lemonade stand. o

not price your o)erings around your personal ability to pay for it < you are not your ideal customer. ork out

perple=ing issues in your business and it will resolve problems in other areas of your life. "onnect with other

entrepreneurs and set up a skype brainstorming session $with wine&. Take a walk around the block every day at

lunch. If you want to be smarter in business, read everything these two people write/ 2egina Anae3ionu and Ash

Ambirge.

5ow it’s your turn/ hat piece of advice could you o)er a new entrepreneurF +et us know in the comments.

nward>

'S. Are you a woman who is thinking about starting an online consulting businessF After coaching over E clients

privately on how to take their talents to market, I made a self-paced, do-it-yourself business launching course. +et

me help you/ *uild a *lissful nline *usiness.

- See more at/ http/MMblissbombed.comM;;-things-i-wish-i-knew-when-i-started-my-businessMOsthash.64U4gl2.dpuf
http://byregina.com/http://themiddlefingerproject.org/http://themiddlefingerproject.org/http://themiddlefingerproject.org/https://buildablissfulbiz.com/http://byregina.com/http://themiddlefingerproject.org/http://themiddlefingerproject.org/https://buildablissfulbiz.com/

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11 Things I wish I Knew