106 (27) Coleman (2009)

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MARILYN COLEMAN AND LYNETTE NICKLEBERRY University of Missouri

An Evaluation of the Remarriage and Stepfamily

Self-Help Literature

The purpose of this study was to critique inprint, post-1990 copyrighted stepfamily self-helpbooks in order to provide guidance to helping

professionals who work with these complex families. Of the 63 books reviewed, trained coders were able to strongly recommend 13books for being well organized, for relying onclinical or empirical sources of information,and for offering practical and concrete advice

specific enough for stepfamily members toimplement.

Self-help books have been described as ‘‘a firm part of the fabric of American culture, too pervasive and influential to be ignored or lightly dismissed, and certainly worthy of investigation’’ (Starker, 1989, p. 2).

Recent estimates show that about half of all marriages continue to involve at least

one previously married partner (U.S. CensusBureau, 2004), and a significant number of these previously married partners have children.Unfortunately, the divorce rate for remarried couples continues to be higher than that for firstmarried couples. The probability of redivorcewithin 5 years for remarried couples is 23% and within 10 years is 39% (Bramlett & Mosher,2002), compared to first-marriage dissolutionfound to be 20% at 5 years and 33% at 10 years.The likelihood of dissolution increases when

Human Development and Family Studies, Univer-sity of Missouri, 411 Gentry, Columbia, MO 65211([email protected]).

Key Words: remarriage, self-help, stepfamilies.

children are present, and in 2004, 17% of allchildren under age 18 (12.2 million) lived with astepparent, half-sibling, or stepsibling (Bramlett& Mosher). Forty-six percent of the childrenin stepfamilies (5.5 million) lived with at leastone stepparent (Kreider, 2007), a total of 6% of all children in the United States (U.S. CensusBureau, 2009).

Given the high level of complexity withinstepfamilies and stepfamily relationships (Cole-man, Ganong, & Fine, 2000; Ermisch &Francesconi, 2000), individual stepfamily members may seek the assistance of helping pro-fessionals in numbers considerably higher thanindividuals from other family backgrounds.Indeed, many stepfamilies need up-to-date edu-cational information rather than therapy, and high-quality self-help books have the potentialto either supplement or supplant therapy (Visher & Visher, 1996). In 1989, Coleman and Ganongconducted one of the first systematic evaluationsof the stepfamily self-help literature. Our goalhere was to update and extend our previous work in order to provide guidance regarding the con-tent and quality of self-help books. The purposeof our study was to critique stepfamily self-help books published since 1990 and make recom-mendations that would assist helping profession-als match the needs of clients to available books.

Emergence of the Self-help Book Phenomenon

Books have been used for centuries to help people solve their personal and interpersonal problems (Pardeck, 1996; Santrock, Minnett,& Campbell, 1994). Early American literature

Family Relations 58 (December 2009): 549 – 561 549

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550 Family Relations

such as McGuffy Readers, The New England Primer (Pardeck), and The Poor Richard’s Almanac (Santrock et al.) commonly included advice for self-improvement. Today, nearly

every bookstore and library has a section devoted specifically to self-help literature, and it has beenestimated that the self-improvement industryannually generates $2.48 billion in revenue(Rosen, 2004). There are more than 28,000available self-help books, and the last 20 yearshave demonstrated a marked increase in their use among clinicians (Lehane, 2005).

Use of self-help materials for therapeutic pur-

poses. Psychoeducational approaches (Authier,1977) are often designed to increase theavailability to the general public of self-caretools such as self-help books that enhanceresilience to stress, coping skills, and a senseof mastery over life changes (Landsverk &Kane, 1998). Ellis (1993), noted founder of rational-emotive therapy, has suggested severaladvantages of self-help books, especially for selected audiences. For example, Ellis believed that some people who are literature oriented,

but do not like dealing with a therapist or withcounseling groups, might be quite comfortablereading self-help books. He also stated thatit may take a great deal of repetition before people can assimilate information, which makes being able to access books for multiplereadings especially valuable. Furthermore, Ellisunderscored that for some people therapy may be too expensive and/or embarrassing, and self-help books provide therapeutic suggestions at alow cost and they are accessible for private use.

Finally, he pointed out that some communitieshave too few therapists to offer much variety incounseling techniques, or there is little diversityin the kinds of self-help and therapy groupsoffered, a particular problem in rural areas(Erickson, 2001). Self-help literature may be oneof the few ways these individuals can gain accessto professional advice. Similarly, Du Plock (2005) asserted that bibliotherapy can be a meansof people ‘‘engaging with their past, being in the present, and imagining the future’’ (p. 307).

This review of the stepfamily self-helpliterature is designed to assist practitioners inthe selection of high-quality materials to usewith their stepfamily clients. Providing readingmaterial that offers concrete suggestions for common issues that may arise is a means of

helping stepfamilies imagine a future that is both functional and satisfying.

Evidence suggests that many therapists,especially those with more than 10 years of

experience, rely on self-help literature and bib-liography as an integral part of the therapeutic process (Adams & Pitre, 2000; Lehane, 2005);however, few therapists have the time to person-ally critique new publications (Norcross et al.,2003). We contend that those in the helping pro-fessions (e.g., counselors, family life educators,social workers) will benefit from careful reviewsof high-quality books that offer sound concreteadvice that is based on empirical evidence and/or clinical impressions from highly skilled clin-

icians who have an extensive background of working with stepfamilies (Davies, 1999).

Limitations and critiques of self-help material.Despite the advantages and the popularity of self-help books, there has been a backlash inthe academic community regarding the appro- priateness of this literature. Critics of self-help books have underscored the wide variabilityamong self-help books with respect to whether or not they are research based, focus on specific

symptoms, and offer useful concrete suggestions(Norcross et al., 2003). These criticisms may be particularly true for the best selling self-help books. For example, best selling self-help booksseldom take a feminist perspective (Zimmerman,Holm, & Starrels, 2001). If issues such as egali-tarian relationships and empowerment to explorenontraditional behaviors and life choices areimportant to therapists and clients, then the bestseller list would be an inadequate basis of choice.

Of additional concern is the quality of self-

help material. Pardeck (1990) analyzed stud-ies examining the use of self-help books and reported generally positive findings, and Pan-talon and Lubetkin (1995) concluded from their review of the literature that self-help booksare effective in changing behaviors. Jackson(2001) noted, however, that for self-help booksto be effective, therapists must choose appropri-ate books, and they must be familiar with the books selected. Given the complex issues and unique situations facing stepfamily members, it

is important that self-help books chosen by or assigned to them be of high quality. Unfortu-nately, not all self-help books are of optimalquality. For example, Johnson, Johnson, and Hillman (1997) raised major concerns aboutthe general quality of Christian self-help books,

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Stepfamily Literature Evaluation 551

including the tendency of authors to plagiarize(e.g., they add a few Christian principles and ref-erences to someone else’s work) and the fact thatthe books are often based on opinion rather than

empirical evidence. Considering evidence thatconservative Christians prefer Christian therapists and would prefer self-help books writtenfrom their religious perspective (Johnson &Johnson, 1998), these clients are in need of self-help materials that do not conflict withtheir Christian values, yet are empirically sound.(Davies, 1999).

METHOD

The books evaluated in this study were iden-tified using a variety of search techniques.We searched the websites of Barnes & Nobleand Amazon bookstores to find books readilyavailable to the public using the keywords self-help and stepfamily, remarriage, stepmother,stepfather, stepchild, stepsiblings, stepchildren,stepfamily relations, blended family, remarried family, and self-help. The databases Books inPrint, Worldcat (a large on-line network of library content and services), and the on-line

catalog for the Library of Congress also weresearched in addition to recommended readingslists from websites of several professional orga-nizations such as the American CounselingAssociation, the American Academy of Mar-riage and Family Therapists, the StepfamilyAssociation of America, and the Academy of Family Mediators.

We limited our selection of books to thosethat were still in print with a post-1990 copy-right date, which resulted in the identification of

194 stepfamily self-help books. Letters were sentto the publishers of these books explaining the project and requesting complimentary copies.We also asked them to send us other stepfam-ily self-help books from their presses in casewe had overlooked some. Books that were not provided by the publishers were obtained fromlocal libraries or via Interlibrary Loan. Booksacquired but excluded from the study, included religious tracts that primarily provided bibli-cal interpretations of remarriage, professional

books written for an academic audience, booksoffering advice on multiple family transitions(e.g., marriage, divorce, the ensuing singlehood,dating postdivorce, and remarriage all in one book), books with a narrow focus, and chil-dren’s books. For example, Papernow’s (2003)

book Becoming a Stepfamily: Patterns of Devel-opment in Remarried Families was excluded onthe grounds of being primarily for profession-als, covering topics such as stepfamily cycles,

developmental maps, and intervention strategiesdesigned for professionals working with step-families. Likewise, Divorce & New Beginnings:

A Complete Guide to Recovery, Solo Parenting,Co-parenting, and Stepfamilies (Clapp, 2000)was omitted for being too broad in scope, whileBlackstone-Ford and Jupe’s (2007) Ex-etiquette

for Weddings: The Blended Families’ Guideto Tying the Knot was excluded for being toonarrow in focus. Some books, although address-ing a narrow audience, were included because

they offered excellent advice on an acceptablenumber of topics. An example was Remarriage

After 50: What Women, Men and Adult Children Need to Know (Barton, 1994) which was noted by coders for offering good advice on moneyissues, sex in later life, health issues, and adultchildren, topics not covered in other books, yetnoted as issues salient to older remarried adults(see Williamson & Dooley, 2001).

Coding

The remaining stepfamily self-help books (n =

65) were evaluated using a coding rubric devel-oped for this project that was comprised of fivemain categories (i.e., readability of text, content basis of text, use of references, author qualifica-tions, and comprehensiveness), an overall ratingof quality (i.e., strongly recommended, recom-mended, recommended with reservations, and not recommended), and some single-item mea-

sures. On readability, coders evaluated if the books were visually appealing, organized logi-cally, appropriate for the intended audience, and had an engaging writing style. The content of the books was coded according to whether or not theauthor relied uponresearch, clinical impressions, personal experience, or some combination of thethree for information. The reference categoryconsisted of three parts: Was there a referencelist, if so, was it current, and/or were suggestionsmade of other stepfamily resources? Author

qualifications were assessed according to clin-ical experience, appropriate academic degrees,and/or personal experience. These categorieswere scored from 1 to 3, with 3 being the bestscore. Comprehensiveness was assessed on ascale of 1 (‘‘least comprehensive’’) to 10 (‘‘most

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comprehensive’’). For our purposes, compre-hensiveness was defined as the extent to whichthe books covered content empirically supported as salient to stepfamily functioning. In addition,

46 content codes were inductively developed bycoders; new codes were added throughout thecoding process.

Additional single-item measures included (a)did the book present a balance of both the problems and strengths of stepfamilies, (b) wasa nuclear family model promoted, (c) were waysoffered to integrate all sets of parents into thechild’s life, and (d) was concrete advice given,and if so, was it based on research, clinical data,or merely personal experience? These categories

were coded as ‘‘yes,’’ ‘‘undecided,’’ ‘‘no,’’and/or ‘‘not applicable.’’ Categories were scored from 0 to 3, with ‘‘yes’’ responses scored as3, ‘‘undecided’’ scored as 2, ‘‘no’’ responsesscored as 1, and ‘‘not applicable’’ responsesscored as 0. The scores on each category weretallied and for those categories consisting of multiple items, then averaged.

Particular attentionwas paid to the presence of concrete advice on topics empirically supported as salient to stepfamily functioning. The books

were evaluated according to whether or notadvice/suggestions were offered, if advice wasconcrete rather than abstract, and if the advicewas empirically supported. Concrete advice wasdefined as suggestions of research supported appropriate courses of action using specific behavioral language (Norcross et al., 2003). For example, abstract advice such as take all the time

you need or date long enough sounds good butdoes not really provide stepparents with muchguidance about what to do. How do you know

when you have dated ‘‘long enough’’? Or if you have ‘‘taken the time you need’’? Concreteadvice, on the other hand, provides explicit tasksto accomplish such as:

Find out what things your stepchildren like and, if possible, see that they are available. Having a bas-

ketball hoop put on the garage or finding ‘‘Dad’sOld Fashioned Root Beer’’ in the refrigerator can

give a stepchild the sense of being counted and

appreciated (Visher & Visher, 1991, p. 84).

An investigative triangulation method, asopposed to a single coder, was employed for reducing potential systematic bias (Denzin,2006). In addition to the authors, additionalcoders were selected on the basis of their expe-rience and knowledge of stepfamily issues and

included family studies graduate students and parent educators. All of the coding categorieshave been supported empirically as importantcriteria to use in evaluating self-help literature

(Coleman & Ganong, 1987; Fried & Schultis,1995; Pardeck, 1996).

During the initial stages of the project, allmembers of the research team coded the samethree books to establish inter-rater consistencyand to develop the categories of the codingrubric. After the initial training and developmentof the rubric was completed, each self-help book was coded by a minimum of two people. Weeklymeetings were held to discuss the coding processfor the purpose of maintaining consistency

across codes and coders. When codes were notconsistent, the codes would be discussed untilthere was consensus or a compromise. In somecases, where coders disagreed, the scores wereaveraged. If coders proved to be unreliable or their codes varied widely from other coders,their data were discarded. For example, in onecase, there was a language difference problem(an international graduate student), and in theother, the coder did not carefully read the booksand was missing much of the data. These books

were read by other coders as a result. Codersalso wrote memos on each book, includingexamples of concrete advice presented. Thesememos were used in conjunction with the coded data to determine the level of recommendation.

R ESULTS

Books were coded similarly to the coding of qualitative data. For example, a book thatmight have originally been coded as strongly

recommended would likely be moved to therecommended category as better books wereuncovered. If there were several good booksin a category (e.g., books for stepmothers), wewould examine these books again and selectthe one or two best to strongly recommend.We utilized the coding category scores to makethese decisions, but we also specifically assessed the amount and content of concrete advice thatwas offered. This was a means of reducing thestrongly recommended list to be less unwieldy

and of more benefit to those helping profession-als searching for high-quality books. Of the 65 books coded, 13 were strongly recommended (see the Appendix and Table 1). Strongly re-commended books, not surprisingly, received higher average scores on each of the five main

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Table 1. Booklist by Recommendation ( n = 64)

Strongly recommended books (n = 13)

Boyd, H. (1998). The step-parent’s survival guide: Positive advice for achieving a successful step-family. London: Ward

Lock.Fletcher, J. B. (2007). A career girl’s guide to becoming a stepmom: Expert advice from other stepmoms on how to juggle

your job, your marriage, and your new stepkids. New York: Harper.

Lauer, R. H., & Lauer, J. C. (1999). Becoming family: How to build a stepfamily that really works. Minneapolis, MN:

Augsburg.

Lutz, E. (1998). The complete idiot’s guide to stepparenting. New York: Alpha.

Mulford, P. G. (1996). Keys to successful stepmothering . Hauppauge, NY: Barron’s Educational Series.

Newman, M. (1993). Stepfamily realities: How to overcome difficulties and have a happy family. Oakland, CA: New

Harbinger Publications.

Norwood, P. K., & Wingender, T. (1999). The enlightened stepmother: Revolutionizing the role. New York: Avon Books.

O’Connor, A. (2004). The truth about stepfamilies: Real American stepfamilies speak out about what works and what

doesn’t when it comes to creating a family together. New York: Marlowe.Pickhardt, C. E. (1997). Keys to successful stepfathering. Hauppauge, NY: Barron’s Educational Series.

Rosenblum, G. (2000). Stepfamilies: Making it great. Parent club handbook. Minneapolis, MN: Creative Publishing

International.

Thomas, S. (2005). Two happy homes: A working guide for parents & stepparents after divorce and remarriage. Longmont,

CO: Springboard Publications.

Tufnell, C., & Tufnell, T. (2007). Every step counts: Building a healthy stepfamily. Oxford: Lion.

Visher, E. B., & Visher, J. S. (1991). How to win as a stepfamily. New York: Routledge.

Books recommended (n = 13)

Artlip, M. A., Artlip, J. A., & Saltzman, E. S. (1993). The new American family. Lancaster, PA: Starburst.

Burns, C. (2001). Stepmotherhood: How to survive without feeling frustrated, left out, or wicked. New York: Three Rivers

Press.Cerquone, J. (1994). You’re a stepparent—now what? A guide to parenting in families with nonbiological children. Far

Hills, NJ: New Horizon Press.

Einstein, E., Albert, L., & Baird, G. (1991). Strengthening your stepfamily. Melbourne: Royal Victorian Institute for the

Blind.

Kaufman, T. S. (1993). The combined family: A guide to creating successful step-relationships. New York: Plenum Press.

McBride, J. A. (2001). Encouraging words for new stepmothers. Fort Collins, CO: CDR Press.

Nelsen, J., Erwin, C., & Glenn, H. S. (1997). Positive discipline for blended families: Nurturing harmony, respect, and

unity in your new stepfamily. Rocklin, CA: Prima.

Oxhorn-Ringwood, L., Oxhorn, L., & Krausz, M. V. (2002). Stepwives: 10 steps to help ex-wives and stepmothers end the

struggle and put the kids first. New York: Fireside.

Popkin, M., & Einstein, E. (2007). Active parenting for stepfamilies: For parents & stepparents. Atlanta, GA: ActiveParenting.

Thoele, S. P. (1999). The courage to be a stepmom: Finding your place without losing yourself. Berkeley, CA: Wildcat

Canyon Press.

Wisdom, S., & Green, J. (2002). Stepcoupling: Creating and sustaining a strong marriage in today’s blended family. New

York: Three Rivers Press.

Wright, H. N. (1999). Before you remarry. Eugene, OR: Harvest House.

Ziegahn, S. J. (2001). 7 steps to bonding with your stepchild. New York: St. Martin’s Griffin.

Books recommended with reservation (n = 17)

Barton, J. H. (1994). Remarriage after 50: What women, men and adult children need to know. Fort Walton Beach, FL:

Roger Thomas Press.

Brown, B. E. (1991). When you’re mom no. 2: A word of hope for stepmothers . Ann Arbor, MI: Servant Publications.Coyle-Hennessey, B. (1993). Once more with love: A guide to marrying again. Notre Dame, IN: Ave Maria Press.

Deal, R. L. (2002). The smart stepfamily. Minneapolis, MN: Bethany House.

Doerken, M. (2000). Stepparenting without guilt. Nevada City, CA: Blue Dolphin Publication.

Dunn, D. (1993). Willing to try again: Steps toward blending a family. Valley Forge, PA: Judson Press.

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Table 1. Continued

Estess, P. S., & Estess, P. S. (1996). Money advice for your successful remarriage: Handling delicate financial issues with

love and understanding . Cincinnati, OH: Betterway Books.

Focus on the Family. (2004). The blended marriage: Focus on the family marriage series. Colorado Springs, CO: Gospel

Light.

Goodman, K. P. (2002). The stepmom’s guide to simplifying your life. Culver City, CA: Equi Librium Press.

Keller, J. (2001). Making your remarriage last. Loveland, CO: Group Publication.

Millian, L. F., & Millian, S. J. (1999). The second wives club: Secrets for becoming lovers for life. Hillsboro, OR: Beyond

Words Publication.

Parrott, L., & Parrott, L. L. (2001). Saving your second marriage before it starts: Nine questions to ask before (and after)

you remarry. Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan Publishing House.

Reed, B. (1992). Merging families: A step-by-step guide for blended families. St. Louis, MO: Concordia Publication House.

Roberts, N. (2004). With open arms. New York: Silhouette Books.

Smoke, J. (1994). Growing in remarriage: Seven keys to a successful second marriage. Grand Rapids, MI: F.H. Revell.

Swallow, W. (2004). The triumph of love over experience: A memoir of remarriage. New York: Hyperion.

Ziegahn, S. (2002). The stepparent’s survival guide: A workbook for creating a happy blended family . Oakland, CA: New

Harbinger Publications.

Books not recommended (n = 21)

Annarino, K. L., & Blomquist, J. M. (2000). Stepmothers and stepdaughters: Relationships of chance, friendships for a

lifetime. Berkeley, CA: Wildcat Canyon Press.

Barash, S. S. (2000). Second wives: The pitfalls and rewards of marrying widowers and divorced men. Far Hills, NJ: New

Horizon Press.

Barnes, R. G. (1992). You’re not my daddy. Dallas, TX: Word Publication.

Bray, J. H., & Kelly, J. (1998). Stepfamilies: Love, marriage, and parenting in the first decade. New York: Broadway Books.

Chedekel, D. S., & O’Connell, K. G. (2002). The blended family sourcebook: A guide to negotiating change. Chicago:

Contemporary Books.

Douglas, E., & Douglas, S. (2000). The blended family: Achieving peace and harmony in the Christian home. Franklin, TN:

Providence House.

Flach, F. F. (1998). A new marriage, a new life. New York: Hatherleigh Press.

Gabe, G., & Lipman-Blumen, J. (2004). Step wars: Overcoming the perils and making peace in adult stepfamilies. New

York: St. Martins Press.

Janda, L. H., & MacCormack, E. (1991). The second time around: Why some marriages fail while others succeed.

Secaucus, NJ: Carol Publication Group.

Jones, M. B., & Schiller, J. A. (1992). Stepmothers: Keeping it together with your husband and his kids. New York: Carol

Publication Group.

Kamm, P. (1991). Remarriage: In the middle years and beyond . San Leandro, CA: Bristol Publication Enterprises.

Ketover Prilik, P. (1998). Becoming an adult stepchild: Adjusting to a parent’s new marriage. Washington, DC: American

Psychiatric Press.

LeBey, B. (2004). Remarried with children: Ten secrets for successfully blending and extending your family. New York:

Bantam Books.

Leman, K. (2001). Living in a stepfamily without getting stepped on. New York: Thomas Nelson.

Marsolini, M. (2000). Blended families: Creating harmony as you build a new home life. Chicago: Moody Press.

Martin, D., & Martin, M. (1992). Step by step: A guide to stepfamily living. Minneapolis, MN: Educational Media

Corporation.

Regina, J. (1995). Wife-in-law!: Your ex-husband married her, or your present husband divorced her . New York:

Bereny-Bear Books.

Rosenberg, M. B. (1990). Talking about stepfamilies. New York: Bradbury Press.

Vick, K. (2006). 7 reasons to be grateful you’re the mother of a blended family . Green Forest, AR: New Leaf Press.

Wells, S. A. (2004). Warm and wonderful: Stepmothers of famous people. Royal Oak, MI: Lawells Publication.

Wilde, J. (1999). Surviving and thriving as a blended family. Binghamton, NY: William Neil Publication.

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Table 2. Average Coding Scores by Recommendation Category

Recommendation Category Readabilitya

Content

Basisa Referencesa

Author

Qualificationa Comprehensiveness b

Strongly recommended (n = 13) 2.56 2.06 2.11 2.09 8.53Recommended (n = 12) 2.40 1.65 1.79 1.69 7.60

Recommended with

reservations (n = 17)

2.40 1.86 1.87 1.87 6.18

Not recommended (n = 21) 2.31 1.81 1.68 1.82 4.92

aAverages on a 3-point scale. bAverages on a 10-point scale.

categories (see Table 2). Twelve of the stronglyrecommended books were secular in nature; onehad a religious tone (Lauer & Lauer, 1999;

see Table 1). Overall, strongly recommended books were noted for being visually pleasing,well organized, and appropriate for the intended audience. These books were said to be easy tofollow, with an engaging writing style and anappealing layout with bulleted points, checklists,and helpful subheadings. They also were noted for offering a balanced perspective of stepfamilylife and for presenting both negative and posi-tive aspects of stepfamilies without promotingthe nuclear family ideal. All of the strongly rec-

ommended books also included large amountsof practical and concrete advice specific enoughfor stepfamily members to implement. On aver-age, the newer books were found to be morecomprehensive, likely the result of the substan-tial increase in stepfamily research available towriters (Coleman et al., 2000). These books alsotended to include thought-provoking questionsfor couples or families to discuss such as thosesuggested in A Careers Girl Guide to Becoming aStepmom (Fletcher, 2007; see Table 1) on getting

to know your stepchildren for new stepmothers.1. Are the children open to a new relationship

with Stepmom? How can Dad supportthose new friendships without getting in themiddle?

2. What fun things can we do together as afamily?

3. How can we support the kids in their transition?

4. What can we do to make time for each of us to have one-on-one outings with the kids?

(p. 78).

Fifty percent of strongly recommended bookshad authors with clinical experience and appropriate degrees, and 64% of the authors had personal experience in stepfamilies. We can

only speculate about why personal experiencewas relevant as these certainly were not books based on personal experience. It may be that

researchers and clinicians with personal expe-rience have a better understanding of whatinformation may be relevant to readers of self-help books.

Characteristics of Recommended Books

Books only recommended by coders (n = 13)also contained research- and/or clinically-based advice but offered less concrete advice thanstrongly recommend books and often covered

fewer salient topics with substantial depth (seeTable 1). Many recommended books were noted for a pleasing, easy to follow layout, but thewriting was less engaging than was true of thestrongly recommended books. Most (84%) of the books recommended offered concrete adviceconsistent with empirical research, yet accordingto the coder’s memos, authors often failed tocite their sources or include a reference list.Although 50% of the authors of recommended books had clinical experience and appropriate

academic degrees, 80% of them had no personalexperience living in stepfamilies.

Characteristics of Books Recommended with Reservations

Books recommended with reservation (n = 17)tended to target a limited audience (Table 1). For example, Barton (1994) targeted older remarried couples but only took the perspective of women.This book also was noted for offering little

information about blending families and for excluding issues of visiting adult children and grandchildren. Other books recommended withreservation would appeal primarily to a religiousreadership, depending primarily on scriptureas the sole authority on stepfamily advice.

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For example, although Willing to Try Again:Steps Toward Blending a Family (Dunn, 1993)was noted for its use of clinical examples,suggestions to readers of other useful resources,

and for thought-provoking questions at theend of each chapter, it was thought to appeal primarily to a religious (Christian) audience.Although the majority (70%) of the booksrecommended with reservation were noted for having concrete advice, many relied upon dated material as primary sources of information.Sixty-four percent of books recommended withreservation had authors with clinical experienceand appropriate academic degrees; however,94% of these authors had no personal experience

living in stepfamilies.

Characteristics of Books Not Recommended

Books not recommended (n = 21) often offered vague advice (40%).

These books, even when offering concretesuggestions to readers, sometimes contained unsubstantiated information and often contra-dicted current research. For example, some books actively promoted the nuclear fam-

ily model (primarily books having religiousthemes), as in this excerpt from Step by Step:

A Guide to Stepfamily Living (Martin & Martin,1992), ‘‘We strongly suggest that the stepmother or stepfather be called Mom or Dad. Calling thestepparent by his or her first name, however, bestows the status of the mail person or gasstation attendant. . . . Stepparents should refer totheir children as my son or daughter’’ (p. 71).This advice ignores the potential for loyalty con-flicts and guilt with which stepchildren often

struggle (Papernow, 2001). Most researchersand experienced clinicians generally view thenuclear family model as an inappropriate goalfor stepfamilies. Ganong and Coleman (2004)noted that the use of nuclear family paradigmsamong family scholars denies the distinctness of stepfamily experiences and represents stepfami-lies as inferior to nuclear family units, as opposed to being different. In addition, not recommended books often presented an extremely negative or discouraging perspective as evidenced by The

Blended Family: Achieving Peace and Harmonyin the Christian Home (Douglas & Douglas,2000), which suggested that ‘‘blended families be given encouragement, support, and teaching just as the drug addict, murderer, fornicator,adulterer, and other sinners’’ (p. 50; the italics

are ours). Forty-five percent had authors withclinical experience and appropriate academicdegrees; however, 54% of these authors had no personal experience living in stepfamilies.

DISCUSSION

The purpose of this study was to expand onearlier work by Coleman and Ganong (1989) byevaluating the current body of remarriage and stepfamily self-help books, assessing the cover-age and gaps in the literature, and making book recommendations to therapists, clinicians, and family life educators. Several general obser-vations can be made. First, the quantity of

self-help books on remarriage and stepparent-ing has greatly increased over the past twodecades. We identified nearly 200 books inprint written for adults, far more than the 50 books that were available for the 1989 study(11 of which were books for children and ado-lescents, a genre we ignored for this study).Second, the general quality of the books hasimproved. Coleman and Ganong (1989) previ-ously strongly recommended only five books for helping professionals to use with adult clients,

while the current study recommends 13, morethan twice as many. Although the ratio of strongly recommended books to total books isactually lower, many of the books in our ‘‘rec-ommended category’’ would likely have beenhighly recommended in 1989. For example,Burns’ 1985book, Stepmotherhood was stronglyrecommended in the 1989 study but the 2001 edi-tion, which is probably a better book, fell intothe recommended category. In general, we canconclude that it should be relatively easy for

helping professionals and stepfamily membersto access high-quality books.

In spite of improvements in the quality of thecorpus of books, several topics did not receivethe attention that they deserve. For example,there were no books found that are specificallydesigned for gay and lesbian stepfamilies, and gay and lesbian issues were mentioned in lessthan 10% of the books coded. Although there isnot a great deal of research on these families,we do know that gay and lesbian couples with

children must deal with greater social stigma and fewer guiding norms than those entering hetero-sexual remarriages and stepfamilies (Kurdek,2004). Research also substantiates that chil-dren of gay and lesbian stepfamilies receivelittle social support from friends and relatives

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and themselves experience a form of ‘‘closet-ing’’ about their membership in gay stepfamilies(Crosbie-Burnett & Helmbrecht, 1993).

Likewise, few of the books addressed keeping

children out of within-household (stepparent)and across-household (coparent) conflict. Thisis surprising considering that the stress noted instepfamilies is most often related to marital con-flict (Bray & Jouriles, 1995; Preece & DeLongis,2005), and that conflict between coparents has been identified as a significant risk factor for negative outcomes for children in postdivorcefamilies (Ganong & Coleman, 2004). Thus, con-sideration for protecting children from conflictshould be a priority more clearly addressed in

future stepfamily self-help literature.Stepfamily legal issues also received minimal

attention despite the prominent role that familylaw and policy plays in the regulation of stepfamily life. Stepparents typically cannotsign medical release forms, request grades fromschools, or seek custody or visitation time withstepchildren following divorce or death of thelegal parent (i.e., the stepparent’s spouse) unlessthe stepparent has legally adopted the child, been designated a legal guardian, or unless the

legal guardian has issued a consent statement(Pasley & Ihinger-Tallman, 1994). Further, thelegal system prevents stepparents from fullyassuming the rights, but not the obligations, of a parent, except through legal adoption (Ganong& Coleman, 2004). Many stepfamily membersare unaware of these legal issues until theyviolate them. We hypothesize that the lack of inclusion of legal information in self-help booksis because of the rapidly changing nature of family law and the fact that family law differs

from state to state. It could also be because of lack of interest or knowledge about legal issues. Nonetheless, including some basic stepfamilylegal information could be quite helpful inassisting readers in making sense of the lawsrelevant to coparenting and stepfamilies.

Limitations of This Review

Most of the books reviewed were written byAmerican authors, which was evidently the

result of limitations of our search criteria. Booksin Print is a database that draws from morethan 4,000,000 records of in-print, out-of-print,and forthcoming books, and Worldcat is thelargest international network of library contentand services. Searches done on these databases

should include English-based international step-family books, yet few written by other than U.S.authors were identified. The websites of profes-sional organizations used are mostly American

organizations (the American Counseling Asso-ciation, the American Academy of Marriage and Family Therapists, the Stepfamily Associationof America, and the Academy of Family Media-tors). Thus, our sample was composed primarilyof American self-help books and neglects books published and distributed outside of the United States. We believe, however, that the books will be widely useful to stepfamilies in the Westernworld.

Implications for Practitioners

Our study was designed to identify and cri-tique the stepfamily self-help literature for thosehelping professionals who frequently rely onself-help books as an adjunct to therapy or fam-ily life education. We believe that it is importantfor these materials to be clearly and appealinglywritten, but also provide reliable, empirically based information to guide stepfamily members through the complex processes inherent in

developing and maintaining stepfamily relation-ships. We also felt that advice provided needed to be balanced—presenting both the strengthsand challenges of living in stepfamilies—and be specific enough that readers can understand and implement the suggestions. Because of the plethora of books available and the burgeon-ing market for self-help materials, we believethat those in the helping professions would wel-come guidance in choosing books appropriatefor their clients. Therefore, an annotated bibli-

ography of the best books is provided to enhanceunderstanding of the content of those stronglyrecommended resources.

NOTE

We would like to thank the many students and other professionals who assisted in the coding of these books,with special thanks to Nancy Schuyler and Sarah Malia.

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APPENDIX: STRONGLY R ECOMMENDED

BOOKLIST

WITH

A NNOTATIONS

Boyd, H. (1998). The step-parent’s survival guide: Positive advice for achieving a successful step-family. London: New Harbinger. Althoughresearch is not cited, this book is clearlyinformed by research and clinical work. Thereare great summaries with concrete advice at theend of each chapter (e.g., ‘‘Help your partner keep any ongoing conflict with an ex-partner away from the children’’). This is a tremendousresource for the person who is thinking about

forming a stepfamily or who has just recentlyentered a stepfamily. The book provides good advice on introducing new partners to childrenand on how issues look from the child’s perspective. One drawback of this book is itscomparative lack of visual appeal.

Fletcher, J. B. (2007). A career girl’s guideto becoming a stepmom: Expert advice fromother stepmoms on how to juggle your job, your marriage, and your new stepkids. New York:

Harper. This is an easy read for stepmotherswith professional careers. These women, highlysuccessful in their careers, often suffer depres-sion because their professional success doesnot translate well into stepfamily life (Morri-son & Thompson-Guppy, 1985). As the author states, ‘‘A common misconception of successfulwomen is, ‘If I try harder, I’ll succeed.’ But thatcan lead to depression. Instead, she has to work smarter’’ (p. 199). The book is interactive and raises great questions to explore with a spouse

or to think about on your own (e.g., ‘‘Will youresent your stepchildren if you can’t or don’thave a baby?’’). Specific resources for womenwith little prior experience with children are pro-vided and also included are excellent sections on jealousy of stepchildren, how to manage if youdo not like your stepchildren, and other topicsthat challenge stepmothers.

Lauer, R. H., & Lauer, J. C. (1999). Becoming family: How to build a stepfamily that reallyworks. Minneapolis, MN: Augsburg Fortress.

The authors of this book do an excellent jobof using biblical quotes to support their points.‘‘Aim for respect rather than affection. If itis possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all (Romans 12:18). This canonly happen among people who treat eachother with respect’’ (p. 42). They also providerealistic examples of common stepfamily issuesin addition to a wide variety of concrete advice,such as, ‘‘If you feel a loyalty conflict, act asthough there is no such conflict. You can change

your attitudes and your feelings by controllingyour behavior’’ (p. 100). Nonreligious readersmay be put off by the biblical quotes, but theyare not excessive and they do not detract fromthe excellent advice given in the book. Theauthors focus on the positive aspects of living ina stepfamily.

Lutz, E. (1998). The complete idiot’s guideto stepparenting. New York: Alpha. This book was written by a journalist and is easy to read, but has a rather annoyingly ‘‘flip’’ writing style,

including the title. There is a detailed table of contents, a great index, an appealing layout, and the advice is generally good. Research is oftenstated in absolutes rather than appropriatelyqualified and citations are infrequent (could use more support for assertions). The book

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is comprehensive and could almost be used as a dictionary of stepfamily advice. Rather than reading through from beginning to end,stepparents could consult the index and search

for issues that they are currently facing.Mulford, P. G. (1996). Keys to successful

stepmothering . Hauppauge, NY: Barron’s Edu-cational Series. This book has a substantialamount of concrete advice and a question and answer section with specific advice for commonscenarios. It is well written and realistic, but itis also encouraging and optimistic throughout(strengths-based approach), offers contrasting perspectives on issues, ‘‘If you’re doing some-thing [with stepchildren] that isn’t having a

desired effect, stop doing it’’ (p. 52). ‘‘Biologi-cal parents often find it difficult to be objectiveabout their own children. Sometimes being astepmother means stepping in to mediate a dis- pute between a father and child, especially whenthey seem unable to resolve it themselves’’(p. 84). In a chapter on ‘‘Survival Tactics’’advice is given to, ‘‘Own up to mistakes. . . ownup to it and apologize. This not only sets a good example for children, it proves you respect themand truly care about their feelings’’ (p. 121).

Newman, M. (1993). Stepfamily realities: How to overcome difficulties and have ahappy family. Oakland, CA: New Harbinger Publications. The layout of the book is clear and includes checklists, charts, empirically based references, and systems-based advice. Questionsare offered for stepfamilies to consider. Sectionssuch as ‘‘Why stepfamilies are different,’’‘‘Some strategies that are used in stepfamiliesto force togetherness,’’ and ‘‘How to reduceconflict and dissatisfaction involving personal

space needs in your stepfamily’’ provide practical suggestions that are likely to be faced in many, if not most, stepfamilies. This book will especially appeal to more highly educated and motivated readers.

Norwood, P. K., & Wingender, T. (1999).The enlightened stepmother: Revolutionizing therole. New York: Avon Books. Based on ques-tionnaires and interviews with stepmoms and professionals, this book targets a stepmom audi-ence. The book is thorough, encouraging, and

engaging. It contains empirically based advicesuch as: ‘‘You are not your stepchildren’smother; you cannot be their mother, you cannotreplace their mother. Unless you can acknowl-edge that the role of mother is off-limits, youwill be setting yourself up for failure and much

personal pain.’’ It is also one of the few recom-mended books with an excellent legal section.

O’Connor, A. (2004). The truth about stepfamilies: Real American stepfamilies speak out

about what works and what doesn’t when it comes to creating a family together. New York:Marlowe. The book provides excellent concreteadvice and interesting analogies such as, ‘‘Be all business. The thing to try to do with the ex inyour life is to treat him like the dentist’’ (p. 49).Advice is included for biological mothers and fathers in stepfamilies as well as for stepparents.For example, fathers are told to take the lead in parenting and not expect stepmothers to be pri-marily responsible for the care of the children.

For biological mothers, the authors suggest thatthey give their child permission to love their step-mother. The author offers additional resourcesfor stepfamilies facing specific challenges.

Do your best to make sure your family does

not fall prey to these unrealistic expectations bylearning more. You’re not the first family to walk

in these treacherous woods. If your stepson’s filthy

bedroom is making your head hurt, find some good books about what you can realistically expect from

someone his age. If your husband seems to think that the only problem in the house is your problem,

encourage him to read books like this one, go to astepfamily couple’s group, or listen to a tape from

the Stepfamily Association of America (p. 80).

Pickhardt, C. E. (1997). Keys to successful stepfathering. Hauppauge, NY: Barron’s Educa-tional Series. The layout is very engaging—hasglossary and index, bullets, italics, and mini-casestudies. The information is based on researchand clinical experiences (though no citations are

given). Support groups are suggested as well asother books for stepfamilies. The author has sig-nificant professional experience with the topic.Although the book is directed at stepfathers,the information would also be valuable for bio-logical mothers and other stepfamily members.For example, ‘‘How he treats the children willalways be experienced by his wife as part of histreatment of her’’ (p. 76).

Rosenblum, G. (2000). Stepfamilies: Making it great. Parent club handbook. Minneapolis,

MN: Creative Publishing International. This isa brief, simply written book that covers many basics. Good advice is given such as, ‘‘Steppar-ents should avoid being the source of change.Your active participation in making new rulesmay add to the child’s perception of you as a

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