1. Conflict-What It is & Where Its From

7/29/2019 1. Conflict-What It is & Where Its From

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Copyright 2006 by Richard P. Walters

High Ground Press :: www.highgroundpress.org

by Richard P. Walters, PhD

WHAT IT IS AND WHERE IT‘S FROM



For use with

The Conflict

ManagementHandbook

4th edition

www.highgroundpress.org



by Richard P. Walters, PhD

WHAT IT IS AND WHERE IT‘S FROM



It does not disappear that easily!





What do you think of when you hear the

wordconflict ?



Anargument



Shouting and threats



Conflicting interests



A physical fight



Conflict can be noisy



Or painfully silent



A sporting event



Conflict is disruptive





Conflict is:

A STRIKING TOGETHER

OR MOVING APART



of [1] two or more needs

or values

NEED against NEEDor

VALUE against VALUE

orNEED against VALUE



Theywantthe

samespace.

[2] that are incompatible



[3] are believed to beincompatible.

or

2 + 2 don’tmake 4.



Rejected or

ignored truth

is asdisruptive

as a lie.

Reject truth

2 + 2don’t

make 4.

There

ain’t nomath!

Ignore truth

2 + 2 = 5

Believe a lie



Conflict is the perceptionof incompatibility

whether theincompatibility is real

or not.



Conflict is disruptive if it causes

OR MOVING APART

A STRIKING TOGETHER

of individuals or groups



Conflict is

•Potentially Useful

•Normal

•Unavoidable•Unnecessary •Disruptive



Conflict management is a realistic goal.

Freedom from allconflict is not a

realistic goal.





Each conflict has anissue and a cause.

Sometimesmany issues

and many causes.



A conflict issue is ... … the subject

that divides theparties.

It is the WHAT.



A conflict cause is ... … the reason

the issue is soimportant to

the parties.It is the WHY .



Conflict management begins by identifyingthe issues and causes.

Let’s list commonissues found inorganizations.



Toomuch work



Oldequipment



Defective equipment



Pay



Parking



Demeaning demands



The coffee



Theboss’s

outfit oncasual

Friday



The vending

machines



The smoker’s lounge



Strange co-workers



Etc. Etc. Etc. Etc. Etc. Etc. Etc. Etc. Etc. Etc.


Etc. Etc. Etc. Etc. Etc.



There are a kazillion issues.



Anything

can be anISSUE.



Some

issuesare

important



Many arenot



Let’s list some

conflict issues oftenfound in

marriages.



Money



Children



Parents



Siblings



Who does the dishes?



Who carries the trash?



Who does the laundry?



Who holds the clicker?



Spouse’s

hobbies



How to squeezetoothpaste



Style

of

eating



The color of the car



Sex





Etc. Etc. Etc. Etc. Etc.



Anything

can be anISSUE.



Someissues

areimportant



Many arenot

Most are not



Issues are the

symptom of aproblem’s cause.



Fixing an ISSUE

won’t fix itsCAUSE.



So, we must find the cause. There are threeplaces to look.



Where to look for theCAUSES of conflict in

organizations

1. Within a person2. Within the organization

3. Canyons



1. Causes arise from

within a person



. . . because humans have anatural inclination toward conflict.




within the organization



. . . because organizations

are made up of people,

and people have a

natural inclinationtoward conflict.




distance betweenpersons or groups



. . . because people are each

unique, tend to cherish andprotect their uniqueness,

and have a naturalinclination toward conflict.



Call this gap

a “canyon”

A gapbetween thegoals, styles,

or values of two persons.



A canyon may exist between

a person’s goals, style, or valuesand the goals, style, values, or

needs of the organization.



There are many possible CAUSES in each of these

places.



Let’s look at eachsource of CAUSES of

conflict in organizations.



SOURCE 1

Within the person.•

Emotional dysfunction• Unprepared to do the job

• Addiction

•Medical condition

• Stress



Emotional dysfunction

•

Correctable condition• Embedded condition



Unpreparedto do the jobLack of training



Unprepared

to do the jobLousy attitude



Unprepared to do the job

Lack proper equipment



Addiction



Medical condition• Hypoglycemia

• Chronic pain

• Tumor

• Lead poisoning

•

Steroids (“roid rage”)



Let’s look at CAUSESof marital

conflict originating

in a person.



. . . because humans areinclined toward conflict.

HUMAN NATURE HUMAN NATURE

1. Within a person



Emotional dysfunction

• Correctable condition

• Embedded condition



Lack of commitment Without commitment a

marriage does not last.



Oh howI tried

to make

it work!

L A W Y E R

DIVORCES OUR SPECIALTY



Lack of commitment Adultery (It may be

physical or only inthe mind.)



Lack of readiness• Unrealistic expectations

• Deficient attitudes• Obstacles in communication



Addiction



Medical condition• Hypoglycemia

• Chronic pain

• Tumor

• Lead poisoning

• Steroid abuse

Over reaching:



Over reaching:

trying the impossible



SOURCE 2

Within thecontext (theorganization)



Difficult conditions

Downsizing

Diffi lt diti




Technological shifts




“Pie” too small



Rigidity

External regulations



Rigidity Unreasonable requirements

Ri idit



Rigidity

Degrading centralization

i i i



Rigidity

Abuse of power



Inconsistency Favoritism



Inconsistency Inequity

EXECUTIVES PEONS



Inconsistency Capricious rule changing Yes No Yes No Yes No Yes

No Yes No Yes No Yes No Yes

No Yes No Yes No Maybe No Yes No Yes No Yes No Yes No

Yes No Yes No Yes No Yes

No Yes No Yes No Yes No YesNo Yes No Huh?



Capricious rule changing


















Inconsistency Capricious rule changing Yes No Yes No Yes No Yes

No Yes No Yes No Yes No Yes

No Yes No Yes No Maybe No Yes No Yes No Yes No Yes No

Yes No Yes No Yes No Yes

No Yes No Yes No Yes No YesNo Yes No Huh?

Inconsistency



Inconsistency Ambiguity

Organi ational dysfunction



Organizational dysfunction

Incompetent

supervisor





Culture of hyper-competition





“Theory X”

assumptions





Injustice• Racism

• Sexism

• Ageism

• Religious bigotry

•Etc., etc., etc.

Stress



Crime – Unemployment – War – Taxes –

Immorality – Disease – Accidents – High cost of

living – Starvation – Ecological problems and

uncertainty – Threat of job obsolescence – Divorce – AIDS – SARS – Political unrest in foreign

countries – Rising occult practices – Vulgar

television – Anti-Christian movements – Teenagers

rebel dangerously – Drug and alcohol abuse –

Latch-key children – Fatherless children – Stormsand natural disasters – Persecution – Deadlines –

Expectations – Bird Flu – ??????????????????

Stress

The world is a hard place to live!



Dangers and pressures cause



makes your head spin

Y ’t h it



You can’t push it away . . .



Stress builds, like pressure in a balloon.



2. Within the context



because our imperfect

world brings trouble.

2. Within the context

of marriage



Not

enoughincome to

meet needsandreasonabledesires



Other people

Children

Other people



Other people

In-laws



High stress environment Crime



High stress environment

Traffic and

commuting



High stress environment Noise



High stress environment

Unruly neighbors

Job stress



Job stress

Uncertainty about the future

Job stress



Job stress

High stress vocation

Job stress



Job stress

Difficult co-workers



SOURCE 3 Canyons

Gaps between

the goals,

styles, or

needs of aperson, and

those of the

organization.

Weak communication



Misunderstanding

Weak communication



Lack of information

Weak communication



Preconceptions

We know your type.

Therefore,we know you!

Between



Between

ability anddemandsof the jobNot

everyone

is asuperhero

Between



Between


everyone

is aleader

Between SPACE



Between


everyone

is agenius

SPACEFOR

RENT

Differences of personality




SELF-SUFFICIENT NEEDS TO BE FED





PLENTY SURE INSECURE





ELUSIVEEFFUSIVE

Incompatibility of cultures



Incompatibility of culturesCats are cats and dogs are dogs.

They can get along . . .



Incompatibility of cultures

. . . or they can fight.

Incompatible goals



THE ORGANIZATION’S GOAL

Incompatible goals

TINY

PERSONAL

GOAL

Incompatible goals



Incompatible goals

IT’S ALL ABOUT MONEY

No it isn’t!

SOURCE 3



People come into

marriage with

different

• personalities

• interests

• values

SOURCE 3

CANYONS

Weak communication skillsC ’t t t t d



Can’t get started

Weak communication skillsTalking itho t listening



Talking without listening

Weak communication skillsG d



Grudges

Weak communication skillsF t ti



Frustration



Different



Different

Personalities

CAUTIOUS DARING

Different



Different

Personalities

RIOTQUIET

Different



Different

Personalities

DELIRIOUSSERIOUS



Different

Interests



Different

Interests

Different Interests



Different Interests



Different Values



Different Values

Child-rearing practices

CONDEMN CONSOLE

Different ValuesPurpose of life



Purpose of life

PLEASURESERVICE

Different ValuesR li i b li f i



Religious beliefs or practices

ENGAGEIGNORE

Different ValuesThe use of money



The use of money

SAVESPEND

Different ValuesGoals for life



Goals for life

THE GOAL SHAPES THE PLAY



You have seen:

1. What conflict is 2. Where it comes from

See the next part:

WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT



Documents

1. Conflict-What It is & Where Its From