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Coaching Self and Others

David BirchAshridge Consulting

What is coaching?

Creating the conditions for something new to come into being...

Requires that we slow down and bear uncertainty in order to create a future and respond flexibly

Is a joint discovery with the coach sitting alongside their client

Change happens in the room when the coach offers genuine openness, support, courage and curiosity

Coaching works at three levels

HEAD

HEART

WILL

What do I understand?

What do I feel?

What do I intend to do?

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Powerful questions shift the nature of the future

• What is the story I keep telling about the problems around here?

• What is my attachment to this story costing me?

• What is the crossroads I face at this stage in the game?

• How much risk am I willing to take?

• What is my contribution to the very thing I complain about?

• What are my doubts and reservations?

How am I listening?

CompassionatelySeeing people as having:• Feelings• Needs• Values

Attitude: Empathising

“I am curious, want to understand their feelings, needs and values… and my own”

CriticallySeeing people as:• Hostile• Inadequate• Self-serving

Attitude: Blaming

“They are wrong/difficult/naïve… or I am”

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A chance to practice

In pairs decide who is the coach and who is the client

•Client tells a story about an unresolved issue involving themselves and another person

•Coach listens compassionately and asks powerful questions

•Coach feeds back - without judgment - what they are picking up about the client’s ‘feelings, needs and values’

•Review what has changed for coach and client