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Chapter 8Conversations

Chapter 8Conversations

Inter-Act, 13th Edition

Chapter Objectives2

Discuss the characteristics of conversationDescribe the ways in which conversations

may varyIdentify the general guidelines to become a

more effective conversationalistSummarize how culture and technology affect

conversation

Characteristics of Conversations

InteractiveExtemporaneousLocally managedSequentially

organized

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Variation in Conversation4

29 different distinct types of conversation common in friendships and romantic

relationships

Small talk: exchanging messages about inconsequential (small) topics to meet social needs of participants with low risk

Gossip: exchanging messages about other people who are not present

Structure of Conversation5

Purpose: what the conversation is intended to doSequence:

Turn-Taking: alternating between speaking and listening

Scriptedness: using routine conversational phrases or preplanned conversations

Tone: emotional, relational quality and degree of formality

Participants: intended or unintended audienceSetting: physical and emotional environment

Guidelines6

Develop an other-centered focus.Engage in appropriate turn-taking.Maintain conversational coherence.Practice politeness and face-saving.Protect privacy.Engage in ethical dialogue.

Ethical Dialogue7

Authenticity: direct, honest, straightforward information and feelings

Empathy: understanding another’s point of view

Confirmation: affirming others as unique individuals (not necessarily approving of views)

Presentness: taking time, avoiding distraction, being responsive, risking attachment

Equality: treating others as peers, regardless of status

Supportiveness: encouraging participation by praising efforts

Starting a Conversation8

Five ways to open a conversation:Make a commentAsk a questionIntroduce yourselfPay attention to nonverbal cues

Sustaining a Conversation9

• Use free information: information volunteered during the conversation

• Ask questions

Closed-ended: “yes” or “no” answers Open-ended: more elaboration,

explanation• Seek out topics of interest to the other person• Self-disclose appropriately

Actively listen

Closing a Conversation10

Notice and use leave-taking cues (nonverbal behaviors that indicate someone wants to end the conversation).

Verbalize your desire to end the conversation.

Ask to see the person again if appropriate.Close with a brief stock message.

Cultural Variations11

Low-Context Cultures Include categorical

words such as certainly, absolutely

Relevant comments that are directly to the point

Speaking one’s mind Silence is

uncomfortable

High-Context Cultures Include qualifiers

such as maybe, perhaps

Indirect, ambiguous, and less relevant comments

Creating harmony Silence indicates

truthfulness, embarrassment, disagreement

Digital Conversation Skills12

Awareness of audienceDegree of conversational spontaneity Abruptness of disengagementMultiplicity of conversationsAcceptance of interruptionsNotions of privacy

Homework13

Actively choose a conversation partner that you’ve never met or with whom you have had little contact. Practice the communication skills you’ve targeted as your goals, but use the guidelines for holding effective conversations from Ch 8 as well. Write a one-page paper critically thinking about your experience. For example, were you able to hold an effective conversation? Were you able to practice the goals you’ve set for yourself to become a more effective communicator? Why or why not? What factors influenced your communication? What areas would you like to work on more? Follow your rubric, give examples, and discuss applicable areas from your text.