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Wow! What an amazing
smashing crashing
start to the greatest
camp on earth.
It all started late at
night when we all
boarded some cool big
fancy busses with our
suitcases safely thrown
away in a big truck.
The few of us that
made it on time,
quickly got to know the
camp grounds so that
we won’t be caught off
guard later in the
summer.
We were introduced to
our counselor(s) who
were defiantly excited
to see that we made it
alive over the bridge.
We then got to see a
night activity with
schizophrenic NADDB.
That was the first
Chassunah which the
Chosson covered his
face and the Kallah
didn’t have her hair
done.
All week long our
counselors were very
busy marking how good
we played sports in
preparation for draft
day.
We had a IHE
with someone
who liked talking
with a closed
mouth. Really
funny!
Cocoa club started with
a bang, (ouch!) with
Itche Kadoozy and Jono
having their usual
conversations.
Finally at the end of
the week came Shabbos
with all the Chayus
associated with it!
To top it all off we had
Shmoyonkee! NADDB,
CMZ, CAL and PAMZB
had us rolling in corn
flakes for quite a while
and included a Chinese
Mexican and a lady.
The first full week of
camp started with the
announcing of the Soda
Sports League.
When we thought it
couldn’t get any better,
ICE-SKATING!
We went round and
round in circles until
we finally made it to
the ice rink!
After kicking everyone
out of the rink we
started ice-skating in
the water for a couple
of hours.
Then straight to the
park for a picnic and
around 30 games
played simultaneously.
It was an awesome day
never to be forgotten.
Suddenly, signs were
going up, something
was happening… A
Voch In Leibtzik!
Every bunk started
raking in the cash by
making cheers for their
bunk. Apparently
Leibtzik is a city with a
lot of the green stuff.
We all watched a video
of NADDB asking
people for a ride to
Antarctica and getting
the police on his case.
The greatest camp on
earth has officially
begun!
This Newsletter is called
A Tefach Hecher
because:
We are the greatest
camp in the world
We like the name
What else should we call
it?
It rhymes with Becher
which comes before the
newsletter is given out
We made a raffle, and
that’s the name that won
The chipmunks jump A
Tefach Hecher
How to turn off your
bunks PA
749
How to get
connections
1414
What the staff do
after lights out
613
How to cheat fairly 770
How the lake became
wet
718
Who is Alon Zaretzky 735
How to fight nicely 0458
Inside this issue:
My Boich S’vorois
א טפח העכערק פרשת בלק“שב Issue 1
מחנה גן ישראלב“קיץ תשע
ד“בס
Some of you are
wondering what
Debaga means, so
this week we decided
to try and find out a
little about this entity
we call Dbaga Bdaga.
ATH: When were
you born?
NADDB: Eight days
before my Bris.
ATH: Do you read
this newsletter?
NADDB: I can’t read English.
ATH: How do you prepare for
night activity?
NADDB: I eat sugar and make sure
to go to the bathroom beforehand.
ATH: As a night activity
director, what do you suggest
we should do to bring Moshiach
closer?
NADDB: Have Ahavas Yisroel,
especially to your night activity
director and also friends.
ATH: What do you do when your
not preparing for night activity?
NADDB: I give Mishi
mop a bath. Eat
f a r c h a n y u k t e h
Cholent and play
with my baby.
ATH: What’s your
babies name?
NADDB: He doesn’t
want one yet, I’m
trying to convince
him to get one.
ATH: So what do
you call him?
NADDB: My baby.
ATH: Are you also a learning
teacher?
NADDB: I am learning how to be a
teacher.
ATH: What’s your opinion on the
slavery in the cocoa fields in
Colombia?
NADDB: Cocoa sounds good to me.
ATH: A lot of kids seem to be
needing the bunk pass
desperately, what can we do to
stop the epidemic?
NADDB: Change the color of the
pass.
ATH: Which color?
NADDB: Yellow and green together,
it’s very confusing.
ATH: Any final words?
NADDB: Boo!
clouds. The clouds will then carry
the water to Africa where it can be
used to clean elephants.
The elephants would then support
the institute by simply being there
for the researchers to research.
So the next time you go on a bus
remember to take your sweater in
case there are elephants in Africa.
Researchers at the MEdical
inStitute of ice-Skating, otherwise
known as the MESS, have
concluded that a single slip on ice
contains more water than a drop of
water the poor people drink in
Africa. Therefore they suggest that
all ice-skaters should spend time in
the sun, which would hydronate the
water off their clothes, into the
Get to know your staff
The team at the MESS pose for a
group picture
Page 2 א טפח העכער
Most repeated song of the week:
PAMZO: “Ki Heim Chayenu, V’Oirech
Yameinu, V’Oirech Yameeeinu”
Caption describing picture or
graphic.
Dear Mommy and Tatty, Zaidy and
Bubby, Chaim and Uncle Shmuel,
Zelig Dov and Meir Anshel, Chaim
Tzvi and Yocheved Shprintza, Elte
Zeidy and Elte Zeidies mother, Bubbe
Hinda and Bubbe Yente, Bubbe Sarah
and Bubbe Chana Freida Shlita’s,
I just fell off the bus.
Love, Moshe Shmuel
P.S. My counselor said I was not
supposed to use his pen, so it took me
time to find a pen. When I found a pen
the pen didn’t have any ink so I
looked for another pen. I found a pen.
A letter to home
Moshe Shmuel outside the gas
station
raising the price for cups (with
no apparent difference in size),
he forces the public to buy
cones.”
Others have a more sinister
approach. “He’s scared of the
health department,” accuses
Gabrielle Croissant , Director of
Laundry Foldings. “There have
already been rumors that the oil
used for deep frying has been in
that machine since last year.
Word on the grape vine is that
the cups ordered by Akiva’s
Bagels Pty. Ltd. are of a cheaper,
more unsanitary quality. If he
raises the price, less people buy,
which reduces the chances of
being noticed by health
regulators.”
Were this to be the case, the
m o v e h a s b a c k f i r e d
sensationally, with the CCCC
swooping in just days after the
price change.
As to the true reason behind the
price hike, time will tell, with
the inquiry expected to take a
number of weeks.
The owner of Akiva’s Bagels,
who wishes to remain
anonymous, was unavailable to
comment.
By KG2 and KG1
An inquiry has begun by the
CCCC (Canadian Consumer
Code of Conduct) as to the
suspicious price hike in ice
cream sold by Akiva’s Bagels
Pty. Ltd. over the past week.
A representative of the
governing body has informed the
public that the action comes as a
result of repeated complaints by
a number of individuals.
Reports so far vary, with some
unions claiming that ice cream
cup prices have been raised by a
whopping 40%.
Conspiracy theories are already
circulating. “It’s because of the
cones,” claims Mishy Mop, CEO
of Bucket Enterprises. “He over
ordered them, and to recover
from excess stock, he is
manipulating the market. By
I Scream You Scream
“He’s scared of
the health
department...”
Issue 1 Page 3
This newsletter is
brought to you by the
dedicated staff of
Section B+
CSZ
CZG
CSK
CMG