26 GreerNow NOVEMBER 2007

FEATURE

Children of

written by SHERIL BENNETT TURNER

photographed by KRIS DECKER

We witness a miracle every time a child en-ters into life. But those who make their jour-ney home across time & miles, growing within the hearts of those who wait to love them, are carried on the wings of destiny and placed among us by God’s very own hands. - Kristi Larson

the Heart

GreerNow NOVEMBER 2007 27

FEATURE

As a mother myself, I have always thought that the ties that bind a child and parent are like no other. When one is blessed with a natural born

child, a child of the body, there is usually a strong, inherent connection of the mind, body, and soul. But when one actively seeks out a child to adopt, there is a chance for a unique bond, no less strong, that grows not under the heart – but in it. In honor of the National Adoption Month of November, here are three amazing stories from local families who have found the children of their hearts. “We’ve been through the natural birth process, and we’ve also adopted. There’s absolutely no difference in our hearts,” states Laura and Bennie Simmons, parents to three sons - Gran, 17, Hunter, 15, John William, 11 - as well as adopted daughter, Alexis, 13. “We began our adoption experience when the boys were just ages 7, 5, and 1,” Laura says. “We both knew we wanted a little girl to complete our family,” Bennie continues. “I come from a family of all boys, and then Laura and I had three boys in a row. When Laura brought up adopting a girl, I knew it was time to go for the sure thing,” he says with a grin. “I think we were one of the first in this area to internationally adopt,” says Laura. “The paperwork was just exhausting and the fees were more expensive than adopting domestically, but we really wanted a child from another country.” With the help of a local agency in Spartanburg, the Simmons filed for adoption and were overjoyed when they were told of a newborn girl from Vietnam. “When the agency called to tell us that the adoption had failed,” Laura remembers, “we were just devastated.” Then a friend told them about Brenda Baker, an International Program Coordinator, who facilitates adoptions between licensed

adoption agencies in the United States and abroad. “In August of 1997 we made a call to Brenda,” Laura says, “and she asked us if we would be interested in a beautiful three-year-old Russian girl that had recently been put up for adoption by a mother with cerebral palsy. We said sure!” Watching a video of the little girl, Laura and Bennie felt an instant connection. “When we saw her,” Laura recalls, “we knew that she was it. She was just meant to be ours. God does not make mistakes. When a child is placed in a home, God knows exactly where they are going.” They named the little girl, Alexandria Sveta, in honor of her Russian heritage, and waited to bring her home.

Three months later, the couple flew into Moscow and then into Ukhta, a small industrial city in northwestern Russia, to pick up Alexis from an orphanage. “They had been showing her pictures of us, her new Mimi and Papa,” says Laura, “and when she saw my husband she cried out, ‘mon Papa!’” She was her daddy’s girl from the

minute she saw us,” Laura laughs. Back in Greer, Bennie remembers Alexis immediately adjusting to her new home. “One day, soon after we brought her home, we were eating at Ryan’s Steakhouse. There were these two boys, who very

politely tipped their hats at us and said ‘howdy’. For the next month Alexis, who only spoke Russian at the time, would greet anyone she met with ‘howdy’. I believe she was born with a natural southern accent!” Today, Alexis has no memory of her early years in Russia or of her adoption. She has grown into a beautiful, bright young lady

who, like a typical American teenager, loves basketball, dancing, dogs, and family vacations. “I’ve always considered myself just one of the family,” she admits. “I’m

28 GreerNow NOVEMBER 2007

FEATURE

glad I was adopted and I’m very glad I got a good mom and dad. My brothers are good brothers,” she concedes, “but they can be annoying.” Both Laura and Bennie agree that adoption was one of the most wonderful experiences that they have ever had. “When I was just a little girl,” Laura says, “I hoped that someday I could adopt because I was adopted myself. I think it takes a special person to adopt a child. You have to know in your heart that an adopted child is the same as a birth child; that there is no difference. I look at my daughter, Alexis, and I do not see adoptive, I see my child. I also believe that a birth mother that gives her child up for adoption loves them more than you can ever imagine. To these birth mothers, mine included, I want to say thank you. Thank you for wanting better for your child.” “I think God puts the idea of adopting children in the hearts of women,” muses Robbie Gravely. “Us guys are overjoyed when we get a child, but I think it’s the woman’s idea first.” His wife Josie laughs. “Adoption was just something I’ve always wanted to do,” she admits. “Robbie and I even talked about it before we were married.” When Josie’s first pregnancy ended in a miscarriage, the couple agreed to continue trying for their own child, but applied for adoption as well. “If both came through at the same time,” Robbie explains, “that was okay with us, too.” In 1997, they contacted Christian Family Services, a private, non-profit adoption agency that brings domestic birth parents and Christian adoptive parents together. “One interesting thing about this agency,” he continues, “was that we had to put together a giant scrapbook, or portfolio, of different pictures showing our life. We included photos of us standing in front of our home, playing golf, and riding horses - things like that. Also, we each had to write letters to a potential birth mother and we were told to put in a variety of things about ourselves because you never knew what a birth mother was looking for in adoptive parents.” Not long after, the Gravleys were indeed chosen by a mother and later they asked her why she had chosen them. She told them she had picked them because she, too, loved horses. One early Sunday morning in October of 1997, Robbie and Josie left church and were driving to Commerce for the day. Out-of-the blue, Josie turned to Robbie and said, “I want a baby so bad!” Unbeknownst to them, at that precise moment, Jamie Leigh Gravley was entering the world. Their exotically beautiful adoptive daughter, a

mixture of Caucasian and Hawaiian blood, came home with the Gravleys four days later. In 1999, Josie and Robbie were ecstatic to learn that Josie was pregnant and in February of 2000, they were blessed with a fair-haired, blue-eyed son, Samuel Phillip. Two years later, though, Josie’s thoughts once again turned to adoption. “I kept seeing images of a little Chinese girl,” she explains, “and I told Robbie, I want to go to China. I want to go to China. I just knew that was something we were supposed to do.” In August of 2003, the couple began the international adoption process through Harrah’s Adoption International Mission and in May of 2004, the whole Gravley family, including Josie’s mother and sister, boarded a 15-hour flight to China. There they would meet the newest member of their family, two-year-old Li Yong, whom they renamed Kayli Brooke Yong. “Every American who adopts a child from China ends up in the town of Guangzhou,” Robbie explains. “That is where the U.S. Consulate is and on Wednesdays, the adopting families all walk down the street to the Consulate and, en masse, the children are sworn-in

GreerNow NOVEMBER 2007 29

FEATURE

as American citizens.” “When I saw Kayli for the first time, I couldn’t believe my eyes. If I could have drawn a picture of the little Chinese girl I was dreaming of, she was exactly the picture I would have drawn. She also has the perfect personality for our family,” says Josie. Today, Robbie, Josie, Jamie, age 10, Sam, age 7, and Kayli, age 5, are sometimes referred to as the United Nations family. “The kids all look so different,” Josie says, “but the love we have for them is the same. We tend to forget they are not all our natural born children unless,” she laughs, “someone is staring at us, trying to figure us all out.” Because of their experiences, Robbie and Josie encourage others to adopt, domestically and internationally. “I tell people especially,” Robbie says, “that if you are even considering adopting a little girl from China – just do it. Because parents in China are only allowed to have one child, and financially they need a son who can work and help them, there are way too many girls in orphanages. If you don’t go and get them, there will be

a little girl in China who spends her entire childhood in an orphanage.” “I think God had already prepared our hearts for adoption,” Karen Boone remarks. “Like a lot of adoptive parents, my husband Steve and I had tried to have children of our own, but we were unsuccessful. From the get go, adoption was always an option to us and when it came down to the choice between intense infertility treatments and adopting a child, we were both in agreement. We knew we would love an adopted child just as much as a biological one.” In June of 2001, Steve went on a mission trip to Honduras where he fell in love with the people and, especially, the children of Central America. He also had a chance to talk with a close friend who had adopted a baby from El Salvador. The Sunday after he returned, the same friend approached the Boones and asked if they, too, would be interested in adopting a child from El Salvador. Without hesitation, the Boones’ answer was “YES!” The very next day, the couple met with the private adoption agent who told them about a woman in El Salvador, whose baby was due soon. “I think the mission trip and my friend’s adoption talks,” Steve says, “was God’s way of planting the seed in me – guiding us towards this adoption. At that point we began following what we thought God wanted us to do.” The Boones received a phone call the night their daughter, Ryann Eliana, was born. “We were so excited,” Karen says, “but it was bittersweet because she was not with us.” Initially told that the adoption would take nine months to a year, the Boones soon learned that Salvadorian red tape would hold up the adoption for much longer. “We didn’t know it at the time,” Steve says, “but El Salvador does very few international adoptions a year.” Eliana was placed in foster care, while Steve and Karen waited for the government to finalize the adoption. “We were told that we could visit her in El Salvador,” Karen explains, “but I knew in my heart there was no way, as a mother, that I could hold Eliana in my arms then go back home without her.” While they watched their daughter grow up through pictures and videotapes, the Boones learned of another little girl from El Salvador that needed a home. They leapt at the chance to have two children and were ecstatic at the thought of bringing both girls home together. They were a year into the adoption process of Gracie Elizabeth

30 GreerNow NOVEMBER 2007

FEATURE

before they learned that they would be unable to adopt two children from El Salvador at the same time. “Our plan was to bring Eliana home first, then return for Gracie,” Steve says, “but before that could happen, Gracie was returned to her birth family.” Three weeks later, their agent called with news of an infant born in Guatemala that might be available to adopt. Again, the Boones were heartbroken when they learned that the baby, Jose Miguel, had been diagnosed with hepatitis and was not allowed into the adoption system. Just when the Boones decided to focus all their efforts on bringing Eliana home, another baby boy was placed up for adoption in Guatemala. A year later, on April 9, 2004, over forty people met the couple at the airport when they brought their beautiful new son, Aaron James, home. On April 7th, 2005, over three years from when she first

entered their lives, Eliana at last joined her father, mother, baby brother, and new puppy making the family complete. Today, Eliana, 5, and Aaron, 4, look, and act like natural siblings and are absolutely at home with their loving new parents. “It’s like they were never not here,” Karen says with a smile. “But adoption,” she admits, “was a long road for us. We fell into it so fast that we weren’t prepared for the intense paperwork, the emotional roller coasters, and the waiting. The waiting was the worst. We prayed everyday for God to give us patience.” Nevertheless, when asked if they would do it all over again knowing what they do today, Steve and Karen both agree, “Absolutely, without a doubt.” Although these families have very different adoption experiences, their stories have three things in common - God, love, and the heart. Although the road to adoption is, as one couple put it, “not for the faint of heart,” it may just very well be God’s path of love that leads you to the child of your heart. d

GreerNowTV.com