Upload
khangminh22
View
0
Download
0
Embed Size (px)
Citation preview
1 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
A Retrospective Exploration of the Experience, Interpretation and Perception
of Growth in Parents of Young Adults
Diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder
By Victoria Grinman
A dissertation submitted to the graduate faculty in
partial fulfillment of the requirement for the Degree of
Doctor of Philosophy in Social Work
Roni Berger, PhD., Faculty Advisor
Committee Members: Patricia Joyce, DSW Laura Quiros, PhD Elisabeth Counselman-Carpenter, PhD
Adelphi University, School of Social Work Garden City, New York
Fall 2020
2 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
ABSTRACT
This qualitative study was informed by Posttraumatic Growth Theory and used Narrative
Analysis to explore retrospectively the lived experiences, interpretation and perception of growth
in parents of young adult children diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD). Parents in
previous research reported, in addition to the stress and challenges, also experiencing growth and
finding benefits from their parenthood journeys. The research on this duality of stress and growth
in this population is extremely limited, specifically looking at it retrospectively. This study utilized
semi-structured in-depth interviews to document the experiences of a purposive sample of 16
parents raising a child with Autism Spectrum Disorder. The in-person interviews were digitally
recorded and for parents living in another state, interviews were video recorded. All interviews
were transcribed and analyzed to identify common themes that capture the participants’
parenthood journey, its challenges and benefits. Three primary findings of the study are that
parenting children with ASD to young adulthood involves multilayered compounding stress and
negative experience; the parenting process also generates posttraumatic growth (PTG) and other
positive effects; and that parents rearing children with ASD involve unique coping mechanisms,
which include collaborative parenting style and the ASD family unit. Implications for social work
theory, practice, education, policy and research are offered.
3 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
TABLE OF CONTENTS
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
ABSTRACT__________________________________________________________________2
TABLE OF CONTENTS
_______________________________________________________3
CHAPTER 1: FOCUS OF INQUIRY ____________________________________________ 6
CHAPTER 2: CRITICAL REVIEW OF THE
LITERATURE________________________9
Conceptual Framework___________________________________________________10
Critical Review of Empirical Literature _____________________________________ 15
Experiences of Parents in General ___________________________________ 16
Factors that shape parenthood._________________________________ 17 Effects of parenthood and their correlates.________________________18 Experiences of Parents of Children with Chronic Illnesses and/or Disabilities _ 21
Factors that shape experiences of parents of children with chronic illnesses or/and disabilities. __________________________________________ 23 Effects of parenting children with chronic illnesses or/and disabilities._ 25
Experiences of Parents of Children Diagnosed with ASD __________________29
Factors that shape experiences of parents of children with ASD. ______30 Effects of parenting children with ASD and their correlates. _________ 32
Summary of Empirical Findings ___________________________________________ 37
CHAPTER 3: METHOD _____________________________________________________ 37
Research Constructs ____________________________________________________ 37
Study Design and Method________________________________________________ 38
Population, Sample, and Sampling_________________________________________ 39
4 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
Data Collection ________________________________________________________ 42
Trustworthiness _______________________________________________________ 45
Data Management and Analysis ___________________________________________ 46
Ethical Considerations __________________________________________________ 48
Study Limitations _______________________________________________________49
CHAPTER 4: FINDINGS (51)
Multilayered Compounding Stress and Negative Experiences of Parents of Children with ASD
____________________________________________________________________________51
Challenges/ Stressors Related to Parenting in General __________________________52
Challenges/ Stressors Related to Parenting a Child with Chronic Illness/Disability____55
Challenges/ Stressors Related to Parenting a Child with ASD____________________ 58
Compounding Nature of Stressors __________________________________________78
Negative Effects on Parents Rearing Children with ASD ________________________78
Posttraumatic Growth (PTG) and Other Benefits of Parenting a Child with ASD ___________89
New Possibilities _______________________________________________________ 89
Appreciation of Life ____________________________________________________ 92
Personal Growth and Strength ____________________________________________ 95
Relating to Others ______________________________________________________ 96
Spiritual Change _______________________________________________________ 97
Being a contribution to other parents with children with ASD. ___________________ 98
Appreciation of the study as a benefit _____________________________________ 100
Coping of Parents Rearing Children with ASD, Factors that Facilitate Coping, and ASD Family
Unit ______________________________________________________________________ 100
5 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
Coping Strategies _____________________________________________________ 101
Factors Facilitating Parents’ Coping _______________________________________105
ASD Family Unit ______________________________________________________111
CHAPTER 5 - DISCUSSION _________________________________________________114
Implications of Findings ________________________________________________ 134
Implications for Social Work Theory ______________________________________ 134
Implications for Social Work Practice ______________________________________138
Implications for Social Work Policy _______________________________________ 144
Implications for Social Work Education ____________________________________ 149
Implications for Social Work Research _____________________________________152
REFERENCES _____________________________________________________________158
LIST OF TABLES
Table 1: Socio-demographic Characteristics of Study Participants _________________41
LIST OF FIGURES
Figure 1: A Comprehensive Model of PTG ___________________________________12
Figure 2: Challenges experienced by parents of children with ASD_______________ 116
Figure 3: Evolving/ budding/ cascading PTG in parents of children with ASD______ 124
APPENDICES _____________________________________________________________ 217
Appendix A – Recruitment Flyer __________________________________________217
Appendix B – Interview Guide____________________________________________218
Appendix C – Consent Form_____________________________________________ 221 ADDENDUM______________________________________________________________ 223
6 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
Chapter 1: Focus of Inquiry
This research question is important because of its potential short- and long-term impacts
on individuals, families, communities, and society at large, and because of the number of people
impacted.
ASD is a neuro-developmental disorder characterized by deficits in social communications
and social reciprocity, nonverbal communicative behaviors, and skills needed to initiate, maintain
and understand relationships, as well as stereotyped and repetitive patterns of behaviors (e.g., head
banging, flipping objects, or use of idiosyncratic phrases) or interests (e.g., strong attachment to
or preoccupation with unusual objects) (APA, 2013). ASD differs from other developmental and
chronic childhood disorders because of its multifactorial origin, attributed to a combination of
genetic, metabolic or bio-chemical, and neurological factors, as well as the fact that ASD
represents an umbrella for various separate disorders and syndromes such as Rett syndrome,
Asperger’s syndrome and autistic disorder (Faras et al., 2010). ASD is not easily categorized as a
genetic disorder (as is Down syndrome, DS), or as a biological/anatomical disorder (as in brain
malformations), and it is not a definite metabolic/ nutritional disorder (such as childhood diabetes).
Because symptoms of ASD are not static and predictable, the experience of parenting children
with ASD is unique and difficult to adjust to (Huws, Jones, & Ingledew, 2001; O’Brien, 2007). It
is difficult to “see” ASD or its manifestation in public, yet behaviors associated with the diagnosis
are usually overt, visible and often misunderstood, as it is often assumed that they are the result of
bad parenting (Neely-Barnes, Hall, Roberts & Graff, 2011). This stigma results in exclusion,
stereotyping and rejection, further complicating the parenthood experience and potentially
contributing to parents’ and families’ insurmountable challenges in raising a child diagnosed with
7 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
ASD, especially when children integrate into the larger social context (Kinnear, Link, Ballan &
Fischbach, 2016).
Estimates of the prevalence of ASD differ depending on the diagnostic criteria used,
particular country’s socio-economic status, the state of healthcare and child services, social
awareness of and stigma related to ASD, and the methodologies employed (Baio, Wiggins, et al.
2018; Mandell et al., 2002; Tek & Landa, 2012). For example, prevalence of ASD was estimated
at 18.75/10,000 in Northern European countries, 11.6/10,000 in Western Pacific/ South Asia
region, and 65.5/10,000 in the United States (Elsabbagh et al., 2012; Hughes, 2011). ASD is
considered the second most common serious developmental disability next to mental retardation
or intellectual disability (Newschaffer et. al., 2007). As per CDC, the number of children diagnosed
with ASD in the United States has increased consistently (by 123% since 2002, 64% since 2006
and 29% since 2008) regardless of racial, ethnic and socioeconomic affiliation; thus, the number
increased from one in every 68 (1.5%) children in 2014 to one in every 59 (1.7%) in 2018 (CDC,
2014, 2018). This increase in prevalence has been attributed to changes in strategies for
identification, diagnosing and serving children, as well as increased awareness of doctors, teachers
and parents (CDC, 2014).
As the number of children diagnosed with ASD grows exponentially, it generates much
higher demands for social work and mental health services for parents, caregivers and families,
who are impacted by the condition, and requires the development of more comprehensive
knowledge about all aspects of the experience.
Research related to the experience of parents of children diagnosed with neuro-
developmental disorders (ND), specifically ASD, has focused on hardships in raising children with
ASD (O’Brien, 2007; Reichow, 2012; Warren, et al., 2011; Baker & Drapela, 2010; CDC, 2014),
8 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
ambiguous loss and grief (Boss, 2009; O’Brien, 2007), negative short- and long-term mental health
outcomes, such as psychological distress, depression, and PTSD symptoms (Benson, 2010; Bitsika
& Sharpley, 2004; Boyd, 2002; Casey et al., 2012; Hayes, & Watson, 2013; Khamis, 2007; Pozo
& Sarria, 2015; Walsh, Mulder, & Tudor, 2013) and the overall wellbeing and its correlates (Myers
et al., 2009; Pozo & Sarria, 2015; Resch, Benz, & Elliott, 2012 a).
Studies of positive outcomes of parenting a child diagnosed with ASD addressed parental
positive perceptions, experiences, and benefits finding (Kayfitz, Gragg, & Orr, 2010; Markoulakis,
Fletcher, & Bryden, 2012), coping (Dabrowska, 2010; Lyons et al., 2010; Wang et al., 2011),
resilience (Bekhet, et al., 2012; Easterbrooks, et al., 2011) and growth (Strecker, Hazelwood, &
Shakespeare-Finch, 2014; Zhang, Du, et al., 2013; Zhang, Yan, et al., 2013). Only a handful of the
studies of the quality of parental experience raising children with ND/ASD addressed both positive
and negative aspects (Landsman, 2003; Larson, 1998; Myers, et al. 2009; Phelps, Hodgson,
McCammon, & Lamson, 2009a).
While existing studies looked mostly at parental experiences related to times when children
are still young, from toddlers (Kozlowski, Matson, Horovitz, Morley, & Neal, 2011) to young
children and adolescents (Smith, Seltzer, Tager-Flusberg, Greenberg, & Carter, 2008), only a few
studies examined experiences of parents of young adults with ND/ASD (Pozo & Sarria, 2015).
This study captures the “holistic” experience of parents with children with ASD, rather than “in
the moment”/ child age-specific experience. Further, most studies of parental experience of raising
children with ASD were observational, and included the cross-sectional (Estes, Munson, Dawson,
Koehler, Zhou, & Abbott, 2009; Manning, Wainwright, & Bennett, 2011) or longitudinal (Gray,
2002; Gray & Holden, 1992; Lounds, Seltzer, Greenberg, & Shattuck, 2007) analysis of such
experiences. There are just a few studies that looked retrospectively at the experience of parenting
9 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
of children with ASD (Casey, et al., 2012); however, these studies did not focus on retrospective
cumulative and positive/transformative experiences of these parents, especially after their children
are grown. Further, most available research addressed the overall negative and positive
experiences utilizing various scales for identifying the growth (Ambrus, 2019), whereas this study
focused on the perceived self-reported positive/post-traumatic growth experience of parents after
their children became young adults as a result of their struggle due to experiences of parenting of
a child with ASD.
The present study is important because no previous research has looked at the parenthood
journey from the perspective of layers of the experience capturing the duality of trauma (stresses
and benefits), thus, it is expected to broaden and deepen the understanding of the experiences of
parents raising children with ASD who have found benefits from their experience and can share
from a perspective of looking back on their journeys. Findings from this study are anticipated to
enhance the understanding of the benefit finding and growth that parents self-identify in retrospect,
after their children enter adulthood and allow deeper appreciation of the struggle and the
experience of parents with children diagnosed with ASD by clinicians, and the development of
strength-based and expert companion (Calhoun & Tedeschi, 2006a) strategies and interventions to
support these parents and families and to fostering growth efficiently.
Chapter 2: Critical Review of the Literature
This chapter includes a discussion of the conceptual framework that informs the study
and a critical review of empirical knowledge related to this inquiry.
Conceptual Framework
10 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
This study is informed by the model of posttraumatic growth (PTG), which was developed
by Tedeschi and Calhoun (1995, 1996, 1999) to address positive psychological changes that some
people experience as a result of the struggle with challenges brought up by the exposure to a
traumatic event. PTG has been considered both a process and an outcome (Zoellner & Maercker,
2006), of the cognitive-behavioral processing of the traumatic event, which had caused
psychological and emotional distress by challenging the status quo, beliefs and goals, assumptive
worldview, and interruption of the life narrative of individuals, couples, families or communities
(Berger, 2015; Berger & Weiss, 2009; Janoff-Bulman, 1992; Tedeschi & Calhoun, 1999, 2006).
Acknowledgement and fostering of growth is valuable in clinical and supportive services settings,
as these can allow people to live a life with more meaning and prepare them for handling later
events in life with more ease (Janoff-Bulman & McPherson Frantz, 1997).
The original theoretical PTG Model included broad categories of growth that included
three general domains: (1) changes in the perception of self, (2) changes in the experience of
relationships with others, and (3) changes in one’s general philosophy of life (Tedeschi & Calhoun,
1995). After factor analysis of data collected in the US, the PTG Model was modified to include
five main domains of growth: (1) seeing new possibilities, (2) relating to others, (3) personal
strength, (4) spiritual change, and (5) appreciation of life, although the authors allowed changes
beyond this common core specific to the struggle with particular stressors (Tedeschi & Calhoun,
1996). Although the phenomenon of PTG is universal, the specific number and types of domains
are culture-dependent, as the fundamental components of values, relationships, beliefs, self-
perceptions, as well as the meaning of stress, crisis or growth differ among cultures (Ho & Bai,
2010; Splevins, Cohen, Bowens, & Joseph, 2010; Tedeschi, Cann, & Calhoun, 2010; Wagner &
Maercker, 2010; Weiss & Berger, 2010).
11 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
While there is consensus that resilience and PTG are related, there are diverse views
regarding the nature of the connection. Some describe PTG as an aspect of resilience (Szanton,
Gil, & Thorpe, 2010), i.e. the ability to recover or rebound to a pre-trauma state; others suggest
that resilience and PTG are different (Steele & Kubin, 2011), as PTG is the perceived growth
which manifests through characteristics not present prior to traumatic experience (Turner & Cox,
2004); and others view resilience and PTG as different and curvilinearly (Tedeschi & Calhoun,
2004) or negatively (Shilling, 2012; Zerach, Solomon, Cohen, & Ein-Dor, 2013) correlated.
Figure 1 presents the key elements of the PTG model that was proposed originally by
Calhoun and Tedeschi in 1996, and which incorporated the changes proposed later to the original
model (Calhoun & Tedeschi, 1998; 2004).
12 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
Figure 1
A Comprehensive Model of PTG
Note. From “Handbook of Posttraumatic Growth: Research and Practice,” by L.G. Calhoun and
R.G. Tedeschi, 2006, p.8.
The cognitive process of PTG as depicted in figure 1 begins with a person pre-trauma,
with all their individual differences and culturally influenced assumptive world beliefs. As per
this model, the person pre-trauma experiences a seismic (potentially disruptive) event, and the
characteristics of this event (such as high magnitude that disturbs the status quo, high threat to the
assumptive world, nature- or human- made) that challenge one’s assumptive beliefs, which leads
13 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
to disruption of the goals or/and life narrative (Berger & Weiss, 2009; Calhoun & Tedeschi, 2013).
This may cause emotional distress and include affective, cognitive, social and somatic components
(Berger, 2015; McCubbin, Thompson, & McCubbin, 1996). When a stressor disrupts the narrative
so much that the person conceptualizes the event as dividing life into a “pre” and “post” event, it
can initiate rumination, which is a process of cognitive engagement aimed to make sense of the
event, while making possible changes in cognitive schemas. Through rumination, one gets
involved in self-analysis and self-disclosure, and management of emotional distress, with distal
and proximal socio-cultural influences, and possibly achieves PTG (Calhoun, Cann, & Tedeschi,
2010; Weiss, & Berger, 2010). Two types of rumination are described in PTG model: an intrusive/
automatic, “brooding” rumination directly following the event and, later on, a deliberate,
reflective, constructive, meaning-making reflection, reorganization of global beliefs, and
reconstruction of a more complex life narrative (Calhoun & Tedeschi, 2006; Nolen-Hoeksema &
Davis, 1999; Zoellner & Maercker, 2006). This cognitive processing allows the development of a
worldview from a different perspective and potentially achieving PTG (Joseph & Linley, 2008).
Continued intrusive and deliberate rumination were proposed to be predictive of PTG, and the
level of intrusive rumination is predictive of the level of deliberate rumination (Cann et al., 2010;
Xinchun, Xiao, Yufei, & Yuanyuan, 2015). PTG tends to occur more likely when the person is
involved in deliberate rumination with a wide variety of content, realization that the “seismic
event” did happen, and there is a lag of time between the event and appreciation of what happened
(Calhoun & Tedeschi, 2006). There is a positive relationship between the level of one’s cognitive
engagement with various elements of life crisis and the level of PTG (Linley & Joseph, 2004;
Manne et al., 2004).
14 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
Individual or systemic differences prior to the traumatic event, such as personality, gender,
dispositional attributes (optimism, hope, extraversion, openness, creativity, self-efficacy),
assumptive world-view (i.e. the general set of beliefs the person has about the world, how it works
and one’s place in it), and personal resources (income, education, religiosity, spirituality) influence
the likelihood and amount of possible subsequent PTG (Berger & Weiss, 2009; Calhoun &
Tedeschi, 2013). Socio-cultural influences i.e. aspects of the environment can influence both the
assumptive worldviews and possible growth. Proximal and distal influences may impact on the
kind, frequency and amount of social support and the social context within which people live.
Proximal influences include social support, role models, support for schema/narrative change, and
PTG. Proximal influences are people, groups and smaller social networks that the individual
interacts with, such as family and close friends, religious groups and congregations, a gang or a
team. Distal influences are the broader themes of connection that the individual is influenced by
such as societies, cultures, and countries (Calhoun & Tedeschi, 2004, 2013). There are three
important elements of the proximal influences: responses of important others to disclosures related
to trauma, congruence of the traumatized person’s ruminations with the thoughts of significant
others regarding the traumatic situation, and presence of models of PTG (Calhoun & Tedeschi,
2004). This PTG model was initially conceptualized as exclusively related to individuals, but later
expanded to include groups, families, and communities (Berger & Weiss, 2009; Tedeschi,
Shakespeare-Finch, Taku, & Calhoun, 2018).
The aforementioned elements in the universal PTG model translate in the context of this
research as follows. The pre-trauma characteristics are parents’ individual differences, cultural
influences, and assumptive world beliefs about what the experience of raising their child would be
prior to the point of receiving the ASD diagnosis. The potentially disruptive event refers to
15 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
receiving the ASD diagnosis of one’s child and all other diagnosis related issues, such as lengthy
process and late ASD diagnosis, insufficient or no early services, and societal stigma related to
child’s atypical behaviors. This potentially disruptive event challenges the parents’ life narrative
and their beliefs about parenting and the future, and together with “ambiguous loss” (O’Brien,
2007), may cause emotional distress. Parents’ emotional distress is getting processed through
ruminations, which are at first mostly automatic/ intrusive, and then – deliberate/ reflective/
constructive ruminations that help parents to revise and reconstruct their life narrative. This leads
to acceptance of the new/ changed world, recognition of strength, resources, possibilities, and
retrospectively potentially finding benefit from parenting a child with ASD diagnosis, as well as
increased wisdom, well-being, life satisfaction, and finding joy from the parental experience and
from being a contribution to others.
Critical Review of Empirical Literature
The experience of parents of children diagnosed with ASD is unique, as it encompasses
the experiences of parents in general, experiences of parents of children with chronic illnesses
and/or disabilities in particular, as well as specific experiences of parents of children diagnosed
with ASD. Empirical literature often uses the terms “parenting” and “parenthood”
interchangeably; parenting represents the process of rearing of the child (Ruddick, 1979) and
parenthood as the status of being a parent (vs. being childless) (Umberson, Pudrovska, & Reczek,
2010), i.e. the whole gamut of experiences of the parents as individuals and in their relationships.
In this review, the concept “parenthood” will be used to define the experiences of parents during
the process of being a parent.
Available empirical literature documented the stressors/ factors that shaped parenthood,
which can be grouped as the experiences of parents in general, experiences of parents of children
16 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
with chronic illnesses or disabilities, and experiences of parents of children with ASD specifically.
Due to the “circularity” of the concepts of parental, family stressors and responses to stress, in
some cases, it is almost impossible to distinguish the stressors from the effects (Smith, 1984). This
circularity is observed when the source of stress is not inherent in the stressor, but is a part of
parents’ reactions to stress, including interpersonal conflicts and extended family and society
related factors that are initially not obvious (McCubbin et al., 1980).
Experiences of Parents in General
Parenthood is a developmental phase that undergoes constant revisions due to personal and
societal influences (Benedek, 1959; Erikson, 1956; Schor & AAPTFF, 2003). The need to be a
parent was placed by evolutionary psychologists on the top of the revised pyramid of human needs,
mostly because of biological motivation for reproduction of one’s genes (Kenrick, Griskevicius,
Neuberg, & Schaller, 2010; Finkel & Eastwick, 2015; Segers, Pennings & Mertes, 2019), even
though some people make a choice to remain childless, cannot conceive or are childless not by
choice. Individuals who become parents experience first the challenges of the transition to
parenthood, which lasts about a year after the first child is born (Crnic, Gaze, & Hoffman, 2005;
Crouter & Booth, 2003). Having a child (especially the first one) was ranked as the sixth out of
102 stressful life events (Deater-Deckard, 2004; Dohrenwend et al., 1978). During the transition
to parenthood, both mothers and fathers find themselves “living in a new and overwhelming
world” (Nyström & Ohrling, 2004, p.319).
The transition to parenthood is considered a transformative psychological experience that
involves stresses and a consequent combination of negative and positive effects (Doss et al., 2009;
Huston & Holmes, 2004; Nomaguchi, & Milkie, 2003; Nyström & Ohrling, 2004; Umberson et
al., 2010). Parents provide social support, socialization, and life skills for their children for a
17 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
prolonged and constantly increasing amount of time, leading them to experience a mix of positive
and negative effects of parenthood throughout their lives (Cherlin, 1988; Sandberg & Hofferth,
2001; Schor & AAPTFF, 2003). This section will discuss the empirical studies of parents in
general, specifically the knowledge about factors that shape parenthood, and effects of parenthood
and their correlates.
Factors that Shape Parenthood. Biological, socio-economic, and parent-, family and
child- related factors shape parenthood. Biological factors include Maslow’s (1970)
needs/motivations for reproduction, actualization, belonging, and the need for creativity and
improving the world for future generations (Griskevicius et al., 2006; Kenrick et al., 2010). Socio-
economic factors include financial strains when people become parents (Nelson et al., 2013) as
well as resources and social support to families, social policies related to paid work leaves, work
flexibility, and childcare (Feldman, Sussman, & Zigler, 2004; Glass et al., 2016). Parent related
factors include parent’s gender (Katz-Wise, Priess & Hyde, 2010; Santtila, et al., 2008), marital
status (Evenson & Simon, 2005; Knoester & Eggebeen, 2006; Nomaguchi & Milkie, 2003),
race/ethnicity (Coles, 2009; Lu, 2006; Nilaweera et al., 2014), prior relationships and attachment
styles (Rholes, et al., 2001), and participation in workforce (Goldberg & Perry-Jenkins, 2004).
E.g., mothers and fathers have different challenges during the transition to parenthood, mostly
related to the typical unbalanced division of parental responsibilities where mothers carry most of
the child’s care, while fathers take on the role of the provider and defender (Nyström & Ohrling,
2004). Family related factors include socioeconomic status (Goldberg & Perry-Jenkins, 2004;
Koropeckyj-Cox et al., 2007), immigration and acculturation status (Bornstein & Cote, 2006;
Nilaweera et al., 2014). Parents of lower socio-economic status experience financial hardships that
lead to inconsistent discipline by both parents, decrease in parental nurturance (Lempers, et al.,
18 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
1989), loss of mutual parental respect (Conger et al, 1990), and more frequent child abuse referrals
(Gillham et al., 1998). Other family related factors are parental cohesion, loyalty, and commitment
(Lawrence et al., 2008), and re-evaluation of roles and responsibilities (Grote & Clark, 2001; Farr,
& Patterson, 2013; Fennie, 2001), with family structure playing the major role (Avison et al., 2007;
Hofferth & Goldscheider, 2010). Relevant family structure aspects include family composition
and parental roles such as single parenthood (Olsson & Hwang, 2001), teenage parenthood
(Haveman & Wolfe, 1994; Manning et al., 2004), cohabitation before marriage (Kamp Dush et al.,
2003; Stanley et al., 2004; Stanley et al., 2006), stepparenthood or dual parental roles (Pace &
Shafer, 2015; Umberson et al., 2010), and the residence of a biological or stepchild (Ganong &
Coleman, 2004; Umberson & Gove, 1989). Other family circumstances include adoptive
parenthood (Goldberg & Smith, 2014; Salcuni et al., 2015), same sex parenthood (Cao et al., 2016;
LeBlanc et al., 2015; Frost et al., 2016), as well as the skipped generation of grandparents raising
grandchildren in the absence of parents (Fields, 2003; Hughes et al., 2007), or the sandwich
generation of individuals that are involved in care of their elderly parents and their children at the
same time (Pierret, 2006; Schor & AAPTFF, 2003). In the literature, the above family composition
structures have been referred to as non-traditional (Holden, 2014). While this is the terminology
used to date, it offers a judgmental and hierarchical versus a pluralistic language that is non-
inclusive (Allen, et al., 2000; Amato, 2000). Child related factors include child’s age (Evenson &
Simon, 2005; Kluwer & Johnson, 2007) and demands related to child care (Doss et al., 2009;
Goldberg et al., 2010; Schor & AAPTFF, 2003).
Effects of Parenthood and Their Correlates. Parents experience a mixture of negative
and positive effects that can coexist and can interfere with functioning, but also provide parents
19 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
with the opportunity to cope, be resilient, and thrive (Berger, 2015). Most studies of parenthood
concentrate on particular effects or their combinations, and their correlates.
Negative Effects. Parenthood in general may produce a multitude of negative effects
(Glass, Simon, et al., 2016), and most studies concluded that “people are better off without having
children” (Hansen, 2012, p. 29). Parenthood in general may produce individual and relational
negative effects, which may impact the effectiveness of parents’ coping skills and parenting styles.
Individual effects are related to parental emotional well-being and parental health. Parenthood is
negatively associated with parental emotional well-being (Gilbert, 2007; Glass, 2016; Hansen,
2011; McLanahan & Adams, 1989; Nomaguchi & Milkie, 2003; Ross & Van Willigen, 1996;
Simon & Nath 2004; Umberson & Gove, 1989), especially during the phases of transition to
parenthood (Blegen et al., 2014; Evenson & Simon, 2005; Kahneman, et al., 2004; McLanahan &
Adams, 1987; Umberson et al., 2010) and the “empty nest” (Evenson & Simon, 2005; Milkie,
Bierman, & Schieman, 2008; Koropeckyj-Cox, 2002; Pudrovska, 2008). Parenthood is also
associated with increased health risk for chronic medical (Wickrama, et al., 2001) and mental
health conditions like depression (Evenson & Simon, 2005), especially for single women with
children (Avison, et al., 2007; Goldberg, et al., 2010), teen parents (Henretta, 2007; Spence, 2008;
Taylor, 2009), and women with short maternity leave (Feldman, Sussman, & Zigler, 2004).
Parental sleep problems, including sleep deprivation and depression, feed and potentiate each other
(Bhati & Richards, 2015; Saxbe, et al., 2016), and may cause transmission of depression within a
couple such that depression in one of the spouses can predict depressive symptoms of the other
(Cameron, et al., 2016; Saxbe et al., 2016). Postpartum mental health disorders are very prevalent
(Paulson, et al., 2006; Smith, et al., 2016), with a risk of 40%, and actual diagnosis in 10-15% of
all mothers (Lawson, et al., 2015).
20 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
Relational effects pertain to marital, social, and parent-child relationships. Marital
relationships experience significant abrupt and lasting adverse change, especially during the
transition to parenthood (Knoester & Eggebeen, 2006; Huston, & Holmes, 2004), and marital
satisfaction decrease (Twenge, Campbell, & Foster, 2003), which also reflects transgenerational
transmission of marital dissatisfaction related to parenthood (Perren et al., 2005). For people who
became parents, the overall social relationships (Lang et al., 2006; Lawrence et al., 2009; Provost,
& Tremblay, 1991) and contact with friends decline (Kalmijn, 2012; Rözer et al., 2016), especially
in people who became parents early in life (Rözer et al., 2017) or those with prior problems with
attachment (Rholes et al., 2001; Simpson, et al., 2003). The negative effect of the decline can be
buffered by premarital ability of parents to be resilient, adapting to challenges, and have conflict
management strategies (Cast, 2004; Kluwer & Johnson, 2007; Shapiro et al., 2000). Parent-child
relationships can be negatively affected by parenthood stresses, parental coping skills and
parenting styles. E.g., harsh parenting strategies cause intense emotional reactions of their children,
and these in turn further inform parental coping skills and negatively affect the well-being of
parents and children (Fabes et al., 2001; Knoester & Eggebeen, 2006), due to circularity principle
described above.
Positive Effects. Studies that compared parents with non-parents reported that despite all
the aforementioned negative effects of parenthood, parents experienced “momentary” or
“global” positive effects of parenthood (Keizer et al., 2010; McAdams, 2001; Rothrauff &
Cooney, 2008) and concluded that “children are associated with happiness and meaning rather
than with misery” (Nelson et al., 2013, p. 2). In some studies, parents reported higher satisfaction
with activities of child care, when compared with other daily activities (Kahneman et al., 2004;
Nelson et al., 2013).
21 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
Positive effects of parenthood are increased parental well-being (Umberson, Pudrovska, &
Reczek, 2010), improved parental health and mental health (Nelson et al., 2013) and increased
purpose, gratification and reward, appreciation of life, feeling of satisfaction and meaning of life
(Nelson, et al., 2013; Russell, 1974; Umberson & Gove, 1989; White & Dolan, 2009). Parental
gender, marital status, and age moderated the increased global and moment-to-moment parental
well-being effect (Nelson et al., 2013; WVS, 2006); e.g., parents reported frequent thoughts about
meaning, but only fathers showed increased happiness and satisfaction with life (Nelson, et al.,
2013). While all parents, irrespective to their marital status, reported increased happiness and
satisfaction with life, unmarried parents showed less satisfaction with life than their married
childless counterparts. Age of parents affected their life satisfaction, with relationships more
positive for older parents, but not happiness or thoughts about the meaning of life. Feeling of
satisfaction and increased life meaning in parents were confirmed by multiple studies (Nelson, et
al., 2013; Russell, 1974; Umberson & Gove, 1989; White & Dolan, 2009), some of them showing
that parents ranked childcare as the highest among other daily activities (Kahneman et al., 2004).
Improved parental health and mental health signs, such as feeling of happiness, depressive
symptoms and more positive emotions during the day activities were correlated with being a
mother, in comparison with their married or single childless peers (Nelson et al., 2013).
Experiences of Parents of Children with Chronic Illnesses and/or Disabilities
Chronic illness of children imposes wide-ranging impacts on their parents (Muscara, et al.,
2018). Childhood chronic conditions may exert greater psychological and physical stress than
acute illnesses that resolve quickly (Martin et al., 2009), mostly as a “consequence of processes of
allostatic load that include the physical and psychological wear and tear associated with prolonged
or repeated demands that characterize chronic stress” (Compas et al., 2012, p.2; Juster et al., 2010).
22 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
Experiences of parents of children with disabilities or chronic illnesses are shaped by
greater or additional stresses than parents of children without disabilities (Affleck & Tennen, 1993;
Baker-Ericzen et al., 2005; Dellve et al., 2006; Dyson, 1996; Florian & Findler, 2001; Muscara et
al., 2015; Turnbull et al., 1993; Yamaoka et al., 2015). These stresses include the need to
restructure family’s finances, invest time and efforts in finding medical and support resources, and
redefine each family member’s role, which present greater challenges for parents of a child with a
disability (Compas et al., 2012; Daire et al., 2011), especially for mothers (Olsson & Hwang,
2001). The experience of these parents was found to be of a compounding nature (Compas et al.,
2012; Daire et al., 2011; Harrison & Sofronoff, 2002; Hughes, 1999; Scherzer, 1999).
The literature is peppered with confusion regarding chronic illness and disability. While
no common criterion for childhood chronic illnesses exists, they share at least three major features,
i.e. prolonged duration, no spontaneous resolution, and rarely complete cure (Stanton et al, 2007).
Multiple perspectives on disability include the ones focusing on chronic health conditions, or
higher than normal health risks; and/or the limitations imposed on regular life activities by various
chronic healthcare needs (HRSAMCHB, 2013). Because of this confusion, some authors preferred
the concept of “other-then-normal” children (Nelson, 2002). In addition to the absence of definite
criteria of chronic illness or disability, the relevant research employed methods that vary, resulting
in inconsistent and sometimes contradicting ranges in prevalence rates of the proportion of children
with one or more chronic medical conditions (Newacheck, 1992). Some epidemiologic studies
state that one in every four American children (25 percent) suffer from chronic health problems
(Compas, et al., 2012; van der Lee, et al., 2007), and one in every five American children (20
percent) was considered to have a disability (Waldman, et al., 2012), while others found that up to
50 percent of all U.S. children have a disability, if children with conditions that last less than a
23 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
year or who have had at least one chronic condition at any time in childhood are included (Halfon
et al., 2012). The trend of children’s disabilities had shifted in the last decade from predominantly
physical conditions to developmental and emotional conditions (Delaney & Smith, 2012; Halfon
et al., 2012). In economically wealthy countries, childhood chronic illness becomes more prevalent
than acute (Halfon & Newacheck, 2010), mostly because of early detection and diagnosis,
improved medical care, technology, and access to services that had increased survival of children
with various medical risks (Anderson et al., 2007; Compas et al., 2012; Yui et al., 2015). Also,
more children have chronic illnesses and they are cared for at home rather than institutionalized.
All of the above represented the paradigm shift in care for chronically ill that started in the 1980s
(Kepreotes et al., 2010). This paradigm shift explains the compounding nature of the stress
imposed on parents of children with chronic illness and disability because the parents are caring
for these children much longer (years and sometimes decades) and they take care of them in their
homes rather than visiting them in institutions.
Factors that Shape Experiences of Parents of Children with Chronic Illnesses or/and
Disabilities. Empirical studies related to experiences of parents of children with chronic illness
and/or disability yielded knowledge about factors that shape their parenthood and their correlates.
These factors are socio-economic, family related, child’s illness related, and parents’ new status
of caregivers.
Socio-economic factors include high cost of care (Findler, 2014; Waldman et al., 2012),
societal stigma (Brown, 2013; Lightsey & Sweeney, 2008; Nachshen et al., 2005), negative
societal judgments, low social support and social isolation (Konrad, 2006; Lopez, et al., 2008;
Scrogie, Wilgosh & Sobsey, 2004).
24 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
Family-related factors include interpersonal problems between family members (Kerr &
McIntosh, 2000) and dysfunctional family’s coping strategies (Gupta & Singhal, 2004; Parish et
al., 2012). Because of the aforementioned circularity, some of these family related challenges
represent the outcomes of stress, which in turn serve as compounding stressors themselves, and
some studies report that marital and family functioning in these families may be far more important
predictors of parenting stress than the child’s chronic illness or disability (Neely-Barnes & Dia,
2008).
Child’s illness related challenges are those caused by the diagnosis (Barnett et al., 2003)
and its specific intellectual, neurological, mental and behavioral problems (Baker et al., 2005;
Einfeldet al., 2006; Feldman et al., 2007; Gray et al., 2011; Lecavalier et al., 2006; Muscara et al.,
2015; Nachshen, et al., 2005), a prolonged diagnostic process (Ajesh et al., 2007), inadequate
information provided by professionals (Claesson & Brodin 2002), frequent hospitalizations and
exacerbations of illness (Camfield et al., 2001), care-giving demands, and limited physical
accessibility (Raina, et al., 2005).
Parents’ new status as caregivers. Although caregiving is a natural part of being parents,
the role of caregiving to a chronically sick or disabled child who faces long-term limitations and
dependence adds unique challenges and stresses (Raina et al., 2005; Yamaoka et al., 2015),
especially after deinstitutionalization (Anderson et al., 2007; Raina et al., 2005). In addition, many
healthcare providers do not have appropriate training to address parental stress of caregiving and
issues related to it (Waldman & Perlman, 2007; Konrad, 2006), which in turn potentiate stress on
parents.
Stress factors vary across parents’ gender, ethnic, cultural, and racial lines (Ha et al., 2011;
Green, 2007; Keller & Honig, 2004; Yui et al., 2015). Intrinsic and extrinsic correlates of stress
25 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
for parents of children with chronic illness are often intermixed; for example, intergenerational
transmission of self-regulation, which is important in processing stress for parents of children with
chronic illnesses, includes a mix of prenatal (intrinsic and extrinsic), social/contextual (extrinsic),
and neurobiological (intrinsic) mechanisms (Bridgett et al., 2015).
Some studies relate greater long-term parental stress to the child’s symptoms of emotional/
behavioral nature (Butcher et al., 2008; Wang & Anderson, 2016), lack of control (Sallfors &
Hallberg, 2003), and parental isolation (Butcher et al., 2008). However, studies that controlled for
family income, age of the child, child behavior, parental coping style, maternal education, and the
number of children in the family showed no diagnosis-specific differences in stress for parents
(Abbeduto et.al., 2004; Neely-Barnes & Dia, 2008). Some studies found no substantial differences
in demographic characteristics and psychosocial adjustments of parents of children with various
disabilities or chronic illnesses (Cadman et al., 1991; Shonkoff et al., 1992), while psychosocial
resource such as feeling of competence was found to be a buffer of the stressors in other studies
(Butcher et al., 2008).
Since single-factor changes are rare in real life and because assumptions about additive
relationships cannot be fully verified, estimating the direct/ independent impact of any factor
related to caregiving is of limited value, as such approach lacks the information of indirect
connections between predictor variables and health outcomes (Raina et al., 2005).
Effects of Parenting Children with Chronic Illnesses or/and Disabilities. Encountering
the stresses of parenting children with chronic illnesses or disabilities often marks the beginning
of a process of loss and crisis for parents (Boström et al, 2009; Brown, 2013; Speechley, 2012), a
“binary of ‘normality’ and ‘specialness’” (Leipnik, 2015, p.1288), oscillation between despair and
hope (Sallfors & Hallberg, 2003). Parents grapple with existential issues and questions, “Why
26 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
Me?” “Why my family?” (Kushner, 1983; Seligman, 2000), as they experience the loss of a
“perfect child” (Ellis, 1989) they imagined and desired (Muslow et al., 2002). In addition to effects
of parenthood on all parents, parents of children with chronic illnesses or disabilities experience
unique negative and positive effects related specifically to their child’s illness or disability.
Negative Effects. Negative effects can be immediate and long-term. Immediate effects are
shock and associated feelings such as a sense of injustice, disbelief and anger at the negative
prognosis, pessimism, hostility, guilt, and shame (Barnett, et al., 2003; Ellis, 1989; & Nelson,
2002). Parents report feelings of incompetence and low self-esteem (Butcher, Wind, & Bouma,
2008), despair (Sallfors and Hallberg, 2003) and loss of hope, mostly based on messages of
hopelessness from professionals and others (Kearney & Griffin, 2001; Konrad, 2006). Long-term
negative effects can be individual and relational. Individual long-term negative effects include poor
well-being and physical health (Emerson, 2003; Ha, Greenberg, Seltzer, 2011; Landsman, 2003;
Seltzer et al., 2009; Seltzer et al., 2001; Sullivan-Bolyai et al., 2003; & Tripathi, 2015),
psychosomatic problems (Benson, 2010; Parish, et al., 2012) and sleep disorders (Meltzer et al.,
2015; Sullivan-Bolyai et al., 2003). Parents of children with disabilities experience more mental
health issues, including grief (Ajesh et al., 2007; Kepreotes et al., 2010), suppression of emotions
(Sallfors & Hallberg, 2003), depression, anxiety, suicidal ideation (Ajesh et al., 2007; Bailey et
al., 2007; Benson & Karlof, 2009; Cadman et al., 1991; Coffey, 2006; Weiss, 1991; Yamaoka et
al., 2015), and posttraumatic stress symptoms (PTSS) (Muscara et al., 2015; Phipps et al., 2006).
Some parents describe their mental well-being decline as intangible loss of joy and the spark of
life (Coffey, 2006). These parents also described feeling engulfed or overwhelmed (Atkin &
Ahmad, 2000), frustrated and relentlessly vigilant (O’Brien, 2001). Relational long-term negative
27 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
effects include disruptions in intra-familial relationships, family structure, and family cohesion
(Herzer et al., 2010).
The negative effects that parents experience can become a source of stress. For example,
the negative effects of distress/ Post-traumatic Stress Syndrome (PTSS) due to difficulty balancing
caretaking responsibilities with work and household tasks related responsibilities, and social life
may become stressors that potentiate and perpetuate parental distress, sadness, family arguments,
and child’s negative outcomes (Eccleston et al., 2013).
Correlates of negative effects are a child’s specific diagnosis (Ajesh et al., 2007),
inadequate medical advice and responses of health professionals (Ajesh et al., 2007), and cultural
insensitivity of others (Kepreotes et al., 2010). The negative effects in parents were reportedly
counteracted by “self-support, such as prayer, exercise, distraction, and cognitive strategies…”
(McNeill, 2004, p. 534).
Positive Effects. Despite the negative effects of parenting children with chronic illnesses
or disabilities, these parents reported also experiencing long term individual and relational positive
effects. Individual effects are often described by parents as the duality of suffering and strength,
loss and benefit, and disappointment and personal growth (Konrad, 2006; King et al., 2006).
Studies showed that with time, many parents of children with disabilities tend to adjust positively,
master stress, parental well-being and overall mental health improve, and many parents experience
PTG . Many parents of children with disabilities summarize their overall personal experience and
development in general as positive (Green, 2007; Ljungman et al., 2016; Strecker et al., 2014),
joyful (Ljungman et al., 2016; Schwartz, 2003; Taunt & Hastings, 2002), and extremely rewarding
(Landsman, 2003; Redmond & Richardson, 2003).
28 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
The process of positive adjustment to stress (Heiman, 2002; Ljungman et al., 2016;
Nachshen, Garcin, & Minnes, 2005) usually includes parental vigilance, constant watchfulness,
and living in the here and now, which results in positive feeling of mastering stress (Sallfors &
Hallberg, 2003). Improvement of well-being of parents is expressed in their self-confidence
(Sullivan-Bolyai et al., 2006), feeling of fulfillment (King et al., 2006), of being active, in charge,
and in control, being a protector and monitor of/ advocate for their child (Nelson, 2002; Coffey,
2006), being capable of keeping the balance (Sallfors & Hallberg, 2003), and improved quality of
life (Emerson, 2003). Improvement of parental mental health pronounces itself in eventual decline
in parental depressive symptoms (especially in mothers) (Glidden & Schoolcraft, 2003; Seltzer et
al., 2001).
Many parents of children with chronic illness or disability experience PTG (Barr, 2011;
Cohen Konrad, 2006; Strecker et al., 2014) up to over 60% in some studies (Hungerbuehler et al.,
2011). Elements of PTG were described sometimes as emerging unexpectedly and “coexisting
with the rigors and emotional strain… [allowing these parents] transform in positive ways through
trauma and adversity” (Cohen Konrad, 2006, p.101), “adjust to a new and different way of living,
re-examine their beliefs and values, and change some of their priorities in life” (O’Brien, 2001, p.
16). Some parents of children with disability, such as Down Syndrome, are noted to have positive
experiences of new possibilities, such as taking on new roles of becoming advocates for their
children, as well as acknowledging themselves as becoming better mothers and having personal
growth (Counselman-Carpenter, 2015). Positive effects that are experienced by this group of
parents, such as accepting the new reality, reexamining their belief system, utilizing coping skills
they perceived as effective, and seeking social support could be also considered as signs of PTG,
even if the authors of the studies were not using the PTG concept or model. Coping skills perceived
29 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
as effective were sense of hope [and support], the child as a source of happiness, fulfillment,
strength and of child’s positive contributions can be understood as PTG qualities, and can also
reframe or replace strategies that do not work (Hastings et al., 2005a; King et al., 2006). E.g.
emotion-focused strategies that parents saw as ineffective are substituted with problem-focused
strategies, which in turn produce better parental experiences and health outcomes (Lloyd &
Hastings, 2009).
Relational effects are described as improvement of relationships and marriage after the
child’s diagnosis (Hastings et al., 2002b; Kearney & Griffin, 2001; Scorgie & Sobsie, 2000), which
may serve as protective factors from detrimental health issues (Beresford, 1996; Boström et al.,
2009) as well as be used for further improvement of the parent’s life.
Correlates of positive effects in parents of children with chronic illness or disabilities are
intrinsic, extrinsic, and relational. Intrinsic correlates are higher levels of hope agency and
pathways (Lloyd & Hastings, 2009). Extrinsic correlates are less problematic child’s behavior
(Lloyd & Hastings, 2009), positive management style of medical professionals, including
encouragement of the active role of parents and showing trust in them by professionals (Sullivan-
Bolyai et al., 2006), support by medical specialists in a culturally- and linguistically appropriate
manner (Atkin & Ahmad, 2000), and availability of social support and access to resources
(Emerson, 2003). Relational correlates include communication with other parents of children with
disabilities that serves as a stress buffer, as it provides a sense of normality in an otherwise
“abnormal” situation (Kerr & McIntosh, 2000), and a broadened social network for both parents
and children (Kerr, et al., 2000). More formal supports (e.g., support groups) are salient for parents
of children with more chronic conditions (Canary, 2008) as they nurture feelings of belonging,
empowerment and self-confidence in parents when handling challenges regarding their child with
30 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
disability (Lo, 2010).
Experiences of Parents of Children Diagnosed with ASD
In studies to date, parents of children diagnosed with ASD scored higher on stress levels
than any other groups of parents (Bonis, 2016; Pisula, 2002) because of the lifelong nature of the
diagnosis (Ooi et al., 2016) and its unique stresses, in addition to stress pertaining to parents in
general (Giovangoli et al., 2015; Sander & Morgan, 1997), parents of children with chronic
illnesses (Bluth, Roberson, Billen, & Sams, 2013), and other developmental disabilities (Hastings
& Johnson, 2001). After the ASD diagnosis is made, parental stress manifests in feelings of loss
of “normality” (Ruiz-Robledillo et al., 2014) and mourning the “ambiguous loss” (O’Brien, 2007)
of the typically developing child that they expected to have (Ariel & Naseef, 2006). Studies have
identified factors that shape parenthood and documented negative and positive effects of parenting
a child diagnosed with ASD, and their correlates.
Factors that Shape Experiences of Parents of Children with ASD. Factors that shape
parenting children with ASD are diverse and are subject to stress proliferation (Benson & Karlof,
2009, Ward, 2014), i.e. they tend to create additional stresses themselves. These factors include
acute factors, mostly related to the ASD diagnosis, and chronic factors, related to post-diagnosis
period.
Acute Factors. Predictors of parental stress were related to the diagnosis of ASD and
include symptomatology of ASD and initial diagnostic process (Altiere & von Kluge, 2009; Ariel
& Naseef, 2006; Davis & Carter, 2008; Estes et al., 2013; Giovagnoli et al., 2015; Lyons et al.,
2010; Myers et al., 2009; Ooi et al., 2016). Symptomatology-related factors include the child’s
communication deficits, peculiar and challenging stereotyped or tantrum behaviors, and deficits in
social relatedness with others (Davis & Carter, 2008; Zwaigenbaum et al., 2005). Communication
31 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
deficits of children with ASD diagnosis are described as the inability to initiate and respond to
both verbal and nonverbal social cues (Ooi et al., 2016). Peculiar and challenging stereotyped or
tantrum behaviors exhibited by children with ASD are frequently the only visible signifiers of this
condition, and are often perceived by the general public and the extended family as unacceptable.
Deficits of social relatedness with others include low levels of social engagement, decreased levels
of eye contact, and low social affect (Koegel et al., 2009; Ludlow et al., 2012). Initial diagnostic
process- related factors include the unusually lengthy process, late diagnosis, and lack of parental
education about this specific diagnosis and its implications. While some parents describe having
early on the notion that their child was not developing typically (Kozlowski et al., 2011), others
report having no warnings of an impending diagnosis (Casey et al., 2012; Hastings et al., 2005b;
Mansell & Morris, 2004; Rose, 2011), and perceive the point of diagnosis as “being hit by the
Autism bomb” (Shore, 2006, p. 199). When the diagnosis is made, it is usually delayed by two to
three years, leaving parents subjected to the stress of not knowing what is wrong with their child
for a prolonged period of time (Keenan et al., 2010; Kozlowski et al., 2011). These parents
experience ambiguous loss of the typically functioning child they thought they would have
(Keenan et al., 2010), and some parents describe their child as a burden, which further contributes
to stress (Kheir et al., 2012; Myers et al., 2009). Many parents perceive themselves as left out of
their child’s education and care plans (Keenan et al., 2010), and report insufficient family support
during the time of diagnosis (Coulthard & Fitgerald, 2007).
Chronic Factors. ASD diagnosis related and post-diagnosis related factors represent the
sources of chronic stress for parents of children with ASD. ASD diagnosis related chronic stressors
continue to be the on-going pervasive symptoms of ASD, lack of understanding of the child’s
developmental deficits (Pisula, 2002), the inability to accept these deficits (Davis & Carter, 2008)
32 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
and the permanency of ASD (Sharpley et al., 1997). Post-diagnosis related factors include
uncertainty about the future of the child and of the whole family (Ooi et al., 2016; Poslawsky et
al., 2014 ), and capacity for independence of the child’s future (Siman-Tov & Kaniel, 2010; Smith
et al., 2007), as well as the lack of parental knowledge of the long-term ASD diagnosis
implications, lack of knowledge about the adequacy of post-diagnosis services as well as
dissatisfaction with these services, and lack of appropriate in-depth communication with
professionals involved in the child’s care (Koegel et al., 1992; Osborne & Reed, 2008; Siklos &
Kerns, 2007). Low level of family support post-diagnosis continues to be a long-term stress factor
for parents rearing a child with ASD (Bromley, et al., 2004; Breevaart & Baker, 2012).
Effects of Parenting Children with ASD and Their Correlates. After the diagnosis of
ASD is made, parents undergo a process of grief and loss, which includes phases of shock and
disbelief, sadness and anger, loss of hope, and despair, reorganization of their family structure
(Milshtein, et al., 2010) and learning to accommodate and integrate new priorities and the new
reality (Brown, 2013; Elder & D’Allesandro, 2009; Fleischmann, 2004; Ruiz-Robledillo, et al.,
2014). The effects of parenting a child with ASD can be negative and positive.
Negative Effects and Their Correlates. Rearing a child with ASD can produce individual
and relational negative effects. Individual negative effects include poor overall psychological well-
being (Raina et al., 2005), negative changes in parental mental health, and dysfunctional coping
strategies. Negative changes in parental mental health include psychological distress, anxiety,
depression, and post-traumatic stress symptoms (PTSS), which were reported in about 20% of
parents (Casey et al. 2012; Keenan et al., 2016). Compared to all other parents, parents of children
diagnosed with ASD experience high levels of attachment-related anxiety (Keenan et al., 2016),
especially in mothers (Hastings, 2003), and compared to parents of children with other disabilities
33 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
(Estes et al. 2013; Myers et al., 2009; Wang et al., 2011), they are found to have higher levels of
distress (Bromley et al., 2004), pessimism and depression (Gross et al., 2008; Holroyd &
McArthur, 1976; Kasari & Sigman, 1997; Koegel et al., 1992).
Parental distress may cause further negative effects in a parent’s attitudes and personality,
such as hostility and skepticism (Keenan et al., 2010; Kozlowski et al., 2011). Since the direct
cause of ASD is unknown and is open to individual interpretations, parents often feel guilty and
self-blame for their child’s diagnosis (Bourke-Taylor et al., 2010; Myers et al., 2009; O’Brien,
2007), leading to worse adjustment and increased depression over time (Mickelson et al., 1999).
Dysfunctional coping strategies developed by parents of children with ASD include self-blame,
social diversion, and emotion-focused coping (Cappe et al., 2011; Dabrowska & Pisula, 2010),
which serve as a predictor of stress and pessimism in parents (Dabrowska et al., 2010; Lyons et
al., 2010). Other dysfunctional coping strategies of escape, avoidance (Dunn et al, 2001; Hastings,
et al., 2005b; Pisula et al., 2010), blaming, withdrawal, helplessness (Pottie et al., 2008), and denial
(Dunn et al., 2001; Tarakeshwar & Pargament, 2001) are related to increased distress and mental
health problems (low daily mood and depression) in both mothers and fathers (Hastings et al.,
2005b; Pottie et al., 2008). Dysfunctional coping strategies may become stressors that potentiate
the individual and relational negative effects of parenting a child with ASD, which can be
explained by the circularity principle.
Relational negative effects include negative impact on marital, parent-child relationships,
and impaired family functioning. Problems in marital relationships (Bourke, et al., 2010; Dunn et
al., 2001, Hastings et al., 2005b; Meadan et al., 2010; Myers et al., 2009) include lower relationship
satisfaction (Brobst et al., 2009) and higher divorce rates than in parents of children without ASD,
although even when divorced, they often co-parent their child with ASD (Hartley et al., 2011).
34 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
Parents rearing a child with ASD are also found to have more distant parent-child relationship
than parents of children with other developmental disabilities (Kasari & Sigman, 1997; Koegel et
al., 1992). Parents of children with ASD experience impaired family functioning (Meirsschaut et
al., 2010; Myers, et al., 2009), as well as low adaptability and cohesion (Higgins, et al., 2005),
which in turn may exacerbate the low perception of well-being by parents, even in comparison
with parents of children with other developmental disorders (Abbeduto et al., 2004).
Correlates of negative effects are found to be the parent's gender and the level of support
parents receive. For example, the negative individual effects differ for different genders of a
parent. Because mothers usually assume a larger role in parenting children with ASD (Gray, 2003;
Meaden, Halle, & Ebata, 2010), they experience higher psychological distress (Firat et al., 2002;
Moes et al., 1992) and lower levels of well-being (Dabrowska & Pisula, 2010; Estes et al. 2013)
than fathers. They also show lower perceived attachment and satisfaction, and more guilt,
depression, psychopathology (Firat, et al., 2002; Meirsschaut, Roeyers & Warreyn, 2010), as well
as overall challenged health (Fairthorne, et al., 2014; Fairthorne, et al., 2016) and lifestyle (Gray,
2003), even in comparison with mothers of children with other disabilities (Dabrowska et al., 2010;
Meirsschaut, et al., 2010).
Parent’s gender also plays role in parent-child relationships, as mothers feel closer to their
child than fathers, while father’s relationship with the child is more dependent on child’s
characteristics; e.g., the father-child relationship is less satisfactory with higher communication
and behavioral deficits of the child (Hartley et al., 2011).
Regarding the correlate of the level of support received by parents, it was found that higher
severity of parental distress is associated with lower level of family support and/or higher level of
problematic behaviors in the child with ASD, while feeling the lower level of support was
35 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
associated with being a mother of a boy with ASD, being a single parent, and living in poor housing
(Bromley et al., 2004).
Positive Effects and Their Correlates. Parents of children with ASD also experience
individual, child related, and relational positive effects of parenthood (Myers et al., 2009; Samios
et al., 2009). Individual positive effects include improved well-being, decreased distress, resilience,
PTG, and coping strategies that parents considered effective (Barker et al., 2011; Barker et al.,
2014). Resilience in parents of children with ASD was found to be one of the major positive effects
as well as a significant factor that helped all family members (mothers, fathers, , grandparents, and
other family members) to overcome the stress and burden associated with care (Bekhet, Johnson
& Zauszniewski, 2012). PTG in parents rearing a child with ASD (Strecker et al., 2014) was
manifested in positive changes in parents’ personal beliefs (Coutlhard & Fitzgerald, 1999; King,
et al., 2006), personal growth and self-reflection (Charles & Berman, 2009; Zhang, et al., 2013),
gaining greater patience and control (Myers et al., 2009, Zhang et al., 2013), positive changes in
their life priorities and appreciation of life (Myers, et al., 2009), “reframing life” (Pottas & Pedro,
2016), a new philosophy of life (Zhang, Yan, et al., 2015) and world-view (Bayat, 2004), and
spiritual and/or religious growth or change (Strecker et al., 2014; Zhang, Du, et al., 2013; Zhang,
Yan, et al., 2015). Parent’s perceived effective coping includes increased problem-focused and
cognitive behavioral strategies, planning, positive outlook, reframing, seeking social, spiritual, and
religious support and emotional regulation, religious compromise and distraction coping, lowering
parental expectation about the child’s future, as well as changing their perceptions of meaningful
life (Kheir et al., 2012; Ruiz-Robledillo et al., 2014; Wang et al., 2011). In turn, these coping
strategies are most beneficial for parental (especially maternal) well-being, and lessening of stress,
depression, and daily negative mood (Lyons et al., 2010; Pottie & Ingram, 2008). Many of these
36 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
coping strategies could be seen as representations of PTG. For example, changing parental
perceptions of meaningful life (Kheir et al., 2012; Ruiz-Robledillo et al., 2014) corresponds with
the PTG domain of “appreciation of life,” and could be evaluated as such. Parents also reported
experiencing a sense of support when they became advocates for their child and for other parents
with children with disabilities (Charles et al., 2009; Myers et al., 2009), which also can be seen as
manifestation of the PTG domain of new possibilities.
Child related positive effects include better understanding of the child’s ASD diagnosis
(Altiere & von Kluge, 2009; Ekas, Lickenbrock, & Whitman, 2010; Manning et al., 2010),
improved satisfaction with the diagnostic process (Bayat, 2007), and finding benefit and positive
meaning of child’s disability (Myers et al., 2009; Samios et al., 2009). Parents reported positive
perception of their child’s qualities and uniqueness (Myers et al., 2009; Safe et al., 2012) and
perceive the challenging (and unacceptable by others and society) behaviors of their child as
communication impairments that are less ambiguous and more concrete (Siklos et al., 2007).
Relational positive effects manifested as enriched parental and marital relationships
(Myers, et al., 2009; Samios, et al., 2009), as well as mother-child relationships (Charles et al.,
2009), other relationships in parents’ lives (Zhang, Du, et al., 2013; Zhang, Yan, et al., 2015),
including relationships with medical providers (Hall & Graff, 2010; Steiner, 2011) and increased
level of support (in a form of neuro-psychoeducation) they provide. The other form of positive
relational effect includes informal social support, which produces positive effects such as buffering
stress (especially in mothers) (Charles et al., 2009; Benson, 2006), reducing levels of parental
depression (Benson, 2006; Sharpley et al., 1997) and anxiety (Bitsika et al., 2004; Boyd, 2002),
and contributing to better perceived health in parents of children with ASD (Canary, 2008; Ruiz-
Robledillo et al., 2014).
37 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
The main correlate of positive effects in parents of children with ASD was found to be
parental optimism. Parent’s optimistic character was linked to improved parental well-being and
decreased distress (Bayat, 2007; Bishop, Richler, Cain & Lord, 2007; Ekas, Lickenbrock, &
Whitman, 2010), while parental sense of coherence emerged as the main predictive factor of such
improvement (Pozzo & Sarria, 2015). Parent’s optimism has also been linked to increased social
support (Bishop, Richler, Cain, & Lord, 2007; Ekas, Lickenbrock, & Whitman, 2010) and family
support (Ekas, Lickenbrock, & Whitman, 2010).
Summary of Empirical Findings
The body of empirical literature relevant to the research question has studied the
experiences, particularly the stresses and challenges, negative and positive effects, and factors
associated with parenting in general, parenting a child with a disability and parenting a child with
ASD.
Chapter 3: Method
This chapter discusses the methodology of the study, including definitions and sensitizing
of constructs, design, sampling strategy, sample composition and size, instruments, data collection,
management and analysis, ethical consideration and limitations of the study.
Research Constructs
The constructs studied were parenthood, ASD and PTG.
Parenthood is the state of being a mother or a father with all positive and negative
experiences related to raising and caregiving of a child, as well as constant changes in the
boundaries of parenthood such as alternative family forms and marriages, diverse cultural
composition of families with conflicting convictions about parenthood, and various legal
implications of being a parent (McClain & Cere, 2013; Merriam-Webster, n.d.).
38 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
Parent’s experiences may include psychological distress, changes in well-being, physical
and psychological health, satisfaction with life and relationships, and coping mechanisms to
overcome stresses and adversities of life, as well as changes in the world view related to
parenthood. In this study, the parenthood experience is conceptualized as a composite stressor
(Bluth, Roberson, Billen & Sams, 2013; Hill, 1949; Perry, 2004) of a layered compounding nature.
ASD is defined as a complex developmental neurological disability with mild to severe
symptomatology including deficits in social communication and social interaction, restrictive and
stereotyped patterns of behaviors, interests and activities. It typically appears during the first three
years of life (DSM IV, 1994). Although criteria for ASD diagnosis were revised in DSM-5 (2013),
for the purposes of this study, the definition from the previous DSM-IV (1994) was utilized
because participants’ young adult-age children in this study were diagnosed before the new
diagnostic criteria were introduced. Diagnosis of ASD must have been made by a medical
professional such as a medical or mental health practitioner (psychologist, child psychiatrist,
developmental pediatrician or child neurologist) during the childhood years (as early as 18 months)
and not after the child is grown.
PTG is the experience of positive transformation that an individual reports as an outcome
of struggling with a traumatic event (Tedeschi, Shakespeare-Finch, Taku & Calhoun, 2018). PTG
has a transformative component in which individuals or groups move beyond their previous level
of functioning, and beyond the mere ability to resist and recover from highly stressful conditions
(Lepore & Revenson, 2006; Tedeschi & Calhoun, 2004). In this study, the construct refers to
benefits found by parents or growth they have experienced as a result of the struggle with raising
their child diagnosed with autism.
Study Design and Method
39 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
A qualitative narrative inquiry was used as it is suitable for the goal of the study to allow
understanding retrospectively the unique experiences of parents who have raised children with
ASD and capturing the general themes woven throughout their stories (Creswell, 2012).
Qualitative methodology, specifically narrative inquiry, offers a good fit for this study for two
reasons. First, qualitative methods aim to capture the “inside” subjective interpretations and
perspectives of a reality and seek a deep understanding of the lived experience and how it is given
meaning (Padgett, 2017), as was the goal of this study. People come to understand and give
meaning to their lives through a story, and it is often retrospectively that such understanding and
meaning to events are developed (Polkinghorne, 1995). Parents of adult children diagnosed with
ASD tell stories of their lives, providing an opportunity for the researcher to describe, collect and
tell stories of such lives, and write narratives of the experience (Connelly & Clandinin, 2011).
Second, qualitative methods are appropriate for exploring populations about which there is lack of
knowledge and topics of emotional depth and sensitivity (Padgett, 2017; Sofaer, 1999) such as the
population targeted for the proposed study.
Population, Sample, and Sampling
Parents of any race, socioeconomic status and marital status (married, single) of young
adults, ages 18-30 diagnosed with ASD, were recruited through purposive sampling. Inclusion
criteria were: 1) self-identification as having at least one child between the ages of 18-30 formally
diagnosed with ASD; 2) self-identification as having experienced growth following raising a child
with ASD; 3) English speaking; 4) agreement to participate. Excluded from this study were parents
whose child is younger than 18 years old or older than 30 years of age, has never received a formal
diagnosis ASD, and parents who did not speak English.
40 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
Participants were recruited through posting flyers (Appendix A) in community
organizations in the NYC and Boston areas, advertisements in local parenting magazines,
newspapers, and online forums geared towards parents of children diagnosed with ASD, family
members of parents and other parents, in the network of parents with young adult children
diagnosed with ASD. Snowball sampling was also used, i.e., requesting participants to refer
individuals they may know who share the experience under investigation (Padgett, 2017).
Attempts were made to diversify the sample of participants from the organizations and forums that
received advertisement. Four individuals whose identities were unknown reached out via phone
and email with interest in learning more about the study, but three did not follow through with
participation with no offer of an explanation. One person identified as Bangladeshi, living in
Bangladesh did schedule an interview but at time of the interview, he did not join the virtual
scheduled call. Attempts were made to reschedule but there was no response. Due to this, my
sample failed to be diverse. Parents who responded to advertisements and met the inclusion criteria
were included.
The sample size was determined based on saturation, wherein a deep understanding of the
phenomenon was established as evidenced by no new themes and subthemes emerging (Padgett,
2017). Similar studies included 11 to 21 participants (e.g. Konrad, 2006; Woodgate, Ateah &
Secco, 2008), which offered an estimate of possible N size in this study. The final sample of this
study included 16 parents.
42 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
Sociodemographic Characteristics of Study Participants
Note. In ‘Gender and Age of the Child with ASD column,’ the *(asterisk) designates one of two
children with ASD who were at the center of the parent’s interview.
As shown in Table 1, the sample consisted of 12 mothers and 4 fathers. All 16 parents have
at least one child between ages 18-30 who was provided with a diagnosis of ASD; 12 parents have
more than one child; and two parents had more than one child with an ASD related diagnosis and
preferred to focus on a specific child for the interview. The sample included 14 participants who
identified as Caucasian and two who identified as Asian. Participants resided in the United States
(New York, Florida, North Carolina, Massachusetts, Michigan and New Hampshire) and Japan.
43 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
All participants had advanced degrees, having completed high school and college. Fourteen
participants completed Master’s Degrees.
Participants ranged from 51 to 66 years old, with a mean age of 58 (SD = 4.996) at the time
of the interview. At the time the child was born, the parents’ age ranged from 26 to 43 years old
with a mean age of 34.5 (SD = 4.351). The children of the participants ranged in age from 18 to
27 years old with a mean age of 22.5 (SD = 2.756) at the time of interview. Eleven participants
reported working full time, one participant reported working part time, one identified as semi-
retired, one as retired and caring for a child, and two participants identified as stay-at- home
mothers. Eleven participants reported being married and still living with the spouse with whom
they had their child. One participant reported never being married to the biological father of the
child and raising her child as a single mother. At the time of the interview, she was married (not
to the biological father). Three participants were divorced from their spouse and one reported being
separated at the time of the interview.
Data Collection
The researcher collected data using one in–depth semi-structured interview to capture
participants’ lived experience (Creswell, 2012; Marshall & Rossman, 2011). Specifically,
narrative inquiry was employed, in which the participant and the researcher collaborated to co-
construct the participant’s story and its meaning (Marshall & Rossman, 2011). Information about
the context of the narrator’s personal stories such as their cultural and historical background were
collected (Creswell, 2012). Because language is used as a medium in narrative inquiry and because
cultural differences shape one’s worldview, great care was taken not to prescribe the language
used in the interview (Bauer, 1996). The researcher asked questions that supported participants to
tell their stories in their own way and from their own perspectives. For example, the researcher
44 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
used prompts such as, “tell me the story of” or “tell me about the time when,” and made sure to be
explicit enough for the participant to feel gently guided while remaining open to the direction the
participant took in their response. In addition, particular care was taken not to define terms but to
allow the participant to share their meaning of the experience. For example, the point of diagnosis
was not defined as trauma. Participants were asked to tell about when they first learned or noticed
something was different or concerning.
An interview guide (Appendix B) was developed based on current research about
parenting children diagnosed with ASD. Topics included questions about the younger and later
years of childhood and young adulthood, parenthood roles within the family, and the experiences
of challenges and personal growth as they relate to parenthood of children with ASD. In addition
to questions about the time leading up to the diagnosis, questions regarding others’ (family
members, peers) reactions to the diagnosis, as well as support that was received, were asked since
perceived informal and formal support plays a pivotal role in the parenthood experience (Bromley,
et al., 2004; Duhn et al., 2001) and facilitation of PTG (Tedeschi & Calhoun, 2004). Additionally,
since much of the current literature reflects an assumption of naturally gendered parental roles with
mothers as primary caretakers of children (Crnic, Pederson et al., 2009; Kobak & Madsen, 2008),
a probe (“Tell a little bit about your role, duties or responsibilities within the family”) was used to
elicit information about the participant’s role within the family to better understand whether the
participant falls into naturally/traditionally gendered roles. Questions were also geared to the later
years of parenthood to understand how experiences and ways of coping stayed the same or have
changed over time and what contributed to these changes. The open-ended questions allowed
participants to recall the experiences of parenting from the birth of their child, through the process
of diagnosis of ASD, and following it. Probes of different types such as silent, echo, “uh-huh,” and
45 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
“tell me more” (Price, 2002) were used to steer the conversation and provide clarity, contrast,
historical significance, and to obtain the desired depth and richness (Padgett, 2017). As new topics
emerged during interviews, the interview guide was updated to include new pertinent questions.
After each interview, participants were given the opportunity to ask the PI any questions
they wanted clarified. Some participants declined to ask questions while others asked about the
researcher’s interest in the topic and how the findings will be used to support other parents. Sharing
of self by the researcher is part of the co-construction of the narrative in narrative inquiry (Sfard
and Prusak, 2005), and thus, the researcher shared appropriately her relevant professional and
personal reasons for pursuing research on this topic and her hopes for how the findings will support
the experiences of other parents of children diagnosed with ASD and their families. Some
participants continued to share their retrospective insights and suggestions about what can be done
to support parents as children age. This dialogue was analyzed as part of the data analysis process.
The logistics of the interviews such as location and time were determined by geographic
feasibility, convenience, and preference of the participant. In-person interviews were preferred,
but if a participant was not able to attend an interview physically, it was conducted by means of
audio-visual Internet communication, e.g. Skype (Berger & Paul, 2011; Brondani, MacEntee, &
O’Connor, 2011; Deakin & Wakefield, 2013). Due to geographical distance and convenience, 11
participants opted to be interviewed via the virtual medium of BlueJeans, and five participants
were interviewed in the researcher’s office. In-person interviews were audio-recorded and virtual
interviews were video-recorded for later analysis.
Trustworthiness
To maintain trustworthiness, confirmability, credibility, auditability and transferability
were assured (Padgett, 2017). To assure confirmability, i.e. the fit between participants’ views and
46 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
the researcher’s interpretations, the report of findings includes direct quotes from participants’
narrative to clearly link it to the information that is shared (Padgett, 2017). To secure credibility
and minimize researcher bias, the researcher provided participants with a copy of their transcribed
interview, alongside notes and coding, for validation checks, i.e. to offer them an opportunity to
review the data and discuss any misunderstandings or clarify anything that were mis-transcribed
while offering edits or changes to be made (Creswell, 2012; Padgett, 2017). Alternatively, the
researcher also offered to review the transcription and codes together over the phone, in person or
via email, to clarify any misunderstandings or misinformation. All participants chose to engage in
this interpretative process by reviewing the codes and transcript themselves and provided feedback
to the researcher via email.
The main changes that participants offered were more deepened explanations of
information provided during the interview regarding parent-child dynamics, such as clarifying
their perspective of their spouse’s involvement in the child’s daily activities, and clarifications
about points made during the interview. Participants added information related to their present
concerns about their child’s future. Two parents stated that reviewing the transcript brought up
difficult emotions. One parent shared concerns about how coherent and clear she sounded during
the interview, and offered explanations to her initial responses during the interview.
This collaboration and co-construction of the narratives was vital to the narrative process
and allowed for member checking and minimization of researcher bias (Padgett, 2017). The
researcher fostered the trust and rapport by clearly delineating the purpose of the study to each
parent, and respectfully listening more than speaking during the interview displaying empathy,
compassion, and patience when sensitive and personal information was shared (Creswell, 2012;
Dickson-Swift, James, Kippen & Liamputtong, 2007).
47 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
Auditability is the degree to which the researcher documents the research process so that
anyone outside the study can follow along and understand the researcher’s thinking. This was
maintained by carefully documenting notes in a logical and organized manner, allowing others to
follow the steps taken throughout the study, as well as documentation of communications with
parents and categorizing procedures (Padgett, 2017). Transferability, i.e. ensuring to which parents
with similar characteristics and in similar situations and circumstance the findings could be
applicable, was maintained by accurately describing the research context and assumptions specific
to this research study (Gunawan, 2015).
Data Management and Analysis
Data were analyzed using thematic narrative analysis (TNA), a strategy of narrative
inquiry, in which the emphasis is on the content or what is being told, rather than how it is being
told (Riessman, 2005). After each interview, the researcher made notes about her general
impression and overall experience of the interview, as well as any nonverbal gestures and
communications captured in the video-recordings and those not captured in the audio-recordings.
Transcription of interviews was completed by the researcher to guarantee immersion in the data
and create an opportunity for memoing. The data were content analyzed beginning immediately
after the interview with the first participant. Each interview was completed, transcribed and
analyzed before moving on to a subsequent interview to maintain the integrity and value of each
interview and to allow further development of the interview guide to be used with the next
participant (Riessman, 2008).
The analysis was conducted in three phases. In the first phase, emerging themes related to
the research question, such as experiences of parents rearing a child diagnosed with ASD, and
retrospective perception and interpretation of the experience, were identified. The themes were
48 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
coded and tracked as the data collection process continued. The second phase occurred after the
completion of all the interviews. As per narrative inquiry, key elements in the narratives related to
parental experiences were identified and organized into each respondent’s chronological
biographical account (Creswell, 2012). The researcher revisited the themes that were identified in
the first phase and that were contained in each account, moving back and forth between phases as
needed, because this process is recursive and develops over time (Braun & Clarke, 2006;
Riessman, 2008). The final phase involved cross-case analysis of common themes woven
throughout the narratives relative to the lived experience of parenting children with ASD, and the
growth through the process via retrospective lens. After all the interviews were analyzed, the
emerging underlying themes were compared, and any shared themes were combined to create a
comprehensive understanding of the parents’ lived experiences (Reisman, 2008).
In addition to the aforementioned three phases, the memos that the researcher developed
throughout the interviews were content analyzed. This process of analytic memoing of thoughts
and insights of the researcher enriched the analytic process by fostering creativity, clarity of
thought, and helped to extract meaning from the data (Marshall & Rossman, 2006; Smith, 2000).
Feedback from participants refined the study data. Ten participants’ feedback included additional
information to what they shared in the interview, notes on what they felt was missing or items they
wanted to highlight as significant. One parent provided clarity to a code that struck the parents as
incomplete. Two parents provided more extensive notes alongside the original transcript because
they wanted to be sure that what they expressed came across in a coherent manner. The interviewer
took all comments and edits into consideration, made necessary changes and managed codes and
findings based on the feedback.
Ethical Considerations
49 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
This study was reviewed and approved by the Adelphi University Institutional Review
Board (IRB). Prior to participating in the study, participants signed an informed consent form
(Appendix C), in which they were made aware of the nature and procedures of the study, the
benefits and potential harm of their participation such as triggering emotional stress that can
develop in the midst of the interview process and ways in which the study can be a source of
benefit for the participant and other parents with children diagnosed with ASD. They were made
aware that participation is strictly voluntary and they may decline to answer any questions or/and
withdraw from participation at any time with no negative consequences (Hulley, Cummings,
Browner, Grady & Newman, 2007) and that there was no compensation for participation. Once
the consent form was reviewed and signed and questions addressed, interviews were scheduled
and started.
Because of the potential vulnerability of parents raising children diagnosed with ASD,
special attention was paid to possible worry related to disclosure of parenting styles and decisions,
or culturally sensitive issues such as cross-cultural differences in the meaning of items in
standardized forms (i.e. informed consent form) and the interview questions, the nature of the
study obligations and process (Marshall & Rossman, 2011). Because participants were discussing
sensitive matters pertaining to their lived experience that may be upsetting in nature, the researcher,
an experienced practitioner, offered to stop the interview if the need arose. While the possibility
that some of the questions could be upsetting existed, no participant requested the interview to be
stopped or to take a break. Prior to the beginning of the interviews, the researcher researched
support referrals in the participant’s state and country of residence to make them available if the
need arose. However, no participants requested such information.
50 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
To ensure confidentiality and protect participant’s privacy, names were changed to
pseudonyms (Padgett, 2017). While the participants were offered an opportunity to choose their
own pseudonyms, they declined and deferred to the researcher to choose a pseudonym. Each
participant approved the suggested pseudonym. All physical documents were kept in a locked file
box in the researcher’s home office to which only the researcher has access. Demographic and
personal identifying were stored separately from the interview transcripts. Digital audio and visual
recordings and interview transcripts were saved in a password protected file folder on the
researcher’s home computer, to which only the researcher has access. All participants were offered
an opportunity to receive a copy of the completed study. As a token of gratitude for time and
willingness to participate in the study, a partial reimbursement for travel was offered to participants
up to 25 dollars.
Study Limitations
Limitations of this study are related to the small sample size, the limited diversity among
participants (out of 16 participants, one lives in Japan and one person of Chinese descent living in
the US), the voluntary nature of participation, and potential response bias and researcher bias. As
traditional in qualitative research, the sample size was determined by saturation (Padgett, 2017).
While the small sample size, composition and sampling method limit the generalizability of the
findings, the aim of the study was to capture the in depth lived experiences of the parents of young
adult children diagnosed with ASD rather than providing data that can be generalized to a broader
population. Although efforts were made to recruit a diverse sample of parents, the sample consisted
of two parents who identify as Asian and fourteen parents who identify as Caucasian. Diversity
was also limited in terms of level of education of participants.While snowball sampling was used
to encourage recruitment of a diverse sample of participants (referring others they may know that
51 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
fit the study criteria), one of the limitations of this is that participants usually come from the same
social group and therefore often share in similar perspectives and ways of thinking (Browne &
Russell, 2003). The lack of diversity does not provide for a wider perspective of the lived
experiences of parents with children diagnosed with ASD and only highlights the experience of
mostly Cuacasion and two Asian identified parents from middle-class backgrounds (Allmark,
2004). Several parents whose identities are unknown, reached out with inquiries to learn more
about participation in the study, but did not follow up with the researcher after the information was
sent to them. One interested father from Bangladesh scheduled a virtual interview but did not show
up, and did not respond to the researcher’s follow up to reschedule. In addition, because the
interviews were conducted in English, it excluded non-English speaking individuals from
participation. The voluntary nature of participation, which generated a self-selected sample, also
limits the generalizability of the findings to parents who are similar to those who participated,
although generalizability is not the goal of qualitative research (Padgett, 2017). Finally, the
findings are further limited to parents who have access to a computer and to the internet, excluding
parents who did not have access to a computer or are not currently associated with an organization,
provider or support group, through which participants were recruited.
Utilization of self-report during the interview process may have elicited response bias from
participants, wherein participants may have responded to questions in a manner that they feel is
socially desirable rather than adhering to accuracy (Monette, Sullivan, & DeJong, 2011). To
mitigate response bias and elicit authenticity in responses, the researcher made an effort to enhance
rapport with each participant by establishing them as the expert of their story, assuring them that
they can choose not to respond to any question, asking open ended questions in a non-judgmental
manner, and assuring confidentiality. Nevertheless, response bias was still possible.
52 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
The limitation of the researcher bias is due to the difference in the life circumstances of the
researcher who does not have parental experience, let alone parental experience of a child with
ASD, and the participants who have parental experience with special circumstances. To mitigate
this potential limitation, the researcher engaged in “interviewing the investigator” prior to the first
interview (Chenail, 2011, p. 258), assuming the role of the participant in an interview conducted
by a colleague. This experience was journaled and reviewed, to inform finding helpful strategies
to support communication with the actual participants, identify and minimize possible biased
perspectives and a priori assumptions about the participants, and help gain an appreciation of
vulnerability and feelings of not being heard (Chenail, 2011). Nevertheless, researcher bias still
may be present.
Chapter 4: Findings
This chapter presents the findings of the study. Analysis of the interviews yielded three
major findings: 1) multilayered compounding stress and negative experiences of parents of
children with ASD; 2) posttraumatic growth (PTG) and other positive effects of parenting
children with ASD; and 3) the kinds of coping parents rearing children with ASD use, factors
that contribute to coping, and the ASD Family Unit, a unique outcome and approach to parenting
that derived from the way parents coped. Illustrative quotes from the interviews are used in their
narrative form without corrections for grammar, to preserve authenticity of the participants’
voices (Reissman, 2008).
Multilayered Compounding Stress and Negative Experiences of Parents of Children with
ASD
The parenthood experience of parents of children with ASD is multilayered, as they deal
with multiple, diverse and specific challenges and stressors related to parenting in general,
53 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
parenting a child with chronic illness/disability, and specifically parenting a child with ASD. This
multilayered stress is of a proliferative compounding nature, producing negative effects of
parenting children with ASD.
Stressors Related to Parenting in General
Challenges and stressors of parenting in general are mostly related to the period of
transition to parenthood, and include stressors prior to birth, difficulties with the birth process, and
difficulties with adjustment after birth. In this section and throughout, challenges and stressors are
used interchangeably.
Stressors Prior to Birth. Parents shared about stressors prior to the birth of their child
with ASD that contributed to their experience of the transition to parenthood. These included
conception as a surprise, geographical relocation, lacking a job, past miscarriage or loss of a child,
health concerns related to other family members - all while expecting the child, and parental
character features.
For example, LT, a married mother of a 25-year-old son, shared about her unexpected
pregnancy:
I had been told by two or three different doctors that I would never be able to have children. I had issues with my ovaries and whatnot… I met a man. I got pregnant, and I had wanted to have a child. I was 36 years old and I never thought at that point I would get pregnant. It was very bizarre and he was not a likely candidate for parenthood …but I decided that I wanted to keep the baby.
LT further reported about the stress of enduring a geographical relocation and lacking a job:
I was out there in California waiting to go back to school to get my Master’s in Social Work. I got accepted to a program. I was looking forward to starting that… Shortly after I decided that I realized I could not stay in California. I had a handful of friends there, but my life had been in New England and I wanted to be back where my family and friends were. I moved back to Massachusetts and I had my son in April of 1993. It was really tough because I didn’t have a job.
Two parents spoke of the previous loss of a child due to miscarriage, and the grief associated with
54 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
it as contributing to how they thought their experience might be. SB, a mother of a 23-year-old
son with ASD, who is a middle child, shared:
We lost our first baby. It was a daughter, and she was stillborn. They found that she had a knot in the cord… And again, all that grief that we had faced with our daughter a couple of years earlier, it was like, this can’t be happening.
MC, a mother of a 26-year-old son, related the concerns she had about her father’s health during
pregnancy:
My dad had massive heart attacks, and he was in congestive heart failure and kidney failure. And I got pregnant probably October, November. [Son] was born in June. My dad died at the end of April, six weeks before [son] was born. And it was clearly a very stressful time. I remember my doctor being very concerned about how I was gonna deal with the stress, and at one point it became very clear to me that there was only one place to put my energy, and that was the baby, and that my dad was gonna die. There wasn’t anything I could do about that, and, yes, I felt terrible.
Parents shared that some of their character traits possibly contributed to their experience of the
transition to parenthood. These included inflexibility, dominance, being judgmental and critical,
and having a ‘victim mentality.’ MO, a mother of 22-year-old daughter, reported that her ‘victim
mentality,’ and her inflexibility and judgmental attitude towards others had contributed to her
parenthood experience, especially when circumstances did not go the way she wanted or hoped
for:
I was more the person … victim person. I was always thinking that life is not fair and thinking that – or getting angry or upset every time I couldn’t get things or couldn’t have people thinking the same way that I was thinking. I mean, for me what’s very difficult to deal with people who think different than me… [and that’s why] I didn’t accept her [daughter with ASD] because I wanted her different. And I said, “I love her,” but at the time, it was not her. I was loving an ideal, something that was not her.
EW, a father of a 19-year old son with ASD, shared about his wife’s personality ‘issues’ that made
his life and parenthood experience unbearable:
I would say that [wife] not on the scale of normal. Let’s put it that way. She’s a very, very, very high-strung person […] judgmental, and so critical, and so harsh with me that it is very, very debilitating… I’m never shy to say that if I would’ve done to her what she did
55 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
to me, I would be in jail for abuse ... So, when I was able to take [son with ASD] and just deal with him by myself, things were actually a lot better for me, and I think for him too. Difficulties with the Birth Process. Eight parents shared their difficulties during the birth
process, such as the baby being breech, enduring a long labor, or having an emergency C-section
with a long recovery time. TS, a married mother of an 18-year-old daughter with ASD, now in
college, shared, “It was a very difficult delivery. She was nine pounds, 14 ounces. I couldn’t get
her out; it was an emergency C-section. They thought it was going to be a hysterectomy.” BK, a
mother of a 20-year-old son with ASD, reported that her son was in breech during labor and later
was in NICU:
They tried to turn him around and, um, it was my first, you know, child and so it was very tight, so they couldn’t do it. And it felt like a séance to me anyway… He came out though, um, and they put him in the NICU because… skin color [anoxia]… they thought that something wasn’t right, so they had an observation overnight.
Difficulties during birth were also reported by EW, a father of a 19-year-old son, who shared
regarding his wife’s birth process:
It was her first child. He was C-section. And one of the things that I will say, it was a very difficult birth. She was in labor for three days, and she was already late. She was, I think, a week or two weeks late already from the expected due date. And then they decided to do a C-section. I think many things that happened, if we would’ve known what we know today, wouldn’t have happened that way.
Difficulties with Adjustment after Birth. Parents reported a wide and diverse array of
post-birth challenges, including lacking parenting skills and the need to learn to parent, navigating
own and spouse’s reaction to the child, managing the relationship with the spouse, managing own
life stage, such as being an older parent, spouse’s abandonment after the birth of the child,
managing simultaneously own and the baby’s health, balancing career and parental role, pressure
to provide for the family financially while balancing new parent role. GB, a mother of an 18-year-
old daughter with ASD, shared her memories of a strain developed in her marriage when her child
was still very young:
56 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
I remember my ex-husband was just like, ‘When are you going to pay attention to me? You’ve had this baby. You’re having a birthday party for our four-year-old. Your sister’s here. When are you going to pay attention to me?’ That was difficult.
SB, a mother of a 23-old son with ASD, shared about difficulties with keeping her career going
after her child was born:
When [son] was born, he had a lot of medical issues, and so I ended up quitting work. Couldn’t do well at both my jobs, so I had actually been off work for about 20 years when I recently accepted a job with the local school district here. I was a teacher.
Stressors Related to Parenting a Child with Chronic Illness and/or Disability
Parents reported that, in addition to the stresses experienced by parents in general, they are
facing extra challenges and stressors that are related to rearing a child with chronic illnesses or
disabilities. These include stressors of chronic caregiver role, changing life priorities, life roles,
and family relationships, child’s multiple medical, especially neurological, challenges, lack of
social support and isolation, and compounding nature of stressors.
Chronic Caregiver Role. Parents reported that taking care of their chronically ill child
became a highly demanding and on-going, 24hr/7 days a week, job. E.g., WB, a father of a
daughter with ASD, shared about high stress and anxiety due to attaining highly demanding full-
time caregiver’s role:
Well, definitely added a lot of anxiety. I don’t know. I guess she definitely made me focus more outwardly. …. But just more focusing on caring for other people and looking at their needs rather than being more self-centered. I know, when I was younger, I definitely was more self-centered than I am now. And that’s gonna be natural with being married, having kids in general. But I think it really comes into focus when you’re caring for somebody in a lot of ways. Patience is a big one, actually. I’ve always been a very impatient person. And I’ve had to learn a lot of patience with dealing with her.
SB, a mother of a 23-year-old son with ASD, shared:
But that [condition] was really kind of a confirmation that I wasn’t going back to work for quite some time, because I knew that, not only medically, he was at appointments all the time, but now I knew I had a huge challenge in terms of getting him through school…
57 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
EW, a father of a 19-year old son with ASD, recalled: “I’m, in retrospect, fortunately retired
because taking care of our son has pretty much become a full-time job… because if there’s very
little services for young people with disability…”
Changing Life Priorities, Life Roles, and Family Relationships. Parents reported
changing life priorities and restrictions placed on life roles in addition to chronic caregiving. This
included decisions regarding participation in the workforce, re-prioritizing life roles and
relationships, especially with typical children in the family, and changing parenting roles, role
reversal, and preparedness for role obligations.
Self-imposed restrictions in participation in the workforce because of the need to dedicate
all time to their child’s care contributed to increased distress of some parents. GP, a mother of a
24-year-old son with ASD, shared about her decision to become a stay-at-home parent:
When he was first born, I took the maternity leave and then got a nanny and went back. Got a promotion and all this other stuff. But … when we got the diagnosis, I just sort of felt like, there is never going to be another company or situation that’s going to need me more than he does…
EW, a divorced father of 19-year old son with ASD who is closely involved in his son’s life,
described putting on hold his personal life because of chronic care for his son with ASD:
And now, I don’t really even date or anything like that because it’s just a waste of time. I know what’s gonna happen, and I have to devote pretty much as much as I can to [son with ASD]. And yeah, not easy at times, but I’ve very, very clear that it’s my priority. … I had a very good relationship, but ultimately, she said she can’t take it anymore because it’s – to put it kindly – she realized that she was never gonna be No. 1, and she kind of said, “I can’t do this anymore unless you’re prepared to give me more time.” And I said, “At this time, this point in life, I can’t.”
AF, a mother of a 24-year-old son with ASD, who now contributes greatly to the special needs
community, described the experience of her making choices of prioritizing the chronic care for her
child with disability over the care for her injured spouse, and that their marriage suffered because
58 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
of this: “You have to do what you have to do. The neediest person kinda … you know… [gets
care, and] there’s a child that needs care. …Our family split…”
Some parents reported a negative impact on the relationship with other typical children in
the family. The same mother, AF, shared:
So then when my husband got hurt, now her [the typical daughter’s] father was taking my attention, and her brother [with ASD]…. She doesn’t really like me. But she… she was the least needy. …My daughter hasn’t spoken to me in 8 years… [since] her second year of college … who is she gonna be mad at? She can’t take it out on her paralyzed father… she’s done taking it out on her autistic brother…[so she has to take it on me].
Another mother of a 23-year-old son with ASD, SB, reported regrets of not spending time,
“ignoring,” her other children:
So, high school was a huge challenge for me and him as we really spent hours and hours and hours trying to get him through school. And in that regard, I have some regrets, because I think I ignored my other kids to some extent while I had to get [son with ASD] through... But it’s been hard for them. The squeaky wheel, you know. I’ve been told from both of them that I’m not even sure how they would have put it, but that [son with ASD], not is my favorite, but I mean I spent more time with [son with ASD], so the other two probably didn’t get as much of me as they should have. Child’s Multiple Medical Especially Neurological Challenges. Children’s
developmental and medical issues during early childhood negatively impacted the parenting
experience. These included developmental delays, gastro-intestinal issues, clubfoot and other
medical issues, such as sleep apnea. BK, a mother of a 20-year-old son with ASD, reported dealing
with some of her son’s medical issues:
When he was in preschool, we put the kids in like a soccer camp at the Y or the JCC and [son] was just having a rough time with his, you know, with his feet. We went to the hospital and they said, “Oh, you have this like really horrible syndrome. He’s never going to walk again. He needs a, like, a walker.” So, we’re like all terrified and then we brought him back for a follow-up, they’re all, “Oh, he’s going to be fine.” We’re all, “Oh, God.” You know?
59 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
Some parents described their stress heightened because they feared neurological disabilities, which
implied problems with cognitive or/and emotional development. SB, a mother of 23-year-old son
with ASD, shared:
And especially, even in my early research on these different potential disabilities, we were always pleased to find out that most of them were just simply physical and weren’t related to any neurological issues, which was our biggest concern.
Stressors Related to Parenting a Child with ASD
In addition to the stressors of rearing a child with any chronic condition or disability,
parents of children with ASD report a unique set of challenges and stressors related to parenting a
child with ASD. These include pre-ASD diagnosis and diagnostic process related stressors, ASD
symptoms as stressors, ASD comorbidities as stressors, parent’s own ASD as a stressor, and post-
ASD diagnosis related stressors.
Pre-ASD Diagnosis and Diagnostic Process Related Stressors. Parents shared numerous
factors related to the time before the diagnosis of ASD that impacted their parenthood such as
perception that something is wrong, lengthy process of diagnosis, and lacking clarity about the
diagnosis and its implications.
Perception that Something is Wrong. Parents reported that they had an intuition that
something was “not right” and were concerned that their child will have neurological challenges.
AF, a director of a school for children with ASD and a mother of a 24-year-old son with ASD and
a typically functioning daughter, shared her intuition despite a professional’s feedback, “… but
my mother’s gut said there’s something not right with my baby.” GB, a mother of an 18-year old
daughter, from North Carolina, shared her experience of having her intuitions validated by the
doctor:
I went back to our doctor, and he admitted that he had flagged her chart because she wasn’t sitting up by herself. We started poking around, investigating things. He thought it was
60 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
maybe a hip problem, so we did an X-Ray. Then, I remember one day, I called him and I said, “Dr., I don’t think it’s a hip issue. I think it’s neurological.” He said, “Yes, I’m starting to think it’s neurological, too.” She wasn’t sitting up at six months or doing much of anything. She was listing to the side in her highchair and also in her stroller. I really started to worry. We had a neurologist check her out. I think everyone was afraid to say the word autism. Lengthy Process of Diagnosis. Nine parents reported that the process of receiving the
diagnosis was lengthy, and the long process was the ‘hardest time.’ More than half of these parents
reported that they were actually relieved once they received the diagnosis, because the long process
was over, their suspicions were finally confirmed, they had something concrete to identify with,
and they had a direction. AF, a divorced mother of a 24-year-old son, shared her perspective on
finally receiving the ASD diagnosis:
We knew what it was…I always kept saying why… what is it. So, it [the diagnosis] gives you peace of mind, a starting point. It gave me a rock, the foundation from dealing with… I am gonna research and look in the box, out of the box… there are so many families that are so afraid to use the term in paperwork and I tell them, it is your passport if you move about “the country” …with this term, you get services, you get to help when you get the label. Lacking Clarity about the Diagnosis and Its Implications. Parents described the lack of
clarity that led to confusion that they experienced during the time they were seeking answers about
their child’s challenges, needs and care. More than half of parents described the lack of clarity
about the diagnosis itself, specifically whether the issues were related to more medical or mental
health challenges. SB, a mother of a 23-year-old son with ASD, shared the difficulty obtaining a
clear diagnosis due to other challenges her child had: “Even though I suspected he was on the
spectrum, nobody would confirm that, just because of his medical issues that delayed his
development.” Another parent, DE, a father of a 23-year-old son with ASD, shared: “We started
engaging therapists, psychologists, anybody who we thought would help understand. And it
61 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
became a very heartbreaking, desperate process, because he didn’t have a profile that fit any one
specific diagnosis very well and nothing seemed to help.”
Parents reported frustrations because of professionals lacking appropriate knowledge about
ASD diagnosis and them having varying opinions and assumptions about the nature of their child’s
challenges. For example, parents were given feedback about their child’s challenges based on their
child’s gender. Parents of boys were often told that the behaviors were typical of a boy’s behavior.
AF, mother of a 24-year-old son with ASD, shared, “He didn’t speak. He didn’t walk on time,
everything was delayed. And I went to the pediatrician and they kept telling me I had a boy, and I
had a girl, [so] don’t compare them, they’re slower…” At the same time, parents of girls shared
that signs of ASD were overlooked by professionals (because there are more boys who are
diagnosed with ASD), and that having a female child with ASD poses another level of difficulty
in finding clarity about the diagnosis. TS, a mother of an 18-year-old daughter with Asperger’s
stated:
It wasn’t a lot published about girls and just how that diagnosis manifests itself. A lot I read was like the rigidity or people obsessed with trains or locomotion. [Daughter with ASD] never was like that…We were grappling, too, with really finding information around Asperger’s for girls and how that developed or how that would inform our work. Trying to find a neuropsychologist who actually knew diagnostically how to work with her.
Other parents lacked clarity about where their child fit within the spectrum of “disability” and
ASD, leading to challenges in finding placements for care and schooling. GP, mother of a 24-year-
old son with Asperger’s, shared her experience finding an appropriate educational setting for her
son:
So, I called to find out about what they offered and my whole experience with school systems are really – I’m pretty jaded. They said to me, “Well, we do have a sort of preschool program, but it’s only for kids who have more severe disabilities and you said that your kid is mild on the autism spectrum.” I said, “Yeah, but it’s kind of like having a mild heart attack. You don’t need emergency care, but you still kind of need the stuff that you deal with.”
62 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
ASD Symptoms as Stressors. Parents reported that their child’s ASD symptoms became
the stressors specifically, their child’s challenging behaviors and character traits, as well as their
child’s social skills deficits.
Parents shared that school avoidance, suicidal ideation, aggression, regression of
developmental gains were the hardest to manage, especially as they grew to be more severe, and
therefore, traumatic. EW, a father who cares full time for his 19-year-old son with ASD, shared
the experience of his son’s aggressive behaviors:
...They [inappropriate behaviors] would turn aggressive. Now, [son with ASD] is the sweetest, sweetest guy in the world. He’s incredibly artistic, and he’s amazing. But, well, he always had meltdowns. But the meltdowns turned into sort of a form of aggression. He went from little baby to adolescence, if you know what I mean.
DE, a married father of a 23-year-old son with ASD, shared his experience of his son’s violence:
The most important or the most challenging thing was the difficulty of dealing with a very explosive child who was willing to be violent if he was that agitated. Because you can do all the – you can acquire all the skills for dealing with your sons. It doesn’t matter. You can acquire everything. But it’s extremely difficult, especially in the heat of the moment, as a parent. It’s extremely difficult to deal with a kid who is oppositional and willing to be violent to get his way.
Some parents also identified some of their child’s ASD-related character traits, such as rigidity,
neediness and desire to please as contributing to parental stress. TS, a mother of an 18-year-old
daughter with ASD, shared how her daughter’s rigidity was misunderstood by the school staff:
The problem with the school, especially in middle school, they saw her as obstinate and it was really more her rigidity and she was very, very much wanted to please. She was just misreading all the non-verbals. She might correct a teacher and then the teacher would think she’s being obnoxious.
Most parents expressed their frustration with their child’s lack of social skills and communication
in and outside the family circles. MC, a married mother of a 26-year-old son with ASD,
remembered:
63 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
He didn’t sleep through the night for a couple of years... And I didn’t do the fiberizing thing because …there’s something wrong with this kid. I don’t know what it is, but this kid doesn’t soothe himself. And I also felt he wasn’t communicating the right way, and we had a tenuous connection to him. The connection he and I had always had was touch, and as much as I couldn’t stand him sleeping with us, what I couldn’t stand more was losing that connection of touch.
DE, a father of a 23-year-old son with ASD, reported:
When our son hit preschool, we noticed that he was not very social, didn’t react to things the same way everybody else does, sometimes was hiding in the classroom. We engaged a behavioral therapist and I remember, in a nutshell, what she said was, “It’s not you. It’s him.” ASD Diagnosis Comorbidities as Stressors. Parents reported that ASD comorbidities,
other medical and mental health conditions that their children were suffering from, became
additional stressors in parents’ life. These conditions included various gastro-intestinal issues,
sleep challenges, neurodevelopmental disorders like ADHD, and mental health conditions like
OCD, depression, anxiety, and panic attacks. MO, a mother of a 22-year-old daughter from Japan
stated:
She couldn’t sleep at that moment. She slept maybe each two days or three days. So, it was escalating, escalating, escalating. So, also, when she went to the high school, it was the same. The teachers were more soft, so in some way (she) relax in some way, but panics were most every day. Cryings were every day. So, when she was 18 years old, one month before she graduated from high school, it was like chaos in my house because we couldn’t sleep at night.
More than half of the participants shared that their child was given multiple diagnoses in addition
to ASD, especially because of the mixture of various behavioral and emotional challenges. This
created significant parental stress. WB, a father of a 21-year-old daughter with ASD, shared:
I just feel like – and this really speaks more to the anxiety than the Autism, but one of the big frustrating things that we’ve had is that if our daughter had cancer or a heart condition, there’s prescribed procedures and solutions. And you go to a specialist, and they can help you solve that problem. But when it comes to dealing with anxiety, depression, especially in people on the spectrum, there’s no roadmap.
64 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
WB, a father of a 21-years-old daughter with ASD, shared about difficulties with managing
anxiety in his child with ASD, especially during life transitions:
So, it felt pretty textbook growing up. Just starting showing the symptoms of autism when she was in kindergarten, first grade. And we got the diagnosis which helped us understand things. And then for several years, we did a few interventions and kinda had things back on track I’ll say in terms of development. And then when she hit puberty, things really went off the rails. I’m probably getting ahead of you, but anxiety and school avoidance came into play. And really struggled to get her through middle school, high school. She’s now actually successfully attending college. But anxiety remains a major concern. So, in a lot of ways, I feel like we didn’t really feel significantly impacted by autism as a family until she hit puberty. It was very manageable up until then. And then after that, it’s become a lot more challenging.
LT, mother of a 25-year-old son with ASD, who is living in Massachusetts and runs a mentoring
program in school, shared her experiences dealing with her child’s OCD, in addition to ASD
symptoms:
I was becoming very concerned and went in to the doctor and they reviewed his milestones and everything and said, ‘We don’t know what’s going on. We think you should take him to a child psychiatrist’. At that point, that was the first fork in the road that took me down a really bad path with him because he did not need a psychiatrist. He needed somebody who knew about developmental issues, but I didn’t know that. I’d never had any other kids and I was like, maybe I’m doing something wrong. I think I’m doing the right things with him and he’s just getting more and more disturbed and distraught and upset. I just didn’t understand it. I did not understand what was going on at all, so I went and saw the child psychiatrist and his conclusion was that maybe he had some OCD thing going on. Parent’s Own ASD as a Stressor. Two parents identified as being on the ASD spectrum
and two parents shared that their spouse was on the ASD spectrum. DE, a father of a 23-year-old
(eldest) son with ASD, self-described as having Asperger’s traits, and shared how his difficulty
with social interactions and social cues has impacted his self-perception as a parent and his ability
to support his spouse:
I found though that, when our first son was born, immediately I felt everything I was good at was irrelevant. Everything I was no good at was critical. So, it was definitely a very difficult adjustment, especially for me… [My wife] also reacted to what she perceived as my Asperger-y traits. And that didn’t help things either.
65 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
MC, a married mother of a 26-year-old son with ASD, reported about her spouse:
He just struggles to be social. So, his friends are my friends. He hasn’t kept in touch with any friends. His friends are people within his family. He’s very close to the family. I used to think he was quiet merely because he comes from this giant Sicilian family, and nobody can get a word in edgewise. He’s just quiet until he’s socially comfortable, and then he has a wicked sense of humor. But he's also very inflexible. Like, if I move things in the kitchen cabinets around, he doesn’t get mad, but he’ll freak out and rearrange them back. He hates going to parties with me, so I go solo. I’ve just learned to do that over the years. It’s easier than dealing with him. He procrastinates. He has the executive functioning skills of a gnat. For example, having him go grocery shopping and plan meals and make meals is interesting. Trying to get everything in a meal to happen at the same time doesn’t work. Casseroles are great if they have very clear-cut directions. We have this little marital joke which is [husband] can do concrete deliverables. And so that comes from kind of my program management background. I need to give it concrete deliverables, don’t I? He’s like, yes. So, as long as I break it down in concrete deliverables, like, okay, when you cook a pot roast, the hard vegetables take longer to cook. Put them in first. …he can still make me insane. Post-ASD Diagnosis Related Stressors. Parents reported that after receiving the diagnosis
of ASD for their child, they had additional stressors to deal with, related to unfulfilled expectations
and hopes, being responsible for all medical decisions, lack of social support or professional
support.
Unfulfilled Expectations and Hopes. Thirteen parents acknowledged that the reality and
experience of parenting differed from what they originally anticipated. Parents discussed
unfulfilled expectations and hopes related to parenthood and family experience, as well as related
to their child and ambiguous loss.
Parents reported unfulfilled expectations of “normal” parenthood and family experiences,
which included engaging in normative parenting activities such as attending athletic games with
their child, socializing with other parents, and experiencing their child achieving developmental
milestones. Some parents shared that they anticipated the experience of parenthood to fulfill a
dream they had about having a tight knit family of their own, while in reality, the family was not
66 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
close because of their child with ASD. DE, a father of a 23-year-old son with ASD, shared:
Our hopes were simply to have a normal child and have normal parenting experiences. And being as old as we were, we didn’t have a lot of stars in our eyes about it being an unalloyed joy. We had some idea just from living life as to what might be involved. And we really – I suppose we probably had the same primal, evolutionary drives that every parent does as to why they want to have a child. But we were looking forward to the entire experience basically as coming to a more intimate understanding of the human condition.
Others reported that they had a “romanticized idea” that having a child would be easy-going, when
in fact the parenthood experience resulted in the parent doing things they did not think they would
have to do, such as advocating for their child and being active in meeting their child’s unique
needs. LT, a mother of a 25-year-old son with ASD who manages a mentoring program shared:
I had kind of a romanticized idea of what it would be like to have a baby. You know that ended pretty quickly… I’ve had to be such an advocate for him in a lot of ways that I could have never have done for myself; I’m really very introverted and very…I’m not a pushy, aggressive person in my own world. When it comes to him I really had to develop that part of myself. I never would have otherwise because it’s always for me just been easier just to sit back and let things happen you know.
A few parents shared their unfulfilled wishes to engage simultaneously in their career and the joys
of parenthood. LT, the mother of a 21-year-old daughter with ASD who is in college shared her
expectations of how she would function as a working parent:
I didn’t think it was going to be nearly as all-encompassing as it was. I thought I would continue to work and have a nanny, and that I would come home from work as the career woman. And I would spend a little time, read them a book, be a loving mother and then put them to bed, get up the next day, and do it all over again. That the nanny would do all the work, and then I would have the nice last hour. That’s really what I thought.
The unfulfilled expectations of the typical parenthood experience were expressed by half of the
participants as feeling jealous of other parents who had typical children. SB, a mother of a 23-
year-old son with ASD, compared her experience of being a parent with what she perceived as
much easier experience of other parents:
One of the things that’s been really hard for me in terms of looking at parenting is seeing other families or other people who haven’t had the challenges, at least that I know of, and
67 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
they just think everything works out fine, their kids all turned out great, they’re all college-educated, good careers, and I kind of have some struggles with that, with some jealousy, …it so easy for other people…
Parents also shared that one of the biggest challenges, which generated a lot of grief and anxiety,
was the unfulfilled expectation of their parenthood experience in terms of the family’s interactions.
LT, a mother of a 21-year-old son and 19-year-old daughter with ASD, recalled:
I ask myself would I even change it, if I could, and put them not on the spectrum. I think I would just because their lives would be so much easier. It’s just easier to be neurotypical than not be neuroatypical, so I think for their sake I would change it. And for my own sake in terms of anxiety… For their own sakes, I wouldn’t have wished this. It makes life inconvenient.
SB, a mother of 23-year old son with ASD, shared about unfulfilled expectations of relationship
between the siblings:
… having lost our first child, we kind of figured we had borne the brunt of any challenges with childbirth and rearing…So, my hopes and dreams for him were very similar to what my older son, who was very precocious, learned quickly, just a joy. We had the same dreams and that they would be buddies and friends and close enough in age to hang out together and stuff. Parents reported different expectations of their child, as well as feeling the loss of the child,
although their child was physically present. This ambiguous loss (O’Brien, 2007) encompassed
loss of hopes, image, and relationship with their child that will not happen. Parents understood that
resolution of ASD was not possible and that the outcomes were unpredictable or plain bad, as their
child will never be independent and will probably not have family or get married. AF, a mother of
24-year-old son shared after her son was diagnosed with ASD:
And we got in the car, and I just started hysterically crying thinking he’s retarded, because there was no word…it wasn’t like today. And I thought of Rain Man (laughs), I thought, he’s never gonna have a job, I thought he’s gonna have such a hard life. I thought is he gonna wind up living with me? And we went home and I…I know…we went home and we went into the living room and we fell asleep on the couch and when our older daughter had come home…they were at their grandparents babysitting when we went to get the results…she said, did somebody die? Because you guys don’t look good and you are
68 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
sleeping in the middle of the day. Very perceptive little girl… because somebody did die. The hope and the promise of my baby.
GP, a mother of a 24-years-old son with ASD, also shared the experience of broken expectations
of the child’s bright future:
Because he was so far advanced early on, it raises a parent’s hopes about, “My child is gonna be so brilliant. Maybe he’ll go to Harvard, be a CEO of a company or something like that.” And then you get the, “What do you mean he has special needs?”
The same mother, shared her stress of imagining the grave future for her son:
I don’t remember how I got that statistic but I remember he was crying – I think he was summer camp, after kindergarten or something like that but he was supposed to get a summer program so they were in a town camp and I remember reading some statistic about how a lot of them commit suicide and I’m like my kid is in kindergarten and I have to worry about suicide. So, I’m crying over that. So those were kind of difficult times.
Some parents reported not being able to let go of their rigid fixed expectations of who their child
will be and of their child’s abilities to navigate the world’s challenges. They shared their wishes
for their child to be healthy, neurotypical, extroverted and “normal.” LT, a mother of two children
on the ASD spectrum, reported, “I expected extra extroverted children because I’m such an
extrovert. My husband’s an introvert, but I thought, ‘Seriously? My personality is a way stronger
personality than his.’ So, I definitely thought I was gonna get extroverts.” SB, a mother from
Michigan of a 22-year-old son with ASD, shared:
My expectations were really high. And the most challenging part was probably to have to lower those expectations at different points …, and kind of come to the acceptance that there were going to be some limits to where he would go ….
Parents also reported that they had to manage their hopes and expectations regarding their child’s
academic delays and the unmet expectations they had for their child’s academic success. SB, a
mother of a 23-year-old son with ASD and a school administrator, shared:
School was super challenging, because I was a good student and I loved school, and it was just – I had a lot of communication with his teachers, and just not really knowing what his potential was in school, because the spectrum – some of the kids are really super bright.
69 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
Not really knowing how hard to push him and how much to expect from him. Being Responsible for All Medical Decisions. Parents of children with ASD reported a
great burden of being responsible for medical decisions related to management of ASD, on top of
the chronic caregiver role, mostly because of conflicting messages and recommendations they
constantly received from professionals that caused non-trusting relationships with them. Parents
felt being put in a position of medical doctors or managers, which was a great responsibility and a
great stressor. WB, a father of a 21-year-old daughter with ASD, shared:
...And you go to different types of doctors and talk to them, and nobody sees the whole purpose. You go to one doctor, and you get a prescription for some antidepressants. And you go to someone else and get some general counseling. You go to someone else and get some Autism counseling. The burden falls on the parents to become the general practitioner, the coordinator of care. And over time, we learned that job and became more proficient at it. But we weren’t prepared for it or trained to really care for the complexity of all the different interrelated mental illness issues that come up. Lack of Social Support. Parents reported lack of social support from family members,
society and peers as significant stressor in their life, after the diagnosis was established. Eight
parents shared experiencing criticism, judgment, unhelpful guidance and sometimes bullying even
from people of their close circles like their spouse and family members. Most participants reported
that the fathers or/and other family members were not accepting the diagnosis of ASD or having a
poor reaction to it. Most mothers shared that their husbands had difficulty accepting the diagnosis;
some fathers were supportive in spite of the difficulty, while others were not. AF, a mother of a
24-year-old son with ASD, shared that her husband would say:
… why do we always have to talk about [son with ASD]? …he’s gonna outgrow it……he’s just gonna outgrow it. Get him a tutor…he will outgrow it...I think [it is] what it is for all men. It was his ego. It was not a partnership in parenting.
The same mother also facilitates support groups with fathers of children with ASD and shared
her observations:
70 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
How about hearing a father say,… ‘I don’t make autistic babies.’ These men cannot accept their babies. They’re [the babies] defective. They can’t. Now, last year, at my parent workshop, I had one father. This year, I had three. That’s huge. And when they come, I make a big deal. And so do the mothers.
Six parents shared that other family members had a poor reaction to the child’s diagnosis, as they
did not accept the diagnosis, while others demonstrated a misunderstanding of the child and/or the
challenges involved with rearing the child with ASD. WB, an IT professional from New
Hampshire and father of a 21-year-old daughter with ASD, shared:
It took both of our families a while to come to grips with and accept what she was. And I don’t think either of our families understand just how challenging it can be …when we’re out in public and stuff, [daughter with ASD] holds it together very well. Her meltdowns are more commonly at home. So, a lot of people don’t see that and probably don’t realize the level of anxiety…
Parents reported experiencing lack of social support from the larger society because of judgments
of unacceptable child’s behaviors. They also experienced judgements even if the child did not
show any inappropriate behaviors but was identified as having special needs and was casted out
of activities with other kids. AF, mother of a 24-year-old son with ASD, reported this incident:
He was in kindergarten. I held him back so he would repeat it. He went into kindergarten with a para, 1:1 aide. School bell rings, all mommies line up in hall and you get your kid. I’m standing there, I don’t know who’s behind me, I hear two women. I don’t know them, until I hear them say the teacher’s name, and make sure you don’t make a play date with the new kid, [son with ASD], he has a para, there must be something wrong with him. That killed me. That killed me. Killed me!
Parents also described lacking support even from other parents of children with similar challenges
or on the spectrum. SB, a mother of 22-year-old son with ASD, shared:
My biggest challenge at that time was really no one understood what I was going through. And I think it was shortly after age 10 that [son] started getting involved in Special Olympics, and I thought that for me that would be a great thing too, because there would be other parents there, carting their kids there, and other parents who were facing similar situations. And I didn’t find that to be true. A lot of the people I met – most everyone I met through the parents of kids that he participated with, they were not like me. They were not necessarily educated. Some had disabilities of their own. And so, it was really a challenge to not feel alone, like I was just blazing this trail by myself. I don’t even know at what
71 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
point it was, but I did, finally I was able to connect with a few parents who were similar and had similar challenges, which was huge, just in – just even having someone to listen who understands. Lack of Professional Support. Parents reported that after receiving ASD diagnosis for their
child and all the way through their family’s journey, they experienced lack of professional support
from the medical, educational and social work community, as well as negative predictions from
various professionals about their child’s and their family’s future.
Parents experienced lack of professional support from the medical community in terms of
lack or inadequacy of psychoeducation, lack of support in decisions to medicate the child with
ASD, and lack of knowledge about effective interventions for children with ASD.
Parents shared that they experienced lack or inadequacy of psychoeducation in the medical
professionals in relation to the diagnosis, its challenges and magnitude, as well as implications for
the child’s and family’s future, and treatment options. This left many parents feeling shamed,
abandoned and betrayed. MO, mother of a 22-year-old daughter shared, “I remember when doctor
told me, ‘Because your child is not only autistic, she’s retarded.’ Those messages, as a parent, were
very painful.” BK, a mother of a 20-year-old son with ASD, spoke about the psychiatrist they
consulted who inferred that it was something she was doing that caused her child’s challenges. She
also shared, “The first psychiatrist we had was horrible. He told me I should quit my job and spend
more time with my son.”
LT, a mother to a 21-year-old son with ASD and currently a social life coach to adults with
ASD, shared difficulties in obtaining the needed information about caring for and parenting a child
with ASD:
Not that many people knew this stuff. This would have been 1999, 2000. This was very early on, and so there weren’t even as many programs as there are now. And Michelle Garcia Winner’s Social Thinking [a curriculum in the treatment of individuals with social
72 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
learning challenges], it took me a couple of years to find her... There was just a lot less information...
EW, a father of 19 year old son with ASD, shared being stressed and feeling angry towards the
psychiatrist who was not providing any education to parents, and who was interested only in
charging parents his enormous fees, while prescribing the medications that did not work and even
made the behaviors worse:
At one point, we did go to see a psychiatrist, a private psychiatrist. This was [wife’s] doing. Thousands of dollars. I knew pretty much from the beginning that this guy is full of s--- – excuse my language – because I actually f----g hate him, and he had the audacity to charge thousands of dollars. And [son with ASD] was actually worse. Parents reported pressure from some doctors to include medication in the treatment
regimen for their child to help with more immediate symptoms, like aggressive or impulsive
behaviors, OCD, anxiety, and depression, but they felt that giving their child medication at a young
age might be harmful, looking longterm, and some recalled that it was a “tough decision” to make
on their own. There was no unanimous opinion participants had about the medications and the
short- and long- term side effects. Some of the parents said that the medication had a negative
impact on the child's behaviors, while others reported that the decision was a “last resort,” and the
right medication was supportive and transformative for their child. AF, a mother of a 24-year-old
son and currently a director of a school for children with ASD, shared:
I had to take him to a psychiatrist because he had horrible OCD and anxiety and his team …all said, think about medicine. I was devastated. That was the time when young adults and adults were starting to take SSRI’s [selective serotonin uptake inhibitors are antidepressant drugs that inhibit the reabsorption of serotonin by neurons, increasing the availability of serotonin]. They weren’t like they are today. You only heard about Prozac or Zoloft back then if you were severely depressed. His OCD – it was so apparent. They were explaining to me that it was manifesting from anxiety and that, as his mother, don’t I want to make his life easier, and by giving him the medicine, it would make his life easier. I came home, I was hysterically crying. I see it now, sitting on the steps... I had my head in my hands. He’s just a baby, how do you give a baby this medicine? He was 9 but he was the stature of a 6-year-old, so I never acquainted him to 9. He didn’t look 9 or perform like 9…. He was 6. And we played the medicine games, and … what a difference. In his anxiety,
73 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
his OCD. It was the hardest, one of the hardest things I had to do. It would have been different if he was a teenager, but he wasn’t even in the double digits of his childhood. He was under 10. So, the hardest part was the medicine, because he was 9.
Some of the parents shared that the medication exacerbated their concerns or they went against
professionals’ suggestions to medicate their child, and this was an additional stressor for parents.
LT, mother of a 25-year-old son with ASD, shared going against the advice of a psychiatrist they
saw because of her son’s OCD symptoms, “He said he was hyperactive and he prescribed Ritalin
for him. I said no. I don’t think that’s what’s going on here. I don’t want my three-year-old child
to start taking Ritalin…We never did the Ritalin.”
Most parents felt that medical professionals did not understand their children, and were
dissatisfied with the interventions (e.g. Applied Behavioral Analysis and speech services) used
with their children; and this represented another layer of stressors. EW, a father of 19-year-old son
with ASD, shared:
… But I think ABA is, in our case, not effective. I would even – biting my tongue because I was gonna use harsher words.…if you read the history of ABA, and of course, that is the only thing that’s recognized in America by the healthcare, which is also another travesty, needless to say. Parents experienced lack of professional support from the educational community and the
school system in general, as they felt that the system did not provide knowledge to kids with ASD,
while becoming a “babysitting” service, which resorted to regular use of restraints instead of
finding the ways to manage kifd’ behaviors differently. EW, a divorced father of a 19-year-old son
with ASD, shared:
So, having him go to school was really just babysitting for us. But as the years went on, it actually became more of an issue because we would get a call 20 minutes after he got on the bus that the bus had to stop, and the bus aid would call the police, and we would have to come and pick up [son with ASD] off the bus. And then if he got to school, you were just holding your breath that he wouldn’t be put in what they call the Blue Room, which is the room where it’s covered in mats, and he’s restrained. And this would be every week. And so, in 2016, after the winter break, he went back, but we just said, “Enough. We can’t
74 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
do this anymore. It’s just insanity.” Every week, it was so impossible because all they would do is restrain him and traumatize him more, and then they threatened us that if this keeps on, they’re going to have to take him in an ambulance to a mental facility. And so, we just said, “Before that happens, we’re just gonna take him out of school…”
DE, a father of a 23-year-old son with ASD, from Massachusetts, who self-describes as living with
Asperger’s himself, discussed his family’s stress related to the school professionals being not
equipped to deal with children with ASD, although there was a formal IEP process in place:
As he went into elementary school, we were basically trying every avenue we could find. He immediately got an IEP, special education in school. Unfortunately, the teachers and staff couldn’t understand him either. The school staff tended to be undertrained, under-supervised. I think that group of people has the lowest level of integrity and the lowest ability to be professional… But [son] flamed out of every therapeutic special education program. It kind of reached a head when he was in fourth, fifth grade. He was acting out. He was terrified. He had a lot of fear. And he started acting out. He was also being violent at home, which we were dealing with, and we started to be afraid for the safety of his younger brother, who was four years younger. But what really brought it to a head was that the school physically abused him by overuse of restraint. And so, we dealt with it every way we could until finally we saw the abuse was not going to stop, basically because the school staff lacked the training and professionalism and integrity to deal with him any other way, in spite of all the requirements of the IEP, which they never really had any intention of complying with. Or, if they did, they had no ability to comply. So finally, we had to hire a lawyer. And it was very clear by that time, I think, to the school that, if we were to file suit, they would lose. And so, it really only took a conversation between our lawyer and the school’s lawyer for the school to offer him a placement in a residential treatment school at their cost.
GP, a mother of a 24-year-old son with ASD, also reported regarding the IEP process and IEP
execution:
I scrutinized the IEPs and wrote beautiful IEPs. In retrospect, I will say I felt like I wasted an enormous amount of time on creating IEPs that the school system did not have the talent to really implement.
EW, a father of 19-year-old son with ASD, shared further that the same situation was happening
in career schools:
He was for a year in a regular school in a special needs class. It was a disaster. Then we put him in a BOCES program, and it was pretty much a disaster all along the road. …They [people who worked at BOCES] were really doing the very, very, very best that they had. But it was completely ineffectual in my humble opinion. And we realized that it
75 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
just was a sort of form of babysitting.
TS, a mother of 19-year-old daughter with Asperger’s syndrome, also shared about lack of
professional support at school, and that the school used punishment instead of encouragement,
with children with developmental disabilities:
In second grade, I asked the school what was going on because she was telling me she was starting to hate school and I could not figure it out. I’m like, “Here’s my child, who loves to read. What’s going on?” Come to find out a friend was volunteering in the class and she called me and said, “L’s getting punished. She’s being told to sit at her own table.” She discussed with me the disorganization in the classroom. In retrospect, it was that L tends to – she likes schedules. She likes structure. We’ve always had that in our house because, as two working parents, it’s been helpful. Parents experienced lack of professional support from the social work community, mostly
related to lack of financial planning and transition planning for families of children with ASD.
Half of the parents in the study reported this lack of professional support related to financial
planning was contributing to their stress, as they were not informed about the need to prepare for
possible impending financial hardship while experienced pressure to provide for their family and
their child with special needs. GB, a mother of 18-year-old daughter with ASD, shared her worries
about her financial situation after she divorced because while she was the primary caregiver, her
husband was responsible for the finances, “[Husband] was in charge of working and keeping the
financial support going, but he really couldn’t join in as a part of supporting [our daughter] … I
was terrified financially of what would happen to me after the divorce.” TS, a mother of an 18-
year-old daughter with ASD and two other – typical – children, reported financial burden imposed
on the family when her husband, the primary bread earner lost his job: “He [husband] had been
laid off when we took out – we had to remortgage the house. The financial burden, too, with
fighting for her [daughter] – it was suffocating.”
76 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
Six parents shared an additional stress of creating extra financial security to be able to hire
private help, advocate for their child’s needs and stay home to provide child care while their spouse
worked outside the home. Parents who had the financial means to have one parent stay home and
care for the child felt fortunate to have had such an opportunity to be involved with advocating
and taking close care of their child’s daily and therapeutic needs. Other parents who were able to
hire private help reported that they could continue working and delegate some of the daily needs
to people they trusted, such as babysitters and paraprofessionals. SB, a mother of a 23-year-old
son with ASD, who is her middle child, reported:
I was lucky in that my husband has a good job, and I didn’t have the pressure to have to work. I mean, that was a huge blessing through that entire 20 years. I was able to be there when I needed to be. Most parents reported lack of professional support in transition planning and services,
especially transitioning from childhood to teenage years, and then from teenage years to adulthood.
Some parents shared that the middle school years were the hardest time, while others reported that
high school years were most difficult. The perception of difficulty during these times was
reportedly due to the nature of the transition, increased academic and social pressures, lacking
resources in coping with transitions and decreased consistency in outside support as the children
grew older. Some parents shared that as children aged, their behavior became more rigid, anxious
or challenging. WB, a father of a 21-year-old daughter with ASD, reported:
I’ve even been told by other fathers with younger kids on the spectrum that autism’s not something that ever goes away. So, we thought after several years of intervention and some social skills work that we’re like, “Okay. She’s on the right track. She’s gonna develop normally from here.” And then adolescence hit us like a tsunami. And I had wished now that if we had kept – because we had stopped all services for some time in probably early middle school. And then we were just shocked when the anxiety and the school avoidance hit us, hit her, and just completely rocked our world. So, if we had kept – that was definitely a big regret I have is that if we had kept services in place, if we had read more and prepared for that, I feel like we could have weathered that a lot better.
77 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
Parents also experienced stress related to lack of planning and services during times of transition
from their child’s pre-teenage to teenage years, and from teenage years to adulthood. Specific
issues related to transition to college included challenges with student housing, socialization
support, and special needs resources support (supports that aimed to help college students with
ASD). EW, a father of 19-year old son with ASD, shared:
If I can wave any sort of banners, that would be one of the ones that I would like to get across that the services, assistance options are little to none when these people age out of the school system……That [respite services that were authorized by the Office for People with Developmental Issues] took about three years. Let’s just say that the ultimate approvals came through last year. It’s the middle of March. We have not seen one single thing ever come of it. Nothing. No benefit, no nothing. There’s an agency that you’re given a case worker. The one case worker suddenly disappeared. We got another one. I even was speaking to her yesterday. I said, “Is there anything happening with getting a respite? Somebody who can come in?” And she’s, “Yeah, I’m not feeling well. I had a death in the family.” This is how it goes on, okay? I very, very much sympathize and empathize, but that wasn’t exactly the topic of the discussion. It’s unbelievable. Unbelievable.
Parents also shared their insights about how important their child’s socialization is to minimizing
their isolation at the time when they are adults and to fostering their transition to independence
later on. PS, a mother of a 21-year-old son with ASD, shared about her son being not prepared to
life after college because he could not figure out how to connect socially:
He was in college and I still didn’t think there were much issues going on. Until he graduates college, and realized socially he could not figure out how to get a job. He can’t interview, he doesn’t have eye contact – yeah. It was really difficult that he lost job after job too, because he couldn’t follow the directions, or that kind of stuff. It was so painful to watch my kid go through that rejection. And basically, he continues to go through that rejection.
CB, a semi-retired freelance editor and father of a 27-year-old son with ASD, also shared about
stress related to the transition services:
I think the main thing that came to mind there was that all I knew about transition planning was what I had been told by the school that [son] was attending in his mid-teens. And they did want to have [son with ASD] attend IEP [Individualized Education Plan] meetings from the earliest available point on. And he would be there for maybe five or ten minutes per meeting. And I have no idea whether that was really serving his best interests or not. But,
78 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
anyway, the information that I received about transition planning was just so slow in coming my way. And I ended up learning about a school district transition planning liaison maybe only when he was 20 or so. And it was not from his school. And she turned out to be tremendously helpful but that was an example of how hard to come by information really was for me. Lack of support from professional communities manifested also as negative predictions
about the family’s future and the child’s outcomes from various professionals. AF, a mother of a
24 year old son with ASD shared:
When my son was diagnosed, so long ago… and (then) when my husband got paralyzed, the surgeon said, “Your marriage will not survive this.” And I said, “Eh, we survived Autism. We have Autism and they told me that.” So he said, “You have an Autistic child too?” And I said, “Yeah!” And he shook his head and said… you guys are not gonna make it.
The same mother shared later: He was 12 years old, we did another assessment... the psychologist said, “He will have like an hourly rate job and he will probably…he won’t be able to live alone.” That’s what they told us.
MO, a mother of a 22 year-old daughter with ASD shared her experience with doctors and teachers: I have been working with so many specialists about autism – autistic children, and every
time I talk with teachers or doctors or therapists, the way they talk to you, they first says, “Your child will never be able to do this, this, this, this, this...”...those messages, as a parent, were very painful.
Compounding Nature of Stressors
Many parents shared the “pile-up” of challenges that made their life as a parent stressful.
BK, a mother of a 20-year-old son, shared “heaped on” problems related to caring for her child
with multiple chronic issues, “Like people, you know, like life isn’t easy and perfect for everybody,
right? But, the question is, you know, how many problems do you have heaped on? And that was
our problem that was heaped on.” AF a mother of a son with ASD, was also reporting a pile-up of
multiple problems, “I had choices [to make]. I had to triage, is a better word. Look what I had …a
pile up… to deal with.” WB, a father of a 19-year-old daughter with ASD, shared:
Even now, years later, I have difficulty in the mornings. It sounds stupid, but it’s almost
79 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
like a PTSD response where I’m just kneejerk reaction like I’m gonna wake up in the morning and have to deal with this because it went on for probably three years at least. So, that without a doubt was the biggest challenge. And then through all that, we’re trying to pay attention and give our younger daughter attention. And that just adds another layer of stress into the situation.
Negative Effects on Parents Rearing Children with ASD
The multilayered compounding stress generated in parents of children with ASD diagnosis
adheres negative immediate and long-term effects, some of which become stressors themselves,
potentiating the stress load and causing more negative effects.
Immediate Effects. Parents reported that immediately following the ASD diagnosis, they
experienced a mix of shock and sadness, anger and devastation, fear and worry, disappointment
and guilt. LT, a mother of a 21-year-old son from Massachusetts, shared her traumatic experience
of ASD diagnosis and the meaning it had for her child’s life ahead, “And so, when they gave him
an Asperger’s diagnosis, and said it wasn’t clear whether he was gonna be able to live
independently, that was just an enormous blow.” Also, immediately after the diagnosis, parents
felt lacking attunement and a bond with the child, and they experienced loneliness, self-blame and
denial. SB, a mother of a 22 year old child shared their lacking bond, “I didn’t bond with him when
he was a baby because of the challenges that I knew he would have. It wasn’t until he had his
surgery when he was 8 months old and we almost lost him that I feel I really connected with him.”
Parents were desperate to find a “road map” and attempted to “fix” or solve problems right
after the diagnosis was made, but found themselves in a great disappointment state when the
immediate fix was not there, and no matter how much money or time were invested in resolving
the situation related to the ASD diagnosis, they were not victorious.
80 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
Long-term Effects. Parents reported that long-term effects of their parenthood experience
included isolation and the impact on psychological well-being and mental health, family and social
relationships.
Isolation. All participants shared the experience of being isolated from other parents and
from their own family members, as well as the school system and peers mostly due to the need to
care for their child with ASD that took all of their time. GB, mother of 18-year-old daughter,
shared:
Then, I started getting into the therapies, which meant less time to be with other parents of other children, because they were in playgroups and my daughter was going to therapy. I was much more isolated.… With [first daughter, a typical child], I was very out there. I was just sort of very gregarious, very outgoing. With [daughter with ASD], I remember just sort of withdrawing more and more into myself.
DE, a father of a 23 year-old son with ASD, also reported:
It was extremely isolating. I didn’t develop any friendships with other kids’ parents. I always kind of assumed going into it that – I don’t make friends that easily and I kind of assumed that we would make friends with other parents. We’d have more adult relationships. But it didn’t happen because we were so isolated. We had no one to help care for the kids. We had no crowd that we could run with, for the kids to play with, or anything like that. We were almost totally alone all the time. Because we didn’t have relatives nearby and because of the difficulty of the kids’ conditions.
AF, a mother of a 24-year-old son with ASD, remembered not having any time to have fun
activities, and being isolated, “…and my husband who is an athlete… and my daughter who is an
athlete, they went and did their thing. And me and my boy did therapy or any activity … It was
just me and him.”
SB, a mother of a 23-year-old son with ASD, explained feeling isolated because of not
being understood, “My biggest challenge at that time was really no one understood what I was
going through… I was alone...”
81 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
Impact on Psychological Well-Being and Mental Health. Parents reported symptoms of
worsened and poor psychological wellbeing and mental health sometime after the ASD diagnosis
was made. These included: psychological distress, worries and anxiety, fears and depression,
trauma and PTSD, even with suicidal ideation, loss of hope and helplessness, self-blame, shame,
and resignation, regret, guilt, and resentment, and combinations of the above.
Parents’ psychological distress manifested as frustration, disappointment, sadness,
loneliness, anger, being overwhelmed, embarrassment, and as perception of never-ending
challenges and lacking confidence and stability. Distress was related to past parenthood
experiences, their current situation, and future worries. DE, a father of a 23-year-old son with
ASD, reported:
In fact, looking back at it, we both [self and spouse] feel that we have suffered all of the sadnesses and heartbreaks of raising children, with none of the joys. None of the good stuff. When I go home from work, maybe I’ll go past the athletic field and I’ll see little kids playing soccer or something. My first reaction is, “I wish I had a kid doing that.” And then my second reaction is, “No, I don’t wish I had a kid doing that. I wish that we had been able to be part of that when our kids were that age.” So, to put it in a nutshell, we feel we missed all the good stuff.
All participants expressed distress related to concerns about the future. Concerns about the
immediate future related to their child’s dating, driving, career development, financial security,
relationships, isolation, mental health, transition into college and growing independence. Concerns
related to later life were adjustment to an “empty nest,” the unknowns, and what will happen with
their child when they are gone. TC, a mother of a 21-year-old son with ASD, reported the distress
and fears she experienced regarding her son’s ability to function and maintaining his mental health:
In high school he became completely non-functional, he literally didn’t wanna do anything, wasn’t doing anything. As far as I could see, completely destroying his future because as a ninth grade he was a F student. All I kept thinking, what are we gonna do with this kid, he will not even get out of bed, he stopped taking care of his hygiene… we started looking in to special need trust for him because we were like how is he ever gonna even get a part-time job? He won’t get out of bed, he won’t brush his teeth, he won’t comb his hair. I
82 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
couldn’t even imagine him ever doing anything, I was looking at a kid who was gonna be in his bed for the rest of his life on his computers…this was right around the time of the Sandy Hook shooting that was all happening. This is Adam Lanza, like he is Adam Lanza, this is gonna be our future, he’s gonna be shooting up a high school someday. It was really very very traumatic and scary. I just couldn’t even imagine how bad things were gonna continue to get.
Parents shared that they experienced constant worry and anxiety, about their children with ASD
lacking good enough socialization skills, sufficient self-awareness and awareness of others, as well
as good social skills to get a job, to have friends, to date, marry, and have family of their own. PS
a mother of two sons with ASD and one neurotypical son, shared her worries and pain related to
her 21-year-old son with ASD:
And basically, he [son with ASD] continues to go through that rejection. …He works at home, he’s got about a 30 hour a week job, who knows how long that will last. Hopefully it will last forever, but he constantly gets rejected from jobs... [and] Women? He did date someone for five years in there. They broke up. She had a lot of issues. He had a lot of issues. But, I think hers were more than is. But now, it’s like he’s a serial dater. And it’s very sad to hear your son say to you, “I will never have children because I don’t want my child to be autistic.” So, you just wonder. What is the life going to be about? I just get so scared that I see them just living alone, and nothing.
GP, a mother of a 24-years-old son, recalls her fears related to the meaning of the ASD diagnosis
for her son’s future in terms of getting a family of his own:
I remember early on crying because I was reading Temple Grandin’s book. This was very early on. … He had just been diagnosed. He’s like about 4. I’m reading Temple Grandin and she advises that they be celibate, and I have a 4-year old. I’m kind of crying over that.
Parents’ experience consisted of many unknowns, which impacted the level of anxiety that they
had, which in turn impacted their ability to see the bigger picture, beyond the deficits in their
child’s development and their atypical parenthood experiences. SB, a mother of a 23-year-old son
with ASD, shared, “But I never really enjoyed any of the stages of his development, because I was
always worried about whether he would get to the next level or get to the next step.”
83 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
Parents reported feeling anger related to their lack of confidence in their ability to help
their child or develop needed skills to support them. MO, a mother of a 22-year-old daughter with
ASD, shared:
I did things, but every time I couldn’t get what I wanted from her, I felt very upset. Sometimes I’d get angry. And I guess that feeling, in some way I threw it to her in some way, but I also – it was dismiss[ing]) myself - my confidence. I really lost my confidence because wherever I try, I couldn’t get what I wanted. The first 18 years was like that. Because I couldn’t get what I wanted from her, I turned those feelings into anger to her, but at the same time, it diminished my confidence more and more and more.
Many of the parents reported sadness due to loneliness and isolation. GP, a stay-at-home mother
to a 24-year-old son living in Massachusetts and previously in the advertising and finance field,
shared:
I felt like you go through that door, you become a parent, it’s a parent door and you have all these people that you meet that are comrades at the playground and things like that. Everybody has the same story. Then you go through that other door that a lot of parents don’t go through. It’s a special needs door and it feels very lonely. And then it’s very different. Not every parent you meet in the waiting rooms for that are going to be like you, particularly on the spectrum because there are several parents that are on the spectrum themselves and if you’re not, you kind of realize that after talking to them for a while. So, it becomes fairly difficult. It’s definitely lonely. A lot of parents meet friends through their kids. Their kids play soccer together. The kids have play dates together and then they become friendly with each other. Once your kid is not on the same trajectory as everybody else in town, you don’t see the other parents in town.
All parents in the study reported some signs of depression or exacerbation of prior symptoms of
depression (in three parents), and even PTSD with suicidal ideation. LT, a mother of a 25-year-
old son with ASD, who lives in the Northeast, described:
I have to laugh because it was so bad. I had a nervous breakdown. I had the postpartum depression and that was kind of a lingering thing, and then when he started having really bad behavioral issues it was very triggering for me. He would wail on me. He would hit me and throw things at me and scream at me. I had PTSD and I started feeling like I wanted to kill myself.
BK, a mother of a 20-year-old son with ASD, also shared traumatic parental experiences:
Oh, well that was just because he became severely depressed at the university. I’m talking
84 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
about like relationship between ... the [children and the] parents and the trauma that they experience …because their children are either violent, uncontrollable, disrespectful or there’s like real, severe depression… These are … like issues where the parents then become traumatized because they’re dealing with like insurmountable issues.
Parents shared their helplessness because of inability to do things as effectively as they would have
liked. EW, a father of a 19-year-old son with ASD, described his experience:
Something that I’ll say that is true still to this day, dealing with Autism is basically scrambling around in the dark. It’s been from the beginning, and it is to this very day. You’re scrambling around, trying to find your way in what is essentially darkness, and it hasn’t changed to this day.
Parents shared that they blamed themselves for their child’s challenges and struggles. They
experienced self-blame for not doing the “right” things in the beginning or for their child’s lack of
independence as they got older. WB, a father of a 21-year-old daughter with ASD, shared:
I think I became very - really overprotective of her. And that’s something that we’re still dealing with now in that we’re trying to scale back and have her be less dependent on us. Our number one priority right now is to get her independent life skills, which I think we could have done better. I even take the blame. I probably went too far in terms of doing things for her and protecting her.
Parents reportedly experienced shame related to being blamed by their child or family members,
for making certain parenting decisions, and this sometimes caused withdrawal and resignation.
TC, a mother of a 21-year-old son with ASD, a physician, shared:
...He [the son with ASD] also blamed me for everything. I tried to fight it for a while, but eventually I was just like, if you really hate me, that’s fine. You hate me…it’s over, I can withdraw from this relationship.
Parents also experienced loss of hope for a good outcome for their child, which also led to
resignation. The same mother, TC, reported:
It just seemed that there was no hope, that nothing was gonna happen, that nothing was helping him and we just kept trying things and I was willing to try anything at that point, if I believed it would really work I would have sent him [to a wilderness program].
85 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
Parents shared they felt regret that they could have done things differently had there been more
information. Two parents reported regret for their anxiety and worry, and four parents reported
regret that they did not enjoy the child’s life stages or celebrate their child’s successes more when
they were happening. The 12 parents with more than one child described guilt and regret for not
paying enough attention to their other children. SB, mother of a 22-year-old son with ASD from
Michigan, shared:
And my main regret – in fact, I met a mom who, they just had their daughter who’s five diagnosed on the spectrum, and the one thing I really wanted to say to her was try to enjoy the stages of your daughter’s life. I mean [my child] was really – he was a joy. He was not a behavior problem. He was not any trouble – of course there were all the challenges, but behaviorally, he wasn’t a challenge… And so that’s one of the things I really, as a parent, kind of lost sight of - just enjoying the moment with him. Even though I have tons of memories and great times with him, it’s just that there was always that burden that, what’s he going to be as an adult? What’s he going to accomplish? And that kind of thing.
GB, a mother of two daughters, one of whom (18-year-old) has ASD, reflected on her regrets:
I think it as probably hard on my older daughter, and I didn’t realize it at the time, but I think I probably was hyper-focused on [daughter with ASD] and it was hard for [typical sibling]. I did things with [typical daughter], but I think I was just probably pretty anxious about [daughter with ASD]. That was probably hard for [typical daughter], too.
Three parents acknowledged resentment as one of the negative effects of parenthood experience.
Parents shared their resentment of the caregiver’s role, specifically feeling that they were the only
ones doing everything for the child, distinct from the role their spouse had. SB, a mother of 22-
year-old son with ASD, shared the resentment she felt about what she was missing out on:
And part of me was a little bit resentful that I didn’t have the outside connections that my husband did. He could leave and forget the issues and go to work in the real world. So, I think part of me was a little resentful about that, but I wouldn’t have had it any other way.
Impact on Family Relationships. Parents of children with ASD reported negative effects
on marital, parent-child, and sibling relationships in their family.
86 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
Marital Relationships. Parents experienced rejection, alienation and abandonment by their
spouse at the time when they were processing the diagnosis and coping with the reality of the
situation. They also were lacking support from their spouse in day to day challenges, reported
spouses exhibiting critical and negative behavior, minimization of challenges, and blaming. Some
parents reported that their marriage was impacted negatively because of differing perspectives of
the child’s challenges and on decision on which issues to focus, as well as other issues related to
child care. For some, one parent’s prioritization of their child with ASD over their spouse and
other children contributed to stress in the marriage. GB, a mother of an 18-year-old daughter with
ASD, who is working in the healthcare field, reported:
[Husband] didn’t really handle – it took [my husband] a long time to accept the autism diagnosis. I remember one day he was alone with her for a while, and I came home and he was exasperated. He said, “Tell me more about this autism.” He was always a few steps behind. I was the one in charge of her care. [My husband] was in charge of working and keeping the financial support going, but he really couldn’t join in as a part of supporting [child with ASD]. He went to one IEP [Individualized Education Plan] meeting and he came out saying, “I had no idea what language you were speaking with them, but it’s a language you know and I don’t know.” He was pretty distanced from it, and he – I think the stress of it – he became more and more violent. We eventually separated and divorced, because he just couldn’t handle the whole situation of our family. It had become me focused on [child with ASD], supporting [neurotypical sibling] as much as we could, [husband] and I struggling. We went to marriage counseling for three years.
Five parents reported that having a child with ASD took a toll on the family, specifically
contributing to division of the family and even divorce (for four out of these five parents). Other
parents shared that the family dynamic became strained after the birth of their child with ASD, but
they were able to collaboratively make it work. AF, a director of a school for children with ASD
and mother of a 24-year-old son, attributed the family division to her husband and daughter’s lack
of desire to understand her son:
It is sad. It is sad…but it is sadder for me [than] for my son. It hurts me that my daughter bullied him in our house and when I would intervene, her father would defend her and again that added to our division in our house. He needed help, because they fully did not
87 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
understand him and chose not to. They bullied me. She would tattle, “Daddy, Mommy’s helping [child with ASD] on the computer, she is doing HW for him,” because he couldn’t write or speak at the same time so I would be his secretary. Their lack of wanting to want to understand him led to a larger and larger gap and that’s where it is. Parent-Child Relationships. Parents reported negative effects on their relationship with the
child with ASD and with their other children. While parents shared a close bond with their child
as their child’s caretakers, parent’s initial frustrations due to lack of expected connection with the
child with ASD, their own anger and inability to accept their child as they are and anxiety about
the child’s outcomes impacted negatively on parent-child relationships. MO, a mother of a 22-
year-old daughter with ASD, remembered:
I always believed that she, in some way, could get better because the few times that I could really observe her, I realized that she’s smart and that she can think, even [though] she cannot talk. But she in so many times has demonstrated to me that she can think. But because I wanted things the way I wanted, not the way she can do it, it’s like not accepting her. And she knew it; she could feel it.
Parents shared that their relationships with their other children who were typical or with less severe
symptoms of ASD, were also negatively impacted. All parents who had more than one child,
reported that because they focused their attention on the child with ASD, and if there were two
children with ASD in the family, they focused on the one with more severe symptoms, their other
children did not get proper attention. MO, a mother of a 22-year-old daughter with ASD, shared:
But my [other] children, I guess they understood how difficult it was to take care of [child with ASD] because she was the child who was running all the time, all day. So, [child with ASD] wanted to be all the time outside the house when we were at home, and so I was just taking care of her. And my youngest and my oldest were with other children of the same age. Siblings Relationships. All 12 parents who had more than one child shared that having a
sibling with ASD posed challenges for typical children, and had an impact on them and their
relationship with their sibling with ASD. Some parents described the experience for the sibling as
extremely difficult, while other parents shared the ups and downs in the experience. Two parents
88 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
shared that their child rejected their sibling with ASD because of their own lacking self-confidence
and embarrassment, and three parents shared that their other child had resentment towards their
sibling with ASD. GP, a mother of a 24-year-old son with ASD and a neurotypical son, reported
on the effect on her younger son and the sibling relationship:
I think initially because [neurotypical son] was younger, he idolized his older brother, as most younger brothers do, and then later on, it became obvious that [son with ASD] was a liability for him, kids made fun of him. It’s a very small school system. So, [son with ASD] had a lot of issues with that. I think for siblings, they either become very protective, if they themselves are socially strong, they become very protective of their sibling. If they aren’t socially strong with themselves…, and he wasn’t, he also had a lot of social issues, then it took a while. There was one time where he and his cousin kind of ganged up on [son with ASD] and I had to have a real talk with him about how [son with ASD] gets bullied by lots of people. He should not be bullied by his family.
GB, a mother of two daughters, one of whom (18-year-old) had ASD, shared that the bond between
her children was impacted by her child’s (with ASD) aggression: “[The daughter with ASD]
wasn’t receptive to her sister. She was pretty aggressive to her sister. That was pretty much her
baby years.” The same mother reflected further on her children’s relationship:
Her fourth-grade teacher told me one time that [neurotypical daughter] had never mentioned having a sister. They had read a story about sisters and brothers and everyone in the class had volunteered some information about their sibling, and [neurotypical daughter] didn’t say anything. …I think, out of all of that, what probably was the downside was [neurotypical daughter], maybe not feeling as integrated as she might have been…
TS, a mother of three children, shared the pressure placed on her eldest son (the middle school
neurotypical child):
Yeah, so he’s a big boy and has been big in middle school but he never got in any trouble. I feel like I’m proud of him, but I almost feel like there was added pressure because he knew how much I could not stand that middle school and a lot of the administration and what his sister went through. He had a fine experience because he played a lot of town sports, so he knew kids. I think there’s added pressure on my other children because of our experience. I had a visceral reaction when I’d go into that middle school. I went in and we attended things but [typical son] – there’s no way he wouldn’t have felt that pressure because we talked about things.
89 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
PS, a mother of three children, shared the negative impact on her middle child, who is neurotypical,
as he became a caregiver to his siblings:
What he says now is, “Mom, don’t worry. I’ll take care of [son with ASD]. You don’t have to worry. You don’t have to worry. I’ll take care of them.” So, that’s kind of the position he’s put himself in, unfortunately. He is the typical middle child. I did the least for him. I just didn’t have time. I had both boys trying to figure out, you know? And the poor kid. “Can you zip his coat? Can you tie his shoes? Can you –” He’s a younger brother taking care of an older brother. It’s gonna have a major [negative] effect on him. Impact on Social Relationships. More than half of the parents shared that they experienced
negative changes in their social relationships, since the earlier stages of parenting their child with
ASD, as their children began to develop differently or at a different pace than other children their
age. These changes included judgment by friends, loss of adult connection, isolation and
detachment from socializing with friends with typically functioning children, feeling rejected, as
well as from being in their own ASD world. Parents reported a shift when they were not able to
include themselves and their child in the same typical activities as other children and their parents.
GP, a mother of 24-year-old son with ASD, shared the earlier part of her experience of a loss of
connection with other parents:
We thought we had a little genius on our hands, as a lot of Asperger’s parents think in the beginning. So, he was remarkable, but we noticed that he didn’t always want to do what the other kids were doing. Like at the playground, he’d want to go through rocks in the water when everybody else was sitting at the swings. I kept saying, “Don’t you want to…?” And he’d say, “No.” And I’d be like, I have to sit here and watch him throw rocks in the water when all the other moms are chatting because their kids are on the swings.
DE, a father of two children with ASD and self-described as having Asperger’s traits, shared the
feeling of being isolated from the rest of the parents’ community:
We were not able to have playgroups and playdates the way most parents can …Not being able to connect with other parents because you weren’t able to include your children in similar, typical sort of activities. It was extremely isolating.
90 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
Three parents reported purposely isolating themselves from other parents and friends because of
their own child’s needs and the pain of comparing their child to others. PS, an architect and
mother of three children, two on the ASD spectrum, shared, “I found myself just kind of
removing myself from other moms. I just didn’t want to hear how great their kid was doing. Too
painful. You know?”
Posttraumatic Growth and Other Benefits of Parenting a Child with ASD
The second major finding of the study is that while struggling with the stressors and
challenges of parenting children with ASD, parents reported simultaneously occurring benefits
and growth. These benefits included finding new possibilities, appreciation of life, personal
growth and strength, relating to others, and spiritual change.
New Possibilities
Parents reported that one of the benefits was finding new possibilities in life, which
included the new philosophy of life, new careers, new ways to take action, new possibilities to
understand their children, as well as new possibilities for their children. Because of their
experiences of rearing children with ASD, parents’ philosophy of life, i.e. the way of seeing the
world or themselves, shifted in terms of what is most important. This increased parents’ self-
awareness and ability to accept things as they are. E.g., parents shared that they saw new
possibilities for their future, when the initial expectations of how things “should be” were set aside,
and they were able to find new life paths for themselves. AF, mother of a 24-year-old son with
ASD, shared:
I am 54. I got my real time break at 53 because after I had gotten sick… my immunologist said, “You can’t do it anymore. You’re out.” So, I started my own agency of life and job coaching, case management. I did not wanna work with anyone but parents. So I did case management and I hired life and job coaches through people I met; it evolved because [child with ASD] was making progress and therapists kept saying - can I have a mom call you and I want you to speak to her and tell her who you use and what you did…and it kept
91 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
happening…and someone said, so and so gave me your name… it was so often that somebody said to me, “You can make it a business.” And I said, “I can make money off of this?!” I don’t want anyone to go through what I went through; I wanna be the Zagat of Autism. That’s what I wanted to be. I had to find everything. No one should have to do that. I wanna be the 411.
LT, a mother of 25-year-old son with ASD, also acknowledged her pragmatic creativity and
assertiveness when she utilized her experience of dealing with ASD related issues in making a new
career that she enjoys in the area of marketing and social executive coaching:
So, there were huge adjustments as I educated myself. And then once I educated myself, it wasn’t a big leap to realize that it didn’t take that long until I knew more about this world than I did about, in a certain way, the advertising world. Because while on the surface, it seems very different, my role in advertising was a lot of social coaching, and frankly, executive function coaching, … I will do the basic, ‘Let’s lay out your syllabi and take a look at what’s coming up if you don’t have an executive function’...
Parents described different new ways of taking action. Some of the parents reported becoming
experts on ASD and using the information that they learned both to foster deeper connections with
their child by leveraging their strengths and seeing the positive aspects of their characteristics, and
how to navigate the ASD and disability services system, search for answers and meaning, and
investigate alternatives to supporting their child’s needs. This included changing treatment
methods and school settings and finding new approaches to working with their child. One mother
shared that she became her child’s socialization coach, and all parents discussed their ways of
advocating for their child and doing everything for the child to keep things workable. Three parents
talked about making a geographical move to obtain better care for their child, and three parents
took steps to future preparedness in case of parent’s death. Another mother, GP, who cares for a
24-year-old son with ASD, reported not relying on professionals to implement the IEP effectively,
and taking an active role in this process, “The thing that I did that was great was I really
supplemented what the school could not provide. I supplemented on my own.” MO, a mother of a
22-year-old daughter with ASD from Japan, reported taking action by way of managing her child’s
92 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
interventions and doing self-growth work and self-reflection to be open to new possibilities for
helping her child:
When he [the teacher/therapist] left the first time, we just were so in peace because we understand why we were fearing things, why we were worrying about things, why we wanted things. So, it was not about [child]. I mean, it was not about her behaviors; it was more about how we were looking those behaviors, and why we were thinking those behaviors were problems. So, what he did was really make us understand what was happen with our daughter and help us to find the answers by ourselves. So, of course, he in some way gave us many advice, but at the end, we were the ones who decided what to do with the advice.
Parents shared finding new possibilities to understand their children through better understanding
the ASD diagnosis, which contributed to a more connected experience with their children and
allowed parents to care better for their needs. GB, a mother of an 18-year-old daughter with ASD,
shared her journey to better understanding the ASD diagnosis by becoming more observant of
what worked for her daughter and what did not:
If [child] had an obsession, I was going to work with it. If she was obsessed with fire hydrants, then we were going to color and cut out and put glitter on fire hydrants… because she had a real problem with using her hands and scissors and glue and mess. So, if she was interested in fire hydrants, by golly, we were going to focus on fire hydrants. I think it took becoming aware. It was like realizing that when I walked her down a quiet street, she was okay in the stroller, and if I went down a noisy street, she had an outbreak… and just picking up on these things, like paying attention to her. If I lifted the bathmat and she could hear it, it would send her into a fit. Dealing with thunder …, and she was really fixated with tornadoes.
GP, a mother of a 24-years-old son with ASD, shared about better understanding of the
socialization issues in children with ASD and their use of social media, to see the new possibilities
for social connections for her child:
A couple of nice words and he’s like all over the kids. He learned quickly that when he glommed on to somebody, after a while, they would not want anything to do with him. As he got older, he realized he needed to temper that, then when he discovered social media, he found that that was an easy way of really maintaining social contact without some of the difficulties. So, he has tons and tons of social media friends. … In a lot of ways, they’re not gonna have the connections that we have, but if you can teach them, that’s okay…it’s ok.
93 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
Parents shared that because of their working through struggles, they have learned to see more
possibilities for their children with ASD rather than sticking to negative assumptions and
predictions. GP, a mother of a 24-years-old son with ASD, shared:
God give me the strength to accept the things that I can’t change, and to accept the things I can and to have the wisdom to know the difference. So I have both those sides. It’s the wisdom to know the difference that makes it very difficult. My son said to me, “Gee, should I apply to BU?” I would have said, “No, I think that would be too hard for you.” That would’ve been my judgment. He said he was going to apply to BU and in my head, I said, “He’s never going to make it. But, I’m gonna let him try.” So, he applied and he got in. And then I was like, “Oh, my god. It’s not the kind of school I thought he should go to.”
Appreciation of Life
Parents reported the benefits of their parenthood experience in the area of appreciation of
life, which included a new perspective on their child, self, and life, finding benefit and positive
meaning of the disability, and obtaining wisdom, gratitude and hope.
New Perspective on Child, Self, and Life. Parents reported that they experienced an
expanded, broadened view of things and people, had more acceptance of how things are, changed
expectations, perspective about ASD in general and perception of what “the problem” and/or
success is, and shifted from blame to self-responsibility. GB, a mother of an 18-year-old daughter
with ASD, remarked on her changed perception of her daughter through greater acceptance of who
her child is: “To me, a big part of it was just accepting that [her child’s with ASD life experience]
and trying to comfort her through it. I think a big part was acceptance. Just, this is who she is.”
Parents also shared a newfound appreciation of their child as a source of positive changes in family
members. MC, a mother of a 26-year-old son with ASD, from Massachusetts, shared, “He
reinvented me. [People] would probably describe me as smart, hard-edged, analytical, maybe
judgmental. I can still be all of that, but I think kind and open as a result of my [child with ASD].”
Parents developed a better understanding of their “self” in order to better understand their
94 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
child. MO, a mother of an 18 year-old-daughter, from Japan, shared her new perspective on child,
life and self:
I have heard the word “acceptance” all my life because other people tell you, “You have to accept your child. You have to accept your child,” but I guess most of the parents don’t know what the acceptance means. During those 18 years, I always believed that I accept my child. But now that I thinking, I was thinking that I didn’t accept her because I wanted her different. And I said, “I love her,” but at the time, it was not her. I was loving an ideal, something that was not her. So, when I started the Son-Rise [Program][The Son-Rise Program teaches a specific and comprehensive system of autism treatment and education designed to help families and caregivers enable their children to dramatically improve in all areas of learning, development, communication and skill acquisition.] - it’s not like I fully understand what acceptance mean, but I guess it was the beginning of understanding what acceptance in some way means. I won’t say that I’m 100 percent [understanding what acceptance means]. I mean, even I’m working with this program for four years, I’m still working on myself, in order to really, fully accept her. But I guess, acceptance means not judge of what she’s doing because the more I’m studying or working with the Son-Rise, I really now understand the problems that actually she’s having – the sensory problems and all these problems. So, understanding her, I can in some way maybe put myself in other position and try to understand more what maybe could she experience, and since that point of view, I can just not expect her to do things the way I want to. So, I guess acceptance now for me means just let it go things.
LT, a mother of a 21-year-old son with ASD, shared her appreciation of life in the ASD world,
and what she made of it:
Well, I think I'm a much better parent than I would have been. I'm not perfect, and I always feel anxious about that. But I think I had to parent at a level – one of my friends told me the other day, ‘My kids would like to join your family.’ And I said, ‘Why?’ And they said, ‘Because you explain,’ because once I understood like the hidden curriculum – do you know that Brenda Smith Myles concept? So, once I understood the hidden curriculum, and once I understood all this social stuff, it became clear to me that while we only apply this largely to people on the spectrum, everyone will benefit from knowing it. And so I explain these things in the car with the kids and their friends all the time. So, she's like, ‘My kids would like to join your family because you actually explain the world to them in a way that other adults don’t explain the world to them, and they love it. And you're funny when you do it.’ And it was such a compliment. I was like, ‘That’s such a compliment.’ Finding Benefit and Positive Meaning of the Disability. Some parents found the benefit
though viewing their child’s behavior and characteristics as positive, gaining a new meaning to
95 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
the child’s limitations and disability. TS, a mother of an 18-year-old daughter with ASD, shared
appreciation of her daughter’s pragmatic nature as a strength:
It [the relationship with her child with ASD] is strong because she’s really easy to parent, because my seventh grader with puberty, the minute I say the word “period,” she goes running out of the room, so I can only talk to her about getting her period – I lock her in the car. She’s like, “Don’t do it!” But with [child with ASD] was just pragmatic. I’d have a book. We’d read a book. We’d talk about the book. “This is how you take care of your body, now that you’re 18.” Things are really there’s a lot that are very, very simple with her. Obtaining Wisdom, Gratitude and Hope. Some parents reported that they have gained
from their parenthood experience “wisdom” about what is most important. DW, a father of a son
with ASD and self-described as having Asperger’s traits himself, shared, “We have acquired
wisdom. We have acquired tolerance. And we have learned a whole lot about the human condition.
So, we didn’t get happiness. We got wisdom and insight. To me, it’s valuable in itself.” Other
parents talked about the wisdom of seeking support in usual and unusual places. GP, a mother of
a 24-years-old son with ASD, shared being creative and proactive in obtaining needed support
rather than taking ‘no’ for an answer:
[Son with ASD] …was not accepted [to camp]. He had an interview. He wasn’t accepted. I talked to the head of the group…. I said to the director would you consider doing a pilot training program for a school district and they said, “Yeah, they said yeah, they would consider that.” I went to the superintendent of our school system and I proposed that we start a program here for kids on the spectrum with a curriculum and train the – what I wanted to do was train the aids who would be working with the kids in the fall. They would come and I said you can open it up – our school system is really small. The specialty teachers would work under this curriculum. By the time – then the aids would work with the kids too so that by the time the aids get the kids in the fall, they’ve had all summer to work with these kids to know them and the kids know them. I thought it was a win-win idea.
Other parents shared that the joys of being a parent of a child with ASD is providing hope for the
possibility of this bitter-sweet experience to be more sweet than bitter. LT, a mother of a 21-year-
old son with ASD, provided a blog post about this:
96 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
Recently I dropped my now 19-year-old son off at college, and I felt so much joy in being able to experience this rite-of-passage, especially because many parents of kids on the autism spectrum do not get to have this experience. In the lead up, I described my feelings to people as “yes, it’s bittersweet... but I think my percent sweet is higher and my percent bitter is lower than many neurotypical parents feel.” I was so excited to help our son choose courses (still a frustrating experience after all these years), and I was positively gleeful when we landed in Minnesota and headed to Bed Bath and Beyond, “just like everyone else” (which I know is not really everyone else, but is just the financially, academically, transition/life skills capable, and in many other ways privileged few). But of course, this is what I had imagined and dreamed of all those 19 years ago.
Parents shared their gratitude for their parenting experience and their children and hopes related
to their child’s future. LT, a social life coach and mother of two children on the spectrum, shared
how grateful she is for her children and all the experiences she had with them:
I wanted to do something more psychological, and life didn’t give it to me in the way that I thought, but it did give me that experience. I think of it as a much more intensive parenting experience, and I would say that I know my kids better than any of my friends know their kids. I’m closer to them. They are more demonstrative [in showing love, affection, appreciation] than their kids now…their kids were what I wanted and I just didn’t get that, but now their kids are all shut off and independent and running their own lives. My kids tell me a lot of things, especially our daughter. It has just been a very different life experience.
Personal Growth and Strength
Parents of children with ASD reported increased personal strength that manifested through
changes in their character and their overall way of being, as they noted that they became more
flexible and able not to be reactive, as well as self-aware and humble, understanding, accepting,
forgiving, less selfish and more empathic, while being outgoing and assertive.
Parents also reported discovery of their own personal strengths as increased self-reliance
and recognition of possession of internal strength. This allowed them to have a positive attitude
towards life as a whole, not to feel judged or take things personally (e.g., other people’s opinions
and/or expectations about their child) and allow self-acknowledgement about doing a good job.
Others reported that they recognized a sense of perseverance, persistence, determination and a
97 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
“never giving up” attitude in handling challenges. Parents identified that they were good problem-
solvers, self-aware and were able to be self-directed in rearing their children and caring for their
needs.
Parents shared a sense of empowerment, courage, self-confidence, patience, and
willingness to ask for help. They discovered that they had skills that they did not know they had,
such as being structured, strong in advocacy, creative, good leaders, strategic and loyal. GP, a
mother of a 24-year-old son with ASD, acknowledged her efforts and strengths:
I don’t do a lot for me. But I think part of me gets a real kick out of doing these sorts of things well, which might be the reason why I’m searching to give people advice about things now. I do think I give myself a lot of kudos for doing certain things as well I have done.
CB, a father of a 27-year-old son with ASD, shared his personal strength as seen through his
determination and attitude, “I think, generally had an attitude of being determined to make a
change … It may be partly the attitude of never giving up that has made a major difference.”
Relating to Others
Parents reported improved relationships with others and finding themselves helping other
parents and other people. Parents shared their experience of an overall deeper connection with
others, learning how to love better and what it means to love another person, increased compassion
for other people, increased understanding of another’s wants, needs and desires, increased
tolerance and increased attention and awareness of others. MO, a mother of a 22-year-old daughter,
living in Japan, shared, “The connection with the people who are now around us is more deep…
it’s something that I could never (have) had [before].”
Twelve parents reported a desire to help, advise and empower other parents. AF, a mother
of a 24-year-old son with ASD, became the director of a special needs school, to contribute to the
ASD community. LT, a mother of a 21-year-old son and 19-year-old daughter, both on the ASD
98 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
spectrum, became a socialization coach for the same reason. Two of the parents reported
specifically volunteering to support people with disabilities, while two others supported their
spouses (with ASD traits) in becoming more socially aware and successful. PS, a divorced mother
of three children, and business owner, shared, “I volunteer a lot, I try to do things for other people.
I do a lot of work for people with disabilities, which make me feel fantastic… that gives me so
much joy.” DE, a father of a 23-year-old son and on the spectrum himself, shared his desire to help
others in both neurotypical and neuroatypical worlds:
Certainly learned a lot, as I mentioned earlier. We also learned a lot about Asperger’s and I feel that maybe, at some point, there will be a chance for me to kind of be an ambassador. Maybe some volunteer slot or something to help explain Asperger’s and Aspies to the neuro-typicals and vice versa. I’m pretty verbal and pretty linear in a way that Aspies can understand. So I might have a chance of being able to explain the bewildering world of neuro-typicals to an Aspie kid. Maybe.
Spiritual Change
Half of the participants described developing a deepened sense of spirituality, belief in their
child, an increased sense of importance of spiritual matters, faith and belief in God as supportive,
fitting what has happened in life into God’s/ life’s will and a belief that the parent was chosen to
experience this journey. AF, a mother of 24-year-old son with ASD, shared the role of spirituality
in supporting her through dealing with her child’s ASD and her husband’s accident at the same
time:
Two months after my daughter’s bat-mitzvah is when the car accident happens to my husband. So, I was not anything. I wasn’t religious. I was not looking for religion. I was looking for spirituality, definitely. For both. This was bigger than me. You don’t take two of my people. So, it made me spiritual. It gave understanding. It took away feeling like a victim. It gave me the comfort – I use the term loosely – of being “chosen” by…you know... just like people rely on religion for comfort.
GP, a mother of an 18-year-old daughter with ASD, shared her thoughts about being “chosen”: I
think somehow – and I’m not a religious person – God decided that I am capable of being a mom
99 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
to someone who has tons of issues.”
WB, a father of a 21-year-old son, shared that spirituality was a core of his life and that he
was serving people as self-imposed responsibility:
I think maybe spirituality is a big piece of this because I believe that God calls us to care for people. And there was never any guarantee that life was going to be easy and that challenges make us stronger and help us grow. And I guess it comes down to people that can embrace being a servant and doing what needs to be done and who can’t. I look around. There are certainly people in worse situations that I guess I could handle it. But you see people that have children who are profoundly disabled, in a wheelchair, can’t walk, can’t eat or care for themselves or require constant physical care. I’m not sure that I would have the stamina to do that kind of thing. The mental challenges is enough. But I don’t know. I guess I wouldn’t know until you’re in that circumstance. But I think the spirituality is a big piece of it. You’re called to take up your cross. You’re called to meet your responsibilities.
TS, a mother of an 18-year-old daughter with ASD, shared that spirituality and believing herself
gave her strength, “God, you gave me this child. I’m going to make sure this child has the best
possibilities that are open to her. I’m going to protect her.”
Being a Contribution to Other Parents with Children with ASD
Parents shared their desires about and ideas for supporting other parents and families with
children diagnosed with ASD. GP, mother of a son with ASD shared:
It feels like this is a big next stage, school is finally over. I had been thinking retrospectively there is a lot of stuff that I would like to tell parents. I’ve actually contacted [son’s] old school to say if the parents at the school are interested, I would be interested in talking to them.
One of the ideas was for hospitals and/or agencies to organize a panel of seasoned parents with
children on the ASD spectrum of varying ages (toddler to adult) available to parents of newly
diagnosed children. Parents insisted that because parents of children with ASD have the insider
knowledge about various ways ASD presents itself to the outside world, which no one else has,
they should be the ones advising new parents. E.g., BK, a mother of a 20-year-old son with ASD
100 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
shared the distinction between ASD related behavioral issue and the aggressive “defense” that
children with ASD may employ:
I mean, he was a wrestler, but, you know, he couldn’t – he couldn’t wrestle worth anything [laughs]. He was just in it for the socialization. He used to scream at people to try and scare them, but in the end, they took him down. So – so anyway, the other one, he’s the real wrestler. But, anyway, that’s another story. But, the bottom line is, is that that’s my theory. You understand what I’m saying to you, what my theory is? If you’re studying the difference between trauma and non-trauma, it would be interesting for you to compare like what are the behavioral issues. You should collect what are the behavioral issues of the children.
Another idea was to keep various supports in place for as long as possible, as well as to have multi-
disciplinary teams of professionals who understand the family’s needs, including current and long-
term planning (financial, housing, services). GP, a mother of a 24-year-old son with ASD and an
advocate for ASD community, shared about the importance of planning ahead when children are
still young:
Typically, what happens is parents go from year to year since initially, they believe that if they just get enough, the kid will improve. The exhaustion of all the different stuff that they have to go through and they have to get through, it makes it very hard to think about the future… what happens when their parents aren’t around anymore?... It’s basically financial future planning for their kids. What happens is people don’t think about that until their kids become adults. Then it’s very hard to plan financially for their kids. You need to do it when you’re young, when the kids are young and you don’t know.
Appreciation of the Study as a Benefit
Parents shared that they found participation in the study as a benefit for themselves, as it
made them stop and look retrospectively, and find out that there were more positive than negative
experiences of their parenthood journey, despite that it is long and difficult. LT, a mother of two
children on ASD spectrum, shared that parents will get connected with their children one day and
that their love to the child will be reciprocated; they just have to wait a bit longer:
I thought maybe I would never know her [daughter] in the way that I had imagined knowing my kids, but it turns out that I had to wait a lot longer. I had to wait to hear her say, “Mama,”
101 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
and I had to wait to hear her say, “I love you.” And I had to wait for everything longer, but that it was all there.
Parents shared that the study became a way to become more self-aware and, in a way, it was
therapeutic. Some parents shared lacking confidence in their own influence on others’ lives,
questioning whether their feedback would help, while others viewed the study as a way to pass on
wisdom and advice for other parents and caregivers, and reported eagerness to further research
through their participation. WB, a father of a 21-year-old daughter with ASD, shared that one of
the reasons he got involved in the study was to share with other people in the ASD community,
“Part of the other reason why I certainly agreed to do this study is I’d like to help other people. I
wish I had gotten some of the advice that I can now give other people.”
Coping of Parents Rearing Children with ASD, Factors that Facilitate Coping, and ASD
Family Unit
The third major finding of the study includes coping strategies that parents of children with
ASD utilized to deal with the multilayered compound stresses of parenthood, factors that
facilitated parents’ coping, and the ASD Family Unit.
Coping Strategies
Coping entails one’s intentional cognitive and behavioral efforts to mitigate the effects of
the stressors. Parents reported coping strategies that they perceived as effective and ineffective.
Effective Coping Strategies. Parents identified the coping strategies that helped them
address and manage the stress as effective. These strategies included biology focused coping,
cognitive positive reframing, and effective problem focused coping.
Biology Focused Coping. Four parents reported that they used mindfulness practices,
meditation and physical activity to alleviate their stress and feel balanced. GB, a mother of an 18
102 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
year old daughter with ASD shared:
At some point in the midst of all this I did Duke University Medical Center’s Integrative Mindfulness class and I began meditating, because I don’t know where I would have been without that. I also developed with my therapist a safe place that I could go to – a visualized safe place – and I would go there for just like a couple seconds when the girls were really on me both and I was the single parent. I’m sure I’m tougher after all this.
TS, a mother of an 18-year-old daughter with ASD, shared, “I go on a walk every day with my
dog. I don’t use earbuds. I usually pray during that time. It’s reflective meditation. For me, it was
really a source of strength…”
MC, a mother of a 26-year-old son with ASD, shared about using biology-focused coping
strategies of co-regulation with people she works with, that she previously used to help her
understand and work with her son with ASD when he was younger:
I go to the mall, and I see somebody flipping out. I don’t assume they’re a bad parent. …I assume, oh, there's something up with them. … I try to harmonize with them like I did with [son with ASD]. Like, where’s their energy level? I don’t know how to explain this. It’s just kind of like where are they coming from? Let’s get there. It’s not an intellectual exercise. It’s a biological exercise, and there have been people sometimes who have been a little hostile here. You can deflect it. …You help them co-regulate. Cognitive Positive Reframing. Parents shared using cognitive positive reframing of their
child’s behaviors, which improved their understanding of the child with ASD, as well as their
relationship and connection with the child, and lessened their stress. MC, mother of a 26-year-old
son with ASD, positively reframed her child’s behaviors:
I don’t know how many times he cut his hair with his own little Crayola Scissors. I was forever finding his binky in the broiler. You’d turn it on, and like there’d be all this rubber smoke. I’m like, dear God. Countless Legos in the VCR, just creative things or he would just take off sometimes… creative things like trying to figure out what you can put in the VCR and have it still work. I once lost my debit card, so I thought until finally, I realized I didn’t lose it. He must have taken it. And he’s probably three or four. I’m like, all right, think like [son with ASD]. Think like [son with ASD]. Where would you put the debit card? I’m like it’s in my PC. So, I take the flashlight, and I look at the floppy disk drive because we had those back then. And there it was. He was trying to get money. So, I just picked up the PC and dumped it out but very creative kind of stuff.
103 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
GB, a mother of an 18-year-old daughter with ASD, also shared that her ability for positive
reframing made her a better, unassuming, observer:
I think it’s helped me be in the observer state more, because I really had to watch her and not assume that because she was on the autism spectrum that she would have the limitations that I might’ve expected for her to have. It helped me be more responsive. Sometimes you expect as a parent, to always have your love reciprocated and maybe you get upset because in the teenage years they don’t do that anymore. I think I was more ready for the teenage years because [daughter with ASD] could be very aloof and not that affectionate. I was just sort of, kind of ready for them to pull back earlier, maybe, because [daughter with ASD] had taught me that, that she wasn’t always going to be a warm, affectionate person that I wanted her to be. Effective Use of Problem Focused Coping. Some of the parents reported the use of
problem focused coping, which was proactively preparing resources for socialization, setting up
therapy resources in place of socialization, pragmatically focus on child’s current issues rather
than probable future concerns, and not having expectations for child’s future outcomes (e.g.,
related to driving, marriage and having children). These problem-focused strategies were helpful
in dealing with parental stress. LT, a mother of two children on the spectrum, shared her focus on
the current concerns:
Since my own kids are 20 and 22 and not gonna be parents right now, I do not follow along with the daily research because we’ve got who we’ve got. These young people’s brains are where they are. There’s only so many hours in the day, so I am not one of those people who is researching a bunch of theoretical stuff that’s not relevant to me in that moment, if I’m honest about it.
Some parents reported the problem-focused coping in the form of making the arrangement for one
parent to stay home to care for the child while the other (higher paid) parent works extra time to
provide for the child's needs, as well as accessing needed resources and private help. TC, a stay-
home-mother of a 21-year-old son with Asperger’s and a physician by education shared:
Luckily, financially we have had the resources. My husband’s a doctor, he’s made a good living. I do go to a support group for parents of adults with Asperger’s and I do feel like sometimes talking to some of these families who are like mortgaging their house for these special schools. When we did put him in [(school)] it was $25,000.00 for a semester but
104 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
we were able to pay it, luckily, at least to a certain extent. We haven’t been totally tested but we have some resources to be able to pay for his services and things that he needs. That has definitely been a support.
Other parents talked about effective cognitive coping strategies by utilizing known statistics about
negative effects of parental stressors in families that have children with ASD. For example, parents
shared that their awareness of marital strain and high rate of divorces in families of children with
ASD made them intentionally utilize coping strategies to keep their marriage a priority. GP, a
mother of a 24 year old son with ASD, shared:
What I will say is when we first got the diagnosis, [husband] talked to … somebody on the Autism Society… He had said, “ Look, make sure you and your wife go out…You wouldn’t believe how many people after they get this diagnosis get divorced.” And that’s quite true. So, we did make sure that we would have like – initially, we didn’t go out as much and [husband] said to me, “I make a lot of money and I don’t want to not be able to go out.” We got a sitter to come once a week so we can go out. It was hard because [son with ASD] was like never wanting to say hello to the sitter, was very happy to say, “Bye, Jennifer.” But he got used to it. It was just a lot of getting used to things and stuff. And we worked out systems. When we went on vacation, we’d play with the kids all day and at night, they’d watch TV and get room service and we’d go out. Ineffective Coping Strategies. Parents reported some coping strategies as not effective in
helping them deal with their stress, and this included use of alcohol; avoidance, denial, blame,
and ineffective problem-focused coping.
Use of Alcohol. One parent shared her use of alcohol in dealing with stress, despite her
knowledge of developing an addiction to it. The mother of a 24-year-old son with ASD reported
that “There is a high rate of addiction as a parent. Not that I was addicted to alcohol but it did make
me drink. I did want my glass of wine not just on a Friday or Saturday night, but I wanted it right
after [each] dinner.”
Avoidance, Denial and Blame. Eight parents reported that initially they avoided or denied
the existence of issues, the severity of their child’s challenges, or resisted reaching out for support
105 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
and sharing the need for help. PS, a divorced mother of three children, two of whom are on the
ASD spectrum, shared:
So, maybe, you know, I hide it from myself? Or just kind of stuffing it down in there. I don’t know. That’s a big thing with doing therapy, is talk about what that was like, the pain. And being different. … Too painful.
Five parents reported blaming others (organizations, spouse) for their child’s challenges and the
stresses associated with parenting. EW, a full-time caregiver and father of 19-year-old son with
ASD, shared:
I could diagnose that a child has autism today with the experience that I have with autism. I don’t need a goddamn organization to diagnose children with autism, and they’re soliciting donations from everybody and so forth. What do they actually do for people with autism? For parents that don’t have a life and so forth and so on? Nothing. This is the stuff that gets me so angry. Ineffective Use of Problem Focused Coping. While problem focused coping strategies are
viewed often as the better way of coping (Ghane et al., 2016), parents described it as ineffective,
depending on the situation and its outcomes. Some parents shared that initially they tried to “figure
it all out” in a specific time frame, trying to solve the problems to help their child get better,
including wanting to “fix” their child. LT, a mother of a 21 year old child with ASD shared her
thoughts related to dealing with her children’s challenges the same way she deals with making
arrangements for recovery from surgery:
My bosses were retiring in October, and so I thought to myself … “This is perfect. I’m going to get the kids assessed, and I’m gonna sort out this shit of moving our daughter to the special needs preschool because I’m gonna be recovering from surgery, but I’m not gonna be responsible for any work stuff. So, I’m gonna use this surgery recovery time to sort my kids out.” And I still had these visions that you could sort this stuff out.
GP, a mother of a 24-year-old son with ASD, shared her naivety about how long it would take to
get everything figured out: “I was naïve enough at the time to think it’s about a year before he has
to go to kindergarten. We’ve got a year to get him straightened out.”
106 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
Factors Facilitating Parents’ Coping
Factors identified as contributing to or facilitating coping in parents of children with ASD
included professional and social support.
Professional Support. Parents identified three kinds of professional support that
contributed to their coping: organizational support, treatment community support, and legal
support.
Organizational Support. Parents reported that some of their coping was supported by
various professional and government organizations, like summer camps for children with ASD
and their families, SSI, and professional teams at schools. These supports provided emotional
relief, a sense of community, tools and respite for parents. GP, a mother of a 24-year-old son
with ASD, shared about services provided at the summer camp for kids on the spectrum:
I found out MGH had a camp used to be called Youth Care. It’s now called Aspire. It was for kids on the spectrum. It was highly organized and they were teaching social skills and all this stuff and I really wanted [son with ASD] to get in. ….They did the camp really well. Before the camp started, they get their counselors together and go through a two-week training program to help those people work with the kids, basically to teach them how to work with the kids…
Another parent, WB, a father of a 21-year-old daughter, shared about services his daughter was
getting from SSI independent living system:
My wife did a great job several years ago getting [child] hooked up with SSI. So, she does receive funds every month that will become even more important if we try to get her to live independently. That was a good safety net for her. We recently started…an ABA counseling service up here. She’s had a couple of counselors there that have been very helpful for her. So, we’re now supplementing that with a life coach... So, both of them teach independent life skills and give [the child with ASD] a perspective outside of us. They take her out into the community and things like that. So, it provides a little bit of respite. Treatment Community Support. Parents reported that the professional treatment
community that worked with their family and child created positive changes, instilled hope and
107 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
possibility, promoted parents’ self-growth and knowledge, reassured and helped them feel valued
and ‘gotten.’ MO, mother of a 22-year-old daughter shared:
And what I found different in the Son-Rise Program is that they say because you as a parent love your child, you know that you have the power to do whatever in your hands to help her or him, and how they can develop is limitless. It was the first time that somebody could really tell us or tell me that there is still the possibility that we can help them. Even [though] they cannot talk or be normal, I guess the perspective or the way they see the child was completely different.
Parents reported also that the professional treatment community supported them in post- diagnosis
management of ASD, which included medication, intervention, and diet. At times, medications
prescribed to children with ASD diagnosis to address their unwanted behaviors, aggression, mental
health comorbidities (anxiety, depression, obsessive compulsive disorder) was a positive factor
influencing parents’ coping. Two parents out of eight who talked about medications reported that
medication was useful or a last hope. PS, a mother of a 21-year-old son, reported that the right
medication was helpful and transformative for her child as it impacted her ability to cope better
with her child:
I think he’s a pediatric neurologist in Wellesley who somebody had recommended I go see with [child]. It changed my life when we saw this guy. He didn’t believe – because what happens is, they put your kid on every med known to man. And Ritalin is not going to work on a kid on the spectrum if he doesn’t have ADHD, you know? It makes him go like, horrible. And I mean, I used to take the drugs with him to see, “Okay, you’re taking that. What’s that like?” Don’t even ask, it was not pretty. But we went and saw this guy. He’s probably retired. He had worked with brain injury patients at Mass General, adolescents with brain injury, and specifically started to notice that Amantadine really helped these kids. And it had been around for so long, it just didn’t make them go like this. [son with ASD] started taking it, I got a call from somebody on my street that [son with ASD] has smiled at them. So, it was about, twelve maybe? Around in there, he started taking Amantadine. And it was like a flower. His flower came out of him, and that was like a miracle. Yeah, yeah. It was like there was joy in that boy.
Effective interventions focusing on children or parents played a supportive role in parents’ coping.
All parents shared that their children received some type of intervention and two parents identified
that the kind of intervention for their child had a parent component that focused solely on their
108 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
ability to deal with the challenges of rearing a child with ASD diagnosis. MO, a mother of a 22-
year-old daughter, shared how the Son-Rise Program positively impacted her ability to cope and
deal with her own emotions and the challenges of parenthood:
When you [child] graduate school, then you go to work someplace, or if you cannot work in any place, then you have to be institutionalized. And I didn’t want her to be in some places, so I was looking for some therapy to go to help her. And because I couldn’t find anything in Japan, I look in English, and I found the Son-Rise Program. So, that was, in some way, the turning point in our lives. I mean, I have been working with so many specialist about autism – autistic children, ….and what I found different in the Son-Rise Program you know that you have the power to do whatever in your hands to help… I mean, how they can develop is limitless. …I mean, it was the first time that somebody could really tell us or tell me that there is still the possibility that we can help them. Even they cannot talk or be normal, I guess the perspective or the way they see the child was completely different.
Parents reported that finding appropriate diet for their child with ASD, and educating the parents
to better understand diet choices, was positively related to parents’ coping. Some parents reported
that a special diet was significant to ‘understanding’ their child, i.e. “why they did what they did”
and intolerances that impacted their behavior and functioning. Understanding what diet worked
best for their child, in terms which foods were or were not the triggers of unwanted symptoms,
empowered parents and provided some sense of control of the situation. LT, a mother of two
children on the ASD spectrum, shared:
The kids had a lot of food intolerances which go along with autism spectrum, and so they just couldn’t eat anything. No soy, dairy, nuts, or shellfish, and the belief at that time was that strict avoidance was your best hope because there were no – no allergist is gonna decide to deal with intolerances and diarrhea. They just don’t care. Not that they don't care, but people are dying of anaphylactic stuff. Nobody's dying of diarrhea. It’s just inconvenient, but if you don’t eat the thing, you don’t have the problem. Legal Support. Parents utilized legal services to obtain reimbursement from the school
district and to support them in advocating for needed services. TS, a mother of a 19-year-old
daughter with ASD, shared:
When I went back [to the school] saying, “She needs help with the group and the pragmatics around the group,” we were told that she was resistant. She didn’t go to the
109 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
[support] meetings. I’m like, “She was never invited.” So, we started a legal process. I worked with the attorney, the neuropsychologist. We got testing to the school prior to eighth grade. Social Support. Parents identify family, in particular spouses, their own workplace,
friends, and their community as sources of social support that impacted their coping, and they were
actively seeking it.
Family Support. Parents reported that family solidarity, reassurance from family members
and overall family support was significant to their ability to cope. TC, a mother of two children,
one with ASD, shared:
[My husband] and I are very lucky that we do have a supportive family… when there are problems, we both have our brothers that we can count on; if we ask them to do anything they will do it. My in-laws, if we ask them to do anything, they will do it.
Eight parents shared that receiving support from their spouse and achieving solidarity, early on in
the process of diagnosis, during the diagnostic process, and later on in the post-diagnosis journey,
as well as in the process of rearing the child with ASD, was significant to their coping, as they did
not feel alone on this journey. SB, a mother of a 22-year-old son with ASD, shared:
He was always – he always made sure he was at appointments and meetings and that kind of thing. Yeah. And you know, we would discuss and we would make plans and he was on board with whatever I wanted to pursue in terms of interventions and things like that, but again, he would be in on the big picture...
MO, a mother of a 22-year-old daughter, living in Japan, told about the support she received from
her husband (a physician), after he received news from the doctor about their child and the
diagnosis as well as in obtaining information and plans for treatment:
I’m so glad that it was my husband who told me [the diagnosis] because in some way, I could just throw my thoughts to him, and in some way, he was the one who was supporting me. It was more support. If it would be the doctor who told me that my child is autistic, I don’t know what kind of support I could have from [the doctor]. But I guess it was because it was my husband, in some way we could talk about it and what we should do. And also, my husband was looking for the place that we could take our daughter. He prepared what
110 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
to do. It’s not just that he would tell me that she’s autistic and there’s nothing else, but he in some way gave me some steps that we would follow after that. So, I’m glad for that. Having Own Workplace as Support. Some parents reported that they received support
from going to their place of work because they had a professional space outside of caring for their
child that they could go to for solace and respite. MC, a mother of a 26-year-old son with ASD
from Massachusetts, reported, “When I went to work… a staff meeting, adults. That is so
wonderful...” DE, a father of 23-year-old son, shared that the workspace could provide needed
support in an otherwise heartbreaking isolating situation:
Well, coping was difficult to start with because I had a difficult child and a difficult wife, as it were. [Wife] provided wonderful material support to all of us but I felt no emotional support to me at all. I felt completely alone. And I have always been somewhat of a solitary person so being alone and without resources or without help was not unknown to me. But in this situation, it was just crushing. It was heartbreaking. I would live the stereotype of the father who looks forward to going to the office on Monday so he can get some rest. But the only thing in my life that provided any support was my work environment, where I was well-regarded, did good work, had friendly colleagues. But at home, I felt that I was completely on my own, with no support except what I could generate from my inner strength.
Support from Friends. Social groups, parents of typically functioning children and of
children with special needs and disabilities served as a significant support network for parents.
These groups and parents helped mitigate isolation by providing support in the form of child care,
emotional support and encouragement. LT, a mother of two children on ASD spectrum, shared:
Our best support was the other couple who we shared a nanny with. I worked with the woman in advertising, so we commuted every day together. And we had long had dinner every Sunday night as a foursome. And then when our first kids arrived, we just added them, so [one child’s name] and [second child’s name] were together with our nanny four and a half days a week. But they were together, and (friend) and I would commute to work. And then we all had dinner every Sunday night because they also didn't have any local family. That was our best support.
Other parents shared that they preferred the helpful and meaningful support from other parents to
understand what might be “coming up” as well as the reassurance early on in the parenting journey
111 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
that “everything will be OK”, as opposed to reliance on the school system or textbooks to guide
them.
Community Support. Five parents shared that the outside community provided a safe space
for their child and accepted the child, such as school organizations and groups and community
programs. TS, a mother of a daughter with ASD, then in college, shared how the community’s
acceptance of her daughter served as a relief from worries about her daughter’s future:
She also volunteered at a horse farm for children with autism and disabled children. She’s been doing that since seventh grade. So, over five years that – she’s just a dependable volunteer. Every single week, she’s worked with the vets. She has done fundraising for them. She’s done some remarkable work. They know her for the person she is and they’re fine with it.
Another mother, BK, shared that she felt reassured and supported because of her son’s acceptance
in the community social group, “He’s very happy to be a part of the fraternity. He’s part of a club.
You know, a group of guys... and it feels good for him.”
ASD Family Unit
One of the unique outcomes of ways of coping used by the families of children with ASD
was a not usual, pragmatic, approach to parenting in service of family functioning, which is based
on the needs of the child with ASD – despite parents’ personalities, aspirations in life, and whatever
different ideas they had about parenting, parental roles, and life in general. This phenomenon can
be described as the “ASD Family Unit.” This ASD Family Unit incorporates dynamic parenting
roles and decisions, collaborative parenting style, and siblings as collaborators and caretakers.
Dynamic Parenting Roles and Decisions. Parents shared the different ways in which
caretaking was delegated within the family as a way to cope with the challenges of rearing a child,
and these ways were rather dynamic and flexible, i.e. they changed according to the best predictive
outcomes of the situation. Some of the parenting roles were strategically decided, while others
112 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
happened consequentially to what was happening within the family dynamic or based on the
parent's strengths and capabilities. Some parents assumed the caretaking role, which involved
advocacy and management of the child’s treatments and needs, while their spouse was in charge
of financial stability and access to financial resources. GP, a mother of a 24-year-old son with ASD
and full-time caretaker, shared:
[I was]… stay at home mom. I did most of the care taking. My husband …IEPs, therapies, he let me handle all of that because I just knew so much more than he did and he just made more money so we could afford all that sort of stuff. That was what he was concerned about.
In several families, the mothers took care of the child with ASD, while their husbands cared for
the other children. One mother described that she felt like a single parent, while another mother
shared that she felt she took care of both roles, of mother and father, to the child. AF, a divorced
mother of a son with ASD, shared her own and her ex-husband’s dynamic and changing roles in
their child’s life and objectives of parenting:
Three days ago, so my son is visiting his dad…. He is coming home tomorrow. His father got upset… first, he said to me… ‘he doesn’t have Autism, you made it up, because you had nothing better to do.’ Like that makes sense…
The same mother shared later: I parent (child with ASD). I am the main parent and I include his dad because it’s in the best interest of his son to feel and know his father is involved. Know what I mean? So I have to coach his dad on certain things on how to approach things with (child).
Two fathers shared that they were mostly involved with childcare. One father described a “role
reversal” in his family, wherein he was his child’s advocate and caretaker and his spouse was less
involved; another father reported that he took the lead role in the child’s care, such as arrangements
for transportation and community resources, while his spouse was involved in caring for
emergencies and in-house errands. CB, a father of a 27-year-old son with ASD, reported:
My wife has come along for emergency room visits but not many other contacts since he
113 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
was a toddler… So, what I mentioned about ER visits only was kind of the tip of the iceberg where those responsibilities are concerned. She occasionally transports him but I usually either I am transporting him or arranging for his transportation. Or rather always arranging for his transportation. That has always been my responsibility. I’ve also probably driven him places more than half the time. Well, arranging resources is not something she has ever been prepared to participate in. So, either she will drive him herself to certain places or she will do most of the in-house caretaking that’s called for. But dealing with the community resources, she won’t touch that.
Another parent, LT, shared her decision to stay home as a means of supporting her child in
developing independence later in life:
I also thought if you run the numbers on supporting your kid forever versus stopping working for a while to focus on them, it’s possibly even financially a better decision to stop working or cut back on your work in order to maximize the chances that they’re gonna support themselves. Collaborative Parenting Style. Parents reported that they used new, collaborative, joining
parenting style as the way to cope with their child’s symptoms effectively, as well as be their
child’s guides through their developmental journeys. All the parents stated, in different ways, that
the first ingredient of this style was being curious about the uniqueness of their children with ASD
and willingness to learn more about it. GP, a mother of a 24-year-old son with ASD, said, “I think
all moms... many moms, … especially the special kids’, get their kids really well.” MC, mother of
a 26-year-old son with ASD, shared getting to enjoy her parenthood experiences by putting herself
in her child’s shoes rather than trying to correct or “fix” him:
He loved trains. We spent a lot of time playing. He loved looking in the dirt. It [this behavior] was not normal, and I was always amazed by how he found some little weird detail to explore that would never occur to me. And it was kind of like looking at it through his eyes, which I kind of liked.
AF, a divorced mother of a 24-year-old son with ASD, shared about achieving (unexpected by
others) outcomes by using collaboration with her child with ASD:
Now, three days ago, [ex-husband] sends me a text to say how taken back how [son with ASD] was so helpful, he helped clean up after a family gathering, he walked the elderly aunt to the car…and no one asked him. And I explained to him…what you are seeing are
114 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
the results of him being prompted over a long period of time of me raising him to be a gentleman. There’s no dad here, there is no man in this kid’s life. I am the man. I have taught him.
Some other parents shared sentiments that learning to work on themselves and to be flexible is a
“key” to their successful parenting and in experiencing own personal growth, which also benefits
the child. GB, a mother of an 18-year-old daughter, shared:
I mean, you’ve got to be watching yourself and watching your child and changing yourself according to that. I mean, if you’re not willing to be introspective and to think about things, then you’re not going to have growth, but you’re going to keep going head-to-head with your child. I think anybody who has a child with autism, they have to learn this kind of dance. If you are not willing to be flexible in that, I don’t know if you have any hope of being the parent of a child with autism… I think maybe parents who don’t experience growth, I can’t imagine that they supported a child in the way they might have to. Siblings as Collaborators and Caretakers. Parents reported that neurotypical children
have special and complicated relationships with their siblings with ASD. They learn, in their own
way, to overcome sibling rivalry and to become collaborators and caretakers. GP, a mother of a
24-years-old son with ASD, shared how her neurotypical and son with ASD are able to get along
more recently, despite differences:
And now, [neurotypical son] is 21 now and he has said there’s a lot in his older brother he admires. There’s a lot that’s very difficult for him to deal with. He doesn’t have that patience. But he was willing to go to Europe with [son with ASD]. Before they went, the three of us sat down and we talked about what issues – if things come up, [son with ASD] is very sensitive. He [neurotypical son] doesn’t want to correct him in front of other people. We worked out two strategies that they could do. That was one strategy I gave him to deal with the fact that his brother talks to himself and it might be embarrassing for him in front of all these people. Rather than telling him not to say anything, using that strategy makes it easier for [son with ASD] to deal with and gets at the message.
Chapter 5: Discussion
This chapter discusses possible meanings of the study’s findings, interpretations of the
findings, and their implications for social work theory, practice, policy, and professional education,
as well as directions for further research.
115 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
Interpretation of the Findings
The findings of this study support existing knowledge about the experience of parents
rearing children with ASD, offer new perspectives on existing knowledge, as well as add to the
dearth of literature about the uniqueness of these parents’ experience, especially positive ones,
which are based on retrospective perception of parents after their children with ASD transitioned
to adulthood. Utilizing the methodology of narrative inquiry was exceptionally useful in
understanding the meaning of the experiences of parents of young adult children with ASD in that
an “insider view” and hence deeper understanding of the lived experiences of these parents was
uncovered, as well as the nuanced dynamics and details that exist in their previous experience.
All three major findings of this study are multifaceted and interrelated. They can be
interpreted by applying ecological approach (Belsky, 1984; Bronfenbrenner, 1979; Derguy,
M’Bailara, et al., 2016; Derguy, Roux, et al., 2018) to an umbrella framework that combines the
theories of stress (Barker et al., 2014), specifically chronic stress in families rearing children with
developmental disabilities (Perry, 1989; Perry, 2004) and ASD (Bluth et al., 2013), as well as
theories of coping (Aldwin, 2007; Aldwin, 2009; Folkman, Schaefer, & Lazarus, 1979). In addition
to these theories, the framework should include positive outcomes of working through life
challenges (Glück et al, 2019) and even achieving growth in all domains of PTG (Tedeschi &
Calhoun, 2004).
The finding of a multilayered compounding stress experienced of parents of children with
ASD supports existing knowledge (Bluth et al., 2013; Derguy et al., 2016; Derguy et al., 2018)
and offers looking at those parental experiences as multilayered and compounding, and the
challenges of each layer – as potentiating and/or generating one another within and between the
layers. Past research portrayed the experience of these parents as a linear set of stresses that do not
116 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
influence one another (Hill, 1958; Miodrag & Hodapp, 2010), described the outcomes of stress in
this population as dichotomous – adaptation or crisis (Hill, 1958; McCubbin, & Patterson, 1983)
or focused mostly on individual parents’ (Perry, 2004) or couple’s outcomes (Bluth et al., 2013).
This research expands upon a more comprehensive ecological approach to parental stress of
rearing children with ASD (Derguy, M’Bailara, et al., 2016; Derguy, Roux, et al., 2018) as
multilayered stress experience. It also includes such phenomena as stress proliferation (Benson,
2006; Ward, 2014), allostatic (stress) (over)load (Barker et al., 2014; McEwen, 2017) and
circularity principle (Lazarus & Folkman, 1986), to provide the explanation of a ‘compounding
stress’ quality.
Figure 2 depicts the layers of stresses experienced by parents of children with ASD. The
first layer is represented by the challenges and stressors of parenthood in general, especially during
the transition to parenthood (Crnic, Gaze, & Hoffman, 2005; Crouter & Booth, 2003), with all the
negative effects that often become stressors themselves. The second layer is represented by
additional challenges, stressors and negative effects that became stressors experienced by parents
of children with chronic illness and disability (Compas et al., 2012; Juster et al., 2010; Yamaoka
et al., 2015) and the third layer includes additional challenges, stressors and negative effects that
became stressors experienced by parents rearing children with specifically an ASD diagnosis
(Bonis, 2016; Ooi et al., 2016). Figure 2 shows that challenges experienced by parents of children
with ASD incorporate the challenges experienced by parents of children with chronic
illnesses/disabilities and those of parents in general (especially during transition to parenthood),
and can be compared with the snowball phenomenon, where each next layer adds to the weight of
the whole structure of the experiences of parents rearing children with ASD.
Figure 2
117 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
Challenges Experienced by Parents of Children with ASD
That participants reported challenges universal for parents, especially during transition to
parenthood, including stressors prior to birth, difficulties with birth process and difficulties with
adjustment after birth (the first layer of Figure 2) is consistent with previous findings that
parenthood, in general, produces a multitude of negative effects (Glass, Simon, et al., 2016). These
effects are related to emotional wellbeing (Gilbert, 2007; Hansen, 2011; McLanahan & Adams,
1989; Nomaguchi & Milkie, 2003; Ross & Van Willigen, 1996; Simon & Nath 2004; Umberson
& Gove, 1989), worsened physical wellbeing and increased health risk (Wickrama et al., 2001),
worsened mental conditions such as depression and postpartum disorder (Evenson & Simon,
2005), and negative effects on marital, social and parent-child relationships (Knoester &
Eggebeen, 2006; Huston, & Holmes, 2004).
That parents also reported experiences of being isolated from other parents, children and
their own families similar to parents of children with chronic illnesses and/or disabilities (second
layer of Figure 2) is consistent with previous research (Konrad, 2006; Lopez, et al., 2008; Scrogie,
118 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
Wilgosh & Sobsey, 2004). Similarly, that parents reported that their child’s illness-related
developmental and medical issues as negatively contributing to their experience, confirms the
findings in previous literature (Barnett et al., 2003), especially when children exhibited
intellectual, neurological, mental and behavioral problems (Baker et al., 2005; Einfeldet al., 2006;
Feldman et al., 2007; Gray et al., 2011; Lecavalier et al., 2006; Muscara et al., 2015; Nachshen, et
al., 2005). That parents reported significant stresses added to their parental experience by obtaining
a chronic caregiving role and the need for a whole family’s reorganization also confirms prior
literature about parents of children with chronic illnesses (Epifanio et al., 2013).
The finding of this study that parents of children with ASD (the third layer of Figure 2)
have higher stress levels than any other group of parents is consistent with previous literature
(Bonis, 2016; Ooi et al., 2016; Pisula, 2002). This research also confirmed findings in previous
studies that reported additional parental stresses related specifically to ASD diagnosis. These
include a diagnostic process that was lengthy and lacking clarity, lack of parental education
(Kozlowski et al., 2011) and post-ASD diagnosis challenges including ongoing symptoms (Davis
& Carter, 2008; Zwaigenbaum et al., 2005), loss of “normality” (Ruiz-Robledillo et al., 2014),
mourning the “ambiguous loss” of a child they will never have (O’Brien, 2007; Boss, 2007),
societal stigma and judgments (Kinnear et al., 2016), low level of societal support (Breevaart &
Baker, 2012), insufficient family support (Keenan et al., 2010; Coulthard & Fitgerald, 2007), and
lack of effective interventions for their families (Catalano et al., 2018). The experience of parenting
a child with ASD and all its unique stressors could be further exacerbated by socio-political factors.
Multiple marginalized positions such as being a member of an ethnic, racial or religious minority
group, experiencing disability or identifying as LGBTQ already bring about systemic and/or
institutionalized barriers to obtaining support and overall acceptance, and the intersection of them
119 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
with the stressors associated with parenting a child with ASD could potentially bring about even
more strain and challenge to securing resources, support and community.
The finding that parents of children with ASD experienced a multilayered and compounded
stress supports prior literature regarding other populations with multiple layers of stressors that
accumulate over time and are experienced as compounding stress or trauma; e.g., asylum seekers
(Sinnerbrink et al., 1997) and those experiencing multi-, sexual or domestic abuse (Edmund &
Bland, 2011). Expanding this lens of a multilayered and compounded stress and trauma to
examining experiences of parents of children with ASD is the contribution of this study.
Because there is no one theory that would explain the finding of complex multilayered
compounding stress experienced by parents of children with ASD, we applied the ecological
conceptual framework of multilevel theory (Dunn, Masyn et al., 2015) to the theory of stress
(Selye, 1956) and stress-related constructs. Conceptually, the multilevel theory examines one or
more systems that are often hierarchically nested within one another and may vary across historical
or developmental time (Dunn, Masyn et al., 2015). This framework presents the extension of
Bronfenbrenner’s (1979; 1986) ecological systems theory of human development, which examines
multiple layers of various interlocking social systems, but it was not utilized in the earlier studies
to explain experiences of various layered stresses in parents or any other groups. Bronfenbrenner’s
(1979; 1986) ideas are represented in Figure 2 by a succession of concentric circles that depict the
layers of stress that parents of children with ASD experience within themselves, while in
Bronfenbrenner’s model, there was a representation of the social systems people live in. This way,
the ecological multilevel theory as applied to this study provides the layered perspective of the
experiences of parents.
120 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
The stress theory that describes stress as the experience of people not having adequate
internal and external resources to meet environmental demands (Greene, Write, et al., 2019), as
applied to this study, offers the understanding of various stresses in parents’ lives as a
“choreographed” state of stressful events rather than a normative physiological state. The other
three stress-related concepts utilized here (allostatic stress load, stress proliferation, and circular
causality) together, address the compounding nature of the layered stresses.
The allostatic stress (over)load concept (Barker et al., 2014; McEwen, 2017) explains the
biological effect of piled-up stresses experienced by parents as measurable chronic stress, which
can even cause the post-traumatic stress syndrome (PTSS) that develops over time (Casey et al.,
2012).
Stress proliferation construct (Benson, 2006; Pearlin, et al., 1997; Ward, 2014), which is
defined as “the development or expansion of a stressor or set of stressors within and beyond a
situation, resulting in additional stressors that were not originally present” (Pearlin, Aneshensel,
& LeBlanc, 1997, p.223). Looking into the effect of stress proliferation construct in parents of
children with ASD (Benson & Karlof, 2009) as well as other marginalized populations (LeBlanc,
et al, 2015) is not new; and prior studies found that this construct is significant in heightening one’s
stress level and causing strains in one’s physical, mental health, and relationships. As applied here,
stress proliferation explains how the same type of stressor that is present in each layer of parental
experience (described in Figure 2) can be experienced as the add-on and compounding. E.g., the
finding that parents experience challenges with accessing needed resources and support exists at
each level of the parental journey. At the first level (of parents in general), the challenges with
accessing needed resources and support could be caused by financial strain during the transition
to parenthood. At the second level (of parents with children with chronic illness or disability),
121 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
these challenges are increased by additional causes, such as need for home-based services and lack
of professional support and communication between various providers. And, there is an even
greater stress for parents of children with ASD to access resources and support because the
symptoms of ASD are unpredictable, pervasive (and never “go away”), and they are stigmatized
by the general population. This potentiates the stress of accessing resources and support that was
already strained in the first place.
Circular causality principle (Lazarus & Folkman, 1986; Kelledy & Lyons, 2019) provides
an understanding of the non-linear relationships between various stressors and how some of the
effects of the stressors become stressors themselves. The construct of circular causality posits that
while all effects result from multiple causes, they in turn influence the causal pathways (Murray,
2006). It is best illustrated by the metaphor of a “hamster wheel,” or circular interactions of mutual
influence creating an interactional rather than cause-and-effect pattern (Kelledy & Lyons, 2019).
For example, as it applied to this study, frustrations related to communications with family or/and
professionals impact parents’ satisfaction with their role as a parent, which in turn, impacts their
marital relationships; and this causes more frustrations around parental roles. This way, effects of
processing stressors become stressors themselves, and stress load heightens and attains a
compounding quality.
The second finding that parents of children with ASD found benefits from their
parenthood experience supports the literature that reports parents of children with ASD may
experience improved well-being (Bayat 2007) and posttraumatic growth (Strecker et al., 2014;
Myers, et al., 2009; Samios et al., 2009). Specifically, prior studies describe change in parents’
beliefs and self-reflection, gaining greater patience, positive changes in their life, appreciation, and
a new philosophy of life (Zhang, Yan, et al., 2015; & Picoraio et al., 2014), as well as enriched
122 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
relationships and sense of support when they became advocates and helped others through their
parenthood journeys (Fleischmann, 2004). That all 16 parents manifested at least one domain of
PTG, and that more than a half of them manifested two or more domains of PTG, is a contribution
to existing knowledge about experiences of parents of children with ASD.
This finding of stress-related growth responses can be explained by the meaning making
model (Park et al., 2006; Park, 2010), which involves searching for why one is looking for a more
favorable understanding of the situation and its implications, even in the face of traumatic
experiences (Frankl, 1984; Neimeyer & Thompson, 2014), as well as by the PTG theory (Calhoun
& Tedeschi, 1996; 1998; 2004a; 2004b, 2006; & 2013), which provides the explanation of how
engagement with the traumatic event can cause growth. Similar growth and positive outcomes
have been reported in other populations with chronic and/or multiple traumas, e.g., patients with
cancer (Ochoa, Sanchez et al., 2019). These theories complement each other because the meaning
making model aims for the outcome of meaning making while the ruminations (that are the drivers
of meaning making) are not designated as making meaning in the PTG model. Using them together
combines the why and how.
The first stage in the process of PTG is a seismic/traumatic event that is felt as a “before”
and “after” experience. While this is exactly how parents describe the start of their journey of
parenting a child with ASD, their specific traumatic event differed for different parents. For some,
it was the diagnosis itself or some characteristics of the process leading to the diagnosis, e.g.
lengthy process or lack of clarity in finding out what is wrong, as well as ASD related behavior
and the societal stigma related to it. The moment of receiving a diagnosis of a life altering condition
being experienced as a traumatic event has been reported by people with various cancerous
conditions and has also been perceived as the beginning of the PTG process (Chan, et al, 2018).
123 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
For other parents, the meaning assigned by them to the diagnosis of ASD (rather than the moment
of diagnosis) became a traumatic event. For example, some parents attributed to the diagnosis of
ASD the meaning that their child may never be independent, be accepted or integrated into society,
and that was traumatizing. This is similar to findings regarding people with other chronic
conditions, that the meaning they assigned to the diagnosis was painful and traumatic rather than
the diagnosis itself. For example, for some patients who survive a stroke, understanding that the
diagnosis meant that they will “never again” walk, cook, and take care of their family and pets
becomes a seismic event (Garton et al., 2017; Samsa & Matchar, 2004).
For some other parents, the traumatic event was the manner in which the diagnosis was
delivered. It was traumatic for parents to experience lack of professionals’ empathy when
unfavorable future outcomes of their child’s diagnosis were delivered, as well as lack of validation
of their intuition and concerns prior to and during the process of the diagnosis, and lack of
empowerment about their role in their children’s development, and information about available
support. Similarly, the insensitive manner of delivery of the diagnosis in progressive or end-of-life
disease (Van Vliet & Epstein, 2014) or even in general practice or surgical specialty (Girgis &
Sanson-Fisher, 199) can be perceived as traumatic, both to the patients and their loved ones.
That all parents in this study found that the point of diagnosis was one of many points of
trauma, as they experienced different times of the parenthood journey as traumatic or as the
“hardest time,” explains the finding of “budding,” cascading, and evolving PTG, when each
“seismic event” triggered its own “independent” PTG process, as presented in Figure 3. Other
seismic/ traumatic events occurring during the parenthood journey that were identified in this
study: symptomatology of ASD and mental health comorbidities; societal stigma; lack of social
support; lack of professional support; and lack of life transition services. This way, parents are
124 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
continuously going through the comprehensive PTG model, and their automatic ruminations are
changing to reflective and more productive ones, and this process is never over, especially because
of the ever-evolving, “cascading,” PTG process in this population. Other populations with chronic
daily challenges, such as people with multiple sclerosis, are known to be involved in this type of
PTG-based process as well (Bogosian, Morgan and Moss-Morris, 2019).
In looking at the proposed cascading/ budding PTG process, it is useful to connect it with
McCubbin and Patterson’s (1982) proposed Double ABC-X theory which was an expansion of
the original ABC-X model by Hill (1958). The ABC-X and Double ABC-X models used in
family system theories are very useful to conceptualize the PTG model which represents a
reflection of the process that people are going through while the ABC-X and Double ABC-X
models represent a list of ingredients that lead to crisis in families or protect the family from the
crisis. The ABC-X formula used by Hill (1958) was originally designed to assess the proneness
to crisis in families that experience the "crisis-precipitating event" and included family crisis-
meeting resources, and families meaning making of the crisis precipitating event. In the Double
ABC-X formula proposed by McCubbin and Patterson (1982), they added to the model another
ingredient which was the post-crisis situation and the coping strategies that families employed.
By doing that, McCubbin and Patterson contributed to the family crisis theory by introducing not
only the pre-crisis and crisis stage of family's affairs, but also the post-crisis evaluation. Among
the post crisis variables, McCubbin and Patterson introduced "pile-up" of stressors from five
sources: the initial stressor, the hardships from initial stressor that persisted over time, the
transitions, the consequences of coping efforts, and the ambiguity within the family as well as in
the society. In terms of understanding the cascading PTG phenomenon as it fits into the Double
ABC-X model (McCubbin & Patterson, 1982), the cascading PTG phenomenon provides the
125 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
explanation for new resources that parents and families get while getting through the process of
struggle with stressors of being a parent of a child with ASD.
Figure 3 Evolving/ “Budding” / “Cascading” PTG in Parents of Children with ASD
Note. Parenthood journey for parents rearing children with ASD includes multiple traumatic/ seismic events occurring throughout the journey, such as:
● Lengthy & vague diagnostic process; ● Established ASD diagnosis ● Meaning assigned to ASD diagnosis ● Miscommunications from professionals about the ASD diagnosis ● ASD symptomatology, especially communication deficits and inappropriate
behaviors ● Societal stigma ● Lack of social support ● Lack of professional support ● Lack of life transition services
The finding that the proximate socio-cultural factor of perceived presence of social support
from peers, other parents of children with ASD, family, friends and professionals facilitates PTG
agrees with the PTG model and confirms previous literature about this population (Zhang, et al.,
2015). However, that more than half of the participants reported having experienced PTG despite
126 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
the lack of social support and despite dissatisfaction with professional support throughout their
parenting journeys adds new knowledge about the relationship of the social support and the PTG
process in parents of children with ASD. Previous literature (Schroevers et al., 2010; Xuji et al.,
2017) suggested that higher PTG score is dependent on a higher level of social support, and this
was supported by the current study. The duality of the relationship of social and other supports
with PTG that was discovered in this study suggests that although existence of social support
facilitates PTG process, lack of such social support and various professional supports represents a
significant stress, which calls for action and for restructuring parental world assumptions, and thus
can be considered a new seismic event that starts a new “budding” PTG process. Also, the finding
that building a supportive community around the parents of children with ASD as a part of the
ASD family unit rather than separate individuals, contributed positively to parents’ coping. It
helped parents break through isolation and find joy in joining the often-stigmatized behaviors of
their children. All this is a contribution to current knowledge about PTG in families of children
with ASD.
The finding that distal sociocultural influences helped parents to manage emotional distress
or/and caused redirection of ruminations into deliberate reflective constructive ones, and resulted
in revisions in parents’ narratives and schemas, supports other literature about socio-cultural
influences on parents of children with ASD diagnosis (Zuckerman, Sinche et al., 2014). Distal
sociocultural influences included societal, ethnic, and religious cultural themes, and were different
for different parents. E.g., a Peruvian who lives in Japan reported that societal cultural themes of
both her foreign and native cultures affected her wellbeing and peace of mind in both negative and
positive ways. Another parent, an Orthodox Jewish woman, experienced ethnic religious cultural
influences in the form of acceptance of her child as a God’s will. This supports findings of strong
127 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
religious beliefs and coping with trauma and PTG in other populations (Bryant-Davis & Wong,
2013).
The finding that parents experienced at least one of the five PTG domains support the PTG
model (Tedeschi & Calhoun, 2004, 2006). The domain appreciation of life may explain the finding
that parents developed a new philosophy about what is most important and changed priorities with
greater focus on understanding their child and the child’s wellbeing and happiness rather than
social status, career, and how things “should be.”
This finding agrees with prior findings of appreciation of life in parents of children with
ASD (Manning, et al., 2010; Ekas, et al., 2010; Safe, et al., 2012). That parents of children with
ASD are deeply devoted to their children supports similar prior findings (Wayment, et al., 2019);
however that parents were so deeply integrated with their children with ASD to the degree that
that they were not able to distinguish between the children and themselves, adds to prior
knowledge. It seems that the parent-child dyad (not the parent as the individual) enters into the
PTG process, as changes in parents’ philosophy of life are always filtered through the needs of the
child.
Relating to others was manifested in several ways. First, by parents’ sharing a deep
connection with their child by “joining” children in their world, rather than pushing and pulling to
get the child into the parent’s world, and supporting them in a unique, collaborative, way. Second,
parents’ increased compassion and relatedness to their children and to other parents’ struggle with
familiar stresses. Third, parents of children with ASD experienced improved relationships with
their extended family members and other people. The findings that parents “assimilated” in their
child’s world in service of their child’s needs to be understood by someone is a new addition to
the knowledge about experiences of parents of children with ASD. It seems like this assimilation
128 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
in the child’s world was happening without full recognition by parents of them voluntarily isolating
themselves from the rest of society, and sometimes even from their spouses, other children, and
family members, as this was the only way to stay in the child’s world and to be the social conduit
of nurture and wellness for the child.
The domain of personal strength was manifested in parents’ changing their perception of
self and reporting gaining the freedom to be oneself as well as uncovering strengths they did not
know they possessed and gaining wisdom, including the wisdom about obtaining needed support.
This supports similar findings in existing literature about this population (Mancil et al., 2009) and
other populations, e.g., disabled war veterans (Aflakseir, 2010) that seeking various supports
boosts one’s strength in coping with traumatic experiences.
Parents’ personal strength became clear to them only throughout their parenthood journey,
which in turn allowed them to appreciate other transformations in their life. It can be explained by
the developmental nature of PTG, which Calhoun and Tedeschi described as not only an outcome,
but also a process (Joseph, 2019). Achieving growth in one domain of PTG may open the door for
further growth and development in other areas of growth.
The finding that parents were eagerly undertaking new paths in life, involving themselves
in new careers and leadership supports previous literature about manifestations of the PTG domain
of new possibilities. The finding that parents found new careers in servicing the ASD community
and become effective advocates for the whole ASD world, as they know it inside-out, supports
similar prior literature (Boshoff, et al., 2018; Ewles, Clifford & Minnes, 2014). That people
embark on a new life path after a traumatic event or exposure, manifesting the PTG domain of new
possibilities was documented following other traumatic events such as losing a parent or a child,
bereavement by suicide, parenting a child with a disability or with Down Syndrome (Counselman-
129 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
Carpenter, 2017; Fazio & Fazio, 2005; Konrad, 2006; Smith, Joseph, & Das Nair, 2011; Talbot,
1998).
Parents also exhibited new ways of being by expressing creative ideas for improving the
lives of families in the ASD world, sharing their wisdom of dealing with the challenges presented
by the child’s ASD diagnosis with parents whose children are still young and those who are just
starting their parenthood journeys. This can be seen as manifestation of multiple domains of PTG,
such as relating to others, appreciation of life and finding new possibilities. The finding of various
ideas that parents had of how to improve lives of families in the ASD world can also be supported
by Calhoun and Tedeschi’s (2006a, 2012) proposal about expert companionship. While Calhoun
and Tedeschi (2006a, 2012) discuss expert companionship by professionals in trauma therapy
settings, the parents in this study showed the will and readiness to become expert companions to
other parents and families living in the ASD world. This is an expansion of this concept to expert
companionship by parents of children with ASD.
The finding that parents experienced a deepened sense of spirituality and faith, an increased
sense of importance of spiritual matters, faith and belief in God as supportive, belief in their child
being an expression of God’s will, fitting what has happened into held beliefs, faith in
professionals, the belief that parent was chosen to experience this journey, are all manifestations
of the PTG domain of spiritual growth. This supports prior findings that parents of children with
ASD manifesting this domain of PTG (Ekas, Whitman, Shivers, 2009; Ellis, 2018). Prior research
has shown that religion and spirituality play important roles in the quality of people’s lives, their
coping and search for meaning following traumatic life events; e.g. Arnoldo, Hunt et al. (2006)
described survivors of burn injuries who acknowledged the importance of religion and spirituality
130 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
in their treatment, and endorsed the request for professionals to address religion and spirituality in
their interactions.
The finding that the PTG domain of “relating to others” manifested in all parents
participating in the study, while other domains did not (e.g. the domain of spiritual growth was
reported by 50% of study participants) is a contribution to the knowledge about parents rearing
children with ASD, as well as to expression of PTG in this population. Most likely, the domain of
relating to others served as an access to growth in all other domains, possibly because the most
cognitive PTG work that study participants needed to do was in the area of relating to others: their
children, their spouses, medical professionals, extended family and friends. It is also possible that
what children with ASD were lacking, the relating to others part of their being, was developed by
the parents, and it served a dual role; i.e. lending their children the ability to relate (parallel to
landing the ego in psychotherapeutic work), and enabling access to growth in other areas of life.
This can be theoretically explained by combining the PTG framework with the Parent
Development Theory (PDT) (Mowder, 2005), which looks at parents as a part of the parent-child
duo, where the parent part of the duo adjusts to the needs of the children part of the duo, while
being involved in the PTG process.
That study participants perceived the study itself as a benefit can be compared to other
accounts of finding the benefit from oral or written disclosure of traumatic experiences through
creative writing (Hussain, 2010) and various talking therapies (Beck, 1976), as well as finding
emotional satisfaction from “being heard” through participating in research (Berger & Malkinson,
2000). That parents expressed their satisfaction with the study as a benefit, source of awareness of
their own wellbeing, and perception that study itself was a healing and enlightening process – is
an addition to this area of research. Because suppression or denial of emotional processing, oral or
131 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
written, have negative effects on physical and mental health (Wegner & Pennebaker, 1993), most
of the forms of psychotherapy include talking about emotional experiences as important for healing
(Beck, 1976). Theoretically, these findings can be explained by the PTG theory, specifically
related to the domain of appreciation of life (Calhoun & Tedeschi, 2014).
The findings that parents’ positive comments about the study process itself provides a rich
understanding about the motivations of parents who participated in the study and their hopes for
where the findings of the further research will be most useful. The interview process prompted
parents to gain insights about their own strengths and their own importance in their family and
children’s lives. It also allowed them to reflect on this and appreciate the peace of mind that their
parenthood experience brought to their lives.
To some parents, it was a matter of therapeutic healing to share their story and have it
memorialized through this study; for others it was a matter of duty and service to the community
of parents that are going through the same journey; and to some, it was an exercise of full self-
expression on behalf of ASD world. This speaks to Calhoun & Tedeschi’s (2006) assertion that
PTG is not only an outcome of the struggle with traumatic experiences, but it is also a
developmental process that keeps on evolving, and this study is a testament to this process.
The finding related to ways of coping in parents of children with ASD supports available
knowledge about the way parents of children with ASD cope (Mancil et al., 2009; Ventola, et al.,
2018), and adds new knowledge about the family’s ways of coping as the “ASD family unit,”
which include the new collaborative parenting style employed by parents, the dynamic parenting
roles and decisions, and siblings as collaborators and caretakers. This study also confirmed reports
that parents of children with ASD utilize problem focused and emotion focused coping strategies
(Vernhet et al., 2018) and supports the existing view of emotion focused coping strategies as
132 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
ineffective, while challenging some previous literature that framed the problem focused strategies
as mostly effective (Miranda, et al., 2019). This study provided new information that problem
focused coping strategies could be both effective and ineffective. For example, some parents
utilized problem focused strategies for coping, as if ASD could be fixed or eradicated somehow if
a certain strategy was implemented when in fact, ASD is not a state that “goes away,” leaving
parents still facing the same problems and stressors, perhaps even larger than the ones they faced
before. Therefore, implementing problem focused strategies for that purpose is ineffective as
parents see it.
This study also contributed new knowledge that parents of children with ASD used other
types of coping not previously mentioned in existing literature, such as biology focused coping,
aimed at stress management techniques with the intention of changing the body’s response
(Wilson, 2010). These include specifically mindfulness practices, meditation, and physical
activities. Utilization of biology focused coping can be viewed as parents looking for and finding
ways to self-regulate through the mind-body approach, while their life is consumed by their child’s
care and various multilayered stresses that cause a lot of daily anxieties. This can be seen through
the lens of the theory of affect regulation/ self-regulation (Schore, 1994), which posits that the
modern theory of attachment is in essence a regulation theory, because attachment represents a
“mutually enriching dialogue […] between the biological and psychological realms” (Schore, 2000
p. 24). As main caregivers and life partners for their children, these parents are able to lend their
self-regulated body ego to their children as suggested by psychodynamic treatment models
(Dewald, 1994; Misch, 2000).
That parents accumulated parenting roles as their children grew older, and not just changed
their roles (from being a caretaker to a playmate, then mentor, then guide and expert companion)
133 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
can be explained by Parent Development Theory (PDT), a theoretical framework that examines
parental roles including the important social role which parents play, and parent development
(Mowder, 2005). PDT looks at the parent role as primarily an individual creation that is based on
one’s prior experiences (in communication with the child and the outside world regarding the
child) and their expertise and knowledge about what works and what does not. Parent’s own
development and coping with stressors that they face are changing constantly with whatever
ongoing child care demands and whatever ongoing new knowledge they obtain. Parental roles
change over time for all parents, proceeding from the caretaker to a mentor, and a guide. While
parents of children with ASD continue to be caretakers and guides, they become also experts in
the child’s condition and expert companion.
This study also adds new knowledge to existing parenting styles, which are defined as a
“constellation of [parent’s] attitudes toward the child that … create an emotional climate in which
the parent’s behaviors are expressed” (Darling and Steinberg, 1993, p. 488). In addition to the
known authoritative, authoritarian, indulgent/permissive, and uninvolved/neglectful parenting
styles (APA, 2020; Bi et al., 2018), parents in this study exhibited a new “collaborative” parenting
style characterized by full immersion and joining in their child’s life. This style is based on
parents’ empathic and understanding stance, and willingness to isolate from others, in service of
their child, while providing a voice and being an advocate for their child in addition to traditional
parenting roles. This study also brought to light the universality of coping of parents of children
with ASD, in terms of all parents developing this new, collaborative, parenting style. And, unlike
other parents who expect reciprocity from their child, these parents offer their collaboration
unconditionally.
134 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
The findings of a new, “collaborative,” parenting style can be explained by both PDT and
the family life cycle theory of social work (McGoldrick & Shibusawa, 2012). The latter asserts
that transitions through the family life cycle include re-aligning relationships and redefining roles
within the family, which might create perceived crisis, because these changes deviate from what
society sees as a norm, but for these parents, it is an expression of their way of coping with the
special needs of their child.
Parents of children with ASD develop a coping strategy of becoming an expert, the chief-
operating officer, in their child’s care. For example, during the post-ASD diagnosis period, the
parents rather than the professionals were figuring out their child’s diet and making decisions
regarding use of medication for symptoms. This provided comfort, value and peace of mind for
parents’ coping, as they knew their child in and out. This way of coping can also be viewed
through the lens of PDT, which supports the view that parental roles are evolving as the needs for
parent-child relationships change.
The current study supported previous research that professional and peer support that these
parents receive are significant factors contributing to parents’ ability to cope well (Atkin & Ahmad,
2000; Canary, 2008). This study also offers new information about additional support factors that
were perceived by parents as contributing to their coping, which included being able to choose for
their children with ASD interventions that they viewed as effective (including alternative approach
programs like Son-Rise); and being offered family-focused interventions rather than just
interventions for individual children and parents.
The finding that various supports (social, professional and others) contributed to the coping
of parents can be explained by PDT, which looks at parenting development as a dynamic process
existing within a parent-child dyad. Although PTG theory incorporates various supports as
135 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
proximal influences within the Comprehensive PTG model, this model was originally proposed
by Calhoun and Tedeschi (1999, 2004, 2006) for illustrating the PTG process only in individuals,
then later, it was extrapolated to families too (Berger & Weiss, 2009). In the meantime, PTG on
the dyadic level was explored in populations such as couples (Lim, 2018) and combat veterans and
their siblings (Zerach, 2020), but not in dyads of parents and children.
That similarities existed in the coping and factors related to it of parents from different
ethnic/ cultural backgrounds (American Asian/ Chinese, Italian, Russian, Jewish, Scottish/Irish;
and Japanese) speaks to universality of the ways parents of children with ASD cope. The PDT
perspective would explain this universality because the parent/child development, as it relates to
rearing children with ASD, is influenced more by the needs of the child with ASD that trigger
changes in the parental roles, and it is universal for every culture because ASD is a
neurodevelopmental disorder with unique set of child-related factors.
Implications of Findings
The findings of this study offer implications for social work theory, practice, policy,
professional education and future research. Due to the limitation of a non-diverse sample, all
implications can only be limited to parents who are similar to those that opted to participate in this
study, and therefore, it is unknown if it applies to other diverse populations of parents.
Implications for Social Work Theory
Findings from this study offer three ideas for social work theory related to the multilayered
compounding stress experience of parents rearing children with ASD; expression of all domains
of PTG in parents of children with ASD as well as cascading and developmental nature of PTG;
and the use of unique coping mechanisms by parents of children with ASD, including developing
their own collaborative parenting styles and developing the “ASD family unit.” All three findings
136 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
can be conceptualized through the ecological framework of various theories that involve traumatic
stress and its vicissitudes, including Comprehensive PTG model, as well as the theories that focus
on families and systems. There’s no one theory that would encompass this approach, but these
findings have potential to enrich multiple existing theories utilized by social work.
To illustrate, this study expands the multilevel theory conceptual framework to integrate
the circular causality, stress proliferation, and allostatic load concepts in order to explain the
compounding nature of the nested stress experiences and the non-linear relationships between
stressors within each layer and between the layers (Hepworth et al., 2009) as well as the effects of
the stressors becoming the stressors themselves (Kelledy & Lyons, 2019). Utilizing the concept of
circular causality together with the multilevel theory aids in understanding the complexity of these
relationships, which vary across time (e.g. developmental, historical or intergenerational time),
and the perception of the parents’ experiences as a compounded stress (Barker et al., 2014).
Similarly, this study’s finding of multilayered compounding stress experience is a
contribution to the social system theory (Parsons, 1951) as it introduces the multilayered structure
and the compounding nature of the interconnected experience of Parsons’s (1951) “action units.”
This finding is a contribution to the modern social system theory (Lee & Brosziewski, 2009),
which assumed that meaning making is available only in light of self-reference, by offering to look
at the interrelationship of meaning, observation and communication between the layers of
experience of each person (parent), and within the milieu of society and culture. For example,
these parents did not have any point of self-reference in regard to dealing with ASD, from the
beginning of their journey (pre-diagnosis), and the self-reference based meaning making changed
as these parents went through all the stages of parenthood as their children with ASD grew to
adulthood.
137 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
The findings of the multilayered experience have an implication for parental role
development theory (PRDT) (Galinsky, 1987; Ryder & Decker, 2015). This theory posits that
parents develop as they take on various parental tasks which depend on the chronological age of
their child, “graduating” from one role to another: from image-making to nurturing, to authority,
to interpretive, to interdependent, to departure. The finding that parents continued to add parental
roles, as their children grew, instead of graduating from one role to another, and that they were
“piling up” those roles, with all responsibilities that these roles imply – expands the PRDT, as it
applies to this population, and possibly to other populations of parents who care for children with
other developmental or/and multiple chronic medical or/and mental health conditions.
The findings that parents of children with ASD have potential for PTG and find benefits in
all five domains of PTG support prior knowledge related to social development theory (Midgley
& Conley, 2010), which is focusing on personal growth and strength, rather than deficiency or
pathology. The findings of this study show that although the medical world looks at parents
through the lens of pathology of their children, i.e. ASD, these parents pioneered new ways of
being and finding joy in it, despite the pathology. The contribution of this study is that social
development theory can be extended to all adverse populations, including caregivers, parents, and
families, and not only applied to people immediately affected by the disorder (ASD).
The findings that all the parents in this study reported PTG in at least one domain suggests
the high rate of PTG in this population, despite the original assertion of PTG theory (Calhoun &
Tedeschi, 2013) about not expecting that everyone who deals with trauma will experience PTG.
This agrees with other studies finding that there is a moderate-to-high rate of PTG in diverse
population groups, such as those experiencing various medical conditions, accidents, or having
stressful professions (Wu, et al., 2019).
138 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
This finding also suggests that multiple traumatic/seismic events can start multiple PTG
processes in one individual. E.g., in this study, the multiple traumatic events identified in the
findings chapter triggered the development of PTG that can be seen as a budding, cascading,
exponentially multiplying process (as depicted in Figure 3) that is multilayered, evolving and
dynamic, rather than a linear static one portrayed in the comprehensive PTG model (Calhoun &
Tedeschi, 2006). Although some PTG research alluded to a potential recursive nature of PTG in
some groups of people (e.g. older adults), it did not conceptualize how this process occurs
(Calhoun & Tedeschi, 2004; Tedeschi, Calhoun, & Groleau, 2015).
The finding that the journey of parenthood and rearing a child with ASD presents in
addition to many difficult and traumatic times, experiences of personal growth and benefits,
expands the trauma theories (Briere & Scott, 2014; Felitti, 2002; Herman, 1992; Ogden et al.,
2006; SAMHSA, 2015; Tedeschi & Calhoun, 2004), which were originally focused mostly on
disruptive and negative consequences of trauma: “Traumatization occurs when both internal and
external resources are inadequate to cope with external threat” (van der Kolk, 1989, p. 393). So,
the second finding of this study further reinforces the duality of trauma, which despite the multiple
complex traumatic experiences, includes also positive outcomes, particularly PTG.
The findings of the new ways of coping and even developing a new (collaborative)
parenting style and developing an “ASD family unit” expand and refine theories of coping
(Folkman, 1997; Lazarus & Folkman, 1984; Lazarus, 1990), adjustment (Nilsson, 2007), the
family systems (McCubbin, Thompson, & McCubbin, 1996), as well as the family life cycle theory
(Carter & McGoldrick, 1980).
The finding that parents of children with ASD form a unique ASD family unit contributes
to the family life cycle theory by bringing the understanding that the family (not just each
139 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
individual parent) experiences the family life cycle stages not as sequential, but as collapsing onto
one another, and that parents are taking unusual coping measures, including the collaborative
parenting style, as well as role of expert peer companions for their children diagnosed with ASD.
The finding that ASD family unit members also experience the PTG process, with multiple points
of traumatic experience for each of them, and that this phenomenon potentiates the development
of PTG – is also a contribution to the above theories.
The findings that parents of children with ASD utilized the biology-based practices and
interventions and that they were considered effective by parents not only for affect- and self-
regulation of the parents, but also for improvement of the whole family functioning and self-
regulation/ behavioral improvement of their children with ASD – is a contribution to the modern
theory of attachment/ affect regulation (Schore, 1994, 2000), because of this connection of parents’
self-regulation with their children’s ability to self-regulate.
Implications for Social Work Practice
This study suggests implications for social work practice in clinical and educational
settings, specifically offering services for families with children diagnosed with ASD and trauma-
sensitive practice.
Clinical Social Work Practice for Families with Children with ASD and Trauma-
Sensitive Practice. The findings that parents expressed dissatisfaction with the diagnostic process
and service provision before, during and after the diagnosis of ASD, namely their concerns and
“gut feelings” intuition not being validated, as well as them not being effectively involved in the
planning of treatment after the diagnosis, not being informed about their child’s future and
capabilities, and professionals not being experienced in “breaking bad news” empathically,
prompts numerous suggestions for the state of clinical practice. For example, psychoeducation by
140 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
social workers of other professionals who work in the ASD setting should focus on all the above
issues. That parents of children with ASD experienced communication with medical professionals
as being exhausting and insensitive, and physicians showing mostly “technical” proficiency about
the diagnosis rather than communication skills, and often neglecting patients’ emotional
psychological stress and suffering (Rabow & McPhee, 1999), prompts the suggestion that social
workers should provide consultation to medical professionals about communication skills of
“breaking bad news” (Vandekieft, 2001, p. 1975), facilitating prompt and effective treatment
planning and follow-ups with parents, as well as promoting effective communication strategies
with parents pre-, during, and post- diagnosis. These should include training practitioners to be
empathic listeners and to be compassionate, trusting parents’ intuition, and exploring parents’
concerns and instincts about their child.
Parents also need to have better involvement in decision making regarding ASD treatment
and services. They should be provided with information about early ASD symptomatology, the
diagnostic process, prognosis, treatment options, and goals associated with their child’s care and
family support. Within this scope of information, there should be an understanding of the potential
positive outcomes of parents’ struggle with their very negative experiences, as well as resilience
and PTG (Calhoun & Tedeschi, 2006; Luthar, 2006). The finding that parents of children with
ASD are not adequately informed about available policies and resources suggests that social
workers need to be educated themselves, and then educate other professionals of interdisciplinary
teams, as well as educate the families of children with ASD about what resources and policies are
available.
The finding that all parents of children with ASD experienced growth in at least one or all
domains of PTG suggest that professionals working this population group should be trained to
141 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
identify what is going well for the parent, the child, and the family, recognize any positive
outcomes of traumatic experiences of these parents, including manifestations of all PTG domains.
Social workers should become familiar with the Comprehensive PTG Model (Calhoun &
Tedeschi, 2004; 2006) and all the parts and stages of PTG process, so they could recognize the
signs of PTG. Also, the finding that PTG in parents of children with ASD evolves over time as a
multilayered “cascading” developmental process contributes to social work practice by providing
a more complete understanding of how to approach work with clients and families of children with
ASD. Social workers should be trained in facilitation and fostering PTG by utilizing cognitive,
narrative, and existentially based interventions (Calhoun & Tedeschi, 2006), as this may inform
the provision of effective support of parents’ self-agency, hope, guidance, encouragement, and
empowerment to families of children with ASD, as well as help create new meaning of their
traumatic experience. This ability to facilitate and foster PTG will allow social workers to become
expert companions who work in tandem with parents of children with ASD, focusing on benefit
and growth finding in people who struggle with traumatic experiences in addition to traditional
trauma sensitive practice techniques of exposure and desensitization (Calhoun & Tedeschi, 2006).
It is not a new way of therapy; it is a lens that can be used with any intervention, especially
cognitive, existential, and narrative treatments.
The finding that parents of children with ASD utilize unique coping strategies including a
new, collaborative, parenting style, suggests that social workers that work with families affected
by ASD, should know and educate other clinicians about these coping strategies. This may benefit
children with ASD and their families, creating collaborative communications and partnerships
between parents and the professional community, potentially improving quality of care and
satisfaction with services provided to them.
142 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
Identifying the signs of PTG, its facilitation, expert companionship, and new ways of
coping needs to be also brought to the trauma-sensitive practice setting, where it can be useful in
working with other populations with chronic multilayered traumatic stress experiences, as PTG is
always a potential outcome of a struggle with traumatic experiences. This will provide a positive
impact on the lives of disadvantaged traumatized individuals and families and support them
alongside their journey.
The finding that professionals who work in interdisciplinary teams that service parents and
families rearing children with ASD are not aware of the kinds of potential stressors associated with
the developmental journey of children with ASD, as well as the multilayered compounding
stressors imposed on parents, and the potential negative and positive outcomes for parents during
this journey, prompts the suggestion that social workers in these practices provide
psychoeducation to teams and individual providers about the these topics. Social workers must
keep in mind and educate others that even if the parent initially presents with stress, negative
thinking and hopelessness, with time, they may exhibit the signs of any and all the domains of
PTG. Also, while the current literature suggests that for parents of children with ASD, the
diagnosis is mostly traumatic (Keenan, et al., 2010; Waizbard-Bartov et al., 2019), this study’s
finding that for several parents, the point of diagnosis was perceived as helpful and even served as
a validation for their concerns about their child long before receiving a diagnosis, implies that
social workers need to expand their understanding of experiences of parents of children with ASD
and suspend assumptions about what is or is not traumatic to them.
The finding that parents wished they had known that things would turn out okay, which
would have contributed to their journey being less impacted by ambiguous loss, stress and anxiety
about future outcomes, provides social workers with positive information that they can offer to
143 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
parents who are in earlier stages of parenting. Providing psychoeducation to parents of children
with ASD will help social workers to normalize parents’ experiences, especially in breaking down
assumptions of what “should be” expected, thus decreasing their stress and empowering parents,
as was shown by some other studies (Parta, Arun, Chava, 2015). Social workers should also
provide psychoeducation to other professionals about the potential for positive outlook later in the
process of parenthood journey.
The finding that parents were not satisfied with interventions for their children with ASD
that emphasize their child’s delays and limitations and focusing on remediating behaviors (Applied
Behavioral Analysis, physical therapy, speech and language service and occupational therapy
services), social workers should utilize modalities with children with ASD based on promoting
social skills and connection with others, and the bridging of the children’s internal world with the
world around them. This supports both the child’s positive outcome and positive outcomes for the
family. Such programs and interventions include Developmental, Individual-difference and
Relationship-based “DIRFloortime” Model (Casenhiser et al., 2015; Greenspan & Wieder, 2007),
and Relationship Development Intervention (RDI) (Gutstein, 2002; 2009).
The finding that most parents of children with ASD were not satisfied because of lack of
interventions that focus on the families or family members prompt the proposal for social workers
to utilize interventions for parents, which are available, but sometimes labeled as “alternative” or
“controversial” (Kurtz, 2008), although they are often chosen by parents themselves because of
their effectiveness. These interventions include complementary medicine, mindfulness practice,
self-regulation/ biological interventions, and psychoeducation for parents. Social workers need to
be aware that these “alternative” interventions for parents are mostly focused on self-regulation
and potentially can achieve a double benefit because by getting a handle on their own self-
144 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
regulation, parents can guide their children to self-regulate (Beer, et al., 2013; Ferraioli & Harris,
2012; Singh, et al., 2014).
The finding that families of children with ASD developed a unique “ASD family unit”
suggests that social workers should be facilitating family unit-based practices that are supported
by parents, like the Son-Rise Program (Kaufman & Kaufman, 1995), in opposed to the current
state when interventions are mostly problem-focused or individual-focused, and they address the
child’s pathology only (Dillenburger & Keenan, 2009). These family-oriented interventions may
improve the family’s functioning while improving the child’s behaviors, because as social workers
support parents, they inadvertently support the child. The finding that parents became expert
companions for their child’s development, and knew which modalities worked for their child and
which did not, suggests that for social workers who work with families raising children with ASD
to utilize this expert companion function of the parent to improve the child’s outcomes and the
family’s functioning.
Educational Services for Families with Children with ASD. That parents were
dissatisfied with services in educational settings, mostly because of poor communication between
school staff and parents, lack of education professionals’ knowledge about the IEP process and the
transition services for their children with ASD, as well as poor involvement of parents in decision
making related to their children’s educational needs and care, suggests various implications for
social workers in educational settings. Social workers should implement effective approaches in
mediating communication between school staff and parents, utilizing their knowledge about the
unique needs of children diagnosed with ASD and their families. Social workers in schools and
higher education should assist parents with obtaining specialized and tailored services for their
145 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
children and with advocating for changing policies and laws that do not serve the ASD-affected
population well.
Social workers should serve as advocates and provide support for parents and their children
with ASD in improving existing services for children with ASD, as the IEP process can be lengthy,
vague and stressful. The finding that the IEP process is not functional and mostly bureaucratic,
and the complaints of parents that professionals who are involved in it are not equipped to
powerfully collaborate and deliver on addressing concerns regarding their child’s development
and behaviors prompts the suggestion that social workers should initiate mandatory
interdisciplinary IEP trainings, oversight teams, and task force, aiming to address each child’s
individual needs and their unique set of social and sensory developmental issues. Other actions
social workers can take include involving parents in the IEP process, providing guidance for
parents regarding the paperwork, advocacy during the IEP process and follow up before and after
the IEP meetings; providing education for parents about their child’s goals and the variety of
eligible accommodations the child can benefit from.
Implications for Social Work Policy
None of the recommendations developed since the mid-2000’s by task forces and networks
at the federal and state levels to address the issues of ASD community (ADDM; CDC, 2019a;
NYS Interagency Task Force on Autism; Report to Congress 2016: high-priority evidence gaps
for clinical preventive services, and others) are implemented and required nationwide. E.g., 2020
Pennsylvania Autism Task Force Report lists “five major solutions that cut across all of the [ASD-
related policy] themes, and would dramatically improve the organization, financing and delivery
of services to people with autism in Pennsylvania” (Executive Summary, para 5), but nothing yet
had been acted upon. Some of their suggestions are valuable, and possibly they need to be brought
146 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
to inter-agency discussion nationally, such as making services for adults with ASD an entitlement,
coordination of funding across agencies based on policy decisions, “creating incentives to ensure
that different care plans were tied together into a single, coherent plan” (Theme Four, Solutions,
para 1).
It is important to establish policies related to the promotion of psychoeducation in social
work in education and clinical settings. Such policies can have a positive impact on parents’ life
by decreasing parental stress related to stigma and the unknown, which negatively impacts the
well-being of parents and their mental health (Papadopoulos et al., 2019). Available programs like
“Learn the signs. Act early” that are effective in improving developmental surveillance by
increasing parents’ awareness of the developmental milestones (Gadomski, et al., 2018) are widely
under-utilized (Chhatwani & Sivaraman, 2016), possibly because this program is only web based
and its accessibility depends on one’s fair technological literacy. This prompts the suggestion that
psychoeducation available to parents and families should be promoted by the early intervention
and pediatric providers, in addition to referring parents to the web-based programs, and that there
is a need of developing new programs about ASD awareness that are more accessible for all
parents, even if they are technically or linguistically challenged.
The finding that most parents reported that medical and para-medical professionals, and
educators who work with children with ASD and their families lack substantial knowledge about
day-to-day issues that families with children with ASD face prompt the social workers to establish
policies that include proactive care initiatives to address these issues. These initiatives could
include mandating nationwide training and certifications of medical and mental healthcare
professionals and educators, and focus on accountability and effective interventions that would
147 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
address sensory, behavioral, and relational challenges, as well as home-based services for the child
and the family.
The finding that parents were not satisfied with ASD service provision in school and
medical settings because their child’s needs were not adequately met or addressed, suggests that
social workers need to get involved in both the development of new policies and strategies to
improve the utilization of existing services for families of children with ASD. The finding that
parents were dissatisfied with not being engaged by professionals in interventions, decision
making, and they were not targeted for any family-based interventions prompt the suggestion that
social workers should advocate for policies mandating comprehensive services for parents raising
children with ASD and their children as one ASD family unit, to address the needs of the whole
family. The policies should be implemented to include the recommendation of ASD task force
addressing competency around factors/stressors/effective interventions for families of children
with ASD, as well as policies regarding mandatory services for children with ASD, their parents,
and immediate family, as they play integral role in integrating their children with ASD into the
general community. E.g., one of the forms of such mandatory service offerings could be the respite
care, which is known to improve mental and physical functioning of parents, even if given for one
hour a day (Dyches et al., 2016). This is supported by high effectiveness of respite care reported
in other settings, such as caretakers for people with dementia (Vandepitte et al., 2016).
Social workers should educate the professionals in various educational and medical settings
about existing disability laws that are not faithfully carried out in these settings. For example,
under the Individuals with Disability Education Act (IDEA) (P.L. 105-117), the Individualized
Education Plan (IEP) is established and is most significant for children with ASD because the
services provided must address the unique needs of a child and not place them in a program that
148 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
is already established for all children with special needs. Despite the law stating the rules of
provisions of service, the gap between the rules and their implementation is significant, as
evidenced by research (National Research Council, 2001) and by the findings of this study;
wherein parents engaged in lawsuits and legal avenues to obtain rightful education and services
for their child. In addition to the IDEA, the Americans with Disabilities Act (P.L. 101-336) and
section 504 of the Rehabilitation Act (29 U.S.C., Sec. 794) are supposed to protect against
discrimination of individuals with ASD and other disabilities.
The finding that higher level of parents’ stress and despair was related to discrimination of
their children in school setting (use of restrains and isolation) suggests that social workers in each
school setting take it upon themselves to ensure that the federal laws are translating into each
school’s rules of operation in regards to children with ASD and other disabilities. A system of
accountability, and checks and balances in schools and clinical settings must be implemented on
all levels of staff, from administrative to clinical and supportive staff, so that the IDEA becomes a
critical component of the professional hands-on procedures rather than conceptual in nature.
The finding that families with children with ASD have experienced significant difficulties
accessing existing services suggest that social workers should advocate for policies promoting
justice and equality around access to care, such as the establishment of a Medicaid Waiver that
offer the flexibility to provide services for vulnerable populations which are outside the traditional
scope of care. Another example of such policies is targeting the quality of care for people with
ASD by offering incentives for providers who deliver high quality care. One of the components of
this model includes contracts with providers based on performance, access to and quality of care,
and patient satisfaction (PA Bureau of Supports for Autism and Special Populations, 2020). States
149 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
like California and Indiana had implemented such programs on a trial basis, which can serve as a
model for others and for national implementation.
Further, the finding that access to care for families of children with ASD is limited also
because of medical providers’ lack awareness of existence of mental health issues, like depression,
anxiety, adjustment disorders, and isolation, specifically related to young adult stage of life of
people with ASD (Anderson, Lupfer & Shattuck, 2018; Weiss, et al., 2018; Yirmiya & Shaked,
2005) suggests implementation of neuro-psycho-educational training for medical professionals
about mental health issues and appropriate mental health screenings and care for children and
young adults with ASD.
The finding that families of children with ASD, who transitioned from teenage years to
young adults and further on, lack support in transition services that would involve life beyond
childhood and secondary education, including employment, suggests the need for improvement of
transition services, so parents understand what is to come, as well as services for emerging adults
with ASD related to adaptive living skills (cleaning, organizing, etc.) and other daily living
activities, like driving, travel, dating, educational, vocational and financial planning, and
community services that provide connection and networking of young adults with ASD and larger
communities. Other recommendations for policies include unifying school transition services
statewide and even nationwide, and having a specific body within each school district responsible
for transition services. Transition services in schools would engage parents of children with ASD
to provide them with support, clarity for the future and resources available to them after their
children graduate from school. The benefit of the nationwide services rather than locally
appropriated services would be in higher probability of funding available and allocated yearly
based on the rate of ASD in each state.
150 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
Implications for Social Work Education
The findings of this study offer implications for social work education related to BSW,
MSW curricula and continuing education, as well as for the modes of teaching.
Implications for BSW and MSW Social Work Curricula. The finding that professionals
who serve children with ASD and their families are lacking knowledge about the ASD world
prompts the proposal to include content related to working with these children and their families,
which is currently missing from the curricula. Relevant courses should include knowledge about
the multilayered and compounded stress experiences of parents to children with ASD, with
negative and positive outcomes, as well as unique coping strategies, such as new parenting styles,
employed by parents of children with ASD. Modules should focus on ASD diagnostic process,
symptomatology and mental health comorbidities, ASD as a dynamic life experience rather than a
set of “neurodevelopmental issues,” and its effects on the whole family’s functioning will generate
practitioners with a high level of awareness of and the tools for dealing with ASD and other
neurodevelopmental conditions from a family perspective rather than from a diagnosis related
pathology perspective. The findings that the parents of children with ASD developed unique
coping strategies (biology-based coping and self-regulation) as well as a new, “collaborative,”
parenting style prompt the inclusion of this knowledge in MSW core curricula related to the ASD
world.
Because psychoeducation of parents is key to their empowerment and successful coping
(Anderson, Gerard, et al, 1980; Bäuml et al., 2006), as well as it serves as prevention of mental
health issues (Colom, 2007), BSW and MSW curricula should include alternative modes of
learning, such as reading “non-academic” books (e.g., by Oliver Sacks and Temple Grandin) and
151 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
watching videos by these and other outspoken advocates for the ASD community, to understand
it from inside out.
Other findings of this study related to utilizing the trauma lens to events that happen in the
lives of parents of children with ASD support prior studies about teaching trauma to social workers
(Marlowe & Adamson, 2011) and prompt to include this knowledge in the core MSW curriculum,
which will benefit understanding of the trauma-informed practice in populations with multiple
adversities. This will continue to evolve the MSW curricula to be more informing about various
presentations of trauma in diverse populations, and specifically in families of children with ASD
and other developmental disorders. In particular, the findings that multiple traumatic event(s)
happen in the lives of parents of children with ASD at various stages of parenthood support
including in the MSW curriculum this new knowledge that will serve as a foundation for further
deeper examination and empathic work.
The findings that parents of children with ASD reported benefits from their parenting
experience, despite the adversity, prompts including learning modules on PTG, especially as it
applies to parents of children with ASD, in the MSW curricula. This will provide students with a
new understanding about how PTG functions in general as well as within the parenthood journey
of parents of children with ASD, through the Comprehensive PTG Model schema. In addition, the
findings that – because of multiple traumatic/seismic events of a parenthood journey that each start
the PTG process, producing the “budding”/ “cascading” PTG phenomenon in this population,
prompt to include in the MSW curricula the study of PTG in general and PTG in parents of children
with ASD – as the representatives of many other populations with significant adversities that are
not seen by society, and even the professionals, as such. MSW graduates will also benefit from
enriching the MSW curriculum with the knowledge about expert companionship as a part of
152 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
practice with any populations that experience trauma and PTG. Adding the hands-on mode of
teaching through placement of MSW students into interdisciplinary teams that deal with children
with ASD and their families (ASD family units), and with trauma, will prepare those who complete
such MSW curricula for working with this population effectively.
Based on findings in this study about expression of duality of trauma and PTG in parents
of children with ASD, the MSW curricula for trauma-informed practice will benefit from training
in awareness about various expressions of trauma and PTG, fostering PTG in diverse populations,
as well as training in expert companionship, and neuro-psychoeducation about trauma and its
expression.
Implications for Continuing Education. All of the implications mentioned for MSW
educational curricula, apply to post-MSW continuing education, mostly because even seasoned
professionals do not have the particular expertise in this specific population and the specific topics
examined, as their own MSW core curriculum did not include these topics. As the implementation
of the proposed MSW curricula ensues and MSW graduates acquire knowledge about the ASD
world, trauma and PTG in various diverse populations, including parents of children with ASD,
the continuing education curriculum could be then concentrating on more advanced clinical
practice issues.
In addition, the post-MSW education should focus on science-based explanations related
to ASD diagnosis, neuropsychoeducation, neurobiology/ neuroscience, and the topics of
attachment and self-regulation. This will aid professionals in the field to better understand the
biology/ mindfulness-based interventions, as well as the biology-based /self-regulation parental
coping strategies that have a positive effect on the whole family.
153 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
The finding that although some parents expressed deep sadness and loss associated with
their narratives, yet self-selected to participate in this study, has an implication for post- MSW
educational curricula to include the training about the duality of PTG too, as reaching PTG does
not always associate with happy feelings. This also will contribute to breaking down the
assumptions that many practitioners in clinical practice express during conferences and workshops
about how coping and PTG is supposed to look. Knowing that PTG does not have to look like a
“happy place” can support training practitioners who work with parents of children with ASD to
identify PTG, even when it does not look or sound how they might expect, and further foster the
PTG in their patients/clients.
Implications for Social Work Research
The lack of diversity in the sample of this study prompts important suggestions for future
research to address. While this study’s findings are a significant contribution, they are a benefit to
the limited population sample that has been studied (Allmark, 2004; Cohen et al., 2001), and
cannot be extrapolated to the experience of all parents of children with ASD from diverse
backgrounds. To gain a comprehensive understanding and capture relevant voices, all future
research in the areas of inquiry noted in this section should utilize critical case (criterion) sampling
(Patton, 2001, p. 238), deliberately seeking out and including a group/case which is particularly
relevant by certain characteristic/s/criteria, which in future research would be parents of children
with ASD from diverse backgrounds and life circumstances. Additionally, while snowball
sampling can be effective and is widely used, that recruited participants often come from the same
social group requires that researchers utilize a complementary approach to recruitment to more
traditional approaches, such as recruiting from public places (Browne & Russell, 2003), and
utilizing advisors or trusted community gatekeepers to invite people whose voices are relevant and
154 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
needed. Future researchers should take care to also minimize barriers to participation by creating
recruitment materials that include ethnic and cultural visuals that resonate with the whole
population, use appropriate language and consider the potential participant’s literacy levels and
learning styles. Researchers can also utilize cultural advisors and community gatekeepers to
engage as advisors in study planning, recruitment and implementation (National Resource Center
for Healthy Marriage and Families, 2015; Helms, et al., 2015).
That the researcher was not part of the specific population being studied presents a valuable
lesson that there is possibility to research populations that one does not have membership
personally. While the researcher may bring with them clinical experience and bias associated with
working professionally with a population, the researcher can be uniquely positioned to be aware
of this potential professional partiality and provide a clear space for participants’ narratives to be
shared without a subjective view grounded in any personal experiences.
The finding that the parents of children with ASD experienced stresses as multilayered and
compounding were not adequately researched until now. Further research related to the
compounding quality of stress and all the components of it (e.g., stress proliferation, allostatic
stress load, and circular causality), as well as the relationship among the stressors, will aid in better
understanding the experiences of parents of children with ASD, as well as parents of children with
other developmental conditions, and other multiple populations with chronic adversities (LeBlanc,
et al, 2015). This finding of parental stress reaching the level of traumatic experience has an
implication for further research focusing on which components of compounding nature make the
experience more or less traumatic, and examine the mechanisms of prevention of trauma (Wu, et
al, 2011).
155 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
The finding of the multilayered stress experiences of parents of children with ASD, which
involves the construct of circularity as well as the finding of the “cascading”/ “budding” nature of
PTG in this population prompt research investigating this phenomenon further, as well as if this
circular causality plays a role also in potentiation of PTG in parents of children with ASD and
other populations that experience medical or social adversity.
The finding that the experiences of parents of children with ASD brought to the surface a
topic of duality of trauma, which includes the benefits and PTG that improve parental well being
and positive meaning making, prompts to suggest that further research should expand on this
study’s focus on retrospective experiences, while utilizing larger study samples, including
participants from various cultures, ethnicities, religions, countries, as well as speaking various
languages, utilizing various healthcare practices, and applying quantitative measures, such as the
Posttraumatic Growth Inventory (PTGI) (Tedeschi & Calhoun, 1996), to examine which factors
possibly promote more or less PTG process.
In addition, since ASD has some genetic components and the findings that some parents of
children with ASD had diagnosed or undiagnosed ASD condition, further research should include
studying differences in meaning making, benefit finding, PTG process and PTG manifestations in
parents on the ASD spectrum and those who are not. Further research should also be done on the
PTG process and its manifestation in siblings of children and young adults with diagnosis of ASD
too. This will aid in better understanding of the experiences of ASD-affected populations of all
ages and life stages.
The finding of special ways of coping used by parents of children with ASD, which include
collaborative parenting style and “ASD family unit” prompts suggestion that research of these
phenomena should include larger groups of parents from various cultural backgrounds, as well as
156 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
focusing on special ways of coping in other populations with multiple adversities. In addition, it
suggests that future research on coping looks into the parent’s description of their evolution of
coping over time. The finding of proposed ASD family unit operation is little known to the
professional communities that provide services for parents of children with ASD, which prompts
further research focusing on experiences of all members of the family with a child diagnosed with
ASD, and on experiences of the family as a whole. Finally, the finding of a new collaborative
parenting style may also contribute to the existing research in the field of trauma informed
parenting (Murray, et al., 2019; Johnson, et al., 2018) and specifically as it relates to trauma
informed parenting of children with ASD, which there is currently limited research on (Dababnah,
2018).
The finding regarding specific personality traits of parents of children with ASD and their
contribution to the multilayered experience of parenthood suggest that future research should
explore personality traits (e.g., self-identified extraversion) as factors contributing to parental
experience of stress and/or benefit finding and PTG. Further research should also explore other
factors that affect the meaning-making process and contribute to traumatic experiences in parents
of children with ASD, as it was done for other populations with adversities, e.g., patients with
cancer (Chan et al., 2018).
Although prior studies that focused on siblings of children, adolescents and adults with
ASD and they discovered the positive and negative experiences of the adults siblings (Moss, et al.,
2019), relationship between severity of behavior problems of ASD affected siblings on shared
activities and sibling relationships (Orsmond, et al., 2009), as well as factors affecting the
wellbeing of siblings during their lifespan (Orsmond & Seltzer, 2007), this study’s findings that
parents perceived that typical siblings experienced stress, lack of attention, pressure to become a
157 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
caregiver, and neglect of their own needs suggests implications for further research. Future
qualitative research should focus on these siblings’ perceived and unmet needs and best ways to
support them, providing them with a voice about their experiences, including their journey of
adjustment and factors moderating it.
The finding that the parental experiences of rearing both children with and without ASD
diagnosis caused additional stresses to parents prompts the suggestion that further research focuses
on giving light to the ways in which parents make decisions about parenting, the roles they take
on as parents with each child, and what parents need support in as they navigate parenting children
with variable unique needs.
While this study focused on experiences of parents of young adult children with ASD,
further research should be focusing on the retrospective insights of parents of older adult children
with ASD, which might provide even more insight about the benefits and growth they have
experienced, as well as the various ways they navigated life transition challenges unique to older
children, such as dating, travel, vocation, financial planning and independence.
The findings that four families (out of 16) identifying one of the parents having a diagnosis
or symptoms of ASD themselves point to the need to explore more the experiences and the needs
of parents with ASD. This is really an unchartered territory. Research should also explore the
experiences parents of children with ASD who have ASD themselves, and their family dynamics.
The finding that parents reported lack of transition services (from school age into
adulthood) for their children with ASD prompt further research into what works and what does
not, in terms of this transition. Also, while people with ASD can gain employment and become
successful (Hendricks, 2010), research in this area is limited. Thus, further research should also
focus on factors that support successful life and careers of people with ASD.
158 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
The finding that parents’ own perspectives on ASD and perspectives of others had
impacted their meaning making of potential child outcomes and their coping, suggests the need to
further study which factors contribute to a parent's understanding and meaning making of ASD,
and which coping strategies are effective and which are not. Further research should also expand
on the findings of this study regarding biology focused coping strategies employed by parents of
children with ASD that they found effective, such as mindfulness practices, meditation, physical
activity, and self-regulation. Further research in this area should explore the idea that parents of
children with ASD that utilize these practices are able to self-regulate, and “lend” their experience
of much needed self-regulation (as lending the body ego) to their children with ASD too.
Exploration of this idea through further research will benefit to construct directions for practice
with parents of children with ASD, as well as parents of children with other developmental
disorders that need to learn self-regulation.
The finding that parents of children with ASD experienced their relationships with
professionals as strenuous and not trusting, prompts further research regarding the elements of
effective communication (e.g., empathic listening, attending to parents’ “gut feelings” about
child’s symptoms, etc.) between medical and other professionals and parents/ families of children
with ASD who work in clinical settings, direct practice or team environment. Also, the finding of
this study about the manner the practitioners engage with the parents of children with ASD, and
how this affects the parents’ experience, suggest that future research focuses deeper on
understanding the qualities in a practitioner that are associated with positive experience for parents.
The finding that parents of children with ASD diagnosis were not satisfied with the
interventions offered to their families prompts the suggestion for further research related to
effective interventions offered to children with ASD and their families. Future research in this area
159 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
should utilize a larger sample of families and more qualitative research methods with longitudinal
and retrospective explorations.
The findings that parents were devastated when they found that their child has ASD –
mostly because of their references to the stigmatized and pathologized portrayal of people with
ASD on TV and cinema prompt the suggestion for further research about the impact of media on
experiences of families of children with ASD, as well as about community reaction and attitudes
towards this population group. This type of research could aid in better understanding of how
media/ TV/ cinema could support the general population to understand the many faces of ASD and
the unique experiences of parents of children with ASD and their families, negative and positive,
and even growth.
Finally, regarding the finding of the duality of reported family and community response –
stigmatization and distancing on one hand and support on the other – prompts an important
question for future research related to factors playing a role in this dual response.
160 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
References
Abbeduto, L., Seltzer, M.M., Shattuck, P., Krauss, M.W., Orsmond, G., & Murphy, M.M.
(2004). Psychological well-being and coping in mothers of youths with autism, Down
syndrome, or fragile X syndrome. American Journal of Mental Retardation, 109(3), 237-
254.
Affleck, G., & Tennen, H. (1993). Cognitive adaptation to adversity: Insights from parents of
medically fragile infants. In A. P. Turnbull, J. M. Patterson, S. K. Behr, D. L. Murphy, J.
G. Marquis, & M. J. Blue-Banning (Eds.). Cognitive coping, families, and disability (pp.
135–150). Baltimore: Paul H. Brookes Publishing Co.
Aflakseir, A. (2010). The role of social support and coping strategies on mental health of a group
of Iranian disabled war veterans. Iran Journal of Psychiatry, 5(3), 102–107.
Aldwin, C.M. (2007). Stress, coping, and development: An integrative approach (2nd ed). New
York: Guilford.
Aldwin, C.M. (2009). Gender and Wisdom: A Brief Overview. Research in Human Development
6 (1), 1–8.
Allmark, P. (2004). Should research samples reflect the diversity of the population?. Journal of
medical ethics, 30(2), 185-189.Allen, K. R., Fine, M. A., & Demo, D. H. (2000). An
overview of family diversity: Controversies, questions, and values. Handbook of family
diversity, 1-14.
161 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
Altiere, M. J., & von Kluge, S. (2009). Searching for acceptance: Challenges encountered while
raising a child with autism. Journal of Intellectual & Developmental Disability, 34(2),
142–152.
Amato, P. R. (2000). The consequences of divorce for adults and children. Journal of marriage
and family, 62(4), 1269-1287.
Ambrus, V.M. (2019). Parent stress adaptation among caregivers of youth with Autism
Spectrum Disorder. Minneapolis, MN: Walden University Dissertation and Doctoral
Studies.
American Psychiatric Association. (1994). DSM-IV: Diagnostic and Statistic Manual of Mental
Disorders. American Psychiatric Association, Washington DC.
American Psychiatric Association. (2013). Diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders
(DSM-5®). American Psychiatric Pub.
American Psychiatric Association (APA) (2013). What is Autism Spectrum Disorder? Retrieved
from http://www.psychiatry.org/patients-families/autism/what-is-autismspectrum-
disorder
Anderson, D., Dumont, S., Jacobs, P., & Azzaria, L. (2007). The personal costs of caring for a
child with a disability: A review of the literature. Public Health Reports, 122(1), 3–16.
Anderson, K.M., Danis, F.S., Havig, K. (2011). Adult daughters of battered women: Recovery
and posttraumatic growth following adversity. Families in Society, 92(2), 154-160.
Anderson, C.M., Gerard, E., Hogarty, G.E., & Reiss, D.J. (1980). Family treatment of adult
schizophrenic patients: A psycho-educational approach. Schizophrenia Bulletin, 6490–
6505.
162 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
Anderson, C., Lupfer, A., & Shattuck, P.T. (2018). Barriers to receipt of services for young
adults with autism. Pediatrics, 141 (4), S300-S305.
APA (2020). Parenting styles. Retrieved from https://www.apa.org/act/resources/fact-
sheets/parenting-styles
Ariel, C., & Naseef, R. (Eds.). (2006). Voices from the spectrum: Parents, grandparents,
siblings, people with Autism and professionals share their wisdom. Philadelphia:
Kingsley.
Avison, W. R., Ali, J., & Walters, D. (2007). Family structure, stress, and psychological distress:
A demonstration of the impact of differential exposure. Journal of Health and Social
Behavior, 48(3), 301-317.
Bailey, D.B., Golden, R.N., Roberts, J., & Ford, A. (2007). Maternal depression and
developmental disability: research critique. Mental Retardation and Developmental
Disabilities Research Reviews, 13(4), 321-329.
Baio, J., Wiggins, L., Christensen, D.L., Maenner, M.J., Daniels, J., Warren, Z., …White, T., et
al. (2018). Prevalence of Autism Spectrum Disorder among children aged 8 years -
Autism and Developmental Disabilities Monitoring Network, 11 Sites, United States,
2014. MMWR Surveillance Summaries, 67(6), 1-23.
Baker, D.L., & Drapela, L.A. (2010). Mostly the mother: Concentration of adverse employment
effects on mothers of children with autism. The Social Science Journal, 47(3), 578-592.
Barker, E. T., Hartley, S. L., Seltzer, M. M., Floyd, F. J., Greenberg, J. S., & Orsmond, G. I.
(2011). Trajectories of emotional well-being in mothers of adolescents and adults with
autism. Developmental Psychology, 47(2), 551–561.
163 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
Barker, E.T., Mailick, M.R., & Smith, L.E. (2014). Chronic parenting stress in mothers of
adolescents and adults with autism: Vulnerability and resilience. In V. Patel, V. Preedy,
& C. Martin (Eds.), Comprehensive Guide to Autism (pp. 207-222). New York, NY:
Springer.
Barnett, D., Clements, M., Kaplan-Estrin, M., & Fialka, J. (2003). Building new dreams:
Supporting parents' adaptation to their child with special needs. Infants & Young
Children, 16(3), 184-200.
Barr, P. (2011). Posttraumatic growth in parents of infants hospitalized in a neonatal intensive
care unit. Journal of Loss and Trauma, 16(2), 117-134.
Bauer, M. (1996). The narrative interview: Comments on a technique for qualitative data
collection.
Bäuml, J., Froböse, T., Kraemer, S., Rentrop, M., & Pitschel-Walz, G. (2006). Psychoeducation:
A basic psychotherapeutic intervention for patients with schizophrenia and their families.
Schizophrenia Bulletin, 32(1), S1-S9.
Bayat, M. (2007). Evidence of resilience in families of children with Autism. Journal of
Intellectual Disability research, 51, 702-714.
Beck, A.T. (1976). Cognitive therapy and emotional disorders. New York: International
Universities Press.
Beer, M., Ward, L., & Moar, K. (2013). The relationship between mindful parenting and distress
in parents of children with an autism spectrum disorder. Mindfulness, 4(2), 102–112.
Bekhet, A. K., Johnson, N. L., & Zauszniewski, J. A. (2012). Effects on resilience of caregivers
of persons with Autism Spectrum Disorder: The role of positive cognitions. Journal of
the American Psychiatric Nurses Association, 18, 337–344.
164 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
Belsky, J. (1984). The determinants of parenting: A Process Model. Child Development, 56(1),
83-96.
Benedek, T. (1959). Parenthood as a developmental phase- a contribution to the libido theory.
Journal of American Psychoanalytic Association, 7(3), 389-417.
Benevides, T. W., Carretta, H. J., & Lane, S. J. (2016). Unmet need for therapy among children
with Autism Spectrum Disorder: Results from the 2005–2006 and 2009–2010 National
Survey of Children with Special Health Care Needs. Maternal and child health journal,
20(4), 878-888.
Benson, P.R. (2006). The impact of child symptom severity on depressed mood among parents
of
children with ASD: The mediating role of stress proliferation. Journal of Autism and
Developmental Disorders, 36(5), 685-695.
Benson, P. R. (2010). Coping, distress, and well-being in mothers of children with Autism.
Research in Autism Spectrum Disorders, 4(2), 217-228.
Benson, P. R., & Karlof, K. L. (2009). Anger, stress proliferation, and depressed mood among
parents of children with ASD: A longitudinal replication. Journal of autism and
developmental disorders, 39(2), 350-362.
Berger, R., & Weiss, T. (2009). The Posttraumatic Growth model: An expansion to the family
system. Traumatology, 15(1), 63–74.
Berger, R., & Malkinson, R. (2000). ‘Therapeutizing’ research: The positive impact of research
on participants. Smith College Studies in Social Work, 70, 307–314.
Berger, R., & Paul, M. S. (2011). Using e-mail for family research. Journal of Technology in
Human Services, 29(3), 197-211.
165 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
Berger, R., Quiros, L., & Benavidez-Hatzis, J. R. (2018). The intersection of identities in
supervision for trauma-informed practice: Challenges and strategies. The Clinical
Supervisor, 37(1), 122–141.
Berger, R., & Quiros, L. (2016). Best practices for training trauma-informed practitioners:
Supervisors’ voice. Traumatology, 22(2), 145–154.
Berger, R. (2015). Stress, trauma, and posttraumatic growth: Social context, environment and
identities. London: Routledge.
Bhati, S., & Richards, K.J. (2015). A systematic review of the relationship between postpartum
sleep disturbance and postpartum depression. Obstetrics, Gynecology and Neonatal
Nursing, 44(3), 350-357.
Bi, X., Yang, I., Li, H., Wang, M., Zhang, W., & Deater-Deckard, K. (2018). Parenting styles
and parent–adolescent relationships: The mediating roles of behavioral autonomy and
parental authority. Frontiers in Psychology, 13. doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2018.02187
Bishop, S. L., Richler, J., Cain, A. C., & Lord, C. (2007). Predictors of perceived negative
impact in mothers of children with Autism Spectrum Disorder. American Journal on
Mental Retardation, 11(6)2, 450–461.
Bitsika, V., & Sharpley, C. F. (2004). Stress, anxiety, and depression among parents of children
with Autism Spectrum Disorder. Australian Journal of Guidance and Counselling, 14(2),
151–161.
Blegen, N.E., Eriksson, K., & Bondas, T. (2014). Through the depths and heights of darkness;
mothers as patients in psychiatric care. Scandinavian Journal of Caring Sciences, 28(4),
852-860.
Bluth, K., Roberson, P. N., Billen, R. M., & Sams, J. M. (2013). A stress model for
166 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
couples parenting children with autism spectrum disorders and the introduction of
a mindfulness intervention. Journal of Family Theory & review, 5(3), 194-213.
Bogosian, A., Morgan, M., & Moss-Morris, R. (2019). Multiple challenges for people after
transitioning to secondary progressive multiple sclerosis: A qualitative study. BMJ Open,
9(3), e026421. doi: 10.1136/bmjopen-2018-026421
Bonis, S. (2016). Stress and parents of children with autism: a review of literature. Issues in
Mental Health Nursing, 37(3), 153-163.
Bornstein, M.C., & Cote, L. (2006). Introduction to acculturation and parent-child relationships.
In: M.C. Bornstein & L.R. Cote (Eds.), Acculturation and parent child relationships (pp.
3-13). Mahwah, NJ: Lawrence Erlbaum Associates.
Bornstein, M. H. (2012). Cultural approaches to parenting. Parenting, Science and
Practice, 12(2-3), 212–221.
Boshoff, K., Gibbs, D., Phillips, R. L., Wiles, L., & Porter, L. (2018). Parents' voices:“Our
process of advocating for our child with autism.” A meta‐synthesis of parents'
perspectives. Child: Care, Health and Development, 44(1), 147-160.
Boss, P. (2007). Ambiguous loss theory: Challenges for scholars and practitioners. Family
Relations, Special Issue: Ambiguous Loss, 56(2), 105-110.
Boss, P. (2009). The trauma and complicated grief of ambiguous loss. Pastoral Psychology,
59(2), 137-145.
Bourke-Taylor, H., Howie, L., & Law, M. (2010). Impact of caring for a school-aged child with
a disability: Understanding mothers’ perspectives. Australian Occupational Therapy
Journal, 57, 127–136.
167 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
Boyd, B. A. (2002). Examining the relationship between stress and lack of social support in
mothers of children with autism. Focus on Autism and Other Developmental Disabilities,
17, 208–215.
Brault, M. W. (2011). School-Aged Children with Disabilities in US Metropolitan Statistical
Areas: 2010. American Community Survey Briefs. ACSBR/10-12. US Census Bureau.
Braun, V., & Clarke, V. (2006). Using thematic analysis in psychology. Qualitative Research in
Psychology, 3(2), 77-101.
Breevaart, K., & Bakker, A.B. (2012). The influence of job and parental strain on typically and
atypically developing children: a vicious circle? Community, Work & Family, 15, 173-
188.
Briere, J., & Scott, C. (2014). Principles of trauma therapy: A guide to symptoms, evaluation,
and treatment (2nd ed.), DSM-5 update. Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage.
Brobst, J. B., Clopton, J. R., & Hendrick, S. S. (2009). Parenting children with Autism Spectrum
Disorders: The couple’s relationship. Focus on Autism and Other Developmental
Disabilities, 24(1), 38-49.
Bromley, J., Hare, D.J., Davison, K, & Emerson, E. (2004). Mothers supporting children with
Autism Spectrum Disorders: Social support, mental health status and satisfaction with
services. Autism, 8(4), 409-423.
Brondani, M., MacEntee, M., &O ’Connor, D. (2011). Email as a data collection tool when
interviewing older adults. International Journal of Qualitative Methods, 10, 221-230.
Bronfenbrenner, U. (1979). The ecology of human development: Experiments by nature and
design. Cambridge, MA: Harvard University Press.
Bronfenbrenner, U. (1986). Ecology of the family as a context for human development.
168 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
American Psychologist, 32, 513–531.
Brown, J.M. (2013). Recurrent grief in mothering a child with an intellectual disability to
adulthood: Grieving is the healing. Child and Family Social Work, 1-10.
Bryant-Davis, T., & Wong, E. C. (2013). Faith to move mountains: Religious coping,
spirituality, and interpersonal trauma recovery. American Psychologist, 68(8), 675.
Butcher, P. R., Wind, T., & Bouma, A. (2008). Parenting stress in mothers and fathers of a child
with a hemiparesis: Sources of stress, intervening factors and long-term expressions of
stress. Child: Care, Health and Development, 34(4), 530-541.
Cadman, D., Rosenbaum, P., Boyle, M., & Offord, D.R. (1991). Children with chronic illness:
Family and parent demographic characteristics and psychosocial adjustment. Pediatrics,
87, 884-889.
Calhoun, L.G., Cann, A., & Tedeschi, R.G. (2010). The posttraumatic growth model:
Sociocultural considerations. In Weiss, T. & Berger, R. (Eds.).Posttraumatic growth and
culturally competent practice: Lessons from around the globe (p.1-14). Hoboken, NJ:
John Wiley & Sons, Inc.
Calhoun, L. G., & Tedeschi, R. G. (Eds.). (1999). Facilitating posttraumatic growth: A
clinician’s guide. London, UK: Routledge.
Calhoun, L. G., & Tedeschi, R. G. (2004a). Posttraumatic growth: Conceptual foundations of
empirical evidence. Psychological Inquiry, 15(1), 1-18.
Calhoun, L. G., & Tedeschi, R. G. (2004). The foundations of posttraumatic growth: New
considerations. Psychological Inquiry, 15(1), 93-102.
Calhoun, L. G., & Tedeschi, R. G. (2006). Handbook of posttraumatic growth: Research and
practice. Mahwah, NJ: Lawrence Erlbaum Associates.
169 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
Calhoun, L. G., & Tedeschi, R. G. (2006a). Expert companions: Posttraumatic growth in clinical
practice. In L. G. Calhoun & R. G. Tedeschi (Eds.), Handbook of posttraumatic growth:
Research & practice (p. 291–310). Lawrence Erlbaum Associates Publishers.
Calhoun, L. & Tedeschi, R. (2012). Expert companions: Posttraumatic growth in clinical
practice. Posttraumatic Growth in Clinical Practice. 10.4324/9780203629048.
Calhoun, L.G., & Tedeschi, R.G. (2013). Posttraumatic growth in clinical practice. New York,
NY: Routledge.
Cameron, E.E., Sedov, I.D., & Tomfohr-Madsen, L.M. (2016). Prevalence of paternal depression
in pregnancy and the postpartum: An updated meta-analysis. Journal of Affective
Disorders, 206, 189-203.
Canary, H. E. (2008). Creating supportive connections: A decade of research on support for
families of children with disabilities. Health Communication, 23(5), 413-426.
Cann, A., Calhoun, L. G., Tedeschi, R. G., and Solomon, D. T. (2010). Posttraumatic growth and
depreciation as independent experiences and predictors of well-being. Journal of Loss
and Trauma, 15, 151–166. doi: 10.1080/15325020903375826
Cao, H., Mills-Koonce, W.R., Wood, C., & Fine, M.A. (2016). Identity transformation during
the transition to parenthood among same-sex couples: An ecological, stress-strategy-
adaptation perspective. Journal of Family Theory and Review, 8(1), 30-59.
Cappe, E., Wolff, M., Bobet, R., & Adrien, J.L. (2011). Quality of life: A key variable to
consider in the evaluation of adjustment in parents of children with Autism Spectrum
Disorders and in the development of relevant support and assistance programmes. Quality
of Life Research, 20(8), 1279-1294.
Carlsson, E., Miniscalco, C., Kadesjö, B., & Laakso, K. (2016). Negotiating knowledge: Parents’
170 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
experience of the neuropsychiatric diagnostic process for children with autism.
International Journal of Language & Communication Disorders, 51(3), 328-338.
Carter, E.A., & McGoldrick, M. (Eds.). (1980). The family life cycle: A framework for family
therapy. New York, NY: Gardner Press.
Casenhiser, D.M., Binns, A., McGill, F., Morderer, O., & Shanker, S.G. (2015). Measuring and
supporting language function for children with autism: evidence from a randomized
control trial of a social-interaction-based therapy. Journal of Autism and Developmental
Disorders, 45(3), 846-857.
Casey, L. B., Zanksas, S., Meindl, J. N., Parra, G. R., Cogdal, P., & Powell, K. (2012). Parental
symptoms of posttraumatic stress following a child’s diagnosis of Autism Spectrum
Disorder: A pilot study. Research in Autism Spectrum Disorders, 6, 1186–1193.
Cast, A.D. (2004). Well-being and the transition to parenthood: An identity theory
approach. Sociological Perspectives, 47, 55–78.
Catalano, D., Holloway, L., & Mpofu, E. (2018). Mental health interventions for parent carers of
children with Autistic Spectrum Disorder: Practice guidelines from a critical interpretive
synthesis (CIS) systematic review. International Journal for Environmental Research
and Public Health, 15(2), 341. doi: 10.3390/ijerph15020341
Center for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) (2014). CDC estimates 1 in 68 children has
been identified with Autism Spectrum Disorder. Retrieved from
http://www.cdc.gov/media/releases/2014/p0327-autism-spectrum-disorder.html
Center for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) (2018). Data on Autism: Five facts to know.
Retrieved from https://www.cdc.gov/features/new-autism-data/index.html
171 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
Center for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) (2019). Get Free “Learn the Signs. Act Early”
Materials. Retrieved from https://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/actearly/freematerials.html
Center for Disease Control and Prevention CDC (2019a). Autism and Developmental Disabilities
Monitoring (ADDM) Network. Retrieved from
https://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/autism/addm.html
Chan, C.M.H., Ng, C.G., Taib, N.A., Wee, L.H., Krupat, E., & Meyer, F. (2018). Course and
predictors of post-traumatic stress disorder in a cohort of psychologically distressed
patients with cancer: A 4-year follow-up study. Cancer, 124, 406-416.
Charles, N. C., & Berman, R. C. (2009). Making space for positive constructions of the
mother-child relationship: The voice of mothers of children with autism spectrum
disorder. Journal of the Motherhood Initiative for Research and Community Involvement,
11(1).
Chenail, R. J. (2011). Interviewing the investigator: Strategies for addressing instrumentation
and researcher bias concerns in qualitative research. The Qualitative Report, 16(1), 255.
Cherlin, A.J. (Ed) (1988). The Changing American Family and Public Policy. Washington, DC:
The Urban Institute Press.
Chhatwani, S., & Sivaraman, M. (2016). Consumer Corner: Review of CDC’s “Learn the
Signs. Act Early.” Science in Autism Treatment, 13(4), 12-15.
Cidav, Z., Marcus, S. C., & Mandell, D. S. (2012). Implications of childhood Autism for parental
employment and earnings. Pediatrics, 129(4), 617–623.
Cohen, M. Z., Phillips, J. M., & Palos, G. (2001). Qualitative research with diverse populations.
In Seminars in oncology nursing (Vol. 17, No. 3, pp. 190-196). WB Saunders.
172 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
Coles, R. L. (2009). Just doing what they gotta do: Single black custodial fathers coping with the
stresses and reaping the rewards of parenting. Journal of Family Issues, 30(10), 1311-
1338.
Colom, F. (2011). Keeping therapies simple: Psychoeducation in the prevention of relapse in
affective disorders. British Journal of Psychiatry, 198(5), 338–340.
Compas, B.E., et al. (2012). Coping with chronic illness in childhood and adolescence. Annual
Review of Clinical Psychology, 8, 455-480.
Conger, R.D., Elder, G.H., Jr, Lorenz, F.O., et al. (1990). Linking economic hardship to marital
quality and instability. Journal of Marriage and the Family, 52, 643–656.
Connelly, F. M., & Clandinin, D. J. (1990). Stories of experience and narrative inquiry.
Educational researcher, 19(5), 2-14.
Counselman Carpenter, E. A. (2015). The Lived Experience of Mothers Whose Children Were
Born Unexpectedly with Down Syndrome (Order No. 3662175). Available from
Dissertations & Theses @ Adelphi University. (1647431471).
http://libproxy.adelphi.edu/login?url=https://www-proquest-
com.libproxy.adelphi.edu/docview/1647431471?accountid=8204
Counselman-Carpenter, E. A. (2017). The presence of posttraumatic growth (PTG) in mothers
whose children are born unexpectedly with Down syndrome. Journal of Intellectual &
Developmental Disability, 42(4), 351-363.
Coutlhard, P.M., & Fitzgerald, M. (1997). Friends, relations and professional? - Social support in
families who have a child with Autism Spectrum Disorder. Fifth European Congress of
Psychology, Dublin, Ireland.
173 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
Crane, L., Chester, J. W., Goddard, L., Henry, L. A., & Hill, E. (2016). Experiences of Autism
diagnosis: A survey of over 1000 parents in the United Kingdom. Autism, 20(2), 153-162.
Creswell, J. W. (2012). Qualitative inquiry and research design: Choosing among five
approaches. Los Angeles, CA: Sage.
Crnic, K. A., Gaze, C., & Hoffman, C. (2005). Cumulative parenting stress across the preschool
period: Relations to maternal parenting and child behavior at age 5. Infant and Child
Development, 14(2), 117-132.
Crnic, K., Pedersen, A., Baker, B., & Jan Blacher, J. (2009). Mothers and fathers together:
Contrasts in parenting across preschool to early school age in children with
developmental delays. International Review of Research in Mental Retardation, 37, 3-30.
Crouter, A. C., & Booth, A. (Eds.). (2003). Children's influence on family dynamics: The
neglected side of family relationships. Routledge.
Cummings, N.A., & Cummings, J.L. (2008). Psychoeducation in conjunction with
psychotherapy practice. In W. T. O'Donohue & N. A. Cummings (Eds.), Evidence-based
adjunctive treatments (p. 41–59). Elsevier Academic Press.
Curry, L.A., Nembhard, I.A.M, & Bradley, E.H. (2009). Qualitative mixed methods provide
unique contributions to outcomes research. Circulation, 199, 1442- 1452.
Dababnah, S., Habayeb, S., Bear, B. J., & Hussein, D. (2019). Feasibility of a trauma-informed
parent–teacher cooperative training program for Syrian refugee children with autism.
Autism, 23(5), 1300-1310.
Dabrowska, A., & Pisula, E. (2010) Parenting stress and coping styles in mothers and fathers of
pre-school children with autism and Down syndrome. Journal of Intellectual Disability
Research, 54(3), 266-280.
174 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
Daire, A. P, Munyon, M.D., Carlson, R.G., Kimemia, M., & Mitcham, M. (2011). Examining
distress of parents of children with and without special needs. Journal of Mental Health
Counseling, 33(2), 177-188.
Davis, N.O., & Carter, A.S. (2008). Parenting stress in mothers and fathers of toddlers with
autism spectrum disorders: Associations with child characteristics. Journal of Autism and
Developmental Disorders, 38(7), 1278-1291.
Deakin, H., & Wakefield, K. (2014). Skype interviewing: Reflections of two PhD researchers.
Qualitative Research, 14(5), 603-616.
Deater‐Deckard, K., & Petrill, S. A. (2004). Parent–child dyadic mutuality and child behavior
problems: An investigation of gene–environment processes. Journal of Child Psychology
and Psychiatry, 45(6), 1171-1179.
Dellve, L., Samuelsson, L., Tallborn, A., Fasth, A., & Hallberg, L. R. M. (2006). Stress and well-
being among parents of children with rare diseases: A prospective intervention study.
Journal of Advanced nursing, 53(4), 392-402.
DePape, A.M., & Lindsay, S. (2015). Parents’ experiences of caring for a child with Autism
Spectrum Disorder. Qualitative Health Research, 25(4), 569-583.
Derguy, C., M’Bailara, K., Michel, G., Roux, S. & Bouvard, M. (2016). The need for an
ecological approach to parental stress in Autism Spectrum Disorders: The combined role
of individual and environmental factors. Journal of Autism and Developmental
Disorders, 46. 10.1007/s10803-016-2719-3.
Derguy, C., Roux, S., Portex, M, & M’Bailara, K. (2018). An ecological exploration of
individual, family, and environmental contributions to parental quality of life in autism.
Psychiatry Research, 268, 87-93. doi.org/10.1016/j.psychres.2018.07.006
175 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
Dewald, P.A. (1994). Principles of supportive psychotherapy. American Journal of
Psychotherapy, 48, 505–518.
Dickson-Swift, V., James, E. L., Kippen, S., & Liamputtong, P. (2007). Doing sensitive research:
what challenges do qualitative researchers face? Qualitative Research, 7(3), 327-353.
Dijkstra, M. T. M., & Homan, A. C. (2016). Engaging in rather than disengaging from stress:
Effective coping and perceived control. Frontiers in Psychology, 7, Article 1415.
Dillenburger, K., & Keenan, M. (2009). None of the As in ABA stand for autism: Dispelling the
myths. Journal of Intellectual & Developmental Disability, 34(2), 193–195.
Dohrenwend, B. S., Askenasy, A. R., Krasnoff, L., & Dohrenwend, B. P. (1978).
Exemplification of a method for scaling life events: The PERI Life Events Scale.
Journal of health and social behavior, 205-229.
Doss, B. D., Rhoades, G. K., Stanley, S. M., & Markman, H. J. (2009). The effect of the
transition to parenthood on relationship quality: an 8-year prospective study. Journal of
Personality and Social Psychology, 96(3), 601.
Dunn, M. E., Burbine, T., Bowers, C. A., & Tantleff-Dunn, S. (2001). Moderators of stress in
parents of children with Autism. Community Mental Health Journal, 37(1), 39-52.
Dunn, E.C., Masyn, K.E., Yudron, M., Jones, S.M., & Subramanian, S.V. (2014). Translating
multilevel theory into multilevel research: Challenges and opportunities for
understanding the social determinants of psychiatric disorders. Social Psychiatry and
Psychiatric Epidemiology, 49(6), 859-872.
Dyches, T. T., Christensen, R., Harper, J. M., Mandleco, B., & Roper, S. O. (2016). Respite care
for single mothers of children with Autism Spectrum Disorders. Journal of Autism and
Developmental Disorders, 46(3), 812-824.
176 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
Dyson, L. (1996). The experiences of families of children with learning disabilities: parental
stress, family functioning, and sibling self-concept. Journal of Learning Disabilities,
29(3), 280-286.
Easterbrooks, M.A., Chaudhuri, J.H., Bartlett, J.D., & Copeman, A. (2011). Resilience in
parenting among young mothers: Family and ecological risks and opportunities. Children
and Youth Services Review, 33(1), 42-50.
Edmund, D.S., & Bland, P.J. (2011). Multiple layers of trauma. In Real Tools: Responding to
multi-abuse trauma – A tool kit to help advocates and community partners better serve
people with multiple issues (pp. 11-28). Juneau, Alaska: ANDVSA.
Ekas, N.V., Lickenbrock, D.M., & Whitman, T.L. (2010). Optimism, social support, and well-
being in mothers of children with Autism Spectrum Disorder. Journal of Autism and
Developmental Disorders, 40, 1274-1284.
Ekas, N.V., Whitman, T.L., & Shivers, C. (2009). Religiosity, spirituality, and socioemotional
functioning in mothers of children with autism spectrum disorder. Journal of Autism and
Developmental Disorders, 39, 706-719.
Elder, J. H., & D’Alessandro, T. (2009). Supporting families of children with autism Spectrum
Disorders: Questions parents ask and what nurses need to know. Pediatric Nursing,
35(4), 240-245.
Ellis, J. B. (1989). Grieving for the loss of the perfect child: Parents of children with handicaps.
Child and Adolescent Social Work Journal, 6(4), 259-270.
Ellis, M.A. (2018, September 24). Autism: Religion and Spirituality: How parents can find peace
with autism. Psychology Today. Retrieved from
177 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/caring-autism/201809/autism-religion-and-
spirituality
Elsabbagh, M., Divan, G., Koh, Y. J., Kim, Y. S., Kauchali, S., Marcín, C., ... & Yasamy, M. T.
(2012). Global prevalence of autism and other pervasive developmental disorders. Autism
Research, 5(3), 160-179.
Estes, A, Olson, E., Sullivan, K., Greenson, J., Winter, J., Dawson, G., & Munson, J. (2013).
Parenting-related stress and psychological distress in mothers of toddlers with autism
spectrum disorders. Brain Development, 35(2), 133–138.
Emerson, E. (2003). Mothers of children and adolescents with intellectual disability: social and
economic situation, mental health status, and the self-assessed social and psychological
impact of the child's difficulties. Journal of Intellectual Disability Research, 47, 385-399.
Epifanio, M.S., Genna, V., Vitello, M.G., Roccella, M., & La Grutta, S. (2013). Parenting stress
and impact of illness in parents of children with coeliac disease. Pediatric Reports, 5(4),
e19. doi: 10.4081/pr.2013.e19
Erikson, E. H. (1956). The problem of ego identity. Journal of American Psychoanalytic
Association, 4, 56-121.
Estes, A., Munson, J., Dawson, G., Koehler, E., Zhou, X. H., & Abbott, R. (2009). Parenting
stress and psychological functioning among mothers of preschool children with autism
and developmental delay. Autism, 13(4), 375-387.
Estes, A, Olson, E., Sullivan, K., Greenson, J., Winter, J., Dawson, G., & Munson, J. (2013).
Parenting-related stress and psychological distress in mothers of toddlers with autism
spectrum disorders. Brain Development, 35(2), 133–138.
178 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
Evenson, R. J., & Simon, R. W. (2005). Clarifying the relationship between parenthood and
depression. Journal of health and Social Behavior, 46(4), 341-358.
Fabes, R.A., Leonard, S.A., Kupanoff, K., & Martin, C.L. (2001).Parental coping with children's
negative emotions: Relations with children's emotional and social responding. Child
Development, 72(3), 907-920.
Fairthorne, J.C., de Klerk, N.H., Leonard, H.M., & Whitehouse, A.J. (2016). Mothers of children
with autism have different rates of cancer according to the presence of intellectual
disability in their child. Journal of Autism & Developmental Disorders, 46(9), 3106-
3114.
Fairthorne, J., Hammond, G., Bourke, J., Jacoby, P., & Leonard, H. (2014). Early mortality and
primary causes of death in mothers of children with intellectual disability or autism
spectrum disorder: a retrospective cohort study. PLoS One, 9(12), e113430.
Faras, H., Al Ateeqi, N., & Tidmarsh, L. (2010). Autism spectrum disorders. Annals of Saudi
medicine, 30(4), 295–300. doi:10.4103/0256-4947.65261
Farr, R.H., & Patterson, C. (2013). Coparenting among lesbian, gay, and heterosexual couples:
associations with adopted children's outcomes. Journal of Child Development, 84(4),
1226-1240.
Feldman, R., Sussman, A. L., & Zigler, E. (2004). Parental leave and work adaptation at the
transition to parenthood: Individual, marital, and social correlates. Journal of Applied
Developmental Psychology, 25(4), 459-479.
Felitti, V. (2002). The relationships of adverse childhood experiences to adult health: Turning
gold into lead. Medical Psychotherapy, 48(4), 359-369.
179 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
Fennie, K. M. (2001). Transition to parenthood from couplehood: Implications for therapy.
Research paper. Retrieved from:
http://www2.uwstout.edu/content/lib/thesis/2001/2001fenniek.pdf
Ferraioli, S., & Harris, S. (2012). Comparative effects of mindfulness and skills-based parent
training programs for parents of children with autism: Feasibility and preliminary
outcome data. Mindfulness, 4(2), 89–101.
Fields, J. (2003). Children’s living arrangements and characteristics: March 2002. Current
Population Reports.
Finkel, E. J., & Eastwick, P. W. (2015). Attachment and pair bonding. Current Opinion in
Behavioral Sciences, 3, 7–11.
Firat, S., Diler, R. S., Avci, A., & Seydaoglu, G. (2002).Comparison of psychopathology in the
mothers of autistic and mentally retarded children. Journal of Korean Medical Science,
17(5), 679-685.
Fleischmann, A. (2004). Narrative published on the Internet by parents of children with autism:
What do they reveal and why is it important? Focus on Autism and Other Developmental
Disabilities, 19(1), 35–43.
Florian, V., & Findler, L. (2001). Mental health and marital adaptation among mothers of
children with cerebral palsy. American Journal of Orthopsychiatry, 71(3), 358.
Folkman, S. (1997). Positive psychological states and coping with severe stress. Social Science
and Medicine, 45(8), 1207-1221.
Folkman, S., Schaefer, C., & Lazarus, R. S. (1979). Cognitive processes as mediators of stress
and coping. In V. Hamilton & D. W. Warburton (Eds.), Human stress and cognition (pp.
265-298). New York: Wiley.
180 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
Frankl, V. E. (1984). Man’s search for meaning. New York, NY: Beacon Press.
Friedman, N. D., Warfield, M. E., & Parish, S. L. (2013). Transition to adulthood for individuals
with Autism Spectrum Disorder: Current issues and future perspectives. Neuropsychiatry,
3(2), 181.
Frost, D.M., Meyer, I.H., & Schwartz, S. (2016). Social support networks among diverse sexual
minority populations. American Journal of Orthopsychiatry, 86(1), 91-102.
Gadomski, A.M., Riley, M.R., Scribani, M., & Tallman, N. (2018). Impact of “Learn the Signs.
Act Early.” Materials on Parental Engagement and Doctor Interaction Regarding Child
Development. Journal of Developmental and Behavioral Pediatrics, 39(9), 693-700.
Galinsky, E. (1987). The six stages of parenthood. Cambridge, MA: Perseus Books.
Ganong, L.H., & Coleman, M. (2004). Stepfamily relationships: Development, dynamics, and
interventions. New York, NY: Plenum.
Garton, A.L.A., Sisti, J.A., Gupta, V.P., Christophe, B.R., & Sander Connolly Jr., E. (2017).
Poststroke post-traumatic stress disorder: A review. Stroke, 48(2), 507-512.
Ghane, G., Farahani, M.A., Seyedfatemi, N., & Hafhani, H. (2016). Effectiveness of
problem-focused coping strategies on the burden on caregivers of hemodialysis patients.
Nursing and Midwifery Studies, 5(2), e35594.
Gillham, B., Tanner, G., Cheyne, B., Freeman, I., Rooney, M., & Lambie, A. (1998).
Unemployment rates, single parent density, and indices of child poverty: Their
relationship to different categories of child abuse and neglect. Child Abuse and Neglect,
22, 79-90.
Giovagnoli, G., Postorino, V., Fatta, L.M., Sanges, V., De Peppo, L., Vassena, L., … &
Mazzone, L. (2015). Behavioral and emotional profile and parental stress in preschool
181 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
children with autism spectrum disorder. Research in Developmental Disabilities, 45-46,
411-421.
Girgis, A., & Sanson-Fisher, R. W. (1995). Breaking bad news: Consensus guidelines for
medical practitioners. Journal of Clinical Oncology, 13(9), 2449–2456.
Glass, J., Simon, R.W., & Andersson, M.A. (2016). Parenthood and happiness: Effects of work-
family reconciliation policies in 22 OECD countries. American Journal of Sociology,
122(3), 886-929.,
Glidden, L.M., & Schoolcraft, .A. (2003).Depression: its trajectory and correlates in mothers
rearing children with intellectual disability. Journal of Intellectual Disability Research,
47(4-5), 250-263.
Glück, J., Bluck, S. & Weststrate, N.M. (2019). More on the MORE Life Experience Model:
What we have learned (so far). Journal of Value Inquiry, 53, 349–370.
https://doi.org/10.1007/s10790-018-9661-x
Goldberg, A. E., & Perry-Jenkins, M. (2004). Division of labor and working-class women's well-
being across the transition to parenthood. Journal of Family Psychology, 18(1), 225.
Goldberg, A.E., & Smith, J.Z. (2014). Predictors of parenting stress in lesbian, gay, and
heterosexual adoptive parents during early parenthood. Journal of Family Psychology,
28(2), 125-137.
Gray, D.E. (2002). Ten years on: A longitudinal study of families of children with autism.
Journal of Intellectual & Developmental Disability, 27, 215–222.
Gray, D.E. (2003). Gender and coping: The parents of children with high functioning autism.
Social Science and Medicine, 56, 631-642.
Gray, D. E. & Holden, W. J. (1992).Psycho-social well-being among the parents of children with
182 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
autism. Australia and New Zealand Journal of Developmental Disabilities, 18, 83-93.
Greene, R.R., Wright, M., Herring, M., Dubus, N., & Wright, T. (2019). Human behavior theory
and social work practice with marginalized oppressed populations. UK, London:
Routledge.
Greenspan, S. I., & Wieder, S. (2007). The developmental individual-difference, relationship-
based (DIR/Floortime) model approach to Autism Spectrum Disorders. In E. Hollander &
E. Anagnostou (Eds.), Clinical manual for the treatment of autism (p. 179–209).
Washington, DC: American Psychiatric Publishing, Inc.
Grinker, R. R. (2016). What in the world is autism? A cross-cultural perspective. Understanding
and Applying Medical Anthropology, 311.
Grote, N.K., & Clark, M.S. (2001). Perceiving unfairness in the family: cause or consequence of
marital distress? Journal of Personality & Social Psychology, 80(2), 281-93.
Gross, H. E., Shaw, D. S., Moilanen, K. L., Dishion, T. J., & Wilson, M. N. (2008). Reciprocal
models of child behavior and depressive symptoms in mothers and fathers in a sample of
children at risk for early conduct problems. Journal of Family Psychology, 22(5), 742.
Gunawan, J. (2015). Ensuring trustworthiness in qualitative research. Belitung Nursing Journal,
1(1), 10-11.
Gutstein, S.E. (2002). Relationship Development Intervention with young children: Social and
emotional development activities for Asperger syndrome, Autism, PDD and
NLD (Kindle Edition). Philadelphia, PA: Jessica Kingsley Publishers.
Gutstein, S.E. (2009). Empowering families through Relationship Development Intervention: An
important part of the biopsychosocial management of Autism Spectrum Disorders.
Annals of Clinical Psychiatry, 21(3), 174-182.
183 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
Ha, J.-H., Greenberg, J.S., & Seltzer, M.M. (2011). Parenting a child with a disability: The role
of social support for African American parents. Families in Society, 92(4), 405–411.
Halfon, N., Houtrow, A., Larson, K., & Newacheck, P. W. (2012). The changing landscape of
disability in childhood. The Future of Children, 13-42.
Hall, H.R., & Graff, J.C. (2010). Parenting challenges in families of children with autism: A pilot
study. Issues in Comprehensive Pediatric Nursing, 33(4), 187-204.
Harrison, C., & Sofronoff, K. (2002). ADHD and parental psychological distress: Role of
demographics, child behavioral characteristics, and parental cognitions. Journal of the
American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry, 41, 703–711.
Hartley, S.L., Barker, E.T., Seltzer, M.M., Floyd, F., Greenberg, J., Orsmond, G., & Bolt, D.
(2010).The relative risk and timing of divorce in families of children with an Autism
Spectrum Disorder. Journal of Family Psychology, 24(4), 449-457.
Hastings, R. P., & Johnson, E. (2001). Stress in UK families conducting intensive home-based
behavioral intervention for their young child with autism. Journal of Autism and
Developmental Disorders, 31(3), 327-336.
Hastings, R. P., Allen, R., McDermott, K., & Still, D. (2002). Factors related to positive
perceptions in mothers of children with intellectual disabilities. Journal of Applied
Research In Intellectual Disabilities, 15(3), 269-275.
Hastings, R. P., & Brown, T. (2002). Behavior problems of children with autism, parental self-
efficacy, and mental health. American Journal of Mental Retardation, 107, 222–232.
Hastings, R.P. (2003). Child behavior problems and partner mental health as correlates of stress
in mothers and fathers of children with autism. Journal of Intellectual Disability
Research, 47(4-5), 231-237.
184 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
Hastings, R. P., Beck, A., & Hill, C. (2005a). Positive contributions made by children with an
intellectual disability in the family: Mothers’ and fathers’ perceptions. Journal of
Intellectual Disabilities, 9(2), 155-165.
Hastings, R. P., Kovshoff, H., Ward, N. J., Degli Espinosa, F., Brown, T., & Remington, B.
(2005b). Systems analysis of stress and positive perceptions in mothers and fathers of
pre-school children with autism. Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders, 35(5),
635-644.
Haveman, R., & Wolfe, B. (1994). Succeeding generations: On the effects of investments in
children. New York, NY: Russell Sage.
Hayes, S. A., & Watson, S. L. (2013). The impact of parenting stress: A meta-analysis of studies
comparing the experience of parenting stress in parents of children with and without
autism spectrum disorder. Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders, 43(3), 629-
642.
Heiman, T. (2002). Parents of children with disabilities: Resilience, coping, and future
expectations. Journal of Developmental and physical Disabilities, 14(2), 159-171.
Hendricks, D. (2010). Employment and adults with autism spectrum disorders: Challenges and
strategies for success. Journal of Vocational Rehabilitation, 32, 125–134.
Henretta, J. C. (2007). Early childbearing, marital status, and women's health and mortality after
age 50. Journal of Health and Social Behavior, 48(3), 254-266.
Hepworth, D.H., Rooney, R.H., Dewberry Rooney, G., Strom-Gottfried, K., & Larsen, J.A.
(2009). Direct social work practice: Theory and skills (8th ed.). Belmont, CA: Brooks
Cole.
Herman, J. (1992). Trauma and recovery. New York, NY: Perseus Book Group.
185 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
Higgins, D. J., Bailey, S. R., & Pearce, J. C. (2005). Factors associated with functioning style
and coping strategies of families with a child with an autism spectrum disorder. Autism,
9(2), 125-137.
Hill, R. (1949). Families under stress: Adjustment to the crises of war separation and
reunion. New York, NY: Harper & Brothers.
Ho, S. M., &Bai, Y. (2010). Posttraumatic growth in Chinese culture. In: T. Weiss & R. Burger
(Eds.), Posttraumatic growth and culturally competent practice: Lessons learned from
around the globe (pp. 147–156). Hoboken, NJ: John Wiley & Sons.
Holden, G.H. (2014). Parenting in nontraditional families (Chapter 11). In G.H. Holden, Parenting: A
dynamic perspective (2nd ed.).
Holroyd, J., & McArthur, D. (1976). Mental retardation and stress on the parents: A contrast
between Down's syndrome and childhood autism. American Journal of Mental
Deficiency, 80, 431-436.
Hofferth, S.L., & Goldscheider, F. (2010). Family structure and the transition to early
parenthood. Demography, 47(2), 415–437.
Hughes, M. E., Waite, L. J., LaPierre, T. A., & Luo, Y. (2007). All in the family: The impact of
caring for grandchildren on grandparents' health. The Journals of Gerontology Series B:
Psychological Sciences and Social Sciences, 62(2), S108-S119.
Hughes, V. (2011). Researchers track down autism rates across the globe. Simons Foundation
Autism Research Initiative. Retrieved from http://sfari.org/news-and-
opinion/news/2011/researchers-track-down-autism-rates-across-the-globe
Hughes, R. (1999). An investigation of coping skills of parents of children with disabilities.
186 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
Education and Training in Mental Retardation and Developmental Disabilities, 34, 271–
280.
Hulley, S.B., Cummings, S.R., Browner, W.S., Grady, D.G., & Newman, B.T. (2007). Designing
clinical research (3rd ed.). Philadelphia, PA: Lippincott Williams & Wilkins.
Hungerbuehler, I., Vollrath, M. E., & Landolt, M. A. (2011). Posttraumatic growth in mothers
and fathers of children with severe illnesses. Journal of Health Psychology, 16(8), 1259-
1267.
Hussain, D. (2010). Healing through writing: Insights from research. The International Journal
of Mental Health Promotion, 12(2), 19-23. DOI: 10.1080/14623730.2010.9721810
Huston, T.L., & Holmes, E.K. (2004). Becoming parents. In: A. Vangelisti (Ed.), Handbook of
family communication, pp. 105–133.Mahwah, NJ: Lawrence Erlbaum Associates.
Huws, J. C., Jones, R. S., & Ingledew, D. K. (2001). Parents of children with autism using an
email group: A grounded theory study. Journal of Health Psychology, 6(5), 569-584.
Janoff-Bulman, R., & Frantz, C. M. (1997). The impact of trauma on meaning: From
meaningless world to meaningful life. In M. Power & C. R. Brewin (Eds.), The
transformation of meaning in psychological therapies (pp. 91–106). New York, NY:
Wiley.
Joseph, S. (2019). Posttraumatic growth as a process and an outcome: Vexing problems and
paradoxes seen from the perspective of humanistic psychology. The Humanistic
Psychologist. Advance online publication. https://doi.org/10.1037/hum0000156
Joseph, S., & Linley, P. A. (2008). Psychological assessment of growth following adversity: A
review. Trauma, recovery, and growth: Positive psychological perspectives on
posttraumatic stress, 21-38.
187 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
Johnson, S. L., Elam, K., Rogers, A. A., & Hilley, C. (2018). A meta-analysis of parenting
practices and child psychosocial outcomes in trauma-informed parenting interventions
after violence exposure. Prevention science, 19(7), 927-938.
Juster, R.-P., McEwen, B.S., & Lupien, S.J. (2010). Allostatic load biomarkers of chronic stress
and impact on health and cognition. Neuroscience and Biobehavioral Reviews, 35, 2–16.
Kahneman, D., Krueger, A. B., Schkade, D. A., Schwarz, N., & Stone, A. A. (2004). A survey
method for characterizing daily life experience: The day reconstruction method. Science,
306(5702), 1776-1780.
Kalmijn, M. (2012). Longitudinal analyses of the effects of age, marriage, and parenthood on
social contacts and support. Advances in Life Course Research, 17(4), 177-190.
Kaminsky, L., & Dewey, D. (2002). Psychosocial adjustment in siblings of children with autism.
Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry, 43(2), 225–232.
Kamp Dush, C.M., Cohan, C.L., & Amato, P.R. (2003). The relationship between cohabitation
and marital quality and stability: Changes across cohorts? Journal of Marriage and
Family, 65, 539–549.
Kasari, C., & Sigman, M. (1997). Linking parental perceptions to interactions in young children
with autism. Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders, 27(1), 39– 57.
Katz-Wise, S. L., Priess, H. A., & Hyde, J. S. (2010). Gender-role attitudes and behavior across
the transition to parenthood. Developmental Psychology, 46(1),18.
Kaufman, B.N., & Kaufman, R. (1995). Son-Rise: The miracle continues. Novato, CA: H.J.
Kramer.
Kayfitz, A. D., Gragg, M. N., & Orr, R. (2010). Positive experiences of mothers and fathers of
188 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
children with autism. Journal of Applied Research in Intellectual Disabilities, 23(4), 337-
343.
Kearney, P., & Griffin, T. (2001). Between sorrow and joy: being the parent of a child with
developmental disability. Journal of Advanced Nursing, 34 (5), 582–592.
Keen, D., Couzens, D., Muspratt, S., Rodger, S. (2010). The effects of a parent-focused
intervention for children with a recent diagnosis of autism spectrum disorder on parenting
stress and competence. Research in Autism Spectrum Disorders, 4(2), 229-241.
Keenan, M., Dillenburger, K., Doherty, A., Byrne, T., & Gallagher, S. (2010).The experiences of
parents during diagnosis and forward planning for children with autism spectrum
disorder. Journal of Applied Research in Intellectual Disabilities, 23(4), 390–397.
Keenan, B.M., Newman, L.K., Gray, K.M., & Rinehart, N.J. (2016). Parents of children with
ASD experience more psychological distress, parenting stress, and attachment-related
anxiety. Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders, 46(9), 2979-2991.
Keizer, R., Dykstra, P. A., & Poortman, A. R. (2010). The transition to parenthood and well-
being: the impact of partner status and work hour transitions. Journal of family
psychology, 24(4), 429.
Kelledy L., Lyons B. (2019) Circular Causality in Family Systems Theory. In: Lebow J.L.,
Chambers, A.L., & Breunlin, D.C. (Eds), Encyclopedia of Couple and Family Therapy.
Cham, Switzerland: Springer.
Kenrick, D. T., Griskevicius, V., Neuberg, S. L., & Schaller, M. (2010). Renovating the pyramid
of needs: Contemporary extensions built upon ancient foundations. Perspectives on
Psychological Science, 5(3), 292-314.
189 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
Kepreotes, E., Keatinge, D., Stone, T. (2010). The experience of parenting children with chronic
health conditions: a new reality. Journal of Nursing and Healthcare of Chronic Illness,
2(1), 51-62.
Kerr, S., & McIntosh, J. (2000).Coping When a Child Has a Disability: Exploring the Impact of
Parent-to-Parent Support. Child: Care, Health and Development, 26, 309–321.
Khamis, V. (2007).Psychological distress among parents of children with mental retardation in
the United Arab Emirates. Social Science & Medicine, 64(4), 850-857.
Kheir, N., Ghoneim, O., Sandridge AL, Al Ismail, M., Hayder, S., & Al-rawi, F. (2012) Quality
of life of caregivers of children with autism in Qatar. Autism, 16, 293–298.
Kim, H.W., Greenberg, J.S., Seltzer, M.M., & Krauss, M.W. (2003). The role of coping in
maintaining the psychological well-being of mothers of adults with intellectual disability
and mental illness. Journal of Intellectual Disability Research, 47 (4/5), 313–327.
King, G.A., Zwaigenbaum, L., King, S., Baxter, D., &Rosenbaum, P. (2006).A qualitative
investigation of changes in belief systems of families of children with autism or Down
syndrome. Child: Care, Health and Development, 32(3), 353-369.
Kinnear, S. H., Link, B. G., Ballan, M. S., & Fischbach, R. L. (2016). Understanding the
experience of stigma for parents of children with autism spectrum disorder and the role
stigma plays in families’ lives. Journal of autism and developmental disorders, 46(3),
942-953.
Kluwer, E. S., & Johnson, M. D. (2007). Conflict frequency and relationship quality across the
transition to parenthood. Journal of Marriage and Family, 69(5), 1089-1106.
Knight, C. (2019). Trauma informed practice and care: Implications for field instruction. Clinical
Social Work Journal, 47(1), 79-89.
190 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
Knoester, C., &Eggebeen, D.J. (2006). The effects of the transition to parenthood and subsequent
children on men’s well-being and social participation. Journal of Family Issues, 27,
1532–1560.
Kobak, R., & Madsen, S.D. (2008). The emotional dynamics of disruptions in attachment
relationships: Implications for theory, research, and clinical intervention. In: J. Cassidy &
P.R. Shaver (Eds.), Handbook of attachment, 2 (pp. 23–47). New York, NY: Guilford
Press.
Koegel, R., Schreibman, L., Loos L.M., & Dirlich-Wilhelm, H. (1992). Consistent stress profile
in mothers of children with ASD. Journal of ASD & Developmental Disorders, 22, 205-
216.
Koegel, R.L., Vernon, T.W., & Koegel, L.K. (2009). Improving social initiations in young
children with autism using reinforcers with embedded social interactions. Journal of
Autism and Developmental Disorders, 39(9), 1240-1251.
Kogan, M. D., Vladutiu, C. J., Schieve, L. A., Ghandour, R. M., Blumberg, S. J., Zablotsky, B.,
... & Lu, M. C. (2018). The prevalence of parent-reported autism spectrum disorder
among US children. Pediatrics, 142(6), e20174161.
Konrad, S. C. (2006). Posttraumatic growth in mothers of children with acquired disabilities.
Journal of Loss and Trauma, 11, 101–113.
Koob, G., & Le Moal, M. (2001). Drug addiction, dysregulation of reward, and allostasis.
Neuropsychopharmacology, 24, 97–129.
Koropeckyj-Cox, T., Pienta, A.M., & Brown, T.H. (2007). Women of the 1950s and the
“normative” life course: The implications of childlessness, fertility timing, and marital
191 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
status for psychological well-being in late midlife. International Journal of Aging and
Human Development, 64, 299–330.
Kozlowski, A.M., Matson, J.L., Horovitz, M., Worley, J.A. & Neal, D. (2011).Parents’ first
concerns of their child’s development in toddlers of Autism Spectrum Disorder.
Developmental Neurorehabilitation, 14(2), 72-78.
Kraus, Lewis. (2017). 2016 Disability Statistics Annual Report. Durham, NH: University of New
Hampshire.
Kurtz, L.A. (2008). Understanding controversial therapies for children with autism, attention
deficit disorder, and other learning disabilities: A guide to complementary and
alternative therapies. Vancouver, Canada: Singing Dragon Books.
Landsman, G. (2003). Emplotting children’s lives: Developmental delay vs. disability. Social
Science & Medicine, 56(9), 1947-1960.
Lang, F. R., Reschke, F. S., & Neyer, F. J. (2006). Social relationships, transitions, and
personality development across the life span. In D. K. Mroczek & T. D. Little (Eds.),
Handbook of personality development (pp. 445 - 466). Mahwah, NJ: Lawrence Erlbaum.
Larson E. (1998). Reframing the meaning of disability to families: The embrace of
paradox. Social Science & Medicine, 47(7), 865–875.
Lawrence, E., Cobb, R.J., Rothman, A.D., Rothman, A.T., & Bradbury, T. N. (2008).Marital
satisfaction across the transition to parenthood. Journal of Family Psychology, 22(1), 41–
50.
Lawson, A., Murphy, K.E., Sloan, E., Uleryk, E., & Dalfen, A. (2015). The relationship between
sleep and postpartum mental disorders: A systematic review. Journal of Affect Disorders,
176, 65-77.
192 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
Lazarus, R.S. (1990). Theory-based stress measurement. Psychological Inquiry, 1(1), 3–13.
Lazarus, R.S., & Folkman, S. (1984). Stress, appraisal, and coping. New York, NY: Springer.
Lazarus, R.S., & Folkman, S. (1986). Cognitive theories of stress and the issue of circularity. In:
M.H. Appley & R. Trumbull (Eds.), Dynamics of stress (pp. 63-80). The Plenum Series
on Stress and Coping. Boston, MA: Springer.
LeBlanc, A.J., Frost, D.M., & Wight, R.G. (2015). Minority stress and stress proliferation among
same-sex and other marginalized couples. Journal of Marriage and Family, 77(1), 40-59.
Lee, D.B., & Brosziewski, A. (Eds.) (2009). Observing society: Meaning, communication, and
social systems. Amherst, NY: Cambria Press.
Lempers, J.D., Clark-Lempers, D., & Simon, R.L. (1989). Economic hardship, parenting and
distress in adolescence. Child Development, 60, 25–39.
Lepore, S. J., & Revenson, T. A. (2006). Resilience and Posttraumatic Growth: Recovery,
Resistance, and Reconfiguration. In L. G. Calhoun & R. G. Tedeschi (Eds.), Handbook of
posttraumatic growth: Research & practice (pp. 24-46). Mahwah, NJ, US: Lawrence
Erlbaum Associates Publishers.
Lim, J-W. (2018). The role of post-traumatic growth in promoting healthy behavior for couples
coping with cancer. Supportive Care in Cancer ( IF 2.635 ). DOI: 10.1007/s00520-018-
4359-y
Linley, P.A., & Joseph, S. (2004). Positive change following trauma and adversity: A review.
Journal of Traumatic Stress, 17(1), 11-21.
Litt, M.D, & Tennen, H. (2015). What are the most effective coping strategies for managing
chronic pain? Pain Management, 5(6), 403-406.
193 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
Ljungman, L., Boger, M., Ander, M., Ljótsson, B., Cernvall, M., von Essen, L., & Hovén, E.
(2016).Impressions that last: Particularly negative and positive experiences reported by
parents five years after the end of a child's successful cancer treatment or death. PLoS
One, 11(6), e0157076.
Lloyd, T., & Hastings, R. (2009). Parental locus of control and psychological well-being in
mothers of children with intellectual disability. Journal of Intellectual & Developmental
Disability, 34(2), 104-115.
Lo, L. (2010). Perceived benefits experienced in support groups for Chinese families of children
with disabilities. Early Child Development and Care, 180(3), 405-415.
Lounds, J., Seltzer, M. M., Greenberg, J. S., & Shattuck, P. T. (2007). Transition and change in
adolescents and young adults with autism: Longitudinal effects on maternal well-being.
American Journal on Mental Retardation, 112(6), 401-417.
Lowe, S.R., Manove, E.E., & Rhodes, J.E. (2013). Posttraumatic stress and posttraumatic growth
among low-income mothers who survived hurricane Katrina. Journal of Consulting and
Clinical Psychology.
Lu, L. (2006). The transition to parenthood: Stress, resources, and gender differences in a
Chinese society. Journal of Community Psychology, 34, 471–488.
Ludlow, A., Skelly, C., & Rohleder, P. (2012). Challenges faced by parents of children
diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder. Journal of Health Psychology, 17(5), 702-11.
Luthar, S.S. (2006). Resilience in development: A synthesis of research across five decades. In:
D. Cicchetti, D.J. Cohen (Eds.), Developmental psychopathology, Vol. 3: Risk, disorder,
and adaptation (pp. 739–795) (2nd ed.). Hoboken, NJ: Wiley.
194 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
Lyons, A. M., Leon, S. C., Phelps, C. E. R., & Dunleavy, A. M. (2010). The impact of child
symptom severity on stress among parents of children with ASD: The moderating role of
coping styles. Journal of Child and Family Studies, 19(4), 516-524.
Macks, R. J., & Reeve, R. E. (2007). The adjustment of non-disabled siblings of children with
Autism. Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders, 37(6), 1060-1067.
Malhi, P., & Singhi, P. (2014). A retrospective study of toddlers with autism spectrum disorder:
Clinical and developmental profile. Annals of Indian Academy of Neurology, 17(1), 25-
29.
Mancil, G.R., Boyd, B.A., & Bedesem, P. (2009). Parental stress and Autism: Are there useful
coping strategies? Education and Training in Developmental Disabilities, 44(4), 523-537.
Mandell, D. S., Listerud, J., Levy, S. E., & Pinto-Martin, J. A. (2002). Race differences in the
age at diagnosis among Medicaid-eligible children with autism. Journal of the American
Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry, 41(12), 1447-1453.
Manne, S., Ostroff, J., Winkel, G., Goldstein, L., Fox, K., & Grana, G. (2004). Posttraumatic
growth after breast cancer: patient, partner, and couple perspectives. Psychosomatic
Medicine, 66(3), 443-454.
Manning, M. M., Wainwright, L., & Bennett, J. (2011). The double ABCX model of adaptation
in racially diverse families with a school-age child with autism. Journal of autism and
developmental disorders, 41(3), 320-331.
Manning, W., Smock, P., & Majumdar, D. (2004). The relative stability of cohabiting and
marital unions for children. Population Research and Policy Review, 6, 135–59.
Mansell, W., & Morris, K. (2004).A survey of parents’ reactions to the diagnosis of an autistic
spectrum disorder by a local service. Autism, 8, 387–407.
195 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
Markoulakis, R., Fletcher, P. &Bryden, P. (2012). Seeing the glass half full: Benefits to the lived
experiences of female caregivers of children with autism. Clinical Nurse Specialist,
26(1), 48-56.
Marlowe, J., & Adamson, C. (2011). Teaching trauma: Critically engaging a troublesome term.
Social Work Education, 30(6), 623-634.
Marshall, C., & Rossman, G. B. (2011). Designing qualitative research. Sage Publications.
Marin, T.J., Chen, E., Munch, T., & Miller, G. (2009). Double exposure to acute stress and
chronic family stress is associated with immune changes in children with asthma.
Psychosomatic Medicine, 71, 378–384.
Maslow, A. (1970). Motivation and personality (2nd ed.). New York, NY: Harper & Row.
McAdams, D. P. (2001). The psychology of life stories. Review of General Psychology, 5, 100–
122.
McCubbin, H., Joy, C., Cauble, A., Comeau, A. E., Patterson, J., & Needle, R. (1980). Family
stress and coping: A decade review. Journal of Marriage and the Family, 42, 855-868.
McCubbin, H. I., & Patterson, J. M. (1983). The family stress process: the double ABCX model
of adjustment and adaptation. Marriage Fam. Rev. 6 7–37.
McCubbin, H.I., Thompson, A.I., & McCubbin, M.A. (1996). Resiliency in families: A
conceptual model of family adjustment and adaptation in response to stress and crises. In
H.I. McCubbin, A.I. Thompson, & M.A. Mccubbin (Eds.), Family assessment:
Resiliency, coping and adaptation - Inventories for research and practice (pp. 1–64).
Madison, WI: University of Wisconsin System.
196 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
McCubbin, H. I., Thompson, A. I., & McCubbin, M. A. (1996). Family assessment: Resiliency,
coping and adaptation: Inventories for research and practice. University of Wisconsin-
Madison, Center for Excellence in Family Studies.
McClain, L., & Cere, D. (Eds.). (2013). What Is Parenthood?: Contemporary Debates about the
Family. NYU Press.
McEwen, B.S. (2017). Stress: Homeostasis, rheostasis, reactive scope, allostasis and allostatic
load. In S. Fiedler, Reference Module in Neuroscience and Biobehavioral Psychology.
McGoldrick, M., & Shibusawa, T. (2012). The family life cycle. In F. Walsh (Ed.), Normal
family processes: Growing diversity and complexity (p. 375–398). New York, NY: The
Guilford Press.
McHale, S. M., Updegraff, K. A., & Feinberg, M. E. (2016). Siblings of youth with Autism
Spectrum Disorders: Theoretical perspectives on sibling relationships and individual
adjustment. Journal of autism and developmental disorders, 46(2), 589-602.
McLanahan, S.S., & Bumpass, L. (1988). Intergenerational consequences of family disruption.
American Journal of Sociology, 94, 130–52.
Meaden, H., Halle, J. & Ebata A.T. (2010). Families with children who have autism spectrum
disorders: Stress and support. Exceptional Children, 771, 7-36.
Meadan-Kaplansky, H., Halle, J. W., & Ebata, A. T. (2010). Families with children who have
Autism Spectrum Disorders: Stress and support. Exceptional Children, 77(1), 7-
36. https://doi.org/10.1177/001440291007700101
Mednick, L., Cogen, F., Henderson, C., Rohrbeck, C. A., Kitessa, D., Streisand, R. (2007). Hope
more, worry less: Hope as a potential resilience factor in mothers of very young children
with type 1 diabetes. Children's Health Care, 36(4), 385-396.
197 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
Meadan, H., Stoner, J.B., & Angell, M.E. (2010). Review of literature related to the social,
emotional, and behavioral adjustment of siblings of individuals with Autism Spectrum
Disorder. Journal of Developmental Physical Disabilities, 22(1), 83–100.
Meirsschaut, M., Roeyers, H., & Warreyn, P. (2010). Parenting in families with a child with
autism spectrum disorder and a typically developing child: Mothers’ experiences and
cognitions. Research in Autism Spectrum Disorders, 4(4), 661-669.
Meltzer, L. J., Sanchez-Ortuno, M. M., Edinger, J. D., & Avis, K. T. (2015). Sleep patterns,
sleep instability, and health related quality of life in parents of ventilator-assisted
children. Journal of Clinical Sleep Medicine: JCSM: Official Publication of the American
Academy of Sleep Medicine, 11(3), 251.
Merriam-Webster. (n.d.). Parenthood. In Merriam-Webster.com dictionary. Retrieved February
23, 2020, from https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/parenthood
Mickelson, K., Wroble, M., & Helgeson, V. (1999). Why my child? Parental attributions for
children’s special needs. Journal of Applied Social Psychology, 29, 1263.
Midgley, J., & Conley, A. (2010). Social work and social development: Theories and skills for
developmental social work. New York, NY: Oxford University Press.
Milshtein, S., Yirmiya, N., Oppenheim, D., Koren-Karie, N., & Levi, S. (2010). Resolution of
the diagnosis among parents of children with autism spectrum disorder: Associations
with child and parent characteristics. Journal of Autism & Developmental Disorders,
40(1), 89-99.
Miodrag, N., & Hodapp, R.M. (2010). Chronic stress and health among parents of children with
intellectual and developmental disabilities. Current Opinions in Psychiatry, 23(5),407-
411. doi: 10.1097/YCO.0b013e32833a8796. PMID: 20592593.
198 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
Miranda, A., Mira, A., Berenguer, C., Rosello, B., & Baixauli, I. (2019). Parenting stress in
mothers of children with autism without intellectual disability. Mediation of behavioral
problems and coping strategies. Frontiers in Psychology, 10, 464.
Misch D. A. (2000). Basic strategies of dynamic supportive therapy. The Journal of
Psychotherapy Practice and Research, 9(4), 173–189.
Monette, D. R., Sullivan, T. J., &DeJong, C. R. (2011). Applied social research: A tool for the
human services (8th ed.). Belmont, CA: Brooks/Cole-Thomas Learning.
Montanez, S. (2016). An Anthropological Perspective on the Prevalence of Autism.
Montes, G., & Halterman, J.S. (2008). Association of childhood autism spectrum disorders and
loss of family income. Pediatrics, 121(4), 21-26.
Moss, P., Eirinaki, V., Savage, S., & Howlin, P. (2019). Growing older with autism – The
experiences of adult siblings of individuals with autism. Research in Autism Spectrum
Disorders, 63, 42-51.
Mowder, B. A. (2005). Parent Development Theory: understanding parents, parenting
perceptions and parenting behaviors. Journal of Early Childhood and Infant
Psychology, 1, 45+.
Murray, C. E. (2006). Controversy, constraints, and context: Understanding family violence
through Family Systems Theory. The Family Journal, 14(3), 234–239.
Murray, K. J., Sullivan, K. M., Lent, M. C., Chaplo, S. D., & Tunno, A. M. (2019). Promoting
trauma-informed parenting of children in out-of-home care: An effectiveness study of the
resource parent curriculum. Psychological services, 16(1), 162.
Muscara, F., McCarthy, M. C., Hearps, S. J., Nicholson, J. M., Burke, K., Dimovski, A., ... &
199 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
Anderson, V. A. (2018). Featured article: trajectories of posttraumatic stress symptoms in
parents of children with a serious childhood illness or injury. Journal of Pediatric
Psychology, 43(10), 1072-1082.
Muscara, F., McCarthy, M. C., Woolf, C., Hearps, S. J. C., Burke, K., & Anderson, V. A. (2015).
Early psychological reactions in parents of children with a life threatening illness within a
pediatric hospital setting. European Psychiatry, 30(5), 555-561.
Myers, B.J., Mackintosh, V.H., & Goin-Kohel, R.P. (2009). “My greatest joy and my greatest
heart ache:” Parents’ own words on how having a child in the autism spectrum has
affected their lives and their families’ lives. Research in Autism Spectrum Disorders,
3(3), 670-684.
Nachshen, J. S., Garcin, N., & Minnes, P. (2005). Problem behavior in children with intellectual
disabilities: Parenting stress, empowerment and school services. Mental Health Aspects
of Developmental Disabilities.
National Resource Center for Healthy Marriage and Families (2015).
Working with Latino Individuals, Couples, and Families. Retrieved:
http://familybridgesusa.com/wpcontent/uploads/2013/05/NRCHMF_Latino_toolkit_LO
WRES.pdf
National Research Council (2001). Educating children with autism. National Academies Press.
NYS Interagency Task Force on Autism (2020). Retrieved from
https://opwdd.ny.gov/sites/default/files/documents/autism_interagencyreport.pdf
Neely-Barnes, S. L., Hall, H. R., Roberts, R. J., & Graff, J. C. (2011). Parenting a child with an
autism spectrum disorder: Public perceptions and parental conceptualizations. Journal of
Family Social Work, 14(3), 208-225.
200 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
Neimeyer, R. & Thompson, B. (2014). Meaning making and the art of grief therapy. In B.E.
Thomspon, & R.A. Neimeyer, Grief and the expressive arts: Practices for creating
meaning. London, UK: Routledge.
Nelson, A.M. (2002). A metasynthesis: Mothering other-than-normal children. Qualitative
Health Research, 12, 515–530.
Nelson, S. K., Kushlev, K., English, T., Dunn, E. W., & Lyubomirsky, S. (2013). In defense of
parenthood children are associated with more joy than misery. Psychological Science,
24(1), 3-10.
Newacheck, P. W. (1992). Characteristics of children with high and low usage of physician
services. Medical care, 30-42.
Newschaffer, C. J., Croen, L. A., Daniels, J., Giarelli, E., Grether, J. K., Levy, S. E., & Reynolds,
A. M. (2007). The epidemiology of Autism Spectrum Disorders. Annual Review of Public
Health, 28, 235-258.
Nilaweera, I., Doran, F., & Fisher, J. (2014). Prevalence, nature and determinants of postpartum
mental health problems among women who have migrated from South Asian to high-
income countries: a systematic review of the evidence. Journal of Affective Disorders,
166, 213-226.
Nilsson, D. (2007). Adapting coping theory to explain the concept of adjustment. Social Work in
Health Care, 45(2), 1-20.
Nolen-Hoeksema, S., & Davis, C.G. (1999). “Thanks for sharing that”: ruminators and their
social support networks. Journal of Personal and Social Psychology, 77, 801–814.
Nomaguchi, K. M., & Milkie, M. A. (2003). Costs and rewards of children: The effects of
becoming a parent on adults' lives. Journal of Marriage and Family, 65(2), 356-374.
201 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
Nyström, K., & Öhrling, K. (2004). Parenthood experiences during the child's first year:
Literature review. Journal of Advanced Nursing, 46(3), 319-330.
O’Brien, M.E. (2001). Living in a house of cards: family experiences with long-term childhood
technology dependence. Journal of Pediatric Nursing 16, 13–22.
O’Brien, M. (2007). Ambiguous loss in families of children with Autism Spectrum Disorders.
Family Relations, 56(2), 135-146.
Ogden, P., Minton, K., & Pain, C. (2006). Trauma and the body: A sensorimotor approach to
psychotherapy. New York, NY: W.W. Norton & Company.
Oka, T., & Shaw, I. (2003). Qualitative research in social work. DOI:10.13140/2.1.2794.4641
http://pweb.sophia.ac.jp/oka/papers/2000/qrsw/
Olsson, M. B., & Hwang, C. P. (2001). Depression in mothers and fathers of children with
intellectual disability. Journal of Intellectual Disability Research, 45, 535–543.
Ooi, K.L., Ong, Y.S., Jacob, S.A., Khan, T.M. (2016). A meta-synthesis on parenting a child
with autism. Neuropsychiatric Disease and Treatment, 12, 745-762.
Orsmond, G.I., & Seltzer, M.M. (2007). Siblings of individuals with autism spectrum disorders
across the life course. Mental Retardation and Developmental Disabilities Research
Reviews, 13(4), 313-320.
Orsmond, G. I., Kuo, H. Y., & Seltzer, M. M. (2009). Siblings of individuals with an Autism
Spectrum Disorder: Sibling relationships and wellbeing in adolescence and adulthood.
Autism, 13(1), 59-80.
Osborne, L. A., & Reed, P. (2008). Parents' perceptions of communication with professionals
during the diagnosis of autism. Autism, 12(3), 309-324.
PA Bureau of Supports for Autism and Special Populations (2020). Pennsylvania Autism Task
202 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
Force Report. Retrieved from https://paautism.org/resource/autism-task-force-report/
Pace, G. T., & Shafer, K. (2015). Parenting and depression differences across parental roles.
Journal of Family Issues, 36(8), 1001-1021.
Padgett, D. K. (2017). Qualitative methods in social work research. Sage Publications.
Palacios, J., & Sánchez-Sandoval, Y. (2006). Stress in parents of adopted children. International
Journal of Behavioral Development, 30(6), 481-487.
Papadopoulos, C., Lodder, A.M., Constantinou, G., & Ranhawa, G. (2019). Systematic review of
the relationship between autism stigma and informal caregiver mental health. Journal of
Autism Developmental Disorders, 49(4), 1665-1685.
Park, C. L. (2010). Making sense of the meaning literature: an integrative review of meaning
making and its effects on adjustment to stressful life events. Psychological Bulletin,
136(2), 257-301.
Park, C.L. (2013). The meaning-making model: The framework for understanding meaning,
spirituality, and stress-related growth in health psychology. The European Health
Psychologist, 15(2), 40-47.
Park, C.L., & Ai, A.L. (2006). Meaning making and growth: New directions for research on
survivors of trauma. Journal of Loss and Trauma, 11(5), 389-407.
Park, C.L., Edmondson, D., Blank, T., & Fenster, J.R. (2008). Meaning making and
psychological adjustment following cancer: The mediating roles of growth, life meaning,
and restored just-world beliefs. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 76(5),
863-875.
203 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
Parish, S.L., Rose, R.A., Dababnah, S., Yoo, J., & Cassiman, S.A. (2012).State-level income
inequality and family burden of U.S. families raising children with special health care
needs. Social Science & Medicine, 74(3), 399-407.
Parsons, T. (1951). The social system. Glencoe, IL: Free Press.
Patra, S., Arun, P., & Chava, B.S. (2015). Impact of psychoeducation intervention module on
parents of children with Autism Spectrum Disorders: A preliminary study. Journal of
Neuroscience in Rural Practice, 6(4), 529–535.
Patton, MQ. (2001). Qualitative Research and Evaluation Methods (2nd Edition). Thousand oaks, CA: Sage Publications.
Paulson, J.F., & Bazemore, S.D. (2010). Prenatal and postpartum depression in fathers and its
association with maternal depression: a meta-analysis. JAMA, 303(19), 1961-1969.
Paulson, J. F., Dauber, S., & Leiferman, J. A. (2006). Individual and combined effects of
postpartum depression in mothers and fathers on parenting behavior. Pediatrics, 118(2),
659-668.
Pearlin, L.I, Aneschensel, C.A., & Mullan, A.J. (1997). The forms and Mechanisms of stress
proliferation: The case of AIDS caregivers. Journal of health and Social Behavior, 38,
223-236.
Perren, S., Von Wyl, A., Bürgin, D., Simoni, H., & Von Klitzing, K. (2005). Depressive
symptoms and psychosocial stress across the transition to parenthood: Associations with
parental psychopathology and child difficulty. Journal of Psychosomatic Obstetrics &
Gynecology, 26(3), 173-183.
Perry, A. (2004). A model of stress in families of children with developmental disabilities:
204 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
Clinical and research applications. Journal on Developmental Disabilities, 11(1), 1–16.
Perry, A. (1989). Families of developmentally disabled children: Theoretical conceptualizations
of stress and a proposed new integrative model. Ph.D. Major Area Paper, York
University, Toronto, ON.
Phelps, K.W., Hodgson, J.L., McCammon, S.L. & Lamson, A.L. (2009a). Caring for an
individual with autism disorder: A qualitative analysis. Journal of Intellectual and
Developmental Disability, 34(1), 27-35.
Phipps, S., Larson, S., Long, A., & Rai, S. N. (2006). Adaptive style and symptoms of
posttraumatic stress in children with cancer and their parents. Journal of Pediatric
Psychology, 31(3), 298-309.
Picardi, A., Gigantesco, A., Tarolla, E., Stoppioni, V., Cerbo, R., Cremonte, M., … Nardocci, F.
(2018). Parental burden and its correlates in families of children with Autism Spectrum
Disorder: A multicentre study with two comparison groups. Clinical practice and
epidemiology in mental health (CP & EMH), 14, 143–176.
Pierret, C.R. (2006). The ‘sandwich generation’: women caring for parents and children. Monthly
Labor Review, September 2006. Retrieved from:
http://www.bls.gov/opub/mlr/2006/09/art1full.pdf
Pisula, E. (2002). Parents of children with autism: recent research findings. Psychiatria Polska,
36(1), 95-108.
Pisula, E., & Kossakowska, Z. (2010). Sense of coherence and coping with stress among mothers
and fathers of children with Autism. Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders,
40(12), 1485-1494.
205 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
Polkinghorne, D. E. (1995).Narrative configuration in qualitative analysis. International Journal
of Qualitative Studies in Education, 8(1), 5-23.
Poslawsky, I.E., Naber, F.B., Van Daalen, E., & Van Engeland, H. (2014). Parental reaction to
early diagnosis of their children's autism spectrum disorder: An exploratory study. Child
Psychiatry and Human Development, 45(3), 294-305.
Pottas, A. & Pedro, A. (2016). Experiences of father carers of children with Autism Spectrum
Disorder: An exploratory study. Journal of Psychology in Africa, 26(6), 551-554.
Retrieved from http://dx.doi.org/10.1080/14330237.2016.1250426
Pottie, C. G., & Ingram, K. M. (2008). Daily stress, coping, and well-being in parents of children
with autism: a multilevel modeling approach. Journal of Family Psychology, 22(6), 855.
Pozo, P., & Sarria, E. (2015). Still stressed but feeling better: Well-being in autism spectrum
disorder families as children become adults. Autism, 19(7), 805-813.
Price, B. (2002). Laddered questions and qualitative data research interviews. Journal of
Advanced Nursing, 37(3), 273-281.
Provost, M.A., & Tremblay, S. (1991). The newborn and the couple: adversaries or partners?
Sante Mentale au Quebec, 16(1), 235-250.
Raina, P., O'Donnell, M., Rosenbaum, P., Brehaut, J., Walter, S.D., Russell, D., Swinton,
M., Zhu, B., Wood, E. (2005). The health and well-being of caregivers of children with
cerebral palsy. Pediatrics, 115(6), e626-636.
Rangaswami, K. (1995). Parental attitude towards mentally retarded children. Indian Journal of
Clinical Psychology.
206 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
Reichow, B. (2012). Overview of meta-analyses on early intensive behavioral intervention for
young children with autism spectrum disorders. Journal of Autism and Developmental
Disorders, 42(4), 512-520.
Riessman, C. K. (2005). Narrative analysis. In C.K. Riesman, Narrative, memory & everyday life
(1-7). Huddersfield, UK: Huddersfield University Press.
Riessman, C. K. (2008).Narrative methods for the human sciences. Thousand Oaks, CA: Sage
Publications.
Resch, J. A., Benz, M. R., & Elliott, T. R. (2012). Evaluating a dynamic process model of
wellbeing for parents of children with disabilities: A multi-method analysis.
Rehabilitation Psychology, 57, 61–72.
Rholes, W.S., Simpson, J.A., Campbell, L., & Grich, J. (2001).Adult attachment and the
transition to parenthood. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 81(3), 421-435.
Rose, A. C. (2011). Parents' experiences of obtaining an autism spectrum disorder diagnosis.
Dissertation Abstracts International, 72.
Rothrauff , T., Cooney T. M. (2008). The role of generativity in psychological well-being: Does
it differ for childless adults and parents? Journal of Adult Development, 15, 148–159.
Rözer, J. J., Poortman, A. R., & Mollenhorst, G. (2017). The timing of parenthood and its effect
on social contact and support. Demographic Research, 36, 1889-1916.
Ruddick, W. (1979). Parents and life prospects. In O. O’Neill & W. Ruddick (Eds.), Having
children: Philosophical and legal reflections on parenthood (pp. 124-137). New York:
Oxford University Press.
Ruiz-Robledillo, N., De Andrés-García, S., Pérez-Blasco, J., González-Bono, E., &Moya-Albiol,
L. (2014). Highly resilient coping entails better perceived health, high social support and
207 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
low morning cortisol levels in parents of children with Autism Spectrum Disorder.
Research in Developmental Disabilities, 35(3), 686-695.
Russell, C. S. (1974). Transition to parenthood: Problems and gratifications. Journal of
Marriage and Family, 36, 294–302.
Rutherford, M., Singh-Roy, A., Rush, R., McCartney, D., O’Hare, A., & Forsyth, K. (2019).
Parent focused interventions for older children or adults with ASD and parent wellbeing
outcomes: A systematic review with meta-analysis. Research in Autism Spectrum
Disorders, 68, 101450.
Ryder, V., & Decker, C.A. (2015). Parents and their children (8th ed.). Tinley Park, IL: The
Goodheart-Willcox Co.
Safe, A., Joosten, A., & Molineux, M. (2012). The experiences of mothers of children with
Autism: Managing multiple roles. Journal of Intellectual & Developmental Disability, 37
(4), 294–302.
Salcuni, S., Miconi, D., Altoè, G., &Moscardino, U. (2015). Dyadic adjustment and parenting
stress in internationally adoptive mothers and fathers: the mediating role of adult
attachment dimensions. Frontiers in Psychology, 6, 1279.
SAMHSA. (2015). National center for trauma-informed care. Retrieved from
http://www.samhsa.gov/nctic
Samios, C., Pakenham, K. I., & Sofronoff, K. (2009). The nature of benefit finding in parents of
a child with Asperger syndrome. Research in Autism Spectrum Disorders, 3(2), 358-374.
Samsa, G.P., & Matchar, D.B. (2004). How strong is the relationship between functional status
and quality of life among persons with stroke? Journal of Rehabilitation Research and
Development, 41(3A), 279-282.
208 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
Sander, J. L., & Morgan, S. B. (1997). Family stress and management as perceived by parents of
children with Autism or Down syndrome: Implications for intervention. Child and
Family Behavior Therapy,19, 15–32.
Sandberg, J.F., & Hofferth, S.L. (2001). Changes in children’s time with parents: United States,
1981–1997. Demography,38, 423–436.
Santtila, P., Wager, I., Witting, K., Harlaar, N., Jern, P., Johansson, A., …& Sandnabba, N. K.
(2008). Discrepancies between sexual desire and sexual activity: Gender differences and
associations with relationship satisfaction. Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy, 34, 29-42.
Saxbe, D.E., Schetter, C.D., Guardino, C.M., Ramey, S.L., Shalowitz, M.U., Thorp, J., &Vance,
M. (2016). Sleep quality predicts persistence of parental postpartum depressive
symptoms and transmission of depressive symptoms from mothers to fathers. Annals of
Behavioral Medicine, 50(6), 862-875.
Scherzer, A. (1999). Coming to an understanding: Can parents and professionals learn to be
more realistic about a child’s disability? The Exceptional Parent, 29, 22.
Schor, E.L. (2003) Family pediatrics: Report of the Task Force on the Family. Pediatrics,
111(6.2), 1541-1571.
Schore, A. N. (2000). Attachment and the regulation of the right brain. Attachment & Human
Development, 2, 23–47.
Schore, A. N. (1994). Affect regulation and the origin of the self. Mahwah, NJ: Erlbaum.
Schroevers, M.J., Helgeson, V.S., Sanderman, R., Ranchor, A.V. (2010). Type of social support
matters for prediction of posttraumatic growth among cancer survivors. Psychooncology,
19(1), 46-53.
209 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
Scrogie, K., Wilgosh, L., & Sobsey, D. (2004). The experience of transformation in parents of
children with disabilities: Theoretical considerations. Developmental Disabilities
Bulletin.
Sears, S.R., Stanton, A.L., & Danoff-Burg, S. (2003). The yellow brick road and the emerald
city: benefit finding, positive reappraisal coping and posttraumatic growth in women with
early-stage breast cancer. Health Psychology, 22(5), 487-497.
Segers, S., Pennings, G., & Mertes, H. (2019). Getting what you desire: the normative
significance of genetic relatedness in parent–child relationships. Medicine, Health Care
and Philosophy, 22(3), 487-495.
Selimoglu, O., Ozdemir, S., Toret, G., & Ozkubat, U. (2013). An examination of the views of
parents of children with autism about their experiences at the post-diagnosis period of
Autism. International Journal of Early Childhood Special Education, 5(2), 162–167.
Seltzer, M. M., Almeida, D. M., Greenberg, J. S., Savla, J., Stawski, R. S., Hong, J., & Taylor, J.
L. (2009). Psychosocial and biological markers of daily lives of midlife parents of
children with disabilities. Journal of Health and Social Behavior, 50(1), 1-15.
Seltzer, M.M., Greenberg, J.S., Floyd, F.J., Pettee, Y., & Hong, J. (2001).Life course impacts of
parenting a child with a disability. American Journal of Mental Retardation, 106(3), 265-
286.
Selye, H. (1956). The stress of life. New York, NY: McGraw-Hill Book Co.
Sfard, A., & Prusak, A. (2005). Telling identities: In search of an analytic tool for investigating
learning as a culturally shaped activity. Educational Researcher, 34(4), 14–22. doi:
http://dx.doi.org/10.3102/0013189X034004014
210 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
Sharpley, C. F., Bitsika, V., & Efremidis, B. (1997). Influence of gender, parental health, and
perceived expertise of assistance upon stress, anxiety, and depression among parents of
children with autism. Journal of Intellectual and Developmental Disability, 22, 19–28.
Shilling, (2012). Alternate forms of adjustment in adult women survivors of CSA: the
relationship between wellness, resilience, and post-traumatic growth. Retrieved
from: https://libres.uncg.edu/ir/uncg/listing.aspx?id=9457
Shore, S. (2006). The importance of parents in the success of people with autism. In C. Ariel &
R. Naseef (Eds.), Voices from the spectrum: Parents, grandparents, siblings, people with
autism, and professionals share their wisdom. Philadelphia, PA: Kingsley.
Siklos, S., & Kerns, K. A. (2007). Assessing the diagnostic experiences of a small sample of
parents of children with Autism Spectrum Disorders. Research in Developmental
Disabilities, 28(1), 9-22.
Siman-Tov, A., & Kaniel, S. (2011). Stress and personal resource as predictors of the adjustment
of parents to autistic children: A multivariate model. Journal of Autism and
Developmental Disorders, 41(7), 879-890.
Simpson, J. A., Rholes, W. S., Campbell, L., Tran, S., & Wilson, C. L. (2003). Adult attachment,
the transition to parenthood, and depressive symptoms. Journal of personality and social
psychology, 84(6), 1172.
Singh, N.N., Lancioni, G.E., & Winton, A.S. (2014) Mindfulness-based positive behavior
support (MBPBS) for mothers of adolescents with autism spectrum disorder: effects of
adolescents’ behavior and parental stress. Mindfulness, 5, 646–657.
211 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
Sinnerbrink, I., Silove, D., Field, A., Steel, Z. & Manicavasagar, V. (1997). Compounding of
premigration trauma and postmigration stress in asylum seekers. The Journal of
Psychology, 131, 5, 463-470.
Siqveland, J., Hafstad, G., & Tedeschi, R.G. (2012). Posttraumatic growth in parents after a
natural disaster. Journal of Loss & Trauma, 17(6), 536-544.
Sloper, P. (2000). Predictors of distress in parents of children with cancer: A prospective study.
Journal of pediatric psychology, 25(2), 79-91.
Smith, C. P. (2000). Content analysis and narrative analysis. Handbook of research methods in
social and personality psychology, 313-335.
Smith, A., Joseph, S., & Das Nair, R. (2011). An interpretative phenomenological analysis of
posttraumatic growth in adults bereaved by suicide. Journal of Loss and Trauma, 16(5),
413-430.
Smith, K., Gabard, D., Dale, D., & Drucker, A. (1994). Parental opinions about attending parent
support groups. Children's Health Care, 23(2), 127-136.
Smith, L. E., Greenberg, J. S., Seltzer, M. M., & Hong, J. (2008). Symptoms and behavior
problems of adolescents and adults with autism: Effects of mother-child relationship
quality, warmth, and praise. American Journal of Mental Retardation, 113, 387–402.
Smith, S.D. (1984). Family stress theory: Review and critique. Paper presented at the Annual
Meeting of the National Council on Family Relations (San Francisco, CA, October 16-
20, 1984). Retrieved from: http://files.eric.ed.gov/fulltext/ED255819.pdf
Smith, T., Scahill, L., Dawson, G., Guthrie, D., Lord, C., Odom, S., & Wagner, A. (2007).
Designing research studies on psychosocial interventions in autism. Journal of Autism
and Developmental Disorders, 37, 354–366.
212 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
Smith-Nielsen, J., Tharner, A., Steele, H., Cordes, K., Mehlhase, H., &Vaever, M. S. (2016).
Postpartum depression and infant-mother attachment security at one year: The impact of
co-morbid maternal personality disorders. Infant Behavior and Development, 44, 148-
158.
Sofaer, S. (1999). Qualitative methods: what are they and why use them? Health Services
Research, 34(5 Pt 2), 1101-1118.
Spence, N. J. (2008). The long-term consequences of childbearing physical and psychological
well-being of mothers in later life. Research on Aging, 30(6), 722-751.
Splevins, K., Cohen, K., Bowley, J., & Joseph, S. (2010). Theories of posttraumatic growth:
Cross-cultural perspectives. Journal of Loss and Trauma, 15(3), 259-277.
Stanley, S.M., Rhoades, G.K., & Markman, H.J. (2006). Sliding vs. Deciding: Inertia and the
premarital cohabitation effect. Family Relations, 55, 499–509.
Stanley, S.M., Whitton, S.W., Markman, H.J. (2004). Maybe I do: Interpersonal commitment
and premarital or nonmarital cohabitation. Journal of Family Issues, 25, 496–519.
Steele, W., & Kuban, C. (2011). Trauma-informed resilience and posttraumatic growth (PTG).
Reclaiming Children and Youth, 20(3), 44.
Strecker, S., Hazelwood, Z.J. & Shakespeare-Finch, J.E. (2014) Post-diagnosis personal growth
in an Australian population of parents raising children with developmental disability.
Journal of Intellectual and Developmental Disability, 39(1), 1-9.
Szanton, S.L., Gill., J.G., & Thorpe, R.J. (2010). The society to cells model of resilience in older
adults. Annual Reviews of Gerontology and Geriatrics, 30, 5-34.
Tanyi, Z., Szluha, K., Nemes L., Kovács, & Bugán, A. (2013). Posttraumatic growth as
experienced by childhood cancer survivors and their families: a narrative synthesis of
213 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
qualitative and quantitative research. Journal of Pediatric Oncology Nursing, 30(4), 179-
197.
Tarakeshwar, N., & Pargament, K. I. (2001). Religious coping in families of children with
Autism. Focus on Autism and Other Developmental Disabilities, 16, 247–260.
Taubman-Ben-Ari, O. Findler, L. & Sharon, N. (2011). Personal growth in mothers: examination
of the suitability of the post traumatic growth inventory as a measurement tool. Women &
Health, 51(6), 604-622.
Taylor, J. L. (2009). Midlife impacts of adolescent parenthood. Journal of Family Issues, 30(4),
484-510.
Tedeschi, R.G., & Calhoun, L.G. (1996). The posttraumatic growth inventory: Measuring the
positive legacy of trauma. Journal of Traumatic Stress, 9, 455-471.
Tedeschi, R.G. & Calhoun, L.G. (2004). Posttraumatic growth: Conceptual foundations and
empirical evidence. Psychological Inquiry, 15, 1-18.
Tedeschi, R. G., & Calhoun, L. G. (2009). The clinician as expert companion. In C. L. Park, S.
C. Lechner, M. H. Antoni, & A. L. Stanton (Eds.), Medical illness and positive life
change: Can crisis lead to personal transformation? (pp. 215-235). Washington, DC,
US: American Psychological Association.
Tedeschi, R.G., & Calhoun, L.G. (2014, February 25). Appreciation of life: One of the five
domains of posttraumatic growth. Psychology Today. Retrieved from:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/beyond-resilience/201402/appreciation-life
Tedeschi, R.G., Calhoun, L.G., & Groleau, J.M. (2015). Clinical applications of posttraumatic
growth. In S. Joseph (Ed), Positive psychology in practice: Promoting human flourishing
in work, health, education and everyday life. (pp. 503-518). Hoboken, NJ: Wiley.
214 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
Tedeschi, R. G., Shakespeare-Finch, J., Taku, K., & Calhoun, L. G. (2018). Posttraumatic
growth: theory, research, and applications. Routledge.
Tek, S. & Landa, R.J. (2012). Differences in autism symptoms between minority and non-
minority toddlers. Journal Autism and Developmental Disorders, 42(9), 1967-1973.
Tozer, R., Atkin, K., & Wenham, A. (2013). Continuity, commitment and context: Adult siblings
of people with autism plus learning disability. Health & Social Care in the Community,
21(5), 480-488.
Tozer, R., & Atkin, K. (2015). ‘Recognized, valued and supported’? The experiences of adult
siblings of people with Autism plus learning disability. Journal of Applied Research in
Intellectual Disabilities, 28(4), 341-351.
Tripathi, N. (2015). Parenting style and parents’ level of stress having children with Autistic
Spectrum Disorder (CWASD): A study based on Northern India. Journal of
Neuropsychiatry, 1(7), 1-7.
Turnbull, A.P., Patterson, J. M. , Behr, S. K. , Murphy, D. L. , Marquis, J. G. , & Blue-Banning,
M. J. (Eds.) (1993). Cognitive coping, families, and disability. Baltimore, MD: Paul H.
Brookes Publishing Co.
Twenge, J. M., Campbell, W. K., & Foster, C. A. (2003). Parenthood and marital satisfaction: a
meta-analytic review. Journal of marriage and family, 65(3), 574-583.
Ullmann, E., Perry, S.W., Licinio, J., Wong, M-L., Dremencov, E., Zavjalov, E.L., Shevelev,
O.B., et al. (2019). From allostatic load to allostatic state – an endogenous sympathetic
strategy to deal with chronic anxiety and stress? Frontiers in Behavioral Neuroscience,
13, 47. DOI:10.3389/fnbeh.2019.00047
Umberson, D., & Gove, W. R. (1989). Parenthood and psychological well-being theory,
215 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
measurement, and stage in the family life course. Journal of Family Issues, 10(4), 440-
462.
Umberson, D., Pudrovska, T., & Reczek, C. (2010). Parenthood, childlessness, and well-being:
A life course perspective. Journal of Marriage and Family, 72(3), 612-629.
Vandepitte, S., Van Den Noortgate, N., Putman, K., Verhaeghe, S., Verdonck, C., & Annemans,
L. (2016). Effectiveness of respite care in supporting informal caregivers of persons with
dementia: A systematic review. International Journal for Geriatric Psychiatry, 31(12),
1277-1288.
Van der Kolk, B. (1989). The compulsion to repeat the trauma: Reenactment, revictimization,
and masochism. Psychiatric Clinics of North America, 12, 389 ‐411.
van der Lee, J.H., Mokkin, L.B., Grootenhuis, M.A., Heymans, H.S.A., & Offringa, M. (2007).
Definitions and measurement of chronic health conditions in childhood. JAMA, 297,
2741–2751.
Van Vliet, L.M., & Epstein, A.S. (2014). Current state of the art and science of patient-clinician
communication in progressive disease: Patients’ need to know and need to feel known.
Journal of Clinical Oncology, 32(31), 3474–3478.
Ventola, P., Lei, J., Paisley, C., Lebowitz, E., & Silverman, W. (2017). Parenting a child with
ASD: Comparison of parenting style between ASD and typical development. Journal of
Autism and Developmental Disorders, 47(9), 2873-2884.
Vernhet, C., Dellapiazza, F., Blanc, N., Cousson-Gélie, F., Miot, S., Roeyers, H., & Baghdadli,
A. (2018). Coping strategies of parents of children with Autism Spectrum Disorder: A
systematic review. European Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, 28(6), 747-758. doi:
10.1007/s00787-018-1183-3.
216 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
Wagner, B., & Maercker, A. (2010). The diagnosis of complicated grief as a mental disorder: A
critical appraisal. Psychologica Belgica, 50(1-2), 27-48.
Waizbard-Bartov, E., Yehonatan-Schori, M., & Golan, O. (2019). Personal growth experiences
of parents to children with autism spectrum disorder. Journal of autism and
developmental disorders, 49(4), 1330-1341.
Waldman, H.B., Wong, A., & Perlman, S.P. (2012). Would you believe that about 1-in-5 U.S.
children has a disability? The Alpha Omegan, 105(1-2), 11-14.
Walsh, C. E., Mulder, E., & Tudor, M. E. (2013). Predictors of parent stress in a sample of
children with ASD: Pain, problem behavior, and parental coping. Research in Autism
Spectrum Disorders, 7, 256–264.
Wang, T., & Anderson, J.A. (2018). Predicting caregiver strain to improve supports for the
caregivers of children with emotional and behavioral disorders. Journal of Family Issues,
39(4), 896-916.
Wang, P., Michaels, C.A. & Day, M.S. (2011).Stresses and coping strategies of Chinese families
with children with autism and other developmental disabilities. Journal of Autism and
Developmental Disorders, 41, 783-795.
Ward, B. W. (2014). Stress proliferation. In W.C. Cockerham, R. Dingwall, & S.R. Quah, The
Wiley Blackwell Encyclopedia of health, illness, behavior, and society (pp. 2346-2348).
Birmingham, AL: John Wiley & Sons.
Warren, Z., McPheeters, M.L., Sathe, N., Foss-Feig, J.H., Glasser, A., & Veenstra-Vanderweele,
J. (2011). A systematic review of early intensive intervention for Autism Spectrum
Disorders. Pediatrics, 127(5):e1303.
Wayment, H. A., Al-Kire, R., & Brookshire, K. (2019). Challenged and changed: Quiet ego and
217 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
posttraumatic growth in mothers raising children with autism spectrum disorder. Autism,
23(3), 607-618.
Weiss, J. A., Isaacs, B., Diepstra, H., Wilton, A. S., Brown, H. K., McGarry, C., & Lunsky, Y.
(2018). Health concerns and health service utilization in a population cohort of young
adults with Autism Spectrum Disorder. Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders,
48(1), 36-44.
Weiss, S.J. (1991). Stressors experienced by family caregivers of children with pervasive
developmental disorders. Child Psychiatry Human Development, 21, 203-216.
Weiss, T., & Berger, R. (2010).Posttraumatic growth and culturally competent practice: Lessons
learned from around the globe. Hoboken, NJ: John Wiley & Sons.
White, M. P., & Dolan, P. (2009). Accounting for the richness of daily activities. Psychological
Science, 20, 1000 –1008.
Wickrama, K. A. S., Lorenz, F. O., Wallace, L. E., Peiris, L., Conger, R. D., & Elder, G. H.
(2001). Family influence on physical health during the middle years: The case of onset of
hypertension. Journal of Marriage and Family, 63(2), 527-539.
Wilson, D. R. (2010). Stress management for adult survivors of childhood sexual abuse: A
holistic inquiry. Western Journal of Nursing Research, 32(1), 103-127.
Wong, V., Yu, Y., Keyes, M. L., & McGrew, J. H. (2017). Pre-diagnostic and diagnostic stages
of Autism Spectrum Disorder: A parent perspective. Child Care in Practice, 23(2), 195-
217.
Woodgate, R. L., Ateah, C., & Secco, L. (2008). Living in a world of our own: The experience of
parents who have a child with autism. Qualitative health research, 18(8), 1075-1083.
Wu, K.K., Tang, C.S., & Leung, E.Y. (2011). Healing trauma: A professional guide. Pokfulam,
218 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
Hong Kong: Hong Kong University Press.
Wu, X., Kaminga, A., Dai, W., Deng, J., Wang, Z., Pan, X., & Liu, A. (2019). The prevalence of
moderate-to-high posttraumatic growth: A systematic review and meta-analysis. Journal
of Affective Disorders, 243, 408-415.
Xinchun, W., Xiao, Z., Yufei, W., & Yuanyuan, A. (2015). The role of rumination in
posttraumatic stress disorder and posttraumatic growth among adolescents after the
wenchuan earthquake. Frontiers in Psychology, 6. DOI:10.3389/ fpsyg.2015.01335
Xuji, J., Xia, L., Liuhua, Y., Chongde, L. (2017). Longitudinal relationships between social
support and Posttraumatic Growth among adolescent survivors of the Wenchuan
earthquake. Frontiers in Psychology, 8, 1275. Yamaoka, Y., Tamiya, N., Moriyama, Y.,
Garrido, F. A. S., Sumazaki, R., & Noguchi, H. (2015). Mental Health of Parents as
Caregivers of Children with Disabilities: Based on Japanese Nationwide Survey. PloS
one, 10(12), e0145200.
Yirmiya, N., & Shaked, M. (2005). Psychiatric disorders in parents of children with autism: A
meta-analysis. The Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry and Allied Disciplines,
46, 69–83.
Yui, Y., Nanako, T., Yoko, M.,Garrido, F.A.S., Sumazaki, R., Noguchi, H., & Lin, H. (Ed.)
(2015). Mental health of parents as caregivers of children with disabilities: Based on
Japanese Nationwide Survey. PLOS One, 10(12): e0145200.
Zerach, G., Solomon, Z., Cohen, A., & Ein-Dor, T. (2013). PTSD, resilience and posttraumatic
growth among ex-prisoners of war and combat veterans. Isr J Psychiatry Relat Sci, 50(2),
91-99.
219 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
Zerach, G. (2020). Posttraumatic growth among combat veterans and their siblings: A dyadic
approach. Journal of Clinical Psychology, 76(9), 1719-1735.
Zhang, W., Du, Y. & Liu, X. (2013). Researches on the posttraumatic growth of parents of
children with autism and its enlightenment. Chinese Journal of Clinical Psychology,
21(1), 139-142.
Zhang, W., Yan, T.T., Barriball, K.L., While, A.E., & Liu H.X. (2015). Post-traumatic growth in
mothers of children with autism: A phenomenological study. Autism, 19(1), 29-37.
Zoellner, T., & Maercker, A. (2006). Post-traumatic growth in clinical psychology: A critical
review and introduction of a two-component model. Clinical Psychology Review, 26(5),
626-653.
Zuckerman, K.E., Sinche, B., Mejia, A., Cobian, M., Becker, T., & Nicolaidis, C. (2014). Latino
parents’ perspectives of barriers to autism diagnosis. Academic Pediatrics, 14(3), 301–
308.
Zwaigenbaum, L., Bryson, S., Rogers, T., Roberts, W., Brian, J., & Szatmari, P. (2005).
Behavioral manifestations of autism in the first year of life. International Journal of
Developmental Neuroscience, 23(2-3), 143-52.
220 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
APPENDICES
Appendix A
Announcing a Research Project Retrospectively Exploring the Experiences of
PARENTS of YOUNG-ADULTS
DIAGNOSED with AUTISM SPECTRUM DISORDER
If you are a parent of a young adult diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder, who is
currently between the ages of 18-26, and you feel that you have found benefits or perceived
growth through your parenting experience, please consider taking part in a study to help
enhance the understanding of your experience. Greater understanding of your experience
might help to develop supports and programs to assist parents as they navigate all kinds of
experiences, such as adjusting to the diagnosis and raising their children.
My name is Victoria Grinman. I am a social worker conducting this research as a requirement for
a Doctorate in Social Work at Adelphi University. If you take part in this study, I will meet with
you at a time and place convenient to you. Participation involves one interview of one to two hours,
221 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
and a review of the transcribed interview, once it is completed. All information will be kept
confidential within the limits allowed by the law.
You are eligible to participate in this study if you:
a) Have a child who was diagnosed with
Autism Spectrum Disorder, Pervasive Developmental Disorder-NOS,
and/or Asperger’s Syndrome;
b) Your child is 18-26 years old.
If you’d like to participate in this study or would like more information, please email me at
[email protected] or call at (646) 522-0628.
______________________________________________________________________________
Appendix B
Interview Guide
1. Please tell me a little about yourself.
Sample probe: Please elaborate on your background.
2. Please tell me a little about your family.
Sample probes:How many people are in your family? Who lives in your home? Who
used to live in your home?
Tell me a little bit more about your child/children
Tell a little bit about your role, duties or responsibilities within the family
3. Please describe where you have lived for the last few years.
4. Please tell me about the birth of your child.
Sample probe: Please describe any hopes you had about your child/ your life with your
child.
222 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
5. Please tell me what your life was like prior to your child’s diagnosis.
Sample probes: (If the parent prompted the evaluation) Please describe what you noticed
happening (specific behaviors, lacking eye contact, etc.) that prompted you to get your
child evaluated for ASD. Please describe your initial reactions or thoughts when you
noticed these behaviors.
6. Please tell me what kind of information you had about autism prior to the birth of your
child.
7. Please tell me about the diagnosis of your child with ASD.
Possible probes: Please describe how, and from whom, you received your child’s
diagnosis; at what age was your child diagnosed with ASD?
How long did you wait to receive an official diagnosis?
8. Please tell me about the period of time after you found out your child was diagnosed with
ASD.
(Probe) Tell me more and elaborate on what was “easy” during this time.
(Probe) Tell me more about what was “challenging” during this time.
9. Please tell me what your life was during the first few months after receiving your child’s
diagnosis.
(Probe) Who did you share the information with?
(Probe) What were some reactions from those you shared the information with?
(Probe) How did these reactions impact you? Please provide specific examples.
(Probe) Please tell me more about how it impacted your life overall and in different areas
of your life.
(Probe) Please tell me more about what was challenging.
223 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
(Probe) What was not as difficult as you might have thought?
(Probe) What was surprising to you, if anything?
(Probe) What is life like now?
10. How has your child’s diagnosis affect your family?
(Probe) (If respondent has a spouse/partner) What impact has it had on your marriage?
(Probe) (If respondent has other children) What impact has it had on your other
child(ren)?
11. Please describe the way in which you chose to cope with the diagnosis of your child
during the first year after the diagnosis?
12. How have your coping strategies changed over time? (At point of diagnosis, after the
diagnosis, elementary school years, middle school years, high school years, college, etc.)
13. During this period of time that your child was diagnosed, who or what was helpful to
you?
(Probe) Please describe the kind of emotional support you had when raising your child.
(Probe) Please describe the kind of financial support you had when raising your child.
(Probe) Please describe the kind of social support you had when raising your child.
(Probe) What kinds of thoughts have you had, if any, that were helpful to you during this
time?
(Probe) How do you feel you’ve dealt with challenges as time passed?
14. Please describe the role of religion and/or spirituality in your life before and after
receiving your child’s diagnosis.
15. Can you share how your later feelings about parenting your child?
(Probe) Have you been aware of any benefits gained from parenting your child?
224 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
(Probe) Can you tell me about any ways you feel you’ve experienced growth?
16. If you could go back in time, what would you have liked to know that you didn’t know
during your experience?
_____________________________________________________________________________`
ADELPHI UNIVERSITY
SCHOOL OF SOCIAL WORK
PH.D. PROGRAM
Appendix C
Title of Project: A Retrospective Look at the Lived Experiences of Parents of Children
Diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder
Principal Investigator: Victoria Grinman, MSW, LCSW-R
Address: Adelphi University School of Social Work
1 South Avenue
Garden City, NY 11530
Phone: (646) 522-0628
Email: [email protected]
Faculty Advisor: Roni Berger, PhD, LCSW
Research Consent Form
As part of my study as a doctoral candidate at Adelphi University’s School of Social Work, I am
conducting a research to learn about the experiences of parents whose children were diagnosed
with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) and who feel that they have grown and benefited from this
225 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
experience. You will be asked to participate in one in-depth interview that will take approximately
one to two hours. You will be invited to discuss your experience of the diagnosis of your child
with ASD and parenting your child over the years. After completion, you will have the opportunity
to review the transcribed interview. With your permission, the interview will be audio-recorded to
ensure accuracy of reporting. I will transcribe the audio files, and only I will have access to their
contents. A coding system will be used to identify participants, and only I will have access to the
code. All documents with your name will be kept in a separate file, and you will have the
opportunity to choose a pseudonym (code name) for your story. All information will be kept
strictly confidential to the extent permitted by law. There is one exception to confidentiality:
should you tell me that you are considering harming yourself or others, or are harming yourself or
others, I am mandated to notify the appropriate law enforcement agencies.
There are no known risks involving participation in this research study. However, the issues to be
discussed are sensitive in nature and may raise painful memories. You will be able to end the
interview at any point and decline to answer any question that makes you feel uncomfortable.
Should you become upset during the interview, I will provide you with a referral to a counselor at
no cost to you. Your signature below indicates that you understand all the requirements of taking
part in this study. Participation is voluntary.
By taking part in this research study, your input will contribute to the understanding of the
experience and needs of parents of children diagnosed with ASD, and how they can be best
supported by professionals in finding growing through their parenting experiences. Your time and
participation is greatly appreciated.
226 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
If you have any questions about this research, I can be reached at (646) 522-0628. If you have any
questions, comments or concerns, please contact my advisor, Dr. Roni Berger at
[email protected] at (516) 877-4365.
This research has been reviewed and approved by the Adelphi University Institutional Review
Board. If you have any questions, concerns or comments, please contact the IRB chair, Dr.
Carolyn Springer 516-877-4753; [email protected]
Victoria Grinman, MSW, LCSW-R
Adelphi University – School of Social Work
Participant’s Name (please print) ____________________________________________
Date___________________________________________________________________
Participant’s Signature_____________________________________________________
Consent for Audio Recording
My participation in this research project will be audio recorded. I consent to the recording of my
voice.
Participant’s Signature and Date______________________________________________
Addendum
The proposal for this study was born out of a passion for the Autism (ASD) community as
well as the commitment to educating providers and consumers of mental health services about
posttraumatic growth (PTG). The interest in this combined topic grew out of two separate life
227 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
experiences that came together as an area of research interest while I was completing my doctoral
coursework.
When I was in graduate school, my knowledge of ASD was limited to the knowledge I
gained from some textbooks and lectures. I admittedly had a pathological understanding of the
diagnosis as well as the limited understanding of treatment options for individuals living with the
diagnosis. From a Western cultural perspective, I understood that ASD was equal to a lifetime of
challenges for children and parents, filled with social ineptness, disconnection, odd behaviors and
many years of uncertainty with poor prognosis for change.
During my graduate career, I attended a two-day workshop in which I was serendipitously
introduced to a community of parents of children with ASD who displayed a different perspective
of ASD from what I was accustomed to; they spoke about loving their child(ren) with ASD,
describing how their lives have been forever positively changed and shifted due to having their
child in their lives. One by one, mothers, fathers and grandparents shared their positive views,
hopes and spoke of their children as “gifts”. I was stunned by what I experienced and became
evermore interested in the approaches these parents were taking to treatment and support, and how
it compared to the other parents I had met over the years who viewed their children as much
different.
As I progressed in my career and embarked on my doctoral studies, my interest in
supporting positive experiences in this population of parents blossomed. I trained and practiced
with methodologies that supported the interpersonal connectedness and joy of parents and their
children with ASD rather than utilizing approaching that focus on specific behavioral changes.
Years later, I was introduced to the PTG phenomenon by my current dissertation advisor
and then professor, Dr. Roni Berger. The connection was immediately sparked as I learned more
228 A RETROSPECTIVE EXPLORATION OF THE EXPERIENCE
about the concept: growth and benefit finding that is experienced by an individual or group, not
because of the trauma they experienced, but due to the struggle through which they go through
after the trauma. Among the many aspects of PTG that interested me, I felt the strengths based
perspective of this experience spoke loudly to my clients. While the clients I worked with coped
with anxiety, depression, helplessness and fear, the very fact that they were struggling with these
challenges spoke to their potential for experiencing PTG later on. PTG gave voice to the inherent
strengths in the experience of struggle, and turned what was normally a stigmatizing experience
into one of great courage.
Much of the literature on the experiences of parents of children with ASD is saturated with
negative aspects of the experience and less focus on the positive experiences of having children
with ASD. I am interested in exploring the parenthood experiences of parents of young adult
children with ASD who self-identify as having experienced benefits and growth, so I can shed
light to the whole spectrum of experiences that can manifest. My hopes are to help fill a small gap
in the literature and perhaps (in the not so distant future) continue research that might add to the
understanding of various treatments and approaches that might support the facilitation of PTG in
this community.