Sampler Step By Step Series from MTL

The Step-by-Step Series:

Free Sampler

A selection of modules from the Step by Step Series, including The Appraisal

Interview, Empowering People, Working With Conflict, Positivity, Teamwork... and

much more

The Step By Step Free Sampler: Appraisal Skills to Time Management

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Table of Contents

1. The Appraisal Interview ............................................ 8

1. Appraisal Interviews ................................................... 8

2. The Aims of Appraisal ................................................. 9

3. 2-2-2 Preparation ...................................................... 9

4. A Relaxed Environment ............................................ 10

5. The Shape of Appraisals ........................................... 10

6. The Reality Bridge ................................................... 11

7. Contracting ............................................................. 11

8. Classic Structures .................................................... 12

9. Agendas ................................................................. 12

10. Interview Tone ........................................................ 13

11. 3D Interview Skills ................................................... 13

12. Containing Stress .................................................... 14

13. Staying in Control .................................................... 14

14. Empowering People .................................................. 15

2. Responding to Change ............................................. 15

15. Responding to Change .............................................. 16

16. Do Nothing ............................................................. 16

17. Reasons Not to Change ............................................ 17

18. Discounting ............................................................. 17

19. Excuses, Excuses ..................................................... 18

20. Do Anything ............................................................ 18

21. Do Everything ......................................................... 19

22. Change Indigestion .................................................. 19

23. Defy Change ........................................................... 20

24. Resistance to Change ............................................... 20

25. Tinkering Around the Edges ...................................... 20

26. Evolution ................................................................ 21

27. Rely on Others ........................................................ 21

28. Manage Change ....................................................... 22

3. Dispositions of Counselling ..................................... 22

29. Dispositions ............................................................ 23

30. Warmth .................................................................. 23

31. Empathy ................................................................. 24

32. Empathy is not Sympathy ......................................... 24

33. Do It Anyway .......................................................... 25




34. Specificity ............................................................... 25

35. Don't Ask Why? ....................................................... 26

36. Gestalt Therapy ....................................................... 26

37. Here and Now ......................................................... 27

38. Genuineness ........................................................... 27

39. A Genuine Relationship ............................................. 28

40. Confidentiality ......................................................... 28

41. Three Secrets .......................................................... 29

42. Professional Distance ............................................... 29

43. The Touch of Integrity .............................................. 30

44. Confronting ............................................................. 30

45. Self-Renewal ........................................................... 31

46. Five Golden Rules .................................................... 31

4. DIY Empowerment .................................................. 32

47. DIY Empowerment ................................................... 32

48. Break Free .............................................................. 33

49. Never Wait For Them ............................................... 33

50. Self-Empowerment .................................................. 34

51. The Meaning of Commitment ..................................... 34

52. Own the Job ............................................................ 35

53. Self-Development .................................................... 35

54. Be the Best ............................................................. 36

55. Zen It .................................................................... 36

56. Concentration .......................................................... 37

57. A State of Flow ........................................................ 37

58. Adding Value ........................................................... 38

59. Shine Your Light ...................................................... 38

5. Empowering People ................................................. 39

60. Being Open ............................................................. 39

61. Time and Space ....................................................... 39

62. Freedom ................................................................. 40

63. Language................................................................ 40

64. Tolerance ............................................................... 41

65. Valuing ................................................................... 41

66. Owning ................................................................... 42

67. Never Say You Have To ............................................ 42

68. Not Doing It For Them .............................................. 43

69. Boomerang Questions .............................................. 43




70. Answer A Question With A Question ........................... 44

71. Weaving ................................................................. 44

72. Sharing .................................................................. 44

73. Releasing Their Power .............................................. 45

74. Volunteering ........................................................... 45

75. Non-Rescuing .......................................................... 46

76. Offering Options ...................................................... 46

77. Letting Them Grow .................................................. 47

78. Letting Go ............................................................... 47

79. Levels of Learning .................................................... 48

80. Learning How to Learn ............................................. 49

81. Bateson’s Dolphins ................................................... 49

82. States of Personhood ............................................... 49

83. Man’s Divinity.......................................................... 50

6. Working with Conflict .............................................. 51

84. The Negative View of Conflict .................................... 51

85. The Positive View of Conflict ...................................... 52

86. Options in Conflict ................................................... 52

87. No Deal .................................................................. 53

88. I Win, You Lose ....................................................... 53

89. The Peace of Conquest ............................................. 53

90. I Lose, You Win ....................................................... 54

91. Win At All Costs ....................................................... 54

92. The £5 Auction ........................................................ 55

93. Compromise ............................................................ 55

94. Win-Win ................................................................. 56

95. Working With Conflict ............................................... 56

96. Power Negotiations .................................................. 56

97. Positional Negotiations ............................................. 57

98. Principled Negotiations ............................................. 57

99. The Three Phases .................................................... 58

7. People Builders ....................................................... 58

100. How to Build People ............................................... 58

101. Sowing Habits ....................................................... 59

102. The Habit Score .................................................... 59

103. Coaxing Out Skills ................................................. 60

104. Coaching .............................................................. 60

105. Building the Team ................................................. 61




106. Removing Limitations ............................................ 61

107. The Pygmalion Effect ............................................. 62

108. Leading Out .......................................................... 62

109. Where Training Leads ............................................ 63

110. Empowering ......................................................... 63

111. The Builder ........................................................... 64

112. Working with Time ................................................ 64

113. The Leader Withdraws ........................................... 65

8. Positivity ................................................................. 65

114. What is Positivity? ................................................. 66

115. The Faces of Positivity ........................................... 66

116. The Self-Image ..................................................... 67

117. Gold .................................................................... 67

118. Positive Goals ....................................................... 68

119. Positive Expectations ............................................. 68

120. Salutation to the Dawn .......................................... 69

121. Positive Review ..................................................... 69

122. Giving Positive Feedback ........................................ 70

123. It's In the Words ................................................... 70

124. Igniters & Chloroforms ........................................... 71

125. Mix with Positive People ......................................... 71

126. The Electricity of Life ............................................. 72

127. Good Medicine ...................................................... 72

128. Positivity as Pain-Relief .......................................... 73

129. The Positivity Habit ............................................... 73

130. What You Think You Can... ..................................... 73

9. Teamwork ............................................................... 74

131. Acts of Teamwork ................................................. 74

132. Sharing ................................................................ 75

133. Sharing Goals ....................................................... 75

134. Living Goals .......................................................... 76

135. Asking for Help ..................................................... 76

136. Geese In Flight ..................................................... 77

137. A Can-Do Climate .................................................. 77

138. The 3 A's, not the 3 C's .......................................... 78

139. Valuing Others ...................................................... 79

140. The Familiarity Curve ............................................. 79

141. Trust ................................................................... 80




142. Constructive Feedback ........................................... 80

143. Convergent Thinking ............................................. 81

144. Groups and Teams ................................................ 81

145. Taking Risks ......................................................... 82

146. A Model of Change ................................................ 82

147. Team Morale ........................................................ 82

10. Time Travellers ....................................................... 83

148. Time Tendencies ................................................... 83

149. Nine Time Travellers .............................................. 84

150. The Perfectionist ................................................... 84

151. A Perfectionist's Time ............................................ 85

152. The Socialiser ....................................................... 85

153. A Socialiser's Time ................................................ 86

154. The Achiever ........................................................ 86

155. An Achiever's Time ................................................ 87

156. The Artist ............................................................. 87

157. An Artist's Time .................................................... 87

158. The Analyser ........................................................ 88

159. An Analyser's Time ................................................ 88

160. The Doubter ......................................................... 89

161. A Doubter's Time .................................................. 89

162. The Hurrier ........................................................... 90

163. A Hurrier's Time .................................................... 90

164. The Rebel ............................................................. 91

165. A Rebel's Time ...................................................... 91

166. The Wanderer ....................................................... 92

167. A Wanderer's Time ................................................ 92




1. The Appraisal Interview

(Note: This module is taken from Step by Step to

Perfect Appraisals: 167 steps that will show you how

to turn the dreaded appraisal into the perfect

appraisal and create a high-performing team.)

Although appraisal is an ongoing process, it is the yearly, half-

yearly or irregularly-held appraisal interview that gives the whole

process focus and meaning. Employees in particular judge

schemes and the credibility of the appraisers by what happens

during the brief but all-important contact of the appraisal interview. Whatever lofty aims and purposes an appraisal scheme

may have, it is the quality of the one-to-one relationship and the

use of professional skills in an interview, that determine if appraisal is a success.

1. Appraisal Interviews

There are five principles which underlie

effective appraisal interviews...

1. the appraisal interview is not an isolated

event but should be part of ongoing

performance management 2. the manager's role is to help employees

perform successfully

3. in developmental appraisal, the interview is less about what the manager thinks than what the

employee thinks

4. the interview is more effective when it focuses on good

performance

5. the interview is more effective when it focuses on future plans.

These principles apply whether the appraisal is simple feedback,

review of work done, or a rating and assessment scheme.




2. The Aims of Appraisal

An appraising manager can pitch his or her sights in an appraisal

interview at any of three levels...

Level 1: to comply with the requirements of the appraisal

scheme; to fill in the form; to meet the deadline. This does nothing to enhance the boss-subordinate relationship or to

develop the employee.

Level 2: to review the employee's past performance. If the

interview is only about past performance, this can quickly lead to

an exchange of views, some of which may be contested. Reviewing past performance is only of value if it leads to

discussing future plans.

Level 3: to help the employee to develop his or her potential.

This turns the relationship into a rewarding one for both appraiser and appraisee and turns the interview into just one

step in an ongoing process.

3. 2-2-2 Preparation

The 2-2-2 Preparation technique manages the

preparation of an appraisal interview.

· about 2 weeks before the interview, set a

time, date and location for the interview.

Write it in your diary. Notify employees and say why it's important to attend. Give an

indication of how they can best prepare, for

example, by completing their part of the paperwork or self-assessing.

· about 2 days before, complete any discussions with others who may have views on the employee and finalise your own

assessment. Clear your diary of other work. Remind employees

of the appointment.




· about 2 hours before, gather your notes, forms and files.

Prepare the room. Re-direct last-minute crises or urgent work to other people. Clear your thoughts.

4. A Relaxed Environment

John who is an experienced appraiser is describing to his assistant, Wendy, how he creates the right interview

environment for appraisal.

"I aim for a relaxed and business-like setting. When people are

relaxed, they talk more freely; when we're business-like, we

focus on the job in hand. I pay attention to three areas of preparation: the whole

environment, the room and the seating.

Firstly, there must be no distractions or interruptions. I want them to know they are the only thing on my mind. If something

important comes in, it must be delegated elsewhere. Next, I look at the room through the appraisee's eyes and check

whether it gives the right impression.

Lastly, I create a seating arrangement that is comfortable and safe and creates an area of informality inside the working office."

5. The Shape of Appraisals

The following summarises the twelve starting points in an appraisal interview based on the past-present-future structure.

1. welcome appraisee 2. use any informal reality-bridge questions

3. outline the aims of the appraisal session

4. check the appraisee is happy with the aims

5. ask the appraisee to give their own assessment of how things

have gone since the last formal review

6. summarise and agree the assessment 7. ask appraisee to outline their current work

8. summarise and agree what are current priorities

9. ask appraisee how they see things developing in the future 10. add any plans to the appraisee's own plans

11. review what has been agreed

12. thank appraisee and close.




6. The Reality Bridge

The "reality bridge" is the phrase which describes the initial social chit-chat at the start of an appraisal interview.

The reality bridge does more than just settle both parties down. It reminds you that there is a real world outside the interview

room. Appraiser and appraisee both cross the reality bridge to go

back to this other world at the end of the interview.

Some reality bridge phrases include...

" I see you made it through the heavy

traffic..."

"Such dreadful weather..." "I heard you were in Spain for your

holidays..."

7. Contracting

After the opening courtesies of an appraisal interview, you should

move on to outlining what you want to do in the course of the appraisal session. This is the contract. It is important to let

people know they are part of what's going on and have an equal

say on how things can develop.

The contract can include...

· how long you expect to take · your arrangements not to be interrupted

· the purpose of the meeting

· the structure of the interview

· the outcomes you expect

· what extent of confidentiality there is

· the tone you'd like to use.

At the end of outlining the contract, you should ask if they're

happy. If they are, move on. If not, stop and re-negotiate a new contract.




8. Classic Structures

Your scheme may lay down the structure of the appraisal

interview. If it doesn't, you can use one of the three classic appraisal interview structures.

1. Past-present-future. Start by discussing the review period; move on to where things are now; end by talking about future

plans.

2. Positive-negative-positive. Start with

what went well during the review period;

follow with what didn't go so well; end with a summary of how things can go in future.

3. Strengths-weaknesses-opportunities-threats. Start by discussing their strong

points; follow with areas that let them down; identify opportunities for managing weaknesses and building on

strengths; end with an awareness of problems and threats to the

team or individual.

9. Agendas

As an alternative to any of the classic appraisal structures, an

appraisal interview can be based on the following review topics...

1. work agreed at the previous appraisal

2. performance in key result areas 3. the achievement of any management by objective targets

4. project work

5. what has happened in their own self-development 6. what new learning has taken place

7. the trend and pace of performance.

If you plan to use any of these, it is a good idea to let the

appraisee know in advance so that they can prepare.




10. Interview Tone

Some managers have difficulty carrying over one tone from the

task-centred workplace to the tone needed for the person-centred appraisal interview.

To help you make the transition, it helps to see the appraisal

interview as a people-maintenance exercise. It can be thought of as a check-up of the employee's working health. Author Stephen

Covey calls it "looking after the goose that lays the golden eggs".

One useful guide to capturing the right tone

is "FLIRT" which is a mnemonic for Friendly,

Listening, Interested, Relaxed and Trusting. You will find that if you set this kind of tone

from the start, your appraisee will quickly

follow suit.

"Be to others how you would like your appraiser to be to you."

11. 3D Interview Skills

The most successful interviews are three-dimensional. Dimension one is preparation; dimension two is the conduct of the

interview; and dimension three is follow-up.

Preparation: when preparing for the interview, be clear on what

you're trying to achieve. Remember it is as much about systems

as relationships. Structure the interview and leave room to explore uncharted territory.

Conduct of the interview: when you conduct the interview, do

more listening than talking. When you listen, really listen. Listen to feelings as well as facts. Feelings are the motivators of the

future.

Follow-up: wait until you have the whole picture before you come to any firm plans. Avoid making exciting plans in the heat

of the interview which are unrealistic. Afterwards, do what you

said you'd do.




12. Containing Stress

Stress arises when people perceive a situation as threatening.

They then choose either a flight or fight reaction. Flight reactions in appraisal interviews include silence, moods and agreement to

anything suggested. Fight reactions include arguing, politicking,

and playing win-lose games.

To avoid these unhelpful reactions...

· play down status differences between you and the appraisee by finding common ground

· allow appraisees as much control

over the discussions as possible · don't criticise them

· don't imply they're less than

perfect · get side-by-side when dealing with

problems of performance · add some human touches by using

self-disclosures

· keep discussions of feelings confidential.

13. Staying in Control

An appraisal interview can easily get out of control unless you consciously plan to stay on track. You know you're not on track if

you find yourself re-living past arguments, getting into blame-

and-condemnation cycles, criticising third parties not present and only discussing what went well.

Research in 1983 by Kikoski and Litterer suggests that there are five ways to keep an appraisal interview on track.

1. paraphrase and summarise when you want to move on

2. focus on what's important 3. ask the right type of questions at the right points: open

questions to open up, closed questions to close down

4. reflect feelings rather than skate round them 5. give feedback not just information.




14. Empowering People

Empowering others means letting go of the power you have in

any situation so that others feel they can take personal responsibility for their own thoughts, plans and actions.

· showing interest in others is an act of empowerment. · concentrated listening to what others say is an act of

empowerment.

· valuing their ideas is an act of empowerment. · supporting what they want to do is an act of empowerment.

· giving them the go-ahead is an act of empowerment.

· using phrases like "I like the way that you..." and "I think it's great that you..." is an act of empowerment.

· asking them to summarise their performance before you do is

an act of empowerment. · using words and phrases that encourage is an act of

empowerment.

2. Responding to Change


Change Management: 147 steps that will show you

how to master the challenge of change and come out

on top.)

Our survival depends on responding to what is happening in our

surrounding environment. If we ignore the needs and expectations of others, perhaps out of fear,

insecurity, idleness, defiance, lack of

awareness or too much looking back, we will find our attitudes and skills redundant. We will

become casualties of change. If, on the other

hand, we respond with courage, a new sense of security, application, humility and looking

forward, we can not only survive but grow.

We can be champions of change.




15. Responding to Change

Change can come to us in two guises: as something we originate

or as something imposed from outside.

When change originates with us, it may be because we see the

need to develop ourselves, our teams or our organisations. We are then likely to be the principal change agent and it will be

down to us to sell the change to others.

When change is imposed from outside, it may come as a sudden

unannounced shock, a half-expected development or as a

welcome event. It is not surprising therefore that people normally respond to change in a variety of ways. For some, the

standard response to change may be to bury their heads in the

sand and do nothing; for others, it may be to do anything and, when this doesn't work, to panic and do everything. For some, it

is to devise a strategy and manage the response.

16. Do Nothing

The "do nothing" response to change is the response of Handy's

frog that boiled alive in the heated-up water without moving. It is also the response of the Peruvian Indians of the 16th

century who on observing the approaching ships of their Spanish

invaders believed they were just sea monsters and wouldn't harm them. As a result, they were invaded, did nothing to

protect themselves and were overrun and conquered.

We may do nothing for a number of reasons...

· we don't know there is a need to change

· we know but pretend it's not important · we claim that everyone else is in the same boat as us so it

doesn't really matter

· we don't think we can do anything about it · we could act but don't know what to do

· we aren't allowed to do anything.




17. Reasons Not to Change

The following are nine reasons why people, and organisations, do

nothing to change. 1. we think our ways are right and so become complacent and

routine-bound.

2. we dwell on the past and the emotional security of what is familiar.

3. we lack the originality to change until we see someone else

doing it first. 4. we overplay the downside of change.

5. we prefer to stay with what we know and understand, not

what we don't know and don't understand. 6. we rely on management as we've relied on them up to now.

Unfortunately, management are often deeply committed to the

existing ways of working. 7. we like the way things are now.

8. we live too much in the present and assume things can last for ever.

9. we simply cannot be bothered to make the effort.

18. Discounting

Discounting is a term borrowed from Transactional Analysis in

which we ignore any facts or evidence that conflicts with our view

of things.

An example of discounting may be a business that decides to do

nothing about a steadily worsening market share. Its do-nothing thinking may be based on six discounting levels...

1. discounting the evidence by not having information.

2. discounting the problem by having evidence but not believing it is anything unusual.

3. discounting the will to change by saying "Yes, OK, but there's

nothing we can do". 4. discounting the options because the remedy might be worse

than the disease.

5. discounting the solutions by saying they won't work. 6. discounting the action because "they" won't wear it.




19. Excuses, Excuses

These excuses have been stifling change for years...

1. We've never done it before. Nobody else has done it before.

We tried it before. They tried it before.

2. We've been doing things this way for years. Why change? Things are working okay. We're fine as we are.

3. It's too much trouble. I don't like it. It won't work. It's too

radical. 4. They say it's impossible. It can't be done. The boss won't buy

it. It won't work in our type of company. The Unions won't buy it.

5. We don't have the money. We don't have the time. We don't have the expertise.

6. It needs more thought. I'm not sure. Let's have a report first.

Let's do a study on it. 7. You're right but we're not ready for it. That's not us. It's

contrary to our policy. ...and so on and on.

20. Do Anything

When recession hit large Western companies in the early 1990's, many companies rushed to grasp the latest guru thinking on how

to save their businesses.

One of the popular ideas at the time was business process re-

engineering, part of which was the idea of "downsizing". The

resultant re-organisation, reduction in costs, and reduced workforces seemed to be an answer to the problems of the day.

Moreover, it could be implemented from outside using

consultants with new computers to work out just how to pare organisations down to their core businesses. Edward Deevy

estimated that $20 billion was spent each year on consultants

during this period.

However, for many organisations, the experience was a costly

disaster. They had been grasping for a quick fix, looking for easy answers and doing anything rather than managing their need to

change.




21. Do Everything

Frank Price in his book "Right Every Time"

reminds us that taking major action to deal with change has long been a knee-jerk

reaction of large organisations. He quotes

Gaius Petronius describing yet another Roman Army re-organisation in AD 66...

"We trained hard, but it seemed that every time we were begining to form up into teams, we would be re-

organised. I was to learn later in life that we tend to meet any

new situation by re-organising and a wonderful method it can be for creating the illusion of progress, while producing confusion,

inefficiency and demoralisation."

Not long after this period, the Roman Empire began a slow

decline that was only reversed by surgical action by the emperor Hadrian, who abandoned the Eastern Provinces and shored up

the defences in the outermost countries.

22. Change Indigestion

Many organisations believe that change requires a constant

stream of initiatives, new ideas and brilliantly-conceived

strategies, all sent down from the top.

This frequently fails to work because...

· it is based on a mechanistic view of how organisations work · it requires others to change, not those at the top

· the answers are believed to lie with those at the top

· the amount of change becomes too great for those down the line to handle.

"A contributory factor to failure is that many top managers are now so removed from their underlings that they wildly

underestimate how long it takes to embed really fundamental

change. All too often impatient managers signal a new direction before those at the bottom have had chance to digest the last

one." (Simon Caulkin)




23. Defy Change

Defying inevitable change is an option undertaken by many

organisations who think they are big enough and strong enough to resist what is happening around them.

Defying the changes is not an option for most of us. It is the Canute-style of management. If we sit and defy the incoming

waves, they will sooner or later devour us.

Only a few organisations can point to defying change. One is

Coca-Cola whose 100 plus year-old drink has the same taste,

packaging and advertising today as it had when it started. However, Coca-Cola are still ready to meet change: they test-

market a brand new soft drink every month.

24. Resistance to Change

Changes are often introduced into organisations when a sensible

case has been made out for them and the feasibility study shows they will work. Unfortunately, change needs hearts as well as

minds.

The Dvorak Simplified keyboard is a case in point. This was a

new keyboard devised to replace the traditional typewriter

keyboard when personal computers became popular. Its novel idea was to

concentrate all the most popular letters of

the alphabet on the middle row which would now read AOEUIDHTNS instead of

ASDFGHJKL. Similarly, the number row,

instead of reading 12345 etc would read 7531902468. The savings in operator

efficiency were put at 40%.

Unfortunately, few people were willing to change their skills or pay the cost of change. The Dvorak Simplified keyboard sank

without trace.

25. Tinkering Around the Edges

There are two different ways we can look at organisations:




· as machines with fixed parts which can be taken out and

replaced without any affect on any other part, or

· as growing plants where everything is part of a whole and

change cannot happen to one part without affecting the rest. When change arrives, the "machine" organisations tinker around

the edges. They seek out old parts that are rusty and past their

best. These are disposed of and replaced. Other parts get up-graded or taken out for a while and given an overhaul - perhaps

a crash training programme or a spot of re-organisation.

Those who see their organisations like growing plants know that

the answer to managing change lies in tending the soil of culture,

management and growth.

26. Evolution

Evolution as a way of handling change is the Darwinian approach to management: constant, gradual, incremental

change.

This can be a highly effective way of developing

the organisation when there is time. For

example, the biggest maker of buggy whips in America at the turn of the century is now the

biggest maker of carburettors with an enviable

record of keeping up with changes in technology, design, transport needs and fashion.

But in turbulent times, even evolution may not be possible.

"You think you understand the situation, but what you don't

understand is that the situation just changed." (Putnam

Investment advertisement)

27. Rely on Others

Relying on others to guide you through times of change is a high-

risk strategy. You expose yourself to two possible unwanted outcomes...




1. Your leaders may be so immersed in the "old" order that they

are unable to comprehend the need for change and do nothing.

2. Your leaders may try the "Cortes trick".

The "Cortes trick" is the action which the Spanish conquistador Cortes took when he

landed at Vera Cruz in Mexico in 1518. Faced

with the might of the Tlascalan and Cholulan Indians, his soldiers favoured going home.

So Cortes burnt the ships.

28. Manage Change

The only viable option in responding to major change is to

manage it.

This means managing each of the following key strategies to take

you through change. 1. Process: managing the change cycle

2. Structure: managing cores and

peripheries 3. People and policies: managing paradox

4. Action: managing risk

5. Growth: managing learning 6. Personal development: managing the

process of change

7. Information: managing uncertainty 8. Putting it all together: managing

organisational change.

3. Dispositions of Counselling


Skillful Counselling: 154 steps that will show you

how to manage any staff problem with skill and

finesse.)




In learning best practice from professional counselling, the

manager who counsels can adapt the skills, tools and techniques of the professionals. These skills centre on the ability to create an

environment in which others feel able to explore and confront

key issues in their life and work and be helped to find answers to them and move on. For some managers, these skills will come

easily; for others they have to be learnt.

29. Dispositions

We all have the potential inside us to reach

out to others. With practice, these qualities

can be honed into valued skills and dispositions. There are eight key qualities

that are important for those who act in a

counselling role:

1. warmth, the ability to relate positively towards others

2. empathy, the ability to feel with someone else's situation

3. specificity, the ability to deal with what another person feels and thinks here and now

4. genuineness, the ability to accept yourself and how you are in

the counselling relationship 5. confidentiality, the ability to respect information given in

confidence

6. professional distance, the ability to see your role as a helper and not get personally involved

7. the touch of integrity, the ability to act as one

8. self-renewal, the ability to find personal refreshment.

30. Warmth

Warmth is also known as an unconditional positive regard for

others.

Warmth towards others results when we...

· believe that people are capable of doing their best · believe that people have basically good intentions

· believe that everybody can be likeable.




Managers with a history of workplace

relationships involving perhaps conflict, disagreement and mistrust, may find it hard

to demonstrate warmth unconditionally or

non-selectively.

Warmth is necessary to move a one-to-one

relationship from cold formality through thaw to growth and fruition.

31. Empathy

Psychoanalyst Carl Rogers has described empathy in different ways as:

· "...entering the private perceptual world of the other and becoming thoroughly at home in it."

· "...being sensitive moment to moment to the changing felt meanings which flow in this other person."

· "... communicating your sensings of his or her world as you look

with fresh and unfrightened eyes at elements of which the individual is afraid."

When we empathize with another person, we try to see the world through their frame of reference. We try to understand how the

situation we see is seen by them, what meanings they give it and

what values they place on it.

32. Empathy is not Sympathy

Empathy is similar to, but distinctly different from,

sympathy, as their etymologies show:

· pathos = Greek for "feeling"

· empathos = "pathos" meaning "feeling" and "em" meaning "in" ie "feeling in..."

· sympathos = "pathos" meaning "feeling" and

"sym" meaning "with" ie "feeling with..."

A man fell into a large hole.




An uncaring person walked past, looked down and told the man

how silly he was to find himself in the hole. A sympathetic person walked past, and feeling sorry, jumped in

the hole with him.

An empathetic person walked past, saw both the hole-dwellers and, having ascertained that neither wanted to be in the hole,

fetched a ladder and helped them out.

33. Do It Anyway

These words from Mother Teresa of Calcutta are a reminder that

counselling is a selfless act with no rewards except the

knowledge that you are trying to help others.

"People are unreasonable, illogical and self-centred; love them

anyway. If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish, ulterior

motives; do good anyway. If you are successful, you win false friends and true enemies;

succeed anyway.

The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow; do good anyway.

What you have spent years building may be

destroyed overnight; build anyway. People really need help, but may attack you

if you help them; help people anyway.

Give the world the best you have and you will get kicked in the teeth; give the world

the best you have anyway."

34. Specificity

Specificity is also known as "concreteness". In counselling,

specificity means sticking to specific facts, feelings and views

which are here and now in the present. This means that counsellors should not concern themselves with the causes and

meanings of people's situations, but rather with ways in which

current behaviour can be changed. It is about "how?" rather than "why?"

Why do you feel this way? Answer: Because I do.




Why did you break up? Answer: Because we did.

Why is your performance bad? Answer: Because it is.

"Why?" questions are associated with critical and aggressive

stances, possibly throwbacks to childhood scenes, such as "I've dropped the plate and broken it". "Why did you drop it?" asks the

parent crossly. "I don't know. It was an accident..." "But why?

That was my best china." And so on.

35. Don't Ask Why?

Asking "why?" questions in counselling is often a pointless

exercise. People who may be already confused when they come to counselling may find it difficult to give reasons for how they

feel or what they did. Even if they know and can tell you, this

may not help you to move on.

"There are several difficulties with "why?" questions. One problem is that they lead to a search for the prime cause, the

supreme answer that will unlock the mysteries of behaviour and

effect instant behaviour change. This path leads to quicksand. Second, "why?" is too easily answered by "because" responses

that place responsibility on external or unknown loci of control. A

third problem with "why?" questions is that they often lead to figuring things out in a cognitive, problem-solving fashion that

rarely enhances the understanding of emotions." (W.R.Parsons)

36. Gestalt Therapy

An understanding of Gestalt therapy helps to underscore the

importance of specificity in counselling.

Gestalt therapy was developed by Fritz Perls as a counter to the

analytical and theoretical methods used by Sigmund Freud and

others. Its aim is to make the individual self-supporting by making him aware of himself in the present as a whole. "Gestalt"

is German for "whole structure".

Gestalt therapy believes...

1. that human beings are responsible for themselves

2. that each person functions as a whole, not in parts




3. that the organism works best if it is in balance

4. that the important questions about human experience are How? not Why?

5. that the past carries with it business that must be finished and

that the future is only present expectation.

37. Here and Now

Fritz Perls, founder of Gestalt Therapy, believed that people could

become more healthy by focusing on what was happening to them in the present.

To be fully in the "here and now" means: · avoiding conceptualising and theorising about why something is

happening and focusing instead on what you can do about it

· avoiding giving reasons Not: "you're doing this because of what happened to you as a

child"; But: "you seem to be frightened."

· avoiding blame

Not: "They don't like my work." But: "I feel insecure because they don't seem to like my work."

38. Genuineness

Egan describes "genuine" people as being "at home with themselves in all their

interactions".

Genuineness means being yourself. To enter

a counselling relationship and feign interest

is not just dishonest, but misleading. We

cannot expect others to accept themselves if

we cannot first accept ourselves.

Part of genuineness is consistency between what a counsellor says with what he or she conveys in their tone of voice, body

expressions and behaviour. There must be an absence of masks

and little or no attempt at self-presentation.

Revealing genuineness through genuine interest, genuine

concern, genuine admission of faults and weaknesses, genuine




ignorance and genuine limits enhances the counselling

relationship.

39. A Genuine Relationship

These thoughts by a client describe a "genuine" counsellor-client

relationship...

What she says never conflicts with what she feels.

She is herself in our relationship. I don't think she hides anything from herself that she feel with

me.

She doesn't avoid anything that is important in our relationship. I feel I can trust her to be honest with me.

She is secure in our relationship.

She doesn't try to mislead me about her own thoughts and feelings.

She can be impatient at times. She is sometimes upset at what I say.

She can look as worried as I feel.

(William Stewart)

40. Confidentiality

Confidentiality is a key requirement in a

manager who counsels others. You should not undertake counselling if you have an

urge to share information with others, to

impress them or to do it for personal gain.

However, not everything that is said in a

counselling session can be guaranteed to

remain confidential. Matters that affect

others, that perhaps breach a contract of employment, that

break the law or could do others harm may all have to be reported. You should, however, never breach confidentiality of

feelings.

The bounds of your confidentiality undertaking should be spelled

out at the contract stage of a counselling session and repeated if

and when something borderline arises during discussion.




41. Three Secrets

Employees in a counselling session may sometimes only be prepared to discuss issues if they are kept secret.

Some counsellors distinguish three types of secrets... · the private secret, which if revealed would cause the person

harm

· the pledged secret which when shared is expected to remain confidential

· the entrusted secret which either implicitly or explicitly is

understood to remain unrevealed.

Since one of the aims of counselling is to promote the free,

unforced expression of facts and feelings, there should be no sharing of secrets unless it is absolutely necessary.

42. Professional Distance

There is a certain point in the helping process when you have

enough emotional involvement to understand others. Any more

and you are too involved, any less and you are not involved enough. This point can only be experienced through remaining

sensitive to the client's situation. It is the point of professional

distance. This point allows you to understand others but also to remain distant enough to offer objective insight, suggestions and

support.

Donald S. Winnicott, the British psychoanalyst, described

"professional distance" in these terms:

"The counsellor is not frightened nor overcome with guilt feelings

when the client goes mad, or disintegrates or runs out in the

street in a nightdress, or attempts suicide and perhaps

succeeds." The counsellor is caring and careful, supportive, contains and holds anxiety, maintains an unshocked and

unshockable position.




43. The Touch of Integrity

The TOUCH of integrity is a mnemonic which stands for the five

ingredients that help you to "act as one". They are:

· T for Trust. An employee needs to trust you fully and will do so

only if your past record shows you are trustworthy

· O for Openness. The counsellor models

openness to the client by not seeking to control the client, not listing "do's and don'ts",

not hiding their own thoughts and feelings

· U for Understanding. Understanding means being prepared to listen even when the

subject may not be of interest but accepting

the value of it to the other person · C for Confidentiality.

· H for Honesty.

Just as there must be integrity between counsellor and client, so

there should be integrity between the counsellor and the organisation which employs them both.

44. Confronting

Confronting is one of the most difficult helping skills to get right. Confronting, if handled badly, can raise the temperature of a

relationship and may destroy it altogether.

Confronting is necessary in counselling when clients have a

problem that they have been unable to resolve by themselves.

They may be avoiding it, pretending it doesn't exist, hoping it goes away by itself. Unless the counsellor confronts them with

their reluctance to resolve the matter, there can be no progress.

Confronting skills include:

· identifying what the real problem is

· timing the confrontation so that the client isn't offended · avoiding blame and condemnation

· not allowing feelings to get in the way

· seeking ways to help people resolve the problem.




45. Self-Renewal

Burn-out is the exhaustion felt by carers and counsellors who undergo excessive or

prolonged counselling of others.

Burn-out is characterised by:

· chronic low energy levels

· defensive behaviour · emotional distancing from people.

Studies by Cartwright found high burn-out rates in the nursing profession. Studies by Gaines and Jermier found high burn-out

rates amongst the police.

Fortunately, burn-out is mainly a temporary phenomenon and a

complete break from dealing with people problems can help. Long-term strategies for support and physical, mental, emotional

and spiritual self-renewal are essential.

46. Five Golden Rules

Here are five golden rules for carers to care for themselves:

1. have someone else to talk to for support 2. build contacts with other professionals. Learn how they cope

with the threat of burn-out.

3. don't expect your efforts to bear fruit every time. Much as you try, you will occasionally meet impenetrable resistance.

4. put things into a wider perspective. People can be slow to

change. Your helping may not have any kind of meaning for them

until much later on.

5. get away from it all regularly. Find a place to go where you

can relax, let go and switch off.

A self-renewal programme can incorporate elements of physical

relaxation, such as exercise and a good long walk and mental respite and spiritual refreshment.




4. DIY Empowerment


Dynamic Delegation and Empowerment: 160 steps

that will show you how to bring your management

skills into the 21st century.)

If we rely on our organisations to give us the power to become

responsible in what we do, then we are never fully empowered.

The ultimate power remains with managers whose gift it still

remains. To be properly empowered and add value to what we

do, we must empower ourselves. This means self-reliance, self-motivation, self-discipline and self-direction. It means turning

any job we do into a chance to develop. It means Do-It-Yourself

Empowerment.

47. DIY Empowerment

Just as managers have to change the way they look at work when they embark on

empowerment, so individual employees have

to change the way they look at work when they embark on Do-It-Yourself

Empowerment. There are 10 attitudes that

can help you to do it yourself. These are:

1. break free of the chains that others place

on you 2. work with others but don't rely on them to do it for you

3. be committed to the job and the organisation

4. own the job as if it were your own business

5. be a continuous learner throughout your life

6. be the best at whatever you do

7. do the job because you want to not for the rewards 8. get absorbed in your work

9. add value to everything you do

10. liberate yourself from the fear of not being good enough.




48. Break Free

The power that comes from do-it-yourself

empowerment is the freedom that comes from breaking away from dependence on

others.

In his book "The Success Factor", Dr Harry

Stanton described six of these "chains from

others". They are... 1. the morality of others (you must; you

should...)

2. others' concept of your success (But your car's not as big as ours)

3. the identity that others want to give you ("You don't behave

like a manager!") 4. others' version of what it takes to be happy ("You mean you

haven't dated anyone for six months!") 5. your possession or lack of possession of traditional power

("she's just a clerk");

6. the group's codes of behaviour ("that's the way men should behave")

49. Never Wait For Them

While other people are important in the way we work, we can in the final analysis only rely on ourselves to do what we need to do

for our own development and ultimate success.

"I remember standing outside the boss's door as a trainee in my

first job. I was up for my review. I was very nervous. Along came

Jock, the elder statesman of the office. "What are you doing out here, laddie?" he asked, peering at me. "I'm waiting to go and

see what they've got lined up for me." "Them?" he boomed,

incredulously. "Them! If you wait for them, laddie, you'll wait forever. Never wait for them."

"The best motivation is self-motivation. The guy says: "I wish someone would come along and turn me on." What if they don't

show up? You've got to have a better plan for your life." (Jim

Rohn)




50. Self-Empowerment

Only when we stop letting others determine how we feel, what we do and how we see

things, do we really become empowered.

This change is reflected in the way we talk about work.

From: "a 9 to 5 kind of dying" To: "a chance to excel for ourselves"

From: "work as a chore, a must, a have-to" To: "work as a preference, a liking, a love."

From: "doing it, but thinking about something else." To: "total absorption in it."

Self-empowered individuals take responsibility for how they feel

about their work. It is no longer something that is controlled and

directed by others, but the place where they can discover their own true potential themselves.

51. The Meaning of Commitment

Commitment is the quality that comes from individuals who empower themselves at

work. There are different ways of

understanding what is meant by "commitment":

· in World War II, the US Army discovered

that 5% of all its parachutes didn't work

properly due to manufacturers' defects. The Army were not

prepared to put lives at risk, so they asked the parachute makers to test the parachutes first themselves. Quality quickly rose to

100% and defects to zero. That's commitment!

· commitment is the missing ingredient that produces excellence.

Commitment plus skill equals excellence.




· commitment is like sex: everyone wants it, it is more talked

about than done; and you've got to give it to get it in return.

52. Own the Job

If you owned your own business, you would

plan it, work at it, invest everything you could in it, develop it, be proud of it, nurture

it and enjoy every second of it. With a

change of focus, you can do the same for any job you do.

Who do you work for? I work for the company. I work for the boss. I work for the team.

I work for my family. I work for me.

In 1750, 95% of the population were self-employed or owner-

managers. This figure went down to 50% by 1900 and just 10% in 1980. By 1990, it had risen again to 20% and on present

trends will reach 50% again by 2025.

"Make every decision as if you owned the whole company."

(Robert Townend, Avis)

53. Self-Development

Continuous learning in times of change

offers huge scope for taking responsibility

for our own development. It means:

· actively seeking opportunities to learn both

informally and formally

· becoming more curious about the way we

work

· always having a learning activity "on the go" whether related to the job or not

· learning how we like to learn and practising more of this

· learning what it is like to learn something new and coping with frustration, failure, challenge, ignorance.




In a recent survey of organisations that encouraged their staff to

enrol at local education classes, those organisations with employees on education courses consistently performed better

than those with fewer enrolled employees.

54. Be the Best

The self-empowered individual is someone

who has three qualities:

· he knows where his talents, skills,

strengths, vocation and potential lie

· she works to find the place where she can exercise these talents for the benefit of

herself and others

· he excels in the performance of these skills.

"If a man is called on to be a street sweeper, he should sweep streets even as Michaelangelo painted, or Beethoven played

music or Shakespeare wrote poetry. He should sweep streets so

well that all the hosts of heaven and earth will pause to say, here lived a great street sweeper who did his job well." (Martin Luther

King)

55. Zen It

"Zen" is a word from Oriental thinking which stands for total

absorption, fascination and concentration on the job in hand. To

"zen" a job means to do it for the sake of it, not for what it is for or leading to.

In their book "Thank God it's Monday", Charles Cameron and

Suzanne Ellusor describe seeing a Zen monk sweeping snow from

the steps of a temple. The more it snowed, the more he swept.

The monk did not expect to clear the steps of snow or achieve any objective. There was reason enough to be doing it. Because

it didn't matter. The simplicity of his actions was enough to make

it worth doing: process rather than end result, being rather than completion.




""Zenning" it is at the heart of all success. It is a matter of being

present at your own life, not just showing up for the roll call." (Charles Cameron)

56. Concentration

When we become absorbed in our work, we attain a state of total concentration that is known as "flow". It means forgetting oneself

in a heightened state of awareness. It means having a clarity for

cues and outside stimuli. It means having the skills to meet the demands of the moment. It means finding a rhythm to our work

in which hours pass like minutes and minutes like hours.

Professor Mihaly Csikszentmihaly of the University of Chicago

studied 1000 workers and found that nearly a third regularly

experienced "flow" at work.

"Flow is a state of self-forgetfulness, the opposite of rumination and worry. Instead of being lost in nervous pre-occupation,

people in flow are so absorbed in the task at hand that they lose

all self-consciousness, dropping the small pre-occupations - health, bills, even doing well - of daily life." (Daniel Coleman)

57. A State of Flow

One of the most celebrated descriptions of the state of self-absorption known as "flow" is that given by John Brodie, an

American football player:

"Often in the heat and excitement of a game, a player's

perception and co-ordination will improve dramatically. At times

and with increasing frequency now, I experience a kind of clarity

that I've never seen adequately described in a football story.

Sometimes, for example, time seems to slow down in an uncanny

way as if everyone were moving in slow motion. It seems as if I have all the time in the world to watch the receivers run their

patterns and yet I know the defensive line is coming at me just

as fast as ever. I know perfectly well how hard and fast those guys are coming and yet the whole thing seems like a movie or a

dance in slow motion. It's beautiful."




58. Adding Value

When we take responsibility for our own work, we can add value

in any of the following ways:

1. find the best method for doing the job

added value: productivity 2. find profitable connections with others

added value: 2 + 2 = 5

3. find more chances to succeed in the eyes of others added value: prizes, awards, accolades

4. find a way to produce outstanding quality

added value: customer delight 5. find new ways to do things

added value: innovation

6. find the quickest, safest, most reliable way to do the job added value: efficiency

7. find the simplest way to work added value: smooth, stress-free working.

59. Shine Your Light

When we achieve a sense of empowerment, something magical happens inside us. We no longer depend on others for what

happens to us. We may still work as we did before; but at last we

can let our own light shine.

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest

fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves: "Who am

I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?" Actually, who

are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There's nothing enlightening about

shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.

We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our

own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission

to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." (Nelson Mandela)




5. Empowering People


Empowering Facilitation Skills: 162 steps that will

show you how to become an expert at leading

groups to greater awareness and power.)

In many traditional experiences of being and working in groups -

the family, the school classroom, the work team - we have

become used to hierarchical models of authority. So we have

become used to fitting in, adjusting to others, letting the experts

decide, doing what we're told. As a result, many of us live lives of quiet desperation: alienated, frustrated, defensive, powerless.

The process of facilitation aims to restore, unleash and release

that lost power and put it back where it belongs: with people.

60. Being Open

The first step in creating an empowered climate in a group is to model aspects of openness. There is a continuum of

empowerment options that ranges from being relaxed with

people at one end to letting people feel free to be themselves at the other. Openness is at the heart of this range.

Modelling openness is like presenting an open page on which you invite the group to write its own story.

"The world is your exercise book, the pages on which you do your sums. It isn't your reality, although you can express reality

there if you wish. You are also free to write nonsense, or lies, or

to tear the pages up." (Richard Bach)

61. Time and Space

Being relaxed about rules on time and space

in a group is a way of inviting people to set their own rules.

· don't force people to sit where you want




them to sit

· don't force people to go where you want them to go · don't force people to work to your pace

· don't force people to meet your deadlines.

Empowerment is an act of trust and invites trust in return. Some

control-oriented managers will point to the abuses that are

possible if you empower people who are not ready for responsibility. But in the hands of a skilled facilitator even an

abuse can be used as an opportunity to explore personal growth.

"The more open I am to others and myself, the less I want to

rush in and fix things." (Carl Rogers)

62. Freedom

One of the most important functions of facilitation is to

encourage the group to be themselves. This means allowing the group the freedom to make their own choices and to face up to

the consequences of those choices.

You can show you value free choice by...

· allowing people to express views which are unorthodox,

unpopular, or minority views, without them being derided or judged

· allowing people to choose not to take part in activities or

discussions if they so choose · allowing people to take their time in learning as a way of

acknowledging that not everyone learns at the same pace as

everyone else.

63. Language

Everything you say and do as facilitator can underline your own

openness and your invitation to others to be open.

How you speak

· Use OSCAR, a mnemonic for Open, Simple, Clear, Assertive, and Relevant language

· avoid "musts" and "shoulds"

· avoid judgment, criticism and put-downs.




How you address people · be relaxed, still and attentive

· only speak when you have something worth saying

· sit or stand with open body language signals: face people, uncross your arms and legs

· keep gestures and expressions in neutral and under control.

64. Tolerance

Your demonstration of tolerance to what people say and do is

one of the strongest acts of group empowerment. When people

see that their behaviour and views are taken seriously, they also begin to take them seriously.

An empowered workgroup is open to anything anyone does or says: this means not filtering it through the organisation's

version of what is acceptable, the department's version or your own. It also means tolerating mistakes and failures, the raw

material for learning and growth.

"The leader judges no one and is attentive to both "good" and

"bad" people. It does not even matter whether the person is

telling the truth or lying." (John Heider: "The Tao of Leadership")

65. Valuing

People sometimes feel powerless in groupwork because they

have lost the trappings of their institutional power: they cannot use their title, their status, or their power to reward or threaten

others. Facilitators work with a different kind of power: the power

that comes from being important in your own right. In this way

everyone is valued in the group. These are some of the ways to

model valuing:

· value others by being courteous, quiet and using first names

· value their ideas by listening quietly and attentively whenever

they speak · value what they do by showing interest even if the subject is

otherwise not one you would normally be interested in




· value their emotional state by being supportive and

appreciative when they confide in you.

66. Owning

It is the facilitator's task to guide the group into taking ownership

of their needs and wants. This process can be reflected in small but significantly empowering ways when we help individuals

change the way they speak.

· speaking for others. When someone claims to speak for

others, eg "I think we all want a break", ask him or her to check

it out with the others first. · blaming. When someone blames another person for how they

feel, eg "He makes me angry", ask him to own his feelings, ie "I

feel angry when he says that". · speaking directly. When someone speaks indirectly, eg "Does

anyone want a drink?", suggest they speak directly, ie "I would like a drink".

· making choices. When someone says they must do

something, eg "I have to go", ask her to check that it isn't their choice rather than a requirement, ie "I want to go".

67. Never Say You Have To

In his book "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People", Stephen Covey recounts the story of the student who avoided

owning his choices.

One time a student asked me: "Would you excuse me from

class? I have to go on a tennis trip."

"You have to go?" I asked. "I really have to," he exclaimed.

"What will happen if you don't?" "Why, they'll kick me off the

team."

"How would you like that?" I asked. "I wouldn't." "In other words, you choose to go because you want the

consequences of staying on the team. But if you don't come to

class, what would be the natural consequence?" "I guess I'll miss the learning."

"That's right. So you have to weigh that consequence against the

other consequence and make a choice. I know if it were me, I'd




choose to go on the tennis trip. But never say you have to do

anything." "I choose to go on the tennis trip," he meekly replied.

68. Not Doing It For Them

In traditional forms of groupwork, group leaders are often placed in the role of expert, rescuer and problem-solver. In this role,

they are seen as question-masters with the answers to problems

tucked up their sleeves or as helpers who will step in and do things if the group gets stuck.

Playing the part of rescuer, while it may make us feel good and overcome a temporary difficulty, merely results in dis-

empowering those in the group. We send the message that when

things get difficult, they can opt out and do nothing. There is no growth in that route.

When opportunities to intervene arise or we are tempted to take

the easy route and do it for them, we should stop, bite our lips

and do nothing.

69. Boomerang Questions

The boomerang question, also known as the

"elastic question", has become a cliche of facilitation, practically its hallmark.

You use the boomerang question to send back questions to their owners.

Susan: "What exactly is facilitation,

Malcolm?"

You: "Well, what do you think it is, Susan?"

The boomerang question invariably works because, in asking a question in the first place a group member usually has an idea of

an answer which he or she wants to test, explore or confirm but

is not sure about. Your response tells the person that it is OK to voice what they think.




70. Answer A Question With A Question

Boomerang questions work best when they make people think.

Here are 7 responses that make people do just that.

1. “I would never want to do that.” “What would you want to

do?” 2. I wouldn’t like to do this.” “What would make it more

attractive?”

3. “This will never work.” “What would work better?” 4. “There are too many problems for it to work.” “What are the

main problems?”

5. “There are lots of changes needed.” “Such as…” 6. “It’s a good plan but I have some niggling doubts.” “What

would put your mind at rest?”

7. “It’s unlikely to work in its present form.” “What changes would you suggest?”

71. Weaving

Weaving is an alternative technique to the boomerang question.

Instead of sending a question back to the questioner, you thread

it into the group, inviting others to reply or referring to what others have already said. In this way, you signal that the group,

not you, is the place to turn to for answers.

"I don't understand the question..."

"Can anyone else help John?"

or "Rachel, you expressed a view on this

earlier..."

Weaving doesn't have the same impact as

the boomerang question because it allows

the questioner a way out of finding their own answers to their questions.

72. Sharing

One of the more humorous cliches of facilitation, and often mimicked by groups, is the expression: "Would you like to share




that with us?" Sharing is a useful neutral word that a person can

interpret in whatever way they think best. It could mean sharing an experience, sharing feelings, sharing thoughts, sharing know-

how.

The sharing cliché hides an important feature of facilitation and

that is the willingness of members of a group to be open about

their experiences, thoughts and feelings. Through the patience of the facilitator and the support of the rest of the group, people

can be encouraged to put their thoughts and feelings into words

and trust them to the rest of the group.

Review questions also encourage sharing. These include: How do

you feel about what just happened? What did you learn from that? What do you need to do now?

73. Releasing Their Power

Not intervening to rescue people is most important when the

group hits a problem and turns to you, the facilitator, to help

them out. You can turn the problem back to them by using these three steps:

1. Point out what the problem is 2. Show what the consequences could be to everyone

3. Invite them to do something about it.

Tom: "I think it means doing nothing..."

Julie: "I don't agree..."

You: "OK so we have a fundamental difference of opinion. This could lead to serious problems, of course. How can we go about

producing a definition that we can all put our names to?"

74. Volunteering

Asking for volunteers to do things should be

an ever-present feature of facilitative

leadership. Anything you feel tempted to do yourself can always be done by others. This

includes...




· routine features of groupwork, such as distributing handouts;

serving coffee; operating video cameras · aspects of groupwork such as writing up the results of a group

exercise on a flipchart

· giving input to groups.

You can trigger people's desire to be involved by inviting them in,

using gentle persuasion and kindly provocation. One way to judge how facilitative a group has been is to compare

the amount of time you sit and observe against the amount of

time you spend on your feet doing.

75. Non-Rescuing

A fine distinction needs to be drawn in facilitating other people's

processes between those times when someone needs to be rescued and those when they don't.

You should throw a lifeline to people who are clearly in difficulty

and drowning, but where people are merely

looking for an easy way out, it is often better to encourage them to swim a bit harder by

themselves.

Jill: "I couldn't possibly do that!"

You: "Go on, Jill, I know you can..."

or You: "Who would you like to help you?"

When people see that they are not going to be offered the easy way out, they invariably do something for themselves. This alone

can be a valuable lesson in personal growth.

76. Offering Options

One of the most valuable themes of group facilitation is the

sequence of Offering Options. It is an alternative to solving

someone else's problems.

1. When someone asks you to do something, eg answer a

question or sort a problem out, listen empathically.




2. Tune in to where the problem is coming from.

3. Confirm the boundaries of what you agreed to do and what others agreed to do.

4. Ask questions to help people explore the problem, eg "What is

missing here?"; "What can you do?" 5. Generate options with them until they see one they can take

off with.

"The leader who knows when to listen, when to act and when to

withdraw can work effectively with nearly everyone." (John

Heider)

77. Letting Them Grow

Letting people learn at their own pace and in their own way is the

ultimate act of empowerment.

People don't grow because we tell them they have to or because we threaten them if they don't; they only grow if we provide the

right conditions in which growth can take place.

"A Zen master once asked an audience of Westerners what they

thought was the most important word in the English language.

After giving his listeners the chance to think about such favourite words as love, truth, failure, success and so on, he said: "No, it's

a three-letter word. It's the word, "let". Let it be. Let it happen.""

(W.Timothy Gallwey)

78. Letting Go

To let go doesn’t mean to stop caring;

It means I can’t do it for someone else.

To let go is not to cut myself off,

It’s the realization that I can’t control another.

To let go is not to enable,

But to allow learning from natural consequences.

To let go is to admit powerlessness, Which means the outcome is not in my hands.

To let go is not to try and change or blame another;




I can only change myself.

To let go is not to care for, but to care about; To let go is not to fix but be supportive.

To let go is not to judge; But allow another to be a human being.

To let go is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes;

But to allow others to affect their own outcomes. To let go is not to be protective;

It is to permit another to face reality.

To let go is not to deny, but to accept;

To let go is not to nag, scold or argue,

But to search out my own shortcomings and correct them.

To let go is not to adjust everything to my own desires; But to take each day as it comes and cherish the moment.”

(Anon)

79. Levels of Learning

Groupwork affords people the opportunity to learn on three

different levels.

Level 1: Technical learning Technical learning is the nuts and

bolts of any subject you wish to master. For example, this programme provides technical information about facilitation

skills. In groupwork, technical information is based on the formal

inputs people receive.

Level 2: Interpersonal learning Interpersonal awareness is what

you learn from interacting with others. It includes the ability to communicate, to influence, to lead, to serve, to follow. It follows

from technical learning.

Level 3: Personal awareness Personal awareness is perhaps the

greatest prize of facilitated groupwork and includes personal

insights about the way we learn.




80. Learning How to Learn

Learning how to learn is a longer-lasting benefit from the self-

learning process of groupwork than simple technical learning. It enables us to speed up our own future learning rate.

Learning how to learn includes the following skills: · admitting what we don't know and can't do

· recognising possibilities inside us

· letting go of old ways · trying out new ways without fear of failure

· developing non-judgmental curiosity

· getting back up when things don't work out and trying again · overcoming the mental blocks that say "I know all that!" or "I'm

too old to learn!" or "It's too hard, I'll never learn that!"

81. Bateson’s Dolphins

In "Steps to the Ecology of Mind", the

anthropologist Gregory Bateson describes how he saw dolphins learning how to learn

in a dolphinarium.

On the first day of a new routine, the

dolphins were taught a new trick. If they

performed it correctly, they were rewarded with a fish. The next day, when they performed the trick, no fish were given.

Fish were only given when a new trick was mastered.

This continued for two weeks. Then on the fourteenth day, the dolphins performed four new tricks they hadn't been shown

before but had learnt by themselves.

The dolphins had learnt that learning, not tricks, is what gets

rewarded.

82. States of Personhood

Our learning has no end. Once we start to develop ourselves, we

can plumb ever-deeper levels that can take us through six states

of personhood:




1. the unaware personality: blind, no growth, no change

2. the stuck personality: fixated; confined; excessive; obsessive; stuck in routines; repetitive

3. the conventional personality: habitual; reactive; responds to

the environment; lives a life in tramlines 4. the creative personality: steady change, using personal gifts to

perform and grow in the present environment

5. the artistic personality: reaches beyond what went before to find new forms of self-expression

6. the self-transfiguring personality: discovering new powers.

"Before asking someone to do something, you have to help them

to be someone." (The Service Master Company)

83. Man’s Divinity

This re-telling of an ancient Hindu legend comes from Christian

Godefroy, author of "Mind Power".

There was a time when all men were gods. But they so abused

their divinity that Brahma decided to deprive them of their divine power. The only problem was where to hide this power so that

man would not find it. An assembly of minor gods was called to

discuss the problem. "Let's hide it in the earth," they said. "No," said the Brahma,

"they will dig it up."

"What about the ocean depths?" they suggested. "Not much better, " said the Brahma. "Sooner or later man will explore

every region of the world and the universe."

After a lot of discussion, it was concluded that there was no safe place to hide man's divine power.

Then Brahma said. "This is what we'll do. We'll hide it in the one

place man will never think of looking for it: in the very depths of man himself." And that's what the gods did.




6. Working with Conflict


Deal-Winning Negotiation Skills: 178 steps that will

show you how to win every deal you make.)

The essence of negotiations is conflict. Conflict manifests itself in differences of view, differences of opinion and differences of

interest. When one party wants what another party has; when

one group fails to agree on how to divide up shared resources; when one person does not see eye-to-eye with another; then

there is conflict. Conflict, however, need never be the cause for unresolved dispute. If viewed in a positive way, as a start not an

end position, it holds within itself the promise of new possibilities

from which all sides can gain. Without conflict, there is nothing to resolve and so no

negotiation; without facing up to conflict, there is no creative

tension; and without the need to resolve conflict, there is no progress.

84. The Negative View of Conflict

When we perceive conflict negatively, we tend to see it as a threat. Our knee-jerk reactions are instinctive and emotional: to

attack the reasons for the conflict or avoid facing up to them.

These are some of the common negative

reactions to conflict...

"It's their fault, not mine..." "If I ignore it, it might go away."

"It's best not to get involved."

"If we stick our nose in, someone will get hurt."

"We'll just argue and argue over who said

what, when and to whom." "I can't let them win."

"Let them get on with it."




85. The Positive View of Conflict

When we perceive conflict positively we tend to see it as an

opportunity. Most successful advances in business occur when two sides with different interests put their heads together to

work out a new way forward. Positive views of conflict are

rational and non-emotive.

These are some of the rational ways we might look at conflict

positively... · many differences can't be settled quickly, but the differences

themselves produce a valuable creative tension

· when two different forces come together, the result can be more than a sum of the parts. This is the principle of synergy.

· when people are in disagreement this is a positive sign that

they care and want things to improve · those against us are still part of us: having differences is like a

family discussion.

86. Options in Conflict

There are always just six options in handling conflict:

1. no deal

2. I win - you lose

3. I lose - you win 4. win at all costs

5. compromise

6. win-win.

The most sensible strategy in negotiations is

option 6, win-win. This is the belief that in any negotiation it is possible for both sides to come out having gained

something of value. Even though the compromise option is often

the way negotiations turn out, it should never be part of a game plan.

"Opposition brings concord. Out of discord comes the greatest harmony." (Heraclitus of Ephesus, 535 - 475BC)




87. No Deal

A no-deal outcome to a conflict means that the status quo is

confirmed and nothing changes.

No-deal is rarely a successful end to a conflict unless during

discussions it becomes clear there is no advantage for you in continuing.

No-deal, in the sense of walkaway power, can also be used tactically at any stage of the proceedings. To make sure you are

not disadvantaged if your bluff is called when you threaten "No

deal!" make sure you have a good second-best BATNA (Best Alternative To a Negotiated Agreement) to fall back on.

Tactical "no-deal" should be used right up to and including the last stage of a negotiation.

88. I Win, You Lose

The "I win you lose" approach to conflict is

also known as the World War One solution.

At the end of World War One, the victorious

Allies decided that, such were the horrors of

the war, the defeated Germans should be humiliated and never again allowed to threaten their neighbours.

The denigrating peace terms were completely one-sided but, as

in all win-lose solutions, the losing side harboured deep resentment.

It was only a matter of time before resentment led to a desire for

revenge and the outbreak of a further war in 1939.

When you use "win-lose" on others, you encourage them to find

ways to use "win-lose" back on you.

89. The Peace of Conquest

Whether in international relationships or personal relationships,

winning by making others lose is the quickest route to renewed conflict.




"The peace of conquest, where the victim is still in existence and must be dominated is, as peace, a negation: the suffering of the

conflict has ceased but the figure of awareness is not alive with

new possibilities, for nothing has been solved; victor and victim and their relations continue to fill the news. The victor is

watchful, the victim resentful. In social wars, we see that such

negative peace is not stable, there are too many unfinished situations." (Perls, Hefferline and Goodman, "Gestalt Therapy")

90. I Lose, You Win

The "I lose, you win" approach to conflict should never be considered as a strategy.

This is the route of appeasement, a quiet life

and letting others have their way: sooner or later they will come back for more.

"I lose, you win" may be used as a tactical

ploy after you have given a concession which

has cost you nothing.

By emphasising the benefits of the concession to the other side,

you can imply that since they have won something, you have lost something and it is now their turn to reciprocate.

91. Win At All Costs

Win-at-all-costs is a negotiating strategy that is based on the belief that you are not responsible for the conflict and therefore

will not budge an inch to the other side. You must be seen to

win.

There are a number of reasons why people feel they have to win

at all costs: · they are convinced they are right, so everyone else must be

wrong

· they equate giving in with weakness · they are frightened that their constituents will give them a hard

time if they submit




· they are in a position of power and fear an opening of the

floodgates if they look weak ("give them an inch...") · they are not used to having their views challenged

· they believe they cannot lose face in the eyes of themselves

and their constituents.

92. The £5 Auction

A simple demonstration of win-at-all-costs thinking is the £5

auction game.

A group of people are invited to bid for a £5 note. They are

allowed to bid in steps of 50p starting at 50p itself.

Naturally bidding is brisk up to £4.50 and £5.00, as one person

tries to beat the other. But, more often than not, the bidding will pass the £5.00 mark and go to £5.50 or even higher. Winning

now matters more than the prize itself.

Only when the "winner" realises that he or she loses money after

the bidding passes £5, do they see the stupidity of "win-at-all-costs" thinking.

93. Compromise

Although the end result of many negotiations is a coming together of positions and a settlement somewhere in the middle

of extremes, compromise should not be a pre-planned strategy.

This is because...

· it encourages a spirit of concession

· the other side will interpret your concessions as weakness and

try to push you further

· negotiation is not about trying to be nice to one another

· your case may merit better than a compromise; their case may merit worse.

Compromise is often the outcome of going to third party mediators whose interest is not in the fairness of the arguments

or who has the greatest power but in getting a settlement.




94. Win-Win

Win-win is the only strategy worth pursuing in negotiations. Just

because the other side wins as well as you does not mean that your gain is any less. Win-win encourages constructive conflict:

the belief that to come out on top does not only happen by

destroying the opposition.

"It is as inappropriate to ask "who's winning?" in a successful

negotiation as it is to ask "who's winning?" in a successful marriage. The answer, of course, is: we both are."

Two four-year-old boys were playing soldiers together. "I want to be leader," said one.

"But I want to be leader," said the second.

"OK. You be the leader in front and I'll be the leader behind," said the first boy.

"OK," said the second boy.

95. Working With Conflict

When you represent others in negotiations, there are three

possible sources of conflict:

(a) there is the public conflict between yourself and the other

side

(b) there is the semi-public conflict between yourself and your

own side who may want you to be tougher or softer

(c) there is the private conflict you may have with your own team

in how to respond to proposals and offers with short-term tactics.

This is why the most successful negotiators are invariably the

strongest team who are prepared to support one another despite what others may do to break them up.

96. Power Negotiations

Power negotiations are high-profile negotiations in which teams of representatives come together to make or re-negotiate




important agreements. There are 9 identifiable steps in the

classic power negotiation...

1. opening remarks by the chair; aims and hopes

2. side A states its case, its demands, its claims 3. side B responds by arguing its case and claims

4. sides identify areas not in dispute

5. sides discuss disputed areas, with each side trying to win the other over

6. breakdown due to final positions not being bridgeable

7. search for possible ways forward resulting in breakthrough

8. hard bargaining over details and implementation

9. agreement.

97. Positional Negotiations

Position-taking is the predominant theme in the first half of

formal negotiations. This is where you take up a stand based on your ideal outcome and refuse to budge. In this period, your

chief objective is to satisfy the demands of your constituents.

Positional negotiating is characterised as being:

· entrenched

· all-or-nothing · stubborn

· argumentative

· problem-oriented · emotional.

Your success in the positional phase depends on how far you can push the other side back towards your favoured view before

breakdown occurs.

98. Principled Negotiations

Principled negotiations take over once negotiations break down.

Having pushed the other side back as far as they can go, you

now seek some principles on which to base a win-win agreement. Your chief objective now is to satisfy the demands of both your

side and your opponents.




Principled negotiating is characterised by being:

· open · joint

· mature

· rational · purposeful

· solution-oriented

· imaginative.

Your success at this stage depends on finding a solution that

everyone is happy with.

99. The Three Phases

As well as the nine steps of the classic power negotiation, and

the two distinct halves of positional and principled negotiating, there are three distinct phases in a negotiation:

· phase 1 is the opening phase and is more ritual than substance.

It is a time to take up a position, sound out your opponents, test

them and guess what their real needs are.

· phase 2 is the cut-and-thrust phase where you are jockeying

for position and consolidation before the inevitability of breakdown.

· phase 3 is the latter phase where you agree to re-open talks in order to find a joint solution which will meet both sides' needs.

7. People Builders


Quality Leadership Skills: 164 steps that will show

you how to become a leader of class.)

100. How to Build People

If managers make the most of their people, leaders add value to them. There are seven ways in which leaders build people value:




1. sowing good habits 2. coaxing out skills

3. building the team

4. removing the limitations 5. educating them

6. empowering them

7. working with time.

"The testosterone model of leadership - based on warfare and

sport - is giving way to consensual models in which leadership is

seen as a service to others. The new approach is closer to a

client-supplier relationship than an

employer-employee relationship." (Karl Albrecht)

101. Sowing Habits

By gentle persuasion, personal example and

helpful feedback, leaders encourage people

to acquire the many small habits that, taken by themselves may be insignificant, but when added together

can transform a team and its performance. Leaders sow good

habits.

· if you want to learn how to stop smoking, refrain from doing it.

· if you want to learn how to make good presentations, do lots of them.

· if you want to learn how to sell yourself on the phone, make

more phone calls.

"Excellence is an art won by habitation and training. We are what

we repeatedly do. Excellence is not then an act, but a habit." (Aristotle)

102. The Habit Score

Nobody knows exactly how many times you need to repeat an action to make it a habit. Some people think that an action needs

to be consciously repeated 20 times before it becomes

automatic.




The wastepaper basket test is a good way to find out your habit score. Move your

wastepaper basket to a new position well

away from its old position. Now count up the number of times you either go back to the

old place or have to think consciously where

it is. The first time you throw anything into the basket in its new place without thinking

is your habit score.

"If you want to do something, make a habit of it. If you want not

to do something, refrain from doing it." (Epictetus, 89AD)

103. Coaxing Out Skills

Leaders know that the potential to perform well lies half-dormant

in most people. To bring skills out requires coaxing and coaching.

These are the steps required in a coaching programme:

· describe the end behaviours required; for example how to handle a difficult customer complaint, how to work effectively in

the team, how to solve problems

· break the behaviour down into key steps · now, both off-the-job and on-the-job, practise and give

feedback, practise and give feedback, practise and give feedback,

until the responses are habitual.

"Sow a thought and you reap an act;

Sow an act and you reap a habit; Sow a habit and you reap a character;

Sow a character and you reap a destiny." (Charles Reade)

104. Coaching

Coaching is the surest way to build people's skills. It is not a

process without pain or frustration which is why people need help

to get through it.

Stage 1 - Push: Motivation to learn is initially high but dives

along with performance when progress is slower than expected.




Stage 2 - Hard slog: This is the time of hard slog when nothing

seems to work. The skills don't come off, you have more failures than successes and you wonder why you ever started. The coach

keeps up your self-belief.

Stage 3 - Crossing the magic line: Having persisted, things gradually start to fall into place. There are even encouraging

successes which breed more successes.

Stage 4 - On their own: Things now fall into place. The job makes sense and you discover a rhythm to it. The coach

withdraws to the sidelines and is available for help.

105. Building the Team

You build a team by taking a group of people from unshared

certainty to shared uncertainty.

Phase 1 - Unshared certainty: people work on their own

without any concern for others. Being self-reliant means being safe. This is an organisation that follows rules and procedures

and minds its back.

Phase 2 - Functional co-operation: people build formal links with others but only on job-related matters.

Phase 3 - Common cause: people find things they want to do

together and start working as a team. Phase 4 - Shared uncertainty: people are willing to join

together to undertake challenging tasks with uncertain outcomes.

"Give your people the only two gifts you can give them: the roots

to grow and the wings to fly." (From a Jewish wedding blessing)

106. Removing Limitations

Many people who work well within themselves are like fish in a

plexiglass tank: they swim around within the limitations imposed

on them.

When the glass is raised, or a bigger tank found, new heights are

possible but, without confidence-boosting leadership, the fish, like the people, often stay within their habitual limits.




One of the most important tasks that people-builders can

perform is to get people to remove their limitations and believe in themselves.

CAN = CAN'T - T.

107. The Pygmalion Effect

A team does as well as you and the team

think they can.

In an experiment at a British school, teachers were given

assorted ratings about a new set of intakes, ranging from "excellent prospect" to "unlikely to do well". These ratings were

arbitrary and bore no relation to the pupils' true abilities. In tests

at the end of the year, there was an astonishing degree of correlation between how pupils performed and the random

ratings given to the teachers.

The relationship between expectation and performance is

sometimes called the Pygmalion effect after Pygmalion, a king of ancient Cyprus. Pygmalion fell in love with an ivory image of a

young maiden. Such was his love for the image that he begged

the goddess Aphrodite to breathe life into it and make her his own. This she did and Pygmalion married her and became by her

father of Paphos.

108. Leading Out

Most organisations do not go further in building skills than a mix

of on-the-job training and off-the-job training. The result is that

immediate skill deficiencies are met, but not necessarily those of

tomorrow or the next day.

People-builders go one step beyond training. They know that educating people - the word "educating" means "leading out" -

involves people in all aspects of the business, the community and

the world around them. An educated employee re-pays your trust a hundred-fold by becoming a better worker and a better

representative of the organisation.




"If you are planning for a year, sow rice; if you are planning for a

decade, plant trees; if you are planning for a lifetime, educate people." (Chinese proverb)

109. Where Training Leads

A consultant was visiting a top Japanese industrialist on a fact-finding mission. He was curious to find out how the Japanese

workforce achieved such huge productivity gains over their

counterparts in the West.

"First, we train, " said the industrialist.

"Then what?" asked the consultant. "We train," said the industrialist.

"And next?"

"We train." Smiling, the consultant asked: "What do you do next? Train?"

"No," said the industrialist. "We educate." "OK," said the consultant. "And then what?"

"Then we succeed," said the industrialist.

110. Empowering

When you have power and release it in others, it comes back to

you with credit. Empowering those you lead means:

· respecting them as individuals in their own right

· encouraging them through showing interest and support

· letting them own their jobs and take as much control as they can

· seeking their views and contributions

· making people feel good about what they do

· restoring pride in their workmanship

· not treating them in ways you would hate to be treated

yourself.

"Make a careful list of all the things done to you that you

abhorred. Don't do them to others, ever. Make another list of all the things done to you that you loved. Do them to others,

always." (Dee Hock)




111. The Builder

One popular image of the successful leader is the person who, by

force of willpower, charisma and personality takes over an ailing enterprise and magically turns it around, transforming failure into

success, loss into profit and disaster into triumph.

The reality is that there are very few examples of such

leadership. And yet there are many examples of leaders who

come into an enterprise, set themselves and their teams a vision of what is possible and then bit by bit, through hard times and

good build towards the vision.

"The great successful men and women of the world have used

their imaginations; they think ahead and create their mental

picture and then go to work materialising that picture in all its details, filling in here, adding a little bit there, altering this bit

and that bit, but steadily building, steadily building." (Robert Collier)

112. Working with Time

Building the team does not happen overnight, nor can the pace of real individual development be forced.

There is a plant called the Chinese bamboo plant which, when planted, shows no signs

of growth for four years. Nevertheless, it

must be tended, fed and watered with care throughout this time. Then, in its fifth year,

it starts to grow and inside six weeks

reaches a magnificent height of ninety feet. Sometimes, people are like the Chinese

bamboo plant.

Ray Treen, chief executive of Cornhill Insurance, says: "I am a

long-distance runner, not a sprinter. What I lack in charisma, I

more than make up for in persistence. If you're passionate about your goals, persistence and patience are the keys."




113. The Leader Withdraws

When leaders have created and coached the team, built them

into an interdependent unit, removed the limitations to what they believe they can do, and empowered them to stand on their own,

then the team can perform without the leader's presence or

leadership. It doesn't matter whether it is on the battlefield or the business park.

"If you're a rifle company commander, or one of our team leaders, you may well be a casualty of the first bullet. If that

happens, and if the unit that you trained has the discipline and

the character to accomplish its objective without you, then that's a reflection of your commitment and your contribution.

Ultimately, the most effective measure of a leader is the performance of his unit in his absence." (J. Schoomaker, quoted

in the Ninth House Network).

8. Positivity


Maximising Your Potential: 158 steps that will show

you how to discover and use your own hidden

talents.)

Positive ways of thinking and behaving have become

synonymous with self-development and are the trademark of all those who want to achieve their goals in life. Positivity means

rejecting those things which hold us back and keep us grounded

in the present or the past. Our positive spirit is the Adventurer in us. It is the part of us that glimpses what we are capable of.

Through learning how to think positively about our goals, and to

act positively in our daily habits, we attract to ourselves all the means which make our goals achievable. In this way, positivity

has in itself the quality of magic.




114. What is Positivity?

Positivity is not a Pollyanna-ish rose-coloured view of things

which ignores reality. It is about seeing things as they are and about making choices in how to perceive, interpret and respond.

If you can choose between big goals and small ones, choose big ones;

If you can choose between the best

interpretation and the worst, choose the best;

If you can choose between a good deed and

a bad, choose the good deed; If you can choose between being happy and

being sad, choose to be happy;

If you can choose between liking and disliking, choose liking; If you can choose between loving and not loving, choose loving.

115. The Faces of Positivity

There are seven faces of positivity:

1. create a positive self-image. A positive self-image is the image you

have of yourself succeeding in your

goals. 2. talk in terms of positive goals. You

cannot achieve a negatively-defined

goal 3. have positive expectations.

Whenever you think of the future, look

to experience the very best results. 4. always review positively. A positive

review is one which starts and ends on

a high note, remembering what you gain from each experience. 5. mix with positive people. People who think positively are

uplifting, encouraging and fun to be with.

6. use positivity to feel good. Positive thinking is good medicine. 7. get the positivity habit. Introduce a note of positive thinking

into everyday habits.




116. The Self-Image

Maxwell Maltz, one-time cosmetic surgeon turned psychoanalyst,

relates that many clients with facial disfigurements consulted him to undergo major surgery to correct something wrong with how

they looked. But in many cases, people felt no better after the

treatment than before.

Maltz concluded that it is the imagined self-image that

determines how we feel about ourselves not the actual image. We are who we think we are regardless of how we actually are or

how we appear to the rest of the world.

So, if we can choose between a negative self-image and a

positive one, we should choose the positive one that emphasises

our achievements, our successes and our strengths. As Maltz demonstrated, all lasting change starts on the inside and works

its way out.

117. Gold

"What I am giving you is gold.

Mothers, fathers, managers, bosses, superintendants, company

presidents, everybody, heed this: raise your own self-esteem to

where it belongs and good things will happen, both for you and others. How do you do that? You do it through your self-talk. You

must think well of yourself. You must know you're good. Start by

controlling your own self-talk. From here forward, it is out of place in your life or your business to be devaluative, belittling, or

sarcastic. Such junk has no place in a high-performance

organisation just as it has no place in a high-performance individual.

What you will do is start looking for ways to boost your morale with your self-talk. You are

going to do it regularly. You are going to do it

every day: morning, noon and night." (Louis Tice)




118. Positive Goals

Our brains need images of positive goals to work towards. They

become confused if we even talk in terms of avoiding a negative goal.

Research into giving up smoking has discovered that one of the most effective ways to stop smoking is to feed the brain images

of situations when you are not smoking.

Not: I want to stop smoking.

But: I want to enjoy a pleasant evening at the pub, have a

couple of cool drinks, a tasty meal, lively conversation; and all the time breathe in fresh, clear, pure, uncontaminated air.

As well as thinking positively, this goal can be turned into a present-tense affirmation: "I love being in a pub in nice clean air"

or a visualisation: "I can see myself sitting in a pub with nice clear air."

119. Positive Expectations

There have been numerous experiments to confirm the truth that when you expect the

best, you usually get the best and when you

expect the worst, you usually get that too. This is known as the self-prophesying

principle.

Kelly conducted research in colleges to show

that, when some students were told that

their new lecturer was "warm and friendly", and others were told that she was "cold and aloof", these were the impressions people

had after the first lecture.

So at the start of any new enterprise, or at the start of any new

job, or the start of any new day, we should look forward with

expectations of the very best.




120. Salutation to the Dawn

The following verse reflects positive expectation.

Look to this day:

For it is life, the very life of life;

In its brief course Lie all the verities and realities of your existence:

The bliss of growth,

The glory of action, The splendour of beauty.

For yesterday is but a dream,

And tomorrow is only a vision; But today well liv'd makes every

yesterday a dream of happiness

And every tomorrow a vision of hope. Look well therefore to this day!

Such is the salutation to the dawn.

(Kalidasa - Indian dramatist)

121. Positive Review

If we can be positive at the start of an enterprise, we should be

equally positive at the end.

We often don't look back at all when we reach a milestone in our

progress. We take it for granted that we have made progress or,

worse, dwell on the things that didn't go too well.

Being critical by picking out the things that we didn't do well or

failed at is the scourge of the perfectionist. We will never be satisfied and will become discouraged.

There are gems in every situation if we only look hard enough. So, when we look back we should use positive phrases and words

to emphasise what went well.




122. Giving Positive Feedback

John had just completed his first game in goal for the school

under-12's. They had lost 4-1.

John's head was as low as it could get on his mud-splattered

jersey. His Dad met him as he trudged wearily from the goalmouth. He

crouched down so that their two faces met.

"Chin up, John," his Dad said. "You've just finished one of the toughest games you'll face this year. They're a good side, one of

the best and you managed to put a really good goal past them."

"But they put four past us!" said John tearfully. "Great!" said his Dad. "You can learn just how they managed to

get them past you and work out how to plug the gaps in future.

Now you know how to stop them in the replay." "You think so?" asked John.

"I know so," said his Dad.

123. It's In the Words

How we perceive something often depends on the words we use

to describe it.

One organisation that undertook a culture change programme

decided to change the way employees at all different levels felt about each other. When they started looking at the way people

expressed themselves, they found people's language littered with

hierarchical words, such as "superiors" for managers and "subordinates" for the staff. By changing such words to "team-

leaders" and "the team", a start was made to more positive

attitudes.

A tough problem is not difficult or depressing, but "interesting"

and "a nut we're going to enjoy cracking". A setback is not a disaster, failure or catastrophe, but a chance to learn, an

interesting development or a chance to assess. An obstacle is not

a barrier but a challenge.




124. Igniters & Chloroforms

Igniters are words that make us spark; cholroforms are words

that deaden the nerve ends.

Examples of Igniters:

· That's great! ·Good job!

· I made a mistake. I'm sorry; can you help me?

· Fantastic! · Well done!

· Go for it!

Examples of chloroforms:

· Yes, but it won't work.

· It's all my fault. · Who do you think you are!

· How dare you? · If it were any good, someone would have thought of it.

125. Mix with Positive People

Surrounding yourself with people who think positively is easier said than done, but, given time and a change in habits, the most

negative person can become positive.

Allan Pease recalls how one of his colleagues, Alan, was

conducting a seminar on communication. One student would

make for him during each break and find any excuse to complain. He would complain about the rain, about his football team, about

how he was being treated by his ex-wife and so on and on. Alan

decided that he would ignore every single negative comment. He just looked elsewhere, picked at his lunch or read the newspaper.

When however the odd positive comment cropped up, Alan's face

would light up and he would engage in normal conversation. After using this technique for a while, the student started to

communicate good-naturedly with Alan while reverting back to

pessimism with everyone else.




126. The Electricity of Life

Enthusiasm is the common thread that links all positive people.

Gordon Parks called it "the electricity of life" and Charles Kingsley said that what everyone needed in life was not comforts but

"something to be enthusiastic about".

The composer Mozart has been described as "psychotically

positive". In one letter that he wrote to his wife about the

opening performance of one of his operas, he enthusiastically described all the positive aspects of the performance. Only at the

end of the letter and by way of after-thought did he explain that

the opera had received no critical acclaim and the audience had numbered only ten!

"You can do anything if you have enthusiasm. It is the yeast that makes our hopes rise to the stars. With it, there is

accomplishment, without it there are only alibis." (Henry Ford)

127. Good Medicine

Some of the most interesting work on

positivity has been in the area of positivity and health.

One study by Dr George Gallup in the 1960's looked at people who passed the age of 95.

Gallup wanted to find out what their secret

was.

Along with "staying busy" and "eating in small quantities", a

majority of the respondents said that they had something positive to look forward to, whether this was a trip they were

planning, a task they wanted to complete or people they wanted

to see.

It is as if the body just doesn't want to think unhealthily if it has

valuable goals to achieve and positive things to do.




128. Positivity as Pain-Relief

Emile Coué, the founder of auto-suggestion, recommended the

following positivity technique for dealing with mental or physical pain.

"Every time during the course of a day that you experience some suffering, affirm to yourself immediately that you will get rid of it.

Then isolate yourself, close your eyes and laying your hand on

the affected part of the body, or the forehead if it is a mental problem, repeat these words as quickly as possible: "It's going

away; it's going away; it's going away"...until the pain goes

away. With practice you can get rid of any kind of pain in about 20 seconds."

129. The Positivity Habit

Good habits are as easy to make as are bad habits. If we can

choose to be positive in our daily routines, then we might as well

make positive habits and feel happy as make negative ones and feel sad.

Here is a checklist of daily positive habits:

· dress the best you can

· smile at others and watch what happens · try to genuinely like others

· use positive strokes

· when you meet a stranger, be the first to shake hands · be interested in the world around you

· give others the most precious gift you have: some of your time

· take time over your personal grooming to look your best · give yourself treats for work well done.

130. What You Think You Can...

Some years ago a major oil company decided to find out why some of their engineers were creative and others were not.

A team of psychologists spent three months in the organisation studying the engineers and asking them questions. At the end of




the investigation they produced a report. The conclusion was

simple. There was no difference in qualifications, training, education, experience, general skills, nor in company position,

between the creative engineers and the non-creative ones.

The only difference was that the creative engineers thought that

they were creative while the non-creative thought they weren't.

In life you get what you believe you'll get.

9. Teamwork


Magical Teamwork: 136 steps that will show you how

to turn groups into teams.)

In all strong teams, there is evidence of behaviour which is

aimed at strengthening the way the team works as a team. It

can be seen when the team interacts whilst carrying out their normal business. At first, these behaviours may have to be

consciously learnt and applied, since some of them - sharing, for

example, - are not instinctive behaviours. In time, these strands of interacting are observed, tested and repeated by others in the

team until they become a way of team life.

131. Acts of Teamwork

Acts of teamwork are those things which the members of a team

do to encourage the interdependence of the team. In teams that

are already well-developed and successful, these acts may

appear to happen spontaneously and naturally. In teams which

are at earlier stages of development, they may need to be

consciously applied.

Eight key acts of teamwork that will foster interdependence and

the team's development are: 1. sharing, ie sharing of ideas, plans, and feelings




2. asking for help from others in the team

3. building a positive can-do climate 4. making people feel important in the

team

5. trust in those on whom you rely 6. giving constructive feedback

7. convergent rather than divergent

thinking 8. taking risks together.

132. Sharing

It is a uniquely human characteristic to give and receive. A six-month old baby that receives things from its mother will, by the

time it is nine months old be handing them back to her as well.

Teams become stronger not just when we share goals,

information and ideas, but when we share personal things such as feelings, fears, values and needs, as well.

Open acts of sharing are the mainstay of good teams. They break down the barriers of defensiveness and tell others that the team

is more important than any individual on their own.

133. Sharing Goals

Goals can exist in different time frames, from daily goals to

lifetime goals; and in different dimensions,

from personal goals to shared goals. When people focus on goals that are big, exciting

and reachable only through combined

efforts, then a new and powerful motivation

enters teamwork.

Three people were working on a construction site. All were doing the same

job but when each one was asked what he was doing, the

answers varied. "Breaking rocks", said the first.

"Earning a living," answered the second.

"Helping to build a cathedral," replied the third.




(Peter Schultz, Porsche)

134. Living Goals

When groups have a clear knowledge of the goal they're working

towards, and are committed to it, they become a team. Team-

builders can assist this process if they...

· have a goal that is simply stated

· communicate it to everyone in the team especially newcomers · make it a living daily goal, not a far-off dream

· check that it means something to everyone

· make the goal worthwhile · take every opportunity to repeat it, re-phrase it and re-frame it.

"When xne key xn the typewriter dxesn't wxrk prxperly, it's like xne persxn in the team nxt playing their full part.

It destrxys the whxle effect."

135. Asking for Help

Seeking help from others is a sign of a maturing team. Instead of

pretending that we know it all, we are honest to admit we don't know everything and need help.

We often hesitate to ask for help because we think we should know the answers, or because we fear being rejected. It may

also be the culture of the organisation that people are judged on

their own abilities and so asking for help is a sign of weakness; only losers need help.

That way does not build teams.

One way to encourage mutual reliance is to

get each team member to work for a period

of time with each other team member in turn. This helps people to appreciate the

strengths of others in the team and to learn

from them. In larger organisations, people from one function should spend time with people from other functions.




136. Geese In Flight

Geese fly in a V shape to protect members of the flock and to

conserve energy.

As the bird in front travels forward, it leaves a gap behind it

called a vortice. This means that its following teammates have less air resistance to fly against.

When the leader gets tired, it moves to the back of the V and all the geese move up the formation so that

each of them gets a turn at leading.

The formation allows all the geese to keep

an eye on each other. This care and the

technique of flying means that a flock of geese can cover 70% more distance than a

bird flying on its own.

Because each bird maximizes its strength, it is also much harder

for predators to single out any bird for attack. This ensures the survival of the flock.

137. A Can-Do Climate

Strong teams have an unshakeable belief that they and everyone else are going to win from being in the team.

· goals are described in terms of what the team can achieve not what it can't

· people look for the best points in

each other and build on them · when one member has a setback,

the whole team feel it and rally

round · supportive and encouraging

phrases outnumber knocking and

denigrating phrases · the team's vision is described

repeatedly and in clear achievement

images




· the success of one team member is shared equally and without

envy by all team members.

138. The 3 A's, not the 3 C's

Jim and Sid are two team leaders on a manufacturing site. They

work on different shifts but their teams do the same job. Jim has a great team; Sid has a poor team.

Jim and Sid rarely have time to meet and discuss their teams, until they find themselves together at coffee on day one of a

training course.

Sid: Jim, you're so lucky having such a good team. I'd willingly

swap yours with mine.

Jim: Wouldn't make any difference, Sid.

Sid: How's that? Jim: It's not about who you've got; it's about how you think

about them and what you do.

Sid: What do you mean?

Jim: Well, take yourself and Ian, your deputy. You're full of the 3

C's.

Sid: The what?

Jim: The 3 C's: criticising, complaining, and condemning...

Sid: Too right.

Jim: ...whereas we ban the 3 C's and try to use the 3 A's.

Sid: What are they then?

Jim: Accept, acknowledge and appreciate. We try to let everyone on the team know they belong to the team, even the poor

performers. That's "accepting". Then we acknowledge them. We

use their names a lot and we let them know they're important. Lastly, we let them know we appreciate them. That's because we

do.




139. Valuing Others

We all need to feel important. When

we are valued, we take pride in who we are and what we do. The acts of

valuing others can be taken by

anyone in the team.

Know who the team members are.

Use their name. Remember personal things about them. Show interest.

Don't judge others. Give them

strokes of recognition. Listen to them. Accept them for who they

are.

Warren Bennis is professor of business administration at the

University of Southern California. The campus is in what he describes as a "dry, crack-infested part of LA". But, he says,

every morning is a delight because the grounds of the university

are kept so green and fresh forming a contrast to the surrounding city. "It makes a big difference to me, but I wonder

if anyone has reminded the gardeners of the importance of their

work."

140. The Familiarity Curve

The "Familiarity Curve" throws some interesting and amusing

light on how we address others in a large team.

· close familiarity, as expressed in pet names, nicknames or

abbreviated names, is usually reserved for those nearest, and curiously, for those furthest away, (eg "Joe")

· those who are not so close, nor so distant, are more formally addressed, though still with some friendliness, (eg "Joseph")

· those who occupy the middle ground between closeness and distance are often addressed most formally (eg "Mr Brown" or

"Brown").




141. Trust

Trust is the invisible glue of strong teams.

In teams which live with danger -

firefighters, rescue teams, the armed forces,

circus troupes - your life may depend on others. You need to trust them as much as

they have to trust you.

You can't make people trust you but you can create a trusting

climate by...

· showing unconditional trust in your fellow team members

· not withdrawing trust even when others let you down

· keeping your promises · disclosing weaknesses and parts of yourself that are vulnerable

· working to eliminate secrecy, selfishness, hidden agendas and politicking.

142. Constructive Feedback

We find it easier to give criticism than to give praise. This is often in the mistaken belief that we can change people if we point out

what they are doing wrong rather than point out what they are

doing right.

Constructive feedback is a way to tell others in the team what we

like about what they are doing and at the same time suggest ways in which they can do even better. Its premise is that there

is always something in a person's performance that you can

praise and build on.

"Rachel, I thought your handling of that

customer was really good. I liked the way you showed him you were listening. Your

body language was really spot on. I wasn't

sure about threatening to report him for the swearing. I would have ignored it myself.

But I'm going to try out your listening tactics

myself."




143. Convergent Thinking

In a discussion in which divergent listening predominates, people's views go off into space and are lost forever.

In convergent listening, the team captures everything that is said. They look for and find connections and links between what

one person says, what another has said, what has gone before

and what might come after. This is because they spend more time listening to others than they do to themselves. Instead of

pushing their own viewpoint, as happens in divergent listening,

they seek to add to what others say, link it to other viewpoints and so build on it.

"That's an interesting idea, Ann; it ties in with what Jimmy was just saying. It doesn't go as far as Ron's point. Maybe we should

hear if anyone else can bridge the gap..."

144. Groups and Teams

Groups are defined as collections of individuals who come

together in order to put forward their own views. They are principally interested in coming up with the best individual idea

rather than a group idea. Groups are therefore essentially

competitive. Teams, on the other hand, work together.

Peter Honey has studied the behaviours of groups and the

behaviours of teams. According to his findings, team behaviours are

noticeably more convergent than

group behaviours:

· teams spend more time seeking

ideas, suggesting ideas, building on

ideas, supporting ideas and seeking information

· groups spend more time proposing

their own ideas, disagreeing with what others say, pointing out the

problems in others' ideas and

clarifying what has been said.




145. Taking Risks

The team's unique capacity for support comes to the fore when the team takes risks and navigates its way through change.

Risks and change occur in the natural development of teams but are also an unavoidable feature of the modern world of work.

Teams can support each other when changes are imposed from outside. The strength of a good team also means that when

change is undertaken from within the team, the burden of risk is

shared if it all goes wrong. Teams allow us to take greater and bigger risks than we could afford to take alone.

"Great discoveries and improvements invariably involve the co-operation of many minds." (Alexander Graham Bell)

146. A Model of Change

Elisabeth Kubler-Ross has developed a model of risk-taking

change in which she signposts seven stages where the team's

support is crucial. Any team facing externally-imposed or self-imposed change may go through these stages before the change

is fully accepted.

Stage 1: shock: "This is hard!"

Stage 2: denial: "I can't handle this!"

Stage 3: frustration: "Nothing works properly any more." Stage 4: depression: "This is hopeless. I can't see a way out."

Stage 5: experimentation: "Maybe if...; it might work if..."

Stage 6: decisions: "I think I'll try it this way..."

Stage 7: integration: "It works!"

147. Team Morale

Morale shows itself as a state of mind radiating confidence in people.

Where each member feels sure of his own niche, stands on his

own abilities and works out his own solutions knowing he is part of a team.




Where no person feels anxiety to be better than anyone else.

Where there exists a sharing of ideas, a freedom to plan, a sureness of worth and a knowledge that help is available for the

asking.

To the end that people grow and mature, warmed by a friendly climate.

10. Time Travellers


Balanced Time Management: 155 steps that will

show you how to balance your time and manage

your life.)

No time management programme can be complete without recognizing the effect of personality on attitudes towards time.

Our deep-rooted personalities play a part in determining whether

we are workaholics, work-avoiders, procrastinators, dreamers, achievers, socialisers, idlers, analysers or work fanatics.

Being aware of how personalities affect time management means being able to accept not just how we are but how others are too.

148. Time Tendencies

None of us can ever fully master time, just as none of us can ever fully master our lives. We

are subject to the imperfections of being

human and in particular, the constraining personality traits which we both inherit and

acquire as we grow up.

Our individual personalities colour our attitude towards time in

one of two directions: doing too much or too little.

· the tendency to do too much: ie, those who over-focus and

overwork and create imbalance in their lives. An example is the

workaholic who lives for nothing but his or her career or the hyperactive who is never still.




· the tendency to do too little: ie, the lazy, the fearful and the

melancholic. An example is the procrastinator who fears making a mistake and the risk-taker who loves the thrill of leaving things

to the last minute.

149. Nine Time Travellers

Our different personalities create within each of us a particular

atttitude towards time. Each personality type has positive as well

as negative characteristics; no type has a monopoly on the best approach to time management; but all have the potential to grow

and change.

The nine Time Travellers are:

1. the perfectionist who likes to plan each

moment 2. the socialiser who likes to spend time with

others 3. the achiever who likes to be winning all

the time

4. the artist who likes to fully experience each moment

5. the analyser who likes to observe each moment

6. the doubter who likes to be sure of each moment 7. the hurrier who likes to rush each moment

8. the rebel who likes to live intensely in each moment

9. the wanderer who likes to be free in each moment.

150. The Perfectionist

The Perfectionist is typically a workaholic who spends time

working hard to achieve what he or she regards as the perfect

piece of work.

Characteristics: conscientious; sets large challenges; works hard in order to avoid failure; believes in high standards; works

to a set routine; pleased with praise; upset by criticism.

Good at: planning each day; self-development; finding solutions. Poor at: making decisions (in case he or she gets it wrong);

knowing when enough's enough; relaxing by doing nothing.




Time management symbol: the 3 o'clock clock. Jean-Paul

Sartre described the 3 o'clock clock as "too early or too late" for anything you want to start or finish: the typical dilemma of work-

obsessed perfectionists.

151. A Perfectionist's Time

The Perfectionist doesn't believe he or she has a problem with

time management: after all, they find time planning second-

nature, have the capacity for hard work and do achieve work of a high standard. The Perfectionist is typified by playwright George

Bernard Shaw who wrote mechanically every day of his life at set

times and to given targets. He later said: "When I was a young man, I observed that nine out of ten things I did were failures. I

didn't want to be a failure, so I did ten times more work."

To others: To others, perfectionists are unbalanced in their zeal

for work. Many people feel there is a holier-than-thou attitude towards time management by perfectionists.

For balance: For a more balanced management of their time, perfectionists need to see that perfection is unattainable and that

"good enough" is usually good enough.

152. The Socialiser

The Socialiser likes to spend their time in

contact with others. This can work in their

favour as time managers because they can build valuable relationships that help get

things done. It can also work against them if

they overdevelop the purely social side of

their working life at the expense of

achieving useful work.

Characteristics: friendly; sociable; talkative; gossipy; warm;

caring; excitable; nurturing; nervous.

Good at: creating positive ambiences in which others work; persuading others to do things with or for them; working for

others selflessly.




Poor at: planning their own lives; making personal changes;

sticking to routines. Time management symbol: the phone, which is the umbilical

cord for the Socialiser to the world outside.

153. A Socialiser's Time

Without strong personal ambitions, Socialisers are not good time

planners. Work is about being with others, not personal

achievement. The most favourite milieu for the Socialiser is the meeting room. Meetings involving the Socialisers are always

sociable affairs since they will worry as much about how others

are as about what's on the agenda.

To others: To others, Socialisers can be frustrating time

managers: they have few ideas, ambitions or techniques of their own and prefer to do what others want rather than work out

what they want.

For balance: For a more balanced approach to managing their

time, Socialisers need to see the positive work benefits in their relationships with others, not just the social benefits.

154. The Achiever

The Achiever is a highly ambitious person who prizes work for the success it brings. Achievers want to impress others and see

work as a way of doing this. They will therefore volunteer to do

any job and take any task if it promises a reward.

Characteristics: ambitious; popular; attractive; sexy; good-

looking; successful; smart; confident; fit; energetic.

Good at: making jobs look easy; accommodating themselves to

others; juggling high levels of work.

Poor at: knowing their limits; saying "No"; delivering their promises; depth to their work.

Time management symbol: the promotion ladder: Achievers

rate work as the highest priority closely followed by organisational success.




155. An Achiever's Time

Achievers know that they are good at what they do. They have

few self-doubts about their abilities. They are quite ready to take on any job and have high workloads. They collect jobs willingly if

this will make them look good in other people's eyes.

To others: Superficially, the Achievers seem to come close to

the perfect time manager: suave, relaxed, debonair, hard-

working, successful, someone you'd want on your team. However, there may be a different story under the surface: jobs

collected may not get done; jobs may lack originality and depth;

success may just be show.

For balance: Instead of volunteering to do everything, Achievers

can be more productive when they stick to what they're good at. "I think knowing what you can't do is more important than

knowing what you can do." (Lucille Ball)

156. The Artist

The Artist is a figure who doesn't quite fit into organisational life.

He or she may be a loner, may not dress, speak or act like others in the workplace and is likely not to want to conform to the rules,

standards and norms that everyone else has to follow.

Characteristics: different; special; sensitive; feels deeply;

sympathetic; thoughtful; appreciative; empathetic; creative.

Good at: unique insights; working beyond the call of duty at something they believe in; innovative work.

Poor at: being on time; following procedures; routine work.

Time management symbol: the colour purple: Artist personality types share Alice Walker's comment in the film "The

Color Purple": "I think it pisses God off if you walk by the colour

purple in a field somewhere and don't notice it."

157. An Artist's Time

Artists have a cavalier attitude to time which they regard as a

constraint and restriction. They thus arrive late and stay late; reluctantly follow rotas, and frequently miss deadlines.




To others: Artists can be frustrating members of the workforce because of their bucking of systems. Their saving grace is that

they allow us to see the value of an alternative view of work that

is not based on following the conformist route but is personal, individual and deeply felt. When they succeed, they remind us

that time at work can still be spent on creating things of real

value and beauty.

Advice for balance: Artists who work in organisations need to

cultivate their patch with hard work as well as reminding us, as

they do, that now and again, we need to stop and watch the

flowers grow.

158. The Analyser

The Analyser is a great student of work rather than a great

participant in it. They are gifted at reading, understanding and interpreting situations; and can cast light on complex problems

and relationships for others. They make good agony aunts,

counsellors and listeners.

Characteristics: thoughtful; inquisitive; curious; well-read;

analytical; amusing; uninvolved; hate the spotlight; deflect attention; bookish.

Good at: working things out in their heads; standing back from

problems; putting concepts into words. Poor at: acting on their own advice; getting involved; self-

development.

Time management symbol: the monastic ivory tower where time stands still.

159. An Analyser's Time

The Analyser has a touch of the absent-minded professor about them. They can easily get so wrapped up in their thoughts and

ideas or in conversation with others that they can forget the

routine details of daily life - such as preparing a meal, going to bed on time, keeping appointments.




To others: Analysers can be valuable for their intellectual

contributions but may prefer it when others do the work.

"Thinking is easy, acting is difficult, and to put one's thoughts

into action is the most difficult thing in the world." (Goethe)

Advice for balance: Analysers need to beware of the danger of

"analysis paralysis": spending more time chewing things over than getting results.

160. The Doubter

The Doubter is a person who hesitates to act because he or she is unsure whether they should. It may be because something

hasn't been decided, or information isn't yet available or because

a higher authority hasn't sanctioned it. Doubters are the great procrastinators, questioners and hesitators.

Characteristics: loyal to others; good in teams; likes

leadership; seeks protection; wants certainty; unsure.

Good at: following instructions to the letter, Doubters will arrive not just on time but very early; handling responsibility to others;

working in a team.

Poor at: taking his or her own decisions; risk and change; self-belief.

Time management symbol: the question mark: Doubters

always need to know a bit more before they will act.

161. A Doubter's Time

Doubters make very good organisational men and women

because they believe that their time belongs to others whom

they are contracted to work for. They will therefore drop anything

at any time if asked to, no matter what the cost in piled-up work

or stress.

To others: Doubters are often highly competent, well-adjusted,

loyal and dependable servants of companies but they frequently don't make it to the top. In Bill Cosby's words, it may be because

they are attuned to others' needs more than their own: "I don't




know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please

everybody."

Advice for balance: For balanced time management, Doubters

need to regularly re-assess how much time they give to others and how much time they keep to themselves.

162. The Hurrier

The Hurrier is a person who manages to combine a wide range of activities in a short

space of time. Everything they do is done at

a quick pace: they move quickly, talk quickly, think quickly. In an age of short

attention spans and busy living, Hurriers

appear dynamic time managers.

Characteristics: cheerful; busy; active; versatile; never short of something to do; smiling; quick-paced;

frenetic.

Good at: any kind of activity; energy to do many things; organising.

Poor at: prioritising workloads; being easily distracted; sticking

to one thing for long. Time management symbol: the hare, as in the fable of the

tortoise and the hare; or the indigestion tablet: Hurriers rarely

have time to eat a full meal or not be doing something else while they're eating. "He who sows in a hurry reaps indigestion."

163. A Hurrier's Time

Hurriers believe they have a positive attitude to time: they

appear to know a lot, achieve a lot, leaving others for dust. This

is fine for work that is fast-paced but less so for work that needs

more depth, care and sensitivity.

"The trouble with life in the fast lane is that you get to the other

end in an awful hurry." (John Jensen)

To others: Hurriers are often loners who work at a pace which

others simply cannot match. Their value in a team is that they




will often volunteer to do work that nobody else wants to do -

and do it.

Advice for balance: Rushing through life may mean you get to

the end quicker than you'd planned - through burn-out, exhaustion and illness. Hurriers can learn that slowing down has

its benefits too.

164. The Rebel

The Rebel is one of life's fighters whose

passion is the heat of battle. They are

defenders of the weak; empassioned challengers to anything unfair; chargers on

white horses. Rebels are reactive to the

moment: they come to life by living to the full in the moment, whether in an argument,

a piece of work or a party with friends.

Characteristics: loud; confident; dynamic; leaders; outgoing;

extrovert; battling; argumentative; entrepreneurial; strong. Good at: squeezing every last minute out of time; living life on

the edge; defying deadlines; acting spontaneously and

instinctively. Poor at: learning from the past; planning for the future; suiting

other people's plans; going at other people's pace.

Time management symbol: the candle that burns at both ends.

165. A Rebel's Time

Rebels believe that time is something to be

challenged and beaten. They thus like to run

late for deadlines, coming to life in the

tension this creates and knowing that they

will beat it in the end. They push time to the limit.

"My candle burns at both ends; It will not last the night.

But, ah, my foes and oh, my friends: It gives a lovely light." (Edna St Vincent Millay)




To others: To others, Rebels sometimes seem blessed with an

uncanny ability for timeliness: they appear to bend time to their will. When others give in to time, they believe they can conquer

it.

Advice for balance: Because they live intensely in the moment,

Rebels ignore both the past and the future. They can thus fail to

learn from their past experiences and occasionally fail because of their reluctance to plan.

166. The Wanderer

The Wanderer is a person who loves the freedom to go where they want. He or she believes life should be simple and without

commitment. They are thus frequently absent - both in body and

spirit. They are usually elsewhere when you want them and, if you can tie them down, they find it hard to concentrate for long

on one thing.

Characteristics: relaxed; easy-going; peacemakers; no

problem; at ease with the world; unambitious; content; likeable. Good at: enjoying what life brings; going with the flow; keeping

things simple; avoiding confrontation.

Poor at: committing themselves to time and place; staying around for long; exerting themselves.

Time management symbol: the empty desk and chair - where

the Wanderer was until they took off.

167. A Wanderer's Time

Wanderers are more in tune with natural

cycles than with the artificial timescales of

the workplace. They tend to go with the

mood. On the other hand, they tend to want

to avoid excessive commitments, so will despatch their duties as early, quickly and as simply as they can.

Wanderers are not ambitious but they manage to achieve a high

level of contentment. "Nice guys finish last, but we get to sleep in." (Evan Davis)




To others: Wanderers can be frustrating when they miss

appointments or fail to turn up. The compensation is that business is always despatched simply with a Wanderer.

Advice for balance: If others can teach Wanderers about commitment, Wanderers can teach the workaholics about

enjoyment. "All the animals except man know that the principal

business of life is to enjoy it." (Samuel Butler)




End of the Step by Step Sampler

-------------------

Other Books In This Series

Now that you’ve worked through this sampler, why not fully develop your

team’s skills with the full versions of the

books in the MTL Step by Step Series? Order any individual book to learn a

specific skill, or order the full set. It could be the best investment you ever make in

you and your team.

To order any books in the Step by Step Series, contact any ManageTrainLearn re-seller, or

visit http://www.managetrainlearn.com





Books In The MTL “Step By Step” Training Series

Now that you’ve worked through this coursebook, why not fully develop your skills with other books in the MTL “Step By Step”

Training Series? Order any individual book to learn a specific

skill, or order the full set. It could be the best investment you ever make in you and your team.

Here is the full MTL Step by Step Training Series.

1. Turn Your Team Into Top Performers – Even

The Dullards! Step by Step to Perfect Appraisals

Don’t waste your greatest asset and allow your

competitors to walk all over you. Acquire the know-how to take your team to the top through the skills

of performance coaching and appraisal.

2. Assert Yourself And Re-Discover Your

Hidden Self-Confidence Step by Step to The Real Assertive You

It’s true! When you learn the skills of

assertiveness, something amazing happens to you. You re-discover that inside, you really are as

confident and assured as you want to be.

3. Master The Challenge Of Change!

Step by Step to Change Management

Are you up to the challenge of change, or content to be another casualty? Master what experts call “the

most difficult skill that managers face” and come

out of change on top.

4. Write Your Own Paycheck!

Step by Step to Masterful Communications Have you noticed how nearly every job for a

manager requires communication skills? And have

you also noticed that good communication skills are as rare as hen’s teeth? Which means if you learn to

communicate like an expert every day is payday.




5. Solve People Problems…Don’t Paper Over The Cracks!

Step by Step to Skilful Counselling Skills

When your people have problems, so do you! If you ignore them, they just fester and get worse. Learn

how to manage them intelligently. The way the

experts do.

6. Get A-Plus Grades From Every One Of Your

Team!

Step by Step to Wow! Customer Care

In today’s business world, you can’t rely on a few of

your staff to deliver the goods while the rest just coast along. So get wise. Turn every one of your

team into customer service champs.

7. If You’re Not Delegating…Or

Empowering…You’re Not Managing!

Step by Step to Dynamic Delegation and Empowerment

Discover the secrets of 21st century management,

before your competitors do. Then sit back and watch your profits grow.

8. Don’t Ever Punish Your Staff Again! Step by Step to Effective Discipline

If you’re still punishing your staff when they do

something wrong, it could be costing you more than you think in poor morale, poor workmanship and

expensive legal claims. Instead learn how to manage discipline the way effective managers do.

9. Psst! Wanna Know The Secret Of Great Managers?

Step by Step to Understanding Personality Types

The secret is out! Surveys of the world’s top managers show that great managers are great

because they know what makes their people tick.

Take your first step towards greatness. Learn to manage personalities.




10. Don’t Push The River Upstream! Step by Step to Empowering Facilitation Skills

When you stop forcing people to go where you want

them to go, and go where they want to instead, you end up somewhere better. That’s the beauty of

facilitation: sheer management magic.

11. How Often Are You Shark-Bait?

Step by Step to Deal-Winning Influencing and

Negotiating Skills

If you frequently find yourself on the losing side of

deals then wake up. Negotiating and getting what

you want is a game and it’s won by the best players. Learn the rules and the skills. Become a

shark not shark-bait.

12. Don’t Believe What They Tell You! Leaders

Aren’t Born… They’re Made!

Step by Step to Quality Leadership Skills When you learn and practise the skills of leadership,

you’ll think you’ve grown another 12 inches. People

will trust you more. Follow you more. And look up to you more.

13. When You Follow Your Dreams, God Probably Smiles Knowingly To Himself

Step by Step to Maximising Your Potential

Discover the true meaning of success and happiness by learning how to make the most of your natural

strengths and gifts.

14. Present Like A Pro!

Step by Step to Professional Presentation Skills Imagine what it must be like to stand in front of an

audience and hold them in the palm of your hand

taking them where you want them to go and feeling great when you see their admiration and hear their

applause. Simple really. Presentation Skills.




15. Hire The Very Best! Step by Step to Exceptional Recruitment and

Selection

When you recruit to your team, you want the very best. But recruitment is a minefield for the unwary

and unprepared. One wrong move such as poor

groundwork…or bad interview technique and you could blow yourself up. Just think of the costs of a tribunal

case…or worse…a badly-made choice. Spare yourself the horrors

of hiring…and learn to do it right.

16. Why Settle For Stress Relief…When You

Can Have Super-Health? Step by Step to Stress Management That Works!

Most people today manage stress the way they

manage a headache: wait till it comes along and then pop a pill. As the real and imagined pressures

of our complex world increase, you need more than

a quick fix. You need a holistic programme that will deliver you super-health.

17. We Are All Angels With Only One Wing Step by Step to Magical Teambuilding

When one day a group of people suddenly becomes

a team, something magical happens. An experience they’ll never forget. A spiritual bond. Synergy. And

“you-won’t-believe-what-we-can-do” performance.

So add your own touch of magic today. Learn to build a team.

18. Turn Your Brain Into A High-Performing

Business Asset!

Step by Step to Creative Thinking Skills If you want to know what the most valuable

commodity in the Industrial Age was it was brawn:

power, strength and might. If you want to know what the most powerful commodity in the

Information Age is and will be it’s brains. Get ahead while you

can: learn how to use thinking skills now.




19. Don’t Trust A Time Management

System…That Gives You More Work! Step by Step to Balanced Time Management

There are hundreds of time management systems

on the market today many of them promising to make you more efficient if you just do a bit more

work! We don’t do that! Our “Four Elements” Time

Management system works with the way you are. No extra work. Just natural, simple and devastatingly effective.

20. The Most Successful Organisations Of The

Future Will Be Learning Ones

Step by Step to Resourceful Training Skills

If your organisation or team, isn’t a learning organisation or team, you might as well be history.

To succeed in the information age, you need

everyone to be a learner and everyone to be a coach. Nothing less will do. Are you prepared?

To order any books in the Step by Step Training Series, contact any ManageTrainLearn re-seller, or go to

www.managetrainlearn.com

