Forged by fire

The prophet Malachi wrote about God’s The prophet Malachi wrote about God’s role to purify and strengthen us:role to purify and strengthen us:““For he will be like a refiner’s fire. . . . He For he will be like a refiner’s fire. . . . He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver; . . . will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver; . . . and refine them like gold and silver”and refine them like gold and silver”(Mal 3:2-3).(Mal 3:2-3). Workbook Page 5Workbook Page 5Workbook Page 5Workbook Page 5

The Master MetalsmithThe Master Metalsmith

God Is the Master Metalsmith of Our LivesGod Is the Master Metalsmith of Our Lives

Remember this: The heat and Remember this: The heat and hammering we experience are for a hammering we experience are for a purpose.purpose.

God’s Purposes in Our Suffering Are:God’s Purposes in Our Suffering Are:

——SpecificSpecific and and personalpersonal: They don’t just : They don’t just happen out of the cosmic fog. God has a happen out of the cosmic fog. God has a specific plan for each of us, and suffering specific plan for each of us, and suffering is a part of his curriculum.is a part of his curriculum.

——intentionalintentional: He has specific lessons for : He has specific lessons for each of us to learn.each of us to learn.

——lovingloving: Even when we don’t sense it, : Even when we don’t sense it, our loving Father cares deeply for us.our loving Father cares deeply for us.

——sovereignsovereign: His plan for each of us is : His plan for each of us is according to his purposes, not ours.according to his purposes, not ours.

——often often inscrutableinscrutable: And he is guided by : And he is guided by his eternal perspective, not our limited his eternal perspective, not our limited understanding. We may not understand understanding. We may not understand what he is doing, but he always what he is doing, but he always understands completely.understands completely.

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A Look at the Life of JosephA Look at the Life of JosephJoseph Was:Joseph Was:

——resented by many in his own family,resented by many in his own family,

——sold into slavery by his own brothers,sold into slavery by his own brothers,

——falsely accused of rape by his boss’ wife,falsely accused of rape by his boss’ wife,

——unjustly thrown into prison to rot,unjustly thrown into prison to rot,

——forgotten by the very people who could forgotten by the very people who could deliver him, anddeliver him, and

——alienated from his family for years.alienated from his family for years.

But through all these years of But through all these years of disappointment, heartache, roadblocks, disappointment, heartache, roadblocks, and suffering, Joseph trusted that God and suffering, Joseph trusted that God had a purpose.had a purpose.

God Uses Suffering To . . .God Uses Suffering To . . .Clarify His SovereigntyClarify His Sovereignty

““You intended to harm me, but God You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many is now being done, the saving of many lives” (Gen 50:20).lives” (Gen 50:20).

Test Our FidelityTest Our Fidelity

““In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith—of greater worth than gold, which your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may be perishes even though refined by fire—may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed”and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed”(I Pet 1:6-7).(I Pet 1:6-7). Workbook Page 7Workbook Page 7Workbook Page 7Workbook Page 7

Strengthen Our DependencyStrengthen Our Dependency

As our faith is stretched, we have to As our faith is stretched, we have to determine what we really believe about determine what we really believe about God and his purposes. And we learn:God and his purposes. And we learn:

• • God’s love desires the best for us.God’s love desires the best for us.

• • God’s wisdom knows the best for us.God’s wisdom knows the best for us.

• • God’s faithfulness accomplishes theGod’s faithfulness accomplishes the best for usbest for us

Remove Our ImpuritiesRemove Our Impurities

Through the course of his life, Joseph Through the course of his life, Joseph learned an important lesson:learned an important lesson:

God is not nearly as interested in making God is not nearly as interested in making us happy as he is in making us holy.us happy as he is in making us holy.

Deepen Our EmpathyDeepen Our Empathy

Those of us who have suffered most Those of us who have suffered most deeply are those who can comfort others deeply are those who can comfort others most completely.most completely.

And Develop Our TenacityAnd Develop Our Tenacity

Ironically, adversity produces Ironically, adversity produces endurance, and endurance enables us to endurance, and endurance enables us to overcome adversity.overcome adversity.

Our Goals for This Seminar Are:Our Goals for This Seminar Are:

——To shed light on God’sTo shed light on God’s processprocess of of refining us—and give us refining us—and give us insightinsight..

——To experience God’s To experience God’s presencepresence in the in the midst of our suffering—and give usmidst of our suffering—and give us comfortcomfort..

——To give us a fresh perception of God’sTo give us a fresh perception of God’s

purposespurposes in our suffering—and give in our suffering—and give

us us hopehope so we can endure and grow. so we can endure and grow.

Putting Yourself in the Putting Yourself in the Refiner’s HandsRefiner’s Hands

DiscussionDiscussion

““I Deserve . . .”I Deserve . . .”The Victim MentalityThe Victim Mentality

Deep in our hearts we are convinced that Deep in our hearts we are convinced that we deserve better.we deserve better.

All of Us . . .All of Us . . .

Joseph’s Dysfunctional FamilyJoseph’s Dysfunctional Family

——His father showed favoritism.His father showed favoritism.

——His brothers were rebellious,His brothers were rebellious, jealous, and vicious.jealous, and vicious.

——His mother was over-protective.His mother was over-protective.

——His oldest brother, Reuben, wasHis oldest brother, Reuben, was

disinherited because he slept with hisdisinherited because he slept with his

father’s concubine.father’s concubine.

——Dinah, Joseph’s sister, was raped by Dinah, Joseph’s sister, was raped by the son of the town mayor.the son of the town mayor.

——Simeon and Levi, along with theirSimeon and Levi, along with their brothers, plotted revenge andbrothers, plotted revenge and slaughtered all the young men ofslaughtered all the young men of the community.the community.

——Judah thought he was having sexJudah thought he was having sex

with a prostitute, but it turned out towith a prostitute, but it turned out to

be his daughter-in-law.be his daughter-in-law.

——And the brothers sold Joseph intoAnd the brothers sold Joseph into

slavery, then lied to Jacob about it.slavery, then lied to Jacob about it.

Overcoming theOvercoming the““I Deserve” MentalityI Deserve” Mentality

1. Acknowledge God’s sovereignty.1. Acknowledge God’s sovereignty.

We don’t have to understand what God We don’t have to understand what God is doing to acknowledge that is doing to acknowledge that hehe understands what he is doing.understands what he is doing.

2. Beware the therapeutic trap.2. Beware the therapeutic trap.

3. Choose responsibility.3. Choose responsibility.

““The last of all great human freedoms The last of all great human freedoms is to choose one’s response to any given is to choose one’s response to any given set of circumstances.”—Victor Franklset of circumstances.”—Victor Frankl

4. Avoid the lure of immediate 4. Avoid the lure of immediate gratification.gratification.

The higher the goal, the more tenacity The higher the goal, the more tenacity and patience we need to achieve it.and patience we need to achieve it.

5. Cultivate a spontaneous obedience.5. Cultivate a spontaneous obedience.

A servant listens to his master’s voice A servant listens to his master’s voice and responds without hesitation and and responds without hesitation and without question.without question.

““Only he who believes is obedient, and Only he who believes is obedient, and only he who is obedient believes.” —only he who is obedient believes.” —Dietrich BonhoefferDietrich Bonhoeffer

6. Cultivate an attitude that sees the 6. Cultivate an attitude that sees the glass as “half full.”glass as “half full.”

Heat from Unexpected SourcesHeat from Unexpected Sources

““Them?! You’ve Got to be Kidding!”Them?! You’ve Got to be Kidding!”

But God . . .But God . . .

““Because the patriarchs were jealous Because the patriarchs were jealous of Joseph, they sold him as a slave into of Joseph, they sold him as a slave into Egypt. But God was with him. . .” Egypt. But God was with him. . .” (Acts 7:9).(Acts 7:9).

The Flaw of Unhealthy AmbitionThe Flaw of Unhealthy AmbitionOur Thirst for SuccessOur Thirst for Success

““As children, we dream of it;As children, we dream of it;we strive for it through our adult lives,we strive for it through our adult lives,and we suffer melancholy in old age if we and we suffer melancholy in old age if we have not reached it.”have not reached it.”

——Tony Campolo, Tony Campolo, The Success FantasyThe Success Fantasy

——Some say success is the result of being Some say success is the result of being in the in the right place at the right timeright place at the right time..

——Some say it’s getting the Some say it’s getting the right breaksright breaks..

——Some say it’s having the Some say it’s having the rightright connectionsconnections..

Ambition Is Not Necessarily SinAmbition Is Not Necessarily Sin

It is a neutral term. The rightness or It is a neutral term. The rightness or wrongness, the godliness or ungodliness wrongness, the godliness or ungodliness of ambition is determined by the object of ambition is determined by the object of our pursuit.of our pursuit.

““Should you then seek great things for Should you then seek great things for yourself? Seek them not” (Jer 45:5).yourself? Seek them not” (Jer 45:5).

““Seek first his kingdom and his Seek first his kingdom and his righteousness . . .” (Matt 6:33).righteousness . . .” (Matt 6:33).

Pursue “simple and pure devotion to Pursue “simple and pure devotion to Christ” (I Cor 11:3).Christ” (I Cor 11:3).

““Love the Lord your God with all Love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind and soul . . .” (Matt your heart, mind and soul . . .” (Matt 22:36).22:36).

Unhealthy AmbitionUnhealthy Ambition

Desire for Desire for positionposition

Desire for Desire for powerpower

Desire for Desire for possessionspossessions

Desire for Desire for prominenceprominence

Biblical AmbitionBiblical Ambition

Concentration toConcentration to pleaseplease Christ (II Cor 5:9)Christ (II Cor 5:9)

Determination to Determination to be content inbe content in Christ Christ(I Thess 4:11-12)(I Thess 4:11-12)

Intention to Intention to blaze new trails forblaze new trails for ChristChrist

God’s Purposes, Not OursGod’s Purposes, Not Ours

——If our heart’s real purpose is to be If our heart’s real purpose is to be happy, appreciated, and comfortable, happy, appreciated, and comfortable, every difficulty is a threat. Every hardship every difficulty is a threat. Every hardship and setback makes us disappointed, and setback makes us disappointed, surprised, confused, and angry.surprised, confused, and angry.

“ ‘“ ‘For my thoughts are not your For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,’ declares the Lord.ways,’ declares the Lord.‘‘As the heavens are higher than the earth,As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your waysso are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts’ ”and my thoughts than your thoughts’ ” (Is 55:8-9).(Is 55:8-9).

——Our first response to suffering is Our first response to suffering is usually, “How can I get out of this?” usually, “How can I get out of this?” That’s natural and normal, but perhaps That’s natural and normal, but perhaps our second response needs to be:our second response needs to be:

““Lord, what do you want to teach me Lord, what do you want to teach me about you and about myself? I’m about you and about myself? I’m listening, Lord.”listening, Lord.”

——When we encounter suffering, let’s When we encounter suffering, let’s turn from our victim, “I deserve turn from our victim, “I deserve better,” mentality, and acknowledge the better,” mentality, and acknowledge the goodness, greatness, and sovereign goodness, greatness, and sovereign control of our Master and Father.control of our Master and Father.

Our Enemy’s WeaponsOur Enemy’s Weapons

Two of his most potent weapons are the Two of his most potent weapons are the subtle espionagesubtle espionage of temptation, and the of temptation, and the heavy artilleryheavy artillery of unjust accusations. of unjust accusations.

Temptation’s LureTemptation’s Lure

The Lure of Temptation May Occur in The Lure of Temptation May Occur in Any Number of Areas:Any Number of Areas:

——power,power,

——prestige,prestige,

——popularity,popularity,

——possessions, orpossessions, or

——illicit sex.illicit sex.

A Beautiful Woman’s OfferA Beautiful Woman’s Offer

““Now Joseph was well-built and Now Joseph was well-built and handsome, and after a while his master’s handsome, and after a while his master’s wife took notice of Joseph and said, wife took notice of Joseph and said, ‘Come to bed with me!’ . . .‘Come to bed with me!’ . . .

““But he refused, ‘With me in charge,’ he But he refused, ‘With me in charge,’ he told her, ‘my master does not concern told her, ‘my master does not concern himself with anything in the house; himself with anything in the house; everything he owns he has entrusted to everything he owns he has entrusted to my care. No one is greater in this house my care. No one is greater in this house than I am. My master has withheld than I am. My master has withheld nothing from me except you, because you nothing from me except you, because you are his wife. . . .are his wife. . . .

““How then could I do such a wicked How then could I do such a wicked thing and sin against God?’ And thing and sin against God?’ And though she spoke to Joseph day after though she spoke to Joseph day after day, he refused to go to bed with her or day, he refused to go to bed with her or even be with her” (Gen 39:6-10).even be with her” (Gen 39:6-10).

When Temptation Lures, Remember. . .When Temptation Lures, Remember. . .

1. Temptation is inevitable.1. Temptation is inevitable.

2. There is one, and only one, 2. There is one, and only one, ultimate temptation.ultimate temptation.

3. No temptation comes without a 3. No temptation comes without a price tag.price tag.

We need to reflect on the clear promises We need to reflect on the clear promises of God’s Word:of God’s Word:

““Be sure that your sin will find you Be sure that your sin will find you out” (Numbers 32:23)out” (Numbers 32:23)

andand““A man reaps what he sows”A man reaps what he sows”(Galatians 6:7).(Galatians 6:7).

4. The battle with temptation is won or 4. The battle with temptation is won or lost in the mind.lost in the mind.

When the temptations come, “take When the temptations come, “take every thought captive to the obedience every thought captive to the obedience of Christ” (II Cor 10:5).of Christ” (II Cor 10:5).

5. Giving in to temptation anesthetizes 5. Giving in to temptation anesthetizes our consciences and convictions.our consciences and convictions.

Four Questions:Four Questions:

1. If I participate in this activity or 1. If I participate in this activity or attitude, how will it impact me attitude, how will it impact me personally?personally?

2. If I participate in this activity or 2. If I participate in this activity or attitude, how will it affect those I care attitude, how will it affect those I care about?about?

3. If I participate in this activity or 3. If I participate in this activity or attitude, how will it affect others who attitude, how will it affect others who watch my life?watch my life?

4. If I participate in this activity or 4. If I participate in this activity or attitude, how will it affect the cause of attitude, how will it affect the cause of Christ and the Christian community?Christ and the Christian community?

Some Suggestions:Some Suggestions:

1. Stay away from where you shouldn’t 1. Stay away from where you shouldn’t be.be.

2. Keep your eyes where they belong.2. Keep your eyes where they belong.

3. Focus your thoughts on what you want 3. Focus your thoughts on what you want to become.to become.

4. When you run headlong into sexual 4. When you run headlong into sexual temptation, run for your life.temptation, run for your life.

5. Find a special friend, and give that 5. Find a special friend, and give that person permission to ask you tough person permission to ask you tough questions about your actions and your questions about your actions and your attitudes.attitudes.

6. Remember, temptation often follows 6. Remember, temptation often follows great success.great success.

Accusation’s BlastAccusation’s Blast

Joseph’s PlightJoseph’s PlightHow could it happen that a virile How could it happen that a virile young man could choose to remain young man could choose to remain pure and resist a woman’s charms day pure and resist a woman’s charms day after day, and then find himself after day, and then find himself accused of rape?accused of rape? It just isn’t fair!It just isn’t fair!

Accusation’s BlastAccusation’s Blast

Joseph’s PlightJoseph’s PlightHow could it happen that a virile How could it happen that a virile young man could choose to remain young man could choose to remain pure and resist a woman’s charms day pure and resist a woman’s charms day after day, and then find himself after day, and then find himself accused of rape?accused of rape? It just isn’t fair!It just isn’t fair!

““Why?”Why?”

1. Unjust accusations can come from 1. Unjust accusations can come from an attempt to cover wrongdoing.an attempt to cover wrongdoing.

2. Sometimes false accusations rise 2. Sometimes false accusations rise from a desire to punish others for from a desire to punish others for refusing to go along.refusing to go along.

3. Some people give in to a temptation to 3. Some people give in to a temptation to make themselves look better than make themselves look better than others.others.

4. Some people merely have the 4. Some people merely have the determination to manipulate.determination to manipulate.

Joseph’s ExampleJoseph’s Example

1. He didn’t doubt God’s activity.1. He didn’t doubt God’s activity.

2. He didn’t react in anger.2. He didn’t react in anger.

3. He didn’t step in and take charge.3. He didn’t step in and take charge.

The Refiner’s PurposeThe Refiner’s Purpose

Don’t be surprised when you Don’t be surprised when you experience the fire of temptation and experience the fire of temptation and unjust accusation, and don’t forget that unjust accusation, and don’t forget that God will use even these to accomplish God will use even these to accomplish his purposes in your life.his purposes in your life.

Bellows Make It HotterBellows Make It Hotter

Pressure PointsPressure Points

1. Circumstances1. Circumstances

2. Others’ expectations2. Others’ expectations

3. Lack of confidence3. Lack of confidence

4. Guilt4. Guilt

5. Loneliness5. Loneliness

6. Pessimism6. Pessimism

Pressure on JosephPressure on Joseph

1. He felt 1. He felt abandonedabandoned..

2. He felt 2. He felt a sense of dooma sense of doom..

3. He felt 3. He felt forgottenforgotten..

Even Then . . .Even Then . . .

1. Joseph kept a proper 1. Joseph kept a proper perspectiveperspective..

When we are under pressure, we tend When we are under pressure, we tend to react according to our personalities:to react according to our personalities:

——Take-charge people try to control Take-charge people try to control things even more.things even more.

——People-pleasers panic and try to get People-pleasers panic and try to get somebody to bail them out.somebody to bail them out.

——Detail-oriented people try to figure Detail-oriented people try to figure out a rigid plan.out a rigid plan.

——Sensitive people wither under the Sensitive people wither under the pressure and try to hide.pressure and try to hide.

2. Joseph maintained a proper 2. Joseph maintained a proper prioritypriority..

““The warden put Joseph in charge of all The warden put Joseph in charge of all those held in the prison, and he was made those held in the prison, and he was made responsible for all that was done there. The responsible for all that was done there. The warden paid no attention to anything under warden paid no attention to anything under Joseph’s care, because the Lord was with Joseph’s care, because the Lord was with Joseph and gave him success in whatever he Joseph and gave him success in whatever he did” (Gen 39:22-23).did” (Gen 39:22-23).

3. Joseph experienced perfect3. Joseph experienced perfect peacepeace..

4. Joseph exhibited a positive 4. Joseph exhibited a positive attitudeattitude..

5. Joseph exuded a patient 5. Joseph exuded a patient demeanordemeanor..

Four Principles about PressureFour Principles about Pressure

1. God’s timing will always show our 1. God’s timing will always show our inadequacy in an impossible situation.inadequacy in an impossible situation.

2. God is adequate for every 2. God is adequate for every circumstance and situation.circumstance and situation.

3. God’s timing will always be such that 3. God’s timing will always be such that he will get the greatest glory.he will get the greatest glory.

4. What’s impossible to us isn’t 4. What’s impossible to us isn’t impossible to God.impossible to God.

““We are all faced with innumerable We are all faced with innumerable opportunities brilliantly disguised as opportunities brilliantly disguised as impossible situations.”impossible situations.”

——Chuck SwindollChuck Swindoll

When you and I are faced with When you and I are faced with pressures we can’t bear, we need to ask pressures we can’t bear, we need to ask two questions:two questions:

““What good thing is God doing in my What good thing is God doing in my life?”life?”

and “How does he want me to and “How does he want me to respond?”respond?”

The Cooling ProcessThe Cooling Process

Cooling Happens in Several Ways:Cooling Happens in Several Ways:

• • You’ve probably seen Westerns in You’ve probably seen Westerns in which the blacksmith plunges red hot which the blacksmith plunges red hot iron into a bucket of water, then takes it iron into a bucket of water, then takes it out to cool in the air. That’s one method.out to cool in the air. That’s one method.

• • In more sophisticated processes, the hot In more sophisticated processes, the hot metal is put into a constant temperature metal is put into a constant temperature bath to be sure it cools to the exact bath to be sure it cools to the exact temperature of the liquid.temperature of the liquid.

• • And in some cases, the bath itself has And in some cases, the bath itself has particular properties or chemicals, like particular properties or chemicals, like salt, which strengthen the metal.salt, which strengthen the metal.

Our Refiner sometimes takes us through Our Refiner sometimes takes us through a cooling process.a cooling process.

Waiting For . . .Waiting For . . .

——We wait for a call from God when we We wait for a call from God when we are wandering.are wandering.

——We wait for relief when we are We wait for relief when we are stressed.stressed.

——We wait for an answer when there We wait for an answer when there are too many options, or when there are too many options, or when there seem to be no options at all.seem to be no options at all.

——We wait for a word of We wait for a word of encouragement when we feel encouragement when we feel misunderstood or condemned.misunderstood or condemned.

——We wait for clarity when we are We wait for clarity when we are confused.confused.

What are some reasons it’s hard for us What are some reasons it’s hard for us to wait?to wait?

A Prison or a Classroom?A Prison or a Classroom?

Our response to cooling off periods of Our response to cooling off periods of our lives is determined by our our lives is determined by our interpretation of that time:interpretation of that time:

Do we see it as a prison we need to Do we see it as a prison we need to escape, or as a classroom where we learn escape, or as a classroom where we learn from God?from God?

Doubt or Certainty?Doubt or Certainty?

When God Puts Us on the Shelf . . .When God Puts Us on the Shelf . . .

King David wrote: King David wrote: ““I would have despaired unless I had believed I would have despaired unless I had believed I would see the goodness of the Lord in theI would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.land of the living.Wait for the Lord;Wait for the Lord; be strong, let your heart take courage.be strong, let your heart take courage. Yes, wait for the Lord” (Ps 27:13-14).Yes, wait for the Lord” (Ps 27:13-14).

The prophet Isaiah records this message The prophet Isaiah records this message of reproof and encouragement:of reproof and encouragement:

““Why do you say, O Jacob,Why do you say, O Jacob, and complain, O Israel,and complain, O Israel, ‘ ‘My way is hidden from the Lord;My way is hidden from the Lord; my cause is disregarded by my God’? . . .my cause is disregarded by my God’? . . .

““Do you not know?Do you not know? Have you not heard?Have you not heard?The Lord is the everlasting God,The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth.the Creator of the ends of the earth.He will not grow tired or weary,He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one canand his understanding no one can fathom. . . .fathom. . . .

““He gives strength to the wearyHe gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.and increases the power of the weak.Even youths grow tired and weary,Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; . . .and young men stumble and fall; . . .

““but those who hope in the Lordbut those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.will renew their strength.They will soar on wings like eagles;They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary,they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint”they will walk and not be faint” (Is 40:27-31).(Is 40:27-31).

In this passage, Isaiah reminds them of In this passage, Isaiah reminds them of God’s character:God’s character:

• • He is He is eternaleternal: He is not bound by : He is not bound by time.time.• • He is He is almightyalmighty: He is able to : He is able to accomplish absolutely anything he accomplish absolutely anything he wishes.wishes.

• • He is the He is the CreatorCreator: No situation is too : No situation is too hopeless for him. He can make something hopeless for him. He can make something out of nothing.out of nothing.

• • He is He is wisewise: He knows exactly what he : He knows exactly what he wants to accomplish, even if that’s not wants to accomplish, even if that’s not what we want him to accomplish.what we want him to accomplish.

Waiting is a Form of PruningWaiting is a Form of PruningJesus Said to His Disciples:Jesus Said to His Disciples:““I am the true vine, and my Father is the I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch in me gardener. He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful” (John 15:1-2).will be even more fruitful” (John 15:1-2).

Joseph’s Classroom Joseph’s Classroom WasWas a a PrisonPrison

Five Principles for Life’s Five Principles for Life’s Waiting PeriodsWaiting Periods1. Wait alertly.1. Wait alertly.

““Blessed is the man who listens to me,Blessed is the man who listens to me, watching daily at my doors,watching daily at my doors, waiting at my doorway” (Prov 8:34).waiting at my doorway” (Prov 8:34).

It is wise to ask yourself two questions It is wise to ask yourself two questions during these times:during these times:

• • Is God trying to teach me something Is God trying to teach me something during this time of waiting?during this time of waiting?

• • Is God trying to change something Is God trying to change something specific in my life during this time of specific in my life during this time of waiting?waiting?

2. Wait expectantly.2. Wait expectantly.

““I wait for the Lord, my soul waits,I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in his word I put my hope.and in his word I put my hope.My soul waits for the LordMy soul waits for the Lord more than the watchmen wait for themore than the watchmen wait for the morning” (Ps 130:5-6).morning” (Ps 130:5-6).

3. Wait quietly and patiently.3. Wait quietly and patiently.

Jeremiah instructed us:Jeremiah instructed us:““The Lord is good to those whose hopeThe Lord is good to those whose hope is in him,is in him, to the one who seeks him;to the one who seeks him;it is good to wait quietlyit is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord”for the salvation of the Lord” (Lam 3:25-26).(Lam 3:25-26).

The psalmist wrote:The psalmist wrote:

““. . . be still before the Lord and wait . . . be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him” (Ps 37:7).patiently for him” (Ps 37:7).

4. Wait realistically.4. Wait realistically.

5. Wait cautiously.5. Wait cautiously.

Looking for Plan BLooking for Plan B

When We Are Dissatisfied With God’s When We Are Dissatisfied With God’s Plan, We Often Make Mistakes:Plan, We Often Make Mistakes:

1. We tend to look to God as a last resort 1. We tend to look to God as a last resort rather than a first source.rather than a first source.

2. We desire deliverance by our own 2. We desire deliverance by our own timetable and method rather than his.timetable and method rather than his.

3. We prefer not having an answer if 3. We prefer not having an answer if God’s answer doesn’t agree with ours.God’s answer doesn’t agree with ours.

Stick with Plan AStick with Plan A

Haunted by BitternessHaunted by Bitterness

ManassehManasseh

““It is because God has made me It is because God has made me forget all my trouble and all my forget all my trouble and all my father’s household” (Gen 41:51).father’s household” (Gen 41:51).

The reason Joseph could forget was that The reason Joseph could forget was that he had forgiven.he had forgiven.

Reasons We Hang Onto BitternessReasons We Hang Onto Bitterness

——It gives us identity.It gives us identity.

——It gives us energy.It gives us energy.

““Of the Seven Deadly Sins, anger is possibly the Of the Seven Deadly Sins, anger is possibly the most fun. To lick your wounds, to smack your lips most fun. To lick your wounds, to smack your lips over grievances long past, to roll over your tongue over grievances long past, to roll over your tongue the prospect of bitter confrontations still to come, the prospect of bitter confrontations still to come, to savor to the last toothsome morsel both the pain to savor to the last toothsome morsel both the pain you are given and the pain you are giving back—in you are given and the pain you are giving back—in many ways it is a feast fit for a king. The chief many ways it is a feast fit for a king. The chief drawback is that what you are wolfing down is drawback is that what you are wolfing down is yourself. The skeleton at the feast is you.” —yourself. The skeleton at the feast is you.” —Frederick BuechnerFrederick Buechner

False ForgivenessFalse Forgiveness

1. We1. We toleratetolerate instead of forgive. instead of forgive.

2. We 2. We ignoreignore the problem and the pain. the problem and the pain.

3. We 3. We say forgiving wordssay forgiving words without a without a forgiving heart.forgiving heart.

In all three of these cases, we probably In all three of these cases, we probably think we have forgiven, so when we are think we have forgiven, so when we are still haunted by the pain, we feel still haunted by the pain, we feel confused and guilty. The pain actually confused and guilty. The pain actually increases as it festers, and our anger, increases as it festers, and our anger, bitterness, and resentment build.bitterness, and resentment build.

The Real ThingThe Real Thing

——Release from a debt: Matthew 18Release from a debt: Matthew 18

Lessons from this parable:Lessons from this parable:

1. My sins and your sins against God 1. My sins and your sins against God created an enormous debt which we created an enormous debt which we could not possibly repay. But God, our could not possibly repay. But God, our King, has graciously forgiven us.King, has graciously forgiven us.

2. When others sin against us, they 2. When others sin against us, they create a debt.create a debt.

3. We choose to forgive others because 3. We choose to forgive others because we are so grateful for the forgiveness we are so grateful for the forgiveness God has given us.God has given us.

4. If we choose to take revenge and 4. If we choose to take revenge and refuse to forgive, our King will be refuse to forgive, our King will be displeased, and we will be tortured by displeased, and we will be tortured by our own hatred and bitterness.our own hatred and bitterness.

——Not taking revenge: Romans 12Not taking revenge: Romans 12

““Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. If it is possible, as far as it everybody. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my friends, everyone. Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: ‘It is mine to avenge; I will repay,’ written: ‘It is mine to avenge; I will repay,’ says the Lord. On the contrary, . . .says the Lord. On the contrary, . . .

““If your enemy is hungry, feed him;If your enemy is hungry, feed him;if he is thirsty, give him something to if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head. Do not be burning coals on his head. Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good” (Rom 12:17-21).good” (Rom 12:17-21).

Lessons from this passage:Lessons from this passage:

1. Forgiveness is a choice, not 1. Forgiveness is a choice, not necessarily a pleasant feeling.necessarily a pleasant feeling.

2. Forgiveness is not the same as 2. Forgiveness is not the same as reconciliation.reconciliation.

3. Forgiveness includes acts of kindness, 3. Forgiveness includes acts of kindness, but it doesn’t mean we foolishly open but it doesn’t mean we foolishly open ourselves to more abuse.ourselves to more abuse.

4. We can be certain that justice will still 4. We can be certain that justice will still be served, but we put that in God’s be served, but we put that in God’s hands, not our own.hands, not our own.

——Maybe some of the blame . . .Maybe some of the blame . . .

““Significant movement toward Significant movement toward forgetting begins as we bring an end to forgetting begins as we bring an end to blaming and move toward the blaming and move toward the recognition of our joint participation, to recognition of our joint participation, to whatever degree, in the painful whatever degree, in the painful situation.” —David Augsburgersituation.” —David Augsburger

Loving Enough to ConfrontLoving Enough to Confront

Five Options:Five Options:

1. “I’ll get him.”1. “I’ll get him.”

2. “I’ll get out.”2. “I’ll get out.”

3. “I’ll give in.”3. “I’ll give in.”

4. “I’ll meet you halfway.”4. “I’ll meet you halfway.”

5. “I care enough to confront.”5. “I care enough to confront.”

Paul’s DirectivePaul’s Directive

““Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted. Carry each also may be tempted. Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ” (Gal 6:1-2).will fulfill the law of Christ” (Gal 6:1-2).

Principles of Effective ConfrontationPrinciples of Effective Confrontation

1. Overlook minor issues.1. Overlook minor issues.

2. When sinful actions or attitudes are 2. When sinful actions or attitudes are too serious to overlook, confront.too serious to overlook, confront.

3. Communicate how much you care 3. Communicate how much you care about the other person.about the other person.

4. Gently seek to facilitate repentance 4. Gently seek to facilitate repentance and restoration.and restoration.

5. Choose an appropriate time and 5. Choose an appropriate time and place.place.

6. Raise issues, not voices.6. Raise issues, not voices.

7. Give specific examples of the wrong 7. Give specific examples of the wrong that is being addressed. that is being addressed.

8. Strive to give the benefit of the doubt.8. Strive to give the benefit of the doubt.

9. Avoid leading questions.9. Avoid leading questions.

10. Above all, pray.10. Above all, pray.

Tests of RepentanceTests of Repentance

Joseph’s tests focused on the issues in Joseph’s tests focused on the issues in which they had failed so miserably: which they had failed so miserably: loyalty to their brothers. The tests loyalty to their brothers. The tests included:included:

——Joseph asked them pointed questions Joseph asked them pointed questions about their family.about their family.

——He ordered all but one to return to He ordered all but one to return to their father and bring the youngest their father and bring the youngest brother, Benjamin, back to Egypt.brother, Benjamin, back to Egypt.

——For their trip back to Canaan, Joseph For their trip back to Canaan, Joseph hid the silver they had paid for the hid the silver they had paid for the grain in their bags of grain.grain in their bags of grain.

——At a feast with his brothers, Joseph At a feast with his brothers, Joseph arranged them in order according to arranged them in order according to their ages and gave Benjamin five times their ages and gave Benjamin five times more food than any of the others.more food than any of the others.

——On their way back to Canaan the On their way back to Canaan the next day, Joseph told his servant to hide next day, Joseph told his servant to hide a silver cup in Benjamin’s sack of a silver cup in Benjamin’s sack of grain.grain.

Hot Fire, Hard HammersHot Fire, Hard Hammers

In the awful pain of strained and In the awful pain of strained and broken relationships, it is easy to lose broken relationships, it is easy to lose sight of the sovereignty and goodness sight of the sovereignty and goodness of God. But even here, God reigns.of God. But even here, God reigns.

The Cult of ComfortThe Cult of Comfortand Successand Success

But God Often Has a Different Agenda But God Often Has a Different Agenda for Those He Lovesfor Those He Loves

The process of refining is the norm, The process of refining is the norm, not the exception.not the exception.

Peter wrote:Peter wrote:

““Dear friends, do not be surprised at the Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to something strange were happening to you. But rejoice that you participate in you. But rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed” be overjoyed when his glory is revealed” (I Peter 4:12-13).(I Peter 4:12-13).

And we are all very familiar with James’ And we are all very familiar with James’ insight:insight:““Consider it pure joy, my brothers, Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking mature and complete, not lacking anything” (James 1:2-4).anything” (James 1:2-4).

The true measure of a person is this: The true measure of a person is this: What does it take to make him quit?What does it take to make him quit?

Joseph Finished WellJoseph Finished Well

““By faith Joseph, when his end was By faith Joseph, when his end was near, spoke about the exodus of the near, spoke about the exodus of the Israelites from Egypt and gave Israelites from Egypt and gave instructions about his bones”instructions about his bones”(Heb 11:22).(Heb 11:22).

Instructions to Help Us Instructions to Help Us Finish WellFinish Well““Therefore, since we are surrounded by Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out with perseverance the race marked out for us. . . .for us. . . .

““Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God”at the right hand of the throne of God”(Heb 12:1-2).(Heb 12:1-2).

1. Get 1. Get encouragementencouragement from the right from the right crowd.crowd.

2. Realize we’re 2. Realize we’re not alonenot alone in the in the process.process.

3. Get rid of 3. Get rid of the weightthe weight..

• • How much joy do you have?How much joy do you have?

• • How much do you complain about How much do you complain about not having enough time, having to fix not having enough time, having to fix things, difficult people, not having things, difficult people, not having enough money, etc.?enough money, etc.?

4. 4. Set asideSet aside your sin. your sin.

5. Run 5. Run the racethe race..

6. Concentrate on the 6. Concentrate on the PacesetterPacesetter and the and the finish linefinish line..

Some Rules of Track Are:Some Rules of Track Are:

——When you run, don’t look at your When you run, don’t look at your feet, or you’ll trip and fall.feet, or you’ll trip and fall.

——Don’t look at the crowd, or you’ll lose Don’t look at the crowd, or you’ll lose perspective of where you are.perspective of where you are.

——Don’t watch your competition, Don’t watch your competition, because it will distract you from your because it will distract you from your race.race.

——As you run, keep your eye on the finish As you run, keep your eye on the finish line, and don’t ever let it waver.line, and don’t ever let it waver.

The Refined HeartThe Refined HeartMuch of God’s Intentional Work of Much of God’s Intentional Work of Refining Us Is Designed to Change Our Refining Us Is Designed to Change Our HeartsHearts

Paul wrote the believers in Corinth:Paul wrote the believers in Corinth:

““But I am afraid that just as Eve was But I am afraid that just as Eve was deceived by the serpent’s cunning, your deceived by the serpent’s cunning, your minds may somehow be led astray from minds may somehow be led astray from your sincere and pure devotion to your sincere and pure devotion to Christ” (II Cor 11:3).Christ” (II Cor 11:3).

And Jesus said:And Jesus said:

““If anyone would come after me, he If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me” (Matt 16:24).cross and follow me” (Matt 16:24).

Dietrich Bonhoeffer wrote:Dietrich Bonhoeffer wrote:

““When Christ calls a man, he bids him When Christ calls a man, he bids him come and die.”come and die.”

And Jesus told his disciples:And Jesus told his disciples:

““Whoever finds his life will lose it, and Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will whoever loses his life for my sake will find it” (Matt 10:39).find it” (Matt 10:39).

2. What are some encouraging messages 2. What are some encouraging messages you have been listening to? Where have you have been listening to? Where have these come from?these come from?

What are some discouraging messages What are some discouraging messages you’ve heard lately? What are the you’ve heard lately? What are the sources of these?sources of these?

3. Why is it vital to trust God’s presence 3. Why is it vital to trust God’s presence even when you can’t sense he is there?even when you can’t sense he is there?

4. What are some hindrances in your 4. What are some hindrances in your life as you run the race?life as you run the race?

5. Take a few minutes right now and 5. Take a few minutes right now and invite God to show you any sins that invite God to show you any sins that entangle you at this point in your race, entangle you at this point in your race, then enjoy his cleansing and forgiveness.then enjoy his cleansing and forgiveness.

6. When have you been tempted to quit 6. When have you been tempted to quit the race? How did you keep going?the race? How did you keep going?

7. Explain how II Corinthians 11:3 and 7. Explain how II Corinthians 11:3 and the other passages at the end of this the other passages at the end of this session relate to refining.session relate to refining.

8. What has been the most enlightening 8. What has been the most enlightening or encouraging thing you’ve gained or encouraging thing you’ve gained from this seminar?from this seminar?

9. What specific things will you do to 9. What specific things will you do to internalize these principles and make internalize these principles and make them more a part of your experience?them more a part of your experience?

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