X3 family session 4

X3 Rock Your FamilySession 4: Iʼm the Parent... ...dealing with teenagers

Ten Commandments of Rock Your Family

Ten Commandments of Rock Your Family• Commandment #1: I am the parent and you are not

Ten Commandments of Rock Your Family• Commandment #1: I am the parent and you are not

• What does it look like to train/instruct and build a relationship with your teenagers?

• At 13, teens become addicted to freedom

I Am The Parent

• At 13, teens become addicted to freedom

I Am The Parent

• They are becoming adults

• At 13, teens become addicted to freedom

I Am The Parent

• They are becoming adults

• We should expect them to pull away

• At 13, teens become addicted to freedom

I Am The Parent

• They are becoming adults

• We should expect them to pull away

• They have to

• Sometimes the harder we push our values on them, they harder they push against it

I Am The Parent

• Sometimes the harder we push our values on them, they harder they push against it

I Am The Parent

• Allow them freedom to choose their values

• Sometimes the harder we push our values on them, they harder they push against it

I Am The Parent

• Allow them freedom to choose their values

• This creates tension

• Sometimes the harder we push our values on them, they harder they push against it

I Am The Parent

• Allow them freedom to choose their values

• This creates tension

• Engage with them

I Am The Parent

• This is the age when you start asking tons of questions

I Am The Parent

• This is the age when you start asking tons of questions • With teenagers, “Rules without relationship equals rebellion”

I Am The Parent

• This is the age when you start asking tons of questions • With teenagers, “Rules without relationship equals rebellion”• You enter their world

I Am The Parent

• This is the age when you start asking tons of questions • With teenagers, “Rules without relationship equals rebellion”• You enter their world• To engage with them means to pursue them

I Am The Parent

• If youʼre a dad with a daughter, date your daughters

I Am The Parent

• If youʼre a dad with a daughter, date your daughters

• A way to cultivate a relationship with your teen is to listen

I Am The Parent

• Get them to talk

I Am The Parent

• Get them to talk

• Donʼt judge their answers

I Am The Parent

• Get them to talk

• Donʼt judge their answers

• Donʼt critique or complain

I Am The Parent

• Get them to talk

• Donʼt judge their answers

• Donʼt critique or complain

• The key is to build the relationship

Homework

• Go to your teen and apologize

Homework

• Go to your teen and apologize

• Write down three ways you can engage with your teen

Homework