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When Forgiveness Seems
Impossible
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So what does it mean to forgive?
Forgetting?
No more anger?
No more pain?
Letting someone off
the hook?Unfairness?
Injustice?
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DEFINITION
FORGIVENESS is the loving,
voluntary cancellation of a debt.
FORGIVENESS is both a gift and
a process.
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Luke 7:36-47
And one of the Pharisees desired him to eat with him.
And he went into the house of the Pharisee and sat
down to meat. And behold a woman that was in the
city, a sinner, when she knew that he sat at meat inthe Pharisee's house, brought an alabaster box of
ointment. And standing behind at his feet she began
to wash his feet with tears and wiped them with the
hairs of her head and kissed his feet and anointed
them with the ointment. And the Pharisee, who hadinvited him, seeing it, spoke within himself, saying:
This man, if he were if a prophet, would know surely
who and what manner of woman this is that touches
him, that she is a sinner.
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Luke 7:36-47
And Jesus answering, said to him: Simon, I have somewhat to
say to you. But he said: Master, say it. A certain creditor had two
debtors: the one owed five hundred pence and the other fifty. And
whereas they had not wherewith to pay, he forgave them both.
Which therefore of the two loves him most? Simon answering,said: I suppose that he to whom he forgave most. And he said to
him: You have judged rightly. And turning to the woman, he said
unto Simon: Do you see this woman? I entered into your house:
you gave me no water for my feet. But she with tears has washed
my feet; and with her hairs has wiped them. You gave me no
kiss. But she, since she came in, has not ceased to kiss my feet.My head with oil you did not anoint. But she with ointment has
anointed my feet. Wherefore, I say to you: Many sins are forgiven
her, because she has loved much. But to whom less is forgiven,
he loves less.
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Luke 7:36-47
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FORGIVE
NE
SS ---The Pattern
Luke 7:36-47
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Luke 17:3-4
Take heed to yourselves. If your brother
sins against you, rebuke him: and if he
do repents, forgive him. And if he sins
against you seven times in a day, and
seven times in a day returns to you,
saying: I repent! You shall forgive him.
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FORGIVE
NE
SS ---The Pattern
The Offense
The Confrontation
The Repentance
The ForgivenessThe Restoration
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ONE
: The Offense
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M
atthew 22:37-40 Jesus said: You shall love the Lord your God
with your whole heart and with your whole
soul and with your whole mind. This is thegreatest and the first commandment. And the
second is like to this: You shall love your
neighbor as yourself. On these twocommandments depends the whole law and
the prophets.
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Romans 13:8
Owe no man anything, but to love one
another. For he that loves his neighbor
has fulfilled the law.
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SIN = any failure to LOVE
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TWO: The Confrontation To REBUKE is to "to
honor," or "to give due
weight or value." Tohold people
accountable for their
actions is a way of
honoring them.
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THREE
: The Repentance To REPENT means to
change ones mind
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2 Samuel 12:13-23
And David said to Nathan: I have sinnedagainst the Lord. And Nathan said to David:
The Lord also has taken away your sin: you
shall not die. Nevertheless, because you have
given occasion to the enemies of the Lord toblaspheme, for this thing, the child that is born
to you, shall surely die. And Nathan returned
to his house. The Lord also struck the child
which the wife of Urias had borne to David,and his life was despaired of. And David
besought the Lord for the child: and David
kept a fast, and going in by himself lay upon
the ground.
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And the ancients of his house came, to make
him rise from the ground: but he would not,
neither did he eat meat with them. And it cameto pass on the seventh day that the child died:
and the servants of David feared to tell him,
that the child was dead. For they said: Behold
when the child was yet alive, we spoke to him,and he would not hearken to our voice: how
much more will he afflict himself if we tell him
that the child is dead? But when David saw his
servants whispering, he understood that thechild was dead: and he said to his servants: Is
the child dead? They answered him He is
dead.
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Then David arose from the ground, and washed and
anointed himself: and when he had changed his
apparel, he went into the house of the Lord: and
worshipped, and then he came into his own house,
and he called for bread, and ate. And his servants said
to him: What thing is this that you have done? You
fasted and wept for the child, while it was alive, but
when the child was dead, you rose up, and atebread. And he said: While the child was yet alive, I
fasted and wept for him: for I said: Who knows
whether the Lord may not give him to me, and the
child may live? But now that he is dead, why should I
fast? Shall I be able to bring him back any more? I
shall go to him rather: but he shall not return to me.
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FOUR: The Forgiveness
Forgiveness is the loving, voluntary
cancellation of a debt
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Galatians 6:7-8
Be not deceived: Godis not mocked. For what
things a man shall sow, those also shall he
reap. For he that sows in his flesh of the flesh
also shall reap corruption. But he that sows in
the spirit of the spirit shall reap life
everlasting.
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FIVE: The Restoration
Restoration in our human relationships gives
us a finite taste of the joy God experiences
when we in repentance come to Him admitting
our sin.
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Nehemiah 9:17
And they would not hear, and they
remembered not your wonders which you had
done for them. And they hardened their
necks, and in their rebellion they appointed a
leader to return to their bondage. But you, a
forgiving God, gracious, and merciful,
longsuffering, and full of compassion, did not
forsake them.
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Romans 5:8-11
ButGodcommends his charitytowards us: becausewhen as yet we were sinners according to the time, Christ
died for us. Much more therefore, being now justified by
his blood, shall we be saved from wrath through him. For
if, when we were enemies, we were reconciled to God by
the death of his Son: much more, being reconciled, shallwe be saved by his life. And not only so: but also we
gloryin God, through ourLord Jesus Christ, by whom we
have now received reconciliation.
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Colossians 2:12-19
Buried with him in baptism: in whom also you are risenagain by the faith of the operation of God who has raised
him up from the dead. And you, when you were dead in
your sins and the uncircumcision of your flesh, he has
quickened together with him, forgiving you all offences:
Blotting out the handwriting of the decree that wasagainst us, which was contrary to us. And he has taken
the same out of the way, fastening it to the cross. And
despoiling the principalities and powers, he has exposed
them confidently in open show, triumphing over them inhimself.
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Colossians 2:12-19
Let no man therefore judge you in food or in drink or inrespect of a festival day or of the new moon or of the
sabbaths, which are a shadow of things to come: but the
body is of Christ. Let no man seduce you, willing in
humility and religion of angels, walking in the things
which he has not seen, in vain puffed up by the sense ofhis flesh: And not holding the head, from which the whole
body, by joints and bands, being supplied with
nourishment and compacted, grows into the increase of
God.
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The COST of FORGIVENESS
1 Peter 3:18
Because Christalso died once for oursins, the
just for the unjust: that he might offer us to God,
being put to death indeed in the flesh, but
enlivened in the spirit,
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The COST of FORGIVENESS
Romans 12:17-21 To no man rendering evil for evil. Providing good things,
not only in the sight of God but also in the sight of all
men. If it be possible, as much as is in you, have peace
with all men. Revenge not yourselves, my dearly beloved;but give place unto wrath, for it is written: Revenge is
mine, I will repay, says the Lord. But if the enemy be
hungry, give him to eat; if he thirst, give him to drink. For,
doing this, you shall heap coals of fire upon his head. Be
not overcome by evil: but overcome evil by good.
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When facing forgiveness, think of it as
the process of a lifetimeMatthew 18:21-22
Then came Peter unto him and said: Lord, how
often shall my brother offend against me, and I
forgive him? Till seven times? Jesus said to him:
I say not to you, till seven times; but till seventy
times seven times.
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When you are the offender, be careful
not to demand forgiveness.
Psalm 51:19
A sacrifice to God is an afflicted spirit: a contriteand humbled heart, O God, you will not despise.
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In anticipation of future hurts, begin
developing a heart of forgiveness.
There are at least four qualities of character
that can help us to develop a forgiving spirit
toward those who harm us.
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1. A passion for more than what the
here-and-now can provide.Matthew 5:6
"Blessed are those who hunger and thirst after
righteousness, for they will be filled"
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Matthew 5:39-42
But I say to you not to resist evil: but if one
strike you on your right cheek, turn to him
also the other: And if a man will contend with
you in judgment, and take away your coat, let
go your cloak also unto him. And whosoever
will force you one mile, go with him other two.
42 Give to him that asks of you, and from him
that would borrow of you turn not away.
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Luke 6:32-36
And if you love them that love you, what
thanks are to you? For sinners also love
those that love them. And if you do good tothem who do good to you, what thanks are to
you? For sinners also do this. And if you lend
to them of whom you hope to receive, whatthanks are to you? For sinners also lend to
sinners, for to receive as much.
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Luke 6:32-36
.But love your enemies: do good, and lend,
hoping for nothing thereby: and your reward
shall be great, and you shall be the sons ofthe Highest. For he is kind to the unthankful
and to the evil. Be therefore merciful, as your
Father also is merciful.
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2. A brokenness through sorrow and
grief.2 Corinthians 7:10
For the sorrow that is according to God works
penance, steadfast unto salvation: but the sorrow
of the world works death.
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3. A refusal to seekrevenge.
Revenge is natural. Undeserved kindness is
not. Those who live apart from grace live in
various stages of bitterness, guilt, rage, fear,
separation, and loneliness. The poison of an
unforgiving heart is not merely offered to the
enemy but is swallowed first by the one who
is holding the bottle.
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Romans 12:19
Revenge not yourselves, my dearly beloved;
but give place unto wrath, for it is written:
Revenge is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.
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4. A courageous desire to love others
as God has loved us.There is no greater reason to love and forgive
others than the realization of how kind and
merciful God has been to us.
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Luke 7:40-48
And Jesus answering, said to him: Simon, I have somewhat to
say to you. But he said: Master, say it. A certain creditor had two
debtors: the one owed five hundred pence and the other fifty. And
whereas they had not wherewith to pay, he forgave them both.
Which therefore of the two loves him most? Simon answering,
said: I suppose that he to whom he forgave most. And he said to
him: You have judged rightly. And turning to the woman, he said
unto Simon: Do you see this woman? I entered into your house:
you gave me no water for my feet. But she with tears has washed
my feet; and with her hairs has wiped them. You gave me no
kiss. But she, since she came in, has not ceased to kiss my feet.My head with oil you did not anoint. But she with ointment has
anointed my feet. Wherefore, I say to you: Many sins are forgiven
her, because she has loved much. But to whom less is forgiven,
he loves less.And he said to her: Your sins are forgiven you.
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Matthew 18:23-35
Therefore is the kingdom of heaven likened to a king, who would
take an account of his servants. And when he had begun to take
the account, one was brought to him, that owed him ten thousand
talents. And as he had not wherewith to pay it, his lord commanded
that he should be sold, and his wife and children, and all that he
had, and payment to be made. But that servant falling down,
besought him, saying: Have patience with me, and I will pay you all.
And the lord of that servant being moved with pity, let him go and
forgave him the debt. But when that servant had gone out, he foundone of his fellow-servants that owed him an hundred pence: and
laying hold of him, he throttled him, saying:
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Matthew 18:23-35
Pay what you owe. And his fellow-servant falling down, besought
him, saying: Have patience with me, and I will pay you all. And he
would not: but went and cast him into prison, till he paid the debt.
Now his fellow servants seeing what was done, were very much
grieved, and they came, and told their lord all that was done. Thenhis lord called him: and said to him: You wicked servant, I forgave
you all the debt, because you besought me: Should you not then
have had compassion also on your fellow servant, even as I had
compassion on you? And his lord being angry, delivered him to the
torturers until he paid all the debt. So also shall my heavenly Father
do to you, if you forgive not every one his brother from your hearts.
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2 Corinthians 5:18-19
But all things are of God, who has reconciled
us to himself by Christ and has given to us
the ministry of reconciliation. For God indeed
was in Christ, reconciling the world to himself,
not imputing to them their sins. And he has
placed in us the word of reconciliation.
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MISCONCEPTIONS ABOUT
FORGIVENESS1. Minimizing The Offense.
2. Forgiving And Forgetting.
Psalm 79:8
Oh, do not remember former iniquities against us!Let
Your tender mercies come speedily to meet us, for we
have been brought very low.
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MISCONCEPTIONS ABOUT
FORGIVENESS3. Forgiving For Your Own Sake.
1 John 1:9
If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to
forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all
unrighteousness
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A CASESTUDY OF FORGIVENESS
(Genesis 37-50)
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A PARABLEOF FORGIVENESS
Luke 15:11-31
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A Repentant Heart. The prodigal son demonstrated a repentant heart that was
broken when he came to his senses and decided to returnhome to his father. Repentance is a brokenness and
change of life-direction marked by:
Hunger for restoration. He longed for something more
than what he had available to him in his sin. He longed togo home (v.16).
Humble confession. He willingly acknowledged his
selfish violation of love first toward God and then toward
others (vv.18-19). Plea for mercy. He recognized that he deserved
nothing and pleaded for mercy, to serve as a slave,
without a demand for restoration to his previous position
in the family (v.21).
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A Forgiving Heart.
It is the father in the story who represents the unexpected
forgiving heart of God in response to genuine repentance
that is marked by: Hopeful anticipation. The father never gave up hoping for his
son's repentance and return home to be restored to him again. He
was persevering in prayer and intently looking for the day he saw the
familiar form of his son on the horizon (v.20). The hopeful yearning
for restoration was never quenched in the heart of the father.
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A Forgiving Heart.
Courageous love. The father was willing to humble himself and
not conform to the cultural mandate of his day to make his son
grovel in the dirt. Instead, in a spontaneous, jubilant act of love, he
ran to embrace his son (v.20). Gracious mercy. Forgiveness was joyfully granted because he
sensed the repentance in the heart of his son, and he restored him to
a position of sonship that was unheard of (v.22).
Celebration of repentance. The father planned a party to celebrate
the return of his son. His son was heading in a direction that broughtseparation and death to their relationship, but now he was alive and
reconciled to his father (vv. 23-24).
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An Unforgiving Heart.
The older son (representative of the Pharisees who were
listening to the parable) is a study in the stubborn refusal to
forgive that is characterized by: Hardness. There was an unwillingness on his part to consider
restoration of his younger foolish brother. He felt justifiably cold
toward his brother. And he was outraged that his father would still
want a relationship with a son who had so deeply offended him (v.28).
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An Unforgiving Heart.
Demanding of revenge. His focus was only on
immediately punishing his brother for what he
had done rather than focusing on what hadchanged in his heart. He wanted to make his
brother pay for what he had done. He had no
mercy and no desire for reconciliation (v.28).
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An Unforgiving Heart. Arrogant refusal to celebrate. The older son
withheld relationship from both his brother and his
father (v.28). He missed an opportunity for joy and
celebration because he was preoccupied with himself.
He missed the loving heart of the father that longs forrestoration. Instead, he angrily withdrew in self-
justified indignation and smugness over being right,
and he refused to recognize that what he was doing
was causing just as much pain and separation betweenhimself and his father as was caused by his younger
brother.
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The refusal to forgive indicates a rebellious,
stubborn heart that has not drunk deeply of
the water of grace and mercy at the well of
God's forgiveness Luke. 7:47
Wherefore, I say to you: Many sins are forgiven
her, because she has loved much. But to whom
less is forgiven, he loves less.
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2 Peter 1:5-7
And you, employing all care, minister in your
faith, virtue: And in virtue, knowledge: And in
knowledge, abstinence: and in abstinence,
patience: and in patience, godliness: 7 And in
godliness, love of brotherhood: and in love of
brotherhood, charity.
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2 Peter 1:8-9
"For if these things are yours and abound,
you will be neither barren nor unfruitful in the
knowledge of ourLord Jesus Christ. For he
who lacks these things is shortsighted, even
to blindness, and has forgotten that he was
cleansed from his old sins"
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THEPARADOX OF FORGIVINGLOVE
Romans 12:9
"Let love be without hypocrisy. Abhor what is
evil. Cling to what is good
1 John 4:17
For then, and only then, is love "made complete
among us so that we will have confidence on theday of judgment, because in this world we are
like Him"
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