when forgiveness

8/7/2019 when forgiveness

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When Forgiveness Seems

Impossible


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So what does it mean to forgive?

Forgetting?

No more anger?

No more pain?

Letting someone off

the hook?Unfairness?

Injustice?


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DEFINITION

FORGIVENESS is the loving,

voluntary cancellation of a debt.

FORGIVENESS is both a gift and

a process.


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Luke 7:36-47

And one of the Pharisees desired him to eat with him.

And he went into the house of the Pharisee and sat

down to meat. And behold a woman that was in the

city, a sinner, when she knew that he sat at meat inthe Pharisee's house, brought an alabaster box of

ointment. And standing behind at his feet she began

to wash his feet with tears and wiped them with the

hairs of her head and kissed his feet and anointed

them with the ointment. And the Pharisee, who hadinvited him, seeing it, spoke within himself, saying:

This man, if he were if a prophet, would know surely

who and what manner of woman this is that touches

him, that she is a sinner.


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Luke 7:36-47

And Jesus answering, said to him: Simon, I have somewhat to

say to you. But he said: Master, say it. A certain creditor had two

debtors: the one owed five hundred pence and the other fifty. And

whereas they had not wherewith to pay, he forgave them both.

Which therefore of the two loves him most? Simon answering,said: I suppose that he to whom he forgave most. And he said to

him: You have judged rightly. And turning to the woman, he said

unto Simon: Do you see this woman? I entered into your house:

you gave me no water for my feet. But she with tears has washed

my feet; and with her hairs has wiped them. You gave me no

kiss. But she, since she came in, has not ceased to kiss my feet.My head with oil you did not anoint. But she with ointment has

anointed my feet. Wherefore, I say to you: Many sins are forgiven

her, because she has loved much. But to whom less is forgiven,

he loves less.


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Luke 7:36-47


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FORGIVE

NE

SS ---The Pattern

Luke 7:36-47


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Luke 17:3-4

Take heed to yourselves. If your brother

sins against you, rebuke him: and if he

do repents, forgive him. And if he sins

against you seven times in a day, and

seven times in a day returns to you,

saying: I repent! You shall forgive him.


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FORGIVE

NE

SS ---The Pattern

The Offense

The Confrontation

The Repentance

The ForgivenessThe Restoration


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ONE

: The Offense


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M

atthew 22:37-40 Jesus said: You shall love the Lord your God

with your whole heart and with your whole

soul and with your whole mind. This is thegreatest and the first commandment. And the

second is like to this: You shall love your

neighbor as yourself. On these twocommandments depends the whole law and

the prophets.


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Romans 13:8

Owe no man anything, but to love one

another. For he that loves his neighbor

has fulfilled the law.


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SIN = any failure to LOVE


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TWO: The Confrontation To REBUKE is to "to

honor," or "to give due

weight or value." Tohold people

accountable for their

actions is a way of

honoring them.


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THREE

: The Repentance To REPENT means to

change ones mind


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2 Samuel 12:13-23

And David said to Nathan: I have sinnedagainst the Lord. And Nathan said to David:

The Lord also has taken away your sin: you

shall not die. Nevertheless, because you have

given occasion to the enemies of the Lord toblaspheme, for this thing, the child that is born

to you, shall surely die. And Nathan returned

to his house. The Lord also struck the child

which the wife of Urias had borne to David,and his life was despaired of. And David

besought the Lord for the child: and David

kept a fast, and going in by himself lay upon

the ground.


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And the ancients of his house came, to make

him rise from the ground: but he would not,

neither did he eat meat with them. And it cameto pass on the seventh day that the child died:

and the servants of David feared to tell him,

that the child was dead. For they said: Behold

when the child was yet alive, we spoke to him,and he would not hearken to our voice: how

much more will he afflict himself if we tell him

that the child is dead? But when David saw his

servants whispering, he understood that thechild was dead: and he said to his servants: Is

the child dead? They answered him He is

dead.


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Then David arose from the ground, and washed and

anointed himself: and when he had changed his

apparel, he went into the house of the Lord: and

worshipped, and then he came into his own house,

and he called for bread, and ate. And his servants said

to him: What thing is this that you have done? You

fasted and wept for the child, while it was alive, but

when the child was dead, you rose up, and atebread. And he said: While the child was yet alive, I

fasted and wept for him: for I said: Who knows

whether the Lord may not give him to me, and the

child may live? But now that he is dead, why should I

fast? Shall I be able to bring him back any more? I

shall go to him rather: but he shall not return to me.


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FOUR: The Forgiveness

Forgiveness is the loving, voluntary

cancellation of a debt


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Galatians 6:7-8

Be not deceived: Godis not mocked. For what

things a man shall sow, those also shall he

reap. For he that sows in his flesh of the flesh

also shall reap corruption. But he that sows in

the spirit of the spirit shall reap life

everlasting.


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FIVE: The Restoration

Restoration in our human relationships gives

us a finite taste of the joy God experiences

when we in repentance come to Him admitting

our sin.


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Nehemiah 9:17

And they would not hear, and they

remembered not your wonders which you had

done for them. And they hardened their

necks, and in their rebellion they appointed a

leader to return to their bondage. But you, a

forgiving God, gracious, and merciful,

longsuffering, and full of compassion, did not

forsake them.


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Romans 5:8-11

ButGodcommends his charitytowards us: becausewhen as yet we were sinners according to the time, Christ

died for us. Much more therefore, being now justified by

his blood, shall we be saved from wrath through him. For

if, when we were enemies, we were reconciled to God by

the death of his Son: much more, being reconciled, shallwe be saved by his life. And not only so: but also we

gloryin God, through ourLord Jesus Christ, by whom we

have now received reconciliation.


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Colossians 2:12-19

Buried with him in baptism: in whom also you are risenagain by the faith of the operation of God who has raised

him up from the dead. And you, when you were dead in

your sins and the uncircumcision of your flesh, he has

quickened together with him, forgiving you all offences:

Blotting out the handwriting of the decree that wasagainst us, which was contrary to us. And he has taken

the same out of the way, fastening it to the cross. And

despoiling the principalities and powers, he has exposed

them confidently in open show, triumphing over them inhimself.


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Colossians 2:12-19

Let no man therefore judge you in food or in drink or inrespect of a festival day or of the new moon or of the

sabbaths, which are a shadow of things to come: but the

body is of Christ. Let no man seduce you, willing in

humility and religion of angels, walking in the things

which he has not seen, in vain puffed up by the sense ofhis flesh: And not holding the head, from which the whole

body, by joints and bands, being supplied with

nourishment and compacted, grows into the increase of

God.


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The COST of FORGIVENESS

1 Peter 3:18

Because Christalso died once for oursins, the

just for the unjust: that he might offer us to God,

being put to death indeed in the flesh, but

enlivened in the spirit,


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The COST of FORGIVENESS

Romans 12:17-21 To no man rendering evil for evil. Providing good things,

not only in the sight of God but also in the sight of all

men. If it be possible, as much as is in you, have peace

with all men. Revenge not yourselves, my dearly beloved;but give place unto wrath, for it is written: Revenge is

mine, I will repay, says the Lord. But if the enemy be

hungry, give him to eat; if he thirst, give him to drink. For,

doing this, you shall heap coals of fire upon his head. Be

not overcome by evil: but overcome evil by good.


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When facing forgiveness, think of it as

the process of a lifetimeMatthew 18:21-22

Then came Peter unto him and said: Lord, how

often shall my brother offend against me, and I

forgive him? Till seven times? Jesus said to him:

I say not to you, till seven times; but till seventy

times seven times.


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When you are the offender, be careful

not to demand forgiveness.

Psalm 51:19

A sacrifice to God is an afflicted spirit: a contriteand humbled heart, O God, you will not despise.


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In anticipation of future hurts, begin

developing a heart of forgiveness.

There are at least four qualities of character

that can help us to develop a forgiving spirit

toward those who harm us.


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1. A passion for more than what the

here-and-now can provide.Matthew 5:6

"Blessed are those who hunger and thirst after

righteousness, for they will be filled"


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Matthew 5:39-42

But I say to you not to resist evil: but if one

strike you on your right cheek, turn to him

also the other: And if a man will contend with

you in judgment, and take away your coat, let

go your cloak also unto him. And whosoever

will force you one mile, go with him other two.

42 Give to him that asks of you, and from him

that would borrow of you turn not away.


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Luke 6:32-36

And if you love them that love you, what

thanks are to you? For sinners also love

those that love them. And if you do good tothem who do good to you, what thanks are to

you? For sinners also do this. And if you lend

to them of whom you hope to receive, whatthanks are to you? For sinners also lend to

sinners, for to receive as much.


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Luke 6:32-36

.But love your enemies: do good, and lend,

hoping for nothing thereby: and your reward

shall be great, and you shall be the sons ofthe Highest. For he is kind to the unthankful

and to the evil. Be therefore merciful, as your

Father also is merciful.


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2. A brokenness through sorrow and

grief.2 Corinthians 7:10

For the sorrow that is according to God works

penance, steadfast unto salvation: but the sorrow

of the world works death.


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3. A refusal to seekrevenge.

Revenge is natural. Undeserved kindness is

not. Those who live apart from grace live in

various stages of bitterness, guilt, rage, fear,

separation, and loneliness. The poison of an

unforgiving heart is not merely offered to the

enemy but is swallowed first by the one who

is holding the bottle.


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Romans 12:19

Revenge not yourselves, my dearly beloved;

but give place unto wrath, for it is written:

Revenge is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.


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4. A courageous desire to love others

as God has loved us.There is no greater reason to love and forgive

others than the realization of how kind and

merciful God has been to us.


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Luke 7:40-48

And Jesus answering, said to him: Simon, I have somewhat to

say to you. But he said: Master, say it. A certain creditor had two

debtors: the one owed five hundred pence and the other fifty. And

whereas they had not wherewith to pay, he forgave them both.

Which therefore of the two loves him most? Simon answering,

said: I suppose that he to whom he forgave most. And he said to

him: You have judged rightly. And turning to the woman, he said

unto Simon: Do you see this woman? I entered into your house:

you gave me no water for my feet. But she with tears has washed

my feet; and with her hairs has wiped them. You gave me no

kiss. But she, since she came in, has not ceased to kiss my feet.My head with oil you did not anoint. But she with ointment has

anointed my feet. Wherefore, I say to you: Many sins are forgiven

her, because she has loved much. But to whom less is forgiven,

he loves less.And he said to her: Your sins are forgiven you.


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Matthew 18:23-35

Therefore is the kingdom of heaven likened to a king, who would

take an account of his servants. And when he had begun to take

the account, one was brought to him, that owed him ten thousand

talents. And as he had not wherewith to pay it, his lord commanded

that he should be sold, and his wife and children, and all that he

had, and payment to be made. But that servant falling down,

besought him, saying: Have patience with me, and I will pay you all.

And the lord of that servant being moved with pity, let him go and

forgave him the debt. But when that servant had gone out, he foundone of his fellow-servants that owed him an hundred pence: and

laying hold of him, he throttled him, saying:


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Matthew 18:23-35

Pay what you owe. And his fellow-servant falling down, besought

him, saying: Have patience with me, and I will pay you all. And he

would not: but went and cast him into prison, till he paid the debt.

Now his fellow servants seeing what was done, were very much

grieved, and they came, and told their lord all that was done. Thenhis lord called him: and said to him: You wicked servant, I forgave

you all the debt, because you besought me: Should you not then

have had compassion also on your fellow servant, even as I had

compassion on you? And his lord being angry, delivered him to the

torturers until he paid all the debt. So also shall my heavenly Father

do to you, if you forgive not every one his brother from your hearts.


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2 Corinthians 5:18-19

But all things are of God, who has reconciled

us to himself by Christ and has given to us

the ministry of reconciliation. For God indeed

was in Christ, reconciling the world to himself,

not imputing to them their sins. And he has

placed in us the word of reconciliation.


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MISCONCEPTIONS ABOUT

FORGIVENESS1. Minimizing The Offense.

2. Forgiving And Forgetting.

Psalm 79:8

Oh, do not remember former iniquities against us!Let

Your tender mercies come speedily to meet us, for we

have been brought very low.


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MISCONCEPTIONS ABOUT

FORGIVENESS3. Forgiving For Your Own Sake.

1 John 1:9

If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to

forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all

unrighteousness


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A CASESTUDY OF FORGIVENESS

(Genesis 37-50)


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A PARABLEOF FORGIVENESS

Luke 15:11-31


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A Repentant Heart. The prodigal son demonstrated a repentant heart that was

broken when he came to his senses and decided to returnhome to his father. Repentance is a brokenness and

change of life-direction marked by:

Hunger for restoration. He longed for something more

than what he had available to him in his sin. He longed togo home (v.16).

Humble confession. He willingly acknowledged his

selfish violation of love first toward God and then toward

others (vv.18-19). Plea for mercy. He recognized that he deserved

nothing and pleaded for mercy, to serve as a slave,

without a demand for restoration to his previous position

in the family (v.21).


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A Forgiving Heart.

It is the father in the story who represents the unexpected

forgiving heart of God in response to genuine repentance

that is marked by: Hopeful anticipation. The father never gave up hoping for his

son's repentance and return home to be restored to him again. He

was persevering in prayer and intently looking for the day he saw the

familiar form of his son on the horizon (v.20). The hopeful yearning

for restoration was never quenched in the heart of the father.


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A Forgiving Heart.

Courageous love. The father was willing to humble himself and

not conform to the cultural mandate of his day to make his son

grovel in the dirt. Instead, in a spontaneous, jubilant act of love, he

ran to embrace his son (v.20). Gracious mercy. Forgiveness was joyfully granted because he

sensed the repentance in the heart of his son, and he restored him to

a position of sonship that was unheard of (v.22).

Celebration of repentance. The father planned a party to celebrate

the return of his son. His son was heading in a direction that broughtseparation and death to their relationship, but now he was alive and

reconciled to his father (vv. 23-24).


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An Unforgiving Heart.

The older son (representative of the Pharisees who were

listening to the parable) is a study in the stubborn refusal to

forgive that is characterized by: Hardness. There was an unwillingness on his part to consider

restoration of his younger foolish brother. He felt justifiably cold

toward his brother. And he was outraged that his father would still

want a relationship with a son who had so deeply offended him (v.28).


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An Unforgiving Heart.

Demanding of revenge. His focus was only on

immediately punishing his brother for what he

had done rather than focusing on what hadchanged in his heart. He wanted to make his

brother pay for what he had done. He had no

mercy and no desire for reconciliation (v.28).


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An Unforgiving Heart. Arrogant refusal to celebrate. The older son

withheld relationship from both his brother and his

father (v.28). He missed an opportunity for joy and

celebration because he was preoccupied with himself.

He missed the loving heart of the father that longs forrestoration. Instead, he angrily withdrew in self-

justified indignation and smugness over being right,

and he refused to recognize that what he was doing

was causing just as much pain and separation betweenhimself and his father as was caused by his younger

brother.


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The refusal to forgive indicates a rebellious,

stubborn heart that has not drunk deeply of

the water of grace and mercy at the well of

God's forgiveness Luke. 7:47

Wherefore, I say to you: Many sins are forgiven

her, because she has loved much. But to whom

less is forgiven, he loves less.


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2 Peter 1:5-7

And you, employing all care, minister in your

faith, virtue: And in virtue, knowledge: And in

knowledge, abstinence: and in abstinence,

patience: and in patience, godliness: 7 And in

godliness, love of brotherhood: and in love of

brotherhood, charity.


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2 Peter 1:8-9

"For if these things are yours and abound,

you will be neither barren nor unfruitful in the

knowledge of ourLord Jesus Christ. For he

who lacks these things is shortsighted, even

to blindness, and has forgotten that he was

cleansed from his old sins"


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THEPARADOX OF FORGIVINGLOVE

Romans 12:9

"Let love be without hypocrisy. Abhor what is

evil. Cling to what is good

1 John 4:17

For then, and only then, is love "made complete

among us so that we will have confidence on theday of judgment, because in this world we are

like Him"


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when forgiveness