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8/14/2019 Transitions Blue
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TransitionsTransitionsputting the pieces togetherputting the pieces together~a course in~a course in
changechange
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? What youll learn today? What youll learn today
?? Identifying Lifes Rites of PassageIdentifying Lifes Rites of Passage
Clarifying Your Personal PassageClarifying Your Personal Passage
MarkersMarkersThe Phases & Transitions of LifeThe Phases & Transitions of Life
Making Plans, Adaptation, &Making Plans, Adaptation, &
FailureFailure
Strengthening Your PersonalStrengthening Your Personal
Networks of CommunityNetworks of Community
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Session 1Session 1
Lifes Rites ofLifes Rites ofPassagePassage
[Passage Points][Passage Points]
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Definition~ Rite ofDefinition~ Rite of
PassagePassage A ritual or ceremony signifyingA ritual or ceremony signifying
events in a persons life indicative ofevents in a persons life indicative ofa transition from one stage toa transition from one stage to
anotheranother A change in a persons life socialA change in a persons life social
statusstatus
An event which ushers an individualAn event which ushers an individualto a level of competency or maturityto a level of competency or maturitybeyond their previous levelbeyond their previous level
A celebration to honour anA celebration to honour anindividuals passage from one lifeindividuals passage from one life
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Entering/Exiting a PassageEntering/Exiting a Passage
Point?Point?
EnergyEnergy
New ideasyouNew ideasyou
see thingssee thingsdifferently nowdifferently now
Driven to try newDriven to try new
thingsthings Want a differentWant a different
environmentenvironment
Dreams outside theDreams outside the
boxbox
TiredTired
Lack motivationLack motivation
Frustration withFrustration with
yourselfyourself
Same ol same olSame ol same ol
Unfulfilled dreamsUnfulfilled dreams Stiffled energiesStiffled energies
you want to MOVEyou want to MOVE
SignsSi
gns
PositivePositiveSignsSi
gns
Negative
Negative
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Western Culture andWestern Culture and
Passage PointsPassage Points
Most world cultures insist on them:Most world cultures insist on them:
postmodern culture seeks topostmodern culture seeks to
eliminate themeliminate them
Outside of academiaOutside of academia ceremonyceremony isis
largely lackinglargely lacking
Recognition of achievement is down-Recognition of achievement is down-
playedplayed
Religious ceremony (exception-Religious ceremony (exception-
weddings) is viewed as nice butweddings) is viewed as nice but
hardly essential to lifehardly essential to life
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TheThe
UltimateUltimate
Rite ofRite of
PassagePassage
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Our NEED for Rites ofOur NEED for Rites of
PassagePassage Identifies TransitionsIdentifies Transitions Moves an individual to the next levelMoves an individual to the next level
of lifeof life
Brings definition to a new role in lifeBrings definition to a new role in lifeor workor work
Declares the end of an era of grief orDeclares the end of an era of grief or
painpain Recognizes achievement publiclyRecognizes achievement publicly
Forces one to rise to the occasionForces one to rise to the occasion
Raises a sense of ersonalRaises a sense of personal
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Our Rites of PassageOur Rites of Passage
Potty Training!!!Potty Training!!!
Being Able to SwimBeing Able to Swim
First KissFirst Kiss
Graduation fromGraduation fromPrimary SchoolPrimary School
First SexualFirst SexualEncounterEncounter
High SchoolHigh SchoolGraduationGraduation
First Job / CollegeFirst Job / College
Promotion /Promotion /GraduationGraduation
First MortgageFirst Mortgage
MarriageMarriage
First Child (orFirst Child (or
twins)twins) 16, 18, 21, 30, 50,16, 18, 21, 30, 50,
6565
[Divorce] ~New[Divorce] ~New
RelationshipRelationship EntrepreneurialEntrepreneurial
SpiritSpirit
RetirementRetirement
Last RitesLast Rites
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My Rites of PassageMy Rites of Passage
End of career inEnd of career inchemistrychemistry
Gang upGang up
Beth WatsonBeth Watson Moved to SuburbsMoved to Suburbs
First Job (lifeFirst Job (lifeguard)guard)
First VolvoFirst Volvo(1958 PV 544- Red, of(1958 PV 544- Red, of
course)course)
ValedictorianValedictorian
BA, BD, ThM, MABA, BD, ThM, MA
Philosophy to FaithPhilosophy to Faith
IVCFIVCF
Starr LynnStarr LynnVanArtsdalenVanArtsdalen
Firing RefiningFiring RefiningRefittingRefitting
Josh & BethJosh & Beth
NEEDNEEDincinc
DoctorateDoctorate
Resurgency,Resurgency,
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Personal MarkersPersonal Markers
~ We all have PERSONAL MARKERS.~ We all have PERSONAL MARKERS.
Life-Life-
LineLineSomeSome
Early InEarly InLifeLife
SomeSome
Late inLate inLifeLife
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Session 2Session 2
Personal MarkersPersonal Markers[a Workshop][a Workshop]
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DirectionsDirections
1.1. Draw your Life-LineDraw your Life-Line
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Personal MarkersPersonal Markers
~ We all have PERSONAL MARKERS.~ We all have PERSONAL MARKERS.
Life-Life-
LineLineSomeSome
Early InEarly InLifeLife
SomeSome
Late inLate inLifeLife
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DirectionsDirections
Draw your Life-LineDraw your Life-Line
Mark Passage Points, describingMark Passage Points, describing
them succinctly.them succinctly.
To what extent did each PassageTo what extent did each Passage
Point effect your Life? (1-10)Point effect your Life? (1-10)
Discuss within your group Discuss within your group WhatWhatdid you learn about yourself fromdid you learn about yourself from
each passage point?each passage point?
Large Group Wrap-up.Large Group Wrap-up.
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Session 3Session 3
Phases &Phases &TransitionsTransitions~facing lifes~facing lifes
unexpectedunexpectedtwists & turnstwists & turns
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learnedlearned
about lifeabout life
when I waswhen I wasstuck in thestuck in the
bathroombathroomwith awith a
house fullhouse full
of peopleof peopleand noand no
toilettoileta er.
OrOr
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This is My Life !This is My Life !
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Time Growth GraphTime Growth Graph
TimeTime
GrowGrowthth
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Phases & TransitionsPhases & Transitions
Phase
Phase
Phase
Goals
Direction
Decisive
+ Self-esteem
Stability
Innerpeace
Self-Confidence
No goals ordirection
Indecisive
Lousy self-esteem
Unstable(emotions, etc)
Inner turmoil -
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TRANSITIONSTRANSITIONS ~~strategies forstrategies forcoping with the difficult, painful, andcoping with the difficult, painful, and
confusing times in your lifeconfusing times in your lifeby William Bridgesby William Bridges
EndingEnding bringing to closure, with or bringing to closure, with or
without resolutionwithout resolution
Neutral ZoneNeutral Zone the time in between, the time in between,the space needed for being,the space needed for being,
regrouping and processing to moveregrouping and processing to move
beyondbeyond
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TRANSITIONSTRANSITIONS ~~strategies forstrategies forcoping with the difficult, painful, andcoping with the difficult, painful, and
confusing times in your lifeconfusing times in your lifeby William Bridgesby William Bridges
EndingEnding bringing to closure, with or bringing to closure, with or
without resolutionwithout resolution
Neutral ZoneNeutral Zone the time in between, the time in between,the space needed for being,the space needed for being,
regrouping and processing to moveregrouping and processing to move
beyondbeyond Making a BeginningMaking a Beginning launching, launching,
giving life, creating, but only aftergiving life, creating, but only after
something has come to a definitivesomething has come to a definitive
Y Ph &Y Ph &
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Your Phases &Your Phases &
TransitionsTransitions[[in small groupsin small groups]]
Where are you now? Phase orWhere are you now? Phase orTransition?Transition?
In that nebulous space between theIn that nebulous space between the
two?two?
What important decisions or eventsWhat important decisions or events
loom on your horizon?loom on your horizon?
Where can you find counsel,Where can you find counsel,
guidance, a friend?guidance, a friend?
If you need private time to process,If you need private time to process,
when will you schedule it? [You MUSTwhen will you schedule it? [You MUST
OrOr
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The PRIMARY QUESTIONThe PRIMARY QUESTION
is ~is ~With all the compiled experiencesWith all the compiled experiences
of my life, including what Ive learnedof my life, including what Ive learned
in this last Transition,in this last Transition,
WHAT AM I BEING DESIGNEDWHAT AM I BEING DESIGNED
FORFORIN THE NEXT PHASEIN THE NEXT PHASE
OF MY LIFE?OF MY LIFE?
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and you
think yourpresent job
stinks!?
More SpecificallyMore Specifically
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More SpecificallyMore Specificallythe Secondary Questionsthe Secondary Questions
before usbefore us~~ How can I gear up to come out of theHow can I gear up to come out of theother side of a transition?other side of a transition?
What inner pain must I face in order toWhat inner pain must I face in order tomove on?move on?
What proactive steps can I DO toWhat proactive steps can I DO to
prepare to reenter a healthy,prepare to reenter a healthy,
productive life-style and work force?productive life-style and work force?
How can I overcome my failure(s)? [or,How can I overcome my failure(s)? [or,
aa sensesense of failure.]of failure.]
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PlansPlans
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PLANSPLANS PrinciplesPrinciples
Before somethingBefore something
can be done,can be done,
something elsesomething else
must be donemust be donefirst.first. What is it? What is it?
DreamDreamWhat doWhat do
you want your lifeyou want your life
to look like ato look like amonth from today?month from today?
~six months~six months
~a year~a year
What new patternsWhat new patterns
do you need todo you need to
integrateintegrate NOWNOW??
What needs moreWhat needs moreattention in yourattention in your
life?life?
What needsWhat needs
refinement?refinement?
What needsWhat needs
correction?correction?
What needsWhat needs
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PLANS--PLANS--ExecutionExecution
Pick your top threePick your top threeplans to begin,plans to begin,
change, refine.change, refine.
What will you DOWhat will you DOto begin to createto begin to create
the new YOU!?the new YOU!?
Second-guessSecond-guess
Obstacles.Obstacles. Who will help you;Who will help you;
who will check inwho will check in
with you?with you?
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Work GroupsWork Groups
Name three (3) things you want toName three (3) things you want to
change or initiate in your life or workchange or initiate in your life or work
What will be the first steps in puttingWhat will be the first steps in putting
your plan into action?your plan into action?
What will have to go to make roomWhat will have to go to make room
for this new activity?for this new activity?
What challenges/problems do youWhat challenges/problems do you
initially expect? How will you meetinitially expect? How will you meet
them?them?
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AdaptationAdaptation
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AdaptationAdaptation
Intended PathIntended Path
Whoop
Whoop
ss
Wow!
What to do,What to do,
what to do?what to do?
GoalGoal
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Adapting to AdaptingAdapting to Adapting
Use pencilUse pencil(figuratively)(figuratively)
Learn to take risksLearn to take risks
Build in a fudgeBuild in a fudgefactor to allow forfactor to allow for
variationsvariations
Theres more thanTheres more than
ONE WAY to doONE WAY to dosomethingsomething
R-E-L-A-XR-E-L-A-X
Take some down-Take some down-
Give things TIMEGive things TIME
Dont try to doDont try to do
every-thing at onceevery-thing at once
Have a backupHave a backupplanplan
Have an escapeHave an escape
planplan Admit yourAdmit your
mistakesmistakes
Laugh at yourselfLaugh at yourself
moremore
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Confidentiality TimeConfidentiality Time
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Confidentiality TimeConfidentiality Time
QuestionQuestion:: Where have youWhere have you
failedfailed??[small groups][small groups] In relationships? Your profession?In relationships? Your profession?
School? Life?School? Life?
How did you feel about it?How did you feel about it?
How did others view you?How did others view you?
What did you do to get back on yourWhat did you do to get back on yourfeet?feet?
How did you move beyond theHow did you move beyond the
failure?failure? (Or maybe you havent yet.)(Or maybe you havent yet.)
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FailureFailure reflectionsreflections
Failure isnt the endFailure isnt the end Make a lot of mistakes; statisticallyMake a lot of mistakes; statistically
you cant get it wrong all the timeyou cant get it wrong all the time (e.g.(e.g.Thomas Edison)Thomas Edison)
Failure isnt necessarily failure. It justFailure isnt necessarily failure. It just
means you havent nailed downmeans you havent nailed down
Gods design for your life yetGods design for your life yet
If everything you do works youreIf everything you do works youre
not trying hard enoughnot trying hard enough..
Learn from failureLearn from failure
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Down & Dirty Discussion TimeDown & Dirty Discussion Time [large[largegroup]group]
~What have you~What have youlearned from your pastlearned from your past
mistakes, failures, andmistakes, failures, and
really big screw-upsreally big screw-ups
that you would like tothat you would like topass on to others?pass on to others?Basic Principle ofBasic Principle of
Making MistakesMaking Mistakes
~Always make the~Always make thesame mistake at leastsame mistake at least
twice.twice.
That way youll beThat way youll be
able to make itable to make it
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Session 5Session 5
Re-Entry ThreadsRe-Entry Threads
~~your network ofyour network of
relationshipsrelationships
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People and PlansPeople and Plans
If you areIf you aregoing to growgoing to grow
beyondbeyondwhere youwhere youare atare at
present youpresent youneed a PLANneed a PLAN
and youand you Your Network ofYour Network of
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Your Network ofYour Network of
RelationshipsRelationships
PEOPLE TYPESPEOPLE TYPES VIPsVIPs Very Important People Very Important People
VEPsVEPs Very Enlightening People Very Enlightening People
VHPsVHPs Very Helpful People Very Helpful People
VPPsVPPs Very Peripheral People Very Peripheral People
VCPsVCPs Very Critical People Very Critical People
VDPsVDPs Very Draining People Very Draining People
M N t k fM N t k f
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My Network ofMy Network of
RelationshipsRelationships
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VIPsVIPs Very Important Very Important
PeoplePeople
VEPsVEPsVery EnlighteningVery Enlightening
PeoplePeople
VHPsVHPsVery Helpful PeopleVery Helpful People
VPPsVPPsVery PeripheralVery Peripheral
PeoplePeople
[5-
12]
[6]
[3-4]
[?]
[1-2]
[0-2]
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Identifying YourIdentifying YourNetworks of PeopleNetworks of People
oror
Whos whoWhos whoforfor YouYou??
Y N t k fYo r Net ork of
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Your Network ofYour Network of
RelationshipsRelationships [Small Groups][Small Groups] Who are theWho are the VIPs, VEPs, VHPsVIPs, VEPs, VHPs, in, in
your life?your life?
How do you see them helping youHow do you see them helping you
establish a new beginning in the nextestablish a new beginning in the next
phase of your life?phase of your life?
Who are the one or two importantWho are the one or two important
people you will ask to come alongpeople you will ask to come alongside you this coming week?side you this coming week?
Who are theWho are the VCPsVCPs && VDPsVDPs in yourin your
life? How can you address the effectlife? How can you address the effect
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TRANSITIONSTRANSITIONSA ReviewA Review
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What We Did TodayWhat We Did Today
Session 1: Lifes Rites ofSession 1: Lifes Rites of
Passage/Passage PointsPassage/Passage Points
Session 2: Personal MarkersSession 2: Personal Markers
(Workshop)(Workshop)
Session 3: Phases & TransitionsSession 3: Phases & Transitions
Session 4: Plans, Adaptation &Session 4: Plans, Adaptation &
FailureFailure
Session 5: Reentr Threads
ome naome na
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ome naome naQuestion?Question?
1.1. What will you DO with what youWhat will you DO with what you
learned today?learned today?
2.2. When will you put your plans andWhen will you put your plans andideas into action? [tonight?]ideas into action? [tonight?]
3.3. How is your sense of self rightHow is your sense of self right
now?now?
5.5. Was this course worth your timeWas this course worth your time
and mone ?and money?
TRANSITIONSTRANSITIONS
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TRANSITIONSTRANSITIONS wassponsored by
The CollegeThe College
ChurchChurch
58 Pomeroy Terrace58 Pomeroy TerraceNorthampton, MANorthampton, MA
0106101061
413.586-0057413.586-0057www.thecollegechurcwww.thecollegechurc
NEEDNEEDincincOne S. PleasantOne S. Pleasant
StreetStreetAmherst, MAAmherst, MA
0100201002
413 259-0077413 259-0077www.needinc.orgwww.needinc.orgFeel free to contact either organizationFeel free to contacteither organization
for further help with the TRANSITIONS in yourfor further help with the TRANSITIONS in your
life.life.
http://www.thecollegechurch.org/http://www.thecollegechurch.org/http://www.needinc.org/http://www.needinc.org/http://www.thecollegechurch.org/http://www.needinc.org/http://www.thecollegechurch.org/http://www.needinc.org/http://www.needinc.org/http://www.thecollegechurch.org/8/14/2019 Transitions Blue
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TRANSITIONSTRANSITIONS
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TRANSITIONSTRANSITIONS wassponsored by
The CollegeThe College
ChurchChurch
58 Pomeroy Terrace58 Pomeroy TerraceNorthampton, MANorthampton, MA
0106101061
413.586-0057413.586-0057www.thecollegechurcwww.thecollegechurc
NEEDNEEDincinc
One S. PleasantOne S. Pleasant
StreetStreetAmherst, MAAmherst, MA
0100201002
413 259-0077413 259-0077www.needinc.orgwww.needinc.orgFeel free to contact either organizationFeel free to contacteither organization
for further help with the TRANSITIONS in yourfor further help with the TRANSITIONS in your
life.life.
http://www.thecollegechurch.org/http://www.thecollegechurch.org/http://www.needinc.org/http://www.needinc.org/http://www.thecollegechurch.org/http://www.needinc.org/http://www.thecollegechurch.org/http://www.needinc.org/http://www.needinc.org/http://www.thecollegechurch.org/Recommended